Error: Twitter did not respond. Please wait a few minutes and refresh this page.
I’m looking for words to describe this insane season and I’m going to have to go with Ramona and how she described her feelings when she saw the rotunda at The Pierre where her vow renewals were about to take place- over the top.
I thought that this would be one long bicker fest, not out and out warfare, and certainly not Jill Zarin’s Gollum-like shenanigans taking place in real life in real time. It’s strange too, to see this season wind down during the usually festive holidays, and I sure could have used some 80 proof egg nog. I think I’m scarred for life. Damn you Miss Andy, damn you to Hell, or a low rent part of The Hamptons. Whichever’s worse.
I keed, I keed! I love Miss Andy and I love The Pierre Hotel where we visit with Ramona and her wedding planner Roberta. Ah, Roberta.
She’s proof that New York has everything, even wedding planners that speak Alien. I’m sure that she’s happy to be on television advertising her business, and isn’t it funny that Ramona didn’t use Jen’s party planning business Save the Date? Can’t say that I blame her. It would have only invited comparisons from Jill and God knows we don’t need any more of that tripe.
Every square inch of the hotel is embellished to the hilt. It’s like Louis XIV gave Fragonard a blotter of acid and set him loose in one of his castles for a year or two.
Oh well, at least we know that Leather will enjoy it, not because she does drugs or anything. Because it’s so uh-may-zing, like the mostest incredible hotel in the universe. Almost as phenomenally top notch as one of Gilles Bensimon’s farts. It’s right up there with eating Gummy Berries with Playboy interviewers after a rough day researching bikinis on Google Images.
Ramona is positively jumping out of her skin with glee and can you blame her? Most people’s first weddings aren’t even half as richly festooned as this joint. Ramona won’t even need decorations, the sly fox. Always saving money, that one.
By the way, what’s a Taj Hotel? That’s the name of the conglomerate that owns The Pierre. Lemme go Google THAT. Okay, it’s a company of 5 Star hotels based out of India. You know, little palaces in Dubai and the Maldives that would take one look at how I dressed last week at Bonnaroo and throw me out onto the street on my hippie skirted ass. I couldn’t afford a kleenex box in one of these joints, let alone a night’s stay. You probably have to have a college degree to clean the toilets there, so Kadooz to you, Ramona. I hope Jill is green with envy!
What Jill isn’t on this fine morning, is her usual dauntless uppity self. She’s walking down the street to her lunch with Bethenny taking mincing little steps and holding her jacket protectively under her chin, trying to stave off the chill.
It’s odd. She looks so small skittering her way into the restaurant, and so harmless. How did such mayhem come from such a little fish in a big pond? If you or I passed her on 3rd Avenue we wouldn’t look twice or even remember what she looked like. I’m reminded of the first season when she called herself a “connector.” And it’s never been more obvious that she doesn’t DO anything. She just knows people who do.
At any rate, Bethenny arrives to much ado about the baby bump and then Jill asks what happened to them and says that she feels like they’re in a separation like a fighting married couple. Bethenny tells her that divorce can be ugly and Jill looks off to the side as she digests that little tidbit. Kinda final, huh? Not quite what she was expecting her to say, that’s for sure.
Here comes the non-apology.
Why bother? Why say you’re sorry for not being ready to talk when you were at Ramona’s and feeling bad because you held a grudge? That is no apology, young lady and if I tried to pull that crap at your emotional age, which I assume is 12, my mother would have grabbed my arm and said slowly but pointedly, “Try that again, sweetie. Once again, with FEELING.”
Miss B isn’t falling for it and why would Jill expect her to? She must be used to getting away with this shit all the time. Plus, if she really and truly knew Bethenny she would have been way more sincere. it’s sad, and Bethenny starts crying when she recounts what a shitty 6 months she had, with no Jill support in sight. And I’m sorry, falling in love, getting pregnant, becoming hugely famous AND having your father die kinda trumps Bawby’s thyroid cancer.
