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Thursday, February 16, 2012
3:07 pm
47 Comments
Tagged: bravo, hilarious, Honey Gangsta, real housewives of orange county, recap, RHOC, spoof, tvgasm
Okay you guys. Vicki the Truffle Hunter? Brooks the Southern Fried Corn Dog? Alexis’s brain can’t spare a square? Gretchen’s Jem and the Holograms makeup? Heather is Audrina in 20 years? Donn as Quasimodo watching the dinner? FREAKING HILARIOUS!!!! I’ve been missing out on a great party with this show. I’m so glad I popped in before the music stops playing. Thank you for a week of belly laughter!
And PS, you know you’re jealous.
Now where were we? Yes, that’s right, we were at Vicki’s party where new Housewife Heather is arriving to meet the cast. Vicki hilariously offers to help the kitchen staff with whatever it is they’re doing. They’re like, “Please go away and let us do our jobs. Do we come to your office and try to sell insurance?” Gretchen and Alexis arrive with Gretchen’s friend Sarah tagging along. I guess we are supposed to pay attention to her because she has a bio on the Bravo website. Is she a Housewife? I don’t know, she doesn’t appear in the opening credits with some deluded one-liner about how envious we should all be. She’s like a semi-wife, I guess.
Alexis informs us that she and husband Jim have “worked through” the hurt and betrayal caused by the discovery that Jim used to date Peggy, but Peggy is still in big troubs for not bringing it to Alexis’s attention. Nice diversion tactic, Alexis. And by “working through” she probably means that Jim bought her a diamond or an eyebrow lift or something similar to shut her up. All fixed! And I’m sure he’d be willing to tell us precisely how much peace costs him at his house. That douche is a price dropper! Meanwhile we learn that Peggy’s daughter London (or as I like to call her, Liverpool) has broken her arm. Part of the treatment for this included pins in said arm that have since been removed. Alexis one-ups this by announcing that she has a rod in her leg that remains to THIS DAY. Suck it, Liverpool.
Heather meets Alexis and manages to politely rub it in her face that she recently had to move out of Newport Beach and into the ghetto trash area known as Dana Point. Maybe Heather can offer Alexis a job on the construction crew of her new mansion.
“Yes, I know your old house. It’s the boarded-up one with the eviction notice on the door.”
In other news, Vicki lets everyone know that many people have come to look at her house and they all want it, but no one can afford it. Including you, Vicki. Also? Donn is dating someone. And still living here. And ringing the bell, hahahaha! Thanks for that visual, anniedawg25!
“I like cajun food…”
Remember Sarah? She of the Bravo biography? Well she chattily tells the gals of her boyfriend’s recent informal proposal and laments that he needs to get down on one knee. Heather quickly shuts her down, saying, “No honey, you know what he needs to do? He needs to buy a RING. Let me tell you something, until a man makes a monetary commitment? I’m sorry.” Sarah’s like, “Have we met? You don’t get to be a bridesmaid.” Tamra’s loving this and gets Heather to tell how she got engaged. It was on an airplane to Paris, and Heather was mad that (now husband) Terry couldn’t wait to get to Paris and had to propose there with magazines in plain sight. How MIDDLE CLASS. Plus the huge ring on her finger isn’t her wedding ring or her engagement ring. It’s the ring she got for her most recent (accidental) baby. She must have refused to give birth until Terry made a monetary commitment. About now, everyone’s had about as much as they can stand from Heather, so luckily Vicki calls everyone to dinner. The girls are NOT impressed with the cajun fare which includes Fritos and crawfish that have to be dismembered before being eaten. Heather makes a jab at Gretchen’s spinsterhood, saying that one day when she has children she won’t eat carbs. Gretchen almost chokes on her Frito. Then Tamra screams that Gretchen had her lips done. Gretchen’s probably wishing that Slade were here to call Tamra a slut and Heather a gold digger. Too bad. Vicki’s had enough of everyone squealing about how disgusting the food is, so she tells them it’s a school night and the party’s about over.
“Getting to the crawfish meat involves WORK, so I might be the only one who understands.”
