RHOC Recap: The Bunco Wars

Recaps

By Honey Gangsta | Thursday, March 15, 2012 | 8:00 pm | 40 Comments
Tagged: , , , ,
Posted in: Real Housewives of Orange County, Recaps

Previously on The Real Housewives of Orange County, Alexis learned that she needs to get her nose chiseled down in order to keep from suffocating.

So here we are at Bunco and everyone’s husbands and boyfriends have just walked in all dressed up in 80s gear.

“How could Tamra do this when she knows my printer broke?”

Vicki’s mad that Slade was invited after he just made fun of her in front of 300 people.  300?  It was on TV, Vic.  Count again.  And Alexis is mad that Jim wasn’t invited.  She assumes it’s because Tamra wants to hurt her.  I assume it’s because Jim went out of his way to announce that he was done hanging out with all these losers and wouldn’t be attending anymore of their stupid parties.

When Slade hears that Gay Bestie was getting his panties in a bunch about the Improv show, you can see the joy flood over his face as he senses his opportunity to dive headlong into a fight.

“Bring it on. I have a new life calling. Being funny.”

He summons Gay Bestie and informs him that “It’s comedy.  If you don’t like it then don’t come to the show.”  Gay Bestie goes, “I DIDN’T go to the show.”  Which cracks me up, but gets lost in Hurricane Vicki, who wants to know how insulting people could possibly be funny.  Hmm, she must not frequent TVgasm.  Slade condescendingly tells the room that the show was indeed very funny, so Vicki gathers her things and says she has more important things to do, like go and be with her daughter.  She drives home for a long overdue heart-to-heart with Briana.  Oh wait, no she doesn’t.  She just steps outside the restaurant, seethes, and walks right back in.  Somehow what happens next is that Slade kind of falls by the wayside and Vicki and Gretchen scream it out.  Vicki says it’s cruel to make fun of her looks.  Gretchen says it’s just as cruel to call Slade a deadbeat dad.  Vicki screams that she’s a mother and has no respect for men who don’t pay child support.  Gretchen screams then why is she dating Brooks.

“At least MY boyfriend had the good sense to outrun the cops!”

Vicki screams that Brooks is all caught up.  HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!  Better find a new soapbox, Vicki.  Her head almost pops off as she screams at Gretchen that she’s not a mother and doesn’t understand.

“How dare you? Brooks is old and can’t run fast!”

Alexis covers her ears, because bruised eardrums might obstruct her airways.  Vicki keeps acting like she’s leaving, but can’t resist screaming responses when Gretchen says she has a double standard.  Tamra finally ushers Vicki outside, Gretchen bursts into tears, and Slade laughs gleefully.  Douche.  On top of everything else, he lets Gretchen fight his battles while he’s right there.

While Vicki foams at the mouth, Tamra tells her that she’s chosen to remove herself from this and so should Vicki because honestly Slade isn’t worth it, which is totally true.  When he’s sitting there explaining to everyone that his comedy was funny, you know there’s a problem.  He just stood on stage embarrassing himself, so what’s the point in screaming about it now?

“Seriously, though, Vicki. What’s up with Brooks?”

Vicki tells Tamra that it’s okay that Brooks WENT TO JAIL for not paying child support because “everyone gets behind.”  LOL and congrats, Vicki.  You’re dating Old Slade.  When will he be moving in and taking his manager’s cut?

Back inside, Heather has been presiding over the proceedings like a den mother.  She scoffs to us that she can’t believe she’s being called upon to endure such barbarism – on a school night, nonetheless.  Then she gets comfortable to watch what will happen next.  And what happens next may be the most shocking thing of all.  Tamra eats carbs.  In the form of a baby churro.

Seconds before Tamra realizes that’s not a skinless boneless chicken breast.

