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Wednesday, July 14, 2010
4:31 pm
129 Comments
So sad. The intros start and no Dina. It’s no secret that she was my favorite. Her Witchypoo ways will be missed. Maybe when Lexi grows up, Miss Andy will give them their own show. I’d love to watch them ham it up in a curiosity shoppe that sells ladybug buddha dolls and somnambulist pillow sachets to the unsuspecting public, turning Franklin Lakes into one giant bedroom community for real.
The world would be a better place.
I was surprised by one thing in these two shows, and appalled by another. Poor Albie has a big problem with law school, and Teresa? I’m no longer shocked at the predictable display of gluttony by our resident indolent indigent brutes. I’m sure the Giudice’s creditors are going to get a real kick out of the tacky house warming party they threw for themselves.
Some guy worked his whole life cutting stone so they can show off and then he has to borrow money to make his own house payment, because the Giudice’s found a way around the system and won’t pay him. I’m sure that he’s probably giddy with joy watching this. And he is watching. You know it. I’m getting physically ill reliving it, myself.
The girls are feeling the absence of Dina too as Caroline and Jacqueline sit in yet another restaurant waiting AGAIN for a late Teresa. I wonder if they tried that old trick on her yet. The one where you say that lunch starts a half hour earlier than it really does in the hopes that they make it there on time. It worked on my sister. Sadly, my niece told her what was up and it never worked again. She did get the point, though, and shaved a good 15 minutes off of her lateness.
But unlike my sister, Teresa’s a simpleton. If they want her to be on time to anything, they’re going to have to call Juicy and have him club her over the head and drag her by the hair to the car. I’m not familiar with how loutish anthropoids deal with these things, but maybe he could throw a bunch of bananas into the front seat and then lock her out of the house.
Or chase her out of the house with a picture of Danielle’s boobs. Those scary wonky titties are at the doctor’s office getting appraised. It turns out that they are worth the equivalent of an 8th grade woodshop cutting board and some used chewing gum, which is what I assume they are made of.
Here’s the report and Good God! Danielle has had three surgeries on them and a staph infection. For once she doesn’t sound like someone from the cast of a three penny opera when she tells us that she deals with the pain from them on a daily basis. THIS time I believe she’s sincere. How scary to have a part of you that is always cold and hard and hideous to look at, and the flesh surrounding them?
It looks like Grandma Wrinkles’ skin after she was left out in the sun for five months.
The doctor takes pictures of her chest and tells her that they are going to have to bring a revision specialist in on this operation, they’re so fubar. Gee, I bet that’s expensive.
But tits before school supplies.
I would really like to know who is paying for all of this. We all know by now that most of these women don’t have real money, and 30 grand from Bravo won’t cover the newsboy caps on this show, let alone Danielle’s bills. Do you think they worked out an arrangement? Maybe the doctor gave her half off because of the television exposure, or maybe he goes pro bono for the really fucked up cases.
At least we don’t have to worry too much about Caroline’s family. I’m sure that Lauren’s cosmetology school is being paid for by her parents and I’m happy to see a girl on this franchise with some aspirations that don’t involve ripping off other people’s cookbooks or shilling t-shirts with hokey dated sayings on them.
It’s ‘avante garde’ day at the make-up college and Lauren’s partner has turned her face into a canvas perfectly suited for a Halloween party or a Frankenstein themed pictorial in an 1985 issue of Hair Show. Not sure whether either of them are talented since this stuff is so over the top
but they could always get jobs at a funeral home.
Somebody has to put blusher on Aunt Trudy’s cheeks after she’s knitted her last shawl and shuffled off this mortal coil. It might as well be Lauren. She and Christopher could open the first car wash/mortuary/strip club. It makes perfect sense if these people are as connected as they want us to believe.
Here’s how it will go- Somebody makes the hit, gets Chris to wash the blood out of the car, Lauren can hide the bullet holes under pancake foundation and then the whole crew goes into the next room for some bada-bing. Everybody’s happy!
Lauren doesn’t do a bad job on her friend, but I kinda expect her to start belting out Love Is A Battlefield, though.
Punk is so avante garde, Gasmii! She needs to give Gia back her collar and leash, though.
Caroline shows up and cries because Lauren is about to graduate and succeed at something other than flinging ham and wielding a steamer on ivory sateen. I watch the flashback to last year when Caroline and Albert told her to get motivated and DO something and it’s refreshing to see. Thank goodness one of these women knows how to parent.
I guess that some people are just better equipped, or they wait until they are older and less likely to be selfish and stupid. That’s not the case with Jacqueline who is meeting with Ashley to discuss her behavior at the card game.
Ashley waltzes into the house with those damn sweatpants and hideous knit hat on. Doesn’t she know that she’s being filmed for TV? I’ve seen more attention to appearance from my grandma when all she was doing that day was alphabetizing seeds for her garden and waiting for Murder She Wrote to come on.
Ashley might as well slap on a housecoat and a Poise pantyliner for all the exuberance of youth she shows. If I look hard enough, I bet I could find some of my nona’s old stockings she can borrow and roll down into her Rockport ProWalkers on really hot days. Or how about one of those old douchebags that look like hot water bottles?
You can hang it over the shower curtain rod along with your ambition.
Chris tells her that she ruined his homo-erotic poker party and she says that she was embarrassed by her behavior, even apologizing to her tearful mommy. Yeah, right. It’s all a ploy because she wants to move back home, as she does later in this episode. They tell her to be more respectful in the future as they rub their hands in unison. Help me out, Gasmii sign language readers. Are they in synch
or did they catch something from Danielle at the petting zoo?
Elvira is a party planner. She is also an asshole. That is why I am glad she is paying a visit to Teresa. It couldn’t have happened to a nicer person.
She’s there to organize the Giudice’s housewarming party. If only it were as doomed as the Curtain housewarming in the O.C. It’s not, at least not yet, and Elvira nitpicks every little thing she finds wrong with Teresa and her house as subtly as a sledgehammer. That’s what it takes to get through to a backwards babboon, so no harm, no foul.
First of all, Teresa brags about how her home is spotless and how she does it all by herself with no ‘live-ins,’ just “me, myself and I.”
She is so full of shit.
She can’t afford any hired help so she guilts her basement dwelling mama into doing it. Why is she so pathological about claiming to be a stay at home superwoman? It has to be ingrained, like it is with so many gals in so many shitty macho households. I’m also guessing that it’s how she justifies her spending to her pygmy warthog husband. “I worked all day, I deserve this dye-mun encrusted hairbrush, an’ the match-in’ mirra.”
Oy, the mirra. We’ll get to that latah.
Elvira is shocked that she doesn’t have nannies and a driver and a maid and all that other stuff rich people need in order to have enough time for the really important things, like throwing frivolous parties and trying to get on reality shows. SHE sure does.
Too bad you left out those hair and make-up people.
She tells Teresa to get some help, and then they head out to the backyard where Elvira gives her more grief for not having a pool. Teresa’s excuse is that they have a shore house. Not now, you don’t! The bank took it, waaaah! Aw fuck. NOW where is Juicy gonna roofie succulent naive shore boys?
I guess he’ll just have to keep throwing that Situation mask over your face.
Elvira bugs her some more about getting help, then scoffs at the fact that they don’t even own a doormat. I’m willing to bet that nobody ever goes out to the backyard unless they have to fetch one of their troll babies out of a tree. And don’t worry about those frisky little scamp daughters of yours, Teresa. It’s no use, you can’t fight natural instincts.
I’m also willing to bet that they had a pool all picked out but no one would build it after word spread that they were deadbeats. Now the empty yard serves as a reminder of their opulent poverty. Oh well, at least they don’t have to worry about any Bellino style baby carriage accidents. Or can orangutans swim at birth? I need to brush up on my biology.
They go inside to take a look at the great room where Elvira is going to build Teresa a nightclub. It’s still as empty and pathetic as ever, a sure sign of living beyond your means.
But those wall sconces sure are nice. For a two star basement restaurant.
Don’t build it if you can’t fill it up. That’s how most people I know operate.
I am familiar with the Italian tradition of only buying what you are going to keep forever. You know, not picking up a cheap futon that you’re going to replace with a bed when you can afford it. That was from when our culture wasn’t so steeped expendable things, not to mention living in more modest houses.
I don’t think that the Giudice’s can use that excuse, not by a long shot. Didn’t the couches cost five figures? And they never sit in them! What the? They could have filled the whole room up with some decent stuff from Macy’s and Ikea.
Elvira continues her sniping, now with Teresa’s heavy front door gates of hell, which Teresa closes on her as she’s talking. I would have thrown that woman out after the pool remarks. Why didn’t Teresa? She must have gotten a ‘Bravo discount,’ as I like to call it. I don’t remember Elvira being listed along with the other bankruptcy creditors. Maybe Teresa had to pay up-front, and pulled some hundreds out of her hair for the down payment.
I bet they still have cash lying around. They just hide it now, preferring to rack up credit card bills that they have no intention of paying. It’s almost as disgusting as this next part is sad. Albie has ADD. Because of it, he couldn’t keep up in law school and they didn’t invite him back for a second semester. It’s weird. He had something like a 1.923 and he needed a 2.0.
He attended Seton Hall and I will hazard a guess as to why he was kicked out so quickly. The school probably knew of his sub-par learning disabled grades and LSATs and allowed him to attend on a probationary basis. He didn’t make the cut. A GUESS, people, just a guess.
He tells Caroline that the school (probably his dean) told him that perhaps he wasn’t cut out for law school. Maybe he should try something he doesn’t have to work three times as hard as everyone else to achieve.
This gets Caroline’s ire up and she gives him an uplifting mama bear speech about fighting hard for what you want and not allowing people to get you down. All well and good except for the fact that he had a chance and blew it. Now is the time to apply to a school that is not so picky. You can’t MAKE a university re-enroll you.
Unless you sue, and what a waste of time! Suck it up and move on.
Wow, was he sweating bullets. I don’t think he was too happy to be on TV admitting all that. he seems shamed by it. Ugh.
Sad head cock. Time for a sip of my Margarita. Shoot, I’m outta salt. Lend me some of those tears, eh, Manzo?
Later on, Al Senior says if Albie can’t survive this, then he doesn’t deserve to be a lawyer, all tough love-like. I’m all for it but how about actually discussing options and facts? I can’t really say anything else until I know what’s going on. He could do one thing, though. He could always send Juicy to South Orange to blow the dean.
He’s going to want some release after he sees his wife at Posche. What a dumb name, by the way. Not Porsche. Not Posh. Posche. What are the extra e and c for? I’m going to guess excessive and consumerist, and move on.
She and Jacqueline are shopping for some smart new duds to fit their baby busted bodies, bills be damned! Kim’s must be the only shoppe that caters to bankrupt ladies from reality shows, and she probably snorts up all her profits before closing one eye and picking out numbers Keno-style when she’s tallying up the sales at day’s end. So, who cares?
Talk inevitable turns to Danielle and Teresa gives Kim shit for going to the ladylike luncheon after her boyfriend said that she was a pig. Kim tells her that her decisions do not revolve around her boyfriend’s opinions, thankyouverymuch, so stick a sock in it, chinchilla chippy!
Psst, any unpaid subcontractors out there, I think this coat belongs to YOU.
Yep, she bought that. What do you think it cost? I’ll guess more than Gia’s party but less than Juicy spends in a month on gay porn.
Have you ever been to an Adult Mart? That stuff is not cheap! I’m scared to tell you what Mr. McSlore and I spent there last month. Let’s just say that I’ve had to cut back on the fine joorey lately, but not the booze. Heaven FORBID.
Kim tries to explain to Teresa that she went to Danielle’s party because Danielle is a customer, and that’s what you do. It’s called quid pro quo, Last of the Great Thinkers. Why do you think she’s going to YOUR stupid party? Reciprocity, and being on TV, of course.
And here comes another one. Sue, the owner of Diesel, Danielle’s future husband, is getting in her valuable air time by escorting old snitchypoo to the surgery center. She’s getting her new knockers today, and they’re going to be nice and symmetrical instead of looking like Frank Stella designed them.
She’s a bit woozy and the doctor jokes that these new implants will have a lifetime warranty. Great. She won’t have to come back to a plastic surgeon in a long, long time, especially since, as Danielle says, “mother nature has been very good to me.”
So you were born that beautiful?
That’s like the elephant man pointing at his facial deformities and going, “This? Oh, it’s just a pimple.” Speaking of deformities, they put her under and the specialist says that hers are the worst he’s ever seen. Give this man Leather’s number, pronto!
Nice sign too. I suppose with all the deadbeat grifters around they can’t afford new neon, or maybe the sign got a peek at Danielle’s tits and broke. Does Teresa live around there? I wonder if Milania got out of her cage again and threw rocks at it.
Good aim, lemur baby! now, go join the circus already so mama can pay her bills.
It’s sushi time for the Manzo’s and Albie is still feeling sorry for himself. Somebody came into the Brownnose and told Christopher that he was better looking. It was Danny so it doesn’t count, but Albie takes the news terribly hard. It gets worse. Much worse. Christopher is Al Senior’s favorite now! What’s a poor flunky to do?
I don’t know, take some adderall? Isn’t that what it’s for? Poor Albie. He’s got that oldest child chip on his shoulder. A lot is expected of him and he has to set an example while Christopher runs amok and Lauren fucks his best friend. Damn. Life is sucking HARD for him right now.
Things are upside down in his world, so let’s cheer him up with something as predictable as a Caroline head cock- Teresa’s lateness! She’s meeting Elvira at a party furniture warehouse and it isn’t her fault she didn’t make it on time! Gabriella had a late day at the organ grinder’s! People just don’t understand, sheesh.
The furniture looks like something Liberace jizzed out after humping King Tut’s tomb, so of course Teresa loves it. It couldn’t be any tackier if it was embossed with that very word. The entire town of Vegas is shuddering and Bobby Trendy is wondering how he can turn the chair into a cape.
But WHATEVER. We’re all just jealous, Teresa. Yeah, that’s it.
It’s time to set up the party and this Elvira person is fucking obnoxious. Unreal. She stands in the great Room with two assistants and than orders them to get off the floor because their presence is making it hard for her to think.
Were they there when you got dressed this morning too?
What a hellacious outfit! What is this, Casual Corner circa 1992? Not even. I’m going with 1989. Who wears sherbert colored leggings with a floral blouse, other than poverty stricken South American housekeepers? Is she stealing from her live-in? And will someone please knock that vase over. Unless Teresa is planning on planting Audrey II in it, it’s got to go.
Teresa runs off to get her hair done after Elvira dismisses her with a, “what do I need you for?” She promptly gets on the phone with Jacqueline who passes on a treacly disingenuous text that Eve sent to her in the hopes of getting invited. Teresa tells her that she can come even though she’s friends with Danielle because she (Teresa) is a nice person.
Yikes! It’s not nice to fool Mother Nature.
She asks her hairdresser, “Ain’t I a nice person?” and gets the least enthusiastic “yes” she’s heard since she asked Juicy that morning if he was happy with her blow job skills.
This party is obnoxious. Jacqueline arrives and says that it’s very Hollywood, probably because of the red carpet and the Disneyland haunted house accoutrements.
Red carpet doesn’t mean shit anymore, unless it’s at the Oscars. Jill Zarin and Tila Tequila do red carpets. Need I say more? Okay, even Tamra Barney had one for her daughter before she lost her house. Nuff said.
Juicy and Teresa are upstairs putting the finishing touches on their respective outfits. She is dressed to match the furniture and he pulled out his best figure skating blouse in honor of this illustrious occasion.
“Whut, you wanna twirl again, Juicy? Okay, but I refuse tuh wear duh Johnny Weir mask dis time.”
And look! Elvira gave them a funhouse mirror from an old boardwalk penny arcade. Is it supposed to make him look taller?
Cuz I’m going to go with wider.
What the fuck was that? Is Teresa’s ass so big that they had to order the Kardashian special from the Louis IV collection at Crate and Barrel? Or did it fall off a truck outside of Versaille? I have SO many questions.
How did they get it into the house? How do you even make a mirror that big, is it all one surface or do they use panels? If you step into it, will you meet Tim Curry dressed as Satan on the other side? Who wakes up one day and thinks, “I want a mirra the size of a Buick.” GOOD GOD. It’s still not big enough for all the Lohan’s to do coke off of, though. You’re going to need a couple more for that.
