RHOM Recap: Party Monsters

Recaps

By Alejandra | Tuesday, November 20, 2012 | 9:17 pm | 14 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Real Housewives of Miami, Recaps

James confronts Marysol in the most confrontational way possible, and the only thing Marysol can do is run .  Literally.  I would, the guy towers over her.  She tries to talk to James for like, two seconds, but then she just heads for the hills knowing she can’t out drag a ten foot tall drag queen in heat.  The whole thing is stupid. 

Elaine is yelling at Marysol about bullying.  Jeez.

Then there’s the fashion show with lots of knee-high snakeskin boots and I just don’t know what to do with myself.  Because if I vomit on my keyboard, I’ll break my computer.

Later, in Karen’t land, she fixes some teeth and, after much consternation, obeys Bravo and invites EVERYONE to a dinner hosted by her and Thomas Kramer.  Because they ARE friends.  Shut up!  For her part, Lea says, “Yes,” because she ain’t gonna miss that shit show, no way, no how.  Apparently Thomas Kramer has “crazy parties.”  Apparently Thomas Kramer ain’t been to a Real Housewives Party.

Commercial!

We return to Adriana and her first visit to Frederic’s boat since he started work on it.  It’s still a fucking mobile home, but worse now that it’s under construction.   From his plans it looks awesome, but it’s still a home that can be destroyed by a couple of well-placed holes.

At the dinner party du jour, Karen’t and her mother arrive at Thomas Kramer’s house to eat raw meat while Thomas pretends to cook.  Seriously, that’s what happens – it’s weird and kinda dark…  What goes on in his house when the cameras aren’t rolling?  For his part, Thomas seems like a good time – he’s totally ridiculous and old-fashioned, as we’ll see later on, but seems relatively harmless.

Elsa arrives and as Thomas greets her, he says divorce becomes her.  Is Elsa divorced?  I thought she was a widow.  Lea and Roy arrive, followed closely by Ana and Marysol.  Thomas is like a brother to Marysol, but Ana doesn’t know him from Adam.  She only came so she wouldn’t seem like a party pooper.  Interesting considering her behavior later on…

#buzzkill

Elsa and Lea stand off to a corner and Lea gives Elsa the skinny on Karen’t. The night that Thomas picked her up and swung her around almost hitting Adriana in the head strikes Elsa’s memory, and she deduces that Thomas and Karen’t have become lovers.  At first, I balked at that, but then Elsa gets pretty convincing – Karen’t hosting tonight at HIS house, and the two are very touchy-feely.  Lea laughs and says that Elsa’s just being old fashioned, but I would not be surprised to find out that Thomas Kramer was slipping Karen’t some lily white salami.  It’s not as though she’s got a real relationship to risk.

Everyone else finally arrives, Adriana and Joanna make nice-ish, and it looks like things are getting off on a good foot.  When it’s time for dinner, Joanna makes a toast and invites everyone (including Elaine) to Biminy for a bonding weekend.  That’s simultaneously the best and worst idea I’ve heard all day.  That trip’s gonna be epic.  I wonder what kind of swimwear Elaine will pack.

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About

Alejandra lives in Los Angeles and is an actor/writer/producer of opinions.  She loves the beach, but never goes, and hates reality stars, but follows them religiously.  In addition to TVGasm, you can read her writing at the online magazine DigN2It, or various fanfiction websites if you're industrious enough to find her.  If you're not industrious at all, a bottle of fine wine will always be an acceptable bribe.

14 Comments

  1. 1
    Deguy123
    Posted November 21, 2012 at 4:35 am

    “she doesn’t give a fuck about a table without a tablecloth, full of French fries she didn’t want. Ha!”
    I swear to god I couldn’t stop laughing at that line.

    She makes for good TV. I’d love for her to be added to the opening credit and see what she would say LOL

  2. 2
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted November 21, 2012 at 5:07 am

    I have to give Ana credit for not cussing Thomas Kramer out. You don’t ring a bell in someone’s face and then expect for them to happily oblige to your requests. Ana is right. People treat Thomas a certain way because he is rich and they want to be around him. Since Ana is not apart of the socialite lifestyle I don’t think she cares, and she showed it by walking out.

    Elaine/James is HUGE compared to Marysol. I am pretty confident and can stand up for myself but even I would have walked away from James standing over me yelling like that.

