This week was a mixed bag for me. There was a lot going on for a change, and a lot of conflicting emotions. One minute I’m siding with the Manzo’s and the next minute, Danielle. One thing I am certain about- Ashley is a fool. Her actions are guided by the emotions of a teenager and she has zero ability to see the big picture.
But first up is Teresa and a trip to the acting/modeling/monster factory so that Gia can try out for a part in the new Christian Slater movie!
I was not aware that he was still making movies. The last I heard he was grabbing butts outside theaters in New York City, and before that Cher was suggesting that she go check out his latest movie with someone in Clueless.
Teresa tries to engage the little muppet in conversation by rehashing that movie with The Rock that she didn’t get last year. Gia rolls her eyes because Gia could care less about all that stuff.
She’s too busy rehearsing for her role as a newsboy Bratz doll.
And look who isn’t wearing a seat belt. Shocking.
Someone needs to tell her that the movie has been canceled. She could still work that outfit in some other way. Maybe a super chic street urchin in the Rodeo Drive version of Oliver Twist? Am I stretching here? Probably. I get annoyed by the way Teresa dresses her kids. Couldn’t she thow on some Osh Kosh or a cute skort instead of $100 tutus and leopard high heels? Gia’s outfit costs more than my car payment.
They’re late AGAIN, and I don’t care if she has four kids. Number one, she is NOT doing it all by herself, and number two- if she really wants her kid to succeed in show business she needs to get her ass there on time.
You don’t get hired if you’re late! They assume that you make a habit of it and will cost them valuable set time as they wait on your ass. I wonder if that’s why Juicy ‘Mo drove to the fashion show Gia walked, to make sure Teresa didn’t get distracted by any shiny dye-munn stores on her way to NYC or any swanky exclusive Osmium sink boutiques. We all know that she can’t follow GPS. God, I hope she donates her brain to science. Anthropologists are going to have a field day. She’s going to end up on a shelf with Lucy and Ida.
She’s such an asshole. There’s a half dozen parents in the reception area awaiting their own kid’s return from the audition and Teresa asks them if any of their kids are trying out for the same movie. The lady next to her nods her head yes, and I’m sorry. Isn’t that the whole reason everyone is there?! So their kids can read for ‘the new Christian Slater?’ What an idiot.
Is stupid contagious? You might want to scooch over a bit, ma’am.
She asks the nice lady if her daughter has all her lines memorized yet and she says, pretty much, and then Teresa proceeds to boast that little Boober Fraggle knows every last word. Why, Teresa was amazed by the speed of it! Gia had everything down pat before you could say Mnemonics!
Or moronic, a word I’m certain she uses more often.
Meanwhile, in the very next room, the only line Gia can remember is “Hi, I’m Gideon.”
“Would you like a bible? Mommy can’t read and the darn thing keeps catching on fire when she touches it.”
And Teresa continues to brag, brag, brag about Gia to her underwhelmed captive audience. She’s now pulling that whole, “I’m not a stage mom,” she just supports her daughter in whatever she wants to pursue.
I suppose you’re going to tell them that she WANTS to dress like that too.
That’s okay. Teresa isn’t the only one bragging. Caroline is running her mouth about all the hard work that her family has put into making The Brownnose so successful. 30 long years of setting tables and fluffing bridezillas sure has paid off. The place looks extremely busy, maybe too busy. It’s a nice building, though.
I try to do my homework here. I figure that it’s the least that I can do considering how late my recaps often are. Plus, I’m nosy. From all the reviews I’ve read, it sounds like they overbook and then cancel on people if a better offer at a higher price comes along.
Many people complained that they do not have a price list but prefer to tailer the prices to how much they can get out of you. Oh well, gotta pay for that strip club/car wash Christopher wants to open. The other complaints involved too much noise from too many parties going on at once and being treated with a rude and brusque manner by management.
