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Thursday, September 2, 2010
12:01 pm
254 Comments
Tagged: andy cohen, bravo, parody, real housewives of new jersey, recap, spoof, TV, tvgasm
Wow Gasmii–
First, thank you for all the incisive Comments and wacked-out entries for our Where Are They Now contest. Because they’re still coming in as I type this (wearing only a cashmere Snuggie and a pair of ex-BF Martin‘s left-behind boxer shorts), I have extended the competition until next week. And the winner will receive a lovely prize after submitting their address to my private e-mail. Don’t open it in front of your children. Or anyone else’s. Next, as much as I would love to publish further photos of my ex-beloved underpants model, after receiving a strongly worded text (in Spanish, so I know he was really pissed) from the Uruguayan-Australian in question, I cannot.
You know a season finale sucks when the most exciting thing in it is the previews for RHODC. (I am personally riveted by Concentration Camp Barbie Michaele.) After watching Milania and Gabriella Jew-Dice, aka Feral Lemur and The Pretty One snot their way across Italy, we were just marking time until this Reunion show. So let’s jump right in and watch Miss Thing Andy Cohen give Barbara Walters a run for her money with his own personal The Shrew.
“We’re here at the fabulous Borgata Hotel Casino and Spa in Atlantic City,” Miss Thing carefully plugs. Bravo has definitely snazzed things up since the days when he used to corral the Orange County harpies into a public-access TV studio to try to make them cry. Teresa is introduced first, in a garish Look At My Tits dress that I might wear in Puerto Rico if I wanted to get raped. Teresa has a New York Times bestseller. It’s only a cookbook, but it still heralds an upcoming Apocalypse.
Next is red-sequined Jacqueline. Miss Andy asks if she’s “ready for tonight”, as if she’s still pregnant like last time and in danger of miscarrying all over the couch.
Andrea then turns to his right, asking Caroline what’s “different” about her. She says she lost 25 pounds through “portion-control”, which has succeeded in making her look tired and haggard, I’m super-sorry to report.
Perhaps every time someone mentioned Danielle, she skipped a meal. Speaking of La Staub, she’s been positioned next to Caroline, who’s keeping so much couch-distance between them, she’s almost in the Nickel Slots room. Danielle’s in a boob-compressing cream top (you hush now) and showing a lot of forehead.
She calmly accepts Annette’s compliments– she has a new single to go with her new sex tape. You can already tell she’s just itching (Gasmii, please) for a fight.
And she gets her chance when Anna starts things off by asking what the women think of Jersey Shore and Teresa says she’s “not too fond of it”, citing a “girl” on the show who slept with a guy she just met. Teresa’s “old school” and believes in “getting to know someone” before hopping into bed with them, “unlike certain people in this room”. What an oddly random way to set up calling Danielle a hooah! And Teresa’s not done. She says Danielle “can relate” to Snookie and her easy pals, since Dani slept with loser Jew-Dice friend Steve a week after meeting him in Teresa’s long-foreclosed upon shore house “in fronta yah kids”. And here I was thinking we were here to discuss THIS season’s shenanigans. Obviously, and delightfully, apparently anything is fair game tonight…
Danielle, whose meds have clearly been expertly adjusted, sedately dismisses Teresa as “insane”. “You’re a pig. Lookit yahself,” Teresa retorts. “Yah disgusting and yah desprit.” Antoinette reminds them that they used to be friends “at the beginning of Season One“. Danielle isn’t sure about that but then says she THOUGHT Teresa “was a great girl”… however Danielle doesn’t “appreciate anyone talking about MY private life in public.” There’s a great way to prevent that, sweetie. DON’T BE ON A FUCKING REALITY SHOW. Jacqueline pipes up, saying that Danielle was “straddling” Steve in full view of Teresa’s and Danielle’s own kids. Big deal– when I was 6 I walked in on my grandmother’s maid blowing two of my cousins. And I turned out fine.
Amber gets the conversation back on track by introducing a Jerseyisms/malaprops/illiterate-twats montage: “cleavelage” (Teresa); “ethninticity” (Danielle); “therapeutical” (Danielle); plural of woman: “woman” (Dan-Dan); “stanky” (Teresa); “revonavated” (Jew-Dice). Anita nails Danielle for the “woman” thing, which she shrugs off after unsuccessfully trying to repeat “women” after Anthea. In a touching gesture of dumb-cunt kinship,Teresa volunteers that she uses the term “sangwich”. Teresa and Danielle agree that they like having their own language(s), and Teresa proudly proclaims that she’s “not going to change for anyone”. All I can say is: your poor fucking book editor.
What about the Housewives’ children, Alberta wants to know. How has “their notoriety” affected them? Danielle says that both her daughters are regularly recognized, especially “active” teen model Christine, who must get daily offers to spirit her out of Danielle’s clutches into a healthy foster family (come on Chemgal, step up!). Agnes then brings up Jacqueline’s & Teresa’s new babies, Nicholas and Tawdriana (hey, that sounds like a really classy Russian porn novel), cuing a yawny pregnancy/infant montage, the highlight of which is Teresa’s obsessive need to cover Tawdri’s newborn head with miniature Norma Desmond-wear.
Time for audience questions, Alice’s favorite way to get in passive-aggressive digs at the divas. “Barbara From Syracuse” wants to know why Danielle didn’t call Jacqueline after Nicholas was born. Danielle says that Jacqueline made it clear “in a publication” that Danielle was to stay far away from her kids. Jacqui quickly interrupts to say that they “made peace” after that, but still no love. “Congratulations, Jacqueline,” Danielle wearily deadpans, “he’s very beautiful and I wish you all the best.” Caroline shakes her head darkly and fantasizes about the buffets downstairs. Angela asks Teresa why she chose Dina as Tawdriana’s godmother. Apart from the pricey gift-giving factor, of course. Teresa just loves Dina so much and “now this makes us family”. And what better spiritual role model for a young girl than a gold-digging lynx-eyed ex-manicurist who flounces around town in designer nighties.
Apple says Dina isn’t here tonight– how does that feel, ladies? Caroline says that even though “a piece of the puzzle is missing”, “WE” get to go home and see her, because she’s a big part of OUR life. Abigail asks Teresa why Dina left the show, “is it because of Danielle?” Bingo. Now Astrid must bring up “an accusation” from the end of the Season One reunion. In case we forgot, we get a handy flashback: On the ridiculous sky-blue and heaven-white set that looks like it was borrowed from Praise The Lord, a sobbing Caroline tells Danielle “what you did is so disgraceful, you are garbage and you will nevuh be a frienda mine!” The prevailing Gasmii theory is that Dani had an affair with Dina’s husband (and Caroline’s brother-in-law) Tommy Manzo, which, if true, makes all of Danielle’s attempts to friendly up to the Manzo-Lauritae extra-creepy.
“What happened?” Adeline demands tonight, on this episode. Danielle says that it was about Dani supposedly trying to “have [Dina's] daughter taken away from her”, which Daffi vehemently denies as Caroline shakes her head in mildly disgusted disbelief. “I don’t think she’s an unfit mother,” Danielle insists, bewildered. “Let’s not talk about unfit mothers,” Teresa snips. Jacqueline accuses Danielle of “putting a silencer” on Dina “so she couldn’t talk, legally, or something?” Editors, make sure to save that for next year’s shitty-English montage. Come on, Jacqui! You married a guy whose sister’s father-in-law got whacked by the mob. I think you should know the difference between a silencer and a gag order.
Danielle slyly admits that her “attorneys” might have silenced Dina, after Blondie “lied in a 4-page interview”. Where? Hairless Cat Fancy magazine?! “We can’t talk about it! End! Done! Next!” Caroline barks. Danielle ignores this, gleefully telling Jacqueline “it was very wise of you to point that out, cuz I’m gonna hafta clarify.” Danielle repeats that she never tried to have Dina’s daughter taken away from her. “Do. Not. Speak. Of my sister!” Caroline yells. This commences a fierce spat of bickering with everyone cackling at the same time and Caroline restraining herself from choking the life out of her sofa-mate.
Amy stirs the pot, asking about this alleged gag order. Danielle says her lawyers did it to stop Dina “from talking about things that were not the truth.” Jacqueline suddenly becomes very animated, insisting that “we know more than that” and “we have much more proof on what you did… you don’t know what we know and you’re sticking your foot in your mouth and one day it’s gonna come out”– the foot or the truth?!– “and you’re gonna regret it!” Danielle says that’s “ridiculous” and she has nothing to regret “because I didn’t do anything”. Jacqueline orders Danielle to shut up about Dina. Danielle gets louder and tells Jacqui not to tell her to shut up “when I’m defending myself!” “You’re a piece of garbage!” Jacqueline squeals, going for the tried and true.
This might be a good time to refresh your cocktail or pop a few painkillers (what? it’s a special occasion) because it’s about to get good. Really, really good. Virally good. Aisha innocently suggests they get back to discussing babies. Teresa immediately calls Danielle “disgusting” for not acknowledging Nicholas. Danielle: Did you acknowledge YOUR nephew? There seems to be some weird audio-editing going on in order to bring us to what happens next. First, Teresa snaps “Of course I did.”
Then Jacqueline, twisting her rings, says “Yes! Yes!” Then something snaps in Teresa’s testicle-size brain and suddenly she’s on her feet and past Altovise and up in Danielle’s face shrieking “DO NOT bring up my family!” Caroline actually grins as Teresa goes bat-shit loca: “You f*cking c*nt! Do not bring up my family! You f*cking bitch!”
Aileen stands up and tries to pull Teresa away but she keeps screaming at Danielle: “You piece of sh*t! You f*cking bitch! You motherf*cker! [unintelligible roar as she shoves Annabelle down into his chair]“.
At this point, Danielle gets up and starts walking offstage. T: “You are a piece of GARBAGE!” Apollonia tries to wrangle Teresa by telling her to “come here” like she’s his cockapoo rescue. He grabs Teresa’s arm as she calls Danielle a fucking bitch twice more, screams “I hate her!” and hurls a throw pillow at her! Danielle is long gone but Teresa can’t stop screeching epithets: “She’s a pig! She’s a f*cking c*nt!” and the ever-popular “She’s a f*cking piece of garbage!” Antonia, who has never come this close to being inside a woman before, holds Teresa back as Jacqueline is caught smirking on the couch. Caroline decides to step in and, hilariously, puts Teresa’s mouth between her fingers in a vain effort to shut her vituperative trap. Teresa’s response to this? “BWAAAAAARRHHHH!”
And we’ll be right back!
Just, wow. Whatever this nephew business is, it would have made a great season finale. The soap opera writer in me would love to think it’s tangled up in the Dina-Danielle secret, creating an incestuous glob of hot throbbing trash any reality show would kill to exploit. The good news is that this shocking display of Teresanation means, as certain wise Gasmii have Commented, that if they haven’t already, Feral Lemur, The Pretty One and possibly Gia Zadora if she doesn’t watch her ass, will be receiving the terrible beatings they so richly deserve. And is it any wonder Juicy Joe turns to hung young twinks for a little relief? It’s only been 13 minutes, and already this has surpassed every other hag party Augusta Cohen has ever thrown. Remember the late 80′s, when Bravo was an art-film channel? SIGH…
The break’s over and Teresa has barely simmered down enough to grunt full English words. We get a glimpse of Angelyne’s TelePrompTer with some tripe about a bravotv.com poll, momentarily abandoned as the producers try to regain control of the show. Teresa is still spluttering “piece of garbage” over and over as her hairstylist, the non-Danielle Wives, Aurora and a couple of pixillated security guards try to calm her. “She’s crazy,” the beautician helpfully tells Teresa RE: Danielle, who’s smugly pacing nearby, bust bulging proudly, looking like a 1-900 commercial. “I’m waiting… for YOU. For face lifts, press 2! For square tits, press 3!”
“I can’t bring up something that’s the truth, but they can sit collectively and lie about me?” Dani rhetorically asks the cameraman. “It’s true,” she shrugs. “She didn’t acknowledge her nephew.” Teresa hears this and says “I wanna know who da f*ck she’s talkin to!” The hairdresser says something strange about Teresa “being at the hospital with your kids”. ???? Caroline warns Teresa that T just gave Danielle “what she wanted”. Jacqueline, who apparently hasn’t budged from the couch, maybe because her dress has been safety-pinned over her big caboose, says that Danielle’s “gonna keep whinin tonight– let her do it. Who cares?” Not you, honey, that’s for sure.
Athena speaks to Danielle, asking if she’s “okay”. Danielle refuses to go back on-camera with Teresa after Mrs Jew-Dice “was allowed to get in my face like that?” Annifrid says he “pulled [Teresa] away”, but Danielle thinks she “could have quite possibly been hit”. Yeah, by the ugly stick and no possibly about it. “Someone needs to be on her. If she moves her ass off that couch, again, I’m leaving.” Ashlynn promises “not to let her get up”. Right on cue, Teresa yells “You better get her back here, Alexa! The chickensh*t that she is, she runs away! Get her ass back here!” Alanna calls for order: “Listen to me! You can’t get off the couch.” Teresa tells him she won’t hit Danielle, “believe me”. Why the hell not? It’s not like you have any assets she can sue you for. Ainsley ain’t kidding: he tells Teresa she cannot leave that couch! She promises.
Backstage, Eric, Danielle’s Gay Hair Bear, straightens Madame’s extensions and clucks over Teresa’s behavior. Danielle wants Lori, her “music partner”, within “ear and eyeshot”. Who is this Lori, you might be asking. Apparently quite one bad-ass songbird, since Caroline, back on the couch, is telling Aaliyah that when the ruckus broke out, “they hadda hold her back” from coming “after” Teresa. Danielle’s make-up artist begs her not to cry as Dani bravely holds back the tears. “She’s such an animal,” La Staub saubs. Hair Bear reminds Dani of her affirmation “Amazing things new beginnings”, which she hilariously repeats, desperately reaching deep inside, way past the boob-damage, for the love and the light.
Caroline, going for a bit of comedy herself, advises Teresa to “be smart”. But “she’s goin afta my familee,” Teresa says. “You’re not this person. I’ve never seen this person except when she’s around,” Caroline tells her. “I know!” Teresa says, shrugging in amazement. “Cuz if you were this person, I wouldn’t be your friend,” Caroline assures her table-flipping pal. Alejandra nauseatingly tries to make lemonade out of Teresa’s nasty lemons by telling her how “strong” she is.
You really threw me off you good, he says, then, like a typical gay, asks her if she works out. He reminds Teresa “just don’t cross me”, referring to both his position on the set and his immense power at the network.
Danielle shares hugs and love you’s with her glam squad and then makes her re-entrance onto the set. Caroline refuses to look at her. “We’re back,” Alison tells us, eager to return to the deadly-dull non-nephew baby chat. “Kathy From Livingston” asks Jacqueline if she ever “thanked” Danielle for introducing Jacqui to her “fertility doctor”. So Danielle’s womb is barren and inhospitable– que sorpresa! A simple question for which a yes or no would suffice, but Jacqui, eager to get the bashing re-lit, declares that Dani did introduce her, but only went to one appointment with her and then claimed she went to every one. “So what, Rumpelstilskin, do I owe you my child now?” Jacqueline bitches. “Do you think you got me pregnant?!” Danielle’s pretty narcissistic, so that might be a yes.
Alma gets back to the electronic cue cards and the stupid online poll, which was about which NJ Housewife you’d want as your mother. “A whopping 70% said Caroline!” And a full 100% said they’d prefer the deranged cooze who drowned 5 kids in the bathtub over Teresa. Caroline modestly claims to be surprised by this, she’s not Super-Mom. Teresa yanks down Caroline’s Spanx and inserts her tongue a full rectal inch: “Her kids are in their 20′s and she did an amazing job.” It’s true, it’s been a whole two decades and they’re still alive. Mazel! Danielle received 3% of the vote. LOL. She says she’ll let her kids speak for me. “Or their father,” Jacqueline interjects, trying to start shit. Sadly, it’s time for another commercial.
And another plug for Borgata Hotel Casino & Spa of Atlantic City. Arielle’s next scintillating topic, the “not-so-sanitary” Ham Game, which, in case you went online to look for a Vicodin connection, involves Caroline’s grown children pelting slices of proshoot at each other. I don’t know about you, Gasmii, but the only ham I want to see sex-bomb Albie Manzo slamming is my own. For the record, Danielle doesn’t appear to find this game funny, either. This segues into a schmaltzy B.S. clip package about Caroline’s empty nest syndrome (except her kids all STILL LIVE AT HOME) and her desire to be closer to newly slim husband Albert. And Albie getting thrown out of law school due to “learning disabilities”. Come to Hollywood, carino… I bet I can teach you LOTS.
“Still gets ya, huh?” Alondra has the nerve to ask weeping Caroline after that shamelessly manipulative montage. OMFG, Teresa please start screaming again. Danielle proves she’s not a soulless she-husk by calling for “some tissues”, a request she probably makes a lot. Caroline says Albie “could become the President of the United States and that’d still get me, cuz he doesn’t deserve dat. He’s a good boy.” I’d like to elect him President of My Vagina. As you know, that office is wide open. Shut up, Gasmii.
“Linda From Pinehurst” asks if Caroline & Albert “have ever had a rocky time in your marriage”. Of course, every marriage has rocky times. Teresa, you’re married to a closeted moron … you’re missing a golden opportunity to lose your shit! Alyssa mentions that we learned that Caroline has a beauty secret– she shaves her face, neck and decolletage with “soap or lotion” in order to exfoliate. She clarifies that she does NOT have facial hair: “I’m not a monkey.” Teresa? I’m sure Danielle must have told some local magazine that you and half your offspring are apes– c’mon, let her have it! And… nada. I’m not sure this reunion needed to be 3 hours long.
“Marie From Kentucky” tries to liven things up by calling Caroline a hypocrite “to insult” Danielle for being “a stripper”, yet supporting less-hot-bit-still-fuckable Christopher’s dream of opening a strip-club/carwash. Caroline smilingly denies making that insult– she doesn’t have a problem with strippers. Or even prostitution, she adds, getting in a nice 7-point passive-aggressive dig at Danielle. “Tracy From Seattle” has a question for Danielle: is she living her modeling and/or singing dreams through her kids? No. Ada asks if she’s a stage mother? No. Cue “Jersey Kids” clip package. Plenty of talent-free Gia Zadora here, plus Danielle being a whorendous stage mother, but no Feral Lemur or The Pretty One! Bastards. I’m referring to those kids.
“Chelsea From Livingston” (where the fuck is Livingston? is that what they call the intern cubicle at Bravo??) wants to know how Danielle could dismiss Gia as a potential super-model when she’s only 8? Um, just a guess…
she’s fugnacious?!?
OK, maybe it’s about to get interesting. Danielle sticks by her “only 4-foot tall” reasoning, then smarmily adds that “I hope she becomes everything she wants to be.” Especially an orphan, right, Dani? Oh, BTW, that’s feet, not foot. Are we sensing a pattern here? And Teresa… I think Danielle just brought up your family! Clock Assumpta unconscious and rip that Chinese child-slave hair OUT OF DANI’S HEAD!
Finally, some action: An unidentified viewer or non-union reality show writer asks Teresa to comment on Danielle’s snarky comment about dressing her children in lace and crinoline and her dogs in leopard. Teresa, seeing bright bordello red, demands to know what Danielle meant by that. Since Teresa’s IQ is as low as her hairline. “I have leopard clothing for my dogs,” Danielle replies with infuriating casual grace. LMAO. “So whaddya tryin to say, dat you dress yah kids betterin my kids?!” Caroline cleverly deduces that Danielle was “comparing [the Goils] to animals”. Danielle, loving this, calmly denies. “You’re being phony!” Jacqueline snaps. Teresa looks angry and confused.
Moving on. Anais calls Caroline out for saying “Danielle’s girls had no light in their eyes. Do you regret saying that?” No. Instead of child-like innocence and happiness and light, Caroline sees ” a blank stare” when she looks at the Staubettes. And she’s not gonna take it back or “blame it on editing”. Wow, listen to Cecil B DeManzo over there. Danielle remains sociopathically sedate but gives us a giggle by using the words “happinesses” and “sadnesses” to describe her close emotional bond with those poor, poor girls. Hateful Ho-Bag Jacqueline chimes in, asking Danielle “Do you know they cry at school every day?” Jacqui explains that the teasing and filthy rumors drive Christine and Jillian to tears “in the nurse’s office”. Well, that I believe. Danielle dismisses it by saying “they’re growing… they’re teenager and tweenager.” I just an icy chill down my spine. She is SUCH a sociopath she can’t even admit that her hideous onscreen behavior MIGHT have some effect on her daughters.
Buzzkill!