Tamra tells Heather’s plastic surgeon husband that she wants a boob reduction.  Huh?  Are the saline bags adding water weight?  Gretchen mentions that Alexis is going in for surgery next week to get her nose fixed because her sinuses are blocked.  Tamra snorts that a lot of people use that excuse to get a nose job.  Terry chimes in and says that sinuses are under your cheeks and have nothing to do with your nose.  This tickles Tamra and they high five.  Well!  Alexis has heard every word of this from her table and it’s time for a lecture.  She gives a speech about knowing exactly where her sinuses are and that she’s ONLY getting her beak carved down because she’ll be asleep anyway.  Furthermore, Terry should mind his own patients and leave her alone.

“Did we sign up for an idiot symposium?”

Heather tells Alexis that Terry had no idea they were talking about Alexis because 1) Gretchen referred to her as Lex, and 2) Terry just met these people and has no clue about their surgical habits or nicknames.  Not good enough!  Alexis instructs Terry that he shouldn’t be making fun of ANYONE like that, whether it’s her or some hypothetical woman desperately needing corrective surgery.  What’s interesting here is that all Terry has done is point out where sinuses reside.  But Alexis is on a roll and continues her discourse.

“My otolaryngologist has recommended that I have my osseocartilaginous framework reconfigured. And it’s none of your business.”

Tamra finally interrupts her and says that her nose is big and if she’s getting it fixed she should just own it.  Alexis is really pissed because she would never DREAM of getting her “bump fixed” if she didn’t have this other serious medical problem as well.  Everyone in the room and watching this has SO lost interest by now in the whys and wherefores of Alexis’s stupid nose job.  They try to tell her as much, but Alexis insists that she HEARD their conversation.  She knows when she’s being attacked.  Heather comes and stands over Alexis like a mom talking to an errant toddler and very clearly states that no one was making fun of her.  Suddenly Alexis is calm and says that Heather is the only one irritated.  I think that’s just Heather’s natural demeanor.  And for the record, now I’M irritated.

Next item of business is for Alexis to scold Gretchen for not standing up for her.  Gretchen should totally have laid the smack down on Terry for saying that sinuses are under your cheeks.  Gretchen is trying to be friends with Tamra now, so she doesn’t want to stop her from laughing at Alexis. Alexis’s harangue becomes a laundry list of her sinus troubles and she must be on a loop because she keeps insisting that she ALWAYS defends Gretchen and deserves the same in return.  Like how earlier in the evening when Vicki was screaming at Gretchen and Alexis sat there silently with her fingers in her ears.  Can’t Gretchen do as much for her?

Heather and Terry complete their evening out with a haughty conversation about Alexis needing a brain lift and an IQ test.  They’re not wrong, but I wish they’d just go home to Billionaire’s Row.

Aww, Briana and Donn are having a beer and discussing life.  Poor Briana isn’t sure where her loyalty should lie, even though it’s pretty clear she’s on Donn’s side.  They discuss her upcoming surgery to have tumors and lymph nodes removed.  She tells us she’d rather talk to Donn about it because Vicki just shakes her head and freaks out.  Donn manages to not take Briana’s illness as a personal affront.

“And this is how I almost strangled your mother.”

Elsewhere Gretchen and Slade are driving somewhere and Gretchen is reading text messages she’s received from Vicki berating her for insulting Brooks.  Only Vicki gets to insult other people’s boyfriends.  It’s not fair to do it back to her because she’s having a hard time right now.

In Alexis’s random weekly mini-scene, she tries on a couple of new gross Alexis Couture dresses for Jim.  My eyes!  This sort of assault on my eyeballs could quite possibly hinder my ability to breathe and force me to get a nose job.

Mommy Daughter Couture. Bringing tacky ho gear to the young masses.

Tamra stops by the insurance office to bring lunch to Vicki in a plastic cup.  She’s here to make sure that everyone is over the Bunco party incident.  Vicki explains again that it’s completely different for Brooks to go to jail for not paying child support because he feels really bad about it.  Or something.  Also, Tamra shouldn’t be friends with Gretchen.  AND Vicki’s having a really hard time right now, so everyone should really be sending her flowers and cleaning her house.  Not saying she looks like Miss Piggy.  Don’t they know Briana’s getting surgery?  Where’s the support?