BY A LONG SHOT, as Papa Frankel would have probably said.
Bethenny tells her that she had Alex and Ramona to help her through it all and Jill says she’s glad, oh so glad to hear it. Umm hmm. Almost as glad as she was to attend parties all summer while Bawby was cut ear to ear.
But Bethenny isn’t done yet. How she delivers this next bit about trusting Jill and then finding her to be disloyal without flipping a table is beyond me. She is being way too kind, but she didn’t know the half of it yet, now did she? If she did she’d be way more like she was when she called LuLu a snake, pregnant or not.
One thing that I did find to be weird was Bethenny saying that she couldn’t move forward from the situation because she’s been so damaged by what’s happened between them. Damaged? Am I splitting hairs here, or does that seem a bit exaggerated? Pissed? Sure. Dissappointed- Hell yeah. Damaged? Jill didn’t beat you, for goodness sakes but maybe it’s the abandonment thing, like what she went through with her parents. I don’t know so I’ll shut up about it. She has every right to feel however she wants to after what she’s been through.
Oh, and did you know that Jill was Bethenny’s biggest cheerleader? She can’t speak for any of the others but she never gossips about Bethenny. Oh no. She just writes one star reviews for her books on Amazon and acts as a vicious Bethenny bashing anonymous source to Daily News gossip reporters.
Then she cries because she feels so guilty about her participation in this mess. Oh, honey. It’s okay. We all know why you’re really sad. It’s because you aren’t the center of the RHONY franchise anymore. Your little plan to make Bethenny look bad backfired and you’re just beginning to realize it.
She tells Bethenny that she doesn’t wish her any ill will and Bethenny looks completely unfazed. Then Jill interviews that there’s no reason for her to cut her out of her life and it’s my turn to look completely unfazed.
Nothing that comes out of this woman’s mouth surprises me anymore. Nothing. She’s a lying MACHINE. She’s third level Cyborg impregnable teflon dissimulation. She’s taken falsification to previously undiscovered levels of whopperdom. Hey, maybe that should be her next endorsement. She can be a brand rep for Burger King!
And she’ll never have to complain about there not being enough food ever again!
Jill asks if they can have any kind of friendship at this point and Bethenny doesn’t really answer. She takes the latkes that Jill made for her with her own two hands out of old potatoes and Ginger’s tears and starts looking for the exits. Not so fast, it’s time to explain to Jill why everyone’s fighting with her and watch her ignore your reasons.
It’s too perfect. tell Jill that she starts fights and drama and then refuses to deal with the residual damage and then watch her say, “I’m not perfect,” as she refuses to deal with the residual damage. “I guess that’s just my personality,” is as rich as Ramona saying that she tells it likes it is as an excuse to say mean things. Nobody’s buying it anymore.
Bethenny’s right. Normal people learn and evolve. Why is Jill so emotionally stunted? Oh well. I don’t care anymore. I have more sympathy for her as I do for the spider in the sawdust I just sucked up with my shop vac yesterday. I don’t even care enough to hate. I get more pissed when i get outbid on ebay.
I have a confession to make. I totally laughed when Jill covered her face with the napkin so we couldn’t see her tears.
Napkin PR 102. You wear it well.
That lasted about five seconds and bam! back to being pissed at the dumbass for saying that she needs a filter in her life. Not on her lying mouth but on the toxic people like Alex in her life. Alex? Alex?? She’s the baby shampoo of friends. She’s less harmful than a black velvet painting of kittens. She’s the Bambi in a world full of hunters. Calling her toxic will get you a straight jacket in a rational world, but this is ‘reality.’ If Leather’s running around free….you know.
Bethenny’s all “Huh?” and then she remembers that Jill called her toxic too and makes one of the goofiest chipmunk expressions ever.