And all that hoopla just to make the great room look like a low rent club on West 6th. You Clevelanders know what I’m talking about. For all of the rest of my Gasmii babies, it’s basically the equivalent of a Chucky Cheese after dark. Only with more cheese. And more up-chucking.
They show a nice long shot of the room from above and I look around but can’t find Nona and Papa anywhere. They must be downstairs guarding the cages again. They added the extra swank touch of dressing waitresses up like Playboy bunnies. Do they have any idea that even Playboy mansion parties are completely passe? I’ve seen better dressed chicks in the movie Gummo.
What a hypocrite. She bashes Danielle for being a whore and then hires women to dress as sexist icons. It’s dumb, and which is it? I thought this was supposed to be a Studio 54 retread. Not even close.
Elvira runs up and compares the decor to being at The Bellagio. Those must have been some good mushrooms she took last time she went out there. I want some of those. For medicinal purposes, naturally. I have a tick that can only be fixed by hallucinating red and green trails and seeing who will blink first, me or the dog.
Eve is there. She took her Geritol and made sure her hearing aide has brand new batteries in it, so as not to miss a word of juicy gossip. She speaks to Jacqueline for a second with Caroline standing behind her making faces and rolling her sleeves up and down like she wants to hit her with a baseball bat and then throw her in the trunk of Bernie Kerik’s car.
That car wash/funeral home/strip club is looking better and better, isn’t it?
Eve came with Posche Kim and lets the entire room know that they shared an entire bottle of wine before they got there. Next thing you know, they are drinking from the same martini glass.
Tastes like Efferdent and duck fat.
You know it does. Have you seen Kim’s lips? She’s got an entire canard stuffed in there. Only weirdly not in the lips. In that spot between the upper lip and her nose. It’s practically the size of K-2. I don’t know how the entire glass doesn’t disappear under there, and here’s hoping that Eve’s teeth don’t fall into the glass. Awk-ward!
Juicy and Teresa dance like they’re at prom and Ashley calls him precious. Then a breakdancer dressed like a guy from Chippendales takes the floor. The guy is cut. I didn’t get to see a close-up but I heard that Juicy couldn’t get the Old Spice guy, so he went with this instead.
Invisible escalator, GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE.
Just in case you creditors were too busy puking in your non-marble and onyx bathrooms, next up is a fire breather. Indoors. Brilliant. How high are their ceilings? I sure hope that Milania is still climbing all over the place. Somebody’s going to need to get up there and clean the soot.
Don’t look so scared, ladies. He’s just practicing for Juicy later.
Toast time. I have to hand it to Teresa. She doesn’t disappoint. She SUCKS. She calls up Carolina and Jacqueline and then says that they’re the best. How witty. How clever. When you have a way with words like she does, a byline at the Atlantic Monthly is just around the corner. Maybe she should help Albie with his homework, huh?
Kim is trashed and rushes up to steal some of the spotlight. I have no idea what she said but I love a good drunk, so she gets a free pass. Chances are she ended up in a closet later, banging an umbrella stand and that’s okay with me.
Before her date with a parasol, she gets sidelined by Ashley talking trash about Danielle. Caroline overhears this and once again, somebody grabs her face. What is this? Grab a half-wit day? She’s not a freaking Pez dispenser.
“Open your mouth, Ash. Auntie Caroline wants a grape one.”
She tells her to shut it since this is Teresa’s party, and she does. Thank goodness she listens to somebody. I guess you have to physically touch her in order to get her attention.
After that mess, Eve takes Caroline aside and tries to tell her that Jacqueline is obsessed with Danielle. Is she high? Caroline shuts her down (yay, headcock!) and then Jacqueline shows her the hand after she sticks her loud boozy mouth in her face.
“Woman, wash your dentures and get back to me.”
She tells her that she’s upset, not obsessed and then reminds her that SHE’S the one always coming over to dish about Danielle, not the other way around. She walks away with the Kim posse grabbing at air behind her.
What a stupid party. I do have a suggestion, though. I like to help the Housewives with money making ideas when they are down and out, so if you are listening, Teresa, rent your place out! The Brownnose is over booked, take their extra catering jobs! You can get Nona and Papa to set the tables and serve. Ta-dah! Instant money! And lots of cash, nudge, nudge.
Anyway, that drama was NOTHING. Nothing at all. The big moment is only an episode away, so let’s slog through a lunch with Caroline and two of her sisters. The younger blonde one orders a coke with a splash of wine. Huh? Is that the Italian equivalent of red bull and vodka? It sounds disgusting.
They joke about who is prettier (we all know it’s Dina) and if I have to hear Caroline brag about how passionately they love and fight and laugh and fart ONE MORE TIME, I’m going to take a nice passionate dump on the doormat outside the Brownnose.
They chat about Albie’s ADD with caroline lamenting the fact that she can’t fight her children’s battles for them. Maybe not, but she sure can get us all drunk.
HEAD COCK, Woooooo!!!
Poor Caroline. Her empty nest, which hasn’t even happened yet, is freaking her out. I’m freaked out to, but not by that.
Why is that light fixture shaped like a uterus?
Is it a reminder that these ladies that lunch don’t have one anymore, or is Teresa selling off unwanted body parts to bankroll her lust for ugly clothing? Speaking of which, on the other side of town she and Jacqueline are in yet another restaurant waiting for Posche Kim to arrive.
Teresa says that she doesn’t want to hang around anyone that cause drama. SHE wants to be the one. It helps her take her mind off of how gross her husband is and how hard it is to live a sham of a life.
K-2 arrives and starts right in on the wine and the Danielle bashing. I don’t know which she likes more.
Gonna go with wine.
If she could get the sweet elixer down her throat with her nostrils too, you know she would. She tells the gals that Danielle is like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde and then invites them to a fashion show for her boutique. Teresa wants her to reassure her that she can be trusted since Danielle will be there too. As if! K-2 flares those nose holes and tells Teresa that she’s just like her, she tells it like it is, i.e.- I’m gonna talk behind all of you bitch’s backs and clean out your liquor cabinets while I’m at it.
She finishes her wine and leaves them with the check, clomping to the door like she’s scared she might lose her balance. I do not think that was her first glass of the day.
Jacqueline tells Teresa that she doesn’t want to go because “nothing good can come of this.” Teresa IS going because nothing good can come of this, only her excuse is the same one Kim used for going to the luncheon- she was invited and doesn’t want to be rude.
Kim must have gotten on the horn to everyone that they were coming because Danielle says that she got 16 texts telling her they were going. She wants to know why a friend of hers would invite her enemies. It’s called cameras, Beverly Merrill. Plus, plenty of people shop in that store, not just you, and they don’t need credit.
She drives over to confront Kim at her own store but ends up confronted with a busy receptionist on the phone. Danielle is incredibly rude to the poor woman, like she’s a servant that should drop everything and bow down before The Staub.
The woman is clearly a bit flustered and new but she sees the cameras, and she sure as hell knows who Danielle is, so it’s a bit of rudeness on both parts. She tells Danielle that Kim will be there any minute and Danielle interrupts her to take a call from Jillian, calling her youngest, “baby girl.”
Ick. I don’t know about you but I hate that cloying phrase. It’s phony and childish, especially when the child is over the age of three. I know, I’m not a mother, but I still don’t like it. It also reminds me of cheesy R&B singers that use the phrase to get into a girl’s pants while their baby mama is sitting by a phone somewhere waiting for him to come home with some money for formula.
Danielle tells Jillian that the receptionist was rude to her. What does she care? She has that book report on The Uglies to write, and is busy worrying about how badly Jimmy is going to razz her tomorrow for having a mom that looks like the clown in IT.
Danielle steps back inside and tells the chick to have Kim call her without telling the woman who she is. Guess what, Danielle. There are people on the planet that have NO IDEA who you are. 99.9999% of them, as a matter of fact, don’t know who ANY of you are. Your shit stinks just as bad as anyone else’s AND it probably has genital warts on it.
I’m sorry. I went too far. Let me explain, I have five dogs again. I am picking up a lot of poop these days. My mind just goes there the same way Teresa’s goes to flinging it at people.
Danielle must have blown enough turd street thugs to pay her bills because she whines about being a paying customer that shouldn’t have been treated so poorly, even going so far as to say that she should have given the girl the finger. I’d love to hear her justify to Jillian and Christine why mommy is doing that on TV.
We’re Sicilian. This is how we say hi.
Kim gets back from paying her water bill and they laugh about the receptionist’s story. Why didn’t she mail it? Was it late because she misplaced it on the way to the mailbox? I wouldn’t put it past her.
She calls Danielle to tell her that and Danielle accuses her of lying and then hangs up. I don’t know who is fucking with who anymore but I don’t trust either of these famewhores. Talk about hypersensitive! Sheesh.
Danielle comes back to the store to lecture Kim on the merits of making her employees kiss her ass when they see her and then says that she won’t be taking any clothing on credit anymore SO THERE. Kim tells her to take the stick out of her ass and lighten it up, I mean lighten up, and Danielle tries to pick a fight. Kim shows her the door.
Honey, change your phone number and get a steel mailbox. You could be next.
Brilliant. Pick a fight over a half imagined slight and lose the only place that will give your kids school clothes before Christine’s modeling check clears. Now who’s going to pay for them? Diesel? Coke Eyed John or Jumpy Chump Danny? Oh, that’s right. her sex tape is going to outsell Kendra’s. My bad!
Caroline isn’t as crazy but she sure does have a bee in her bonnet about being stuck with an empty house she’s badgering Al about retiring so that she won’t be alone. He tells her to get a job and then asks if she wants to have another baby. Haha, what a comedian!
“Quit? Who’s gonna blow me at lunch? You? One head cock and I’m castrated.”
‘Yeah, you gotta point there…”
He says he might slow down, but he plans on dying while working. You’re not freaking Captain Phil Harris, dude. You run a catering establishment. Caroline cries over her children some more. Someone’s getting visited by the menopause fairy. Allow me to suggest you volunteer at the local hospital, or get your own ladybug charity, Dina style. You do not want to be around your man all day, begging for attention, not unless you want him to find a Routine Blow Job Dispenser among the pretty servers at The Brownnose.
I wonder if any of them will be in the fashion show. Ashley is. She’s at Posche trying on her outfits. We flashback to her modeling shoot last year where she was awkward and self conscious. She’s no Christine, but she’ll do for New Jersey,
or they could send the dog down the runway instead. I bet she has less hair.
Our vignette is quite charming, really. Teresa and Jacqueline are trying to work off some of that baby weight as C.J. silently listens in by the banister. I shudder to think of all the knowledge of puffy chuckies and inflated bubbies he is absorbing on a daily basis.
Teresa fixes her cameltoe and I recall something she said earlier about having a son of her own. Something about dressing him up in effeminate clothing. She never had that son of her own.
So now you want to turn Jacqueline’s son gay instead?
Nasty. She talks about sex more than anyone on any of these shows! Methinks she doth protest too much. I bet she hates it. I bet she never has an orgasm. That swollen dwarf musclehead probably has no idea what a clitoris is and couldn’t find it if you tattooed directions on Teresa’s labia. Oh, that’s right. That would be like putting a bumper sticker on a Bentley. Hey, I’ve got one for her!
K-2 isn’t happy about her spat with Danielle so she calls her to bury the hatchet and come to the show. She says that she won’t let anything bad happen to her since it’s at a country club. Um, have you ever belonged to a country club? I have. Saying that nothing bad happens there is like comparing District 9 to Meatballs.
Swinging, extra special service from locker room attendants and wife beating, just to nam a few. If Danielle thinks she’ll be safe because the counrty club is in her neck of the woods, she’s nuts. I don’t believe that Kim is setting her up but what do I know? My liver isn’t shaped like a Thanksgiving turkey.
The only reason I’m going to mention Caroline’s advice to Teresa and Jacqueline is to point out Teresa’s hypocrisy. She tells them that the only way to win with Danielle is to do nothing, and Teresa says, “You know me, she doesn’t even phase me.” LIE.
She pretends to be above it but she cares A LOT. Those little barbs she doles out in interviews are as carefully thought out as every bill she racked up with no intention of paying. She hates the way Danielle condescends to her. She hates the fact that her husband is bankrupt and pretty soon, all of New Jersey and America is going to know it. She has rage inside her and the bully in her has picked Danielle to dump it on.
Stupid people pick easy targets, and stupid people go to jail, let’s not forget. Caroline also told Jacqueline to drag her idiot daughter out of there if she starts any shit. This is another person that has fixated all her anger and need to feel superior on Danielle. Geez, she’s a lightening rod for every loser in New Jersey. I’d move.
This show could really use a Sonja. Instead we have Eve, arriving at Danielle’s without her pants on. Maybe she left them in the back seat after her quickie with the driver?
Driving Miss Crazy
She enters the house to find Danielle in a conundrum over which pair of hooker boots to wear.
“Whaddya think, Eve? The ones from my burlesque days, or the ones I bought with Christine’s modeling money?”
She says she’s wearing heels because she doesn’t expect to be running from anyone since this soiree is on her turf. What is this? The Beat It video? Somebody better break into some swishy knife fights soon, or I want my money back.
Close enough.
Ashley arrives at the country club to get her make-up done. She’s excited but afraid to trip and fall. She says that she’s going to try and stay away from Danielle. I hope she uses the ten bucks she earns from this show to buy herself some Pro-Active.
Or inmate vagina juices. I hear those work too.
Teresa and Jacqueline arrive, all excited for an evening of fashion and fun. They’re wearing fur, of course. No PETA housewives who would rather go naked around here.
THANK GOD.
They sit right next to Kim at the table of honor. She tells them that Danielle will be sitting at the table directly across from them. Who did these seating arrangements, Miss Andy? This is not good.
They drink. They drink a lot. This is not good either.
Teresa asks Kim if she’s going to say hello to Danielle. Are you serious? The last time anyone asked me that was in the lunchroom, and the girl that said it was trying to bully me into de-friending someone. God, Teresa. Try something new. You’re almost 40, for crying out loud.
Danielle is to Teresa as Bethenny is to Leather. It’s an unhealthy obsession that makes you do stupid things and show your true colors. Don’t think for one second that Danielle just brings out the worst in Teresa. People that nag you to tell them that they’re nice, aren’t ever nice, EVER.
Danielle walks in with a new bodyguard named Dennis since Eve didn’t like the way that Danny handled things at The Brownnose. Eve is totally checking out his package.
Easy, granny panties. You’ll run out of Zestra and it isn’t even 8 o’clock yet.
They walk into the room with Crazy Joker Face eying the place like she owns the joint. It’s a low rent fashion show, Groinpurse, not a cotillion! What a drama queen. She sees Teresa and Jacqueling book-ending Kim and is understandably upset. Albie’s gay friend from college is inexplicably there as well.
“Don’t worry, girl. I’ll protect you til Juicy gets here for our date.”
Danielle says that they are desperate to get back at her by befirending her friend.
That may be partially true but Kim came to THEM. Plus, don’t they already know Kim’s boyfriend? Isn’t that why they were at the party for the Sheriff’s Department? Danielle doesn’t worry about that. She says that a real friend would not break bread with them, and boy. You’d think she’d be examining that shitty record she has with real friends by now, wouldn’t you?
Meanwhile, it’s date night for Caroline and Al. He’s still being a comedian, saying that Lauren will be the first to pop out kids unless Christopher beats her to it with some illegitimate ones. Yuck it up, buddy. I would love to see your face when you find out your daughter-in-law is a stripper.
And who picked out your shirt? Teresa?
Blah, blah, blah about Al retiring. Then……….
Head cock with thumbs. That’s worth a shot too, right?
Back at the fashion show for Petries’ most exclusive line of casuals for walking deserted highways and meat packing districts, a vision of beauty walks down the runway.
Snooki, is that you?
Nope, not orange enough.
Who’s bright idea was that? Come on. I think it was a big joke. I HOPE it was. I’d check the Bravo blogs but I don’t read those anymore. Danielle’s was scaring me and Caroline’s were point by point refutations of everything her family’s nemesis said. SHE should be the fucking lawyer. I’d rather read the money market reports, right down to the fine print about how i would be better off investing in gnip gnops or Chinese hair extensions.
Danielle din’t clap when the Emcee mispronounced Kim’s name and said “DePayola.”
I kinda love it, though. Fits the broad.