Oh, wait. When asked about the unsettlingly frank conversations she often has with her kids, Danielle admits to “sometimes” regretting “what I discuss with them”, but tosses in a barb at Jacqui about HER conversations with Ashley, which actually suck for completely different reasons. Anoushka now turns the spotlight on Teresa and I’m hopeful but, since that dog-clothing gambit went nowhere, a little skeptical. First, a softball question from “Pam From Maine“: Do Italians really believe women on the rag need to stay away from the spaghetti sauce vats? Don’t be so smug, “Pam”. I dated a guy from Maine back in the day and up until the mid-70′s people in his hometown (Fort Kent) believed that if a pregnant white woman got scared by a black man, that’s what color the baby would come out. I love that long ago some chocoholic slut went down to Connecticut, cheated on her husband, came home, gave birth to a bouncing biracial bambino, improvised this theory and had everyone in Aroostook County buying it. Teresa nods very sincerely, “that’s what they say in Italy… and also, Joe makes wine, same thing.” Mmmm-hmmm. That’s what he tells you so evry 28 days he can take a few cocks in the privacy of his “winery”. Idiot.
Do you care what Teresa’s favorite recipe is? Didn’t think so. “Josh From Houston” asks if due to their “financial trouble” she “felt guilty” for accepting the “bad-ass diamond ring” Joe thoughtfully plopped into her dessert on her birthday. Let’s it get it right, Texas Gays, it was her anniversary. And it wasn’t no dyemun, it was a “yellow sapphire cocktail ring”. As opposed to Asian male escort Yellow Sapphire’s cock-ring, which he often loans Juicy so fleeting thoughts of Teresa don’t soften up their good time. Caroline, who needs to go volunteer someplace if she’s memorizing Teresa’s gaudy gifts, points out that the big rock was indeed a sapphire and not a diamond. “Hello, dat’d be like half a million dolluhs!” Teresa scoffs, as if she’s not currently in debt for 22 times that amount.
But it creates an easy segue into the major Jew-Dice brokeness discussion. Which is preceded by a DELICIOUS clip package of Teresa’s out-of-control spending, starting with the Goils running rampant through some overpriced tot boutique and going on to include such sickening faves as Gia Zadora’s pink-limo Ecchy 8 birthday party, the obscene “housewarming” and christening bashes (BTW, is it me or does Villa Foreclosa look like a tackied-up double-wide??) and Joe’s DWI, clearly linking the vagina-hating vintner’s alcoholism to his wife’s shopping addiction. Nice nice work, editors.
“Kathy From Chicago” wants to know once and for all if Villa Foreclosa is really in foreclosure. “No, it’s not,” T insists. “Are you fearful that will happen?” asks Agnetha. Teresa says she has her husband and her “four beautiful daughters” and that’s all she needs. Wait, so you have two kids we’ve never seen tucked away in that cavernous joke of a house? April cites The New York Post, rattling off fun facts and figures: The Jew-Dices filed an $11 million bankruptcy last year, including $100,000 in credit card debt (which seems low), $20K to “Bloomingdale’s, Neiman-Marcus and Nordstrom“, $2.6 million in mortgages, $5.8 million for Joe’s all-male porn bills failed businesses, $12K in “fertility treatments” (eeeuw)… Teresa half-heartedly interrupts, denying that she owes department stores $100K. Well, that’s not what Alphina just said– clean the Aqua Net out of your ears.
Ashanti tries to sort fact from fiction: the Jew-Dices DID file for bankruptcy, but Teresa says “a lotta whatchoo jus’ said is inkarect.” Anjanette asks if Joe “clued you in” to how broke they were getting. No. Jacqueline tries to help, indicating that all husbands tell their wives to spend less money. Yes, in 1950′s stand-up routines. Teresa hilariously claims that she DID try to economize, and that she was making her own money. HOW?! Do you have your parents chained in the basement doing telemarketing? (“Dissa Giacinto, how you like-a to save-a big big money on you longa diztanza?”) Annabeth tries to get Teresa to admit she has “regrets” about Joe stressing out over all this. “No! I commend him fuh dat,” she says. He was trying to “protect his family”, you see. And she certainly isn’t “mad at him”.
Teresa says she’s “adjusted my lifestyle” and stopped “buying Gia everything she wants” (Ava’s words). Luckily, the Goils don’t “get their love from materialistic things”, they get it from “me’n Joe”. She’s constantly telling the little trolls how much she loves them (cut to Caroline beaming like a klieg light). Of course, Feral and TPO are probably whining too loud to hear any of it. And BTW, talk is cheap– whichever sage Gasmi Commented that we’ve never seen Teresa in an emotional, caring moment with ANY of these kids in 2 years was so right-on. Even little Tawdriana is nothing but a tiny dress dummy for her monstrous mama. More support from Jacqueline– “the second” Teresa found out the Jew-Dices were ruined, “she’s been workin her butt off” with “appearances every night”. So selfless. WHAT ARE THESE PEOPLE’S CHILDREN GOING TO THINK WHEN THEY GROW UP AND WATCH THESE FUCKING EPISODES?!?!
Ardena brings up the fact that everything in Teresa’s home was recently photographed and put online in preparation for The Big Liquidation Auction. What was that like? “I haven’t seen it,” Teresa quickly replies, obviously still in Shopaholic Denial. “I don’t read the negative things that people put out there regarding us.” Huh? Who– those negative, libelous auctioneers? Danielle gloats a little as Teresa denies being in denial. You might lose your dream house, Anissa baits. Teresa sets him straight (so to speak): she and Joe didn’t grow up wit no silver salami in their mouths, they’re self-made ex-millionaires and they will be again. I hate to think that she’s just enough of a horrorshow to remain constantly and lucratively employed in the cesspits of reality TV. But she is. Por Dios.
“Joe From Annapolis” asks if Joe’s accident was a result of “stress over money troubles”. Teresa makes a face– utter pish-posh! And how ’bout that whole accident dealie? What’s the scoop? She and Juicy were out to dinner and “he was NOT drunk”. Jacqueline fervently backs this up, making me wonder exactly what she has to lose in all this. In case you missed the ultra-wacky, uber-suspicious official explanation, Joe became sleepy while driving home alone from a restaurant, plowed into several trees, emerged unscathed from the wreckage, found himself across the street from a family friend’s house, went in, started slamming back whiskey (Teresa: “He was all shooken up!”), got drunk, met the cops and got busted. Right. Marc Cherry could come up with a better scenario.
Teresa seems to attach some significance to the fact that they “got the ticket in the mail [accompanying RuPaul hand gesture] a week later.” Um, that’s what happens when you get a ticket. They send you a copy in the mail. I think Joe got a ticket on the spot , then panicked and hid it from her. But, Arletty clarifies, the incident WAS definitely labeled a DUI. Go figya! Adia turns to Danielle, who’s been making “bitch please” faces throughout, and asks about her “skepticism” regarding the matter. Danielle coolly expresses her gratitude “that no one was hurt”, but finds it very hard to believe “you go get wasted after you have a car accident.” Teresa reacts as follows:
Caroline says it’s not hard to believe. Teresa amusingly repeats the phrase “shooken up”.
Alisha asks Danielle if she considers herself “a troublemaker”. She very reasonably agrees that yeah, she has her moments. Cue a “Victim VS Villain” Dani clip package replete with campy highlights suitable for playback in any of Joe’s favorite bars. Blessing from old black priest , “devout Catholic“, sex tape, masturbation tape, stripper-pole lessons, “not a whore”, “not garbage”, pocket-felon, Kim G, love and light. Adella asks Danielle to explain her “friendship” with tiny parolee Danny. “Weren’t you friends with his wife first?” Jacqueline rudely interjects. “During the first 2 weeks of taping, he filed for divorce,” Danielle says. Teresa: I wunda why! Was there anything sexual between Dani and Danny? “Never has, never will,” Daffi scoffs. “There was,” Jacqueline corrects, in the passive-aggro sweet voice she’s been using all night.
Jacqueline & Teresa “heard” Danielle and Danny fucked and that’s why his marriage ended. “I don’t care what you heard… that’s disgusting!” Danielle snips back. That’s a little harsh. I mean I wouldn’t fuck him, but come on. How many friends do you have left, Staub? “Juanita From Florida” (who might be my cousin) asks how Danielle can afford to hire bodyguards and throw a Sweet 16 party but can’t do any home repairs? “Pay attention,” Danielle groans. She did NOT pay for the Sweet 16. Everything was donated because it was a charity event. Danielle only paid for security and “busing” to eliminate DUI’s. Take that, Jew-Dices. Anitra asks what Dani meant when she described herself as “a born-again virgin”. That she was “refraining from sex… past tense.” So Cafe PW is open for business. Cue repulsed reactions from the other three.
Danielle says she was abstinent “so I could work on myself.” Which brings us to her new single with “lesbian superstar Lori Michaels“. Excuse me, WHO?! The Ellens (DeGeneres & Page) are lesbian superstars. (Neither of which I can stand.) Lori What’s-her-muff? Not so much. But I guess it’s supposed to be a big bombshell that Danielle’s dyking it up with Ms Michaels. She’s irritatingly coy about it, especially as far as Caroline seems to be concerned, but basically admits it to Adria, who accuses non-confirming Dani of “flaunting your sexuality in the media”. More coyness: Danielle claims to have become “a character. We’ve all been edited into these characters,” she muses as Caroline looks like she just ate a bad clam. (No pun intended. Really.)
Caroline gladdens Arabella’s heart by declaring that editing can only be blamed “for 1% of what goes on”. What ya see is what ya get wit Caroline, capeesh? Almanta (it’s a real name– the actress who sublet our teen model pad in Rome was named Almanta Keller, I swear) weakly tries to start some Carmelo-Daffi fireworks by referencing Danielle’s blog criticizing Caroline for criticizing strippers. This is extra-lame since we already heard Caroline say she’s got nothing against the Nomi Malones of this world. But Annamaria quotes Dani calling Caroline a “jealous” “bully” in need of a “make-over”. Nobody would have “looked at” Caroline “on a stage or off”. Caroline responds with a rousing speech about “a man that loves me 26 years” (God Bless, Danielle hollas). Caroline says she has been rock-steady throughout the show, but Danielle is “Mr Toad’s Wild Ride“. Caroline is a good and strong person with a happy house and plenty of integrity. And Danielle’s opinion of her “means less than nothing”. Danielle has no response to this and haughtily turns back to Altoona…
Who then mentions the “two sex tapes”. One features Jew-Dice pal Steve and according to Danielle, was lensed without her permission. “Not true,” Teresa protests. Aretha notes that Steve is now suing Danielle for defamation of character. I’m not making this shit up. Artemis correctly guesses that Dani’s legal bills must be huge, then mentions the OTHER sex tape which is currently available for purchase (from Hustler, god help those Staubettes) and which Danielle says she did not release and is not getting paid for, despite her starring role. Jacqueline & Teresa salivate over her shame as we learn that Danielle “knew of its existence” but couldn’t afford the extortion fee to prevent it from being released.
Acencion gossips that this was a semi-professional amateur porn and was shot by “a third party”. Danielle denies it, but Jacqueline, who will only admit to seeing “a preview” of the smutty sensation, says that it seems to have been strategically shot by someone else who was careful to avoid showing faces or mentioning names. But this could of course just be Jacqueline being a mega-cunt. A minor skirmish breaks out about exactly when this scandalous sin-fest was shot: Danielle says “years ago”, Caroline says “in August”, which Dani allegedly admitted in “an interview”. Teresa, always last to comprehend anything, tries her hand at detective work by attempting to establish the length of Danielle’s extensions in the XXX-rated epic in question. You go, Columb-ho. Maybe Bravo can get a court order for the clip-in hairpieces and carbon-date the DNA deposits.
For the record, Agrippina also heard Dani was taped sexing last fall, and so did Teresa. What kind of example is Dani setting for her kids? Teresa spits. “Are you kidding me?” Danielle yells. “No, I’m not kidding you!” Teresa screams back. Why does Teresa think she knows anything about Danielle’s private life, Dani dubiously demands. “You tawk about me constantly– it’s all you tawk about!” Danielle squawks. “BITCH, I don’t tawk about you!” Teresa ridiculously shrieks. D: Ya doin it right now! T: Yeah, cuz we’re awna friggin TV show, skanky whore! I neva tawk about you… unless it’s awn CAM-ra!
How DID Dani tell her daughters she was the new MILF in town? Asia asks. I was expecting a better line of bullshit than this: Um, I try just to not let them hear anything that’s going on. They don’t even watch the show. Audrina thinks they must have heard about it at school– it’s all over the internet! Not really, Danielle says. She did explain to them that “Mommy should have been more careful and more private and less horny and less sleazy.” Danielle has shielded them from her notoriety to the best of her ability and still thinks “I’m a really good mom cuz my kids are amazing.” I love that she thinks that’s how it works. They’re as undamaged as they are (and the jury’s still way, way out on that) IN SPITE of you, sweets. Christ Almighty, is this woman cracked.
Danielle then gets tripped up in her own horseshit when she says that Jillian and Christine “were very offended” by Caroline’s “no light in their eyes” comment. A-hah! Caroline snaps. How would they know about it if they don’t watch the show? “You just said they were in a bubble and they don’t know what’s goin on around them!” Avril agrees! Danielle says “what’s really ironic is that their friends love me, and so do their friends’ parents.” Sometimes literally, if those tapes are any indication. Caroline sarcastically applauds along with all of us. Danielle is EXACTLY as diagnosed by you, Gasmii– a paranoid narcissistic sociopath! Happy Mother’s Day. Danielle backpedals, admitting that the girls ARE exposed to the filth (and I use the term with love and light) generated by her and her participation in this vile, wonderful show.
“Jeff From Maine“, (you know, the one whose wife “Pam” got scared by the black man and had a cafe au lait baby) asks why Danielle accuses Caroline of being mobbed up when Dani’s the one who “hangs out with gangsters on the show and has a clothing line called Danielle’s Mafia.” Danielle explains that in this case, “Mafia” means “team”. Like Tony Soprano was a “sanitation consultant”. Caroline has had it and asks for Danielle’s “friggin autograph” because Dani’s the perfect friend, mother and woman and “you’re my idol”. Even Teresa gets the joke this time and grins like Wendy the Retard with a new karaoke machine.
Our last clip package of the evening illustrates the “dramatic turn” taken by the show when Danielle attended a charity event for a gravely ill tot at the Manzo-owned Brownstone. We all know what happened so let’s skip ahead to Anarosa telling Dani that the tot’s father was very upset with Danielle’s behavior that night, especially because Dani still hasn’t donated any money. Danielle immediately snaps that she collected thousands of dollars “door-to-door” “in commitments”. If commitments were cash, honey, I’d be the richest bitch in East Hollywood. Caroline says Danielle’s lying and that she came to Caroline’s place of business to cause trouble. “You wanna go, we’re gonna go!” Caroline barks, finally gaining the upper hand for the first time this season. “Anything else, Aviva?” Danielle asks snottily, tossing her extensions toward Caroline.
Caroline says Danielle has repeatedly threatened her and “brought danger to my son” Christopher, who was called a fag by “that Sweathog reject” Danny. LOL. Caroline demands an answer for Danielle’s comment at The Brownstone about pleasantly shaking Chris’s hand then calling it “my fuck you” gesture to the cuddly carwash enthusiast. “It was sykalogical,” Dani replies. “Do NOT sit here and tryta make a fool outta me!” Caroline roars. “I am looking at the fool!” D: That’s enough, Caroline.
But of course it isnt…
There’s still next week’s Reunion Part 2 in which, if the preview is to be believed, Danielle insinuates that she and Jacqueline bumped fuzzies. To quote George Takei on The Howard Stern Show: “Oh, myyyyyyyy!”
TV Social
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254 Comments
Comment #1 I HATE TERESA EVEN MORE AFTER SEEING THIS REUNION!
Had to stop reading and comment. Loving Miss Andy’s nicknames LL!!!!!
Lol…only 3 pages into this and completely loving the female ‘A’ names you’ve come up with for Miss Andy.
My cousin e-mailed me right after the reunion wanting to know why Jacqui was styled by Jessica Rabbit. Lol.
@mere-you are so true on that statement! But I think that Jessica Rabbit would have been smart enough to hide her spanx! Or at leaste not wear black ones!
If there was one thing that I would have thought Danielle could have been honest about, it would be her relationship with Lesbian Superstar Lori Micheals or whatever the fuck her name is. Come on, we get it, you don’t like the penis anymore, or maybe you like em both. I don’t care, just be honest about something please!
I wonder if she and Tree when to the same plastic surgeon, looks like we got another square tit in our midst!
Now I am going to go run and hide! I hope that I did not offend anyone. If I did, I am sorry, that was not my intention, I don’t think it came out right from how it sounded in my head, if that makes scence? (sp?) yeah, I think I need to go back to school! ha ha
Great recap for these crazies Leia!! Just a few of my faves: Anjanette, Anoushka, Ashanti, Anitra, Altoona or Agrippina, ROFLMAO. Damn girl you are good.
Now about the reunion, can’t stand Danielle. Think she is a total drama queen. The scene with her entourage, give me a break. But that is her, nothing new there. But something that also irked me was these women claim to not talk about or care about Danielle outside this show, and yet ALL THREE knew quite a few details about her sex tape. Quality, time frames, hair styles?! Just sayin. Anyway, can’t wait until next week. Oh yah, the pic of Kim Z thrown in there, lol. Again, great recap LL!
Ellen Page is a lesbian?
ps-Tree, hate the bangs just about as much as I hate you!
@kd-Jaq was the only one that said she actually watched it! Gross! Guess she is trying out some new things with Chris? I asked this earlier on another board, but Is this what people do when they know their 15 minutes are just about up, they release sex tapes? I mean come on, we didn’t like looking at you/watching you while you were on the show, what makes you think I wanna spend the money to watch it on my i-phone? Next thing you know we are going to see that Jill Z and Tree stating that they have a sex tape out too, and they sold it to Vivid…Ok maybe not so much Jill, cause it seems like her and Bawby have shit loads of money…Gross!
Okay finished reading…great recap. I re-read this line a dozen times and laughed each time…
‘Teresa says she has her husband and her “four beautiful daughters” and that’s all she needs. Wait, so you have two kids we’ve never seen tucked away in that cavernous joke of a house?’
And yes, I HATE TERESA
@chemgal I am left wondering the same. Time to google that one!
I haven’t read the recap yet but,I thought I’d share this with you.
http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2010/09/01/2010-09-01_real_housewives_star_teresa_giudice_is_humiliated_about_bankruptcy_i_learned_fro.html
Too many great lines to pick one to repeat!
While my heart breaks for the staubettes, I like you wonder how great they are. They seem to be on camera, but then again, all we really get to see is their faces reacting to their mother. I know some people come out of terrible homes and they are fine. But these girls have neither nature or nurture in their corner.
@Alison, I went back and looked at the screen grabs of Teresa and something was up with her one breast. Perhaps her spanx pushed so much fat up and over the top the only place it could squeeze to was under that particular breast?
I never realized how much Jacqueline looks like a drag queen. And I agree, Caroline is a woman who wears her fat well. She looked better heavy. As Zsa Zsa says, you can keep your face or you body, but usually not both.
okay I lied, mere found the best line.
Christine and Jillian have their guard up all of the time which is why they look like they have no “light”.
Their mother is some piece of work.
@chemgal-you made me giggle! First off, why would Tree need spanx anyways? Her last rugrat is what about a year now? Even though I hate the bitch, I don’t think she looked all that “heavy” after she popped that kid out. Jaq on the other hand, she needs to stop buying clothes off the manaquine and buy for her own size! I know that since she has such big boobies it is hard to fit your body…I know, I was once there, but mine are natural…I do agree with you about Caroline, She does wear her weight well, although, that dress, barf! She could have chose something alittle different…perhaps sleeveless and not so blue
” All I can say is: your poor fucking book editor.” LOL.
I think this whole thing is stupidity. I think Danielle is stupid but they need to let her talk and explain herself without Theresa and Jacqui interrupting every five seconds. Theresa’s grunting was hysterical because I finally could understand her when she talked!
Great job with the recap and all the “A” names. Very creative Leia. You have done a very admirable job as temporary replacement for Twunty. I look forward to next week and your insights.
@robin-thanks for that link. I don’t buy one word of it! Their lawyer told them to file? What? And now Joe is incharge of all the finances? Uh, I do remember Tree saying that it was a good thing he was never there when she planned a party…but wouldn’t you notice if your spouse spent 100,000 on a party for your child? She still claims that their crap isn’t up for auction…yeah we will see about that come October..ok I think I have remembered all that I wanted to say…
I just have to say again, (’cause I’m like dat), the extra five second time lapse it took Danielle’s “nephew” quote to settle in Teresa’s head, along with Jacquelines fearful “Yes, Yes” was the greatest thing ever.
I think Teresa has cut a Kardashian style deal with Life&Style magazine. The photoshop they do on her makes her look an entire different type of frightening.
Damn it, I still haven’t gotten to watch this yet. And I’ve had to work at work today. Boyfriend has a gig tonight, so I’m watching as soon as I get home. I’m reading the recap now, as I can stay away no longer! Damn you people for making me watch this crap! LOL
And does anyone know if Teresa is screaming “don’t BRING up my family” or “don’t BREAK up my family”?
@chemgal In her blog she says she was screaming ‘bring up’ not ‘break up’.