Also, it’s beautiful and has decent food but it’s in a crappy area of Patterson. I guess that you can’t please everyone. I have to wonder if some of the reviewers have an ax to grind and also if the Manzo’s think that they are celebrities that are above the customers that patronize their establishment. Not a good attitude to have, IF it’s true.
Anyway, one of my questions from last week is answered because Lauren is still earning her keep by keeping dust from mussing bridal trains, and Chris got promoted! He’s on the same level as his Dad, according to him, and proves it by allowing himself to be bossed around by an older lady who is not impressed by his table set-up abilities.
There are never enough tables when they fall off the back of a truck.
There’s a lot to co-ordinate in their line of work. I have some experience myself with catering so I understand. I ran a restaurant bar in my 30s and did outside catering for the same establishment, mostly for local businesses. It’s a goldmine and as long as you provide excellent service, you can charge a little on the high side and still get repeat business. You can’t act jaded or disinterested, especially when your bread and butter revolves around days that are among the most important in someone’s life.
Speaking of the butter..
Theirs has a giant ‘B’ on it. I assume that it stands for ‘Bubbies.’
Caroline says that they also work hard to get things right for their customers which is why Danielle’s claims that they threw her out are so upsetting to her. Also, someone told Christopher that Danny called him a faggot and now he’s pissed at Danielle too.
If I were him I would make lip service to being mad and then forget about it. Who cares what a two-bit thug says about you? The guy’s a loser. I’m more interested in what’s going to happen when Jacqueline gets her nails done at the infamous Chateau Salon & Spa.
Don’t you love that name? A salon whose name is the French word for a castle. It’s in a storefront in a strip mall next to a Starbucks. It couldn’t be less castle-like if it were in a turnpike rest area. Whatever, I guess that all it takes is the suggestion of refined noble elegance and these women drop their checkbooks into the cashiers’ laps like their panties when hubby shows up with dye-munns.
Jacqueline is wearing one of Teresa’s ‘Happy Wife, Happy Life’ t-shirts and I’m glad to see her doing her part to try and keep the Giudice’s in the black. Too bad she didn’t buy one for every single Bravo viewer. That’s the only way she could have kept the forehead-less wonder out of bankruptcy.
Careful, Jacqueline. I hear bankruptcy’s an epidemic in them there parts.
She hands her baby off to one of the employees and then sits down for a chat with her pedicurist, when who pulls into a parking space outside but Eve G. I’m still not sure what her purpose on this show is, except maybe as a hired friend to Danielle so that she doesn’t seem so pathetic and alone.
And what a co-inkeedeink! They showed up to the same salon at the same time to get their tootsies painted! Crazy. Jacqueline tells the pedicurist that Ashley moved out (snooze…) and if she thinks that this conversation is TV worthy she’s out of her mind. She has to be expecting SOMETHING to happen.
Eve walks in and gets right into telling Jacqueline that Danielle has her drained and exhausted. Baby Nicholas hears Danielle’s name and immediately starts wailing. Haha, his balls probably shoved themselves further into his tiny body cavity at the sound of her name. He can probably taste his own underdeveloped spermatazoa.
Jackie asks for her baby in an effort to avoid speaking to Eve about ‘She Who Must Not Be Named.’ It doesn’t work. Eve tip-toes around actually bashing Danielle, just says that she was uncomfortable and embarrassed by the muscle head entourage.
Jackie can’t help but open her big mouth and tell her to be careful because Danielle blows up at the slightest hint of criticism. She also tells her that she’s glad that Danielle is her problem and not Jackie’s. I feel you, human sominex.
Woo hoo! Why don’t you throw a party at the Brownnose to celebrate?
Speaking of parties, Eve G. is throwing Danielle her first ‘adult birthday party.’ Okay…how old is Danielle? The only adult birthday party I’ve ever had was for my 40th. I didn’t ask for it and it was a week after the fact, a complete surprise. If a friend called and asked me if they could throw a 46th birthday party for me I’d look at them like they were crazy. Dinner, fine. Party, no thank you. Unless there will be strippers and it’s catered by Michael Simon or Eric Ripert, and the capper of the evening involves actual pies, not just whipped cream, and Jill Zarin’s face.
