In other news, somehow Heather has agreed to dine at one of Orange County’s many horrible restaurants. She and Terry meet up with Gretchen and Slade. Slade starts off by telling them what a good-looking couple they are.
“Well yes, obviously.”The Dubrows talk about the fact that they are Boo-Jews and tell about Heather’s Buddhist worry beads bracelet. Terry says that the point of the beads is to remind you not to worry about anything because we’ll all be dead soon anyway. That kind of philosophy sort of negates Terry’s whole career, wouldn’t you think? Speaking of which, I’ve forgotten what Terry does. I wish he’d remind me. Then Gretchen tells about the record deal she’s working on (on what planet?) and how she wants to do something Broadway oriented. Wow, she’s deluded. Heather tells us she’s not sure Gretchen has a “Broadway voice.” Ya think? But she does congratulate Gretchen again on her Pussycat Dolls triumph. Also, wasn’t Slade trying to launch a musical career for Jo de la Rosa as well? Got any other tricks up that sleeve, Slade? Slade keeps jumping in and saying what a cute couple Heather and Terry are. What does he want from them? Is he going to offer to launch music careers for them too?
“Terry, I have a feeling you’re a dynamite tenor!” Heather brings up that she can’t figure Alexis out and Terry flat out says that she’s phony,which prompts Heather to cut off his alcoholic beverages.
The mini scene this week is Alexis meeting with a hang tag designer for Alexis Couture and leaving him every 10 seconds to give her daughter juice and change the TV channel. Sooo, she has an assistant to straighten her hair but not to fill sippy cups while she’s in a meeting?
We drop in on Tamra as she’s bringing towels and a vacuum to her son Ryan who has just moved into his own “big boy” apartment. In typical bachelor pad fashion, there is no furniture, but there is a 50 inch flat screen TV box lurking in the kitchen. Tamra tells us that Ryan and Simon hated each other, but of course Ryan and Eddie just adore each other. I remember when Simon got Ryan a job in the Mercedes parts warehouse and Ryan was all insulted because fetching parts was beneath him. Maybe Eddie can hook him up with CEO job that’s suitable to his talents. Tamra takes Ryan shopping for a couch on which he can watch his flat screen, but he can’t afford very much. Tamra wants to help him out by loaning him money, but Eddie advises against it when she calls him for advice. CEOs don’t borrow money from their mommies; they just buy cheap couches. See what a fantastic stepdad Eddie will be?
I hear Brooks is looking for an intern…Here we go! Vicki, Briana and (a different) Ryan are sitting down to dinner at a restaurant.
“Pleasure to meet you, Mom. I mean, MA’AM.” This is the guy Briana’s been dating that Vicki has never met. He’s just back from Afghanistan. Briana tells Vicki they have a bomb to drop on her and Vicki immediately starts twitching. She says she doesn’t like bombs. Briana says that with Ryan being in Afghanistan and her having surgery they’ve realized life is short, they want to be spontaneous, and they know what they want. SO! A couple of days ago they drove to Vegas, went to a drive-through wedding chapel and GOT MARRIED! Wow, they didn’t even get out of the car! How romantic. Briana explains that she didn’t tell Vicki beforehand because she knew Vicki would freak out and she just didn’t want to deal with that. But they DO still want to have a big wedding and all that stuff. And I’m sure they still want Vicki to pay for it. Vicki is horrified. She seriously looks like she’s about to spontaneously combust. She’s not sure what to say and blames herself for not being a good marriage role model. Well, that’s a start, Vick. She tells us she feels like she’s failed as a mother and wants them to get it annulled. Briana says that when it’s right it’s right and they just didn’t want to wait. Not even long enough to park the car and get out.