As everyone begins to leave, for reasons unknown to sane people, Peggy starts to cry over not being friends with Alexis anymore. Vicki and Tamra try to remind her what an idiot Alexis is, not to mention her gross husband, who accused Peggy of stalking him. Hahahahahaha! Inexplicably, these reminders prompt Peggy to run after Alexis and beg her to “have a talk.” Alexis declines, acting like she’s way too classy to engage in anything that might disrupt Vicki’s party. Apparently screaming that the food Vicki served was gross was perfectly acceptable party etiquette. But now Alexis has to go home and (watch Christina) make lunch for her children and (air) kiss her children goodnight. All this is of course said in a way as to imply that Peggy is not nearly the mother Alexis is.
“I’ll pray that you didn’t really date my husband.”
Thus denied, Peggy decides she’s put in more than enough effort on this nonsense and she’s through trying to be friends. To us, she says that Jim has been investigated by the FBI and so she was too scared to tell Alexis that they dated. LOL. Does the FBI have a Christian chauvinist division now?
Let’s get to know a little more about Heather and her family, shall we? OMG, their custom mansion has a monogram of their initials on a marble floor. That’s not pretentious at all. Heather informs us that when she was living in LA as an “actress” she met her husband on a blind date. Oh Heather, an actress friend referring you to the guy who did her boobs does not count as a set-up. Heather says it was love at first sight… for him. I hate to pop her bubble, but that look he gave her was probably him mentally drawing all over her with a Sharpee.
“Stop re-aligning my boobs in your head.”
Heather says that in their marriage, sure, they discuss things, but SHE’S in charge. She has four kids, the youngest of which is homeless in this sprawling mansion since, as she never fails to remind us, this baby was an accident and there is just nowhere to put her. Certainly the movie theater can’t be converted. And Heather is sick of taking the elevator a hundred times a day to the far-off hallway where the baby is squatting. Sounds to me like it’s time to get a move-on on that new mansion you guys are going to build. But if it takes as long as Heather claims the current one took, that baby’s going to be living in the pantry until she’s six. Heather uses the word “expensive” about 400 times when telling us that her family lives in a place called “billionaires’ row.” Got it, Heather. You guys are super important, ok?
“This is where the baby sleeps until we finish our bigger house on Trillionaires’ Row.”
Oh this is good. Heather and her husband are both Jewish AND Buddhist. So they call themselves Boo-Jews. There’s a term for the country club! How exactly do those two completely different religions mesh, I’m curious to know? Is the Buddhism just an excuse for this huge EXPENSIVE Buddha statue in the Grand Foyer? There’s probably a plaque on it explaining how it’s two million years old and was extricated from middle earth at their EXPENSE. Boo-Jew Terry walks in with his Jewish side on display, sporting a yarmulke as a pocket square. The Buddha statue is annoyed. She didn’t come all the way from middle earth to be reminded that some other deity is above us.
Elsewhere in the OC, Tamra is folding clothes in preparation for an upcoming excursion to Catalina Island with her boyfriend Eddie, who is on the phone. The trip is for Tamra’s birthday and it’s a double-date-trip with Vicki and Brooks. Speaking of whom, Vicki is also packing and on the phone with Brooks, telling him what he needs to pack. And by this I means she specifies which shirt and shoes he needs to wear to each of the planned activities. After she’s gone through the entire trip and what he has to wear for each 15 minute interval, he surprises America by still agreeing to show up.
And at Gretchen’s house, Slade is eating Gretchen’s food and listening to her report on Vicki’s dinner party. When she comes to the part about new-girl Heather talking down to her, Slade declares it’s because Heather is old and she’s jealous that Gretchen is young. That’s all you got Slade? I think Heather’s really jealous that instead of a husband who builds her a mansion on Billionaires’ Row, Gretchen has a homeless boyfriend trying to siphon off 10% of her earnings by “managing” her life. I mean, there’s only so much good fortune to go around.
Gretchen realizes – again – that she’s a very lucky girl.
Now we have another ludicrous mini scene of Alexis. This time some girl is straightening her hair for her while her kids run around. Is Alexis disabled? I mean besides mentally?
Let the Catalina adventure begin! Brooks, Vicki and Tamra are all riding in a limo on their way to pick up Eddie then head for the Catalina Express boat. Brooks has a surprise for Vicki and while he digs through his bag to find it, Vicki gets ready to start counting diamonds, but alas, it’s just a sappy card. Brooks clearly isn’t ready to make a monetary commitment. He better get cracking because Vicki has already invested a lot of money buying him an entire new wardrobe to disguise him as an acceptable companion. Tamra’s thinking along the same lines because as soon as Eddie gets in the car she pins him down and shaves his nose hair. Sexy.