Instead she whipped out her phone and started texting to one of her tricks, or maybe it was the CDC. Gotta check up on those lab results. They demand a clean screen before they let you blow ugly guys on ‘film’ in ‘movies.’
“Hello, Danny? Those oozing sores? I lied. They weren’t from one of Dina’s spells.”
Some grey acid wash jeans go down the runway and Teresa’s tongue starts looling in the corner of her mouth. She screeches, “I want those, I want those,” because they remind her of a time long ago when big hair was cool and being popular meant never having the bank take your shore house away from you.
Since texting didn’t get anyone’s attention, they’re all WATCHING THE SHOW, Danielle resorts to pretending to talk to someone on it. She claims it’s the ultimate diss, a tick she learned from paris Hilton. That’s right, “Paris Hilton taught me that.”
No. No, she didn’t. Paris Hilton got caught on camera doing that in the front row of Pamela Rolland’s fashion show. She was lambasted for it. It wasn’t a diss! All it did was ensure that she wouldn’t ever be invited to sit in the front row again. Tell me. When was the last time you saw a picture of her in one of those super exclusive front rows? Exactly. Can you say blackballed, anyone?
Besides, Danielle isn’t even in the front row! She’s got her back against the wall in a dingy catering room at a country club. I will give her extra points for dropping the name of a fellow valtrex user. Way to stick together as you infect the world like flesh eating bacteria in human form.
Now she insults the models, saying that they can’t walk for shit and aren’t worth her attention. Ashley comes out and walks awkwardly, blowing her mother a kiss and throwing Danielle a childish smirk. This is Danielle’s response.
Yeah, that’ll get you sympathy and help your lawsuit. You are doing exactly the same shit that you accuse her of doing. Danielle’s comment was vile, and I, for one, do not wish to feed this fame seeking shallow monster anymore, and once these recaps are over, these women are over for me. There are no winners here, and the bad behavior isn’t fun, a la Bad Girl’s Club. it’s gross and desperate and makes me more mean than funny when I write this shit.
Sorry, guys. I’m going to go off on a tangent here before I pick this story up next week with Teresa baiting Danielle and the melee that followed.
I think that Bravo needs to step back and think about the people they hire to appear on these shows. Do any of you remember when I was recapping Megan Wants A Millionaire last summer when that asshole on the show chopped his wife into pieces and threw her into a dumpster to rot? Even VH1 had to vet their contestants more thoroughly after that.
I suggest Miss Andy, et al, do the same. This is getting out of control with all the assault charges, lawsuits and people going to jail. I don’t have fun watching it and if it returns, I don’t know if I can recap it. It’s one thing to watch it when there’s nothing else on but I’m starting to feel the same disgust I got towards the end of Sober Living.
I start to wonder if I’m not becoming part of the problem because I’m tuning into this shit, instead of trying to point out the transparent whoring out of addictions and mental illness that passes for programming these days. It makes me sick.
I really noticed it last night when I went from this show to Deadliest Catch. It probably wasn’t wise on my part to go from one to the other, but I watch it every week with Mr. McSlore. Those guys are amazing and contribute to my life every time I eat crab, which is a lot. They risk their lives for it. These women don’t contribute anything to my life but heartburn and disgust. God, I hope the DC women aren’t so morally corrupt.
Ugh! I apologize again for the rant but it’s been weighing on me. Plus, I have PMS. Yes, I will play that card, and I don’t care who knows it! I get it BAD. Maybe I should yank it out and make a wall sconce out of it.
Love and Kisses,
Twunty McSlore
TV Social
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129 Comments
I always have all these comments flying around my head about this, but then when it comes time to actually do something about that. Should I jus complain about how this show causes me to “think”, and that I can’t find a way to get my thoughts out.
Perhaps I should go talk to a Priest, so I can pray for all those people who are trying to keep me from writing a witty and insightful comment or maybe I need only the help that Jen Zen can give. Maybe she will make me a bracelet if I ask nice and I pet Grandma whiskers for her.
I do remember wanting to talk about the horrors that are Danielle’s, Teresa’s, Ashley’s and to an extent Jacqueline blogs. Grammar and sentence structure is the least of these ladies problems. I feel like they are trying so hard to come off sounding smart and intelligent, but they aren’t skilled enough writers to hide their truly shallow natures. Dina & Mama Manzo’s are a tad better, but they are still very transpiration. The plugs are great, however, none of the housewives from any season have figured out how to fitness the plug.
Not that it matter but I will try to come back with something more insightful in regards to the episodes.
Danielle has the skinniest legs I’ve ever seen. They’re “lucky legs”, lucky they don’t snap off and go up her a$$. Actually, I think they do snap off in the next episode…She reminds me of a spider.
I really don’t think there was anything genuine or innocent about Teresa’s attempt to say hi to Danielle. I guess after/during the fashion show, Kim G told Jacqueline & Teresa everything that Danielle was saying the entire time. I wonder if that had anything to do with Teresa’s sudden desire to shoot the breeze with Dani.
twunty, I left you a message on the last recap, but I don’t know if you saw it. I hate that this is leaving such a bad taste in your mouth, but I can see how it’s turning into something different. With no one to truly likeable, and now the Kim’s hunger for tv time at any cost it really is taking some of the fun out.
Danielle reminds me a lot of the woman my father married, watching her doesn’t make me laugh, it reminds me how many unstable people are among us.
What I do think would be most entertaining would be an allstar get together featuring ALL the “housewives”. Perhaps they could go take a field trip at a prison or a wal-mart…you know, something “common”
I hear what you’re saying Twunty, these shows are becoming a bit of a grind. It stops being funny when the consequences spill over into real life and people, no matter how screwed up they are, become the walking wounded.
Danielle is clearly sick and that would be okay if it was only her life being portrayed, but her kids are being exposed to too much through the show, as well as Danielle’s inability to handle the show dynamics. I can’t imagine there haven’t been repercussions from their peers, or the parents of their friends who view Danielle as too unstable or dangerous to continue to allow their kids to socialize with Christine and Jillian.
Teresa is just as sick as Danielle, and she’s a lot more aggressive. I don’t know why the other women think she’s funny; she’s crude, crass, loud and disrespectful. The “always late” thing drives me up the wall. The former BFF, I’ve mentioned before, used to pull that shit. She once called me to meet her for lunch “in 20 minutes”, meanwhile she stopped off to screw her non-BF slam-piece, and left me waiting for over TWO hours. She didn’t work, I did – pre-cell phone era. I HATED her for it. It dawned on me while I sat and felt bad for screwing the waitress out of turning her table a few times – she didn’t respect me. My time simply wasn’t as valuable as hers – no one could possibly think MY time was worth anything so it was okay for her to waste it. I was walking out as she showed up, I blew up on the sidewalk. After that, I had the 10 minute rule: If she didn’t show, wasn’t ready, wasn’t in the car, at the table, etc., I left. That was it – even if I WANTED to do whatever we planned I walked out, because I would be damned if that bitch would ever disrespect my time again. Mutual friends who still tolerate her STILL complain about it. Chronic lateness is a HUGE red flag for me, particularly in the cell phone age.
Jacqueline needs to pull Ashley off of the show, and demand counseling for her. The girl has no boundaries, and attacking an adult under ANY circumstances is a serious problem. I cannot even imagine, in my wildest dreams, going after one of my mother’s contemporaries on any level. This girl is so out of control and inappropriate she’s unmanageable. I think Caroline Manzo recognizes it, and even though she kind of defends her (she’s protecting her family, etc.) I think this girl has been a source of friction and ill-will between the women, and that’s why Jacqueline initially gravitated toward Danielle. Dina and Caroline disapprove of her situation with Ashley.
That party was nauseating in light of the Giudices’ financial fraud, but I’ve bitched about that for weeks so I’ll shut up about it. But again, why was ASHLEY there? Totally inappropriate venue for an underage teenager, and the Laurita’s can’t have it both ways – they need to set boundaries consistently.
The country club scene was unreal, and you’re right Twunty – LOL, I’ve seen UNBELIEVABLE shit go down at a few too. Bored women, limitless bar tabs, trophy wives and tennis pros – Bravo should do a show about that!! Regardless, the NJ housebitches aren’t country club material – they played that scene out as GUESTS. Way to keep it classy, skanks.
BTW – That vest Teresa was wearing was Chinchilla, probably retailed for about $10K at least. That scum-hole spent around $50K during this episode.
Albie seems like a decent kid, I hope thing work out for him. Lauren does too. At least the Manzo kids seem to genuinely love and respect their parents – maybe a few judicious beah-ins really do pay off.
Hang in there on the raging PMS, I get it too – but as my friend just pointed out, menopause is lurking right around the corner. yay.
OH!! Am I imagining it or did Caroline look a LOT tinier at the Giudice’s party than in her scenes with her sisters and Albie, Sr.?
Also red wine and Coke?? YUCK. I keep thinking up irreverent names for it involving Jesus and cocaine… Yep, my elevator’s going down.
Prodigal, never considered Ashley causing friction with Chris’s family. Growing up surrounded by Jersey Italians, I can’t tell you how many times I heard “blood is thicker then water”. Ashley is an outsider, she’s Jaqueline’s and they won’t forget that.
As a teacher and administrator, I can’t tell you how frustrating it is to deal with parents who think their kids can do anything. Some kids have learning disabilities and with extra effort can hold their own. A lot require so much extra effort, that you wished they and the parents would reconsider their dreams of Harvard and Yale. Some kids are just not smart. They have gotten good grades because they are nice, they go the extra effort and include nice pictures in their book reports and they do all the social things they are supposed to do. So their elementary and middle school teachers give them a B and pass them on. Then they get to high school and they try to balance equations, solve for x, or analyze Homer, and a pretty picture and report cover aren’t cutting it anymore. Then they and their parents ask you to write a recommendation for a top tier or even medium tier school and I’m left thinking, “you’ll be lucky not to flunk out of JC”. Gosh forbid you say anything, then you’re destroying their self esteem, or “who are you to tell my kid what they can do?” And I’m thinking I’m the women who has spent countless hours trying to explain single versus double replacement reactions to your kid that still has no idea! And you think they’re going to be a doctor????? As a mom of an autistic child, I’m sorry about Albie’s learning disability, but if he can’t make it through the basic law courses, I don’t want him defending me, litigating for me and asking the judge for more time because he has ADD.
The party, she may have spent a ton of money, but it still had the same vibe as a basement shindig. Maybe it was the camera angles, filming from above and all.
I know its from this weeks episode, but if I don’t comment now, I will forget. Did anyone else see the chess set in the guidice’s basement this week? It was set up like they were playing checkers with the pieces.
And Ms Twunty, me thinks you are baiting someone!
Yeah this show has quickly changed from slightly entertaining to totally disturbing. I will say that either in Jacqueline or Teresa’s blog they said that they didn’t buy the furs that they were loaned from Kim. Whether or not its true is another story. Another incident to show how vile Teresa is was when she visited Elvira’s house just so she could put it down. She nitpicked every little thing and even offered to give her the number to her railing guy! The one I’m sure she didn’t pay for his services. She only talks about Danielle so much because she sees so much of herself in her. She could have been Danielle if she wasn’t lucky enough to marry a husband who would rather be with a neanderthal than admit his tuitty fruitty ways. I wonder what Bravo will do with this pile of stuff that Teresa’s brats like to sling.
Twunty, you don’t have to apologize to us. I have found these “woman” disturbing for quite some time. How they are not as sick of listening to themselves as we are of listening to them bash Danielle, is beyond my comprehension. BTW, menopause sucks just as much as PMS.
To Teresa – Winners never quit and quitters never win. If you never win AND never quite, then you’re just a fucking idiot.
*quit* not quite – dammit.
@chemgal: “Ashley is an outsider, she’s Jaqueline’s and they won’t forget that.” I think you’re right, which in a way makes me feel bad for Ashley because that can’t be easy in a family like that, but her behavior makes it impossible to truly sympathize with her. I really don’t like Caroline Manzo, but once again she advises distance and anticipates inappropriate behavior from Ashley. I wonder what she really thinks of Teresa? The Manzos aren’t ashamed of their roots, but they obviously value status and good standing in the community – Teresa’s a complete social liability, even before their financial meltdown.
I agree with you on the reality of LDs too. The parents’ unrealistic expectations can be the tipping point on self-esteem issues too, I think. In Albie’s case though, I think if he wants an opportunity to go to law school and he can figure it out than he should go for it. My cousin has (mild) Tourette’s Syndrome and she went to law school knowing she could probably not function in front of a judge or take clients. What she ended up doing was working on Capital Hill vetting, disseminating and summarizing legal documents for Congress. You’re right though, Albie is probably not going to be able to keep up with law school, but maybe the fight will lead him to something else that he can do well in. I almost feel like I have to root for him, because there isn’t anyone else to root for in this cluster-fuck of a show.
I just finished watching the new episode too… I noticed the chess set but don’t play, so all I noticed is that it looked like more expensive shit they don’t need, LOL.
@shantigal – I’m not looking forward to menopause either. I just had a birthday, and I couldn’t tell if I was having a hot flash or it was the fact that there was a fucking bonfire sitting on top of my cake. I needed a fire extinguisher to put it out, then I wished for 10 more years of synthetic lube-free sex. I’ll settle for 5.
OMG – I’ve been busy and didn’t read the last comments on the last recap until just now. WTF?!?! What a freakshow – you guys are so awesome, and these recaps are great. ummmm = ughhhhhh.
Twunty,
I get where you’re coming from regarding this show. I think it’s probably tripled in effect given the season of RHONY. The fact that Danielle is obviously insane yet still on this show is beyond words. And don’t even get me started on CroMagnum woman. What a vile bully.
“I’ve seen better dressed chicks in the movie Gummo.” Bwahahahahaha! Not only is that hilarious because it’s true, but I love you for being the only other person I know that’s seen that movie.
Thanks for another great week. You are as awesome as Teresa is vile.
SWAK, PottyMouth
These shows have really become nothing but an opportunity for these women to hawk their books, their businesses, their friends, children and shady associates, so I suspect they don’t pay for much of anything once they make it on the show. On Danielle’s blog on BravoTV, she plugs virtually everyone she comes in contact with, usually directing people to her Facebook or Twitter links. She also acknowledged a couple of Doctors and and a plastic surgery clinic in her last blog, so I suspect “promotional consideration” might cover the massive and ongoing reconstruction efforts going on to rebuild her face and body. Kind of a one woman T.A.R.P.!
I have endometriosis, so my pms (actually pmdd) is 24/7. yep.
so I can definitely empathize, lady.
I have noticed the fact that your recaps have been a lot meaner rather than funnier lately, but I didn’t want to jump all over you for it so I’m glad you acknowledged it here. you are so witty & intelligent, I honestly think that these women do not deserve you to be writing anything about them, scathing or not. they are all horrid. I keep trying not to watch it, and then it comes on and I’m like “eh ..” then I kick myself for watching it the whole time because they’re so awful.
I can’t even begin to say how refreshing it is to see Bethenny having such a great time away from the housewives franchise. has anyone else noticed how drama-FREE her show is? yeah, her & Jason have their moments, but it is nothing like all of this crap.
I DO remember your MMAM recaps & that whole ultra-creepy situation! I really liked the show & when it just went off the air I was very befuddled until I went here & read your recaps about it. ugh. but, unfortunately, the fact of the matter is that they could do all the screening in the world & a psychopath could still slip in through the cracks. plus, they WANT weird & dramatic people since it bring in more ratings. all of the fights & police are what mainstream america (read: ignorant & programmed) wants. we have replaced Jerry Springer with reality t.v.
I’m kind of looking forward to the housewives of d.c. & beverly hills, simply because there will be fresh blood & maybe more female camaraderie than bickering. I doubt it, but we shall see. the d.c. preview looks horrible though so I don’t think I’ll be too interested in it. the fubar face of the mutated Kathleen Turner look-alike might be enough to keep me watching though, haha!
and I can’t wait for next season’s atl. god, I miss Nene & Kim & Kandi. them, Bethenny & Sonja should all go on a comedy/musical tour together. I’d totally be a groupie for them!
Twunty, I don’t know how you make this shit shine, but you do. I thought that my fav line was “Chances are she ended up in a closet later, banging an umbrella stand and that’s okay with me.” but then along came “Driving Miss Crazy”. All I can say, is lubs you sistah!
Robinez has dubbed Theresa the Ape Woman “Bankruptcy Whore” based on a comment from a friend of hers. I say we stick with it, it’s perfect.