Holy toxicity, Jill Zarin! How do I un-fubar my flabbergasted face? Never mind. It was just one of last year’s peanuts in my cheek.
Calling you toxic is Jill’s catch-all for badmouthing people. No reasoning, no logic, she just declares that someone’s toxic and expects you to believe it.
“Hey Bethenny, there’s a fairy on your shoulder. Oops, too slow. it flew away.”
They tell each other to be happy, at least until there’s something new for Jill to be jealous about and then she asks if they can get together again after the holidays. STILL no answer from Bethenny. What the? Annoying. All we get is Jill saying that she thinks that she can be a better friend now. Just not to people. Or animals. Or anything with a pulse. I bet she’s a super swell chum to her Diamond Saks card and photogs on the old Step and Repeat, though. See ya there, old buddy, old pal!
Nobody cares what a bitch she’s become. She’ll still get invites to parties because she knows people with no conscience, just like she knows people with no ear drums, like every single person at LuLu’s disco coming out party. I had to laugh when I saw the limo pull up to the club with all of the producer boy’s rented friends that LuLu tries to pass off as his entourage.
Please! Nobody sends their entourage to the firing squad!
These are chicks that were promised free drinks in exchange for dancing to LuLu’s oddly catchy white woman classy rapping. Oh, how I wish it were produced by Suge Knight or some big thug. I would love to picture her as his side piece or owing favors to his entire posse. Sex tape, anyone? Gang bangers need love too.
Quit giving it away for free to Eurotrash!
Don’t you love Jill’s purse? She bought one with actual lit up neon piping cuz she’s so classy. It’s cold and blue just like her heart. She probably uses it as a flashlight when she goes looking for her soul after spending her evenings in clubs and over priced restaurants. I bet it comes in handy. She seems to be losing that pesky soul quite a bit lately. It’s a good thing she was born a sociopath or she’d never get off her knees looking for that annoying morality too.
Let me know if you find LuLu’s virtue while you’re at it.
She tells Jen and LuLu about her lunch with Bethenny, spinning it to seem as though she told Bethenny tough shit, take me or leave me because this is who I am, leaving out all that crying and feeling bad for ‘holding grudges.’
It’s okay because tonight LuLu is living out her dream to be a music sensation, a rising star in the same vein as Kim Zolziak and Disco Duck. I also thought for a split second that I saw Jill’s gay husband Brad wearing one of his pink blazers in the background. It’s kinda blurry, but here it is-
I’m not sure if that is him or not but I do find it funny that there’s a guy there wearing a t-shirt with the exact amount of busboys and bellhops LuLu and Sonja have seduced between them since their individual divorces.
And 1,978 is a conservative estimate. Just ask any waiter in the tri-state area.
The French David Schwimmer arrives and LuLu shows her boy toy off to all the girls like he was freaking Gaspard Ulliel or something instead of a slightly less douchey Adrien Brody.
Younger isn’t always better.
He’s very nice when introduced to Jill and someone has to stick a pin into old Leathery Lollipop to get her to stand up while being introduced. She was just sitting her ass down on the divan staring at everyone else’s asses as they were saying hello to him.
“Why should I get up? He’s already taken.”
Jen says something about nothing, who cares, and Jill butts in to ask LuLu if she invited Alex, and then acts all disgusted that she didn’t come. Why should she come? She has two boys under the age of six at home and was told at Saks that LuLu wanted her nowhere near her home. Uh, duh.
Ramona and Bethenny didn’t come either. They didn’t have time to rush out and buy bleach for their eardrums so they decided to stay home and listen to tapes of cats fucking instead. Or those damn horns they blow during the World Cup games in South Africa, I don’t know which is worse.
I must say that I thoroughly enjoyed LuLu’s performance though. It was full of high classy spoken word etiquette and jazz hand flourishes that would make Sweet Charity proud. She spreads her legs on stage like she’s getting ready to ride her horsey Frenchman through the Hamptons Polo grounds or straddle Sonja’s bidet.