LOL! I loved the girls names beginning with A for Miss Andy – I hope his back is alright after having Teresa knock him over. What a televised clusterfuck. Carolyn with her head cock on overdrive (with her new plumage, I wanted to give her a cracker), Jacqueline acting like “mean girl number 3″ on Beverly Hills 20910 (here’s your SAG card, bitch), Teresa looking like she needs a fucking Rosetta Stone course to follow what is being said, and Danielle, skirt up to her “see you next tuesday” pretending as if she is a lady who lunches. Po’ Mizz Andy – you know that he is jonesing for Pink Lady or two through this show.
mere2142: That settles then: She said “break up”.
I know it’s stating the obvious, but really Teresa? You can call Danielle everything but a White Italian woman from New Jersey, but she can’t touch on Da Family? The gaul is never ending.
I have to wonder what Joe thinks watching these interviews, every time he hears Teresa ever-so-charitably “forgive” him for his financial transgressions against her.
Fuck, fuck, fuck – me too marijai. I am missing all my shows in real time!!!!! Go-damn work! And dishes, and gardening. DAMMIT. DAMMIT. I hope you guys post a lot so I know what to look for when I watch it!!!
Wonderful recap!
I give Caroline all sorts of props for saying what all reality tv fans have been thinking since the very first Survivor ‘there is no editing, what you see is what you get’.
Danielle I just cannot stand. Especially when she turns on the tears and claims she is frightened of Teresa. If that were true, she would have never brought up ‘the nephew’. All I can think of is how much I pity her daughters.
Now what is this about an affair between Jacqueline and Danielle? God what a disturbing visual. I can’t wait for the second part.
“that I might wear in Puerto Rico…..if I wanted to get raped.”
I can’t stop laughing….
Love this line: “And what better spiritual role model for a young girl than a gold-digging lynx-eyed ex-manicurist who flounces around town in designer nighties.” Brilliant writing.
To Alison Z: Jill Zarin has already hinted at possibly having a sex tape. Totally gross!
Apollonia tries to wrangle Teresa by telling her to “come here” like she’s his cockapoo rescue
Just spit coke on the monitor at that one! @Cheez..it’s taken me 2 hours to read 4 pages of this recap because people keep coming in my office! GRRRRR!!!!!!
Our beloved Twunty posted a link to the huffington post and put a shout out to gasmii on her blog today. Also, some great photos from her modeling days!
I was reading Bsideblog (his captions of this shit are awesome) and he made the very valid and hilarious point about Carolines not only refusing to apologize for the “dead eyes” comment in reference to Christine and Jillian, but doubling down with a dash of sanctimony thrown in – that point being you kind of lost the moral high ground once you went to bat for Ashley, she with the deadest eyes and emptiest head of them all.
He also links to Jezebel.com- Basically, (according to them) Joe’s had a ” gummah” for years. Yet another “open secret”. It does explain the NEVER ENDING attempts to inform us all as to the state of their sex life and their union in general.
Why did Bravo think it was ok to air any of this show? There was absolutely nothing entertaining about this show and to think there is a second installment makes me want to vomit.
I do not really care for Danielle and I think she brings most of the things that happen upon herself, but I think Theresa and Jaqueline could have composed themselves. All Theresa and Jaqueline did was attack and make snarky comments (when Theresa wasn’t going ape shit). I am at a loss for words to describe what I saw, it actually made me angry. I felt very bad for Danielle since there was not one single person on the stage that was on her side or her friend. I really think if you are going to allow numerous people to abuse one person, at least have a support person sitting next to them. Again – Danielle brings on her problems, but this was ridiculous.
Last season I liked Jaqueline but either her true colors came out this season or she has been hanging around Theresa too much.
Caroline looked like the walking dead. Whatever she is doing she needs to stop!
Oh – how do you file for bankruptcy (11million dollars) and get to keep your 4million dollar house and a beach house????? If this is actually true, something is seriously wrong in our world!
Did anyone see Radar online? Theresa’s sister in law is supposed to be on next season and little Teresa is upset – poor thing.
http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2010/09/exclusive-nj-housewife-teresa-giudice-%E2%80%98doesn%E2%80%99t-want-be-show%E2%80%99-with-sister-law
Yeah, you totally had me at Agrippina.
God, I wish Bravo could go back in time and do the The Real Housewives of Ancient Rome. You think Danielle is a sociopath? She’s got nothing on the Julias, Livias, and Messalinas of old school Rome.
Hi,
Stll haven’t read the recap.But I saw this in my local paper while cooking supper.I was surprised to see it in a paper in Fla.Anyhoo,it brings attention to the buisines’ that enjoy the publicity from the show.
TC,Robin
OH Crap! lol I rekon I should post the link huh?
http://www.northjersey.com/news/101740563_Real_housewives__better_publicity.html
LMMFAO!!!!! I’m dying.
“Antonia, who has never come this close to being inside a woman before, holds Teresa back as Jacqueline is caught smirking on the couch. Caroline decides to step in and, hilariously, puts Teresa’s mouth between her fingers in a vain effort to shut her vituperative trap. Teresa’s response to this? “BWAAAAAARRHHHH!”
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!! Back to reading, LMAO.
@iwannabe-Gross, Gross, fucking Gross! That bitch has enough money, why does she have a sex tape? Is this before Bawby or with Bawby. She also has a guest blog on Bravo for the DC ladies…I only made it throught the first 2 paragraphs before I had to stop reading it..
@chemgal-twunty has her own blog?? I would love to read it!
I LOVE TERESA EVEN MORE AFTER SEEING THIS REUNION
Okay….finally getting to watch this and I’m now officially on the bandwagon….I HATE TERESA!!!!
Ok here’s what I read…Teresa’s brother (the husband of the sister-in-law who’s going to be on the show) cheated on his wife and had a lil love child. That’s why Danielle said what she said about Teresa and her nephew
I have sooo, soooo, much to say. Of course.
But a quick post – LOVED, LOVED, LOVED this recap Leia!!!!!!
And I hate Teresa more than ever, and Jacqueline too – she’s a fuckweasel.
@Megan, no, no, no how could you? Do you really love her?
@Robinez good find on the article. So Assley’s causing a bunch of trouble, not working, not living at home, not attending any college classes or training but she found time to get a nose job? Perhaps it was free but I’m thinking probably just reduced rate and mommy and daddy chris picked up the tab. Left me wondering what other services the doctor provided free?
I sound like a cliche, but long time reader, very minimal poster lol.
I had to say something though. I’m from Montville Township, it’s where I grew up. Teresa lives in Towaco which is part of Montville, and now today, I find out her sis-in-law will probably be on the show and is in Montville as well. I speak for all my friends that grew up there too (class of ’98) when I ask Bravo to MAKE IT STOP! It’s a small tiny town, middle-upper class, with some stupidly rich. I still live close to there, some of my friends bought homes there, and I dread the day I run into these freaks.
Never in a million years did I think the towns I grew up in/around would be in blogs, on tv, in rags, ect…..
Oh and Livingston is about 20 minutes from Montville. Very nice area lol.
I went to school with girls like Teresa, so I guess that’s why her crazy doesn’t get to me as much. I hate Danielle much much more.
Finally got to watch this, and I want to say first and foremost, FANTASTIC RECAP Leia!!! You were spot on and I can’t wait to read your recap next week!
Could Dani have looked more like a whorah in that too tight Old Navy tank top and ho bag skirt? UGHH!! What is it with Tree and the hair bows? I hate those damn things. It’s one of my top 3 baby pet peeves. If you can’t tell it’s a girl, put her pink. There, was that so hard? At least that way you won’t disable the neck muscles before she ever gets a chance to use them.
Miss Andy’s “don’t cross me”…I translated to “I’m ready to cut a bitch!” LOL
Loved, loved, loved it when Caroline says “I’m not a monkey”, and the camera went straight to Teresa. I thought “the camera person must read the Gasm!” LOL
As far as Dani and her dignity, honey, I hate to break it to you, but dignity left your ass a long time ago, if you ever had any at all.
Again, great recap! Love reading the boards and everyone’s opinion. @Chemgal…where is Twunty’s blog??
@chemgal,
Too bad the Doc didn’t give Assley a free lobotomy.
TC,Robin
@pixi – there’s more than enough hate to go around. I despise Danielle as well but I think its the fact that her crazy is so apparent so people can steer clear. Teresa pisses me off because she’s like a cat; no matter what she does that bitch seems to land on her feet.
@Robin – are you sure that wasn’t thrown in?
@marijai and alison
twuntymcslore.blogspot.com/
Leia,
You did a wonderful job on this recap and didn’t miss a thing! Thank You.
Do you think that maybe Caroline told Teresa about her shaving regiment and Teresa started doing it to herself and her children because,after all,it sounded reasonable to Teresa like all stupid ideas do, and now they cant stop because if they do they hair will grow down past their cheekbones? If you will notice the new spawn has a relatively hair free forehead….hmm the shit I waste my time thinking about
Tc,Robin
@PCheeze sure what was thrown in? I am confusacated lol
TC,Robin
Robin, I meant are you sure the lobotomy wasn’t thrown in.
@chemgal,
LOLOL Nope she didn’t get a lobotomy yet.It is apparent everytime she opens her mouth!
TC,Robin
@chemgal Sorry for calling you PCheeze…Oh the Horror!
@marijai-I agree with putting baby girls in pinks or purples if you can’t really tell if they are a boy or girl yet. Don’t like the bows in the hair, or peirceing your baby’s ears at that age. I don’t think it is cute-but thats just me. I have noticed that TPO and Twadarian both have “normal” hairlines. Think that comes from Joes side of the family, cause his hairline looks like it is going the wrong way.
@robin-you are crackin me up!! Carmelo says that she shaves her face with lotion?? WTF? Is it alittle peachfuzz, or do you think she has a stash that is dark like Tree’s hair?
@chemgal-if Assley did get a discounted lobotomy sure as hell didn’t help any! Free clothes, free surgerys, free food…if they are getting all this free stuff, how can they all be so freakin broke?? Well except for Tree and the lemurs, we know how that happened!
My captcha code was PCHZ! Just thought I would throw that out there tonight..
Danielle is crazy everyone knows that, but the rest of those women are utterly disgusting. Danielle may have played up being scared of Teresa but I believe there is some genuine fear there let’s think about it. Teresa flipped a table over like it was a playing card, bulldozed through a country club like a rabid pitbull, threw the Queen Andy aside as easily as she throws away all comprehension and proper use of the English language AND devours gaudy and tasteless clothes and furniture the way hyenas pick apart carcasses. She is a beast in every way. Jackie is another idiot with no hobby besides Danielle bashing. If she put that same energy into teaching Assley respect and responsibility she could have been a partially decent human being. And Caroline can’t say don’t talk about her sister because she’s not there to defend herself but she has license to discuss everyone Danielle associates with. That is faulty logic because the majority of the cast consists of people who will not appear on the reunion. By that same logic we should not discuss and kids, spouses or friends because none of them are there. I think Jersey should be scrapped altogether. All these ”woman” are despicable. And to steal from Krazy Kelly this is systematic bullying at its finest. And I am so disappointed in Andy he needs to let someone else handle the reunion shows. You can’t handle Kelly with kid gloves and admonish the NY ladies for interrupting her but let the NJ ones interrupt, yell over, threaten and generally harass Danielle throughout the show. It puts me in a position where I have to side with her and that makes me feel all dirty. I do hope Kim G buys Teresa’s crap though. At least then she will have suffered some for her irresponsibility.
@Robin “@chemgal Sorry for calling you PCheeze…Oh the Horror!” – LMAO!!!! It’s The Godmother now, I told you – It grew on me, I’m keeping that one!! LOL. Where the hell have you been? I was about to send out a posse!
I have to say it one more time, GREAT recap Leia, I’m still laughing!
I seriously can’t believe some of the shit that went down with this coven of bitches. I’m sure I’ll rehash some of my pap from Newsgasm, so PLEASE, GOD FORGIVE ME – next time I’m on my knees (which according to the schedule will be tomorrow night around 11:30), I’ll throw in a quick Hail Mary.
I’m right with you @Missy2sweet – these women are just so far beyond reasonable behavior it boggles the mind. And this transparent “all for one, one for all” bullshit they’ve got in place where Teresa is concerned just further undermines any credibility or sympathy they might be entitled to.
Danielle is obviously just sick, she’s not operating in reality; and even though I think she truly loves her daughters as much as she knows how, she’s a terrible mother. Weirdly, I don’t think a terrible mother is necessarily a terrible parent. As a woman who provides feminine guidance and perspective she provides an abysmal example. Obviously having the past she did she knew with reasonable certainty that she would be exposed on the show. A good MOTHER would never risk her daughters finding out she was a prostitute and drug addict under any circumstances, EVER. She chose the show because she’s Narcissistic and she thought the exposure would provide a means to her next meal ticket. As a parent, she provides high expectations and good structure for the kids. They’re polite, respectful, seem to do well in school and are goal-oriented. As Leia pointed out, they’re still young – the way Danielle’s mothering plays out against their growing independence is going to be the real test. I really hope they come out ahead, they’re good kids and exceptionally beautiful girls; but being exceptionally beautiful and exceptionally damaged can play out in epic and tragic ways.
I have come to the point with Caroline where I just don’t like her. She’s a hypocrite and she lacks self-awareness, which in a woman of her age is ludicrous. She seems to have no understanding that she is NOT in charge of the BIG HAM GAME outside of her home. Danielle does not have to comply with her wishes, answer her demands or grant her explanations. Period. That’s it. Grown women do not treat other grown women like unruly children and chastise them when they assert their own authority and choices. What the hell is wrong with her? If her family wants to play into this childish and ridiculous version of Mother Knows Best, that’s one thing – but at least have the intelligence and the respect for other people to understand she’s NOT OUR MAMA, and we don’t care what she thinks.
She’s smug and judgmental, and her book isn’t finished either. Albie Sr. didn’t come with a lifetime guarantee – she may find herself having to redefine who she is in a community that only values the haves, and she may not be one of them. And you can’t find a greater love for schadenfreude than in a small town.
What more can I say about Teresa? She’s a liar and a thief, she’s cruel and aggressive, she’s manipulative, self-centered, mean and stupid. She’s broke, broken and breaking-down. She’s violent and irresponsible, and never, ever admits to any wrong-doing. And she’ll always land at the top of the heap because she’s also ruthless. I hate her. I hope Andy Cohen registers HIS disgust and waning tolerance by not ceding to her demands for more money and just letting her go.
BTW – she laid hands on him, so anyone who questioned whether or not Danielle was in any actual danger at the country club; she was. The only thing Caroline said that I agreed with, was that she validated every one of Danielle’s claims through her own disgraceful behavior.
Jacqueline is an instigator. She’s a bored, silly woman who can find nothing better to do than stir up trouble. She has two very young children, and a dysfunctional teenager – and this is how she chooses to spend her time? Her husband could probably use a little help too – why isn’t she making his life better? She sits on her chunky, Spanx-clad ass all day, after positioning her Bumpit JUST right, and eats too much, drinks too much and runs her mouth too much. Danielle is the LEAST of her problems, and she better get a clue because as far as I can tell she’s pretty limited in options if she loses her ticket to the Laurita-Manzo Monster’s Ball. Chris doesn’t look much happier than Joe, and he seems to have a very low tolerance for bullshit.
I thought Danielle’s Hair Care Bear (LOL) was so cute, I just wanted to hand him a jar of honey and rub his belly. I gotta get me one of those!!
Love your rants, but not N/A wisecracks about Puerto Rico! WTF? Women get raped in the Good Ole U.S.A. every few seconds, Leia. Though to be honest, I don’t think Teresa Guidice would suffer that problem wherever she goes.
I love you Gasmi, and your obscene sense of humor, but I have to go to bat over this Danielle vs. Everyone Else thing.
We most certainly don’t see EVERYTHING that has happened at her hands throughout this process. They even mentioned at the beginning that they hadn’t been filmed together for a year. I think Danielle has done much, much more than we’ve ever seen and that’s why the other ladies are sick and tired of her and finally just going balls-out off on her.
Although some of us are milder than others, I think if I had gotten to the point where I was just completely sick of someone and their antics, especially in relation to my family or children, I would have done something similar to what Teresa did – frustration to the point of violence. I do agree that their behavior isn’t exactly mature, I do think they are just completely fed up at having to deal with this psycho and anything that comes with her. She gets routinely caught lying, being obnoxious, threatening other people, pointing fingers and insinuating nonsense, and she only has what friends left who haven’t figured out how sociopathic and narcissistic she truly is. I truly think everyone has just had it and decided to let her know it. And I don’t blame them one bit.
@AlisonZ…yes! Exactly! I hate seeing babies with pierced ears as well. My other two major pet peeves are people who take infants and toddlers out to stores, restaurants, etc., barefooted! I mean, really, want normal grown adult would go to dinner barefooted? And besides, they can’t tell you when there little feet start to get cold. It’s just tacky. At least put a pair of socks on the kid. My other pet peeve is when a baby spits up and the caregiver is too lazy to properly clean the baby up and change it’s clothes if needed, then when you pick it up, instead of smelling that sweet, sweet, baby smell, all you can smell is soured milk. UGH! I have sworn if I ever have a child, I will never do those things.
This was the funniest thing I ever read, I think. I was literally hysterical in front of my computer multiple times. Hopefully I remembered to turn my Skype cam off beforehand, or there are going to be a lot of Swedish dudes thoroughly confused in the morning…
The female names that made me lose it, specifically, were, “Annette, Anita, Alberta and–my favorite–Amy.”
Also, Leia, thanks for calling Dina out on her shit and not giving her a pass, because you know someone has less-than clean hands when, as soon as their name is mentioned, people start screaming “silence(r)!” and “do not mention…”
Question: If you nominate Albie for president of your Vagina, who is his running mate–Chris? Nothing wrong with that–if you can’t keep it in the pants, keep it in the family. I think even Caroline would agree with me there.
Also, someone should Tweet Ellin Woods to avoid re-location to Maine…
And don’t knock it til you try it–Mr. Guidice Senior has set me up with some sweet Vonage rates, which includes an app that informs me of the climate surrounding Mt. Vesuvius every 45 minutes.
Of course the other posters covered my thoughts more thoroughly and humorously than I could have (Missy2Sweet and P.Cheez and LAC).
Just gotta add two things: maybe the reason Tree was so evasive about Juicy’s stay in jail was because she was hesitant to reveal that, oddly enough, Joe, when informed his bond had been posted, stubbonly refused to evacuate the jail, at least for a few days, as confirmed by Joe’s cell-mate, former body-builder cum life coach Enrique “The Moustache” Aseata.
Finally, @ Chemgal, rumor has it that while Ashley’s anesthesia for her rhinoplasty kicked in, her plastic surgeon spontaneously renewed his Hippocratic oath to “do no harm” and took the scalpel to her uterus instead.
LMFAO!!!! @Savannah!!!!!
Don’t sell yourself short, that is some seriously funny shit!!! Hahahaha!!!!
I think I have a different take on Danielle…Of couse I think she is a sociopath, delusional, etc. But I also think that she is a psychological bully. She talks smack on the interview portions of the show and throws out little jabs and then just stands back and waits for them to erupt.
And can you imagine if someone did something as horrid as try to have you siblings child taken away and then put a gag order on everyone so no one could discuss it. I know I would be ready to blow a gasket on this bitch.
I think Danielle also knows that Teresa would never actually hit her. Because if she did you know Danielle would have her arrested for assult. Which of course Danielle would love. Also, it would play into her “I’m a victim” bullshit. This has been annoying me, so I’m going to give examples:
1. Teresa flipped a table. Other people were sitting at the table as well so yes, she flipped a table because she was pissed. I don’t think she aimed the table at Danielle.
2. She “chased” Danielle through the country club. If Danielle hadn’t ran away then what would have happended? They could have stood there and bitched at each other until they were tired of it. And, I know that some will say “well Danielle was trying to walk away”. But only after she dropped the “your house is in foreclosure” grenade. And I don’t know about anyone else but if I’m in an argument and someone (normally with husband
) and they say something that pisses me off and tries to walk away I will follow him to make my point! No violence has to take place. If you really want to walk away from a situation then just walk away. Don’t run your mouth and not expect someone to justify their side too!
3. If Teresa really wanted to hit or harm her then at the reunion she would not have just been in Danielle’s face she would have started throwing punches! (not pillows!)
So my take is that Danielle probably knows alot about these women. Espically since she was friends with Teresa and Jacqi before this mess. And they (Teresa and Jacqi) are at their breaking point trying to keep the facqade going. They are afaid that Danielle is just going to keep airing their dirty laundry. (Oh, by the way I don’t like Teresa either, I’m just making a point.)
I think that it would be great if it was Teresa’s sister-in-law who replaced Danielle. I read on reality tea (I’ll post link at the bottom) that T and her SIL are not best buds and her SIL is involved with Dina’s Ladybug Foundation. Also that T’s brother and SIL are loaded. And throw Dina back into the mix and we’d all have to buckle up for a good ole fashioned catty bitchfest!!! Not a psychodrama!
