RHONJ Recap: Never Say Goodbye

Welcome back to Part 2 of the Real Housewives of New Jersey Reunion. To be honest – it was not exactly the most riveting hour I’ve even seen on Bravo.  To be really honest – I found the half-hour episode of Fashion Hunters dedicated to the mystery of the Chanel found at a garage sale to be far more entertaining.  Was it real or fake?  It took every expert in NYC to figure it out.  But, I’m only responsible for recapping one of those complete wastes of time.  Grab your hairspray honeys, we’re headed back to Jersey!

When we left off, things were getting heated there with Caroline’s pronouncement that she was taking her own advice and dumping Teresa. So our fearless candy ass leader takes us to a lighter topic, and that’s how horny Midget Joe is. This part is sure to be nauseating. Midge wants it twice a day and doesn’t even get it once.

No touching. What did you think ‘On Display’ meant?

Then we get a recap of everyone’s sex life which I’m too grossed out to recap. Kat does mention that PDA is wonderful, but the Gorgas take it to another level. Then again, we also see a clip of Lebanese Dilbert saying that his relationship with Kat is “sizzling” which is definitely more than I want to know.

Okay, I’m trying so hard to just get to the next topic, but we also cover how Midget Joe loves to wear women’s clothes. Does Mel wonder that he’s gay? No, turns out he always loved wearing women’s clothes. I’m not sure how that explains anything but I’m just not going to think about it.

There are also rumors on the internet that Mel once “swam in the lady pond”, AC says, his crazy eyes nearly crossing out of his head in excitement. Apparently that story is Mel had a friend in high school who was gay and then sold a story to the tabloids saying they were more than just friends. AC says he has also heard rumors that Mel and Midge have an open relationship.

What? Why are you looking at me?

But no, she says that’s not true either. We also cover the Brown Smurf’s alleged rendezvous at the TGI Fridays and a question of possible little Brown Smurf love children floating around, but Teresa denies both. Holy crap, they are still not done with this topic. We now need to cover Caroline and Al’s sex life. I am now legitimately nauseous. Do they have more sex now that the kids have moved out? Caroline does us the much appreciated favor of saying it’s nobody’s business, although of course Teresa has to interject that Caroline is very sexy.

Yeah, still hate you.

Then we cover all Caroline’s crazy hairstyles. She tells us she is “hair impaired”. AC liked the slicked back thing. I personally enjoyed the flock of seagulls look. Okay, now we’re finally at an interesting question – seems someone out there in real reality finds it a bit hard to believe that the Manzo boys are on their own. Do Caroline and Al help out?

Oh, just stupid things, Caroline brushes off the question. Like food shopping, she adds. “No rent?” queries AC. Oh noooooo, assures Caroline with no further explanation of exactly how the rent is otherwise paid although it surely relates to a grand Manzo success.

Then we look back to Caroline’s journey at the community college radio station including her sweet and thoughtful comment to Lauren about how she was carrying around eight pounds of sausage in a five pound bag. Oh, then we go back to the Gorgas Christmas party where the Manzos kicked Kim G. out. Apparently some of the viewing public thought it was somehow damaging to Chris because of his friendship with Kim G.’s son. Caroline is downright murderous in defense of her actions. She says the boys are still best friends and Kin G.’s kid was just at her house last week. She does admit that she never liked the mother.

Teresa takes the opportunity to interrupt and advise Caroline that she always stuck by her when it came to Kim G. “Are you trying to tell me that you’re not speaking to Kim G. for me?” asks Caroline in a controlled rage. “No, I’m just saying I didn’t talk to her for you,” Ter explains idiotically. I can’t even recall what any of the Kim G. feuds were about but I’m pretty sure Teresa was responsible for her own.

Then we talk more about the eight pounds of sausage in the five pound bag. AC wants to know if Caroline is part of the problem. Absolutely not, she exclaims heatedly. Furthermore, she will not be telling Lauren she’s beautiful when she needs to lose weight. Someone else thinks Albie looked a little depressed this year. She says the thing that happened with school weighs heavy on him. We learn that he has a gun, which hopefully won’t be a problem with the depression thing, but will help in his quest to work for the Hudson County Sheriff. I don’t know if I see Albie as a cop, but something tells me Midget Joe would enjoy it.

Another minor scandal in New Jersey – the governor fired Al from the NJ Water Supply Commission. I have no idea what that is, but it sounds like an onshore operation somehow related to the parent company of BLK water headquartered at Granny Pat’s farm.