Eve asks if Danny is coming because she doesn’t want her poor delicate ears to have to endure any of his faggoty name calling. Hey, I have a question. Why is it that Eve can say faggot without being bleeped but Danny can’t? It’s got to be some silly hair splitting rule that the FCC put out there. Anybody know?
Is it because Eve’s gay? Let’s ask Danielle, she knows who all the gays are, after all.
Danielle actually has the nerve to defend the name calling because it didn’t come out of her mouth, when that wasn’t even the point to begin with. Then she defends Danny’s use of the slur since it can’t be an insult because Christopher isn’t gay.
How the fuck does she know, first of all, and she knows damn well it was meant to belittle him by using a word that implies that reeks of hatred, prejudicial in itself. DUH, Miss Gay Advocate, you are as much a champion of gay rights as you are of baby cancer, and no amount of faux lesbianism is going to convince me otherwise.
“I just love the faggoty buggers, I mean homosexuals.”
This is almost as bad as Scott Baio tweeting a picture of the First Lady as an ape and then defending his actions by informing the world that he can’t be prejudiced, his wife’s best friend is black! Were you there for the crazy blog war between him and Jezebel? It was EPIC. I love that stuff, almost as much as Amazongate.
Back to the make-up table, the silent homosexual guy doing Danielle’s hair looks on as Elderly Eve tries to explain to Joker Face that it was her son’s BFF that was called names. Eve is insulted for her son and what he’s going to think about having a mom with a shitty friend that besmirches his buddy’s sexuality.
Fucking bitch. You’re lucky I don’t shave ‘faggot’ into the back of your head.
This next part is reaching, I mean REACHING for the stars with Danielle’s next explanation.
You see, it’s the Manzo’s fault for putting Christopher in a position to deal with Danielle’s asshole friends in the first place. What? She and Danny created the situation, not the Manzo’s! You might as well blame Father Time himself for Chris being there instead of being busy with another car.
He tried to hide! You’re the one that went up to HIM. Plus, what did he have to do with anything? He parked your car, he wasn’t your personal escort for the night. He didn’t even have anything to do with setting up the extra table. This shit makes no sense.
Kim ignores her BS and says that she hopes it doesn’t happen again, and off to the party they go. It’s a catered affair with foofy h’ors d’oeuvres, fancily colored cocktails and plenty of overdressed women. It’s perfect for Danielle and she makes her way around the room, hugging aquaintences like they were long lost war buddies.
If your war involved bleached hair, orange skin and lipstick shades the color of old chewing gum.
Ugh, so ugly and harsh to look at until, up walks a beautiful creature, the child of Lucille Ball and Arlene Dahl!
And her name is Dottie. I nominate her for the new Housewife this very second, please Miss Andy, please?
It’s actually Summer’s Eve’s mother-in law! Wow, beauty really does run in that family, her MIL looks younger than her! Maybe Eve is a cradle robber and she married a guy 20 years younger. It’s too weird.
She kisses Danielle and then says that she has to speak with her. They go outside with Eve tagging along and rehash the drama at the Brownnose. I thought we were done with this! Danielle starts to cry because she doesn’t want her friends to defend any member of the Manzo clan EVER.
All she can think of is how much they will enjoy seeing her cry at her own party because of them. What? Why is she crying? She never cries because of them. This is all for show, and Eve is right, she does care too much about what those people think or do, no matter how much Danielle denies it.
“So what? I always cry on my birthday! Pay attention, puh-lease!”
Eve finally drops it, apologizes for making her cry at her own birthday party and they head back inside. All these women are nuts. See what you got yourself into, ya dumb bored bleached blonde housewife? I hope Danielle puts your menopausal ass on speed dial and makes sure that you get a complimentary copy of her sex tape on YOUR birthday.