And a piece of advice for all of the “housewives”. If your honest and air your own dirty laundry nobody will have anything to hold over your head. I’ll gladly tell anyone that ask the good and the bad about me. If you don’t like me that’s ok. Friends are about quality not quanity. But at least you’ll know the real person that you don’t like! Oh yea…the SIL link is:
http://www.realitytea.com/2010/09/02/report-teresa-giudices-sister-in-law-joins-real-housewives-of-nj-cast/
@Boricua Bitch,
I can assure you it is nothing personal.No place of residence or origin is exempt from snark
TC,Robin
@Realitycheck,
I always thought that Teresa wanted Dina to be her baby’s Godmother for more than spiritual reasons for sure.Now we learn that Teresa’s SIL is close to Dina and her Ladybug foundation and Teresa isn’t too fond of the SIL.
Part of me wants to believe the SIL and Teresa feud because it makes for good “drammaa”.The other part..me thinks they are just pumping us up for next season.Then the other part..yes there are many parts to me,thinks that there was way more to this than a nephew and not getting along with the mother when Teresa went apeshit.She was furious and nothing can convince me it was about a nephew that she didn’t acknowledge.That was a gut wrenching scream,usually reserved for something closer to home.
TC,Robin
“2. She “chased” Danielle through the country club. If Danielle hadn’t ran away then what would have happended?”
I must say,that is some funny shit.
TC,Robin
Theresa is dumb as a rock.
Jacqueline is one daffy bitch (the two Kims are as well).
Beverly (I refuse to call her Danielle) is a coward. If one throws out an inflammatory statement that one KNOWS will send someone over the edge that person needs to stand their ground and “bitch up” don’t go running to your “mafia”.
Caroline does at least try to get to the bottom of the trifling bullshit, “Did she introduce you to the specialist..yes or no..done. Next”
Teresa’s daughter Milania looks a little like the picture on the side of the Boar’s Head truck, although cuter, I have to give her that. But she has the beast inside her, and will outgrow the cuteness I’m afraid.
Now about Caroline, don’t think I can stand another season of her spewing her wisdom and “integrity” from her Mcmansion pulpit. If you look up the Brownstone you’ll see more negative reviews about the place than positive. Sounds like the Ozzie and Harriett jig is for the cameras. They pull shady tricks on people with pricing, etc — and these are authentic reviews that predate RHONJ. One bride commented “Cruel and Heartless” describing the owner. But only the naive or stupid do not see through Caroline, Albert and the not too bright MAnzo kids. By the way, speaking of Albie, is poor reading comprehension a learning disability? I thought that was just due to a low IQ.
Also, is poor reading comprehension a
@Realitycheck — Completely agree with you regarding Danielle. I also don’t think she is a victim in this – she is the instigator. I can only imagine the shit she has been pulling behind the scenes. And putting a gag order on Dina preventing Dina from talking about shit that Danielle did?! Bottom line, if I were mortally afraid of someone I would not press their buttons – pure and simple.
Two thoughts on the new housewife;
1) No wonder Teresa hates her – it’s a classic case of hairline envy. Melissa has a forehead that would make Tyra Banks jealous.
2) Teresas little brother looks just like her only slightly less masculine. By any chance did Darwin do his research in that Casasaltino or whatever Italian shit hole the Gorga troop swung out of? If not I think it’s safe to say we solved the evolution vs creationism debate.
@marijai-I so know what you mean with a baby and no socks! I only time I think that it is ok for a baby to be out and about in just a onsie and no socks is when it is 90 degrees or above. I don’t have any babies yet, But I do atleaste know how to care for them!
I am looking forward to the last 2 episodes of this show. I know we have Kim G on the next reunion episode, then we have the “lost footage”, or as I see it, the other boring shit that they didn’t want to show us! I actually am looking forward to see what Granny has to say and to see what kind of bullshit excuse Beverly can pull, or does she have a Gag order on Granny also??
Marjai/AlisonZ; Re: Pierced ears on babies: When I was still working in retail (It was a small Boutique-size store), we had a HUGE collection of baby earrings we had picked up off the floor and put in lost and found. Every time I hear some woman talk about how “safe” they are, I think of that massive stash we had.
I watched the first 10 minutes of this again last night and the fact that Caroline literally had to place her fingers into Teresas mouth, as she stood there, low growling like a pit bull that has been restrained. Danielle’s many things and none are good, but she’s right regarding Teresa- she’s a damn animal.
I hope Anatasia Beaverhousen does a better job keeping the Mean Girls quiet while The Prostitution Whore Speaks during Round 2.
“I hope Anatasia Beaverhousen does a better job keeping the Mean Girls quiet while The Prostitution Whore Speaks during Round 2.”
LMAO!!! @skatt!!!! I love that show, Jack and Karen were my secret dream friends, LOL.
Oh Sweet Lord, click on the sidebar link “Before They Were Famous” that Reality Check provided. Nose jobs all around and it seems our Jackie wasn’t always so demure.
Breaking News re: Yesterday, the US Trustee filed a lawsuit against the Giudices, to block their bankruptcy discharge.
Reported by Lynn in Chicago-
http://lynnnchicago101.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/giudice_ust_cplt_obj_to_discharge1.pdf
Caroline is an idiot, she treats everyone she doesn’t like as children. No one has to do anything they don’t want to, I’m surprised she didn’t flip Danielle over and spank her for not answering her questions.
Jacqueline bothered me also. Danielle couldn’t say one thing without Jac saying something bitchy and underhanded with that smirk on her face.
Teresa….bitch needs to be locked up. I was disgusted when Andy was laughing about her knocking him down like trash. If someone pushed me over in that agressive way, the last thing I would be doing was laughing.
Did anyone else feel like Andy was totally biased in his questions? I feel like everyone but Danielle got asked fairly easy questions, where as he kind of grilled her. Not fair.
I just love Danielle, Idk why lol. Don’t shoot me. :/
I agree with P Chz about savannah that was hilarious! The thing about these women is that although they allude to what Danielle may have done nobody ever offers any information to what she really did. The only thing they say is she tried to get Dina’s daughter taken away which she denied. we saw the Brownstone debacle but what else has she done to be so vilified by the other girls. In every other instance they have been the agressors. At Reality as far as Danielle taking digs in the interviews that is not onesided they all do that. The other girls however go beyond digs and call her slut, whore and as my mom would say everything but a child of God. And I don’t agree with the logic being scared of someone means you shouldn’t talk about them. In fact, Danielle probably felt that was the safest time to do so because who would rush someone so violently in a country club full of people besides the roid monster. Also her making a true statement because teresa’s house was in foreclosure does not justify her attack. People say things people don’t like all day every day but that doesn’t mean we chase them down knocking down everyone who stands in their way. She has a problem and the other women need to stop turning a blind eye to it because they hate Danielle so much that they excuse everything Teresa does because she is their friend.
Great update but disappointed in lack of “comments” on the captions. Let me get this straight. Teresa married a Guiseppe (aka Joe) and her brother is also a Guiseppe. Okkkkkk! She knew nothing of their financial woes and blames it all on Joe. Yeah right! She doesn’t sign their tax returns? Didn’t “notice” their combined income was, what, $65,000 and they just spent several million on a house in conjunction with all the other expensive crap they “bought”. Have you seen them kiss? They barely peck and she had to beg for that even. No wonder they exaggerate their sex life. She’s such a liar. On the show her ring was a diamond but now it’s a sapphire? Caroline and Jackie are taking up for her just way too much. “She makes us laugh…” Bullshi$! I wouldn’t put up with her being constantly late and spending money they know she doesn’t have. I wish someone would have knocked her flat on her big old butt when she got up. It would have been hilarious if it was Miss Thang.
@shantigal – Usually, I hate to see bad things happen to people, even people I don’t necessarily like so much. But seeing as how the Guidices are a government experiment gone terribly awry, I hope they lose their asses and wind up over the pizza parlor!
@Shanti…I read all 19 pages of the document and all I can say is “WOW!” There are 5 counts against them, and I would think after this they would be investigated for tax evasion. I can’t believe they would be so stupid to submit tax papers to the federal court that were never filed with the IRS. Hopefully, this is one thing the US government won’t fuck up, and nail both of their asses to the wall.
@shanti-my computer wont download that lovely tidbit of information you have there!!
@skatt-that was my favorite alias that Karen had on that show! If only I was that clever!!
I mean seriously why do mom’s give their month old babies earrings?? I don’t like it, and I think that it is kind of mean! Yeah yeah yeah, I have 2 sets in both ears, but I was like 8 when the first one happend cause I wanted them, and then I was about 19 when I chose to get the second set..now when MR Z asks what kind of joorey I want for a present I can tell him 2 sets of dyemunds to go in my ears..
@mr reality-totally agree with you about Tree and being locked up. I mean come on. Where they all not just saying how it is NOT ok to put your hands on people? What does she do, she tosses him like the Raggedy Andy doll that he is!
I also agree with whomever said that he askes totally different questions to all the ladies. Tree, is it true that you are a bazillion dollars in debt, no, its just the economical times that we are in, or whatever shit she said. Danielle is it true that you are with lesbian superstar Lori Micheals? D-she helped me with my song. A-so you aren’t seeing her? D-I see her everyday. A-so then you are together….Thats why I said it before..just get it out! Just say yes, yes I am bangin her everynight, just be honest about something already!!!
Ok, I will go back to my corner now…
Now that you mention it, Danielle’s gag order was a real surprise. Sleazy move for sure, and she is VERY litigious which I don’t like as a rule. I don’t see her as a victim, I think she’s a punk, BUT I see the constant harangue from the other three as harassment regardless.
Teresa and Jacqueline should put up or shut up, IMO. Lay your cards on the table, as much as I dislike Caroline she laid her cards on the table, and Danielle definitely got caught with her pants down a few times. She’s all surface and lies, so her reality never stands up – I think her source of information has been pretty accurate so far though, it’s what she does with it is that bothers me.
I agree too, it’s bullshit for them to excuse and rationalize everything Teresa does, or Ashley for that matter, then bash Danielle. I think I might have said it on another board, but the hardest thing for me with these women is the fact that I genuinely dislike ALL of them – they’re the kind of women who congregate at a party and make all of the other women feel uncomfortable. Every single one, especially Danielle, has major personality issues.
Can you imagine having dinner with these bitches? We’d all wait for an hour until Teresa showed up, Caroline would bitch at us about having our elbows on the table, and Jacqueline would eat all the bread and make passive-aggressive comments about what we ordered – then when Teresa finally dragged her hairy ass to the table, she’d go ape-shit and flip it over. LOL.
Those “before” pictures are a hoot. Jacqueline has had a LOT of work done, a LOT. I feel bad for guys that meet women they think are attractive, then marry them and have kids, only to find out there were some serious FUG genes lurking in the pre-surgical DNA. LOL.
BTW – Teresa looked EXACTLY like Gia when she was a kid. She is totally living vicariously through that poor kid.
Now I’m off to follow @shanti’s link – it looks JUICY!!
Oh yeah – I’m getting tired of Miss Andy’s softball questions and bias too!! Hit ‘em hard girlfriend, they don’t mind batting you around the studio like a well-groomed shuttlecock.
Leia, let me tell you sumpting…I adore your phonetic recapping of the Joisey vernacular and your screen grabs that capture the essence of trashiness that is RHONJ. Well done and looking forward to part two.
eeeekk! I’m a no sock mommy! My kids hate socks and hate shoes. The second they walk in the door, they’re off. They can walk across rocks and I’m betting hot coals as well as the bottoms of their feet are hard. But seriously, next time you see a baby take a look at their feet and ankles. Keeping socks of those things takes an act of God combined with an act of Congress! I do agree with not changing spit up from clothes. My kids lived with bibs on. The only time they came off was when they were sleeping. This way when they spit up, I just changed the bib and not the entire outfit. And I admit, I pierced my daughters ears at 3 months. I had a Teresa moment and was set on raising a girly girl, as it has always seemed to me that life is so much easier for those type of woman. Woman like that send out some type of vibe or subliminal messages that makes both men and other woman willing to jump through hoops to help them do anything and everything. Anyway, my plan did not come to fruition as I have a semi-certified tom boy on my hands.
Great comments from everyone. Savannah, thanks for the guffaw. The links are terrific too!
Where is njgasmi fan???? We haven’t heard from her in a while.
Hey kids – sorry to have been absent. Thanks for thinking of me, Chemgal! It’s just busy at work and limited time – these NJ shows are so draining! By the time I get around to reading the recap and comments, you funny bitches have already said all that I want to say!!!
All I have to add is that Jackie deserves every bit of heartache that Trashley gives her – because Jacks is one snotty, obnoxious bitch herself. Both her and Bankruptcy Whore came out on the attack before the opening credits were finished. Jackie, if you ever wondered where your daughter gets her attitude and her mouth from, LOOK IN THE MIRRA! As for BW, she is derranged and should be put away because she is a threat to society…..
Even if I don’t comment, I am reading all of your wonderful, witty comments!!! xoxoxo to all-
@njgasmfan – NEXT time you decide to leave for a while can you PLEASE let us know when to expect you home? You’re not dealing with a bunch of Jacqueline’s over here young lady!!
Now get out of that zebra onesie, throw on your booty hat and start dishing some snark!! LOL,;)
Now you KNOW I’d rather be here snarking it up with my BFFs (all of you!) instead of working – PCheez, will do, I’ll get right on it! By the way, is the Onesie the new Snuggie?
@njgasmifan….I was wondering where you’ve been! I hope you are still planning to go to the auction and come back with a play-by-play for all of us at the ‘Gasm!
@Marijai – I’m so torn. Part of me really wants to go for the fun, the other part of me is so revolted by BW that I feel it’s not worth my time. Sadly, non of my close-by friends are RH watchers – so I’d be going alone. We’ll see…..:-) thanks for thinking of me, though!
@chemgal-That just me personally. I however can’t really speak from personal experience being that I myself am not a mommy yet. I will say this though, if it is cold outside, I do have socks on. I am one of those weird-o’s that will wear socks to bed in the winter. Once I move, I am going to probably spend a fortune on wool sock! Yes I am aware that babies have those cute little sausage legs and their little feet and legs are just there, you can’t make out the ankels yet. I guess that is just what all makes us different.
And I hate pink, so will I be a bad mom if I don’t dress my little girl in pink? Hoping that I blessed with a little girl…
@njgasmifan–oh, if you go, will you post pictures. Apparently Tree has not seen a photographer at her house taking pictures of the inventory! -inser eye roll here–
@chemgal…LOL…my cousin got her baby’s ears pierced at about 3 months old and it lasted until the baby found her ears. She could not keep earrings in, so finally she just gave up!
You’re still A-okay in my book!
While I would never underestimate the Federal Governments ability to fuck their prosecution up somehow, that’s some deep shit those two are in. My dream: getting one to turn on the other. They do seem laser focused on Teresa’s book deal and her failure to disclose it.
Prosecution Whore-ah!!!
@Skatt, where did you find B-Side’s blog?!?!! I would LOVE a link.
Leia, I loved the recap!! Terrificalness! Were you a teen model?!
Haha, greatness.
I haven’t watched the show yet b/c the guide SAID RHONJ but the DVR taped something else completely. I think it’s Theresa’s fault somehow… Anyhoo, the recap was hilarious, the comments great, and links awwwwesome. Now if I could only watch the show. Oh, well. Bad Girls Club will have to fix my idiot-tv craving for now.
@skatt–hmmm that is very interesting about the book. That is the “money” that they have been spending. I read somewhere that it was ok to spend that money because it is the money that she had made after they filed. If one of them were to turn on the other I think it would be Tree turning on Juciy! She just seems like the person that would throw anyone under the bus to get what she wants! She’d probably throw Gia under the bus if she had to justify why she can afford to spend 3,000$ a month on clothes for those brats!
@njgasmi–if I lived closer I would totally go with you! I am sure that I might beable to barter prices with Tree and the goils! How long do you think it would take me if I drove to NJ? The auction isn’t until the October 3rd right?
Sugarbearly There: Bsideblog.com- His never ending captions under the screenshots are my favorite.
I hope the poo hits the fan for Teresa. I hate her with a passion. With Danielle, you know what you are getting. She really doesn’t hide the fact she’s a liar and completely off her rocker. People like Teresa who say they are nice people when in reality they are vile, nasty gutter trash is what makes me sick. Danielle recognizes all three of their hypocrisy which is why she throws their dirt in their faces which sets them off. Caroline deserved to have the fact she is good friends with people indicted by the Feds. Teresa should have her finances and the nephew thrown in her face. Jaqueline should have to hear what a lousy mother she is from Danielle. As horrible as Danielle is….the other three bitches are just as bad. Hate Hate Hate Teresa.
@Skatt….did you see where the docs say they deposited over $192k over the course of 3 months after filing for bankruptcy?! Broke my ass!! And $90k in credit card debt? I mean, just how does a person do that and “not know”? I call bullshit on the whole thing. Hopefully when the feds get done with them, there won’t be enough of their asses left to nail to the wall!
Whew – just read that Filing @shantigal posted. You know what strikes me? The number of businesses Juicy filed with the state of NJ, and the lack of separation between the business revenues, and what they drew against it for salaries (including TG Fabulicious). They’ve been playing fast and loose all along, and no one spiderwebs businesses like that unless they’re playing a shell game.
I found the hiding and destroying of assets claim to be very interesting as well. The bankruptcy is the tip of the iceberg for them; the IRS and NJ State Tax Department will nail their asses to the wall. I actually think it’s entirely possible one or both could go to jail. Someone has a real hard-on for Teresa too – she might not be entitled to ANY money from that book.
The mass-consumption and over the top entertaining pissed me off all along – I can’t say I’m sorry it’s coming back to bite her in her dumb-ass monkey-butt.
This is random, but does anyone else find it very humorous that Teresa was insinuating that someone else is related to Jersey Shore? Please, if anyone belongs on Jersey Shore…it’s Teresa by far. I can’t wait for next season to find out that she’s JWoww’s estranged mother.
How could I have forgotten to comment on the Maine comments? Leia has obviously really been here. The coast and southern part of the state are absolutely beautiful and filled with middle to upper class families many with college degrees or some type of specialty training they completed after high school. I read once that Maine has more millionaires per capita than any other state. The problem is, its all concentrated in a very small space. I have lived in WV and along the Kentucky border for a bit, but believe me, there are more hillbillies in Maine than anywhere else I have ever been! Aroostook County (known simply as “THE COUNTY” here in Maine is like its own world. It makes us a full fifth of the state of Maine, has about 70,000 people total, almost 1/3 of those are disabled, the average house costs 60,000, over 95% are white and 2% are Native American. They grow potatoes up there and the lumber companies employ the rest. When the potato crop is ready – ALL THE SCHOOLS SHUT DOWN FOR 2 OR 3 WEEKS!!!- and the kids and teachers are hired to help harvest. They don’t have classes, don’t have practices, don’t play any sporting events. Its like a whole other world and every once in a while, a state senator from the county will propose splitting the state in half and them becoming their own state.
Thank you so much for all your support regarding my sockless, shoeless children. I’m probably one of the few moms of kids their age who actually have to ask before we go somewhere, do you have shoes? thank God for crocs and flip flops.
@Mr Reality – Jwow’s mother!
@Prodigal – What is fueling the fire of my hate for teresa is that people like her seem to be teflon coated. Sure there’s some media coverage and some embarrassment now, but I would bet dollar to donuts she and Juicy wind up staying in that house, refurnishing it with even cheesier selections, and spending like a drunk sailor on leave. They have hidden money and as she stated at the reunion, they’ll be back on top eventually. That burns me up so much. As someone who always pays what I owe and lives within my means, I hate seeing people like this fuck the system.
“Thank you so much for all your support regarding my sockless, shoeless children.” LMAO!!!
The Northern Kingdom in Vermont is a lot like Aroostek County, and boy do they HATE out of staters driving on those mountain roads. I still can’t believe my stepdaughter lives there, LOL. She was a high-maintenance girl with a low threshold for boredom; my husband and I sat in stunned silence when we first went to visit her there 10 years ago, and she explained to us (wearing no makeup – even more disturbing, it was so out of character) how her boyfriend explained to her that having a dishwasher would spoil her, and doing things the old-fashioned way would teach her to appreciate what she had.
It’s a hard life for a lot of women up there, I wouldn’t last 2 weeks. BIG difference between the haves, and the have nothings.
RE Teresa – I know exactly what you mean @chemgal, and you’re probably right about her landing back on top. It infuriates me, and she has ZERO remorse about any of it.
I hate Teresa.
I think she is showing some fake remorse now via the life and style, people and US magazines because her lawyers finally made her realize most of her problems are because she hasn’t shown any remorse and has continued to spend money like crazy. I understand the economy is bad and some people got caught with their pants down so to speak, particularly those involved in any way with housing. Those people filed and are really trying to rebuild and those are the folks that banks and credit card companies have factored into their business plan. I’m okay with it in those cases. Its people like Teresa and Juicy and my neighbors, who wipe the slate clean and start spending before the ink is dry and appear to not have any remorse or to have learned anything.
I am shocked how many times Teresa and Joe filed amendments on their paperwork. @Chemgal and @PCheez – maybe, just maybe the courts will try and make an example out of T&J and their unethical ways.
