RHONJ: MiniCap

31 Comments

1. 1
   MrsMiaWallace
   Posted July 16, 2012 at 4:03 pm

   Yay Chickbomb! I can’t wait for the full recap.

   I will just say here that I LOVE when you make fun of “Tiny” Momma Manzo. It tickles me just right.

2. 2
   Andyourlittledogtoo
   Posted July 16, 2012 at 4:46 pm

   The entire time I was watching the blk road trip I kept thinking, ‘Yep. Teeny Tiny Mama Manzo has done an EXCELLENT job with those two! Clearly princes of industry!’ She really is rockin’ the delusions.

   Can’t wait for the full recap.

3. 3
   hot cawfee
   Posted July 16, 2012 at 5:10 pm

   sigh…….everytime RHNJ is recapped (mini’s and biggies) an angel gets their wings.
   And Cawfee has some wine.

   Cannot wait to watch the episode (at nephew’s b-day party last night) and comment responsibly.

4. 4
   Closet Fan
   Posted July 16, 2012 at 5:18 pm

   I can’t watch the show anymore. They are all super twisted. I mean really, the recaps are better than the show!

5. 5
   labowner
   Posted July 16, 2012 at 5:40 pm

   “and comment responsibly.”

   Mother effing awesome. Didn’t know one could comment unresponsibly.

6. 6
   RazzBeth
   Posted July 17, 2012 at 3:51 am

   When I hear Black Water, I can’t help but think that they won’t get a lot of naval personnel buying that shit. Because “black water” is what you get on subs when you flush the toilet. On second thought, it is actually quite appropriate.

7. 7
   hot cawfee
   Posted July 17, 2012 at 6:31 am

   @ 5 Labby– oh yes!!!! I have to make sure my spelling is correct, I am snarking in good fashion, using good grammar and putting forth good and worthy comments–whew !!!!! And all while not spilling my wine!!!!

8. 8
   Gypsy
   Posted July 17, 2012 at 7:45 am

   Ya Chickbomb welcome back!

   Liek my girls SopheyFatalle tweeted…You know who’s the real size 2? AL MANZO!

   ~

9. 9
   Gypsy
   Posted July 17, 2012 at 8:10 am

   *Like, *girl UGH!

10. 10
    Andyourlittledogtoo
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 11:20 am

    So here’s the thing. Blackwater. Does NO ONE in that ENTIRE family remember that BLACKWATER is the name of the shadow army in Iraq, outsourcing as it were jobs the military previously did ‘inhouse’ and in the process overcharging and generally profiteering and operating in a shady manner? There’s a lot to it, obviously, but in general when I hear the word ‘Blackwater’ I am not infused with warm fuzzy healthful feelings, more like looking over my shoulder for the threat. I would not think that THAT was a good brand name, is all I’m saying.

    What am I thinking? These people don’t read or keep up with the world. They probably never heard of Blackwater. Silly me.

11. 11
    Jason
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 11:27 am

    When I think of black water, I think of Calcutta in the monsoons with black water overflowing the sewers. Which idiot came up with this idea? And its really tragic when you hear Chris Laurita say how he lost a helluva lot of money in his prior business ventures, and so he’s putting all his eggs into this basket of cholera-infected sludge.

12. 12
    SuburBint
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 11:39 am

    On the plus side, they can market it as a weight-loss product because of the case of dysentery that people inevitably come down with after drinking it.

13. 13
    roger
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 11:53 am

    @andyourlittledogtoo: i presumed their target audience were hyperpatriots who are ashamed that the real military has their hands tied by sissy civilians like dick cheney. ” BLACKWATER~we clear traffic jams with machine guns”.

14. 14
    Andyourlittledogtoo
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 12:20 pm

    @roger – There you go! Perfect.