Did you watch any of it? She should get those wonky tits fixed and do porn. She could save her house! I watched it this morning before I was awake and could see straight. The guy she’s with chews gum throughout the whole thing, leading me to believe that he’s one of those goons that showed up at the baby cancer party to defend her. So, unless you have a burning desire to gaze upon her pierced brisket, I suggest you do something better with your time. Like passing the hat around for poor bankrupt Teresa.
We’re at Dina’s witchypoo den next, where she is discussing Danielle with her FEMALE assistant.
What ever happened to that guy she interviewed last season? You know, the one she sexually harassed, offered alcohol to, and then told that he’d be fetching her tampons from Medco? Maybe the cats got hungry and she fed him to them.
They are also going over some Ladybug Foundation business, the big charity that Dina runs, also for baby cancer. What is it with Jersey? It’s like baby cancer is as common as whooping cough, and what is up with her huge ring?
Jill Zarin could skate on it!
It’s probably just another of her energy enhancing crystals. She and Spencer Pratt should start a business together with the proceeds going to sick toddlers, call it Twatts and Tots or something in that vein. They’re both unemployed, after all.
Blah blah about meeting with Danielle to ask her to stay away from her. Just DO IT already! I am so bored with your unimaginative story line! Move on, get the hell out so that Miss Andy can find someone with more stuff going on in their life, like one of Danielle’s bed pillows.
And no, I do not buy any of this bullshit about giving Danielle a chance. I’m having none of it. It was just a ploy on Dina’s part to make a graceful exit and blame it on someone else. It was a sure bet that Danielle would do something to piss her off. It was just a matter of time, and did you see the calendar they were going over? It was September. You do the math. Either she planned it from the beginning or they need to fire the continuity guy. Confusing.
Back at the Xist modeling agency, Gia and her mother have been called into a meeting by their agent. Nikki Flippers did not get the part that she so miraculously commited to memory. What on earth? How did this happen to one of the most natural talents on earth?
“I’m sorry, Mrs. Giudice. Christian Slater doesn’t work well with animals.”
It’s her accent. Her roo-in’d rah-in’ way uh speakin.’ She has to tone it down and try to speak less like an extra from Bugsy Malone and more like a nice midwestern kid that doesn’t need a translator every time she opens her mouth.
“But I’m too pretty to work on anything, right Mommy?”
They agree to meet with a voice coach, add that to the list of stuff you and I will be paying for, and Gia does horribly. She can’t grasp the concept of turning ‘cwawfee’ into coffee, and Gia keeps rolling her eyes and looking at Teresa, trying to communicate to her that she’s over it and doesn’t want to continue.
Not to worry, Gia dear, mommy won’t make you take any more of those helpful lessons. She thinks that your accent is just fine the way it is. I mean, what’s she going to do once that can of worms is opened? It’s not like she’s going to able to get you to stop sounding like a cigar chomping midget either. The poor kids voice is as low as James Earl Jones’s, for crying out loud.
And way to make sure your kid succeeds, Teresa. Really nice of you to encourage all these lofty aspirations and then refuse to make her do what the professional agent tells you to do since not doing so LOST HER A JOB.
And if Teresa isn’t a stage mom, why did she insist on being in the room with the voice coach? Her presence was an obvious distraction. And what’s with saying that she doesn’t think that she has an accent to begin with? Has she been sharing delusion drugs with Leather at Housewife events or something?
And since I’m on a Seinfeld style rant here, what is it with all the newsboy caps? Is someone really doing a Paramus version of Oliver twist and nobody told me?
In the end I think that Teresa has just as much of a problem handling criticism as Caroline or Dina, or Danielle for that matter. Her own daughter has her wrapped around her little finger with no end in sight. I feel sorry for the little girls at Gia’s school. She probably steam rollers them as well.
Over at Danielle’s going to pot mansion, she’s alone in her kitchen talking to herself. She’s upset because that dunderhead Ashley sent her a mean text. She wonders aloud why ‘those people’ won’t leave her alone and thus begins the war with light-in-the-brains ninny Ashley mashed potato head.