@PCheez – I would have told the boyfriend that I’d APPRECIATE a dishwasher!!!
@ chemgal and P. Cheez and anyone else with knowledge–Please do tell me more about this northeastern enclave of hickery! I know this sounds weird–because it is weird–but I have an obsession with hicks, hillbillies, backwoods ass people, and ghettos (not so much rednecks) that knows no bounds. I wish they would do a show about THIS, rather than these entitled bitches, because it is way more interesting. I swear to God, I don’t look down on these people (the hicks I mean; of course I look down on the Housewives), but I am completely interested in them.
Every time I try to do internet research on these fascinating places, I wind up at some bullshit PC chamber of commerce website. Closest I have ever gotten–driving from Tallahassee to Ocala, Florida on Route 17. HBO also had a short-lived documentary about people who lived in Kentucky who were backwoods, but that is all I have ever found. Does anyone know a website, or a book, or a documentary about any of these shenanigans??
My ignorant ass thought this only happened in Appalachia until now. The irony that it occurs in New England; so close to Boston, Montreal and even New York City–makes it 10 times more interesting. Someone throw me a bone of information, as you have officially whet my appetite!
@Savannah, Read the Beans of egypt maine and redneck riviera and winter’s bone. one is about trash of maine, the other is real life story about a “hunting club” owned in Alabama or Mississippi, and the third about the ozarks. All are really well written and amazing to think people live like that in modern times!
@Savannah – ask me anything you like about the hicks, hillbillys or mountain people…I’m married to a born and bread hick…City girl married the hillbilly boy and moved him to the city. You can take a hick out of the mountains, but you can’t take the mountains out of a hick! Oh BTW…my husband (the hick) was driving thru DC the other day and saw the Bravo van and the RHODC cast.
I am confused, and need the help of the observant Gasmii. On the view, Tree claimed the 10th anniversary ring was costume jewelry. Now she claims it’s a yellow sapphire. Is it a magic ring?
@njgasmifan,Glad to see you posting.I think you should take PCheeze’s suggestion and check in when she asks..She threatend to send a posse after me! You know what they call her around here dontcha?..Take her “suggestion” seriously..LOL
@Iona Trailer I agree.I think the minute the women sat back down after Teresa’s outburst Andy should have asked Teresa what the hell that was about.If she didn’t want to say anything,he should have turned to Danielle and asked her.Those women get away with this kinda shit all the time.They never have to answer any hard questions and,even when they do answer,they give vague answer’s or just plain lie with the transparency of glass and STILL don’t get called out.I think that the reunion shows should be hosted by someone that has no stake in the show.
@Savannah Heh..I live in Fl about 40 miles from Ocala in a very very very small town.The only time the county even comes around is to repair our caution light.(we had to petition to get it).When I was younger I considered myself to be a bit of a redneck but with age I don’t put myself in any catagory.If you asked the folks here you would probably hear most call themselves just country folk.And hick is far from an insult.We keep our homes nice and the vegetable gardens around here are the envy of many.Including each other! Even though we aren’t in the big city,we still want to “keep up with the Jones’” when it comes to the gardens and the fields!
In my opinion southerners definately have a strong sense of southern hospitality.It runs in family’s and is passed on.But I don’t think that’s to say that people who aren’t southern are less hospitable.I think it has more to do with the fact that living in a small town gives you a familiarity whith your surroundings and of other people.This can happen anywhere in the U.S.I am inclined to think that in a big city it isn’t as easy to do.
Also,It doesn’t bother me to be called a hick.Just don’t call me late for collards.
Darn,sorry for running on at the kb!
TC,Robin
@Robin…Small towns are definitely charming and it cracks me up how gossip moves at the speed of light in them. And that was before the internet and cell phones.
@Reality Check,Oh most definately.But,on the other hand,a friend in need gets quick response too.Fire,loss of a loved one..
I won’t say shit if my mouth is full of it!No gossip from me
Besides I don’t go to church and that’s where all the gossip is.Not inside the church of course because the bible speaks about that.But if you go outside…LOLOL..
TC,Robin
@Robin…Oh my Goodness LMAO. That is so true – inside of church it’s all Love and Light. Outside of church everyone is fair game! But I totally agree with you about the friend in need getting a quick response. Hell, someone’s need may be mentioned during church, then people will go outside and talk about you and then go home and cook you a meal and bring it to you. It really is fascinating!
I hate Jacqueline more than ever. I can imagine Assley watching the reunion and thinking, in her lobotomized way, “Wait, I’m supposed to ‘show respect’ and ‘know my place’ around that hot dog in a sequined wrapper?” One thing I like, however, is Cheez’s new pic and her long hair.
I am in the backwoods of South Carolina visiting family, and everyone is welcome. All the grapes and peanuts you can pick! We boil the peanuts in a large vat outdoors, eat grits and fried fish for breakfast, and chew the juice out of raw sugarcane. There are no street lights on this stretch of road (people have yard lights), one car passes by every hour, and everytime I meet someone at a picnic or gathering, I can’t help but wonder, “are we related?”
I have cousins whose name I still don’t know because they answer to monikers like Bubby, Sister, Boo, and my favorite, Aunt Daughter(bless her soul).
I’m a city girl, born and raised, but I loved my summers down here..running free in open fields, chasing chickens, and driving our golf cart at top speeds. But nowadays…smh This town has no wi-fi, or high speed internet. Folks are using NetZero dialup! Get me to the city, stat!
@mediagirl: observant Gasmii to the rescue!
On the View, Teresa was wearing a ring with an oval shaped stone, with a silver-pronged setting. Just a solitary stone, the color of dark sand. This was obviously costume jewelry and what she was referring to when the panel pointed it out. Her anniversary ring- which she didn’t wear on the show- is a square (princess cut?) yellow stone, framed by a row of diamonds. Could be a real sapphire, or not, but it’s definitely not a diamond.
I’m gonna have to call shenanigans again. Something is fishy about the Gorga family. How can these poor parents raise two kids to both become millionaires? Completely legally, I mean? I hear the brother is even richer than Teresa was..and his house is twice the size of theirs. So maybr with the sister-inlaw on the show, we can learn all their dirty secrets, as well. *evil grin*
Well, when you’ve got a U.S. Trustee on your ass, it might be a little hard to end up on top of the heap. Something might start sticking to that Teflon pretty soon.
It looks to me like there’s a pretty good chance of the Trustee going after the assets of the various LLCs, because of the way Joe and Tree treated the corporations as their personal bank accounts, rather than taking a salary, dividends, or whatevs. They could lose it all, y’all!
Tee hee hee.
@Sarcas, it sounds great down there with the family. Do you eat the peanuts soft and salty? I heard somewhere that they sell them that way in the south, boiled until they get kind of soft.
@Savannah – “My Brother’s Keeper” was an Academy Award winning documentary about three elderly brothers from Munnsville, NY (very near where I live) and how one murdered the other. It was a really complicated case because it was probably a mercy killing, but it got very murky due to the fact that they were all having sex with each other. “Affliction” is a great movie with Nick Nolte that is about the area in NH/VT that I was talking about. “On South Mountain: The Dark Secrets of the Goler Clan” is a book that was written years ago about a family in Nova Scotia. It’s hard to find, because the Canadian government freaked out when it was published, but the entire family has been inbred for decades.
Here’s a weird factoid about Danielle – she grew up about 15 miles from where I grew up. She probably used to come to my town to hang out in the bars when she was in high school or right after. Where she grew up is very rural, and the town next to hers was considered at one time to be the incest capital of the US. The thing about her claims of sexual abuse are probably true, as it usually is with any woman who ends up in the sex industry at a young age, but because she has such an obvious Personality Disorder, it’s hard to know when or who actually abused her – she might not even know.
@maryedith – Thanks! LOL, my mom recently told me I needed to pick a style because QUOTE “Janis Joplin wasn’t working for me at my age”. Haha.
@Pixie – from your lips to God’s ear!
@Robin – giggling!
@Reality Check – “@PCheez – I would have told the boyfriend that I’d APPRECIATE a dishwasher!!! ”
Haha, you’r nicer than I am, because I would told the boyfriend that I’d appreciate it if he’d go fuck himself. LOL.
Just a shout out to all those that comment. I get just as excited to read the recap as I do to read the comments. I read a little of the recap and then I read a little of the comments. So yeah you!
But the best part of the reunion that I don’t think got a mention in the recap. Well Caroline saying we are in the OK Corral now was the best part. I am not sure how that even happened because Leia hit every high and low point and everything in between. But I like when Anderella was asking about an article in the NY Times (or was it the Post, I can’t remember) that listed her various debts. And Teresa’s response was who believes everything that they read if the paper? Okay well Teresa we know that you believe nothing because you can’t read. But also people can believe this because those amounts were the ones give by you and Joe to the court when you went to file for bankruptcy. It is public record and that it where the information came from. You stupid monkey and that is an insult to a monkey.
@IonaTrailer:
Yes, I agree that all of the WOMEN are equally bad, but Danielle is the worse. Also these women have had to deal with reading all the shit that Danielle was saying in her blogs and I think that just add fuel to the fire and made them ready to rip into her at the start of the show.
What I think that bothers the women so much about Danielle is all the shit that she pulls off camera and in their real lives. And then she gets on camera and sits there all calm and collected looking like the innocent victim in it all. Danielle has the ability to twist a situation to suit her and an ability to completely deflect or avoid answering any question. I am glad that Caroline was there to call her out on her shit because Miss Angie wasn’t going to do anything about it. What scares me the most about Danielle is that I don’t think that she realizes that she is a liar, or devious because in her mind the truth is whatever it needs to be for that moment. I think that she sees herself as a good woman and that she is only protecting herself (that is were the paranoia narcissistic personality comes in to play)
There were a few times when she would say something and in the next breathe make a statement that was completely contridictory. And then some would call her out on it, but you just said something else 5 minutes ago. She’s like no didn’t, I did not just say that. Why are you saying that I did? See this is what you do you gang up on me. I honestly think that she has convinced herself that she did not say it. Most people w/ borderline personality disorder honestly believe that they didn’t do or say anything hurtful or wrong and when you call them on out it they don’t remember doing it.
And I do think that her kids don’t have an light in their eye or at least they do, but it gets lost in 1000 yard stare that they always have. If Danielle was my mother. I would walking around looking shell shocked like that too.
Also I read somewhere that Danielle is telling people in Teresa’s town that Teresa has been stalking her, keying her car, breaking her side mirrors, etc. Which is just devious and manipulative. If Danielle had any damage done to her car and she thought that Teresa caused it there is no way in hell that she wouldn’t have call the police and tried to press charges. The woman is a psychopath.
And before we forget she used a benefit for a child with cancer to further her agenda. Who she still hasn’t even given any money to. She just brushed that question off and Andy once again just let it go. How disappointing.
@sarcasatire: I WANT TO COME OVER!! I haven’t had boiled peanuts since I left Mississippi and you can’t get them any place but the south. Or I guess where ever they are picked fresh, but I haven’t had an luck finding them. I think I saw them in a can once, but that is not the same. I remember driving down the road, stopping on the shoulder and buying a bag of freshly boiled peanuts. There is not else like them. I can taste them right now. Oh and chewing sugar cane, yes please. I use to do that with my boyfriend when we were out on the buyou trying to catch crawfish and catfish. I am about to cry from all those memories. I hope that you are enjoying your time home. Hey do you get womiiin on the rag pick peanuts and grapes? If the clan of the jewiduice does it then it must be right.
Just saw a blind item on dlisted that is obvs Caroline. It asks which TV mom lied and said her major weight loss was due to portion control when it fact she had the same surgery as her husband? They both had their tummy’s stapled (lap bands, I think it’s called).
I believe Caroline would lie about it. Well, atleast she didn’t say she discovered pilates, that would be obscenely funny.(like when Andy asked if she was hitting the gym. I’m sure we all answered him from our couches, ‘like, nope, that can’t be it.’
Well, since the band means you can’t eat as much as you want, maybe we’ll call ‘portion control’ a half truth with a major omission, rather than an outright lie.
Hey Pixielated! Yes, we cook the peanuts down until they get nice and soft and salty. It’s the perfect snack. I cooked up a smaller batch last night. Down here, they sell them on the side of the road, or even in the supermarket, in a can! (major faux pas to eat those…fresh is always best)
@Bridget: we’ve must’ve been posting at the same time. Of course, you can come over! We have plenty of boil peanuts and even more southern hospitality. Just teach me how to catch crawfish, please! And how to suck out the head like a pro. Wait, that sounded dirty, lol.
No, but really…I’m obsessed with crawfish. My mom’s side is here in Hemingway, but my dad’s near Jacksonboro/Charleston, had more of a bayou vibe. When my daddy was a kid, his gramma beat a small alligator to death with a broom! Then they ate it. Lol, that story still tickles me…
@Reality and Robin – you are so right about small towns taking care of their own. When I got sick with my eye, in addition to having to pay $5000 a month for eyedrops that weren’t covered by insurance we had to drive 2 hours every single day to Boston to have my eye checked for 3 weeks. Our finances were drained very quickly and because I couldn’t drive myself, my husband had to take a lot of time off. My mom quit her job and moved in with us to take care of the kids. Once people realized that what I was dealing with was life threatening and not just an extreme case of pink eye, they circled the wagons and made sure we were taken care of. The women whose kids did martial arts with my kids set up a cooking schedule and someone brought us dinner every single night for 2 months. My mom is in her 60′s and she was exhausted every night (my little 2 year old guy had just been diagnosed as autistic and in addition to taking care of a 7 and 5 year old, she had to take him to a different therapy session every single day) so having dinner ready for all of us was a God send. Someone else (still don’t know who!) dropped cereal off. The teachers from my kids little school (100 kids grades K-2) pooled money and bought us gas cards. My husbands co-workers donated vacation days to my husband and raised money to pay for him to stay in a hotel room the days I had surgery. When a neighbor found out our stove broke in the middle of this, she and found a gently used one and had it delivered. No one wants anything in return except that when possible you pay it forward. My husband and I will be delivering split and seasoned firewood to a family that they husband was injured in a car accident this spring and he didn’t have time to get a supply ready.
Knowing that people like this exist make the ladies of RHONJ even more disgusting!
Teresa’s ring is just more proof that the lady will lie, about anything and everything.
My issue with Danielle v. the mob is that it is clear she is crazy. They poked a hornet’s nest for fun and are now shocked that there is a hornet circling and stinging them. You don’t engage or encourage crazy. This lady has dealt with real hard core criminals so its funny that Caroline thinks she is going to scare her off. I in no way excuse anything that Danielle has done, but I think the other woman lose any right to complain as they keep engaging her. I also think this may be karma. I am sure that there are many woman living in the towns where these woman grew up and have lived who would share stories of being bothered by Teresa, Jacq, Caroline and Dina. They probably picked the weakest one and teased them, ostracized them, called them names and systematically bullied them. They happened to pick someone who having lost her status due to divorce, lost the anonymity of her past, and understood she would never be allowed within the inner circle had nothing to lose and fought back and is going to continue to do so no matter who gets caught in the line of fire.
Aunt Daughter…?
Totally off-topic but, anyone heard about Michaele being on Playboy?
Yes, Matt. She was my mother’s aunt and someone’s daughter. Southern people go for the simple and obvious. My uncle, the 2nd youngest and 1st son, was called Boy by his sisters. Lol they still use it sometimes and he’s in his 50′s.
If Michaele is in Playboy, then the Photoshop wizards must be working overtime!
My ring analysis of Teresa’s jewelry was to say that she wasn’t lying. The ring she said was fake, the one she wore on the view, was not the anniversary ring. She never alluded to the anniversary ring being fake. She asked for diamonds, and Joe gave her the ring..I don’t think the stone type was ever specified until the reunion. However, it is conspicuously absent from the auction pics, if I remember correctly.
Ok, so I have seen a pink sapphire, and a True Blue sapphire-its my wedding ring set– but I have never in my life seen a yellow sapphire. Is that bitch crazy or is she talkin out her ass?
@Matt, as for Mic being in playboy, A Jumbo No.2 pencil will be better to look at! Isn’t it a pre-rec that you actually have to have boobies to be in that mag?? IDK myself, as never have seen a copy, but just saying!
@pcheez-”Haha, you’r nicer than I am, because I would told the boyfriend that I’d appreciate it if he’d go fuck himself. LOL.” Our current apartment does not have a dishwasher, and neither of us noticed until after we moved in and tried to do dishes that first night! Hubs was so mad that if he would have noticed when we were looking at the place, he would have told the manager to “go fuck themself”, because of the dishwasher and the no washer and dryer. My hubby, he has a way with words…
@chemgal – I’m so glad you had a town that rallied around you like that, in addition to the logistical and material help, it must have provided you with a huge sense of comfort and relief to know you and your kids were in a community that was going to pull around and pull through. When my grandson was born at 24 weeks gestation this year, and my stepdaughter almost died, their community rallied and did much of the same. When the coach of the little league team stepped up and took both older boys under his wing for the summer I thought my heart would burst with gratitude.
Community is much, much more a part of all us than we realize until our place in it is compromised, or when it rises to the occasion to support us in our individual need.
It’s funny you used the analogy of the hornet’s nest (did I mention I just finished that book by Stiegg Larsson? GREAT read!), I keep using that with my sister whenever she talks about her ex-husband. It’s so true, that’s exactly what they got with Danielle too. I’ve poked around online here and there to see if there are any mentions of Teresa and Jacqueline pre-show but never find anything. I think you clarified why I find it so ridiculous that Caroline takes this chastising tone with Danielle – it’s kind of like Dr. Laura giving Ted Bundy a verbal spanking; first he’ll laugh, then he’ll bash your head in and fuck your corpse.
Anyone who doesn’t believe the first thing Teresa did was squirrel away her joolerey and dyemuns needs to reread that filing from the US Attorney. She had the good stuff, including that anniversary ring regardless of what anyone says, and she won’t let that go for any reason. Her next claim will be that she sold all of it for money to live on.
Teresa lies about everything and always has, she claims she never works out – what bullshit, she’s ripped did you see her arms when she went after Danielle? She fights every ounce of that so-called “Skinny Italian” food off, every day. She lied to Joe and Caroline about her part in the country club stampede; she lied to the viewers about her pregnancy – we only found out through her bankruptcy fall-out that she needed fertility treatments to have that baby; she lies all the time. She’s a liar.
I grew up with a pathological liar, I can spot them a mile away, even online. Teresa’s an inveterate liar, I don’t believe a word that comes out of her Juicy Joe-hole.
Mr.Reality: I, for one, cannot wait until someone gets a response from either Snooki or JWow on Teresas comment (and you know they will), because it’ll be awesome.
Also, I don’t know anything about Jersey, except what I’ve learned on these highly educational programs, but Teresa was quite obsessed with people “knowing” where she lived/was from-remember, that was one of Danielles remarks that really got the shit stirred at the country club (right before the Running of The Bulls), with Teresa repeating over and over, “I’m from Patterson, bitch!!”.
Mediagirl: Yes, It’s The Limited Edition Bankruptcy Mood Ring. To receive the Yellow Sapphire, you must be at least 10million+ in the hole, and in addition, be insufferable assholes.
“My hubby, he has a way with words… ” LOL, so do you Al – I’ll bet you guys are cute together!
Sapphires come in all colors and varieties, a true clear sapphire that is mined and cut without any heat process is extremely rare and probably more valuable than most diamonds. If that was a yellow sapphire in Teresa’s ring it was probably heat-treated or lab-created, neither one would be an expensive stone in the scope of high-end joolery. I didn’t get a good enough look at her ring, but it is possible it was a yellow diamond of lower quality – it would only look like an inferior diamond to someone who knew diamonds fairly well.
To me, the real significance of the ring was the fact that they would flaunt even the illusion of that kind of purchase in the public eye after filing for the extreme level of bankruptcy protection they did. The reason their bankruptcy will very likely be denied, is because through their public displays of wealth and consumption, the US Government is taking the position that they have hidden or dispersed the majority of their assets and should not be allowed to walk away from their debt. Once they lose bankruptcy protection, their creditors can place liens on all of their assets, which means their home(s), vehicles, tools, furniture will be theoretically owned by their creditors. If credible proof can be found that friends or relatives are in possession of any of those assets, they could also possibly become liable.
A quick google search shows many yellow sapphires for sale…some at target for as low as $170! So, if the diamond frame was really CZ, then it could be a cheap ring. Yellow sapphire, 14K white gold setting, and zirconias framing the sapphire…could be purchased for anywhere between $200-$1000 bucks. I doubt it’s worth more than that. And if it is, she paid too much.
HaHAHHA! Target! I would laugh my ass to next Tuesday if that is where Juciy bought that ring! IDK, I hear sapphire, and I picture a nice blue stone…
@pcheez-or can I call you grammy? JK
How is the grandbaby? That is scary, scary! I will put that litte one in my prayers tonight. It is so nice to know that there are such good people out there that will drop everything to help out a stranger! I have lived in the city all my life, so it is very nice to know that there are good people out there!