“Not this week, Tamra. NOT THIS WEEK.”

Speaking of surgery, Alexis is arriving for her sinus reparation.  She’s not wearing makeup and is barely recognizable.  Dr. Boobies explains how the surgery is going to go and Alexis is very relieved to learn that her nose won’t actually be removed.  But it’s still gonna hurt, so she sobs to Jim that she’s terrified to wake up in pain.  But she has to go through with it, I mean it’s not like this surgery is optional.  It’s a medical emergency because if you can’t breathe you die.  Jim says a prayer for the cameras to help Alexis come out of her surgery better arm candy.  They walk Alexis into the OR and she has one final breakdown on the operating table before they mercifully knock her out with anastasia.

“What if I wake up in the middle of it and I see my nose in your hand?”

Guess who else is getting ready for surgery.  Briana!  She’s having her thyroid and lymph nodes removed to see if her recurring tumors are cancer.  Instead of hysterical fits about possible pain, Briana is remarkably calm.  But Vicki has lost her mind, telling us there’s a strong chance that Briana has cancer and asking Briana if she wants to bring along her g-strings to the hospital.  Why didn’t she help Alexis pack?

“Should I grab your hot rollers and nail polish?”

On the drive to the hospital Vicki goes on and on about how miserable she is because this surgery business is causing her to worry about Briana.  Briana begs Vicki to calm down, but Vicki uses the same line on Briana that she used on Gretchen – she’s not a mother so she can’t possibly understand what Vicki is going through.  Yes Vicki, the person going into surgery can’t possibly understand the terrible position you are in having to worry about her.  Then Vicki asks Briana – minutes from the hospital – if this isn’t something that can be handled holistically.  Like with HERBS! Couldn’t Briana have called a cab?  Surely this car ride is worse than any surgery.

Next week!  Dr. Boobies breaks Alexis’s nose and Vicki continues her rough patch.  She’s having such a hard go of it, you guys!  Oh Briana gets her surgery too, but that’s only important because it makes Vicki nervous.

So whose side are you on?  Gretchen or Vicki?  Or Alexis?  Or is everyone just awful?

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-Honey Gangsta

Late one afternoon in 2005, Honey Gangsta received an invite to join a two person blog set up by her former roommate who had recently ditched LA (California knows how to party) for the bright lights of NYC (these streets will make you feel brand new, the lights will inspire you). The purpose of the blog was to continue their nightly ritual of ripping on reality TV, which could no longer be done in person. Since Honey Gangsta was still watching 18 hours of TV a day and had nothing else to do, she agreed. 10,000 hits later, HG was inspired to submit a Bachelor recap to TVgasm - no one was reporting on Officer Mayo and his time traveling DeLorean - and the rest is history. It's been said that she writes what you're thinking. It's been said she is a genius - a Blogger Laureate of her time. It's also been said that the earth is flat and no one landed on the moon, so you just never know. With her keen observations, and colorful commentary, Honey Gangsta is beloved the world over.

40 Comments

  1. 1
    Angela
    Posted March 15, 2012 at 8:38 pm

    I pretty much despise all of these broads, but wtf Vicki? I could not discern one single logical reason why she wasn’t a hypocrite in the whole deadbeat dad situation – other than her complete rewrite of the definition of hypocrite. The mind boggles.

    And while I am certainly ashamed to know this, Billy Ray Cyrus is from the 90s. Total fail on the 80s theme Slade.