Tres chic, mon amis! Tres chic!
She opens that big noble mouth of hers nice and wide like she’s waiting for all the sycophants around her to drop grapes into it and then grinds her hips with a herky jerky motion like she’s making butter for all of Manhattan.
Elegance is churned, my friend.
All too soon, the performance is over and our LuLu is feeling pretty damn fabulous. She can barely shut her trap and darts her head all over the place like she’s in a Vidal Sassoon commercial from the late 70s. Hmmm. What could that be about? She seems kinda peppy and perky. Maybe she just drank a lot of Pepsi.
Two ridiculously dumb comments that you cannot make up- first, Jill explains to Kelly that you can be born rich but you can’t learn elegance, completely making nonsense of the song and looking like an idiot. Second, Jen interviews that LuLu’s song wasn’t Rock & Roll Hall of fame worthy but it was reminiscent of early Madonna…….who is in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. GONG!!!!! Get off the stage!
Chuck Barris said so, twit!
The girls are standing around talking about whether or not Jill should go to Ramona’s renewal ceremony and all that RC Cola LuLu’s been sucking down makes her spew more crap about how she shouldn’t since she was turned away from her home after being invited *another eye roll x infinity* when Sonja finally tells her to shut her pie hole since she wasn’t even there.
Thank you Sonja! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
LuLu gestures wildly that Sonja’s is right, she should zip it, and goes back to grinding her teeth and searching for stray white particles in the dollar bills patrons have left as tips on the tables around her.
Okay. Let’s rehash this nonsense one more time and move on. Sonja is right. Jill was invited for a five day bachelorette vacation, not a one day AMBUSH. She didn’t even know their plans, didn’t care to know and didn’t call. You don’t change someone’s plans on them! That is beyond rude! You are basically telling someone that their feelings don’t matter. And then to turn around and blame it all on Alex for hyperventilating in her presence is beyond forgiveness.
I know that some would argue that Alex is boring so who cares, but I’ve grown to feel almost irrationally protective of her. I know that she can hold her own in most situations but when it comes to Jill and her systematic bullying, I just want to play bodyguard and punch Jill in the nose every single time she tries to pull that shit. I want it to get so bad that all I have to do is lift my fist and Jill will flinch and shut up, like when you train a really naughty puppy, you know? Argh!
LuLu’s got the attention span of a gnat when the topic isn’t herself so she changes the subject and wants everybody to party!
“And since my producer invited all of you, I assume that he’s buying the coke. Where is the little bugger…”
From the bright flashing lights of La Pomme to the beige blah-dom of Bethenny’s apartment, we join her with Jason and the assistant packing up for the move to a bigger, hopefully more colorful place in Soho. They bicker a bit over Bethenny’s many jars and Jason’s autographed basketball being displayed, surrounded by an ocean of taupe.
“You see that beige? Martha Stewart wishes she had that beige, the dumb drag queen.”
Is she one of those crazy anal anti-clutter people who don’t even like vases or more than one picture on the wall because they hate to dust? Whatever, I guess we’ll find out on her new show. All that really matters is that she’s leaving the Upper East Side and Jill Zarin’s neck of the woods forever. I’ll drink to that!
It’s funny. Miss B’s apartment didn’t look any different while it was being packed up than it did before. It’s like she was living in one of those residential inns with the tiny living room and kitchenette. No personality. None.
You know what else amazes me? How in Manhattan the shops and salons are so much bigger than people’s homes. It’s the complete opposite in the suburbs and the only person who truly has a huge place is Ramona. Thumb to nose at you, Jill Zarin.
Ramona and Avery are getting their hair done by Oscar Blandi in one of those huge salons so wonder no more why haircuts cost so much in New York. Add up a year’s rent and you have yourself a nice cottage in Montauk.