@skatt-”Yes, It’s The Limited Edition Bankruptcy Mood Ring. To receive the Yellow Sapphire, you must be at least 10million+ in the hole, and in addition, be insufferable assholes.”
LOL!! This bitch is crazy, she acts like Danielle more and more each time she speaks. Can’t get the lie right the first time, lets make up another one, no one will know the difference. Kind of like, I don’t read the negative things that are published about me, I have never had a photographer in my house taking pictures of all our fine stuff.. please! I hope she and Joe are put away for a long time. Then maybe those little Lemurs can be brought up properly! If they do go to jail, who do you think gets the kids? I’d say, Dina gets the baby, Caroline and Al take the pretty one…Who gets the other 2? Jaq gets Milania, cause she is just an Assley in training…Gia, anytakers?
I should clarify my position on the ring – I think it was an expensive ring or Juicy wouldn’t have been sweating it out to Chris like he was. I think two things could have happened since there seems to be so much confusion over it; one is he gave her an entirely different ring off camera, and the one they filmed was for show because they knew it could become an issue down the line, or two they had a paste copy made and squirreled away the real one. There is no way Teresa would have settled for a cheap ring.
I also do believe the rumors about Joe having a mistress, and Teresa just wouldn’t have settled for anything less. I suspect a lot of those store charge cards were used for the mistress – and ironically I actually believe Teresa when she says she didn’t spend that much in those stores, I think Joe and his girlfriend did.
I think Joe took Chris’ advice and ‘got her a fugazi’.
Obviously, Teresa is one of those people who care more about the appearance of wealth rather than actually being wealthy. If she didn’t she wouldn’t be in trouble for spending money she didn’t have, all to create an illusion of being a millionaire. Plus, she’s not the type to go and get a ring appraised if it’s a gift from her husband. If he gives her a gift, she thinks it costs as much as she feels she is worth.
(I used to work in a high end costume jewelry store on Madison Ave and women would shop there, paying $200 for sterling silver and CZ. But, these women were well-coiffed, with designer everthing, so no one would question the ring’s authenticity. It’s how the rich stay rich..and how the recently poor struggle to maintain the facade.
As much as Joe operates in cash, I doubt he would leave a paper trail leading him to a mistress. Too messy…and as good as he is at hiding assets, I doubt he’d take a girl shopping or give her his card to go herself when he could just leave a few bills on the nightstand(!) before returning home to his, happy wife, miserable life’.
And the point of picking the ring apart to the Nth drgree is? Obviously the ring is a fraction of the whole….
That she wears the shoes she does should be criminal in this situation along with her ring. No matter $100 or $10,000 it is most likely not paid for.
Good point Giff, and you’re right.
Wow, what an obnoxious gaggle of women. I love your recap, all of Miss Andy’s names were very clever. That being said, why is anyone upset that Danielle didn’t contact Jacqueline after she had a baby? I thought the “family” wants Danielle to stay out of their lives. They can’t have it both ways.
One other thing about the whole Dina situation. When Dina &Tommy’s wedding was featured on “My Big Fat Wedding” Tom said he cheated on Dina a couple of times. I don’t think his continued cheating would even be a surprise unless there is more to this story. Something on the down-low would certainly explain why Caroline freaks out and Dina keeps her mouth shut.
Can’t wait for part two.
TVannie
@chemigal: great point about Danielle v. the mob: I don’t think that any of the women realizes that Danielle has the potential to be very dangerous and may not just stop with words. And I agree, they do keep picking on Danielle because it is fun for them, it is fun from them to hurt her. There women are a bunch of coddle, spoiled, self-centered children supported by fondly tolerant daddy-husbands and they are bored with the toys in their play pens and so they engage in bullying and harassment of the weak one in the group.
The ladies of New York realized that they had to stop picking on Kelly because she actually has a serious mental problem. It was probably easier to do because Kelly is just a vindictive bitch when the cameras are on and I don’t think that she harasses any of the ladies off camera.
I think that it is interesting that Danielle picked mafia over team. Team sounds positive, team sounds fun and upbeat. Teams, generally, don’t break people’s knee caps or fit someone cement shoes:) But a mafia that is a whole other story: they kill, harass, threaten, harm. Danielle really thinks that she is fighting a war against the world. That is scary and they women need to stop engaging her because it makes her paranoia worse.
I forgot to mention that some of the other rumors going around is that Danielle made up the story about the mistress and has been the one spreading it around the town. Some say that the blonde that Joe has been seen with is Tamra Barney who they had dinner with when she was in NY. I can’t decide what is really going on especially since I am still a firm believer in the Juicy Joe is a closeted homosexual hypothesis.
I do believe that Danielle probably had each of them investigate since that is what she thought Caroline did to her. Not realizing that Caroline didn’t need to do that because Danielle’s history is all laid out in “the BOOK”. But her having them followed by a PR would explain the source of her information.
(I think that she wanted to come with plenty of bullets in her gun and she was going to all the information that she could. I almost said she was going to get all the shit an each one of them, so she would have plenty of it to fling around at the reunion. But Danielle remembered that Teresa was going to be there and knew she couldn’t compete with someone who has shit flinging in her genes. Teresa & fam fling their own feces on a daily basis after they get done picking nits out of each other’s hair. )
But I am not so sure if Juicy would have a mistress or not. I think that the black nephew angle also makes sense. Juicy having to support both a mistress and Teresa could explain the 11 million dollar debt that they are in.
I think that Danielle has a lot of plastic surgery since the show ended. She looked even more like a tranny than usual, but her outfit choice did not help, and her faced looked even more like the Joker. Her long hair style doesn’t help to soften her look either- causing her face to look more man like and even more like an emaciated skeleton. She is scary. Okay that is not nice to just poke on someone for how they look. They can’t help it. Well they can help it a little by getting less plastic surgery.
Oh yeah why do that ladies always look so shiny on the reunion shows?
“@pcheez-or can I call you grammy? JK How is the grandbaby? That is scary, scary! I will put that litte one in my prayers tonight. It is so nice to know that there are such good people out there that will drop everything to help out a stranger! I have lived in the city all my life, so it is very nice to know that there are good people out there!”
Haha, NO you can’t call me grammy!!! LOL.
The baby is doing remarkably well, he’ll have some issues common to micro-preemies, but as I tell my stepdaughter; he’s perfect in God’s eyes, and in ours too. He’s a fighter and also very sweet, all prayers and good thoughts are appreciated – I never turn those away, thank you Al. I’ve always found the majority of people act with good intentions, it’s rare to come across someone who acts in bad faith deliberately – although I have come across a few unfortunately.
@Bridget – I agree on Danielle’s plastic surgery. If you look at clips from the first season, she looks completely different in this one.
I guess the rumors of Juicy having a mistress have been flying around for quite a while – one article referred to his having a “gummah” for years. So far the black nephew rumor has been debunked because Teresa’s SIL, Melissa Gorga is also Italian. Maybe Juicy has a black lovechild? Of course, we’ll never sort that one out because they’ll never admit it, and any lovechild in general is going to be a problem, LOL.
@mere I don’t think I ever gave you credit for you hysterical line earlier on “that’s settles it then, she said break up”. I went back through the comments to try and find a link and even reading it the second time I almost choked on my own spit while laughing.
And from what I’ve heard, the ring is in fact a diamond. Joe shoved a piece of coal up his ass and everytime one of the Manzo boys walked passed him, the pressure from his anus created it. In fact, I heard this is how they are paying their bills. He has learned he can actually fit a whole shit load in at a time and then they invite Albie over to take martial art lessons. They are considered conflict free diamonds and he is selling them to Russians on the black market.
@Bridget: the new rumor I read regarding the nephew is that teresa’s brother has a lovechild with a black woman, making it teresa’s nephew and the family shame because it blaringly spotlights the brother’s infidelity. All just speculation at this point…but the new season could provide plenty on insight!
Also, I saw Tamra on WWHL the day after Joe’s accident hit the papers and she said that they were all at dinner together and when he left he didn’t seem drunk at all. She called it, ‘very sad’. So, if there is a pic floating around of a woman next to Joe that appears to be Tamra, it very well may be.
Here is what TMZ is saying on Mic posing for Playboy…
*shudders at the thought*
Michaele Salahi is about to crash another party — the one in your pants — because TMZ has learned the “Real Housewives of D.C.” star is taking it all off for Playboy magazine.
And not just artsy “top half” naked — we’re talking full-frontal, birthday suit naked.
Salahi’s rep tells us the shoot will go down later this month — and Michaele is “very excited” about posing down.
We’re told Playboy honchos have not yet determined whether or not Salahi will get the cover … but she would “love it.”
EWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
@marijai – HAHAHA!!!!
What are they thinking? I can see it now, Missy doing a tasteful sprawl on the grass. In front of Auschwitz. She’s emaciated. Ana-Mia fanatics everywhere will rejoice, they just found their new Thinspiration covergirl! LMAO.
Hey, maybe the Salami’s can start a new charity event; The Teri Schiavo Iced Tea Diet Survivors Foundation.
Too far?
@PCheez…..LMAO….I’m soooo going to hell!
LOL – It’s not so bad, they serve booze down here!
Isn’t Missy a bit pre-pubescent-esque for the folks that “read” Playboy? I mean, I haven’t paid close enough attention, but is she going to strategically pose with a tissue?
Oh well, can’t let there be a publication out there, that hasn’t gotten to hear the Salami’s “side” of the story, no matter what!!
@skatt – I heard it was TG Fabulicious leopard and chiffon hair bow.
@PCheez….sooo glad to hear that and to know I will be in good company! We can point and laugh at all of the people who didn’t make it to the “cool” side of hell with us!
So I’m reading this week’s “In Touch” (no judgement!), featuring Tree on the cover…here are a few direct quotes…
“I learned from my mistakes”….is the headline. yeah right! We’ve read the 5 counts against you and KNOW what a liar you are. She goes on to add that as of now, there is no auction in the works. When asked about her going ape shit (pun intended) on the reunion show, she said it was because Dani taunted her about the house being in foreclosure. Tree says it was the investment properties under foreclosure, and if Dani wanted to know so bad what was going on, she should have asked Tree to her face.
Juicy is also quoted in the interview saying their shore house is not in foreclosure and they haven’t lost anything yet. When Tree denies that she was addicted to shopping, Juicy-direct quote from the magazine, “Joe lovingly chimes in that she was.” Juicy goes on to comment about the shopping “I had a fetish with shoes”. Yeah, bet that’s not the only fetish he’s got.
The article ends with Juicy saying he now controls the finances and has put a limit on Tree’s credit cards. (I thought you had to give those up in bankruptcy, since you can’t pay the bill. And if Tree was in charge of the finances as she states, then how the hell did she not know what was being spent? Stupid lying bitch.) Tree says the girls are now wearing each other’s hand me downs.
There is a side article about Juicy cheating with a “Teresa look-alike” (why, God, why??) and about the rumor they sleep in separate beds. (That would explain why she had to spend $12k to get knocked up…Juicy wouldn’t do it!) She goes on to say they are closer than ever and Juicy says they “still make love once, sometimes twice a day”.
I read it so you didn’t have to.
People who brag about having lots of sex, generally aren’t having any at all. Just sayin’.
@Marijai – I’ll never judge a fellow magazine junkie!!! LOL. I didn’t get that one though, so I’m glad you did.
She lied about the auction, I just read that they’re trying to make it private instead of public to limit their public exposure, LOL. Juicy, “lovingly chimes in…”, what a crock of shit, LOL! He wasn’t loving chiming in when he was having tantrums all over Italy about all the money hemorrhaging out of their pockets, or that death march to CHANELZ, LMAO.
I’m guessing old Juicy’s fetish involves Astroglide, a butt-plug and rhymes with power bottom.
Those two are so full of shit, he didn’t control the finances before? Really, didn’t she go prancing into his office last season to get money – cash money, because they didn’t use credit cards?
If they are doing it twice a day, then that would explain why Juicy has to be drunk all the time – now that Teresa got the bolt-ons it’s probably a lot harder for him to pretend she’s Sylvester Stallone.
@Anne…I have always wondered who exactly Tree is trying to convince that they have all this constant, great sex…the viewers or herself?
Totally agree with you @Anne! LOL.
@Cheez…totally laughing my ass off at your comments! And thanks for not judging…I buy US Weekly, Life & Style, In Touch, and Soap Opera Digest every week. I get Entertainment Weekly and Glamour in the mail. Oh, and the “bible” Cosmo. But I am a responsible reader…I either recycle or donate them when I am finished. There is a pre-school near my house for kids who are old enough for kindergarten but aren’t quite emotionally mature enough to go. They use magazines as part of their art projects and as learning tools. And they are a non-profit who accepts kids regardless of their ability to pay. I am hoping to volunteer there later this fall.
@marijai – here is my unabashed PMS checkout haul: Every cheesy tabloid magazine at the checkout, Ben & Jerry’s Karamel Sutra Ice Cream, Pamprin, G2, Velveeta Mac & Cheese, Twix candy bars and those stick-on heat patches.
I should recycle the magazines, but I use them in my fireplace. I give you major kudos for helping out at that pre-school, I can’t think of a better thing than to give your time to kids who need a little extra. That really is awesome, marijai!
@marijai I’m thinking if the kids are using your cosmo for art projects there could be some very interesting collages going home!
People magazine is my tome of choice. However, I am way to cheap to buy it and thankfully my local library has it. I have become pretty friendly with the librarian and she reads it first and then sets it aside for me. I also tend to try and find the obsessive compulsive cashier that works at our grocery store and as long as I don’t have ice cream in my cart, I get in her line so I have time to read Life and Style or US. The cashier puts everything into a bag twice. She puts it in and then takes it out and then puts it back again. With every single item. Before she does this she scans it and then taps it before placing it at the end. I can scan lots of gossip.
Gosh, nothing on the Joe ass squeezing a diamond? Must have sounded funnier in my head than in all of yours. Oh well, you win some, you lose some.
Oh, and @marijai – I own every Real World, Laguna Beach, and The Hills book ever published. I did not pick the name Cheez in homage to Cheez Whiz!!! LOL!
@chem – it WAS funny!! I cracked up – just got a little sidetracked, LOL Sowwy!
@PCheez–”If they are doing it twice a day, then that would explain why Juicy has to be drunk all the time – now that Teresa got the bolt-ons it’s probably a lot harder for him to pretend she’s Sylvester Stallone” Oh my, I just about fell off the couch laghing so hard! Bolt-ons!
@Pcheez & marijai-I am with you on the rag mags!! Although I am limiting my trashy mag spending now, and the ice cream of choice is Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough, and maker is fine
I just started eating ice cream again, so pms is hard to control again.
Tree is a Liar, Juciy is just an idiot. And if Juciy does have a gf on the side, I bet she is laughing all the way to the bank reading about these fools that are millions in debt and she got a whole lot of shit for free…Wasn’t it said when they first filed that they were in debt to the fertility Dr? I understand that treatments are expensive, but shouldn’t you be ready to pay for everything once you decide to have 1 baby let alone another?? I know that some health insurance pays for treatments…then agian, I bet they don’t have health insurance.
@chemgal…yes, it was funny! I got sidetracked as well. Also, I generally don’t take the Cosmo or Glamour mags to the school! They mainly have the kids cut out words or pictures that relate to whatever they are doing. Boyfriend offered me his Maxims mags to take, but I politely declined!
I bought People last week to read about Elin. My mom likes that one and is on a limited income, so I gave her a subscription as a stocking stuffer since I’m in Cali. I told her that way, Santa would come and see her for the rest of the year!
Hmm, I wonder if Tree made Twadriana a desinger baby?
@chemgal, I thought it was pretty clever! The chick at the checkout counter, she does this everytime for you? That is pretty neat. I wonder what the people that are behind you in line are thinking.
Marjai: Thank you for getting In Touch, so Team Gasmii didn’t have too. Good to see right off the bat, she lied about why she went after Danielle. Idiot.
Maybe The Pretty One is Juicys’ Love Child, being as she is the “Marilyn” to the rest of these Munsters.
@Skatt…I do what I can for the Gasmii team! I thought the exact same thing about her lying about Dani. I mean, it is on film and anyone can watch and see what happens.
Breyer’s chocolate chip mint – I would sell my left testicle for it.
Marijai, my 5 year old son loves breasts and he has neither the desire or the skill to hide his fascination. He stares right at anyone’s breasts (he calls them breasticles for some reason) and is fascinated. So he would have loved going to a school that provided cosmo or maxim for art collages!
skatt, you may be on to something because I noticed in the episode when they were packing the pretty one got hit by the littlest lemur and Teresa never told the kid not to hit her sister but told the pretty one not to unpack the lemur’s stuff, and never consoled the pretty one. I think the pretty one is not mommy’s favorite.
@Marijai My Mom sends me books that she has finished reading.My sister commented one time “she never gives me any books” I said “because you don’t read”! She said “oh yes I do! I read People,In Touch,Cosmo…” LOL
TC,Robin
LOL @chemgal!!! Did I ever tell you I think I adore your son? LOL!
Good theory on TPO, I noticed that too and I was like, WTF? Um, your lemur just whacked her sister in the back of the head, and she’s CRYING.
@Robin, sounds like my sister – are we related? LOL.
Earlier comments in the thread mentioned Missy posing in playboy. Michael K has a great line about her and calls her Anne Coulter’s swapped in hell twin!
OMG – She DOES remind me of Anne Coulter, but less scary and more stupid. LOL.
@Robin….she sounds like one of my friends!
@Chemgal…breasticles….I love it!!! Your son sounds like a hoot, and I bet he’s a cutie to boot!
I just mosyed over to the Bravo blogs because I haven’t read their “take” on the reunion.I swear to God I am only at the first blog,Bankrupt whore’s,and I noticed this little tidbit within the first few lines.
“I’m sorry I pushed you, but it’s just my natural reaction to try and shake people off when they’re holding me back”
Sooo just how many times have people had to hold BW back for her to develope an instinct for it? It brought me back to what Caroline MADE SURE to say after BW’s flipout at the reunion.All that “if you acted like that..etc bullshit..Caroline was trying her damndest to make sure folks didn’t think she was aligned with crazy people.But the funny thing is,BW,in her own blog kinda blows what C said out of the water.
BW is too stupid to realize that by saying “when they are holding me back” indicates that she has had to be held back before.So much so,that she has developed in instinct for it.She also makes Caroline’s words ring hollow.Caroline is just as much of a liar as the rest of them.
I know this probably sounds real silly in the scheme of things,but what the hell,..I want to kick the Manzo’s asses every fucking time I see them throwing Ham! What in the?? I want to shove the ham down their throats.I want to throw them in a hog pen and let the hogs have fun with them! I want them to have to serve ham dinner to homeless people every fucking holiday.
Whew!..
TC,Robin
PS,I hate the Ham game.
PSS,Before anyone says it..I know that the ham wouldn’t have gone to homeless people anyway…
What bothers me about this game is this,An animal gave up their life.To be eaten and enjoyed.Not thrown around like a piece of shit.It is extremely disrespectful.
I still think that they need to feed the homeless.Not only do they not respect the animal that gave them the food,they have no regard for what the food that they are throwing around like 3 yr olds could do for someone.
OK,I am gonna get off my soapbox!
I just want to point out with humor and politeness that the animal gave their life up to become a football pig skin too…. the ham game must be some sort of Italian football game.
I hate the Ham Game too, especially now when so many are going without things most of us consider basic everyday entitlements. Plus, I think it’s gross to throw food around like that, it’s a bacteria festival.
Funny @Robin I was just over on Bravo reading the blogs, and watching the preview clips for the second part of the reunion.
You know what kind of pisses me off? All the bitches, including Kim G. are jumping all over Danielle for lying, not owning up to her shit, etc. But Teresa sits there and lies and lies about her financial situation and they all either sit silently by or worse, HELP her lie. Caroline practically wrote the script for how to deal with Juicy’s DUI, and what is this BULLSHIT about Teresa only gets crazy with Danielle?
You’re right, she pretty much blows herself in on that one. I refuse to believe Teresa was just completely in control of her temper for her entire life, and then 30+ years later everything goes to Hell in a hand-basket because Danielle Staub has some magic superpower that unleashes Teresa’s inner Hulk.
The other thing that pisses me off about ALL of them, especially Danielle, is they don’t really own their dirt. Caroline has a good game where she cherry picks what she owns, but she’s just as bad – she and her family stand as one, until someone in her family does something shitty – then she “can’t control that”. Who’s asking her to control it? How about just acknowledging it with some empathy – “I agree, Ashley did something terrible and however you might feel about that is probably justified. Our family doesn’t approve or support any of her behavior toward you, I’m sorry that’s how you are defining my family – because we are angry with her too”.
These women are so stupid, if you want someone to empathize with your position, and you are polarized, always leave a graceful exit for them. Giving Danielle the opportunity to be gracious and feel some control over the situation would have let EVERYONE walk away whole. Caroline and Jacqueline’s way just further polarizes the two factions.