  2. 2
    maryedith
    Posted March 15, 2012 at 9:25 pm

    @Angela, I do believe this is Vicki’s jaw-dropping logic on why she’s not a hypocrite: Brookes ALLOWED HIMSELF to be jailed for his nonpayment of child support and therefore did not GET OUT OF paying it. He served his time and then got caught up on the payments. Vicki seems to think that Slade doesn’t work ON PURPOSE solely to avoid paying his child support. With Vicki logic one can see that Slade is indeed more hypocritical than Brookes because Slade pretends not to be able to pay his child support (by not working) while Brookes actually couldn’t pay his (and so went to jail). And if this logic doesn’t work for you, I can scream it for you really loud. But don’t say anything back because my daughter might have cancer, ok?

  3. 3
    maryedith
    Posted March 15, 2012 at 9:28 pm

    And I still think Vicki is on some kind of steroid treatment.

  4. 4
    Robin Robinez
    Posted March 15, 2012 at 10:04 pm

    I also cracked up when Gay Beastie said he wasn’t there after he told people all around him what happened while he wasn’t there. Jerk. Off.

    I was kind of wierded out when Jim kept saying “That is so sexy” while his daughters were modeling clothing too. He is so UGH!

    I am not going to even go there as it deals with Brianna. I have never wanted to grab someone on this show as much as I wanted to grab Vicki. By the scruff of her neck. Vicki was a total cunt on the ride to the hospital. Brianna deserved a more comforting trip. She also deserved privacy.

    AS A MOTHER!~!!!!! Ya know, the Mother she screamed about to Gretchen, should have made sure her kid was comfortable. That trip looked so sad to me. It wasn’t comfortable. Vicki sucks.

  5. 5
    realhousewivesfan
    Posted March 15, 2012 at 10:17 pm

    Vicki’s a hypocrite that’s the truth.. she seems specially MORE vicki this season.. im ready for her to retire the show! Iv endured 7 seasons of her.. I like Tamara this season.. OH GOD can’t believe it.. she’s pulling a Camille. Lets hope it lasts!! Gretchen is chill i like her.. Alexsis is funny i actually enjoy mocking her… i’m still on the fence as to whether Heather entertains me, she doesn’t belong there. that’s the sense i’m getting.
    I’v realized this season of OC and ATLANTA has the girls getting together more and that dynamic causes sparks! i love it.
    the last few seasons they really HADN’T been getting together AS often.

  6. 6
    2muchbravo
    Posted March 15, 2012 at 10:35 pm

    Geees, I don’t even has HiDef and Vicki’s face looked HORRIBLE! It was nice to see the interaction between Donn and Brianna. I really hope her surgery comes out OK.

  7. 7
    maryedith
    Posted March 15, 2012 at 10:40 pm

    I assume that if it didn’t there would have been a news item about it. Apparently everyone (except me) already knows that she eloped toward the end of the season.

  8. 8
    Robin Robinez
    Posted March 15, 2012 at 11:03 pm

    Maryedith! I just picked this up. Late to the Ball.

    http://deathby1000papercuts.com/2012/03/vicki-gunvalsons-daughter-briana-cancer-scare-update-on-brianas-health/

    Can you believe she is up playing her daughters illness while her daughter is trying to down play it? Yeah, me too. I fear for the boy child once Briana recovers..

  9. 9
    MrsMiaWallace
    Posted March 15, 2012 at 11:03 pm

    The teaser for next week alluded to cancer and drama so I googled Brianna because I genuinely like her and am worried, and all I found was references to a “cancer scare” so I’m thinking she came out of it ok. She really is awesome and the editing of juxtaposing her calm and rational demeanor with Alexis’ insane “they’re going to remove my nose from my face” panic was genius.

    Seeing Donn and Brianna together was nice. I have always liked him even though I know there are two sides to every story.

    I have flip flopped on Vicki so often but she is horrendous. Her pattern of self involvement is revolting and while I appreciate the explanation Maryedith, and agree that Slade is a nonworking pile of sludge its just too funny and perfect that Vicki ended up with someone with support issues.

    What does Gretchen see in him!?!? Is she so scarred from being called a gold digging Anna Nicole type with Jeff that she is sticking this out on principle? Even Slade’s mother thinks he’s a joke! I hope she makes him sleep on the floor next to her bed.