They are so cute together and look like sisters with their heads back getting their hair shampooed. Wow, if I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a hundred times- Ramona has some good ageless genes. I don’t care what she’s had done. She looks 35, at the most.
Later on Ramona is getting her make-up done at her suite in The Pierre when who should show up but Jill. Surprise! It was supposed to be Sonja knocking on the door for the pre-re-nuptual pep talk but somehow Jill talked her into letting her take her place.
Call it damage control if you like but Jill walks in doling out the compliments and sporting a Snooki poof. That’s right, a Snooki bump-it poof. AND a tote bag with her own freaking face on it. Oh my God, if she ever calls anyone tacky ever again I am going to scream.
Jill tells Ramona that she will always be there for the important stuff as Ramona checks her watch. Hahaha! Love it. They chat a bit about the awkward situation Jill created in St. John and Ramona very gently tells her that she needs to try to see things from other people’s point of view (okay Ms. Tell It Like It Is) and Jill kinda agrees. As if. We all know that this is lip service. Jill does what Jill wants to do. You can’t force her to be a better person! She has to want to be one, and so far she hasn’t acted like she does. She acts like she has to pretend to change.
She blows Ramona kisses as she leaves and then something almost as hideous as Jill’s black heart comes into view, the cake. It’s freaking camel and pewter!
Who picked these colors out, Bethenny’s decorator?
I know it’s supposed to be silver and gold. I know it’s supposed to be a cake. Sadly, all I can think of when I look at it is Sheree’s hideous purse cake from season one of Atlanta. Call me old fashioned but I like my cakes round and with whipped frosting, not shaped like guitars or women’s torsos with frosting that looks like Playdoh. These Ace of Cakes style creations look like they’ve been spray painted and poured into concrete forms like footers.
Alex and Simon arrive and both very politely say hello to Jill. I got a wee thrill when Jill had to vamoose because she was blocking the shots that the photographers were trying to get of Silex. Ha Ha!
Yeah Jill, Alex is SUCH a nobody.
Then Jill has the nerve to say that she went over to say hello to them when it was clear to me that they went over to HER. Woman, those big clunky things those guys are carrying with the red light next to the round glass thingy? it’s called a camera and it’s recording your every move. Quit lying.
I love Sonja. Bethenny tells her that she looks sexy in her low cut dress and she tells her that it’s only sexy because it’s old and tight now. LOVE her.
LOOOOOOVE HER. Bravo, please drop LuLu, Jill and Leather and pick up a couple more Sonja’s, please? Hell, add her psychic and her plastic surgeon and just follow her and Ramona around South Hampton and I’ll be happy. Let Jill make some cameos doing the step-and-repeat at third rate parties sponsored by fifth rate booze and the grand opening of a new Filene’s in Levittown.
Sonja also earns a special place in my heart by pointing out to Bethenny that her dress is made out of feathers, and no, birds don’t go down to the local feather bank and decide to donate them in exchange for a few worms. THEY DIE. People kill them and pull the quills out. PETA is not going to be happy. Oopsy, not exactly in keeping with that whole ‘I’d Rather Be Naked Than…’ thing. It’s not like our feathered friends go around shaving themselves like we humans do.
“What? The salesgirl told me these were from Brazillian blackbirds.”
Let’s not forget about Leather and her hypocrisy. You see, she wasn’t going to attend Ramona and Mario’s ceremony because the whole idea of celebrating your marriage on your 17th anniversary is SO concocted. You know, it’s SO inauthentic unlike jogging in traffic or dropping your ex husband’s name for no reason or pretending to date Eurotrash named Max. No, she decided to go to prove that she isn’t judgemental.
Just mental, I guess.
You know what would be poetic justice for this dumb snooty bitch? If Ramona told her that they decided to renew their vows on the 17th anniversary because one of them was sick and might not make it to 20, or 17 was a special number to Ramona’s dead mother or, how about this? They made it to 17 years, unlike any of you women, so shut it.
