In the Bravo we’re back but not really segment, we learn why Brown Smurf thought he would get away with impersonating his brother on the driver’s license. They really do look a lot alike, but not so much close up. Riveting.
Back in the Posche fashion show parking lot, Mel is asking that someone “get my motherfucking car”. She’s definitely pissed. Kat says it’s “blowing her mind how deeply Teresa’s involved”. Based upon what evidence? That she got her hair done somewhere else? Oh, but the problem is that Ter didn’t jump in and rescue Melissa when she knew what was happening. “If you associate with scum, you become scum,” wise old school Kat tells us. So who’s the scum here? It’s really hard to tell.
Everyone wonders where Ter is, and Caro tells the group that she’s inside like a coward. “It was your sister,” Mel tells Midge. Where is your proof? And what exactly is it proof of? Now Midge wants to tell Ter off “for hanging out with that slut”. Midge seems drunk, which makes sense to me considering it seems like Lebanese Dilbert drove him there. And now Midge has drunk the sangria flavored kool-aid and is babbling about how Ter “did something” to set Mel up.
“It’s so screwed up,” complains Mel. Lauren and Caro shake their heads over how Ter stirs the pot and sweet, innocent Mel is just standing there, sprinkle cookies in hand, trying to do the right thing.
And Jacquee’s back with more mystery texts that are surely 100% fact – Ter knew about this setup two weeks ago, she reports to Mel. Despite having nothing at all to support this claim, Mel just adds it to the fire and says how ironic it is because she and Ter have never been closer. But at the end of day, Mel decides, Ter just wants to expose her for who she thinks she is.
And if I don’t think I was a bikini dancer, then I wasn’t. Praise Jesus.
Caro is now announcing that she will never attend a Posche fashion show again. Lauren directs her over to Midge so that “he doesn’t think you’re against him”. So if you don’t literally stand next to him, you’re against him? More clear and logical thought from the Jersey town folk.
And there’s Jacquee again, up on her high horse of disgust talking about how she has proof that she was betrayed. First of all, what the hell does this have to do with Jacquee, besides the part where she inserted herself into the drama courtesy of the mystery texts? And second – if you have all this proof of what was going on, why are you not being blamed for knowing about it and not saying anything?
“You’re better than this,” Caro advises Midge. Really, how so? I think they’re all swimming around in the exact cesspool they were meant to be in . Mel is going on and on in his ear about “your sister, your sister”. She tells us that the Posche fashion show is for “trash” – not high class bikini bar workers like herself – and she wasted a night with her kids on this “trash party”. She means that she wasted a night seeing her virgin routine exposed.
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