“You’ll hear my complaints better if you let me do your ears too.”
We take a little side trip to visit Gretchen at a photo shoot and she’s not wearing any makeup. Yama-hama, it’s fright night! She’s using Breast Cancer Awareness as an excuse to do a nude photo shoot with a cardboard pink purse hiding her unmentionables. Slade is naturally on-hand to collect his 10%.
Slade: So here’s where Charlie bites his brother’s finger…
Gretchen explains the many hats Slade wears. He does research and development, meaning that Gretchen does all of her cosmetics animal testing on him. That’s got to be worth the occasional sandwich, right? After offering Gretchen fruit, Slade decides he’s earned his keep for the day and declares he has his own stuff to work on. So he leaves to get on with his day. Just kidding! He surfs the web on his Gretchen’s pink laptop and takes pictures with his phone of Gretchen working to send to his Twitter. What a parasite. Oh look, Gretchen’s ready for the shoot.
“Cure cancer!”
And back to the old folks’ Catalina tour group – woohoo! As they settle in on the boat, Brooks tries to make out with Vicki, but she twitchingly announces that she won’t do PDA. Tamra wants to know what Brooks’s intentions are. Like is he going to commit monetarily or what? Vicki answers for him, saying that they’ve decided to be celibate. She means monogamous because let’s be honest. Brooks wouldn’t agree to be her barbie doll without some sort of payout. Hooray for relationships of convenience! Let’s drink tequila shots! Woohoo!
Brooks better change into his tequila-shot-taking shirt before he drinks that.
Sufficiently buzzed, Eddie and Vicki kiss each other’s hands, which sends Tamra into a jealous fury. She retaliates by grabbing Brooks’s hand and trying to put it on her boob. Brooks doesn’t want to give back all his free clothes, so he pulls away. Now everyone’s mad. Big trouble on the little boat. Eddie is particularly enraged that Tamra’s acting like an old ho. When the boat docks, Tamra gets up on a high horse, telling Eddie that his actions – of kissing Vicki’s hand, mind you - are irreversible (well, she says unreversible), and she orders him to apologize. Eddie tells her to take off. Tamra is astounded and dismayed to discover that Eddie has a mind of his own.
Tamra: I didn’t even know you could talk.
Everyone files off of the boat holding hands with clenched teeth and fake smiles. AWKWARD! Maybe this group is a little too old and deranged to be taking tequila shots like they’re 20. It seems to wipe away the phony calm demeanor and release years’ worth of pent-up dysfunction.
Eddie: I never made the swim team!
Tamra: I always wanted to be 5′ 7″!
Next week! Eddie is still mad, so Tamra tries to cry to get the ball back in her court. Heather demeans and orders her husband around. Slade stocks his arsenal with the news that Brooks has been arrested for failure to pay child support. HA! OMG, it’s going to be the Battle of the Deadbeats. Too much class for one county, I tell you!
What do you guys think this week?
Thanks for reading!
-Honey Gangsta
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47 Comments
Great Recap!! One of the best Ive read!!
Ok, who was it that said they never stopped filming?!? Cause I think you were right!! At the end of the year party, Vicki decked out the patio in an autumn theme. At dinner she said thanks for coming to my “end of summer” dinner party…
On Sarah’s bravo blog she said that she used to live next door to Heather, on billionaires row. –When the mister and I went to the courthouse we did not exchange rings. We didn’t exchange rings until we did our formal wedding with family 6 months later…that was 7 1/2 years ago…
Also, I think Sarah is taking over Pegsters part time roll. I have nothing really to say about Tamara, except that she is a grown ass woman. Vicki and Eddie were flirting. Big difference then putting a mans hands on your fun bags, ya dumb bitch!!
Great recap HG!!
Sorry I don’t get the love for Heather. She makes Vicki look overly nice and that is a feat.
Heather is the season’s sacrificial lamb. She is unaware and unseasoned and primed to brag and boast and be revealed as a fraud and an idiot. The other ladies will circle her like sharks but she will be her own downfall. Also I gagged when she said she had never watched the show last episode. She is a nobody Dlist actress and even if she was unaware of the show prior, an intelligent person would watch some marathons simply to get a feel for what they’d signed up for. She has clearly seen it and seen how vapid it is or she would not have proclaimed that so proudly so… I eagerly await the Bad Edit payback!