Danielle equivocates too much. She gets slammed on her catfight with Assley, and instead of just saying – “Look, I’m embarrassed I let a kid get to me I know it’s ridiculous; I was really more angry with Jacqueline for not asserting some control and putting a lid on her daughter’s harassment of me. By the time she pulled my hair, I just needed to send a message – Ashley got caught in the crossfire because the adults in her life didn’t do their job”. I mean how perfect would that have been – she owns it, and places responsibility right back where it belongs – and maybe Jacqueline would have to answer for something instead of sitting there hurling petty insults at everyone.
@Robin, so when you want the Manzo’s to feed the homeless are you referring to the Giudice’s? LOL. I’ll bet they’re really going to be some pretty skinny Italians now, LOL.
I finally read the link posted regarding the Giudice’s new charges. What the heck? How many times did these people lie and they are only now getting caught? They had to go back how many times and refile because they suddenly remembered they were owners or part owners of another business, or they suddenly remembered that Teresa owned a business, or that she had a bank account that had almost 200,000 flow through it that she forgot to mention it, or that Joe took a 54,000 MONTHLY salary from one business and he forgot? If these two get away with this, I swear, I am putting a for sale sign on my house, going to NJ and buying the biggest house I can find, and I am never going to pay another bill again in my life!
I don’t like the ham game either. My father’s grandmother lived with us growing up and she and my father struggled his whole life after his dad died to put food on the table. My father remembers that they could only afford meat one day a week and it was always the cheapest cut they could find. Growing up, my brother and I were always told to take the least amount of food we felt we needed as our first serving, we could always go back for seconds, but we were expected to always clear our plates. Nothing was ever thrown out, leftovers were for the next days lunch or dinner. We were always reminded that there are people going to bed hungry. My MIL was very poor growing up as well and she raised my husband with similar beliefs so my kids are getting it too.
I also think its very disrespectful to Caroline or the housecleaner that she may have, as the cabinets and surfaces it touches have to be recleaned.
Prodigal – thanks for expressing what I think I meant to include, but definitely did not clearly state. These woman poked Danielle and never gave her an exit. They would only be happy if she crawled off with her tail between her legs and completely shamed. They really don’t want her to just go away as stated, they want her destroyed before she goes, and that’s not in Danielle’s makeup.
**Disclaimer** I didn’t want anyone to think I am actually unaware of woman/women; just keeping the Danielle humor going.
“If these two get away with this, I swear, I am putting a for sale sign on my house, going to NJ and buying the biggest house I can find, and I am never going to pay another bill again in my life!” Ha! Me too @chemgal!! Did you get the feeling the house they own in Italy is their escape plan?
$54K a month – in PAY. All I can say is someone didn’t pay taxes, and skimmed the profits before declaring them – the IRS and State Tax Department REALLY take a dim view toward that type of thing.
That whole “Skinny Italian” thing really irks me too – she STEALS the idea from Bethenny, those are probably not even her recipes, somehow people are buying this book even though she isn’t that skinny, it hits the NYT Best Seller List (Really? Why?), and she squirrels away the profits and “forgets” about them. WHY, WHY, WHY do people like her NEVER have to answer for their bullshit?
My house was the same way growing up re The Ham Game. My mom grew up very poor, my dad didn’t but his mom did, and wastefulness was considered a big time no-no. Nothing ever got wasted, and my mom was recycling long before it became a requirement. We never left lights on, kept the heat low, and were always mindful of hot water and stuff like that – although a lot of that was leftover habits from the energy crisis and rationing in the 1970′s.
I didn’t have to make any real adjustments to the rise in oil prices because I was always thrifty, and use my fireplace as a source of heat – but the gasoline prices killed me, I live in SUV terrain and I have an 8 cylinder engine. OUCH! Okay off subject again – I hate The Ham Game!
Oh, and I hate Teresa!
I don’t like the ham game either.
I had a pot-bellied pig as a pet growing up. We called him “Fat back”. My father became a heroin addict and disappeared, and my mother had to work at Walgreens, Waldbaums, CVS, and Rite Aid just to feed us. We never saw her for three years. She would just leave out food for us–that’s how we knew we still had a mother. During Reaganomics, she got laid off from all four jobs. We had to eat Fat back. Every time I see those fake mafia motherfuckers throwing around perfectly good ham, it makes my blood boil.
Chemgal: Yeah, I can see where you, your family, and everyone else are coming from with The Ham Game. Both my parents were born in the middle of The Great Depression and they would not have been amused and they both had a wicked sense of humor. That kind of poverty leaves a mark.
With regards to the new charges against our favorite Raging Bankruptcy Bull: I’d be willing to bet that more than one of their friends/associates have filed for Bankruptcy and probably did the old hiding of the assets as well, only I doubt they were 11million in the hole and oh yeah, THEY WEREN’T ON NATIONAL TELEVISION PRETENDING TO BE LOADED , pretty much providing a video diary for the Government.
Being as how so much has been made about how “rich” Teresa’s sister-in-law is, I wonder if that’s where some of the money got funneled to. I would think (?) it would need to be someone with a fair amount of assets themselves, to make it easier to hide.
And wouldn’t it be just like our Anatasia Beaverhousen to pick her for this very reason? A girl can dream.
Put me on the no likey the ham game bandwagon, too, please. My parents grew up in the depression (yeah, I’m an old lady of 55) and while my mothers family raised their own food and never went hungry my fathers family grew up in the “city” (Tuscaloosa, Alabama)and they rarely had meat. He was also a vet of WWII and Korea and my parents were no strangers to ration cards so still. When I was young, though, I recall my father’s insistence that we always had something that passed for meat each meal, whether it was fried weenies or spam, but I guess he just wanted us to have better than he did. And my mom was a genius with leftovers. So, I do find the ham game offensive and telling. We would never have disrespected my parents hard work by throwing food around and certainly wouldn’t have been able to sit down for a couple days.
I find everyone in this particular HW franchise to be morally bankrupt and they all talk out of both sides of their collective pieholes. And, just my opinion probably but I think the whole Danielle leaving the show thing is just more Bravo propaganda to increase ratings for the reunion episodes. Bravo has never officially stated she will not be returning and I’m just not buying it…..yet. I need proof, dammit, I hate her!
But I hate Teresa more! Argh! I can’t watch the show because her voice is so grating!!
“were no strangers to ration cards so still” So still? Oops, shoulda proofread.
@PCheeze LOL @ feeding the poor Giudice’s !
TC,Robin
Even though I’m not there, I am always here!
A couple of thoughts I have had that have not been addressed yet.
1. Teresa’s contract with Bravo for next season. IF indeed it is a done deal, there may be a clause in their to hang her on for roughing up Miss Alison Beaverhausen AND a clause for her current felonious behavior with the bankruptcy fraud.
2. I too read the documents and having a background in corporate law as a legal assistant, the term “piercing the corporate veil” came back to me as it certainly appears that these were shell corporations to bounce funds from place to place. Teresa’s behavior at the Country Club with the police is proof positive that she is a manipulator and conniver when it comes to producing proof. Doesn’t carry her license, my ass…unless she is as bad as Juicy and has had it taken away by the State.
3. The discussion on how Danielle’s ex is attempting to gain custody of the younger daughter, is it Jillian? My take on that is Christine is 16, and has this modeling career that is going to take her places that may be all over the world, and as we heard Danielle say, she plans to be right there by her side, all the way. BOOK ‘EM DANO! Where does that leave poor Jillian? I think that child deserves the stability her father can offer. He probably sees the direction Christine is heading and realizes it is too late or he truly wants her to have that chance at her modeling career.
4. Yes Danielle has her problems, but for Christ sakes, that does not give all those other hags, Kim G included, the right to tell her to shut up! Step up Angelina! Oh too late, this fuckfest was taped!
Forgot to add:
HAM GAME=TOTAL STUPIDITY & WASTEFULNESS
I too come from depression era parents one in a family of 7 kids, and the other 10. I am one of five. If my folks ever caught us doing something that irresponsible we would have been working to replace said ham AND probably could not have sat down to enjoy it!
Imnotthere: I thought that too- Who doesn’t carry I.D.?
Maybe this week will be slightly more satisfying, if only because we’ll get to watch Jacqueline have to explain the fuckedupedness that was/is Ashley. Oh, and more on the “Foreclosha” that we all made up.
Step up Amelia!!!
@notwithoutmytv
Wow. Thanks for sharing your story with us, it broke my heart to read about Fatback – I’m sure it devastated yours to lose your pet like that. I’m so sorry.
@skatt – “Raging Bankruptcy Bull” BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!
Like @imnotthere said – her whole thing about the ID and the way she was handling the police screamed “I’ve been here before!” Weird, who treats the police like that?
@lindaw – “I find everyone in this particular HW franchise to be morally bankrupt and they all talk out of both sides of their collective pieholes.”
Yep, you pretty much summed it for me linda!
@imnotthere – you have the inside knowledge on bankruptcy?!? Where have you been?!? LOL, so do you think they’ll be denied the right to file? What happens if you commit perjury in bankruptcy court, can you be arrested?
I hadn’t heard anything about Danielle’s ex going after custody of Jillian, I hope he does though. That little girl just pulls my heartstrings every time she’s put in a situation where Danielle just starts unloading all her adult crap on her. When Danielle was talking about meeting Caroline, I saw for the first time how Danielle’s paranoia and fear was manifesting with the kids, Jillian in particular. She really believes her mother is in some kind of mortal danger, and unlike Danielle her fear and anxiety is real.
I totally believe the kids cry in school, and I think they go to Catholic school – so I can’t even imagine how Danielle’s craziness is playing out there, teachers included. Danielle’s choices in who she brings into her home, her lifestyle choices in general – what thinking parent is going to tell their adolescent or preadolescent daughter, “Sure, you can spend the night.”? I was surprised to the kids on the show this season at all, although I’m glad Christine gained an opportunity out if it. I hope she has good people looking out for her interests as a teen model, because as I’m sure Leia could tell us (and I hope she does!) that business sounds very treacherous for young girls.
I hope Astrid nails Jacqueline’s Spanx to the wall this week.
We cried for two weeks solid after we had to eat Fat back.
But, I can still taste that sweet, sweet pork. Sometimes, when I’m sad, I still fry up some bacon and put it between two oreo cookies. I do that with half the package, then I drive over to the poor side of town, and I drive around, blowing the horn, and throwing strips of bacon to the street urchins that chase the car. They don’t get any Oreos, though. I bought those suckers with my food stamps, and I gotta make ‘em last for two weeks.
LMAO. Ass.
Still laughing at my own DUMB ass! Hahahaha!
LMAO….love it!!!!
Still laughing and trying to type this on my tiny phone keyboard!! LOL!!!
@notwithoutmy–LOL- bacon and Oreos! You crack me up!!
I have eaten Stew Pot Next Week.And Thanks For Dinner.And Good Girl.And many more.
But I never threw them against a wall.Before or after they died.
Hugs,Robin
Okay, I was a coward and didn’t comment on Fat Back but I had such mixed emotions. Shame for laughing when I read it, then embarrassment for laughing since I didn’t know if it was true or not. Then shame for laughing yet again. Then relief cuz it was PCheez who bit and not me. Then I laughed again! Yay for Fat Back!
Still LMAO….we are all so going to hell, but I think we’ll have so much fun!!
Okay, so Boyfriend finally went to bed and I got to do some much needed tabloid reading. In this week’s Life & Style, Tree COMPLETELY contradicts what she said in this week’s In Touch Weekly. I can’t find a link to L&S (damn it).
It talks about the items up for auction are estimated to bring only $51k. There is also a picture of the mirra. It says she “was initially in denial about her financial straits and reality set it after she and (Juicy) asked a court to postphone a planned auction of their prized assets.”
An insider states, “gradually she realized it was getting more serious by the day….as it started to set in that she could lose everything….her way of life…she started to get more serious and moody…this is going to completely change her life…she is devastated.”
Read on fellow Gasmii….it gets more rediculous….
“Understandably sensitive, Tree flew into a reage when her other adversary, Dani, brought up the Guidices’ money troubles during the two-part RHONJ reunion…”I’m going to pin you down”, Tree screamed in Dani’s face…”do not break up my family”…
Now we all saw that ain’t how it all went down in front of Miss Andy. The article goes on to quote a psychiatrist about the auction. she says something like that could cause the man to feel emasculated and he has nothing left to give to his wife, leading to divorce. And those tacky ass outfits those demons passing as kids wore in Italy were $240 each and were custom made.
Finally (thank God) it says that these days she is pinching pennies, ditching credit cards, and wearing only costume joolry. Well, just ’cause she ain’t wearing it, don’t mean she ain’t stashed it all over hell and half of Georgia.
Remember Gasmii BFFs…I read it so you didn’t have to!
Now, where is Boyfriend’s bong?
Okay, one more thing and then I’m calling it a night…I don’t think Caroline had lap band surgery. I live in the land of plastic, and generally a person has to be at least 100 pounds overweight and have a certain BMI index to qualify. I think maybe by “portion control”, she meant something along the line of a paid food delivery service , Weight Watchers, Zone Diet, etc., or that if Albert had it done, she followed the same portion sizes that he had to eat.
@Marijai, You are probably aware of the fact that some Doc’s will do just about anything anymore and regulations fly out the window if given enough $ and referals…
He didn’t tell you were the bong is? Bad Bad Boyfriend..:)
Don’t feel pregnated..I am up this early because I have a shit pot full of people coming here for a bbQ and we are starting the smoker.There will be no portion control I guarenteee”
Happy Holiday ,Robin
I just noticed the time stamp on my post.I wish it was 2:12.I would be asleep again!No such luck.
BTW,Has anyone found Marijai’s boyfriends bong yet? ..Just wondering…
@lindaw – notwithoutmytv threw me for a loop the first time I read one of his posts. I was not expecting it but once I realized he (I think its a he, but who really knows) is amazingly funny and brilliant I looked forward to his posts!
All this talk of fat back, portion control and bbq has made me hungry! And I didn’t even take a hit.
Today is an exciting day here in Maine. Labor Day; that means its time to unpack the blaze orange vests that have to be worn soon anytime we step out of the house and we are packing up the young ‘uns and the guns and going target shooting and to sight in the guns.
@prodigal cheez-I wish I had some inside scoop on that bankruptcy shit. Hell, I would offer my services “pro bono” to the prosecution just to play!
@notwithoutmytv-I remember my Dad regaling us with stories about the bacon grease sandwiches they would take to school for lunch and boy, what a “treat” that was! It always made me sick to think about cold bacon grease ruining a good homemade bread! But an Oreo gives me pause for consideration! You are a hysterical!
@chemgal – here in Michigan I take out the hunters orange spray paint and tag my big black lab “DOG” when we go out to the farm!
I am writing this in a couple places…Becauase I am not sure where the RHofNJ thread is anymore….
but my NJHW info guide tells me Sean Kingston is performing on round two of the insanity tour. Now will he be singing Beautiful girls (all over the world) or Fire Burning (on the dance floor)? Either way I would think this the stangest thing in the world. No Lesibian Superstar? No Jillian? No surprise Milani singing somewhere over the GR*#@$@%#^$&$ Rainbow? Mybe Assley will back him up in her gold lame bikini…… or Carolyn… anything is possible tonight.
@giff, I heard it was going to be a homage to their collective brain capacity and he’s singing “eenie meenie”.
@imnotthere – we use to have a yellow lab (now looking for a black or chocolate – yellow lab hair does a number on my primarily black and navy wardrobe) and I had to put him in a large orange mesh construction vest. Apparently, the way to get rid of someone here in Maine is via hunting accident. They tend not to be investigated too well and if it happens north of augusta, you can even shoot a woman in her own yard, blame her for wearing white gloves and get away with it.
Also, its quite possible Caroline was 100 pounds overweight. Even when I gained 50 pounds people would react shocked to hear I was that much overweight. I gained it literally all over in my arms, thighs, calf, ankles, face, chest, hips, stomach ….. and it is surprising when you gain that way how overweight you can be without looking blimpy. I simply looked “thick” and now that I’ve lost 30 of it, I get people looking at me with the side eye when I say I’m trying to lose 20 more (even then, I’ll still be 5 to 10 over what I consider my healthiest weight) Caroline easily could have been within range for lap band as I think she was close to 70 to 80 pounds overweight. She just really carries her weight well. My doctor said it is what makes it hard to convince people they really need to lose weight.
@chemgal – I remember that incident with the woman and the white gloves, being on TV. I DO have a black lab – do you want him?!!! He came to us 4 years ago at age 5-6 weighed 130 lbs, we now have him down to 108. We call him the Mayor as he frequently takes off and visits the local merchants, including the bar on the corner! His sire was a champion hunter featured on some magazine cover – I say this dog is overbred and is mentally retarded, yet very lovable, if you can stand the barking!
I hate Teresa!!! #200
The girls were just on Wendy Williams and I could barely stomach it.
Marjai: Do you think, in a million years, it would occur to the idiot TO NOT BY THE COSTUME JOOREY EITHER? You should get high before reading that shit.
Robinez: BBQ!! YAY!! It makes everything better!!–and you can eat leftovers while watching this crap tonight. No BBQ Game. That would be all kinds of wrong. Jesus would cry.
Oh, and the story of Fatback was almost as good as The Tale of FuckSlut. MISS U TWUNTS!
I always know where there is a stash!
Hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday!
@skatt…of course it didn’t occur to the idiot not to buy the joory. She was too busy spending $60k on home furnishings.
I almost forgot, the article has a side blurb about the house. Evidently, the house really isn’t in forclosha. Since the bank owns the house and they are making timely payments, they will be able to keep the house.
Ok, It is possible that Caroline lost 25 pounds on portion control. I have lost 105 pounds on my own with no surgery! I went on an all protein diet. No Carbs…It was hard at first. No soda, pasta, potaotes..It really became hard when I went home for my sisters wedding, I didn’t even have a wedding cupcake! It took me a year to loose that weight. Because I was making the food, Hubby ate it. He did not lose any weight, but he did not gain any either. There have been times in the past few weeks, that I would want to eat everything out of house and home, but I have not! I had a beer a few weeks ago, and couldn’t even drink half of it. I have had some icecream, but it is a scoop, that is it. I started drinking soda again, but it is a sprite or 7-up here and there. I had spaghetti and meatballs last week for the first time in well over a year. We don’t go out to eat anymore…It has been hard, and I was the one that put on that extra weight, and I made a decision to take it off. My goal was only 50, not 105. This diet kicked my ass!, and gave me other health problems..
@robin–what time is the BBQ? I will see if I can get the next flight oout, I will bring my home made BBQ sauce and my baby pork loin.
So I finally watch this trashola show and my goodness all of these women are in denial. What bothered me the most was Teresa jumping in Danielle’s face. If they want to yell and scream at each other that’s fine, but to get in someone’s personal space is a totally different story. Teresa knows that Danielle won’t hit her so it’s ok to stand over her and yell in her face. Had she done that to me she would have been picking her teeth off up of the floor. But then again she would have never been stupid enough to even try that with me. I am a nice girl but every one knows that there are certain lines you cannot cross with me.
I hate that none of these girls will call their so called friends out on their ish. Someone should tell Jackie and Ashley that she was wrong for what she did and does deserve what she gets. Maybe next time she won’t put her hands on someone when she “thinks” her mother is being attacked. They should tell Teresa to stop acting like they aren’t in any financial trouble, and that she should say that she was wrong for continuing to spend money when she found out about their financial troubles. Danielle needs to take responsibility for the things that she says. Caroline needs to understand that she’s not always right and not everyone has to do what she says.
It seems like Jill Z tried to do the whole Caroline thing and control the other cast mates but since the NY housewives have jobs and a mind of their own they told her to shove it.
I think Caroline is on the Medi weightloss diet. I noticed a canister (probably for the shakes) on her counter when T and J came over one time. I remember thinking it was for Albert but wondering if she was doing the diet as well. I figured if I noticed her getting skinnier by the reunion, she was doing it!
The diet is portion control but you also take meds and can get a shot once or twice a week to help with hunger, energy level, and water weight.
@Imnotthere I had a retarded lab too! The most beautiful yellow lab you ever set your eyes on. Fantastic in the woods – trained great to listen to a whistle. In the house or yard – another story completely. He ate the handle off my sliders, ate holes in my walls, at some of my rug and my flooring. He never ever stopped moving. He would pace all night long. I took him running every single day with me so he was getting 10+ miles a day plus a 2 mile walk in the morning. Then I would throw a tennis ball to him for a half an hour. I did this for 2 years and he never calmed down. He started nipping after my first was born and I decided I couldn’t risk it. We took him to 2 different trainers and finally to the guy who trains the dogs for the maine state police. He told us if it was him, he wouldn’t keep the dog as it was overbreed for looks and was a mix of an alpha and just stupid which can be a lethal combination. He had us get a Rx for ritalin for the dog until we found it a new home. My MIL use to work for Purina in western NY and she found someone with a large farm who was willing to take him. The dog ate all their lampshades the week they brought him home and broke the ladies leg a month later when she tried to walk him and he pulled her into a ditch. They stuck it out but he never calmed down.
We also had a cairn terrier but have a set of bald eagles in the area that were circling everyday! We had rescued her but I didn’t feel my kids needed to see wild america right in the front yard. A friend took her and we visit her.