    Yeah, I was really struck by Jacq’s phrasing too: ‘We were FORCED into bankruptcy.” Like, what, at gunpoint? Like, it’s really really not YOUR fault at ALL? Not like evil TERESA, who ‘did bankruptcy’, because that is wrong. No no, Chris and Jacqueline were FORCED into bankruptcy. Usually I have no problem with that phrasing or with filing for bankruptcy if you need to. It happens. But the Lauritas and Manzos have been so on their high horse about Teresa and Joe filing and all the gory details, it just really stuck in my craw that she just lets that little tidbit slip through and minimizes it like it is a totally different thing for THEM.

    How how how did Jacqueline and Caroline become so deluded that they thought that this season would put them in the ‘good’ light and burn Teresa? Most of us hate Teresa and we now hate Jacq and Caro more now than ever and Teresa less in comparison.

    Caroline could not have been less interested in being in Albert’s booth and wanted to be in her sons’ booth. And there’s a metaphor there for her marriage that is more apt than I want to think about. Ahem.

15. 15
    Gypsy
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 12:39 pm

    I believe BLK or blackwater started out as a Canadian born product…I highly doubt the Lauritas/Manzits did any further research into the name or maket research on it’s branding abilities…just doing my part…

    I want to punch Don CaroManzo, this she’ll fight me?

16. 16
    roger
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 12:53 pm

    BLACKWATER~you’ll fart like a machine gun on STEROIDS!

17. 17
    labowner
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 3:13 pm

    Andyourlittledogtoo – Blackwater was the name of a company which had security contracts in Iraq and else where in the world, but don’t harp on others for not knowing something you didn’t either.

18. 18
    Andyourlittledogtoo
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 3:47 pm

    @labowner – When did I say I didn’t know what Blackwater was? I’ve known about Blackwater since they first contracted to do the work in Iraq and didn’t like them then and I don’t like them now. IMO they’re a bunch of civilian yahoos with way too much power and way too many guns. I was just making the comment now regarding the Manzos water venture as folks were stating what the name reminded them of. Please don’t assume to know what I do or do not know or when I knew it.

    Seriously though, do you think any of that brain trust pays attention to the news beyond the completely superficial? I would be shocked.

19. 19
    Classy Drunk
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 4:20 pm

    So if black water fails I get Chris being SOL, but Albie, you can get a job. I know I know working a regular 9-5 with a starting salary of 37 is not what you are hoping for, but it what the rest of us are doing out there.

20. 20
    archie leach
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 6:49 pm

    I have to confess I have given up on watching the show (although I won’t deny I try and catch up online), but I am still drawn in by my sheer, irrational love for these recaps. God love you, those with the strength to continue marching on. I only have a few questions for those loyal viewers:

    1. Can Teresa’s hairline get any lower?
    2. Has Teresa somehow won, only because by remaining the be the delusional asshole she has always been and refusing to grudge, awful Mama Manzo and her underling Jacqui continue to find news ways to make themselves look worse?
    3. Mel actually seems pretty harmless despite her delusions of grandeur, and Kathy downright (GASP!) likable.

    On the other shows… ATL has an ace card in Phaedra (I hated her at first but now she is the show’s saving grace to me!), OC is like vomit, that just keeps coming back up (and is admittedly still fascinating in its capacity for bilge) and NY is a snooze fest these days. Never seen Miami or Vancouver admittedly…

21. 21
    archie leach
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 6:51 pm

    Eek! First time posting and missed a few errors — Teresa remaining *TO* be and *BUDGE* not grudge.

22. 22
    roger
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 9:44 pm

    @cary~#1: not only lower, it continues to grow down as if compelled by gravity. i’m partial to hairy women BUT… her real father (yeah we’ve seen her “father”) must be lon chaney jr.
    #2: caroline manzo is such a self-rightous, self-backpatting, self-stimuating monster of a caracature of an italian-american mother that if the real mob doesn’t already have a contract out on her, have em call me; i’ll go “!1/2′s” on the contract with albert sr. albie and chris would prolly kick in, lauren could tell the cops we were at CaFeces all afternoon gettin’ purty. ANOTHER MANZO TRIUMPH!
    i finally get why tre in the first 2 seasons paid for her delusions by whipping out a huge wad of cash~she’s a HOOT unless you’re holding her “funny paper”.