The Tamra/Eddie fight was a little overly vicious and although I agree (thisbuggs4u) she behaved immaturely, that is sort of her calling card-vulgarity and impulsiveness – he gave me flashbacks to Simon.
Great recap!! Why are these women so terrified of trying something even a little bit new? Vicki’s party was something different, I liked the theme.
I liked Heather in the small dose we got of her during the first episode (didn’t like the phony way she was integrated into the group). This episode..not so much. Although I think the fact that she possesses an IQ above 10 will lead to some brilliant fights/cutting remarks.
Every time I start to feel like I’m siding with Alexis (I do think Peggy is partly to blame, and I liked that Alexis said Peggy was bringing up their issues at the wrong time), she just does something so stupid I can’t.
Sarah = Eliza Dushku.
Did anyone else catch Gretchen saying she liked to support breast cancer research because she loves pink? So noble.
Um, first off, awesome recap. I looooved the Jem reference.
Secondly, I have no clue how I forgot how much I hate Alexis. She’s BY FAR the dumbest HW of the franchise. I do believe she even beats Teresa, Kim(atl), and Kelly Bensimon. Like, bitch can’t even finish a semi-intelligent thought. Oy vey, it’s gonna be a long season.
Lastly, Slade’s whole “Heather was mean to you cause you’re younger and prettier than she is” explanation to Gretch is soooo frusterating. I HATE when people automatically label a chick a “Hater” or whatever when she has talked shit about/to another female. Ummmm….is no one allowed to just simply be a bitch anymore? HE-LLLOOOO!? Like when Paul on Bev Hills IV’d during Brandi’s first swim with the sharks (Kyle’s charity “event”) saying that the other HW’s behavior is caused by the fact that women can’t handle it when a younger, more beautiful woman comes around. I think it’s more due to the fact that they are rich, bored assholes, and making fun of other people is fun and makes them feel more important. It’s just how un-interesting chicks bond. I happen to loathe Beyonce, always have, always will. When I tell someone this (usually a dude), I am not even given a chance to explain my reasoning before having the word “HATER!” barked in my face. Uh, no. I happen to think she is a beautiful woman, and a genius when it comes to marketing herself, & have no prob admitting that. All i’m saying is that there are so many reasons to dislike another person, and jealousy is a little out-played as an explanation, no to mention slightly delusional. My vote is that Heather is just a plain-old BEEOTCH. Time will tell.
Agreed Tmurda. I hate when jealousy is the first thing people put out there as to why they don’t like you. Some times it is but most times it isn’t. Maybe Tamara had already filled Heather’s head with things about Gretchen and when she met her thought “hey she’s cute” not some vile creature that you described.
Now I DO think that Tamara was jealous when Gretchen was added to the cast because off looks alone she was no longer the “hottest housewife”.
Slade’s angle is not where I thought he was going. I just thought he was going to say well since she is older that’s how she’s going to look at you. As a cute young woman.
Me thinks that Tubba Wubba just doesn’t really like women in general.
Vicki…ugh…must we go through this again? You do drink. A lot.
How do you fill a lovetank without PDA? She is exhausting.
Good lord, Gretchen sans makeup was one scary sight. She might be up there with Truffles in the worst skin department.
I’m actually not hating Tamara so far. I think not being jealous and bitter towards Gretchen is doing her favors. I can’t stand angry, jealous, petty women( Hi Kyle Richards!!)
As far as Heather, meh.. I read that her and Terry have a combined net worth of $12 million(true?) Now I know that’s not chump change, but with the way everybody says she’s wealthy, I thought they’d have more money than Vanderpump or Maloof.
Heather’s husband reminds me Joey Slotnik that played Dr. Merrill Bobolit on Nip/Tuck.
I think Eddie has figured out he can get younger hotter women especially after last season in which he was a big sweetie. Tamara is and always will be a white trash girl. Slade don’t even get me started. He just wants to be on TV. Did anyone else think from the back and side that Brooks looks like Don? HHHHMMMM! I don’t even want to discuss Alexis. I have never liked her!!