    @maryedith- again, thanks for the breakdown. I get that Slade (and probably Brooks) was at one point making bank and had his support assessed based on that level of ability to earn and now there’s no way for him to meet those payments. That happens easily in a commission based job during especially during a market downturn. So, if Slade gets a job then every penny will go to back support? What keeps him out of jail all this time? How and when could he have his payments reduced or reassessed to reflect his change in circumstance? Missing child support is not as cut and dried as a guy being a pure asshole so I wouldn’t call either Brooks or Slade despicable from that alone but Slade IS a lazy stupid asshole so I figure that bleeds into his ability to be a father as well. He was a cocky stupid wasteful asshole on the first season and has only gone downhill. Oh and he’s not funny. I don’t’ know what Jo is up to these days-could be giving hand jobs for crack and I bet she thanks god every day that she didn’t marry Slade. Then she’d be giving hand jobs for his support payments!

  10. 10
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted March 16, 2012 at 4:24 am

    Vicki is a slut pig. NOT Miss Piggy.

  11. 11
    NotWithoutMyTV NotWithoutMyTV
    Posted March 16, 2012 at 7:47 am

    I’d just like to remind Don that a contract killing is a much faster, cleaner, and more final way to end a marriage than a divorce. Even if he hired a pro, the cost would be about the same as a divorce. And right now, I bet Gretchen might even help him defray the cost.

  12. 12
    cloudsinmycoffee
    Posted March 16, 2012 at 8:09 am

    Vicki’s an asshole.

    I’m a mother, and watching how she made this about her, COMPLETELY about her in that car ride to the hospital made me want to leap through the screen and shake the shit out of her. For as calm as Briana was, her fear was still palpable and the person she needed the most was absent. She moved back in with her mother when Vicki announced her intention to divorce Donn, you would think that at the very least she would be able to be there for her child. She’s an awful fucking person. It broke my heart to watch Briana just sigh defeatedly and console her mother about possibly having cancer.

    Ass.

    As for Slade, he’s a total waste of skin. I actually like Gretchen, but do know she’s that girl in the shitty relationship who doesn’t see it. He’s such a fucking mooch it makes me ill. BUT Vicki is an asshole 2x over because she’s making him look good by actually dating a man who’s been imprisoned for non-payment. You don’t ELECT to go to prison because you’ve fallen behind, that makes NO sense. If you’re in prison you can’t work and earn the money to pay off your debt. Why the hell would anyone elect to go to jail? She’s such an ass.

    Heather is that trashy chick who got lucky and bagged a rich man, and now she wants to act as if she was actually born with those cheekbones that are so high they’re a part of her forehead. Girl please. You fucked your way into a rich neighborhood, stop acting as if you’re an Astor or a Rockefeller. That you ain’t.

    Alexis is just a moron. Bless her little brained heart.

  13. 13
    maryedith
    Posted March 16, 2012 at 8:09 am

    I did not really mean to defend Vicki’s logic! I was just trying to figure it out. What gets my goat about her is that everything is personal feeling dressed up as principles. The fact is that if she were prettier, younger, or more glamorous Slade would have been nicer to her all along. This show is supposed to be about “Housewives” and Slade comes in and makes all the Housewives feel old and boring because he’s only interested in younger women. It’s not fair for Gretchen to refer to him as “my boyfriend” in her argument with Vicki because the whole problem is that Vicki has known Slade for way longer than he’s been “Gretchen’s boyfriend.” Vicki’s problem with Slade is that he’s an immature, nasty little slimeball who WON’T GO AWAY and makes her feel old and ugly just by being in the room. And I totally sympathize with that! But she dresses it up in “He doesn’t pay child support.” So Vicki is the bigger hypocrite.

  14. 14
    maryedith
    Posted March 16, 2012 at 8:11 am

    @Robinez, thanks for the link!