I attended an event recently where Elvira was receiving an award. Trust me, she is every bit as crazy and obnoxious when cameras aren’t rolling. The audience didn’t quite boo her off the stage, but they began talking over her speech and yelling for the entertainment that was to follow. What I wonder, is who would hire this woman? She was insulting, obnoxious and egotistical to both Bankruptcy Whore and Bethenny. The only reason BW didn’t throw her off the mortgaged-to-the-hilt-and-in-default porch was that I’m sure Bravo paid for the party. And she deserved the Cheese Fest it was!
Chemgal, right on sister. I like Albie and feel sorry for him, but if he is not able to handle law school then perhaps he should look elsewhere for a career. Or go on more of a part time basis. Personally, not sure I want my lawyer to have a LD, but as Cheez later pointed out there may be other things he can do in law where it won’t affect him.
Was anyone else shocked to discover that Caroline was not the eldest in the “fambily”? The way she carries on about watching out for Chris and Dina and her siblings like a Mama bear, and dishing out opinions and unsolicted advice made me think she had to be the oldest.
Add me to the list of those who HATE latecomers. Yes, it’s all about you and your time is so much more valuable than mine. I dropped a friendship because I was tired of sitting down to dinner at 11pm when our meeting time was 7pm – the lateness was indicitive of an “I’m better and more important than you” attitude that I realized once I cut back on our outings.
Danielle is so clearly delusional it’s not even fun to make fun of her anymore. Her behavior at the show was rude and nasty, but of course along came Theresa, down out of the trees clad in her best fur loincloth to outdo her in the no class, shit stirring bitch department. She goes after Danielle like a bully, and although I don’t like Danielle Theresa is the one to blame for the altercation.
Twunty, I feel your pain. I no longer enjoy watching this show – I get knots in my stomach over the drama. Really not sure if I will be back after this season. The ladies are getting boring. All of the ho shows are getting into one-upmanship. There was wig snatching on Atlanta? Then we have to pull out a weave on NJ! It’s partially Bravo’s fault, and I’m sure the ladies “contribute” to the drama to keep them on the shows (anyone remember DeShawn??? Anyone????). At this rate, it won’t be long before there is a knife fight or a Bitch wine bottle broken over someone’s head.
@Betty Lane – I said in the first recap this season that these morons are not worthy of Twunty’s genius. Twunty, I feel for ya. You really have had some doozies to recap haven’t you? I had forgot about the Megan Mess then Celeb Rehab, now house whores? OY! I think I first found you with the Daisy of Love recaps – trainwreckalicious.
It’s almost over, isn’t it? It’s just got to be.
I read on Bankruptcy Whore’s blog that we are only half way through the season. I don’t know if I will be watching any more guys it just isn’t fun. There’s no other story line outside of not liking Danielle.
The situation with Albie is a tough one. I went through a similar situation where I was working and I wasn’t doing a good job. It wasn’t because I wasn’t working hard but it was because I just did not get it, and as a result I was fired. My mother told me flat out that maybe I should look into a different line of work that focused on my strengths instead of something that put a glaring light on my weaknesses. She was right. (I hate that she’s always right) I chose something in the same field but a little less detail oriented and I am currently flourishing.
I have been reading the blogs and these women refused to take responsibility for anything. I can understand Ashley but to watch what happened and to still say that you did nothing wrong is insane.
Thanks again Twunts for the recap I know this next one is going to be awful.
I guess I don’t get why some think Ashley is an outcast in the family. I don’t see that. Didn’t Jacqueline say she has been with Chris since Ashley was 5? I think Ashley is a spoiled brat and I believe Chris contributed to that. He was probably just as passive a parent as Jacqueline has been or he has the mentality the woman raises the kids and he does his own thing until needed (for discipline). Ashley was an only child for awhile until CJ came along and bet she was getting pretty spoiled. I too think her parents should yank her off this show, but i guess since she is supposedly an adult, they don’t get a choice in the matter. Why Bravo felt it necessary to give her more screen time is beyond me. I think Ashley is a moron and I usually seeth when she is on, the outfits don’t help either……
As for the workout scene, once again I call shenanigans. Teresa’s natural tendency is to run to fat, she is not naturally skinny. First, she claims not to exercise to try and market her book. She can try and say she is thinner because of her recipes. Second, she strikes me as a saboteur. She claims not to work out to try and convince her “friends” not to as secretly, she is working her ass off. Everything is a competition with this broad. Jacqueline I believe because she looks like a gal that carries her weight very well and unless Chris is pissing and moaning about her weight, she has no reason to work out.
Does anyone else get the impression that Danielle sees her interviews as monologues, like she’s constantly auditioning for “The Godfather: Part 4″ in her mind? And since my eyes hurt from all the eye rolling I do doing her monologues, can I have her arrested for assault?
And I’ll say it again-comparing Teresa to an ape is an insult to all apes. They are never late for appointments and I’ve never seen one default on a loan or talk about their puffy chucky.
@classy drunk – if this is only half of the season, I don’t know how much more I can take. I may just stick with Twunty’s amazingly witty re-caps.
Bankruptcy Whore is just as bad as Danielle…maybe worse. Danielle is bat-shit crazy, and dangerous to boot. But Teresa “thinks” she is justified and by her logic a nice person. Teresa is a stone throw away from being Danielle. I think Danielle knows what she is doing. From what I get watching Danielle…she is a con-artist. Calculated and cunning, but deep down she knows she’s a bad seed. These women just need to go away and die in a grease fire…they make me sick. Of the whole Jersey lot Caroline is the only one I don’t hate. That’s not to say I actually like her.
I don’t want to rant (I know I have said this before) but Bravo skating on very thin ice. As Betty Lane already pointed out VH1 had that whole issue with a contestant that murdered his wife (granted it was after the show had filmed) but there needs to be some kind of screening process.
I don’t believe for a second that Bravo had no idea that Danielle had a questionable past. I’d bet good money that some production/crew member tipped off one of the fellow housewives to stir up drama on the dud of a show. When Teresa was spending cash Season 1 hand over fist, the production crew had to know something. The producers/casting agents are looking for these things because it will make for drama.
I think Bravo’s problem is that they are turning into their own version of Jill Zarin. They like the added ratings boot, and notoriety and they figure “no such thing as bad press”. I think there are many people still hanging on to these shows by a thread. Almost ready to quit the series, but not quite. If they don’t reign in the trash television their audience will turn on them. The difference is when the viewing audience gets tired of a show’s antics they don’t pick sides…they change the channel all together.
I honestly think Bravo’s tipping point will be how they handle the Kelly Bensimon situation. I know I have stated this previously; Kelly thinks she is fine and she clearly isn’t. If she doesn’t get help she needs to be fired…because she becomes a liability.
The very idea that the new DC housewives include Michaele Salahi in the cast is appalling. She and her husband should not be getting any notoriety for their social climbing (and illegal) antics. Bravo putting them on air (and promoting) the event is disgusting. I may come for the recaps and the banter of the commenters here but I refuse to watch the show.
Twunty’s recaps crack me up (and most of the time provide a bit of escape here at work). So I can’t say goodbye to that.
Ughh so much for not ranting.
Twunty: Excellent as always. How can I not look forward to the show, yet check tvgasm three times a day for your recaps?!
You should google Juicy; you’re right on about them hiding assets. Their creditors are way ahead of us, apparently. But at least now we know why the house is so huge, they had to have some place to put the mirror.
As nails on a chalkboard irritating as Elvira was, it was kinda awesome to watch her waltz through Teresas house and just pick it apart and to have Teresa be bullied for a change. You could tell how knocked off her game she was to have someone actually NOT be impressed by her home.
I’ve noticed, regarding Ol’ HEADCOCK: If she tilts to (our) right, that’s, “See I told you so.”/ “I’m the wisest of them all.” If she tilts (our) left, then it’s, false modesty/ maybe gonna get all weepy now.
Prodigal Cheez: Totally agree with you about Ashley. She is waaay to “into” the spotlight this show has put her under and she clearly views all of it as positive. Her family= The Good Guys, so in her mind her behavior towards Danielle is totally justified. Earlier, I would have said, based on her age, that she’s just an idiot, but the more I watch her, what she is is a young Danielle.
Chemgal: Ummmm, who do you think Twunts is trying to bait? Me don’t get. Me confused.
I just saw an online piece from Intouch Weekly regarding Theresa showing off her mansion proudly, despite it being close to foreclosure (not at all mentioned in the article, of course). It’s like she is the Emperor’s New Clothes fairytale in present day. “If I pretend to still be rich, I will remain rich and no one will know the truth” Here’s the link: http://www.intouchweekly.com/2010/07/in_touch_exclusive_photosteres.php
I claim to be a certified slap therapist! I’ll start with Ashley, then work on her mom and then take on Theresa. I will not attempt Danielle, she is surrounded by too many goons!
Please Bravo, stop catering to lowest common denominator (Theresa).
I recently underwent a complete hysterectomy via robotic surgery as did my 80 year old mother. We are both doing great and I can recommend it. In my case it meant instant menopause, but I am getting a very low dose of estrogen which helps. I too thought the lamp looked like a uterus!
@skatt – “Chemgal: Ummmm, who do you think Twunts is trying to bait? Me don’t get. Me confused.”
I wondered that too, then took a stroll over the last RHONJ recap – so of course I HAD to weigh in… LOL.
Sooo…. we’re all peri-menopausal, or close to it? I feel like I found a bunch of long-lost sisters!! LOL, can we use it as an excuse to be bitches? Oh, and BTW Twunty – I don’t think you’re mean in your recaps, I think you’re recapping mean women. There’s a big difference, you’re just reporting on the hate and dysfunction, not adding to it…. anyway, I still love reading them.
Wait! @skatt did I miss a pun? OMG, I’m confused – I just had oral surgery and I’m hopped up on pills…
I am in pseudo menopause due to the steroids I am on for my transplant. I feel so sorry for giving my mom a hard time and not understanding what she was going through!
I am wondering if ummmmmmm could be Ashley? I sometimes think these women do google themselves and pretend to be someone else and try to defend their actions. ummmm, was obviously either mentally challenged or a teenage, or both. Or wait, maybe she was Kelly Bensimon??? I think Prodigal is right though regarding the mean factor, how can you paint this with unicorns, rainbows, and gummi bears? Shit, maybe I’m kelly bensimon? I am a live and let live kind of gal, but when others actions impact others around them, I draw a line in the sand and no longer feel the need to be tolerant, understanding or polite. Teresa’s antics are going to cost all of us, because as much as I would like to see karma act itself out, we all know deep down nothing will be done. They will get to keep their home, maybe lose the escalade and downsize to a sequoia, and Teresa will still be spending thousands every month on herself and her future bankruptcy foreclosure you know whats (just can’t bring myself to use that word out load about children even if only a joke). However, we will all have our credit card interest rates go up a percentage or so to cover their losses and the next guy who comes along looking for a small business loan will get denied because the bank is eating its losses. So we all pay for their self indulgent lifestyle. Jaqueline doesn’t get a pass either because she is supplying a vehicle to a child who is out late and while their is no proof she is drinking and driving, a betting person wouldn’t wager against that being the case. She also raised a child who thinks it is okay to put her hands on a 50 year old woman. Caroline dishes out advice from her throne but expects none to be given back to her. She may fight for her kids (who seem to have turned out well) but perhaps has given them false expectations. She seems to be redeeming herself this past episode and in this weeks, by trying to make things clear to Ashley and calling out Teresa and Jaqueline for starting shit. Danielle, jeez, I don’t think I have to explain why she has passed my line in the sand. The Manzo kids,Al senior, and Danielle’s kids are the only characters to root for this season. It is hard to watch this show without getting mad and feeling mean.
I hate captcha, I have lost like 5 comments in the last week and they were ALL very, very witty and hilarious (I can say that since you all will never know) I’m 44 years old and just learning the computer which is most frustrating! I was out of the loop and missed 2 months worth of recaps but I’m finally caught up….
you guys are so funny, when I saw the comments yesterday, I missed prodigal weighing in, so girl I’m glad you where able to get in there! good to have you on OUR side, bad for infiltrators!
@classy drunk, I left you a message on the last recap last night just before new one, happy to have another peach in the mix! I’m a southside peach but I spend a lot of time in Midtown!!! Love my gays!
@twunty, I hate to tell you this, but I call my daughter baby-girl all the time, though I take your point. I feel the same when grown men call me “Mommy” at work, may be a regional thing.
Bravo has other shows coming up that I DO love and I hope you will be involved….Don’t know if I’m allowed to mention them so I won’t
love u mean it
Dear Twunterful,
You continue to amaze me with your ability to turn a molehill into lemonade
As much a this show disapoint’s me on many level’s,your re-caps never do.Thank’s.
I am going through menopause too ladie’s so I feel for you.I had surgery last year and they removed an 8cm cyst.Even though the ultrasound saw how big it was the surgeon thought he could get it with a bikini cut.Not! I was cut asshole to elbow’s.I asked the Doc beforehand to just get rid of everything but he wouldn’t because of my age,45.He said I needed to keep one ovary because he didn’t want me to start taking hormones so early.So here I am,a menopausel ridden dried up bitch on wheels.While I do like no periods,I was really looking forward to being a bitch on wheels later in life.It would have been so much more fun.
@Honeybee,I agree with everything you said.Except for this;”Teresa is a stone throw away from being Danielle”
I am not fond of Danielle.Hell,I am not fond of any of them.But I think that if the shit hit the fan Danielle would survive.She is a survivor.BW,on the other hand,is a big sissy and if she only had herself to rely on she would crash and burn.That table flipping etc.crap she does is just a facade.She would be winding her ass and scratching her watch if she had to take care of herself.
Happy Hot flashes gals
Take care,Robin
Dear lord Robinez, warn people that you are going to make them snort! Now I have a shitload of schmitt riesling to wipe off my screen.
Well no wonder we’re all a bunch of snarkass bitches. Mi compadres! At least we’ve earned the right.
Excellent point Cheez, recapping mean/crazy/clinically disturbed cannot be easy. Just reading about it sends me over the edge faster than a spoon in the fork compartment of the utensil drawer.
@Chemgal- #1, love your avatar, #2, poor moms everywhere, I thought mine was certifiable when I’d catch her standing in front of the fridge with the freezer door open rubbing an ice cube on her neck & chest.
Cheez: No pun, just intentional chain yankin’. Continue your pill dosage as recommended by your Doctor, but double while watching this shit show. I was so tempted just to write “FUCKSLUT” and nothing else, but I figured it would be lost on “Ummmm”.
Robinez: I’ve chaged my mind on Danielle. She’s not nuts, at least not in the way we think. She’s a grifter, and we are watching the latest con. She’s getting old, and all the usual methods aren’t working.
Oh and please check out the InStyle link boladasa provided. Isn’t it weird that every photo shoot (shop) of Teresa, she magically has bangs?? I WONDER WHY?
Thanks again for all the support, you guys. I’m not a mean person, really. I can prove it.
“Hey, honey- Ain’t I nice?”
He said yes.
I left out the fact that I was blowing him at the time. It came out more like, “meymummy, oymmoymmoiiimm?”
Twunty, I completely see where you are coming from when you ended your recap with thoughts on how disgusting these women are. I had been enjoying the drama up until the last two episodes. Now I just find it disturbing and creepy. It must be so hard to try to recap this freak show in a funny and productive way, when you are dealing with such garbage. I think they need to boot everyone off and get a new cast. Or, just skip New Jersey all together. Hang in there with the show and the PMS. Just FYI – I used to have bad PMS and then had a hysterectomy – the BEST thing I’ve ever done!!
A very good friend of mine was diagnosed with aspartame poisoning from all the diet coke she drank. The symptoms will mimic fibromyalgia. As a result of this she has made it her mission to research and study nutrition. She recently gave me some advice about PMS/PMDD/menopause symptoms. Milk thistle capsules, primrose and/or flax oil (barleans essential woman has both) and avoiding dairy 10 days before you expect your period. I spoke with my doctor and got the go ahead to add the milk thistle and oils to my daily routine and the difference with hot flashes and mood swings is amazing! Talk to your doctors first as these can effect other meds you may be on. And stop using artificial sweeteners!
good advice. I don’t want to rip out my own personal groinpurse quite yet, so I will try going the herbal route. Googled aspartame poisoning. There was no mention of whether or not one might slip a hefty dose into a Bellino undetected.