For once I agree with what LuLu said at the Saks party. You can think whatever you want, even whisper it among friends, but don’t SAY IT. I understand that she too doesn’t know how cameras work but come on. Calling what Ramona does ‘random’ is rich coming from a woman that thinks that mongramed tote bags are harbingers of doom.
Jill tells her to fix her boobs since they’re all wonky in her strapless dress. Go figure. She wants Jill to tell her that she looks sexy for once, even though she wears skirts up to her hoo-ha every single day. I’ll tell you that you’re sexy, Kelly. You are as sexy as that straw you feed your horses after it’s been masticated and finished traveling through it’s digestive tract.
Meanwhile Mario is upstairs writing his vows down at the last minute. Wow. That’s some balls!
‘Ramona, please don’t kill me. Ramona, please don’t kill me with your crazy eyes….but feel free to do what you will with Jill….’
Ramona tells him not to fret over it too much since she knows that he loves her then SHE flips out because she misplaced her notes again. What does Mario the comedian tell her? Not to fret because he knows that she loves him. Smart-ass. I think he’s related to Mr. McSlore.
Downstairs, everyone is gossiping over this and that. Alex politely tells LuLu that she’s sorry she missed the big party for the little ditty along with the chance to speak French with Jacques and then Bethenny tells them rather succinctly that her lunch with Jill gave her some closure. Done.
You gotta love the editing because the next scene they show is of Jill telling Jen and Leather that the lunch was fine, nothing really, no big deal. There she goes spinning the truth again but we’re saved by leather blurting out that Ramona doesn’t know that she’s there. She didn’t RSVP. She just showed up! W! T! F!
Okay. I know that this is just a renewal but you NEVER go to anything EVER if it says RSVP on the invite and you don’t RSVP. I realize that dinner probably doesn’t consist of lollipops or candy of any kind but still. Party planners need a head count. If just six people do what Kelly did it throws off the numbers.
But Leather’s excuse is that she forgot. LIE. How inauthentic, and then she says that she wanted to be the bigger person AGAIN by showing up. I think we can all agree that she can go back to obscurity and take Jill and Jen with her, huh?
Why Jen? What has she done, you ask? Let’s get to that.
Jill is bitching about the food again, going on and on about how hungry she is since it’s been a whole hour and no one has passed out any pigs in blankets or Cheez-Whiz on a Ritz to her. Instead of telling her to shut her ungrateful mouth Jen takes a swig of her Champagne and then critiques the soiree for serving alcohol before the ceremony since people get loud and don’t know that other guests can hear their embarrassing remarks.
Roberta, the party planner, chooses this precise moment to walk up and tell them that it’s time to be seated. Jen takes one look at her and loudly insults her to Leather by asking who on earth would want such a creature to plan their wedding. The woman is standing literally two feet from her. Gross. Somebody cut her off PLEASE.
Preferably at the knees.
There’s another cute moment with Ramona and Avery looking at each other in the mirror. Ramona tears up because Avery is becoming a woman right before her very eyes and Avery doesn’t act embarrassed by her mom. She just tells her that she loves her and now I’M getting teary. Aw, geez
We’ve all been there. I can remember how incredibly mortified I would be when some elderly aunt or worse, uncle, would point out that I was turning into quite the little lady. My mother, thank God, never did that. She was too busy smacking my smart mouth or aiming wooden spoons at my brothers’ heads.
The sweetness doesn’t last long and they argue over whether the dog should be leashed for it’s trip down the stairs or held by Avery and Avery wins the argument. They all agree to leash Ramona instead.
What?! It’s from the Spring line of True Faith jewelry! It’s called product placement, people!
Anyway, everyone is seated and Jill is still running her damn mouth about how the two sides of the aisle are like two different teams and it’s that old Team Jill bullshit that Alex remarks started way back during Labor Day weekend, oddly enough. Yep, earlier really and oddly enough team Jill has lost quite a few members since then. Everyone has left in droves. It’s as if she got halitosis B.O. and beer farts all at once in the school cafeteria and only the most desperate students that smell just as bad have stuck by her.