@thisbuggs4u that was me talking about the non-stop filming. It would also explain Peggy’s terrible dress, not only two episodes in a row, but two seasons back to back. I feel like they just had a set change and stated filming. AND, if you think about it summer was just ending…as Vicki said it was during her Cajun themed party (which I liked too) so, yea. I basically think they didn’t stop filming and went right into the next season.
Um Honey Gansta, in two short re-caps you have won my heart! Thanks for the shout out and the Gem pic-priceless. Thanks again for the hilarious and concise recap!
Gretchen is a butta face. Yea I said it.
I don’t have anything monogrammed, I am SO MIDDLE CLASS! LOLOLOLOLOL!
Another great recap!! Thank you!
Gretchen – wow, there was a time that sans makeup worked on her, but now…. Here’s the roller paint brush and the foundation – two coats, please! Damn, what happened to her skin?
Look, I have my food dislikes too, but I am sooooo fucking tired of watching these dumb heiffas ruin every scene in a restaurant with their trailer park stupidity and rudeness. I guess Vicki should have poured the food in martini glasses and told them it was a new drink. The idiots would have gone to town on that. And really, Alexis and Gretchen? You suck gross appendages on a regular basis – at least these taste good.
Peggy – buh bye. This is only time I am on Team JesusBarbie and I am pissed off about it. But Alexis was right – ya had months to talk about this. Why when the cameras are on and you had a few, you want to talk? Go do your sketelor impressions someplace else.
the Vicki/eddie/tamra/brooks Catalina clusterfuck. First of all…Vicki? Please! Girl, ya drink…a lot! you do shots, down martinis, beer bongs, wine by the bottle. Please stop with the ingenue act. Second, Tamra…Eddie is about the best you are going to do in the younger man department. Why fuck it up with yet another soon to be patented move from your Desperate for Attention playbook?
Seriously, no one other than Vicki thinks she’s a MILF, so why the worry? And no more grooming Eddie – gross! It is sad two old slappers trying to be giggly 22 year olds.
Heather, you can’t fit a baby in that house? I fit 22 people in my house for thanksgiving dinner and we live in a modest colonial. I would give you my tiny violin, but then you would have to buy land to fit it in. Blurgh!!
@LAC as much as I DON’T like these ladies. I think that crawfish is a tough food not to comment on. It seems all went well with the gumbo, sans Tamara but she white trash so excuse her. But when you put crawfish in someone’s face that’s never had it before is a bit shocking. Then you are asking me to suck the head and I get nothing in return…I think not.
@LAC, I am hooting and hollering over that comment! Thank you for the laugh!
Dammit! I keep forgetting to mention the Peggy – Alexis argument. Finally someone is smart enough to not engage in an argument that will get out of hand b/c alcohol was involved. Obviously Peggy had had quite enough to drink because she was really emotional over something that was not as serious as she made it out to be. If the wanted to be friends with Alexis why not make a nice remark across the table. Try to open communication that way rather than run after me when I am leaving and relieved that we all got through a dinner party without pulling hair.
Something is up with those limos in Cali…people always want to have serious conversations when they are in them.
classy, I do see your point. I am just a bit of a foodie and am game to try things. They are just so fucking rude about it. And classy, you are right! When you suck, you should always get something in return – a nice piece of jewelry, for example.
Gypsy –
Regardless of what these bible beating dimwhits are doing it’s SO nice to focus on the trivial minutia on whether to suck or not to suck on a crawfish rather than debate if someone Hulked out on three adults and a dog near a pool. Welcome back you OC idiots!
And for the commentor above $12mil is BIG money in the OC these days so relatively speaking Heather is a Maloof/VanderPump of the gated communites in the OC. I think we got spoiled with the RHOBH uber rich chicks.
Also, I always love to see who’s got what on celebritynetworth.com. Speaking of Sherayray “only” has $250K That’s not even half a Maybach. Dumb bitch.
Holy RH cross over comment. Sorry
LAC…isn’t it joorey
I tried a crawfish once at a buffet. I must have squeezed it in the wrong place because it’s pincers moved. It startled me so I flung that sucker across the restaurant. It was a reflex!
Rodel’s son looked up at me and Rodel said “What the hell…”
Then we all started laughed and laughed. We’re weird like that.