Off the NJ topic, but noteworthy for those who have not seen it. Old Duck Lips, wife of Pawn Preacher “thought” she put the stroller brake on – but apparently did not and the stroller rolled into the pool. Fortunately PP jumped in and averted a disaster. Guess this is what happens when you have so many nannies you rarely care for your own kids….. here’s the link http://www.tmz.com/category/real-housewives/
Anyway, as someone who is in the throes of menopause, I am enjoying the comments and thoughts. I had not heard of milk thistle for hot flashes, just started black cohash as recommended by several friends. Good luck everyone!
Our favorite Bankruptcy Whore is in the news again and it isn’t the InTouch article. All I can say is BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
http://www.realitytea.com/2010/07/16/nj-housewife-teresa-giudice-and-hubby-accused-of-concealing-assets-in-bankruptcy/
hahahahaha!! How do you conceal assets from a freaking cookbook? It’s on the NYTimes bestseller list!! MORON
Holy crap there’s gonna be an auction! Dibs on the mirror!
Oh no, not THE MIRRA!
You can have the mirror TV, I want Gia’s ATV. Vroom!
I am giddy with joy! If the auction is on season three that might make all of this worth it.
If they show all of her tacky, over-priced, vomit-inducing posessions being auctioned off, I just may have to finally watch an episode (instead of reading Twunty’s wonderful recaps), just to see the look on the Bankruptcy Whore’s face, as she watches all of her “good taste” stuff being carted out the front door.
Twunty, please keep up the great writing and don’t ever leave us!
Oh Gasminites: I was just over at AbovetheLaw.com where they were discussing Albies’ flunking out of Law School story line. Turns out, it’s bullshit. According to them, the whole thing with “getting the letter from the school” is pretty much code for- “Now, exactly how big of a donation to this fine institution is it gonna take for my son to get to stay?”.
I KNEW Caroline was laying it on waaay to thick with the:”Well, they just have to make it on their own; all we can do is offer moral ($) support”- horseshit.
@Skatt….I read that story too. It doesn’t matter how much money they “donate” to the school. If, and that’s a big IF, he can make it through to the third year and graduate, he will still have to pass the bar exam. Otherwise the best he can hope for is becoming a paralegal. Hmmm….wonder what it will cost them to get him back in on a “probationary” basis?!
for twuntz & jacqueline:
CHANDLER: What if I never find someone? Or worse, what if I’ve found her, but I dumped her because she pronounced it “supposably”?
JOEY: Supposably. Supposably. Did they go to the zoo? Supposably. :nods in the affirmative to himself:
this episode is on as I write this comment. it’s one of my favorites & that scene cracks me up every time. unfortunately I couldn’t find a clip, hopefully this is good enough.
@skatt… “Cheez: No pun, just intentional chain yankin’. Continue your pill dosage as recommended by your Doctor, but double while watching this shit show. I was so tempted just to write “FUCKSLUT” and nothing else, but I figured it would be lost on “Ummmm”.”
Hahahahahahaha!!!!! FUCKSLUT cracks me up EVERY time!!! LOL!!!
OMG – this thread has me cracking up so hard today!! LOL!!!
Thanks @margo!
Re: Menopause. I’m going to have to try the herbal route, so far my strategy has been screaming at my husband and drinking a lot. It’s works great for me, but probably not for him, LOL, the man’s a saint. Really, he is.
God, I keep hearing that whole “Ain’t I nice? Ain’t I a sweet person?” in that nasal screech… UGH. She is GROTESQUE. Now I have to go follow all the links posted!!
**Just an advance warning in regards to my comment both the content and the length. I am high. Very high. I have been in the hospital today getting iv pain meds for my cluster headaches. I can’t decide if I am being very funny or very annoying or not at interesting. Or yes to all of them. I apologize in advance. Half way through I got this feeling that I should try to write all my papers high on pain meds. because it is so easy to write. I guess I will decide that tomorrow when I read this sober. And who knows if this warning is even needed. I might be being a pompous ass for writing it (comment and disclaimer), but I know Twunty reads these comments and she deserves a disclaimer after having to recap these shitty shows. I would suggest just skimming the comment until or if you find something that interests you, or you are going to waste a chunk of your life. The Tim Curry Mirror part is kind of funny.****
{First something in regards to the real world. @chemgal: my boyfriend got me started on 3-6-9 essential fatty acids oil a long time ago. I haven’t looked back since. It is wonderful stuff. I have an autoimmune disease and it has cut me getting sick in half. Also it works with my chronic pain, so that I am swimming and running again. I love it!!
Anyway this is about PMS. But that primrose oil, which is an essential fatty acids if I am not mistaken, which I often am) and what the 3-6-9 essential fatty acids do is to keep down inflammation in the body. Which is what happens when you get PMS and cramping during your period. So it taking them is very beneficial. Also they are just overall good for the body and the mind. You can take these all the time because they also help your over all health and help you grow nice, long nails and hair, but milk thistle is fabulous for PMS. I take milk thistle all month long too. But I say go for it. Also I would look into take 5-HTP, but do research on that first because it has some contra-indications, but it has changed my life and my PMS rage.
I am not just the president of the herbal pills, but a taker as well and I highly endorse this project. That was a very luke warm, nah weak attempt at humor. I think these things are worth looking into.
*******************************************************************************************
Also I read on one of the women’s blogs that Jackie and Ta-Ta Cro Mag were wearing the fur stoles/shrugs/whateves as a way to market/support Kim D’s store- they wore them to Ta-Ta’s housewarming and to the fashion show. I couldn’t tell if Jackie was spinning this excuse as a way to say that, normally, they wouldn’t wear fur but were doing it to support a friend. Or to say that they wouldn’t buy something that expensive especially with the way their finances are. Or to say that yes they are still for sale and people should go buy them, so that we can all look and shop just like a housewife. I refuse to buy Caroline’s head cock. I think my friends would kick my ass.
I only want the mirror if Tim Curry really appears in it and walks into my bed room on command. I can only imagine how awesome if I had that mirror at certain parties. My friends would just immediately take off their clothes, start touching each other and then touching themselves. Well first the air would fill with screams of delight and joy and then the one douche in the crowd that thinks it is ultra, ultra alternative to not like Rocky Horror Picture show who would boo. But then I would show them Clue and maybe get them settled down. Sorry I have given this a lot of thought. Oh Tim Curry. Yes. Please.
Twunty, I don’t know how you reached into my deepest psyche and found the thing that I didn’t even know I wanted, but since I read it it is the only thing that I will ever want for the rest of MY LIFE. Well besides world peace, a cure for AIDS, gay marriage, an alternative fuel source, the redistribution of wealth, resources and population and the protection of bio-diversity on earth. Just showing you my priorities are in order.
It is my dream fantasy gift. Just like the ones you had when you were a kid. When you would dream that She-Ra’s flying horse was real, that she would fly into your window one night and take you riding with Rainbow Brite. Or on your birthday your parents gave you an amusement park and you could have all the funnel cake and cotton candy you wanted. Or was just that me? But you know what I am talking about. Maybe.
Also I have been a fan of slapping Ashley when this season first started. I am also a fan of slapping Danielle. Both of them need to realize that life has teeth and it will bite back. You can only say so much, taunt so much, and in general be an asshole before life bites back. Or let me rephrase that. If there was cosmic justice- which there isn’t- people like that would get slapped by life. Life is hard. Get a helmet. And Danielle you aren’t blameless. If you continue to poke and poke and poke- even if you are the one being “picked on” – then people are going to strike back. Also your antics are what started the ball in motion- she deserved to be knocked down a peg.
We would be a lot more prepared for the shitty, tough parts of life, if we weren’t constantly protected from it. Sometimes people need to fight it out. Take a few swings at each other. Work out their aggression. Life isn’t this safe little, middle class bubble and status and money isn’t always enough to save someone from the really terrible/hard/or just plain shitty or annoying parts of life.
Chris and Jacqueline would do Ashley a huge favor if they just once let her fall on her ass, and let Ashley pick herself up. Maybe they should have let her stay in prison after the Danielle incident. Or make her work for her food, make her work in order to feed herself. Then it wouldn’t be the end of her world if she didn’t get a new pair of jeans or a white Range Rover. Stop paying for her car. She doesn’t need a life coach. She needs to learn how to live life. Push her out into the world.
My parents always picked me up after everything that I did. I grew up believing that my little bubble of affluence was going to save me from anything hard in life and that I was deserving of a certain life. Now I am realizing how much work it takes and I am years behind from being able to support myself. And years behind in growing up and being an emotionally functional adult, but I am getting there. It is shocking to me and to my friends that I was never sent to jail because I should have been, but I am white, young and rich that couldn’t have happened to little old me.
Anyway. I feel sorry for that girl- as I feel sorry for most of the kids on these shows. As I feel sorry for most of the kids in America. You can’t have what your parents have when you are 16 because you haven’t been working. They earned their cars, their cell phones, their clothes- you have not. We are breeding a country full of Patrick Batemans. Sorry rant over.
I swear that every time Danielle speaks it is like she is acting on a soap opera. No dear. This is real life. What is wonderful for you is that, probably, you will never realize that your life is real. That it isn’t a stage production or a soap opera. (what is scary is when I hear my mom using lines that she heard on the Real Housewives- she likes throwing around the word toxic. She thinks like is a Lifetime Network Move of the Week or now a version of the Real Housewives. It is much to my dismay that the new series is DC, we live in DC and my dad works in the White House. Sorry Ma we are not those women)
What is awful is that people around Danielle have to deal with the very real shit, the very real chaos the she causes and try to pick up the pieces for her and themselves. For instance: her crazy ways might be the end of Christine’s modeling career which would just be so sad. Or just look at what her paranoid delusions did to the cancer benefit. Go AWAY DANIELLE and get help. Off camera. Do not listen to Dr. Drew when he tells you that you need to appear on Celebrity Rehab. That way leads to madness.
Twunty I can’t blame you for wanting to abandon ship on these ladies. Not one of them has any redeeming qualities or at least any qualities that make them entertaining. I feel the same way. I am so disgusted with the morals, the ideals, the behaviors that are shown on the show that I can’t continue to support it by watching it. At least I can come to read your recaps, but I am still supporting a show that goes against my moral fiber. Okay well going against my moral fibers is a bit dramatic- maybe goes against reason, logic and good taste.
Especially to keep watching a woman, Teresa, who has declared bankruptcy to just continue to hemorrhage tax payer money. It seems completely wrong and awful. It is hard to watch the show because in my own way because I am supporting a show that celebrates selfish and indulgent behavior, rapacious consumption and excessive, leisurely spending. Also the show/shows highlight women with serious mental illnesses. I have no advice on this one because I might give up too. I know that all of us would miss your humor.
At least you can come here and point out how the emperors or empresses have no clothes, no houses, no cars, no wine cellars, no marble sofas and no marble strap ons for Juicy. You are also here to point out to those of us that are smart enough to listen that these women are the hollow men. With headpieces filled of straw. With voices that whisper meaningless nothings. Okay I took some liberty with the phrasing and meaning of the poem, but you get the idea. But we need people that do that. I also love coming hear to read all the COMMENTS that people leave- it is refreshing to see that there are some thinking people out there and that they aren’t snow blind by the bullshit these women are selling.
So I say do what will make you feel whole. Do what makes you feel like you are being honest with yourself.
(Aside to Twunty: My research paper finally ended up being on how the shows in the Real Housewife franchise equate women’s independence and a new feminist movement with egregious avarice, conspicuous consumption, and indulgence in leisure activities and high end services. This show recreates the independent woman, the modern housewife into a woman who has the ability to spend what ever amount it takes to get what she wants, but what is rarely seen is how these women make their money. The show celebrates a consumption driven lifestyle in an effort to support a Western marketplace, our American economy that is based on consumption of goods rather than the production of those goods. The franchise ignores the ordinary, everyday, working housewife in favor of honoring the affluent, materialistic, celebrity housewife. Consumption just breeds more want, a feeling of lack, a feeling of emptiness. Sorry now I am on my high horse. What is interesting is even the thinking women can fall victim to the shit they are shoveling. Oh well. But I did get that from the show and was influenced by what you had/have to say about the show)
Whenever you write out Miliana’s name I read it just as Teresa says it when she screams it at her. It is strangely funny. But Teresa is no better, no worse than Danielle. She just is the same, but in a different way. She is completely self involved, delusional, and I hate to pull this card, but just plain stupid. She is scary stupid because she thinks that she is smart and doesn’t realize that it is her lack of intelligence that makes her intolerant and judgmental of other people and their differences.
Plus I think that she would do some Danielle shady shit like breaking mail boxes or pulling pranks, but she can’t help herself from bragging about the petty insults that she hurls at Danielle. And the other girls would not approve of her actions and I think that keeps her some what in check.
Seriously, Teresa would have said coke whore if it had been Danielle that was walking down the aisle, but probably not if it had been Christine which makes Danielle the nasty of all of the housewives. I would like for Kandi to come in and give Teresa and Danielle some lessons on how to act like human beings. We just need someone that will smack them around. We need Vicki to OCD/obsessively control Teresa into waxing her forehead. Tyra I smell a sweep’s week special.
I am not really saying anything new here and I have been doing that for much too long. I have been beyond sick these past weeks and I have way too much time in the hospital with nothing to, so I have been reading the bravo blogs, watching the show, reading gasm, having nothing else to do, etc. (oh feel sorry for me now) But thank god for internet phones. Just sayin. I will now go flog myself for using that phrase.
But anyway that sort of explains why I had to write a comment equivalent to War & Peace. . I apologize.
Personal groin purse. I fucking love it. I die. I really wish that I could stash my license and credit cards up there. I am always losing them and I never have a purse. That would be great. Although the person that has to handle my credit card would probably be less than happy about it and it would be hard to get it out in a crowded store. Or a store with no bathroom.
Wow – The Giudice’s may be living in an all new big house soon; and this one will have lots of granite and ironwork in it too.
BTW – I just put the name Giudice through my Dashboard translator and it means JUDGE in English. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
@reckless – I’m high on pain meds too, I love ranting while my brain is on vacation! LOL,
Hope you feel better!
The only thing that sucks about the probable auction of their crap is that even though they paid top-dollar, their stuff is still crap. It looks like the set of a porn-movie.
@reckless – NOT that you were ranting!! I thought you made a lot of sense – LOL, Percocet knocks me for a loop and my brain to mouth filter misfires!
Look, Gasmii, even the Wall Street Journal is reporting it.
http://blogs.wsj.com/bankruptcy/2010/07/15/real-housewife-finds-drama-in-bankruptcy-court/
@reckless, best wishes. pain sucks. and i have to admit, i was not very tolerant of people that i though whined about chronic pain before i experienced it myself. now, having walked many miles in their shoes, my tune has changed.
i admit, i was being a loser today as it was raining too hard to mow my lawn ( my mister is traveling for a month so now i have to do all my stuff plus his stuff) and i checked out teresa’s facebook. you can’t put any comments on her wall. she must be getting too much negative stuff. but i did check out her pics and i hate, hate, hate to say it, but i think i can see the juicy she fell in love with. there’s a picture of him on there that is kind of close up and i’m thinking 50 pounds and 15 years ago, he was a good looking (although short, I think) guy. plus i continue to get the feeling that he really does thing the sun rises and sets on her. i’m thinking he married up and is always afraid she’ll leave. this weeks episode you could see the way he looked at her while she was acting out the scene from the fashion show that he really, really likes her. maybe they really do have sex a lot. i’m not against that, i think sex is highly under appreciated as the glue that holds a marriage together, just wish she didn’t feel the need to tell us all the time.
Me too Cheez. I love ranting on pain meds, but I have this aversion to the phone, so I have to get my ranting and talking out via other avenues. The internet may have many negative points- as does reality television- but they are perfect outlets for us ranting pain med takers!!! I feel like a Viking Tribe. We should be hoisting drinking horns filled with pills or something, flipping the bird at the television when Danielle is on it, and decimating Teresa’s peoples. Cro Magnon people don’t farm. Build ships. Away with them. Wait. I don’t know really know my earth history timeline. Were the Cro-Mags around with the Vikings? I should know this I just studied this. Biologist are going to be amazed that there were Cro Magnons walking around during this century, so maybe there were a few in there with the vikings.