  15. 15
    hlesczyn
    Posted March 16, 2012 at 9:24 am

    I often woder if Vicki ever wishes she never got involved with all of this or could go back seven ? seasons ago and go on a different path to when she was woo hoo Vicki, the Vicki who drank beer on her “moderate” boat, flashed her son’s friends and got down at the lake. She might have been bonkers but she seemed to be having fun!

    SHE CHANGED.

    Whethere the camaras contributed or not, Vicki is a different person. She looked at Tamara, and without realizing that Tamara was in a completely different stage in her life and marriage (she was young woman with toddlers), wanted Donn to be Simon. Mistake. Then she looked at Laurie, and without realizing that Laurie and her millionaire fiance were a big combined mess, wanted Laurie’s diamonds – so she said things like “I Vicki renew my love to Donn with thie 2.7 carrot brilliant cut – diamond/platinum ring.” Mistake. Then she wanted to let everyone know she was better than Gina so she announced to the world that Gina asked (privately) to borrow money. Mistake. UGH just UGH.

    I am not articulating this well – but 2012 Vicki is just so sad and I wonder if deep down, when the camaras are off does she just cry for this all to never have happened?

  16. 16
    hlesczyn
    Posted March 16, 2012 at 9:30 am

    AGREED

  17. 17
    LAC LAC
    Posted March 16, 2012 at 9:42 am

    Know who I like? Honey G , it is you, love!! Thank you for recapping this crap!

    Vicki – What a fucking cooze… all about you, isn’t it? Slade is slimey times 10, but you are a such a hypocrite. And people were supposed to shut Gretchen done for YOU??? Are you fucking high?You are not queen bee anymore, no matter how long you hang your deputy droopy face on this show. Gretchen gave it right back to you and you deserve it. You know what would help Brianna at this time? You shutting up your trap and stop the endless ME show. BTW, I didn’t know someone else’s lymph nodes could be used as a shield. Be sure to have them put them in a glass jar so that you can wave them in the face of those that dare to oppose you or print things out in the wrong machine.

    Alexis – It is like listening to Vicki if she had a total lobotomy. Nothing funnier than watching her get angry and try to get all those words out of her mouth in some semblance of order. And those “couture” dresses? Who is buying this crap?

    Gretchen – I will give her props for having the balls to give Vicki it back. But it was in defense of Slade, which is a big minus.

    Heather – yeah, the sinus comment by Terry was funny, but let’s dial down the lady of the manor shit. You are hardly a member of mensa.

    Tamra – omg, you ate a carb!!! AAAAAK!! Seriously, a real friend would sit down with Vicki and a dictionary and look up the word “hypocrite”

    It was nice to see Donn and I am glad that Brianna has someone to talk with who can keep from twitching.

  18. 18
    NotWithoutMyTV NotWithoutMyTV
    Posted March 16, 2012 at 9:44 am

    Truffle Hunter needs the drama. And once you’ve tasted televised reality drama, you can’t go back to just making drama out of a sleepy little real estate business and a recalcitrant printer. If she wasn’t a drama junkie, she’d state that “she’s done”, and she’d LEAVE THE PARTY and STAY GONE.

  19. 19
    maryedith
    Posted March 16, 2012 at 9:51 am

    Did I miss something about Laurie and the millionaire? Are they “a mess”?

  20. 20
    labowner
    Posted March 16, 2012 at 10:05 am

    Not to down play Brianna’s issue, but the woman is a nurse and I would hope she has some composure. Plus, when she has to deal with Vicki freaking out, her freaking out would probably make Vicki Russell herself. No shortage of issues why the girl eloped as a wedding would have been all about Vicki.

    I understand Alexis’ as well, I was freaking out about my second surgery because I remember how painful the first one was. My crying came after when they were attempting to put on a cast. Cried like a baby and the doctor was none to happy with me.