Yo, I got the governor on the line.

But that’s not even the scandal! The scandalous part is the reason why – turns out there’s an apartment above the Brownstone. First of all, I’m not sure how that relates to Al being off the commission. But a secret lair above The Brownstone? Teresa’s not the only one who wonders what goes on in that place!

Caroline predictably glosses over the apartment with assurances that no one actually lives there and that it’s just a place for Al to crash so that he does not have to traverse the great distance to their home in between Brownstone parties. How far, you ask? Eight whole miles. AC asks if it’s a “tryst pad”. Caroline laughs it off and says during the times that she’s there, she’s just watching TV. Which I suppose explains the need for Al to have a tryst pad.

Oooh, and then AC reports that several people have written in to say that Car needs to “sit down and shut up” and that they’re “tired of her superior attitude”. Caroline, who is not at all delusional like Teresa, interprets this to mean her feedback is “rough”. She is corrected to “unsolicited”, which she fully denies. She blames her shit stirring busybody ways on having been on a “crazy ass merry go round that doesn’t stop”. A merry go round that you signed up for, that you continue to ride around and around, all the while preaching to everyone about how way high above the merry go round you are.

AC asks Teresa, who has been on this show with Car for four years, and friends with her for ten, what she thought of Caroline’s advice. Ter says she never asked for it but she was willing to hear it. But she also adds that she didn’t need Car’s advice when it came to family, because she didn’t know what she was talking about.

And then, AC asks Caroline if she’s a hypocrite for passing out family advice when there are reports of her and Dina feuding. “No,” she says looking at him like how dare he even ask, and goes on to preach that her heart is pure and true and her and her sister are good people.

What happened, AC asks eagerly? Caroline says she loves her sister but she’s lost her relationship with her because she was lead to believe things that weren’t true. By who, the chihuahua yaps? “Do you really want to know?” snarls Caroline. I smell Teresa!

Garlic and old chicken heads, all the best ingrediences!

But Caroline likes to stir her shit slowly, so she just kind of whines that Dina has a “good friend who likes to talk and say things that aren’t true about me and Jacqueline”. Then she remembers that they’re filming the reunion and there’s not a whole shooting schedule to drag this out, so she gets to the point and tells Teresa, “I’m looking at you.”  Duh.

“Yeah, okay,” says Teresa, laughing. Caroline reports that she has emails or texts or something and Jacqueline has them too. Teresa says she would love for her to prove it. “Bring it,” she says, finger waving and everything. Mel takes particular offense to this. “What is wrong with you?” she asks, all distressed. Oh, please. Then she starts calling Ter evil. Okay, now we’re talking.

“I’ll bring Dina here!” Teresa declares. But she won’t come, she backtracks a second later, because she doesn’t want to see Caroline. Ter says it’s sad, but then Mel pipes in to say that actually, Teresa and Dina weren’t even talking as recently as six months ago. “Well, this is news,” says gossipy AC.

So I guess somehow, Ter went behind Caroline’s back and talked to Dina and things got ugly and then Dina thought Caroline never supported her. Caroline tells us that when you get into the big time fame world, people “drink the Kool Aid”. Teresa is accused of being totally wasted on the stuff, to which she replies, “I’m as real as they come! And you know it! You know it!”

Mel tells her to keep saying it and maybe it will come true. Then Caroline says that she could “choose” to be in the tabloids, but instead she chooses to be a mother to her children. Now Teresa wants to know what happened to Caroline. And she also throws in that she understands why Dina stays away. “You happened to me, and these people!” yells Caroline. Then she says that she’s not going to waste her time with this, and Teresa’s full of shit. Teresa, however, thinks Caroline is full of shit.

More accusations fly, and Teresa tells Caroline to take a look at her own family before passing judgment on hers. Caroline defends herself saying that she talks to 8 out of 10 of her siblings. Well, that’s not really such a great percentage, you know. But I guess with that many people, there’s bound to be a feud or two on an ongoing basis.

Caroline also reports that Dina is not talking to Jacquee, Chris or the kids. “It’s hurtful and unnecessary,” says Caroline. Well, it’s probably not Teresa’s fault. Dina’s an uppity bitch who thought she was too good to be on reality TV. And Caroline might be jealous of Dina’s HGTV success. My Mom found this theory hilarious. She told me about something she had just read about Dina,  featuring her ingenious ideas for pumpkin decorating. “She says we should paste glitter and jewels on it. If you want to call that success, then I guess Caroline might be jealous,” she reported, unimpressed.

