Pretty much exactly a year later…and we have our firsthand account of the mysteries of season four that we first learned about at season three’s reunion. It’s time for the Real Housewives of New Jersey finale.
We pick up with a replay of the tail end of last week’s cliffhanger – the greasy man asking Mel if she remembers him, Ter’s heart “beating 500″ and a concerned Kat wondering about Ter’s coffee intake.
The scene continues on in the ladies room, where Ter corners Mel and tells her that the guy is telling everyone that she used to be a dancer at a gentlemen’s club he managed. Mel is legitimately blind-sided. But I’m pretty sure she was also busted.
What do you mean by “stripping”? I was wearing pasties.
Her first order of business is to call Midge in to the action. Ter tells her this is a bad idea, but while I don’t think Ter was in on the initial setup, she was certainly an active participant by then. The leopard was out of the bag the minute she told Mel about the stripping thing on camera, and whatever midget hell that unleashed was out of her control.
Ter storms the fashion show looking for the greasy bald guy to tell him off, but having played his part, he’s already gone. Meanwhile, Jacquee is receiving mysterious texts from “a friend” telling her that stuff was going down at the Posche fashion show, and that she should sit tight but that she “wasn’t the target”.
Why this information wasn’t immediately brought forward and all Housewives, AKA potential targets, and then evacuated from the Posche fashion show to prevent collateral damage…well, that’s for Jacquee to say. But we’ll never hear that answer because it will all always be blamed on Teresa.
And that’s the rest of the episode. Everyone blaming Teresa. For everything. And Jacquee having a meltdown, which is also blamed on Teresa despite the boatload of documented stress going on in Jacquee’s life.
Waiting for the car. And blaming Teresa.
Oh, and then of course Midge shows up with Lebanese Dilbert. Midge is out of control, and seems kind of drunk which also explains Lebanese Dilbert in the picture as the driver.
Midge yells and screams and jumps up and down in the parking lot. They try to restrain him in his pen, but he escapes into the Posche fashion show where he runs around like a terrier, yapping at everyone about his wife and where’s the bald man?
Midge and Kim D. come face to face and have a big fight.
Go sniff more lines. (You’re a coke whore)
I play with the big boys. (You’re short)
The Manzos stand around the parking lot, already manipulating facts to support the theory that Teresa is the devil. Actually, they were doing that while they were still inside at the table. Ter plays the social butterfly inside the fashion show, but finally she comes outside to face her family.
Everyone accuses her of setting Mel up. No one says a word about these informative texts Jacquee was receiving all night long. It ends with Ter, Midge and Mel screaming at each other across a parking lot with a security guard shuffling the car away.
And that’s why Jacquee wasn’t at the reunion.
Anyway, there’s lots more little details about the way it all went down - meet you back here for the full story! Kisses, CB