    Regarding Slade, for all we know he slips the ex money under the table. Finally he got his child support payments reduced. Let’s be clear it takes two to make babies so I am not sure why the men are suddenly responsible while mommy just wants to sit on her ass and collect funds. There are a lot worse dads/fathers out there than Slade or Brooks.

    Honey thanks for another great recap.

  21. 21
    caligal
    Posted March 16, 2012 at 10:08 am

    I can’t find any links, but here is the rumor going around…right after Vickie went public with their relationship, Brooks went to jail. His child support was mysteriously paid and he was released. Some think that Vickie paid it to save face after all of the bitching and talking she has done about Slade. Brooks lives in Mississippi, so the laws may be different, but it is still interesting that Brooks was in jail, able to get the back child support paid, and released, all about the time he started dating Vickie publicly.

    I do believe there is a picture of Alexis next to the definition of the word “dumb”.

    I don’t really think Heather is putting on airs. She is a graduate of Syracuse and from what I can find, her family is well off. I do think she lucked into meeting Terry on a blind date. But I do enjoy her “above all this shit” attitude when people act the way Vickie does, in public no less. Woman is losing her marbles.

  22. 22
    S-Natch S-Natch
    Posted March 16, 2012 at 10:20 am

    Preach it, Clouds! Word.

  23. 23
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted March 16, 2012 at 11:18 am

    I do love that Vicki said she was done and ran out and since no one ran after her she had to go back in. That was classic. Good thing I am not Gretchen because the first words I would have had for Vicki when she walked back in was “oh so since no one ran after you you came back in for some more?”

    Gretchen does not know how to pronounce “TH”. She said “sunting” instead of “something” probably 500 times.

    I thought the first dress Alexis put on was actually decent. Much better than the Rave style dresses she had in the last season.

    I think people see themselves on the show and then try to over compensate the next season. I.e Alexis using a bunch of words that she doesn’t know.

  24. 24
    LAC LAC
    Posted March 16, 2012 at 12:06 pm

    Classy – You and me both. Really, bitch, we saw you leave the first time. Wasn’t looking for an encore. Did she think the place was going to close and lights go out since the STAH left? Who is she, Liza Minelli?

  25. 25
    labowner
    Posted March 16, 2012 at 12:14 pm

    Maybe we need a drunken Kim to supply running commentary on Vicki since she nailed Taylor.

  26. 26
    sardini
    Posted March 16, 2012 at 12:20 pm

    Labowner, there is a difference between making kids and raising kids. If the children are living with one parent, they take the brunt of day to day child rearing. This includes driving them everywhere, helping with homework, putting up with tantrums and attitudes, paying for field trips, doctor visits, attending soccer games and dance rehearsals, parent teacher conferences, birthday parties, school projects ETC. And each time the kid has a doctor’s appointment or signs up for art class, gues what? IT COSTS MONEY!! So in addition to dedicating every spare moment to kids, you’re also shelling out money left and right, which calls for monetary support. I would hardly call that sitting back!

  27. 27
    Danielle
    Posted March 16, 2012 at 12:22 pm

    Ugh, I hating reading recaps sometimes…because I didn’t know that, either!

  28. 28
    NotWithoutMyTV NotWithoutMyTV
    Posted March 16, 2012 at 12:38 pm

    Solution: Don’t have unprotected sex with douchebags that you know (or highly suspect) are no good.

  29. 29
    NotWithoutMyTV NotWithoutMyTV
    Posted March 16, 2012 at 12:39 pm

    And if know or highly suspect but aren’t willing to admit it to yourself, that still counts as knowing.

  30. 30
    sardini
    Posted March 16, 2012 at 12:48 pm

    But regardless, there should be monetary support from the second half of the baby making mistake.

  31. 31
    labowner
    Posted March 16, 2012 at 12:50 pm

    Sardini did you miss all the crap Huggies took for downplaying the role dads now play in their kids lives? 33% are the main care taker. There are a ton of dead beat moms, but we always hear an excuse about their situation, but dads are always horrible and evil.