Well, the biggest bonus to Jacquee’s absence in my opinion was that we wouldn’t have to talk about Moonface, but AC is hell bent on discussing this stupid topic. We recap a bunch of the wretched things she’s done, and then AC asks Caroline how she thinks it made Chris feel. “It hurt him,” she reports sagely. But she also says it was just a kid saying some stupid things, and she regrets it now.

Why did Jacquee and Chris never hold their ground, AC asks? Because of Jacquee’s guilt, Caroline says, which is blunt but true. How would you handle it if Victoria behaved that way, AC asks turning to Kat. Oh, I kind of forgot she was there. And Kat is thrilled to jump up on her high horse and talk about how Moonface just grew up differently because she was the child of a single parent and -

Find a way to say it with a cannoli or shut up.

But of course, she will not.Furthermore, Vic the virgin felt especially bad watching Moonface act like a Milania wannabe, while the in next scene, Kat’s family was having a “Cleaver moment” says Kat. Oh, the Cleavers had a slutty daughter too? I thought it was just boys, but then again I’m younger than Captain Cannoli.  That show was before my time.

And who does AC love the most this season? Rosie! Oh, everyone loves a mobbed up lesbian. We learn that she’s younger than Kat, and she does not like to get caught up in the drama. She is closer with Midge Joe than with Ter, who was always closer with Kat. Then we talk about Kat and her supersize cannolis and hookah parties.

“You brought a new flavor to New Jersey,” AC tells her. We recap her cooking and pretending her daughter’s a virgin, and then we talk more about the brain tumor that the kid had when she was eleven. Well, it’s sad and all but it’s been covered. Is there a reason why we need to hear more?

Well, thanks to Ter there is! She of course has to remind us of her involvement – will she be taking credit for saving Vic’s life? I would so not be surprised. But she just wants to tell us how what happened to the virgin changed her life. “I was at the hospital every day,” she says proudly. Well, I don’t know about every day, Kat comments.

“Well, I was there a few times,” Ter brushes off. You were there before and after surgery, Kat corrects her. Eh, twice, every day, what’s the big difference. It’s just like that bitchy Kat to be caught up in the details of her kid being on death’s door. The important thing here, is that Vic’s brain tumor touched Teresa’s life. Thanks to that whole experience, Ter doesn’t sweat the small stuff.

“Um, you gotten derailed by some small stuff, like housewarming cards and sprinkle cookies,” AC is quick to remind her. But Teresa’s defense is that if someone jabs you, you jab them back. I just love that there was an actual war caused by sprinkle cookies.

And then we talk about Lebanese Dilbert, who also likes to stir the pot with Teresa. AC wants to know more. Kat says he’s known Ter since she was seventeen, and that’s just they way they joke. Ter says it used to bother her years ago, but then she just stopped talking to him. “I distant myself,” she tells everyone. “Distanced,” Professor Starfucker corrects her. She doesn’t really care that much, and to be honest, if he was a real reporter he would remember that in the last hour she already told him that she has her own language that she’s perfectly happy with, but he’s just an asshole so he continues to correct her until she pretends that she cares and says it right.

Regardless, she ended up spending less time with them because of Lebanese Dilbert. And I hate to give any credibility to her delusional theories, but any guy that picks on a girl that much probably does want to have sex with her. Kat tries to defend Lebanese Dilbert by saying that the Brown Smurf used to laugh along along with him, which proves nothing because Brown Smurf is the biggest jackass of them all. And Ter does acknowledge that, and also that Smurfy refused to speak up for her. But of course in her version, he was just being gentlemanly and not wanting to cause a fight between her and her cousin.

So was there anything specific that Lebanese Dilbert said to Ter? The holy water comment bothered her. She seems confused on whether he was calling her the devil or an exorcist or whatever, but she didn’t like it. Kat says that he was just joking around. And Teresa has a moment of brilliance (well, for Teresa) and tells Kat that at first she was offended because she didn’t understand it, but now that she knows it was a joke, she accepts it! He was just joking!  Kind of loving Teresa for that one.