I can see what you see in Joe @chemgal, he has an underlying sweetness – and I think you’re right, he clearly loves his wife. I put him in the same category as Frank Curtin though – he’s completely irresponsible and living far and away too far above his means. I really can’t get past some of the things he’s being accused of in their bankruptcy now; forgery, lying in court, running up credit lines with the intent to default… These are criminal acts, and even though he probably didn’t INTEND to harm anyone – he definitely did.
He chose to feed his wife’s extravagant tastes and appetites rather than pay the people who allowed him credit lines so he could build his business and home. And again, he put Teresa first, not his children. Kids don’t know any better, if their needs are met and their parents love them they’re usually pretty happy – life is about to change for the worse for the Giudice’s in spite of their best efforts to walk away from their responsibilities and keep their (stolen) possessions. How happy will the kids be then?
Women like Lynn Curtin and Teresa are so offensive to me because they aren’t just irresponsible, frivolous women they’re bad WIVES and MOTHERS. They set unrealistic examples for their kids (especially because they have daughters), and demand lifestyles they are not entitled to because they aren’t willing to do the hard work required to maintain them. I don’t begrudge anyone luxury, unless it’s obtained through false representation…
The Curtins moved into a home they could not EVER pay for, and the landlord not only didn’t get paid, she lost months of revenue due to their occupancy. It’s WRONG.
The Giudice’s represent the worst of the worst in today’s economic shift. I don’t know of anyone who isn’t scaling back on some level right now, it’s not about what we have in our bank accounts it’s about the instability of our entire economic systems. Living on a scale that grand, and increasing it, without SOLID financial wherewithal is approaching criminal levels of financial negligence. If Joe and Teresa were bringing home $500K a year in income, they would STILL be pushing the limits of living within their means. Teresa spent $120K on furniture last year, and that’s just what we SAW. It’s a sickness.
I’ve been screwed over in business by some of the nicest people imaginable, I call them easygoing assholes. And the fact that that they were pleasant to deal with, invited me to their parties or sent a drink over to my table doesn’t make the fact that I essentially paid for their kid’s $3500 tricked out MacBook graduation present any easier to swallow. Unlike them, I didn’t even get a thank you – so I’l take a prick who pays his bills over the deadbeat sweetheart ANY day. LOL. Joe qualifies as an easygoing asshole in my book.
Holy cow!!! I just accidentally found a picture of the Jocker Face after even more plastic surgery. (on Jezebel and/or Gawker sites). Shit, she was scary before but now she just looks from another planet. It seems a perfect reflection of her character – you know, the beauty comes from within… YUCK!!! Vomit, vomit…
Read the link Twunty posted. In the comment section I had to laugh for two reasons. First, there is someone with a screen name with uhmm, in it and she is defending teresa and is immature about it (I know you are but what am I?) so thinking it may be our trolling toad. Second, someone posted that juicy’s new motto is HAPPY WIFE, JAIL FOR LIFE. Maybe she can bankroll their lifestyle selling that on a t-shirt
I wish I could express myself as well as you all do when I’m sober much less, well, not sober! maybe it’s cuz all I have right now is some Piont Grigio, & we’ve all seen what that does to Ramona. Turtle time!!
reckless-I totally agree-as much as I cannot stand Teresa & her thinly veiled attempts at class & “ain’t I nice” crap,she would not have insulted Christine had she modeled for the show.
And here’s a thought I’ve been having-ever notice that when the ladies meet, Jacqueline usually has one or two kids in tow, but Teresa NEVER does? I figure it’s either because they’ve been banned due to annoyance or every day she throws them in the dungeon with her parents. Sorry, for someone who insists she does everything herself, she sure is able to do a lot without her FOUR kids, & one’s just a baby!
And can anyone tell me where one can buy a Caroline head cock and a personal groin purse? It’s never too early to shop for Christmas.
@chemgal – Oh, that was an AWESOME catch! On both counts!! LOL!! The only redeeming thing about the Teresa is that her personal shit blowing up all over the news makes for a really fun companion piece to Twunty’s recaps!! LOL!!!
@tvholic – I actually thought that this week when Jacquelyn showed up at Caroline’s with the baby. She goes everywhere with that baby-carrier, and is always holding the baby. I actually forgot Teresa had a baby. THAT WE ALL PAID FOR PROBABLY.
Back to my rant for a second… Why did Teresa and Giuseppe have ANOTHER kid they can’t afford, couldn’t conceive without paying big bucks, and apparently keep hidden back in the cave somewhere???!!!???!! WHY???? What are these freaks thinking??
@chemgal,I hear that schmitt riesling works wonders for not only the body but computer screens too!Who’d of thunk it?
Sorry to be off topic,but I would like to have an avatar.Can anyone point me in the direction so I can learn how to do it? I have looked at the forums page.The info may well be there I just can’t find it.
Thank’s.Take Care,Robin
@Prodigal Cheez,The worst part is,the doctor that helped them conceive is one of the creditor’s that won’t get paid.They were already blessed with 3 children.If they can’t afford the Doctor’s services then they can’t afford..never mind,I won’t insult everyone’s inteligence.You know where I was going to go.
Oh..another thing I was thinking about,remember when she was in the car and told “juicy” that he needed to get a vasectomy?!? That is just another example of how much she lies.They both knew that they needed help to conceive,yet she tried to make it seem like they were both sooo fertile and they screw all the time and that’s why they have so many kids!She would lie about the weather if it suited her needs.Folks that brag all the time are usually full of shit.I think that when Teresa was talking about all the sex she was having it consisted of her driving Juicy’s sperm to the doc and talking dirty to it on the way.
Take Care,Robin
@Robinez, “I think that when Teresa was talking about all the sex she was having it consisted of her driving Juicy’s sperm to the doc and talking dirty to it on the way.”
LMAO!!! Hahahahaha!!!!!
I thought that about that whole vasectomy thing too when the fertility debt came out. I couldn’t figure out why she lied about it, but I’ll bet you’re right. She’s such a fuckweasel.
I just read Caroline Manzo’s blog on BravoTV, and I think she’s starting to distance from Teresa – subtly, but definitely backing off. I’m actually interested in seeing how the Laurita-Manzo’s will ultimately deal with her. She went WAY too far in baiting Danielle – but the only one suffering consequences is Ashley. Manzo by marriage not withstanding, Ashley is still part of the family and I wonder how that’s going to play out between Caroline, Jacqueline and Chris, and Teresa.
@Prodigal,I would back off too if I were them.She is trouble just for the sake of being trouble.I would also bet that Teresa made Dina her child’s Godmother for selfish reasons.I think that Caroline is backing off a bit,but Dina is the baby’s Godmother and Teresa know’s how important that is.I think she did it so that she would be a part of that family.No matter how large or small.
She forgets that blood is thicker…I think the Manzo’s would cut her off at the knee’s(figuratively)if she hurt any one of them in any way shape or form.
I thought it was pretty disgusting when Teresa,a grown ass woman,laughed when Ashley told her she pulled Danielle’s hair.What kind of person does that? Let’s not forget Mom.Jaqueline was just as bad.She stood in front of the car with a dead animal on her shoulder’s as if she were daring them to move.While btw, her daughter was walking around bragging to folks that she ripped Daniell’s weave out.Such a good mother…
I wonder how embarassed Caroline’s sister’s are when they watch this trainwreck?
TC,Robin
@Robinez “I think that when Teresa was talking about all the sex she was having it consisted of her driving Juicy’s sperm to the doc and talking dirty to it on the way.”
@prodigal “fuckweasel”
Thank goodness its too early for schmitt riesling or I would be cleaning my computer screen yet again! Too funny.
I too wondered about the vasectomy versus fertility treatments. I also questioned where the kids always are, but then again, I am always surprised in my real wife the number of women who seem to never have kids around. I on the other hand could never use my uterus as a coin purse as 1 of my 3 kids seems to always be trying to climb back in there.
Robin, to get an avatar, you have to sign into tvgasm. Go to the home page and there is an icon that has tvgasm with a facebook logo next to it. click on the tvgasm (it either says login or sign in- something along those lines) it will go to another page and ask you for your screen name and ID. Like me, you may have forgotten your ID. If so, it will go to the next page in which you can click forgot your password. then it will ask you to type in your email address to send you a new password. The first email you get from them will have a link to click (not the tvgasm.com one, but the longer one a bit farther down) once you click this, you will get a second email that has your new password (sometimes this second one will go to your spam, so check there too) then you can sign in, which also means no more captcha code! once you sign in you can go to your account and upload an avatar.
Jeez, I think my kids would have an easier time getting back in my uterus then signing in.
Now I have my own question that I’m hoping someone can answer. Actually 2, if you log on via facebook, does it still use your avatar and screen name or would it be real name and facebook profile picture? And, I wanted to change my password to something easier to remember then the gasm assigned #)*T#UGHKJHE*&(*#&(*T but when I go to my profile to do so, it tells me I am not entering the correct current password. Do I send a message to flipit about it or is there another website administrator?
Tvaholic: Oh man, Teresa’s “ain’t I nice/’cause I’m A nice pewsun”, shit was just in fucking OVERDRIVE. You know she is aware, at least on some level of how all this looks.
Cheez: Why would Teresa have another baby amidst all the financial “restructuring”? ( I would pay $100 to hear her pronounce that word)- Because she wanna one, that’s why. We really need to start sending in the questions to Miss Andy for the reunion- stat. Although, I think we all know, Juicy wanted that precious male heir. Poor Joe, women really are the bane of his existence.
Robinez: Did you notice that during, but more so after the fight, it was like Teresa practically got a high off the whole incident and telling and retelling the story. It was freakish and bizarre. As bad as Ashley is, she’s EIGHTEEN. When they tell Ashley to stay clear of Danielle, all I can think of is: AND TERESA.
And finally – I swear, I’ll go do something productive after this, like make my home as spotless as Teresa’s all by myself — Robinez, I forgot that on a newsgasm item you commented on Teresa constantly saying “is bitch better” as if she was hoping it became a new motto or tag line and I think you are right. She said something about “make a song” and I’m wondering how long it will be until that happens. I’m trying to think of a song that they could sample that would make “prastatushion who-ar” , “is bitch better”, “ain’t I nice” bearable on the ears.
man you guys are hilarious. these comments cracked me up. chemgal, saw your comment and sent you a new password that works. sorry for the trouble.
and yes, when you sign in via facebook you will be using your facebook name and avatar.
feel free to email me at any time at flipit75@gmail.com. great work twuntles. LOVE
@chemgal -” And finally – I swear, I’ll go do something productive after this, like make my home as spotless as Teresa’s all by myself ”
Really? So what are you saying chemgal? You keep your mom in the basement, and you only have two couches, a kitchen table and a giant mirror in your house? LOL. Teresa’s mom can clean her entire house with two spritzes of Windex and a Bounty paper-towel square – Do they even have any rugs? LOL!
If they do a song with that freak, they BETTER sample ‘When the Lion Sings Tonight” or I’m not listening to it. I can see the kids swinging from curtains in the background singing “a weem a whup, a weem a whup” into banana microphones. God, I really am high…
Wow: in the somewhat sober light of the day I realized that I was all over the place, making some crazy connections. I might have a bit of ADD- okay a ton of ADD. How does one have a ton of ADD? But I have it. Thanks for playing along. I love this impromptu support group that we have going on.
Now that ya’ll point it out. I never see Teresa with her new baby. How sad. Now that her story like has run its course, she is no longer needed. Teresa doesn’t even take her with her when she is just visiting Caroline or Jacqueline. Was the baby with them when they had dinner at Caroline’s house?
But:
@Cheez: I couldn’t agree with you more about the bad mother comment.
Look at how Teresa is handling Gia’s modeling/acting “career”. I am for getting your kids to participate in different activities, but help them understand they they might not have the skills to do everything they set their minds to. Doesn’t mean they have to stop doing it or shouldn’t put in the work needed, but parents need to help their kids set up realistic expectations.
I wanted to be a singer just like my best friends. My parents knew I couldn’t carry a tune. I still tried out for a big time musical. I didn’t get the part. I was allowed to try, but my parents didn’t try to fool me into believing that I had more talent then I did.
I have no idea what is in Gia’s future as a model/actress, but from what we have seen it doesn’t seem that she has a ton of potential, but Teresa doesn’t help her see this. She isn’t preparing Gia to do anything else or explaining to Gia that she may not succeed at modeling.
We also don’t see her working at getting better: she doesn’t learn her lines, doesn’t want to work on her accent, isn’t going to acting classes, etc. Work for Gia isn’t just going to fall out of the air once Bravo disappears. In needs to be explained to Teresa that Gia got to walk in fashion week b/c it made a dramatic story line for the show. Since Christine was also walking in fashion week. Christine was booked because the designer actually wanted Christine in the show. Gia was booked because Miss Andy pulled some strings and he is good at head.
Teresa is just cashing in on the moment of fame- she has to an all marble and onyx house doesn’t pay for itself. I am still amazed that Teresa is proud that her house is made entirely made of marble and onyx- where as shame is the emotion that springs to my mind.
I have don’t think that I have ever liked Teresa. Her one liners and attempts at jokes have always seemed rehearsed and planned out. I have no idea. No idea how her cooking book made it on to the New York Times Best Seller List. Unless that list really makes nothing?? There is no way that she wrote any of that book. Her blog reminds me of my 7th grade journals- only my grammar was better and my sentence structure more complex.
Teresa & Lynne are both bad mothers because they aren’t teaching their girls how to be women of substance. They are instilling in them any sense of self worth or confidence. They are teaching their girls that their worth is based on their appearance and teaching them how to be bitchy, shallow females. Teresa is all too happy to flit around being a stage mom, completely spoiling her brats. I mean kids.
So I lied about being productive …. so sue me …. in moral bankruptcy court. Actually, I have been able to week my vegetable garden, by strawberry patch, clean the filter in the pool, add chlorine, watch my uber talented children do handstands and belly flops and cheer like a mad woman, (so add to my list pissing my white trash neighbors off), take the lids off of old paint cans and floor stripper so they evaporate for trash day, and paint 3 christmas trees (that’s right christmas trees!) My dad made me wooden tree cut outs for my porch and they needed to be sanded and painted. I couldn’t use them last christmas because I never got it done. So why not get ready for Christmas on a super hot day in July? I wonder if Teresa’s house was made from left overs from Juicy’s business and that’s why there is so much stone? As for teaching the kids to be women of substance, my father made sure I knew how to do everything he did, so I can use power tools, change a tire on my car and the oil, mow the lawn, install lighting, snake a toilet and many other non-diva like things. My mom, who does non of that stuff, encouraged it and always told me that just because I know how to do something doesn’t mean I have to volunteer to do it. So in the end I wound up with a man who will do all that for me, but when he travels for work, I don’t need to hire someone or wait for him to return to take care of anything.
I can’t figure out the Skinny Italian cookbook thing either @reckless… She looks like shit, and I agree with @chemgal who pointed out earlier that Teresa probably works out all the time, she just says she doesn’t for ulterior motives. I hope the proceeds from that get assigned to their debt-holders, although whatever they’ve already made is probably long gone.
@chemgal, my parents were the same way – and even though my husband is always around to help, I actually like doing that stuff and in some cases do it better! LOL.
And you are WAY more productive than I am today, I’m still whacked on pain meds and sitting in bed on my laptop, while eating leftover pasta. In my underpants. And Google spiraling Real Housewives – Even my dog is giving me dirty looks.
I love the Gasm. It is full of intelligent, witty opinionated people. The only person who behaved like an adult at the fashion show was the driver. On the 1st season it seemed as if Danielle and Teresa were friends or at least on the path so for Danielle to say I don’t know you to her was a way of baiting her. They are both lower level functioning people. I did notice that the BW had some leather sofas and a pool table in some den area but I wonder when that will get repoed. Why is it that all these fabulously rich women keep losing everything. Perhaps if they weren’t trying to keep up the ridiculous persona’s they portray on tv they would have money to pay their bills. Can’t wait to read what happens next.
So, I was watching part two of this fight yesterday and I finally realized what the hobby/job is that Teresa needs to take up. She needs to become a bodyguard, now. As disgusting as I found her behavior, I have to give her a bit of credit for being able to push through everyone and their mother in the place. She’s pretty much 1000 times more agressive & apparently strong than any of Danielle’s bodyguards (lol @ him running with her) or the people running the establishments that the Housewives destroy faster than Teresa can say, “Guess what me and Joe did last night?”. One more thing, I still can’t fathom why anyone talks to Kim G. It seems like every problem going on is instigated by her, and then when it blows up she tries to play mediator on both sides. Get rid of her now.