  32. 32
    Yanksfan24
    Posted March 16, 2012 at 2:01 pm

    Not sure if this was mentioned but I think the reason that Alexis is harping about her sinuses and allergies and snot and medicine etc etc is because if a nose job has an actual medical necessity then at least a portion of it/if not all could be covered by insurance. Since her and Jim are always hustling and seems to have had some money issues in the past they must think “Hey I can get a free nose job!” Of course it is highly doubtful that Alexis figured that out on her own but she does work with plastic surgeons so one of them may have put that idea in her head.

    And if the ONLY reason Alexis really got that nose job was due to her sinuses then she wouldn’t have protested and squawked so much about it.

    For the record, I kind of liked Alexis’ white dress.

    And Vicki is the world’s worst human being…just gross!

  33. 33
    JimmyT JimmyT
    Posted March 16, 2012 at 4:44 pm

    I think that TruffleHunter was just stressed out because she thought she was going to a Harry Potter party not an 80s party:

    http://images.wikia.com/harrypotter/images/2/2d/Petercasadelosgritso.jpg

  34. 34
    hot cawfee
    Posted March 16, 2012 at 5:04 pm

    I love Terry– new fave–hate Slade (and always have since he was with Jo). Salde is just a fame whore– why isnt he leeching off a Kardashian??

  35. 35
    Buffy
    Posted March 16, 2012 at 10:50 pm

    HAHAHAHA!
    Bitches is crazy yo!

  36. 36
    Buffy
    Posted March 16, 2012 at 10:55 pm

    @maryedith, i got the joke and i love you for it.

  37. 37
    Buffy
    Posted March 16, 2012 at 11:14 pm

    @hlesczyn You articulated that great actually. I felt like once Tamra was getting divorced that suddenly Vicki needed a divorce too. Maybe that was just the way they edited it, but maybe not. I hadn’t realized all the other stuff until you pointed it out, and it’s true.

    Also, i know i’m supposed to hate Slade, but i don’t. I can’t bring myself to care either way, but other than the child support thing i don’t get the Slade hate.
    All the other ladies are shits that just talk shit about each other to everyone except the shit they hacve a problem with. Slade is a shit that talks shit to their faces. honestly i don’t really think Slade would care enough to talk about them if they weren’t all attacking him like he’s The Fuhrer. What the hell did Slade ever do to any of them? Isn’t it a little sexist of us to constantly berate this dude for being unemployed? Jesus, this show is called the Real HOUSEWIVES, and most of these B’s income is from being on the show or their lame ass jewelry or dress lines. Nobody said shit about Jo not working when she was living with Slade and he was supporting her. What’s the difference?

    Also, @Honey G, you RULE. This recap is awesome!

  38. 38
    annie anniedawg25
    Posted March 18, 2012 at 12:44 pm

    Vicki, I can’t even say what hasn’t been said already: selfish, delusional, and very Droopy Dog-like.

    in regards to her stellar YOU ARE NOT A MOTHER! YOU ARE NOT A MOTHER argument towards Gretchen…is she high?
    It’s as if she was telling Grethchen “you couldn’t possibly understand what it’s like not not get child support, like I can understand it, beacase YOU ARE NOT A MOTHER”. huh? So I guess to hell with Brooks’ kids’ mother then, according to Vicki’s logic. Bascically, if it creates a hardship for Vicki, boo hoo no one can understand. If a baby mama of her current boyfriend has the same hardship…who cares, he’s all paid up!! sheesh.

    Also did anyone notice Alexis’ purple outlined lips while on the operating table? Loosk like homegirl got a horrible perma-lip liner tattoo somewhere along the line. EIther that, or Jim’s penis is purple.

  39. 39
    annie anniedawg25
    Posted March 18, 2012 at 5:28 pm

    awesome, LAC. Hillarious points!

  40. 40
    Rosemary's Baby
    Posted March 20, 2012 at 2:53 am

    Best line of the episode–Alexis: “I am an intelligent woman”.

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