And then one of my favorite topics of all time – the unattended baby incident at THE CHRISTENING! We get a recap of Kat saying that Teresa said “family sucks”. Ter tells us that Kat “has another side to her”. We hear Kat’s eighty-million totally innocent versions of how when you’re a Mom all you care about is kids and safety. We see the first fight at the Brownstone, the stealing of the Gorgas for Christmas dinner, and of course, the unattended baby. Well, we never actually see the unattended baby, but I guess that’s not really the point by now.

Kat puts on all her sad faces and says that she just doesn’t understand how things got so out of proportion. She would never insult Teresa’s ability as a Mom, no matter how attended her baby was or wasn’t! We get a few shots of Rosie glaring, which could be its own show.

And back at the reunion, Ter explains that no Mom wants to be attacked. Kat once again argues that she didn’t mean anything by all the unattended baby comments, and further clarifies that she didn’t say Ter “left them” unattended, just that they “were” unattended. Caroline jumps in to scream at Teresa that Kat was only wheeling her kids out of danger, but who are we kidding? These are Teresa’s kids. Audriana was probably swearing at Kat in baby Italian the whole time.

“Whe the tough got going, you ran away!” Teresa yells, ignoring the unattended baby angle completely. Kat yells back that she wheeled the baby off and gave her to Maria. Ter screams that her children were never in danger, and Caroline yells, “Just say thank you!”

I think Ter finally says thank you, but Kat still wants to tell Teresa to be more secure. Ter immediately re-engages, telling Kat that she’s been trying to “stick it to me” all along. Kat tells Ter not to be so defensive, to which Ter points out that she’s being attacked by all three of them! And their gay ringleader.

Finally, Ter says that she took offense to the whole thing, but she’s owning it and she’s fine with it now. Oh, but it’s not over. Now Kat wants to talk about the blog Teresa wrote just last week “attacking my character”, Kat accuses. “You called me sneakily and manipulative,” she tells Teresa. “She is,” replies Ter with a shrug, her cute little goldfish brain conveniently forgetting telling Kat how fine she was with things thirty seconds ago.

Let’s talk about Christmas. Of last year, of course. We recap Ter’s devastation over the Gorgas having Christmas with Kat and Lebanese Dilbert, and how Kat was a bad cousin for stealing the Gorgas away. Ter says that she always has Christmas with her brother, but Mel and Kat explain that this year was different because they were having problems. Mel also throws in how utterly devastated little Antonia was to have only spent such a short amount of Christmas with her cousins, but they did get three hours.

Which of course turns into another fight over whether the actual time spent at the Guidices was three hours, cause Ter seems to remember it being one hour. And then Caroline has to get involved and wonder why Teresa couldn’t appreciate the baby steps. There’s a lot of yelling and name calling on this one, and Car and Mel end up in a side conversation about how crazy Teresa is. But not enough to stop Car from yelling at her that she took the hour she had with her family and she ruined it. She tells Ter she should be grateful for any time because “I’ll take a second with my family!” she proclaims dramatically. Then she yells more about how ridiculous the whole thing is and sits back to figure out how late she’ll have to stay after taping to sign the contract for Season 5.

But Mel’s not done – she brings up Brown Smurf calling her a “raccoon face” behind her back. “He was talkin’ about Kat!” Ter says by way of explanation. Mel is horrified. Kat just shrugs that she can take it. “Teresa?” AC addresses her. “Yes, baby,” she answers. Did I tell you how much I love Ter today? Yes, she’s deluded and crazy and mean, but she is totally fucking invincible.

Of course what I love about her is what AC has a problem with. “You have such a firm stance, it’s hard for you to hear things,” he tells her kind of nicely. Well, once things are explained to her, she’s fine she says. Then she goes back to fight with Kat about the night at the Brownstone when Kat first brought up the case of the unattended baby, and accuses her of throwing a dig in a public place.

So where do you go from here, AC asks? Are they in a good place. Of course Teresa says yes and of course Kat says no. Kat says that they might have been in a good place earlier, but now it’s bad again. Ter reminds her that this is what happens at the reunion. Car chimes in unsolicited, naturally, to say that she’s in a “crazy place” and would like to leave. Then Kat’s back to say that Ter was the one who threw a rock at her back, hit her and then said she didn’t mean it.

Then we’re somehow back to Ter vs. Mel, and some blog when Teresa said that she was glad that everyone could see how transparent Mel was and how she broke up their family. Mel claims she had “zero” to do with it, but as far as Teresa’s concerned, she didn’t do anything to ever make it any better and therefore it was totally her fault.

