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Now for the real moment of doom – Mel whips out her phone and is ready to call Midge. Ter thinks this is a terrible idea, because he’s going to come to the fashion show and make a scene and then blame her for it. Exactly! Why else would Mel make the call? Two can play at this made-for-TV drama game, you know.
Ter is now furious with Mel for bringing Midge into it. She claims she doesn’t want her brother getting hurt. She storms the party asking “Where’s that bald guy?” to everyone in sight.
Inside the ladies room, Mel is indeed calling Midge. He asks how it’s going and Mel informs him that there was some guy here that she knew she had seen before, but she couldn’t put her finger on it, and I’m innocent, I’m innocent, I’m innocent…and then your sister pulls me in the bathroom and tells me that he’s walking around telling people that I used to be a dancer. So forgot the bald man – the important thing to remember here is that Ter is the messenger and therefore the root of all things evil.
“You never danced!” exclaims Midge, because serving drinks in a bikini is a totally different story than dancing in one. Then he wants to know who the guy is. “Some ugly guy with banged up teeth who used to work in a strip club,” Mel tells him. What does my sister have to do with it, Midge wants to know. Good question, Midge. Maybe not that much, but that won’t stop anyone for frying her for this.
Then Mel says that she wants to defend herself, but she doesn’t want to approach the guy if her husband isn’t there. “Where’s the place?” demands Midge. In New York, why do you want to know, replies Mel fake-innocently. Oh, the old “there’s a guy talking shit on me, but I don’t want to approach him on my own, and oh, you want to know where I am – but why? Not to beat him down or anything which I totally would never want you to do, but if you insist…well, here’s the address.” Total stripper move.
Back at the Housewives tables, Jacquee is asking where Ter and Mel are and then –hey, what do you know, another mysterious text! This one saying that earlier in the day, Ter was at a new salon with Kim D. hatching a plan to embarrass Mel at the show. Everyone immediately takes the mystery text to be gospel. Everyone also has a nice big smirk on their face as they realize Mel is the target. What’s Italian for Schadenfreude?
Oh, everyone but old school Kat whose exclusion from the action is unintentionally hilarious. “Everyone’s in on it but me,” she mopes. “I’ll keep it that way. I’ll play dumb. I’ll eat my salad. It’s a good salad,” she concludes, stabbing her iceberg wedge morosely.