Eve arrives and Danielle tells her how Trashley has been setting up ‘I Hate Danielle Staub’ Facebook pages, instead of getting a job or going to school. Way to make the most of your time, spoiled brat, by talking trash about a single mother in her 40s with underage kids.
It’s pretty pathetic but Danielle calls it terroristic, lumping herself in with victims of the KKK.
Honey, the only white sheets you’ve ever been in contact with are the ones your boyfriends throw over your head while they’re banging you.
She shows Eve the text from Ash, asking if the word BYE is a threat. Like ‘bye bye, you’re dead.’ What a drama queen. She’s just as much of an immature nitwit to be engaging in this war of words. Be an adult and ignore it, sheesh!
Danielle says that she’s going to let a judge decide whether or not that one word is a threat, and here we go back into daytime soap territory again. You guys are right and I’ve been saying it all along. Danielle is playing a part that she’s created in her own warped head, one that has nothing to do with reality. She’s the heroic victim in the cheap made for TV movie of her life. What’s even crazier is that she expects everyone to play along, even though she never gave them their parts or informed them of their lines and motivations. CRAZY.
She says that she doesn’t like to get physical and doesn’t want this text to escalate into something violent. Of course you don’t Danielle. You have midget street punks for that. Too bad they’re cowards.
And look. A cougar in an animal print. You don’t see that every day.
Eve tells her to put an end to it and go to the cops to file a report. NO, you idiot, NO. Fucking shit stirrer. Who tells a friend that? Ignore it, block the teen dunce from your phone and get over it.
Let’s move on by paying for more things in Teresa’s life, this time lunch with Jackie. Holy moly, Jacqueline is the one who’s late for once. I am shocked! Something must be up, and it is. She tells Teresa that Danielle is telling everyone that Ashley left her a text “supposebly” threatening to kill her. Brilliant.
“This is a delicious glass of orange juice, that’s what I’ve heard, SUPPOSEBLY.”
Yeah, and supposebly you finished high school too. I demand to see the diploma.
Danielle is also thinking of sending the police to Jacqueline’s house to arrest the teen troublemaker, but she moved out so whoopdeedo. Besides, isn’t being arrested something to be proud of with these people, or is that only in Danielle’s world?
Jackie calls her daughter, asks her to meet them at the restaurant and then tells her not to lie to her when she gets there. Why would she ask her that? What lies are Jackie allowing Ashley to get away with on camera? You have to wonder. I bet it’s the ‘always using birth control,’ and the ‘always having a designated driver’ business.
Jackie says that she heard about the Facebook war as Ashley pulls into the parking lot in a grey SUV. I thought hers was white? Did she already get a new one? It’s appropriate, though. White is too black and white for this girl. She lives in a wishy washy namby pamby grey area of life, just like her car.
Jackie tells Teresa that Danielle even called Ash a whore. Cue up the outrage! Teresa would never lat anyone call one of her daughters a whore! She feels that she has every right to call Danielle a whore and even flip tables at her, but an 18 year old girl? That’s too much, Gasmii.
Ashley arrives with a tiny nervous smile on her moon pie face, and Jacqueline asks if she threatented Danielle. She denies it and then tells her that part of what started this stupidity was Danielle telling her that she was fat and needed to lose weight in her arms.
I think she meant your head, honey.
What? Who cares?! Danielle probably thinks that Posh is too fat. She has zero credibility when it comes to determining what a healthy weight is. Sadly, Ashley took the bait and here we are.
Jackie tells her that this facebook stuff is trashy and needs to stop and then Ash cops to telling Danielle that she was going to hell in that little BYE text she sent her. Jacqueline tells her to come to her immediately if anything else happens, and you totally know that she won’t.
It’s okay, though. Ashley has the Caroline Manzo stamp of approval. Good old auntie said that for all her faults, Ashley does tell the truth. Who asked you? And how is telling someone that they are going to Hell telling the truth? That woman needs to shut her bossy mouth and stick to getting free personal training time for her kids and shaving her sideburns. Ick.