And let’s recap the competition between sister in laws. Teresa says that she had a bigger christening, Mel says that Ter is a faker. But we also see Mel using Teresa’s hair and wardrobe stylist, who stupidly tells Mel that Ter is intimidated by her. We see Ter talking about Mel’s card referring to her “re-done home” and recount the battle of the sprinkle cookies, about which Mel does not understand how someone could throw a pregnant woman’s sprinkle cookies in the garbage. I’m not sure what the pregnant part has to do with anything, but I do know that the next time I want to start shit with someone, I’m just making them sprinkle cookies.

Caroline says they’re the same person, only they don’t know it and we end with clips of both of them blowing kisses to the air. And survey says – Mel might be a copycat! The Bravo viewers have spoken to say that she dresses like Ter, wears her hair and makeup like her, speaks like her…and Mel’s confused. “What did I copy?” she asks deludedly. JUST LIKE TERESA.

But Mel points out that Teresa herself bought a dress for her housewarming that was the same as the one Mel wore at Gino’s christening. Which was not THE CHRISTENING, I don’t think. But I do get those funny looking babies confused. Mel also says that they both live in North Jersey, so they have the same stuff. Kat and Car speak up at the same time to say that they have the same bedspreads and bathrobes.

And then we hear from the viewers on Team Mel. Ter seems obsessed with Midge Joe – doesn’t she get that he’s Mel’s husband? Then we learn the very interesting fact that Midge was engaged twice before Mel, and the first two couldn’t get a long with Teresa! Teresa argues that she embraced Mel, but Mel says that it was all on Ter’s terms, which sounds about right. But back to how Mel copies her. Mel is more American, and Ter is more Italian, she explains.

And Ter has come prepared with some evidence – the difference between Mel’s wedding to Joe and the christening of their first child. Mel agrees that Antonia’s christening was “blinged out”, but that her wedding was not. So you’re saying there were no ice sculptures of Jesus at your wedding? Then I’m not sorry I missed it.

Mel’s explanation is that they simply had more money at the time of the christening. I’m not buying it. Blingier doesn’t necessarily mean more expensive. Mel’s very defensive. She says that she likes to give her kids nice things, is that copying Ter too? When that argument goes nowhere, Mel reverts to once again telling Teresa that she’s tuning evil right in front of her very eyes. I love how when all else fails, everyone just turns to Satan.

Ter says that she couldn’t believe some of the things Mel said. But AC turns it around on her and says that what she said about Mel was worse, and does she have any regrets. She thinks really hard, but can’t really come up with anything. Luckily Mel, who definitely has too much time on her hands, has a handy list of insults saved in her phone. She reads them, off and Teresa stays silent. AC interrupts to ask Ter if she doesn’t at least regret one of the insults on the list. Mel continues with Teresa calling her sneaky at Thanksgiving. “I’ll take that one,” Ter tells Andy, like she’s choosing her salad dressing on date night at TGI Fridays.

And what about Mel? The biggest thing was that she said they pay their bills. She didn’t say that the Guidices didn’t, she quickly points out, but she knows how it sounded. “My husband was pissed about that,” Ter comments, at this point looking completely relaxed in the line of fire, “Own it.”

When the sister in laws weren’t fighting, the men took over, AC reports. But this was all way before Mel came along. Says Mel. They used to do business together, and on this everyone can agree – they never should have. Midge Gorga claims the Brown Smurf has been abusing him for years. He picks on his work, says house is too small, it sucks – I say we’ve heard enough of the eloquent stylings of the Brown Smurf so no need to repeat anymore. Bottom line, Midge always looked up to the Brown Smurf, but could never get his approval.

They used to be friends. The families were close. “Paisans,” says Lebanese Dilbert. But then Teresa married one of them, and now it’s pounding on tables, threatening texts and people calling people animals and garbage. Ter says that time will heal all, but she’s not sure how much time they’ll need.

Three more seasons would work for me.

Then we go back to another one of gay AC’s favorite topics and that’s Brown Smurf’s gay slurs. He reminds Ter that she’s had to apologize for him in the past, but Ter just sighs and explains that he and his friends just call each other that. “Richie’s in on it too!” she throws in. Kat doesn’t reply. She knows her husband’s a potty mouth.

We have gay friends, Ter defends them. But how does he not have awareness of the cameras? AC is desperate to know. He’s just being himself, Ter explains. Do you condone it, AC continues? Ugh, the guy’s a moron, who cares? But Ter plays along an says that yes, she tells him.