None of that matters though. Mario comes out looking great, then Avery and CoCo, followed by Ramona who glances lovingly at Mario all the way down the staircase. She looks great and Jill takes pictures wondering what she can do next year to top this.
The dud, I mean dude, officiating the ceremony tells a story more befitting a reception toast from the best man. It’s that old story about Mario falling in love with Ramona’s ass at the gym. Leather grimaces which I have another name for, of course.
I had to get a last one in. You know me, Gasmii. In contrast Sonja is chuckling, and then everyone gets serious as Ramona reads her vows. It’s very Ramona, and she says that she honestly didn’t know if they were going to make it for the long haul when they first got married and that she loves him more than ever for not trying to control her and treating her like an equal.
Awww. She did good. I thought that it was going to be more business-like but then she says that she’s going to love him forever and the crazy eyed look is back. You better love her forever too, Mario. Seriously.
She looks like she’ll cut your balls off if you don’t.
Mario’s vows are short but sweet. He calls her his ray of sunshine and his rock and takes the easy way out by actually repeating the wedding vows he spoke to her in front of the priest 17 years earlier. Cheater! That’s what happens when you wait until the last minute. It was very nice though and plenty of people in the audience snivel and get touched by the emotion. Who doesn’t get teary at these things?
Even Jill looks choked up. Orange like Snooki after a month on the equator but still, choked up.
At the reception Leather gives Ramona a gift of the photographs she took during her only sane moment in St. John. I didn’t get a really good look at them which is just as well. They look like snapshots in any vacation photo album.
And just as poorly centered.
Simon is busy gulping down all the booze and showing off his lopsided kilt. LuLu asks where the other half of his “skirt” is and he tells her, “Half a skirt, half a man darling,” obviously making fun of his Bravo reputation as the sixth housewife. LuLu tells some guy that she doesn’t know what that means. I’ll let her know.
It means he’s silly and interesting and you’re not. Got it?
The evening winds down even more with Bethenny telling Alex and Ramona how grateful she is for all the support they’ve shown her this season, tears in her eyes and
How gauche, My Love!
Simon acts a fool and Alex tries to tell Jill that she’s glad she came, only to get the cold shoulder from her. Jill’s improving, Gasmii! Right before our eyes! She didn’t say “How dare you speak to me,” or run off to a pantry or anything! She was politely rude. Baby steps, baby steps.
And with that the season is over, LuLu sings her song for all the guests and we brush a tear from our collective cheeks, wait for the final update blurbs and hope that the RHONY producers have as much of a sense of humor as the O.C. ones did. Not so much. Let’s make up for it, shall we? Or at least try. You all are welcome, encouraged even, to leave your predictions in the comments.
Shit, c’est la vie.
You think Mario was pissed? Puh-lease. That was probably the only way Ramona could get him to do it in the first place.
Yep, she’s still writing it. She’s in what we writers refer to as the ‘research phase.’
Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!! The next time I see you there better be bars or a cage involved.
Big meanie. Apologize to Jill or I’m gonna sneak Simon some 151 rum and a Borat mankini at your next book signing.
Bawby mortgaged the hideous condo so he could buy up all Jill’s books on Amazon and Ally has moved to Greenland and started a support group for the daughters of reality narcissists. As far as I know, Jill is still clinging to that ice floe that Lynn from Chicago put her on, just a skeleton in a skating dress clutching her book after her Anchorage appearance at Border’s got cancelled and no one told her.
Oh my God. Bethenny has her own show?! How come none of you bitches told me?!
Let’s toast with the hoes and pray that we get some new blood next year. How about a real model or singer or a lesbian, or a lesbian model/singer? make it happen Miss Andy!
See you at the reunion!
Love and Kisses,