Okay notwithoutmytv – I handed you some great material there – do what you do best.
I’m still laughing at Fat Back. I actually laughed when I read it too, but then I got really self-conscious because I’m such a bitch, that I felt bad and wrote a heartfelt sympathy note. LMAO! Damn you @notwithoutmytv, you win this round!
I just wanted to drop by and let everyone know I have a massive hangover, and Caroline’s chub feels like it landed on my head. @marijai – I’m heading your way for a hit -please let it be the good stuff! LOL.
BTW – I have a Dachshund-Dalmation hybrid who is like 4 feet long and 18″ high, who tried to jack a deer in my backyard last year. I’m not sure who looked more stunned, me or the deer. LOL.
I finally got to read the recap & scanned thru all the comments-I had to in order to warn up for tonight’s freak show! I don’t have anything else to add that’s relevant to the show, but every time I hear the name Astrid, I think of Jan’s baby on The Office. And how they misspelled it on the candies for the baby shower to read “Astird.”
Also-I would soooooo eat an Oreo-Bacon sandwich.
Now, let’s get ready to ruuuuuummmmmble!!! (In about 1-1/2 hours)
@chemgal and cheez…I am laughing so hard at your retarded dog/long dog stories that I’m crying. Boyfriend had a chocolate lab that ate a couch. He went out of town and left a friend to house sit. He left the house fully stocked with booze and food. All said friend had to do was stay with the dog. His condo was also across the street from the beach, so dude was set up. He left the dog alone and went out and when Boyfriend got home, the dog had eaten the couch cushions, gnawed off one of the legs, and chewed off an arm.
@Cheez…Whata ya think I am here, cheap? Only tha best in ma howse! Now see, ain’t I nice? I’ma nice person, ain’t I?!
Of course we got good stuff…we live in Cali where it’s legal!
ClassyDrunk I never thought about it, but you are right, Jill thought she could be like prison warden Caroline and run the NY housewives. It didn’t work though and she lost fans and her respectability. I wish Teresa and Joe end up in jail and then house arrest. They deserved to be punished, they committed perjury.
You all… Andrea Cohen is back Thursday after the RH of DC with Watch What Stupid Stuff Happens. Teresa G and Stacie from DC are staring. Andy should serve papers on Teresa for being OWNED>.
@sunshine – where do I sign up! I need one of those shots. My diet got shot out of the water today as my kids requested brownies for desert with ice cream and Breyer’s was on sale today at walmart.
Okay, our fave primate housewife is trending as I type at #4 on Yahoo trends. I clicked to see what is going on and found the headline “Teresa Guidice is a big fat liar!”. Well, most of us have figured that one out. Anyway, here is the blurb….
TERESA Giudice has been a VERY naughty lady!
According to reports, the Real Housewives of New Jersey star and her husband Joe are being accused of hiding $250,000 in assets when they first filed for bankruptcy in October 2009.
In court documents filed last week, lawyer Roberta A. DeAngelis alleges that in addition to the $250,000 advance Giudice received for her cookbook, Skinny Italian, the couple also failed to claim ownership of an online boutique called TG Fabulicious, as well as Joe’s 1601 Maple Avenue Associates, LLC.
Giudice — who is currently facing $11 million in debt from failed real estate ventures — vented about her situation in a July blog post.
“If you’ve ever been unfortunate enough to be involved in a legal situation, you know it’s a lot of back and forth between both sides. Right now, our bankruptcy trustee is trying to get an auction going, and our lawyer is objecting it,” she wrote. “Every day, there are new tactics used, stories circulated, and details ‘leaked’ to the press, but it’s all part of the legal wrangling. All I can do is rise above it, keep my head high, and know that at the end of the day, I have my family, my health, and I’m in God’s hands.”
Giudice recently revealed she felt “humiliated” when she was told by a lawyer that she and her husband were $11 million in debt.
“Joe thought things were going to get better,” Teresa told In Touch Weekly magazine.
“Me and my husband have learned a lot from our mistakes. It’s brought us closer together.”
Oh, and my captcha is YWKN…ya wacum!
It’s official, Danielle is leaving the show.
http://www.bravotv.com/blogs/the-dish/which-housewife-is-leaving-rhonj
I sincerely hope that Caroline didn’t have surgery for her weightloss. People don’t realize what a dramatic change that can be for the rest of their lives. And they have a higher health risks for the rest of their lives. She simply wasn’t fat enough for any ethical doctor to perform that surgery. Of course, it wouldn’t be too difficult for her to find a money grubbing doctor to do it anyway. But she has always seemed level headed and not vain like the others. I hope that she is on some sort of diet plan and is succeeding.
@Skatt – a much delayed thanks for the Bside blog link!!
Sugarbearly There: Many You’re Welcomes!! If you have time, go back through all his recaps. He does the funny, drawn-out captions under the screenshots in all his recaps.
Oh, and WTF? I didn’t watch hardly any of last night because of a Migraine. I tried listening for about 5 minutes, but these nimrods are the opposite of relaxing, so I turned it off. Roughly an hour later, I switch it back on and every one but Caroline has had a Come To Jesus moment.
Shame on you, Annabelle Cohen, Shame.
@skatt – the screeching was insane. Teresa really does belong in a fucking monkey house, and what is the DEAL with that squeal?? What a stupid affectation for a woman of her age to have – I hope and pray that hairy beast leaves the show. I hate all of them. But, I really, really…
HATE TERESA.
Bravo is showing it again tonight, so I’ll watch it (oh, the sacrifice!!) then. Why is Danielles’ leaving such a big deal on the web today? Wasn’t that determined weeks ago- or did they talk about it last night and that’s why?
I love that Teresa has the balls to “threaten” to quit because, among other things, Bravo took 10% of her book deal profits. *&%$#!!!! You mean the book deal you never would have in a million years gotten without them? I’ll bet you anything someone from Bravo negotiated that entire deal, start to finish.
You are a GREAT writer!! I love how you hit all the high points of this disaster. I also think the “pocket-felon” Danny needs some reunion air time…..that would be humorous.
@skatt – I went onto Amazon to see what the reviews of the cookbook included. there were a few Teresa fans who seemed to love it, but there were a lot of comments about the recipes not being so great and the fact that she used the book to put down people. Teresa seems to have become the Kate Gosselin of the RH franchise; the fame has really gone to her head. Although to be fair to Kate – she seems to be a better mother.
Well, I watched the repeat last night and Agatha did an even worse job this time around.
I can’t stand that Agnes put me in the position of, at least from the reunion standpoint, siding with Danielle. The other “ladies” were allowed to get away with the most ridiculous answers (Teresa: “I don’t like it when people touch me/ hold me back”) while Danielle, to her credit, didn’t take the Jacqueline route of acting like she was in the Jr. High lunchroom every time Danielle said something.
Would it have been asking to much to put Caroline on the spot, oh say, once? Caroline: Skatt from Gasmiiland,USA wants to know: What’s with the complete bullshit story line about Albie, after flunking out of Law School, getting a lawyer to help him “write a letter” to the School in order to get back in. Several Websites, including Abovethelaw.com said this was not normal practice and most felt you were just greasing the wheels to give the school a “donation”, one large enough to ensure your sons return. What is your response to this? And if you could, please incorporate the HEADCOCK into your answer.
Well, I didn’t believe it but I’m glad it happened….Danielle is gone! Although if given a choice between Danielle and Teresa leaving I’d vote to kick Teresa’s butt out the door. I hate Teresa!
@linda205–I heard/read somewhere, I think Robinz sent us a link, or one of the other fine gasmi did, that Tree may not be back next season either because she hates her SIL! That would make me happy! I hat the sound of her voice! I hate her in general!! Is it just me or do Danielle and Tree both talk in different voices??
Skatt from Gasmiiland,USA wants to know: Holy shit balls. Just the intro was enough to have me laughing – you could have asked anything!
Stealing from another poster from somewhere: Why does Caroline expect Danielle to just sit there and be called names ranging from clown, garbage to prostitution whore, but when Albie gets told simply that his grades are not good enough for law school, she bursts into tears and in interviews bemoans someone making her child feel like nothing? She may have raised some nice kids, but I don’t think any of them should ever feel the need to have a nobel prize acceptance speech ready.
Don’t know if anyone saw or posted this already, but Reality Blurred posted a link to the Juicy auction: http://www.realityblurred.com/realitytv/archives/the_real_housewives/2010_Sep_08_teresa_giudice_auction
There’s all the pictures & details-there’s online bidding people!! What I love is how Teresa is still feigning ignorance regarding the auction-what did she think was happening when the photographer was walking around their house? Oh wait, she probably convinced herself she was getting a spread in Better Homes & Gardens. If she really thought that she would have made her leopard-sheeted bed. And holy crap, there’s 2 huge mirrahs!! But sadly, only one urn, thank you Jacquie’s mom. Also, no kid-sized SUV.
Oops, my bad-the pictures are just the tip of the iceburg. The downloadable catalog lists everything, and I mean EVERYthing!! I at first felt bad seeing the things the kids will lose, since after all at this age they really are just victims of their parent’s awfulness. But then I realized this may be the best thing to ever happen to them. Then I also remembered Teresa $60K shopping spree. And I’m sure the family, including the Manzo/Lauritas, will most likely shower the kids with crap they don’t need to replace the things they didn’t need. Sigh. I’d be happy if someone gave me a $100 gift card to Target.
Prodigal Cheez, like you, once I calmed down, I decided to come back to the site I loved. I was thrilled to see you back on it! I saw that you set up a thread on the Forum; unfortunately my password is messed up and I cannot get it fixed no matter what I do, so I couldn’t post on it. BTW, it’s not true that I only post when I’m defending you – I have posted many times on the show itself. As I am now…
I can’t wait for the recap of the Reunion, Part 2. I am a big Caroline fan, and I thought she had Danielle up against the wall numerous times. Danielle is doing a lot of interviews right now talking about how she is going to get her own reality show. Fortunately, I don’t think that is going to happen – THANK GOD. Can you imagine? I do feel badly for her girls though. I’m sure her anger over being fired has made her an even more unstable mother than ever. Poor things.
Tvaholic: Come on now!! Teresa HAD to go on that shopping spree to replace the furniture that she didn’t know was going to be auctioned off. It’s so obvious.
Chemgal: I don’t know why Albie, or Caroline for that matter, is so stuck on the Law School thing, especially with Leia having made him such a generous offer to come west and work under her.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cUMHUBVWYw&feature=player_embedded
OMG…we got some funny folks on youtube doing their version of the reunion…
@skatt-(slaps forehead)Doh! How convenient for Teresa! I forgot about that! And here I worried they’d all be huddled around the island in the kitchen, bare light bulbs hanging, kids eating crumbs that fell out of the oven when it was taken away, Joe in his wife-beater, Tree in her velour pantsuit, both looking thru the classifieds for a job. And it would be an actual paper-since they would no longer have a computer-stolen from the neighbor’s driveway no doubt.
I so wish these reunions were like the very first OC one, where it was filmed after the season was over-at least I think it was. It was, right? And they were all just sitting around someone’s backyard?
Tvaholic: Good Lord!! I just read the Auction List. Why not just go for the gold and literally include the kitchen sink? They’ve got only one daughter that could really ride a bike, but seven bikes, not including the ATV. Who owns a “Hot Dog Cart”?(rhetorical question, really) But you can never have to many sconces, because these two have about 67,000(in fairness, I rounded up).
I’m sorry, but those two owning a telescope makes me giggle.
@tvaholic – a suit of armor? REALLY?? Gah!!!!!! If I had a weave it would be in chunks in the floor right about now.
All along I’ve been wanting to ask, ‘What made Albie, et al,think he should get some kind of an absolution for flunking out of law school?’ Excuse me, I did say flunk. It’s just a standard practice that another school is not going to accept a student whose been kicked out. And only a few lucky ones get the chance to apply after 2 years. Let alone, get in and graduate.
@skatt-you mean, you DON’T have a hot dog cart?? What else would you have with your homemade wine??
@linda-funny you say that-it reminded me that none of Teresa’a hair crap is on the auction block!! I guess even the auction knows some things were lucky to ever sell the first time around.
*meant to say “even the auction house knows” Gah, dese wummin make me talk stoopid!
@kate – with the password thing – if you request a new one, a message will be sent back to you. it may be in your spam so check. you have to click on the link they send and then recheck your inbox (and spam again) its after you click on the link in the first email that the new password will be sent.
I’m still catching up – but @katesmom – SOOOO glad you came back too!!!!
You’ve been posting forever, and you don’t have to explain a thing! 
I was about to stalk you through PM’s – so good timing! LOL.
@katesmom–they send you your password, but it does go into spam mail for some reason! I found that out the hard way! For a while I logged in with facebook and decided that wasn’t such a great idea anymore. Welcome back!!
I read the Bravo blogs today, and Jaq explained why she and Dani hugged it out…blah blah blah, who cares anymore, right? I was suprised to see that she thanked her plastic surgeon on having her boobie reduced and thanked another on for giving her medifast….maybe now she won’t look so un-preprotioned(sp?)!! Aparently Assley had a deviated septum, that is why bitch got a nose job..whatever, just get a job and a life!!
Can’t wait for the recap! I am interested in everyone’s thoughts… also looking forward to tomorrow’s DC eppi.
@tvaholic–they have a suit of armour?? WTF? Where has it beem hiding in all the epidodes??
I just took a gander at the latest roster of Giudice auction items. It really is sad that Tree’s in such denial. Maybe she’ll believe it when they’re asked to vacate for the day on Oct 3 and come back to an empty house. Couldn’t happen to a more selfish, mean, classless bitch!
That shit is so tacky, but I’m sure Tree thinks it’s the most bee-u-ty ful stuff ever. I hope Grandma Kim G does buy it all up and auction it off on Ebay for charity!
I’m baaaaack! The last few days were extra long as my bb conked out, no web access, and no tv. My family had an outdoor fish fry for labor day..a steel trough connected to a propane tank, holding a gallon of heated corn oil and frying about 50-60 croakers, porgies, and whitings. But all i could think of was ‘it’s Monday, I’am at my aunt’s house, and she has satellite cable!’ So, under the guise of needing a quiet place to feed my youngin’, I went inside to watch the 2nd part of the reunion. And I can’t wait for the new recap to dish!
But i will say this: @Skatt – you’re so right about Alistair not putting Caroline on the spot. She has this holier-than-thou attitude and deserves to be knocked down a few pegs, especially since her hypocrisy is so evident. She is not the boss of anyone..she just talks shit over everyone, and thinks she’s the voice of reason because no one wants to argue with her. Truth be told, the whole Danielle drama is her fault. If they would’ve flashbacked to the finale (Sn. 1), where she told Danielle, “Look at me. because i’m the one who brought the book into Chateau.” Well, that was what the whole drama was about wasn’t it? Danielle feels like she was slandered all over her town about something that no one else knew about until Caroline showed the book around, ostracized from her castmates based on her past..and all of this was caroline’s doing! So for C to act so above it all, like she had no hand in any of it and she was just stepping in as a mediator is just BS.
I wouldn’t be surprised if she got the lap band surgery like the blind item hinted. She is only 5’1″ and mostly they don’t go by weight to determine eligibility, they go by the BMI (body mass index)..and she definitely had a large percentage of fat. That’s probably why she doesn’t look good thin..she looks a bit haggard, a bit rough. like she is missing key nutrients. Even Andy didn’t tell her she looked great, he just said she ‘looks…different.’ Ouch.
Um…did Jacqueline get more lip injections? She could barely move her upper lip and her face always looks like she’s frowning when she tries to smile. If she keeps it up, she’s gonna turn into Lynn Curtin..no bueno.
@Skatt from Gasmiland: When you approach Caroline, can you ask her how she deserves mother of the year when her kids have no ambition, and the only one who does is quasi-illiterate and has ADD to boot? Definitely, in the running for public defender.
“Ladies and Gentleman of the jury, we are gathered here today because- nice robe, judge- my client has been accused of – gosh it’s hot in here. or is it just me? Anyway, as i was saying when I stood up and walked over to yous was that…that..um,.. my client? yea, he has been accused of.. stuff. Stuff he did not do and it is all outlined here on this sheet which I cannot read to you but will pass out for your perusal. Just know that he did not do it, okay? Stenographer, you’ll get a copy too, ‘kay? Read it thru and -(take one and pass it to the left) – then all you gotta do is vote Not Guilty. That’s all folks!”
so, I feel bad about the auction. I would feel bad for anyone really. And then I stopped myself and remembered how much Teresa pissed me off shopping this season in the face of the American economy taking a trip to the dumpster.And obviously she wasn’t helping the situation but adding to the crapper. this family ripped off so many people. F U Teresa.
@Giffordsaz I agree.Remember when she was late,yet again,for a lunch with Carolyin and Jaquelyin and her excuse was that she needed to stop at a store and get a new jacket? This was after she had declared BR.C&J had a look of disapointment when she told them.
I think the chick was making a statement then.She was saying to everyone you can’t tell me when I can or can’t spend other people’s money.She was still working on the “fresh start” agenda.She had just filed bankruptcy and was already buying a figgin coat to match her shirt.Fresh start and all.
TC,Robin
Did anyone else’s local paper run this article? It showed up in mine yesterday but I could only find it online from the original source, dated the 6th:
http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/10249/1084979-67.stm
It’s about how some businesses actually want the RHONJ to shoot at their places for the free PR. And most interesting is that Tree & Joe’s hotel & meal were comped by Westin. Sadly, Kim D. can no longer serve booze at Posche-how in the hell will she get “woman” to buy chinchilla shrugs now?
@Alison-I particularly liked Jacq’s Bravo blog when she talked about putting out the fire under her ass, or something like that. Ha! Maybe that’s why she sat on the couch so still for so long, she was having some “issues,” shall we say?
Chemgal and Alison – thanks for the advice on the password – I’ll try it again! Prodigal Cheez – I’m out on week-long business trips A LOT, so I go for long periods without being to read/post. It sure is fun to come back and catch up though!
Alison – I read Jaq’s blog about Ashley’s deviated septum, too. Why can’t they ever tell the truth? It was obvious Ashley has low self esteem and felt ugly. I hope this helps her. Now she just needs a personality transplant.
AlisonZ: Why is it that assholes always have to go the “deviated septum” route, but the normal not insane ones can just say: “I want this to be smaller”/”cut this shit off”(my friends personal instructions-not the entire nose, just the bump). Although, in fairness to Assley, if ever there was a nasally voice signaling a possible problem, girlfriend had it.
HEY, are there any before and after of Assley’s nose out there?
@alison z – I think they never showed the suit of armor cuz maybe that’s where Juicy and Tree hid when bill collectors came calling.
I think maybe I need to bid on the hot dog cart. I have an old gum ball machine and I could place the two items in my foyer (doorway with tile flooring) to show my taste and class.
I hate Teresa and she really does suck. She says so.
@skatt I think I’ve shared this story so excuse me and give me a “bless her heart”. I broke my nose twice in high school and finally decided to get it fixed. I follow all the steps needed by my insurance company to make sure I really have a deviated septum and not trying to just get a paid for nose job. I go to my primary care, who send me to an ENT, who sends me to a plastic surgeon. The plastic surgeon must not ever read his charts and must think he can “spot” and diagnose on first sight. He walks in and says “so you must be here for lips and breasts”. When I told him no, deviated septum, he doesn’t blink, doesn’t apologize, but rather offers to throw the lip work in for free since I’ll be under anyway!
@ chemgal, because of your avatar I always picture you on the phone with rollers typing away while a child is pulling at your bathrobe.
I always picture Giff playing the clarinet in her spare time.
I have not had the pleasure of watching this week’s episode, but I really can’t wait to see Watch what Happens Live. I am sure people were busting Andy’s balls because he got man handled by a wummin, so his reaction to that is probably going to be priceless. I also want to see how things are going to play out with the rumors that Teresa is leaving. JUICY GOSSIP!!!
Chemgal: You mean you didn’t just get your former cocktail waitress Mother to marry a Jersey Boy, then once she was on her reality show, bide your time until the plastic surgery offers came flying at-cha? It just seems you took such a long and difficult route.
Judging from those picture from that tvfanatic link someone posted, this is Jacquelines’ second nose we’re seeing. The first was- different.
@skatt, I could totes beleive that! But she got rid of the boobies! Now what is Chris going to do?? Man I wish some one would fix mine for free! That 105 pounds that I lost-with no surgery- did a number on me! It left everywhere except for the little bit on my middle…
@katesmom, you crack me up! Tree and Joe were hiding in it when the Bill collectors came!! I am thinking that is where they hid the extra cash on hand! Just lift up his little facemask and drop in a bundle of hundreds-no one would ever know! Well except for maybe TPO, poor little thing never gets to talk!
@chemgal-my little 4 year old cousin his having his deviated septum fixed today, and his tonsels removed, poor little guy snores, has sleep apnea and hasn’t stopped drooling…
I just dont get why people what to change their faces…It what God gave you, all that stuff that they inject…yuck! Now if there was a remedy for the stretch marks, I would totally do that, that cream that is on the market, what a waste of money