Ohhhhh, but we’re not done. Jamie, Caroline’s brother is gay. So what’s her take on it? Surprisingly, she does not believe that Smurfy is being malicious, he’s just uninformed and uneducated. Missing social etiquette, says Kat, who let her daughter wear a whore dress to junior prom. And they won’t let up. Would she let her daughters speak like that? What if Gia ever did it. She would never, exclaims Teresa. Of course not. It would be Milania.

And does the Brown Smurf have a drinking problem? Pause. No. But Mel, you wrote in your blog that it was “unsettling” to see a drunk man chipping his tooth and calling another family white trash. Was Ter embarrassed? Of course not. Sister Sunshine just felt bad he chipped his tooth. She felt bad about the fight with her brother. But everyone had their fair share of “poison”. AC says that it seems like she holds Midge and Mel to a higher standard than she holds her own husband.

Well, yeah. We invented them.

Ter further explains that Smurfy texts, and then he’s over it. But do you think you and your brother are good role models, AC asks? No, she says. And then, we hear a replay of Gia’s “Wake Up In The Morning” song, which is almost as glorious as On Display. All it needs is a team of black guys and a trip to Tia Melissa’s basement.

So how was it for you, AC asks Ter. She said it hurt to see Gia upset, but she says she saw her Mom trying and she just wished that her UncleJoe would try back. “But do you think that’s appropriate?” Saint Caroline wants to know. Mind your business, Ter snaps back. Oh, but Caroline’s entitled to her opinion and she’ll be sharing it whenever she feels fit. They didn’t give her the 3 AM slot at the community college station over nothing, you know.

Mel wants to talk about the comment Gia made to Jacquee about how she controlled Midge. Everyone agrees that she must have heard that somewhere. And then Caroline’s back in, yelling at Ter, “What you’d with that song was wrong! I’d kill someone before they hurt my child!”

Teresa yells back that she thought it was a beautiful song, and Caroline spews back, “It was a disgrace!”. Well. Looks like jeweled pumpkins aren’t the only things caught in Car’s jealous eye. Let’s be honest – at age nine, Gia’s written and performed an original song, walked fashion week and guested on Gossip Girl. Your kids had a couple of meetings about a t-shirt and some dirty water.

That’s another Guidice success to you, honey.

And of course Kat, who never has anything to say about Teresa’s parenting, says that knowing it was an emotional topic, don’t you think you could have proofread it? Ter argues that Gia wanted to do it. Of course! I love little Gia, and I love that this was totally calculated. But everyone else on the I Hate Teresa Train accuses her of using her child as a tool. “Go scratch,” says Teresa. Caroline literally leans over and scratches her ass. Oh my! But what if her kids see you doing that?

AC wants to know what family means to everyone. Kat recites some stupid greeting card in her brain about how you might not like each other, but you try to resolve things anyway. Ter says that family is love and blood is thicker than water. I say we put them in a cage with all the other Housewives casts combined and watch the bloodsport.

Mel harps on loyalty and respect, noting that “we” need to learn respect. And then, it’s time for Caroline. Of course, she has a dramatic monologue prepared. Family is a group bound together not by choice, but by blood. You have to forgive them, not because you want to but because you have to.

And then – she sobs. She remembers the day Dina was born. She remembers decorating her cradle. And now Dina’s using those same designs to decorate pumpkins on some other cable channel. How funny. Car concludes with a dramatic flourish, about how they have to go through what they have to go through. If she has to hate her then that’s fine. Her new best friend Mel holds her hands.

AC muses about how sad it is to see friendships go. Ter somberly agrees, and Caroline can’t even deal with that. She makes sure that Ter knows her tears are not for her, but for her family and because Jacquee isn’t there. Then she tells Ter that they never even had a friendship – it was just an acquaintance. And I can sort of see that – Caroline did always seemed to just tolerate Teresa, but after ten years, it is more than an acquaintance. So even though I probably wouldn’t want to be friends with Teresa either, Car can’t talk her way out of the last ten years of doing it.

“See how people turn like that,” Teresa says to Kat, “Beware.”

And that’s all. AC thanks them for taking a break from shooting the far off distant Season 4 and reminds us them that we look forward to seeing what we do next.  Next summer.

Well lovers, thanks for reading!  I had a blast recapping this – long live the blood feud!  xo