    Karen’t is disgustingly fake. She’s holding onto TK like it’s her best friend in the world but there are others that “say” they are like family to him.

    Watching TK yell at Elsa was really disturbing. I guess I’m an old southern gal but you NEVER speak to adults that way. EVER.

  3. 3
    mere2142
    Posted November 21, 2012 at 6:33 am

    So was this dinner party more fucked up than the one on BH this week? Or where they both fucked up, just in different ways? Thomas Kramer drove half of his guests to leave where Squinty Foster kicked hers out. To Thomas’ credit, there were no random people breaking into song at the dinner table.

  4. 4
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted November 21, 2012 at 6:37 am

    Oh annnd…Joanna has called off her engagement to Romain.

    http://omg.yahoo.com/news/joanna-krupa-calls-off-engagement-romain-zago-221838398.html

  5. 5
    mere2142
    Posted November 21, 2012 at 7:13 am

    Romain is single? Road trip to Miami anyone?

  6. 6
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted November 21, 2012 at 7:22 am

    I’ve got the snacks Mere. :)

  7. 7
    featherhead
    Posted November 21, 2012 at 7:54 am

    Count me in too ladies!!

  8. 8
    c8h10n4o2
    Posted November 21, 2012 at 9:27 am

    Thomas Kramer actually hosted the RHOA dinner in Miami that happened with that stupid bus trip. And if you google him, the guy is a hard-core violent asshat. Google around on him. Nobody has that many rape and assault allegations without being somewhat unhinged. He’s just rich enough (and owns important enough property) that he gets away with it in Miami. I’m sure that most of the housewives there were aware of his ‘proclivities’ and weren’t taking shit from him.

  9. 9
    labowner
    Posted November 21, 2012 at 9:31 am

    C8h Lea doesn’t seem to care how horrible of a human being you are as long as you spend money at her charity.

    Again, what does James have over whom that he is all over this show? He is a bully.

  10. 10
    AmyOops AmyOops
    Posted November 21, 2012 at 7:24 pm

    Holy shit! I thought I may have been the only one absolutely **loving** Lauren Foster. Point me to her reality show and I’m there!

    Oh DAMN I would pay good money to see her tear Elaine a new, er, well……..would that actually heeeelp…..a free vajayjay…..no…you…..”tear a new asshole” so that…YES….I would like to see Lauren tear Elaine a new assho…..but no no…wait….would two actually be BETTER for Elai…….oh for fuck’s sake I give up.

    Team Lauren!

    Poor Ana. Even poor JoCrayCray! Thomas was being seriously offensive. To all of them, by being such a shitty and ungracious host. Me. No. Likey. Grrr.

  11. 11
    realhousewivesfan
    Posted November 22, 2012 at 1:21 pm

    Ana was right, though i want her off this show. Thomas Krammer calling Joanna a whack job when she came back from a hissie fit to cry over a joke was the realest shit iv heard on this show.
    i would have been like Wtf? too if i didn’t know what to expect already.
    This show is surreal but that’s why i love it, it makes for good TV but not enough people are watching it, i hope it comes back with season 2 (i wanna erase season1 from my head) it was 6 stupid episodes.

  12. 12
    darlingclementine
    Posted November 23, 2012 at 1:08 pm

    Yeah I am with Ana on that one, she didnt have anything at stake since she didn’t know the guy so just leaving like she did was a fine decision. Why the heck does he have a bell to ring at people?

    That was weird when he yelled at Elsa too since she is a mother figure to him you would not think that he would be so quick to scream at the poor lady. I guess unless that is how he treats mother figures?

    As for this Ro and Jo breakup, I am surprised it lasted this long with the repeated “we have a horrible sex life” comments to everyone and everything.

    Really excited for the trip although I am sick of Elaine and wish she was not included… take Elsa instead please!!

  13. 13
    labowner
    Posted November 26, 2012 at 1:52 pm

    First, I would pay to see the full dinner party, christening, book reveal dinner, Vicki going nuts in CR, Kelly losing it in the Bahamas.

    I hope Marysol packs Lauren in her bag and whips her out when Jim/Elaine comes a knockin’.

  14. 14
    NapaNonnie
    Posted November 26, 2012 at 5:11 pm

    Team Lauren! Loved the Vulcan mind meld stare Elsa gave TK when he insulted her. Thanks for recapping.

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