@chemgal Thanks for the instructions on how to get an avatar.I still had all my info,pw etc.Although,until they recently changed the sign in process I still needed to use the “caught ya”code.Now,lets see if the pic comes up when I post this.Also,I wouldn’t put it past Teresa to think she could make a song out of it.
@skatt Yes! I noticed how Teresa acted after the fight.She looked posatively orgasmic!She had wayyy too much fun making an ass out of herself.
@prodigal cheez ummm,I think the song is “the lion sleeps tonight lol.Either way,it is still funny
TC,Robin
testing
@Robinez “@prodigal cheez ummm,I think the song is “the lion sleeps tonight lol”
HAHAHA!! I’m an idiot! LOL!
What I don’t get about the whole country club smackdown is why Danielle didn’t just keep walking, Jacqueline didn’t grab Ashley and walk out, and why none of these women seem to understand how to turn anything to their advantage.
Teresa was baiting Danielle, that was clear – but once the whole “Honey, bitch” thing took place, Danielle could have said straight out, “Teresa, obviously this isn’t you trying to ameliorate anything – let’s agree to disagree and just leave each other alone, okay?” Then walk away – done. Teresa was definitely looking for a confrontation, but it takes two to tango and the best way to shut Teresa down is to dismiss her.
That whole mean girls -vs- cool girls analogy Teresa was using was ridiculous, these women are in their 40′s and sitting at a hosted event. Functioning WOMEN know how to operate with dignity and poise – you’re still cordial and courteous to people you dislike personally because it’s disrespectful to everyone else around to act any other way. Also, you don’t get completely wasted on booze at social events as a rule; Kim D’s table was hammered – she’s an alcoholic and that is one very big reason she should not be on that show next season.
Teresa’s ambush of Danielle was disturbing. Her mannerisms weren’t subtle at all, she was acting threatening and trying to push Danielle’s buttons. I would feel sympathy for Danielle, except she doesn’t deserve it because she pulled the same kind of BS at the Brownstone. They are both equally sick and dangerous, and anyone in NJ who would ever invite either one of them anywhere should make sure they’re stocked up on mace, stun guns and restraint cuffs. They’re both animals.
One thing I’ve noticed about Danielle, in spite of the fact that she’s an instigator and bad actor in general, is that she tends to be accurate about some of the accusations she throws out. There really was some kind of problem with Dina’s custody arrangement and filming the show; and as we all know by now Teresa is in a HUGE financial tailspin, so Danielle’s accusation about her house being in foreclosure was also accurate. That was the catalyst behind the whole thing anyway, Teresa knew it was out and she blamed Danielle.
What do they expect? That they can haul every dirty tidbit out of Danielle’s closet and she isn’t going to reciprocate? Gossip is a dirty and double-edged sword…
I think the reason Teresa hates Danielle is because even though Danielle has hit the skids, and her past is coming back to bite her in the ass – Danielle of all the housewives was the real deal. She married big, old money and through her husband was given entree into some pretty exclusive circles. Lots of rich men marry inappropriate women, look at Roxanne Pulitzer and Anne Woodward – most of those women become forces to be reckoned with. Danielle really just missed the boat, probably because she’s mentally unstable.
There is a definite feeling that Danielle rose too high above her station, and now they’re going to make sure she’s put in her place. The problem is they’re all still working class women, but with new-found wealth – or in Teresa’s case stolen wealth. So Danielle isn’t going down without a fight, she views THEM as the lower class and can’t understand why they think they’re better than she is.
I wish that episode hadn’t been split into two parts because I’m trying not to mix the last one in with the current recaps – sorry if I am!!
Avatar Test!!!!
I don’t necessarily believe that Teresa is kinder than Danielle in that she doesn’t say anything negative about Danielle’s kids, I just think she has a bit of a better filter and is smart enough to not say anything on camera.
Did anyone watch The Soup last night? They showed the entire chase scene, right up to where the blonde woman says,”This is bullshit”. Joel preceded to name the entire stampede: “THE RUNNING OF THE BULLSHIT”
You know what else I didn’t notice before? Most people at that event looked hella- pissed off at what went down there. I’d be willing to bet that most people that have to live in those “ladies” general area have had about enough of them. I doubt that Kim was the only Boutique showing clothes that night, even if she was the only one the girls mentioned. They drug (sorry Teresa, druggeded) many unwilling participants along for the ride that night.
Perco Cheeze (totally your new name): You know, even though Danielle acts like she’s auditioning for Days of Our Lives: Prostitution Whore- exactly what you wrote above is what makes me think she’s not crazy, or at least is crazy like a fox. She’s a con-artist and I think in the right circumstances could very well be dangerous. But you’re right, she really has Teresa’s number right now with the foreclosure because wealth is all and everything to Teresa.
I also love that the women seem to be backing off and/or leaving the show in direct order of I.Q. level: Dina left, now Caroline is doing her best not to be involved with the Teresa Danielle debacle, which just leaves……..Jacqueline. I wonder how long before they are telling HER to stay away from Teresa?
But Danielle really got just what she wanted, (thanks Ashley, Teresa, and you too Jackie!!!) everyone’s PICKING ON HER (boo-hoo). Oh, and could anyone who believes Ashley thought Danielle really hit her Mom please raise their hands………..yup, thought so.
@chemgal – I agree with you about Teresa re Danielle’s kids. She thinks they’re all trash, and when Christine got the runway gig she was anything but happy. I’ll bet she went crazy on Bravo and demanded “equal” treatment for her brat. I don’t like to call out little kids, but let’s be honest – Gia is not talented enough, disciplined enough or really exceptionally good-looking enough to warrant Teresa’s focus on making her a child model or actor. When you look at little girls who made it, like Dakota Fanning, Abigail Breslin, or Anna Paquin the poor kid isn’t even in the same game, much less playing field. Gia’s just a typical kid and there’s nothing wrong with HER, the problem is with her mother.
@skatt – HAHA on the new name, I like it!! LOL!! As for Ashley attacking Danielle because she thought Danielle hit her mother – here’s why I don’t believe it: Why would her first instinct not to be to go and see if her MOM was okay??? She thinks Jacqueline has been hit, but instead of going to her mom, she stalks Danielle? Her explanation still smacks of bullshit in her blogs, etc. Ashley didn’t just “react” she made a plan, she went looking for Danielle, she followed her, then waited for an opportunity and attacked her from behind. Why? Because Danielle said she had fat upper arms. She hadn’t heard Danielle call her a coke whore yet. Ashley was looking for a fight,and I’ve read online that this isn’t really out of character for her in general. She’s a troubled kid with impulse control issues, and is headed for some big trouble.
I think Danielle is crazy, but I think she knows what she’s doing and doesn’t really care. She’s a sociopath, and her moral compass has a false North so she’s always choosing the wrong path. I’m not sure she can help it, but that doesn’t make her any less dangerous – she’s just like most of the women sitting in state prisons all over the country, and she may still end up in one. The choices she makes and the people she gravitates toward haven’t changed much since her “Cop Without a Badge” days. She’s a con artist too, but so is Teresa. The reason they hate each other so much is because they’re two sides of the same coin – and both think the other is acting like something they’re not. It would funny if they both weren’t so sick.
And I think cheeze is correct. Danielle married big money and truly had it all for a while without the nagging of creditors. I have a friend that I have mentioned either here or on RHONY or RHOOC who spent ludicrous amounts of money on house, car, clothes, vacations and went bankrupt, and even she will admit, she couldn’t sleep at night as they were always trying to stay one step ahead and keep up appearances. So sure Teresa had some of the same, while Danielle did not. But, I am thinking that Danielle was an A+ bitch and having come from nothing, took every opportunity she could to be nasty. Seeing how she tried to treat the woman in Posche (even implying she would get her fired) was a clear indication of how she treats “help” or those she deems beneath her. Karma is only a bitch when you are.
@chemgal – “But, I am thinking that Danielle was an A+ bitch and having come from nothing, took every opportunity she could to be nasty. Seeing how she tried to treat the woman in Posche (even implying she would get her fired) was a clear indication of how she treats “help” or those she deems beneath her. Karma is only a bitch when you are.”
I completely agree, and I’m stealing the Karma being a bitch thing – because it’s awesome! LOL!
All’s I know is I have the phrase “That’s efuckinough” stuck in my head and I don’t even say the word fuck.
@Cheez-I wonder how Danielle found out about BW’s financial situation. Must help to have friends in low places, or at least be willing to blow anyone for info.
@scotty-I keep trying to repeat that & it keeps coming out “that’s enucking fuff!”
This is awesome-I think I’m only looking forward to the next show just for the recaps & comments!
Oh-someone please explain to me-WTF did Jacqueline mean when she was defending BW & juicy’s house “situation” by saying it was an “investment property?” It was either on the show or on her Bravo blog. Or did she mean that it wasn’t their house that was in foreclosure but one of their other properties? From what I heard he was a shitty landlord-in the first People article I read about this, he defended himself against complaints from tenants who said they had utilities shut off due to non-payment (they paid him, he didn’t pay the bill)that they weren’t shut off for that long. WTF??!! they shouldn’t be shut off at all asshat!
@tvaholic Jaqueline did mean that they lost their investment property (but she insinuated just 1, while I think if you take all the different media sources, they’ve lost the shore house, the investment property and the land next to their onyx cage). I’m thinking, and this is just my opinion based on my immediate dislike for teresa, that as crazy as Danielle may be, that locals recognize the crazy and give her a bit of a pass on her questionable behavior. I have a feeling, Teresa may not be so lucky. She is the type of Jersey Italian that gives them all bad reps and it is super easy to see the bitch beneath the veneer. She’s the type that others like to sit back and see her flounder. If it takes whispering some information into Danielle’s ears to make sure it gets done, I think they are more then willing to let her do their dirty work.
I too look forward to the recaps and comments. Got way too much sun earlier today and had to sit in the shade and kept checking in to see if there were any new comments to mull over and reply to.
@tvaholic – My guess is the Giudice’s have been defaulting on payments, tabs, credit lines, etc., all over town for a while. $11 million dollars in debt in their case had to have been cumulative. When people are that visible and over the top, others start to notice things – when Joe’s business stopped paying local vendors, word probably spread pretty fast. Paying in cash is a big red flag too – especially the amounts she was throwing around. Business associates talk, disgruntled employees talk, friends talk amongst themselves and it gets around…
Teresa really “ain’t” that nice, I’m sure there are lots of people who are thrilled to watch her bottom out, and are more than happy to spread the word. chemgal’s right, Danielle isn’t really isn’t malicious unless she feels threatened or crossed – and in spite of all her comments regarding the other housewives, she’s not really a snob either. Teresa is.
The thing about Danielle that makes it hard to just see her in black and white “villain” terms is that she really IS being victimized on some level. Regardless of who started what, she was publicly attacked over her past (really, who’s business is it now – it was over 20 years ago); Teresa threw a table at her and called her names; Jacqueline turned on her without warning; Kim D used her and set her up; Kim G is doing the same and adding to the landslide of paranoia-inducing dynamics; and once again Teresa brings her worst fears to fruition by attacking her in public AGAIN; Ashley has instituted a smear campaign against her; and now Ashley crossed the line and physically assaulted her.
Dina and Caroline have good reason to fear Danielle’s behavior, Danielle has acted in threatening and unacceptable ways toward both of them, and their children. Dina and Caroline backed off – and made sure Danielle knew they were backing away as non-confrontationally as possible. They know Danielle is unstable, they’ve accepted it and chosen to pull away because they actually really don’t want the drama or consequences.
Teresa, Jacqueline and Jacqueline’s daughter like the drama, and even though Jacqueline and Teresa act as if they’re being passive, they’re not. Jacqueline is messing with Danielle’s friendships and never let’s an opportunity go by where she can denigrate her. Teresa is spoiling for a fight, and it came out at the country club event. Ashley loses the protective standing as “someone’s child” because she is actively attacking Danielle as well. Also, on some level Ashley is getting some approval for this behavior because she wouldn’t be doing it otherwise, her stepfather and boyfriend strongly disapprove – Jacqueline is sending mixed messages.
Danielle isn’t stupid, she’s picking up on discordant threads with Kim D and Kim G, and although going off on the receptionist was off the wall, she wasn’t really wrong in what she felt she just aimed at the wrong target. Kim D IS being disloyal and undermining, she just wasn’t able to identify it in clear terms until she saw her sitting with Jacqueline and Teresa at the event. Kim G is Kim D’s sister-in-law, she knows from her experience with the Manzo’s that that friendship is on shaky ground too.
In Danielle’s mind, Teresa and Jacqueline are destroying her AGAIN, after she made inroads into another start in her life. She literally feels hounded, and because she really is crazy she doesn’t understand that she truly has the upper hand – the show revolves around her, she could bring other people into her circle and get rid of Jacqueline and the Manzo’s because they’re boring. Instead she’s obsessed with being rejected, and if she can’t be accepted by these women then she wants to hurt them back – it’s a really sick cycle, on all fronts.
I know I’m rambling – but I really dislike Jacqueline. She is really fucked up, and totally Passive-Aggressive. I think her relationship with Ashley is sick, and one reason Ashley doesn’t understand where she’s crossing boundaries is because Jacqueline keeps moving them. She’s one of these women that never gets her hands dirty, but somehow everyone else around her is doing her dirty work – Chris with Ashley, Ashley with Danielle, Kim G with Danielle, Danielle to some extent with the Manzo’s (last season). I actually think the catalyst behind most of the craziness and dysfunction is Jacqueline’s quiet manipulation. Honestly, I don’t think Caroline or Dina Manzo like her either, and I think they see through her too. If it wasn’t for Jacqueline, Danielle and Kim G wouldn’t even be circling their lives at all – I think she’s the bad seed.
One more weird observation – I think it’s psychologically and emotionally cruel that EVERY time Jacqueline has a serious confrontation with Ashley she’s holding and nurturing the baby.
It’s been bothering me throughout the whole season – it’s like she’s illustrating to Ashley just how expendable she really is in a home environment where she’s the only one who doesn’t “belong” to Chris. Ashley’s a troubled girl, and she has big, big problems but I kind of have to look at what she’s dealing with where Jacqueline’s concerned and as much as I HATE to admit it, the kid really doesn’t have any solid and stable family relationships to trust in or fall back on. I really, really dislike Jacqueline.
CLICK! That’s the light bulb being turned on in my head by Prodigal Cheez. How could I, the gal that likes to look for the worst in people miss it???????? My thoughts on Jaqueline have always been cocktail waitress/hooker?? gone good. My impression always was that she met chris out in vegas and I thought she was probably “working” in one of the casinos and met him through there. (I could always picture Chris wearing that t-shirt that has the outline of a stripper with a pole and it says “I support single mothers”) and I thought she took Danielle’s side at first because when she saw how they all attacked Danielle for her shady past, she saw how that it was most likely that they felt the same towards her but as long as she was Chris’s wife, she couldn’t publicly be a target. But in the same way she was probably a pro at manipulating men in vegas (even if what she did out there was above board in a legal way, there is always a bit of manipulation going on) she quickly recognized a fellow pro and someone who is probably even a lot better at it, but is also mentally unstable. I also wonder if Caroline let her know, you’re either with us or against us.
As for Ashley, the most upsetting part of teaching was seeing the fall out of bad parenting and really bad choices by parents. Because by the time they are that age, there is so little that can be done. One of the biggest issues is out of wedlock babies or step kids. Women have kids, don’t marry the dad, marry the next guy who comes along, has some babies with them and the first kid is odd man out. Someone earlier commented that they didn’t see how we thought Ashley was an outsider. First, she is not blood. Second, she is a girl. So there is no way in heck she will ever be an insider in this NJ Italian family. They wouldn’t show it on tv, they aren’t that stupid, because even though she isn’t one of them, she is one of theirs. They get to decide when she is part of the family. And they will protect her only in the sense that if they don’t she can bring harm to the family’s reputation. I’m sure in little ways her place has been made clear to her and Jaqueline. Chris has been around since she was 5 and I don’t hear any mention of visiting or seeing her real father, so why hasn’t he adopted her?