Who thought we would be having oral discussions so early in the morning? LAC you are assuming Alexi and Gretchen do that. I can see Alexis doing it for Jesus, but the way Gretchen treats Slade, no way is she giving him anything but a straight lay complaining that the ceiling needs painting.
sheesh! LOL!! I spelled it wrong. You have been making me laugh all week with your comments. That must have been a shock.
labowner – moi, oral comments? (Putting on my dumb Alexis face) I was merely pointing out that you could find jewelry in seafood. I mean, don’t oysters have pearls in them? duhhhh….
Gretchen is always claiming that she is great in bed – the whole package, as she put it. But I could see her withholding that part until Slade cleans the bathroom.
I meant that the incident with the crayfish must have been a shock, not you making me laugh all week.
From season to season at least one or more housewives get SOMEthing done to their face or body to “improve” upon their wondrous beautay! Vicki must have missed that memo, she looks like she has slept on a gavel filled pillow and is all puffy…c’mon Vix, how you gonna compete with all these HOT housewives??
Thanks for recapping HG! I look forward to these every week.
*gravel, derp!
Yanksfan it could have been on of those gavels that you use to tenderize meat. Same concept on that face of hers. Pock marked to hell. Someone lost their fight with acne.
Yes LAC those are oysters that have pearls. I don’t remember anything coming from a crayfish. Probably why they didn’t partake. As the Radiators sang – bite the head, squeeze the tip.
Heather is the kinda girl whose mommy told her that once the man of her dreams makes a “monetary commitment” to her she no longer has to perform oral acts of satisfaction. That’ what his receptionist is for.
Gretchen, I can see with holding oral action until the chores are done but, I think her ace in the hole is whether she’s going to spit or swallow.
Tamra…please.
Alexis, I’m sure has not choice and therefore counts it’s as a wifely duty.
I don’t ever want to think about Vicki doing that ever again.
EVER.
@Gypsy “Tamra…please.” BWAHAHAHAA – that sums her up.
I can’t….you guys…. efn’ing labowner (all I can think when I see you post now is METH)
Lost her battle with acne? I hope she write s abook: “Hiding from Acne” to help the 100 woman a month who also lose their battle with acne. Too much!
Sorry Gypsy. LABIA COCK LABIA COCK LABIA COCK LABIA COCK.
Anything has to be better than thinking about any of these women giving head. I see Tamara doing it to show off. Heather has never once put that thing anywhere near her face let alone touch it. Anyone see the Ta1/2M episode with the French chick who Charlie allows Allan to have and then she just literally lays there in bed looking away. I see Heather doing that. I assume the babies came from her one of her allowances of sex on either a holiday, birthday and/or anniversary. I think Lisa would cut down Heather in a London minute. Heather stick out of ass.
OMFG! STOP IT! I drank a LOT of iced tea today, hahahahahahahahahaha! I would pay good money to see Lisa and Heather in the octagon!
OMG you guys have me laughing until I’m wheezing like Muttley. My co-workers are starting to worry. I fell asleep before the big Catalina blow out so I’ll have to catch up this week. I think it was Pawn Preacher’s responsibility to tell Alexis about his time with Peggy. It would’ve been nice if she’d mentioned it but I think he’s obligated to as her husband. All of Heather’s talk about money was making me ill. I wouldn’t feel a bit sorry if these people were to ever have (real) money problems. How can she seriously say they don’t have room in that huge house, with the elevator that’s bigger than my kitchen, that they don’t have enough room for the baby? SERIOUSLY?? Get a grip bitch!
Heather said that when the custome built that house the 3 kids rooms all met in the middle with a large playroom. Baby 4 was a surprise to them, so “technically” they don’t have a room for her. But I call BS on that shit. You have a freaking movie theater in your home, along with a damn elevator. If you have the money, add on somewhere. Not take another 6 years to build a house. That kid will be 6 by the time you move in, by then you could have bunked her with some one else! I am sure those kids rooms are the size of our townhouse, so put the twins in the same room and stop bitching about how you don’t have enough room! We have 3 cats, and I feel like there isn’t enough room in our house! What the hell am I going to do if a Baby Z comes along?
What would Camille say about Heather talking about how much money she has?
Alison – that large playroom? Baby’s room!! TA-DAH!!
I loved your analysis of the building process. That child will be starting first grade by the time that house is finished.