Danielle is better off not knowing any of them. She should stick to trying to make Danny look like less of an extra from ‘Grease’ and more of a cheap car salesman which is what she is doing right now at the North Jersey version of International male.
“Do you like my vest, Danny? I made it from the pelts of the rabbits I’ve been leaving in boiling pots all across Bergen county.”
Danny tries some suits on and then Danielle gets a phone call from Dina inviting her at six at some place called Chakra. It digures that she would pick an eatery named after Hindu gobbledeegook, pathways to energy or something. I can’t remember.
And wasn’t Danielle’s ringtone the theme from The Odd Couple? Help me out. I’m probably wrong. It has to be music from some mobster movie or television show. I’m going to have to enlist Mr. McSlore’s help when he gets home. It’s driving me crazy.
She agrees to meet her, hangs up and then Danny asks her if Dina wants to meet so that she can apologize for the shitty way she was treated at the baby cancer shindig. She’s out of her drama queen mind if she thinks that’s going to happen.
She calls Dina back to make sure that it’s just going to be the two of them, then asks Danny if he’ll be available that evening in case Dina casts some really nasty spells or drops a house on her. Or, you know, if the waiter isn’t up to snuff and Danielle needs someone to call him a faggot.
To further the set-up for when Ashley and Danielle get into their physical altercation later this season, we have Ashley and Derek hanging out at his mom’s house discussing Ashley’s conversation with her mom. She tells him about all the things that Danielle has said and Derek calls her crazy, like a 16 year old in a 47 year old body.
And an 18 year old is so much saner?
Dude, date someone your own age, seriously. I know she’s legal but it’s still kinda gross.
We’re just in time for another phone call. This time it’s Jacqueline and she is hella pissed. Livid. Ready to tear someone’s throat out. She has one heck of a temper when she deals with her idiot daughter and you can hear it through the speaker phone.
What is this rectangular doohickey and why does it sound like my mom?
She’s screaming at Ashley for updating her Facebook status to say that Danielle has a warrant out for her arrest. What a dumb shit. I’m always telling you guys that I don’t have a Facebook and this highlights one of the reasons why. People get up in your business and I don’t want anyone doing that to me, nor do I care to read their fleeting thoughts and moods. BORING. I am so freaking busy as it is and even Flipit has warned me about what a time waster Facebook can be. I’d rather catch up on laundry or clean my carpets.
I understand why Jackie is mad. She told her not to do any more of that shit and Ashley promptly ignored it. Does she think that it’s cool or something? Didn’t she know that her mother would find out? How freaking dumb do you have to be? Is Ashley related to Teresa? You gotta wonder.
Even Derek knows how ridiculous it is to do something like that and he tells her to forget about it. Sadly, Ashley views this as a war, and she wants to keep playing her childish games online, saying that she has way more people on her side than Danielle. Derek reminds her that if she does anything to Danielle or her property she will go to jail. She shrugs.
Fine. Then you are no better than she is, and go to jail. Maybe you’ll learn an actual skill there.
Caroline and Al are hosting a dinner party for everyone except Danielle and Dina who are meeting at that Hindu named place that doesn’t serve any Indian food.
There’s so much food there and Jacqueline shows up with little baby Nicholas, who is insanely cute. If it wasn’t for C.J. and Nicholas, I would have given up all hope in the future of these family’s.
Hopefully someday you can help raise those school district test scores.
Teresa is late again. An hour and a half late. She blames it on a poopy diaper that she had to change, so I guess that papa and nona got the night off to go see a movie or maybe they work second shift at The Olive Garden. I would not be surprised by either. Still, what takes her so long? It’s not like she left them home alone. And if she had to, she could just crate them. I’m sure they can go a couple of hours with no bathroom breaks, and if they do pee? You just wash the liner.
