Kim D. persists in “apologizing” and Ter tries to tell her it’s done and not to talk about it. She really does seem to be trying to squash it while Kim D. keeps it going. “You girls are all good,” she soothes them for no reason at all, and then prances away.
I want to make a joke comparing her to a horse, cow or duck but I also don’t want to offend horses, cows or ducks.
Mel half-yells after her to “take a walk”, then apologizes to queen Caroline for daring to yell in her presence. Then she tells us she thinks Kim D. had a “huge part in this” and she also doesn’t believe Ter had no idea this was going on. Well, she’s not claiming to have had no idea what was going on, but how does knowing about it once the train was in motion translate to masterminding it? But now Mel is squinting her eyes and saying how it’s “not adding up”.
Just cause I can’t add don’t mean I’m to blame.
“Sounds like a setup to me,” chirps Jacquee, swimming in informative texts. Caro wants to see the mystery text again, and she and Lauren shake their heads and cluck about how Ter won’t stop. “I want to show you something,” Caro says to Mel, phone poised in the air like a de-facto shit stirring spoon. They show Mel a text and again there’s heated murmurs of how things “just aren’t adding up”. Since everyone else admits they can’t do math, here’s how that equation works out:
Teresa has her hair done at a different salon (at Kim D.’s request, but never mind that).
Pete Guidice is there (nothing to do with anything, but he’s related to Ter and looks exactly like Brown Smurf).
Teresa knew something was going to happen and is therefore to blame.
See how that works? Yeah, me neither but from then on it’s like the most illogical court case ever. Mel tells Kat that everything negative in her life comes from Teresa. Ter, for her part, just wants to leave but is convinced by one of the ladies with enormous Jersey hair to stay for one drink, which she obliges.
Back at the Housewives table, Caro is still singing the ballad of She Knew Something Was Going On.
She Knew Something Was Going On …sounds like my next iTunes hit!
Caro wonders what Teresa was trying to prove in the ambush that they can’t even prove she was behind. Jacquee is also convinced it was a setup, but oh yeah, she had a show producer texting her a play by play the whole time. They head out to the parking lot, and all of the sudden, “Is that Rich?” Caroline wants to know. And sure enough, it’s Lebanese Dilbert and Midge! “Oh, shit,” says Caroline. She totally has the wrong idea about this thing, by the way.
Welcome to the party, boys!
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