23. 23
    Andyourlittledogtoo
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 9:58 pm

    See, Teresa is horrible but she’s funny and she IS hustling and loyal to her family. She loves her kids to death and although I think I would kill him in his sleep Juicy Joe does have his moments. Contrast that to the putrid Caroline and Jacqui and the Mel and Joey sex show and Teresa comes out looking pretty good. I mean, they are all awful, but Teresa at least is funny and has warm moments and seems to offer some genuine affection for her family and friends (well, not Mel, but that is a whole other can of worms). So, yeah.

    And her hairline has actually gone LOWER in the next to last episode when she was rocking the Goa’uld princess look during a talking head at the end there. It was bizarre beyond the telling of it. She may have been wearing a wig that day, that cannot have been her real hair and hairline. Too funny.

    Mel and Kathy are not harmless, they just seemed so by comparison early on when we were young and naive. My take on it anyway.

24. 24
    roger
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 10:04 pm

    that mob contract on mama manzo; i’ll go 1/24th with albert, the kids, and the 10-15 siblings, nieces and nephews her family values have alienated. i get the idea of family feuds, but “tiny” can’t get along with anybody.

25. 25
    roger
    Posted July 17, 2012 at 10:30 pm

    thanks littledog, i’d almost forgotten that cleopatra, nefratiti, queen of sheba meets plan 9 from outer space-look teresa was rockin’ in the final interview segment a couple of weeks ago. due to family obligations, i watched this last episode in a location not 10 miles from mountain lakes, nj. must be like a catholic taking communion at st. peter’s in rome. if we only could have run into the guid-ICHAY family at the “glow-in-the-dark mini-monster golf course” down rte. 46, it would have been like an audience with the pope.

26. 26
    hot cawfee
    Posted July 18, 2012 at 5:25 am

    @19 Classy– you got that right– Albie is a cop or sheriff in NJ???? And a college grad from Fordham Un ( I think)–and oh yes Daddy owns The Brownstone so you have a place to work . I am sure there is room for you Cafface–your sister Lapband would wet herself twice if she employed you. And if you have to work a work-a-day job like the rest of us, then WELCOME!!!

    @2o and 21 Archie–lolol– Yes Tre’s hairline is a wonder–I think its getting lower–and your slip of grudge over budge– brilliant!! She holds grudges and refuses to budge on anything.

27. 27
    sheesh
    Posted July 18, 2012 at 5:50 am

    Chris will do fine. He’s an entrepenuer.
    Stripper carwash anybody?

28. 28
    Andyourlittledogtoo
    Posted July 18, 2012 at 6:18 am

    Holy Cat Face! That Brownstone sauce is $8 a jar sold in sets of three. Uh, no thanks.

29. 29
    hot cawfee
    Posted July 19, 2012 at 4:30 am

    @28 And Your Little Dog Too– what ??? For that much $$$ Tiny Manzo has to come to my house and make me dinner—no ham game, no sausage and potatoes or olive sauce—I want eggplant parm and angel hair pasta. Then a big green salad ( i mayhave to help with that–I have a feeling these people are not eating their veggies) and some garlic bread. I know Kathy Wakile will hook (hooka–bbwwahhaahhaa) me up with some dessert.

30. 30
    Dawn
    Posted July 19, 2012 at 8:25 pm

    OK. This show aired Sunday. Its now almost 11:30 on Thursday night.

    Let’s get with the recap. I’m sure you had a nice, fun vacay, but its time to get with it.

31. 31
    Mrngstar
    Posted July 19, 2012 at 9:20 pm

    I agree Dawn….RHONY & RHOC both air after RHONJ, and BOTH have full recaps!!!