I see the issues with step kids with my nieces, mom and dad divorce, dad moves in with new girlfriend who has her own kids who live with them and their dad is now “dad” to these other kids who get him all week and some weekends. They’re like visitors with their own father. Now they are acting out and no one can figure it out. My MIL is not talking to me because I told her its her sons fault for moving in so quickly with this other lady. Everyone thinks the 8 and 10 year old girls should just deal with it.
As for Danielle, while she is either crazy or crazy like a fox, she has been a victim of “sytemized bullying” (where the hell is Kelly B when you need her??? Put the gummie bears down and come help your sister in arms!!) either these women all really knew part of her past but because she was married to a man that no one wanted to make waves with so they waited until she was down to kick her, or bravo went out of their way to put the book in these harpies hands and I’m leaning towards the first one having lived in a small NJ community. People think small southern towns are bad. In NJ you can’t fart without the whole town knowing. The person who hands you your hard roll with butter (the breakfast of champions I tell ya!) knows how your pap smear came out. So there is no way I believe she lived there that long without people knowing about it. They waited till she was down to kick her and now they want nothing more than to keep her in her place. But the lady is a fighter and I’ve used the analogy before, these other women keep poking a hornets nest and then are surprised when they get stung. The NY ladies recognized Kelly’s crazy and backed off. Perhaps Sonja needs to be called in to mediate (now she would be awesome at hosting the reunion show!)
To expound on some of what you are saying Chemgal, I also believe that the Manzo’s are they type of people she always felt she had to prove herself to. So when Caroline called her garbage last season she was put back in that place she’d been trying so hard to get away from. In addition, she was no longer living the lifestyle she’d been accustom to with her husband, so she couldn’t flash new shiny things in their faces. She wants these women to accept her and is obsessed with it. Also when she deals with these women (or woman if you are Danielle) she has to feel ganged up on so she is always on the defense.
What is it about these Housewife shows that makes all of the kids demon spawns? Are the parents so worried about becoming one of their childrens’ “friends”, they have forgotten their first obligation is to raise a respectful child? Growing up, I can’t tell you how many times I heard “you may not love me, but you are going to respect me as long as you are in my house!”
Say what you want about Crackie from the OC, but at least her kids seem normal and respectful and her houses aren’t in foreclosure. She’s definitely not my favorite, but a lot of these other women could take a lesson from her.
I’m with you 110%, as usual, @chemgal – and especially on the idea of Ashley being an outsider. I think Jacqueline is too, but her place is secured because of Chris. I also think that’s why having another baby was SO important to her, she isn’t going anywhere as long as she’s got his biological kids.
When Caroline or Dina says “Jacqueline always ends up in problems with people because she only sees the good…”, that’s polite code for “Jacqueline always searches for the lowest common denominator and it causes a lot of problems for our family”. I do it with my sister, who is a pathological liar…”Oh, well sometimes she misreads situations and it can be confusing…”. BULLSHIT. Protecting your family unit doesn’t mean you don’t get the fact that the biggest reason you have to is because someone within the family is causing the actual problem.
The only reason Jacqueline dumped Danielle is because the Manzo sisters had a “Come To Jesus” meeting with Chris Laurita, and Mr. Moneybags told Jacqueline to fish or cut bait. He loves her, but he has limits and they are seriously being pushed, hence the frantic need to have another baby. Jacqueline is a master manipulator.
Ashley probably doesn’t haven’t chance, she’s learned her coping skills at her mother’s knee – which is like expecting a junior accountant to learn professional responsibility from Bernard Madoff. It just ain’t gonna happen….
@ marijai — the phrase my mom always used was “I’m not your friend, I am your mother.”
@marijai – my mom would say either “if I wanted another friend I’d pull up a stool at Fuersteins’” or “I don’t need another friend, I have more then I can handle” and her best line yet was when I yelled “you don’t let me do anything, I hate you” and she looked right at me, never lost her cool and replied “That’s okay. I love you enough that’s its okay if you hate me”. Than one blew me away.
Ha! My mother was the same, and I had the added lesson of: “I don’t care what you think, it’s my house, my roof, my food, my rules. When you get your own house, you can do what you want, but when in you’re mine I demand courtesy and respect.” She got it too.
One thing we all have in common, is we knew were raised with the understanding that love might be unconditional but relationships aren’t. It’s a pretty invaluable tool to apply in any relationship, thanks mom and dad!
@Prodigal, Chemgal, and Classy, I’ve heard some versions of those too….her other favorite line when I wanted to do something everyone else eas getting to do, go to, etc.
“…so-and-so is NOT MY CONCERN. YOU are MY MAIN concern. You always have been, you always will be, and out of my concern for you, I said NO!”
I’m from the south, and when Mama says no, Mama means no. Asking again might have gotten me backhanded or at least grounded for a long time!
I agree marijai…my mother is a southern lady also and if I asked again after she said no I would flinch because I knew what was coming.
I got “I am not so and so’s mother I am your mother, and I said no.”
I just can not imagine disrespecting my mother the way Ashley does hers. Even when I was 18 my mother still did not allow me to run wild. When I came home from college to visit I still had a curfew, just because someone turns 18 does not mean that they are mature enough to handle adult things. Even though I was a mature 18 year old, I was an idiot compared to the person I am now 12 years later.
@Classy…yep, something about a southern mother who can put things in perspective for you really quickly! My mom never said you “can”, she said you “will”, as in you will be respectful, you will use the manners you have been taught, you will go to school and make good grades, and most of all, you WILL NOT get a free ride in life, so don’t expect to get a free ride with me, so you WILL contribute to the household in some way. And I did, be it chores, working (after I got out of high school), etc.
Most of all, I’m so thankful she raised me as a single parent like that. It has made me the strong, independent woman I am today. She taught me to be with someone because I want to, not because I needed someone to take care of me. And so far, she’s always been right about everything! LOL
@chemgal,prodigal cheez,
Two fantastic post’s.I couldn’t agree more.Also,for the longest time I was on the fence about Jaqueline.I didn’t dislike her but I didn’t like her either.Then one night I was watching,can’t even tell you what episode or what she said,and I just immediately thought “who is that bitch trying to fool?”.
TC,Robin
I finally got a pic to come up (thanks flipit)but my named has changed to protect the innocent! lol
Robin aka Robinez
Who said Theresa looked like a beluga whale? I googled beluga whale and guess what….she does! Joe resembles a sea turtle and the kids look like Sqidwert. If they loose their NJ home they can all just live in a pineapple under the sea.
What am I going to do with my fantastic analyzation skills when this season ends? Is it possible the DC ladies are just as dysfunctional? I think perhaps reckless will have to take the lead on that one as she has more DC experience. This season was particularly gut wrenching for me as I returned home for my 20th reunion this summer (to Northern NJ) and realized my feelings that I went to school with a bunch of Teresas, Danielles, and Carolines wasn’t far from the mark.
Kudos to Juicy, the guy is a black belt. My respect for him just increased even as I realized Teresa is even more of a liar. She claims the kids go once a week to martial arts. No way! And gia may occasionally go, but she does not know how to bow correctly or hold her arms, so there is no way she is a serious student. Done getting ahead of myself — for now!
@chemgal Yup!Another lie.You know what is so weird about Teresa and her lies? She tells transparent whopper’s.With a straight face! Fertility,foreclosure,lateness,oh and how she can turn an entire incident on it’s head when she essentially recaps it is a lesson in insanity.
Sent too soon.
I’ll bet that 75% of the people that watched the Karate lie knew she was lying when they saw the kids OPENING BRAND NEW GI’S !!That they purchased from the dojo! The other 25% were going to the bathroom or getting a snack.Otherwise they would have known she was lying too.
The weird part to me is this.Can she be so dumb that she figure’s everyone else is just as dumb? Her easily disproved lies indicate it.
TC,Robin
I noticed that too about the karate class…new clothes, kids did not know what to do. Who was the other poor kid that had to participate in this nonsense? Also, who thinks Joe was trying to break it to Teresa that they are going to be living over the pizza shop? I love they way she justified all her real estate investments, with some going bad. They are still forclosures, Stupid! And your own home should not be an investment property…you’re supposed to hold on to that one, Idiot! If they are back next season, they probably will not be living in the marble palace anymore.
Whoa…. Reckless_Saturn_11 – “life has teeth and it will bite back. You can only say so much, taunt so much, and in general be an asshole before life bites back.”
I’ve never heard it phrased like that. That is GENIUS.
@cheez and chemgal – excellent observation about the baby.
I too have always thought that Jacqueline was probably a cocktail waitress and met Chris on the job. She just has that bad girl gone good routine. In the first season her relationship with Ashley reminded me of a former friend’s relationship with her daughter. Friend X had a baby at 16 and was a wild single woman while her daughter was young. At first I really didn’t take a close look at the mother/daughter dynamic. Then when her daughter was about 7 there was an incident with one of her mother’s boyfriends (friend X allowed the BF to discipline the kid). Her daughter came and talked to me later that day and I realized how much resentment this 7 year old kid had towards her mother.
Her daughter is now in high school and we don’t speak but knowing how things were in the developmental years, the “Ashley Situation” seems like a fit. She tried to be her daughter’s best friend when what she needed to be was her mother.
I tried to watch last night but to be honest I think my disgust for the women make it difficult. I ended up tuning them out then putting on Arrested Devlopment.
And the fun never stops…this was in my morning paper:
http://www.northjersey.com/news/071910_danielle_Staub.html
Not only about Danielle, but about a Posche stalker!!!
Twunty — watching Josh trying to man up and hold everything together and then break down crying when Phil apologized for being a bad father. Watching Phil summon all his strengh to tell Jake he was “very happy” so that Jake wouldn’t feel guilty for leaving to go to rehab. My sofa is still drying out from the tears. I feel privileged to be let into these people’s lives, fucked up as they often are — Oh wait, wrong show!
Twunty- Oh how I loved Captain Phil! Tonights 2 hour special was good. I will not ruin it for any of the fans…I also love all the recaps that you do, although the past few shows, I don’t know how you do it!
This is the first time I have commented on this train-wreck of a show. I just watched the last 2 episodes, and this is what I got from it…It is my opinion that when Theresa told Joe about the “she said our house was under forclouser” I noticed that Juciey Joe just kept his mouth shut. Me thinks he knows a hell of a lot more then he is saying to old wifey poo there. I don’t think that Ashley should have gotten into the drama with Danielle’s bs..so I kind of think that Ashely gets what she desirves…
On a side note, I feel you ladies on your hot flashes and bitchiness! I have been having those the past few months, and I will say this, I just entered my 30′s…can someone please tell me what the heck is wrong?!?! Please don’t be to hard on this newbie…
Holy freaking hell!! Look at what I found on IMDB: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0699047/
Danny (Provenzano)is a freaking ex-mobster-turned-wannabe-actor!! No wonder why he’s on the show!! He’s totally the Slade of NJ!!! Except he only gets to bang the fugly psycho hose beast!!
@Alison, we’re only hard on newbies when it is clear they are Mrs. Saunders! All of Twunty’s brainwashed, kiss ass followers tend to be nurturers. It seems to be our default setting. So we welcome you with open arms. While I’m not a doctor anywhere but in my own head, take what I’m saying with a grain of salt. At your ripe young age having hot flashes think about a calcium/magnesium deficiency. Those viactive chews are a great way to get both. I live on them. The other items I mentioned earlier may also help, primrose oil or flax seed oil and milk thistle. For the bitchiness, stay away from assholes. Its amazing how much nicer I am when I follow that advice myself.
@chemgal Thanks for the info. I am not ready for the change of life yet, I haven’t even had kids yet! Hot flashes and the San Diego summer are not for me! Staying away from assholes, now that is going to be kind of hard in my line of work…I am a pharmacy tech, I would say 1 out of 10 customers is an asshole!
I am sorry, but if some one ratted me out, and I had to spend 15 years in the clink because of them, there is no way in Hell I would be friends with them again. But then again if they were on a tv show, eh, maybe not so much, I mean come on, anyone can google you and see what kind of shady shit you did in the past…next week we get to so Danielle’s ex…I wonder what he thinks of all of her bs, and letting the girls be on this show…
@tvaholic I thought that Danny had a different last name. I have read one of the articles posted in these commemnts, and he had a different lastname, and was sueing for like 100,000 or some crazy shit like that.
Oh tvaholic, I love thee. That’s him alright. Jeez. Has it ever been determined what our Petite Felon was in the Clink for? The fact that Danielle kept trying to make him sound so menacing when he was acting as her “bodyguard” at the Brownstone makes me think he did something minor or took the fall for someone else- cause we all know he’s a standup, loyal, always there for you/ has your back kinda guy. God knows he and Danielle have told us enough.
@skatt-is it sad that I’m so excited to have found this little tidbit & have been Googling him? It all began when I saw a link on another blog (& since posted here by njgasmifan) about a different Danny going after Danielle’s money. (HA!) But here’s another little bit I found :http://www.nytimes.com/2003/09/17/nyregion/art-imitated-crime-but-the-jail-term-is-real.html
The best part is at the end when he talked about preaching non-violence.
Oops, in case link doesn’t work:
http://www.nytimes.com/2003/09/17/nyregion/art-imitated-crime-but-the-jail-term-is-real.html
It’s so obvious he is using Danielle to get into showbiz. I wonder if he’ll ever realize that he’s really just comic relief?
Hello guys! I’m another newbie to posting but have been checking out the ‘gasm for a month or so & love it!
Had to pass on some info on Danny that I found. Don’t remember the address but there is a YouTube video that will amaze you! I just Google’d. Danny Provanzano on Jimmy Simmer Live & the video & other sites came up.
That should be Jimmy Kimmel Live!!
Tvaholic: So, I wonder if his gigantic friend with the facial tics was also “in the Biz” before the slammer. Also, was Danielle in “Vampire Vixens from Venus(1995)”? COULD WE GET THAT LUCKY????
@skatt: Sigh, if only , that would be pure GOLD!!
Twunty – when can we expect another RHONJ recap? I’m going through withdrawal!
I could not watch the entire episode last Thursday, had to turn it off. The show gets more and more disturbing and Bravo cherry picks the viewer feedback so it’s pretty biased.
I’m enjoying your sane and hilarious commentary. it’s a relief to laugh at it all.
My gut reaction to Jacqueline as her character unfolds for all to see is: This woman was/is a Bimbo. I see her in such a different light now. She keeps getting physically uglier as the season progresses. Seems like Ashley was never taught right from wrong, and now we see the negligent mom trying to pretend otherwise. Am I corrrect that Ashley called her a phony (or was it just eye rolling) when Jacq. tried the stern “good mom” act on her?
Danielle is easy prey to rag on, but I’m surprised at myself to find that I actually feel she’s the one who’s calling it like it is at present and that she’s absolutely right to stand up for herself.
Caroline Manzo started the bullying and verbal assaults towards Danielle back in Season One (i.e. she’s “Garbage”) and has since made a family entertainment out of it. The Manzo gang (including Teresa) joined up to attack Danielle, an unprotected single woman. I grew up in NYC and if a group attacks a lone, mentally unstable and unprotected person they would be considered the lowest of the low – morally bankrupt.
The fact that Teresa (being one of the most morally bankrupt) is now financially bankrupt restores my faith in the universe.
For those of you planning on attending the Giudice auction in August, you can find the complete 13 page listing of items here: http://www.realitytea.com/tag/teresa-giudice/
Included are Gia’s ATV and that efuckin mirra that measure 8ftx10ft! I call for road trip! I’ll pick up anyone who wants to go, starting in Michigan. Hell, I say we rent a bus and watch old episodes along the way, that way we can be totally primed upon arrival!
Did Twunty decide to stop recapping RHONJ? Just wondering.
@linda-no I think that she does 2 for 1. But I can’t say for sure, I know it has been like that the past few recaps.
@imnotther-I would totally go on that road trip with you, but, I would have to fly from So-Cal, and I am not a good flyer, let alone a good passenger in the car….I would need a few xanax and a barf bag! For both actually. And it is so funny, that she still claims that they are not having money problems. Hell I think we all are having money problems, we all just know when to quit! I still stand by my statement in an earlier comment, I think that when Theresa told Joe that “Danielle said our house was under foreclosure”, and he just stared at her, that he knows more then he was telling her. I think he knows exactly what is going on, but he still lets her spend all that money on clothes and crap for the girls…Gia isn’t going to like having to take her pb&j to school everyday in a brown paper sack!