Teresa snidely says in interviews that it’s just too bad if people have to wait for her. Really. LuLu would have a field day with that one. Lateness is at the very top of the no-no list. Showing no remorse for it takes it to a whole other level.
She finally arrives and C.J. gets to garnish and serve the pasta. He’s such a good little boy, and I’m not being sarcastic. Jacqueline must be keeping his exposure to the Teresa’s brats at an absolute minimum. There’s no need to raise him to think that all women are grasping Divas wearing tutus and trolling for money for more outfits.
Are you sure you’re related to these people?
Everybody’s eating and then Ashley opens her big mouth and asks Chris Laurita if Jackie told him about her issues with Danielle, calling him dad and earning herself an evil look from mom. we all remember that Chris said that he didn’t want to hear anything about Danielle this season and now the whole table wants to know what’s going on.
He doesn’t look happy as he tells Ashley to ignore her, but Ashley just can’t. Not after Danielle called her fat. She started it! Waaaaahh!! SO CHILDISH. Then Ashley brags that she told Danielle that she looks like The Grinch and needs to fix her square tit.
Everybody laughs and then Caroline excuses her boneheaded behaviour by saying that she’s only protecting her family. Good job, mama Manzo! Congratulations! You are becoming another hypocrite in the rapidly expanding pantheon of hypocrisy that is already chock full of Bravo Housewives.
I guess that everything is okay if it’s being done by family, as long as your reasons are sincere, who cares if the delivery is all kinds of wrong?
We’re not done with feeling superior yet and Christopher tells Juicy about Danny calling him a faggot. We have to listen to more moronic spin control from Teresa when she says that what Danielle did was so much worse because it was meant as an insult, whereas Juicy was just making comments. What the? She knows damn well that her husband was insulting the dance instructor. I don’t think that Juicy ever denied it, nor could he give a shit what any of us thinks.
They all raise their glasses and toast to never speaking about Danielle ever again. Yeah, right. The entire show revolves around her. Good luck with that. Al Senior rolls his eyes because he knows that Caroline and Ashley are going to break that pledge in about ten seconds. It’s a hollow gesture and nobody’s buying it.
“How about we toast to me banging my secretary. THAT I can drink to.”
In another bullshit encrusted corner of Jersey, the cameras show Dina and Danielle getting ready for their big meeting.
You see those earrings? They’re made from the souls of dead assistants.
The Bravo producers are giving it a huge bulid-up. I don’t know why. The first half of the meeting that we get to see in this episode is boring and stupid, with Dina expecting to sit down for five minutes, say her piece and then leave happy with Danielle not allowed to say boo.
“Thanks for meeting me to talk, and by the way, you won’t be doing any.”
What was she thinking! I liked Dina at first but who does that? Who asks to speak to someone and then doesn’t allow the other person to say anything because it’s ‘your mee-in’ since ‘you called and arranged it.’ Danielle has every right to be pissed at her for the way she approaches things. It’s one thing to ask someone to stay out of your life. It’s another to do it in such a way that completely reduces the other person to a non-entity with no right to discuss their own feelings.
We are left with one of those ‘to be continued…’ frames so we’ll delve into this little one-sided (HA) conversation more next time. By now you know that Dina is leaving and I must ask, do you care? I don’t. She can go back to trashing Greece and petting her pussies and counting her crystals with Zen Jen. What a disappointment she’s been.
Give another Jersey girl a chance, preferably one with a life worth talking about, not a woman who diligently controls what we get to see of it. Can’t they put a rider in their contracts that says that they have to be at least a little interesting? PLEASE?
This version of the franchise needs a Bethenny BADLY. Someone real, and funny to boot. These hags are just awful. Now excuse me, beloved Gasmii. I have to golf and down a couple of pitchers of Bellinis. It’s late and I’m parched, not to mention suffering from Jill Zarin overload. I need to stamp some more Titleist balls with an outline of her face and whack the hell out of them. It’s in my contract.
Love and Kisses,