Didn’t she say the movie theater was in a different building? Why not convert that into baby #4′s own personal chateau? And, oh yes, Camille would say it’s soooo tacky to talk about money. But, then they ARE new money.
Gypsy, I would be sorry, but you have made me laugh many times reading your comments. And for that I thank you.
My angle on the Heather inclusion. She wants to get back into acting and is obviously too old to waltz in to studios or call someone (she was not an A-lister) so this is how she is getting herself out there without having to schlep to auditions etc. I can’t for the life of me understand why she wants to hang out with these ghetto ladies. She has a NY attitude, she should be on that show. I believe she is about the same wealth as Ramona, LuAnn (does she have money or from the divorce?), Sonya etc.
I am guessing Boo-Jew means you don’t keep kosher or observe the High Holys. But to the plus you can have a yarmulkah toss on the Buddha!!
The initials on the floor is a “bit much” We do that here on Lawwnnn Guyland–but only at a catering hall– shout out to Jericho Terrace !!!
Thanks for the awesome recap! That was my passive-aggressive way of flipping you off for making me want to go and watch this horrible show for yet another season. I want to see Eddie give it to Tamra…and not in the eye-raping way we saw last season. I hate all of these women with a passion, but Tamra is the embodiment every dumb, catty bitch I’ve encountered in my life.
Tamra is the type of woman who cannot stand a harmonious atmosphere. If she’s not in some kind of conspiratorial secret relationship with someone in the room, she’ll start a fight with someone instead. I couldn’t believe she wasn’t freaking RELIEVED that for ONCE Vicki was getting along with a man instead of having a nervous breakdown over having to sit next to him. It made me think that all along Tamra was playing Simon and Vicki against each other. I thought Eddie overreacted too, but maybe “you put his hand on your boob” was the only way he could articulate his anger at her ruining everything.
–Peggy – I’m glad she’s gone. I think there’s something really wrong with her. She would always talk really dismissively about Alexis but then get emotional and run after her at parties. It was kind of obsessive.
@LAC “I guess Vicki should have poured the food in martini glasses and told them it was a new drink. The idiots would have gone to town on that” LLBA!!! Too funny and too true!!
Gretchen sans makeup makes my case for why makeup is dishonest. I always wonder what the men (or women) that sleep with them must think when they eventually see them without the makeup. As vain as Gretchen seems i am shocked that she allowed them to film her without makeup on.
Also, i’m from New Orleans and i have never in my lifetime heard of putting frito’s in gumbo.
@labowner – I agree with your take on Heather!!! Heather reminds me of alot of the Jewish girls I went to law school with: pushy, confident, alot of Moxy … She is never going to “mesh” with the other castmembers. She has to have a reason for signing on.
@Hlesczyn, agree 100%. Maybe she doth protest too much about all that money? It’s happened before…
Oh God, Putting a hand on your boob in the spirit of a joke could be funny but in poor taste. Just like Tamra! that’s how you describe her i’d say. But Eddie shouldn’t get SOO upset, he knew her. Heather’s bio says she’s aware of what her and her husband got and she doesn’t take it for granted… then we find out she’s a jew-boo and her way of being grateful is bragging to everyone what she has.
and did you all see how BAD gretchen looks without her make up!?
Holy crap that bitch should have NEVER caked it on, its sucking out her complexion, yuck! She’s the youngest too.
Once again Tamra shows us what trailer trash she is…In fact there is not one class act in this group. What a buch of hot messes! The real money is in B.H. Housewives and N.Y…these O.C.freaks are all trailer trash who marrried “up”, but basically don’t have the money of the other two shows…PS can Vicki get her face sandblasted? I can not stop looking at her teen pimple scars! She is ugly now ,but must have been a face full of pimples then
I think Vicki might be taking steroid medication for some condition. The bloating and pimples are so dramatic, and those are the side effects.
Donn!?!?!?! Didn’t see that coming, WTF? http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2012/02/vicki-gunvalson-ex-husband-sex-club-don-gulvalson
@Gypsy -Good for him! It’s nice to see that he realizes he deserves better than Vicky Gunvalson. Cheers to a step UP on the ladder!
Poor Donn is afflicted with prostate cancer. Vicki busted his balls one too many times.
http://absurdtosublime.net/2012/02/01/donn-gunvalson-reported-to-have-prostrate-cancer/