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Tuesday, May 10, 2011
12:25 pm
24 Comments
Tagged: bbitz, burn this, cindy, empty apologies, firemen, frantasia, funny, honey badger, jill, kelly, luann, new york, pinot grigio, ramona, real housewives, real housewives of nyc, recap, snark, sonja, summary, tvgasm
Hello Gasmi! Welcome back to the Real Housewives of NYC! Aside from Sonja eating shit after barebacking a horse, last week’s episode was a bore. So let’s hope things liven up a little. Although I can’t imagine how they could…
AHHHH!!!! THEY RELEASED THE KRAKEN YET AGAIN!!! SAVE YOURSELVES!!!
The bitch is back and she’s come to lunch on – sorry, “with” LuAnn, Kelly and Sonja. She’s back from her trip to Australia. What was she doing there? I don’t know, BUT she was recently spotted in the audience of one of Oprah’s shows. OPRAH was just in AUSTRALIA. As was JILL. Conspiracy theorists unite! I bet they totally met down under while on walkabout.
Jill starts out by saying she has presents for everyone. OMG. I hope it’s a kangaroo, a boomerang they can use to take Alex out, a nose job for herself (see: rumors!) or maybe Jlll brought back Paul Hogan…
“That bitch had a knife that was bigger than mine! Sadly, she had to take it out of Bethenny’s back first.”
Awww she brought everyone little Koala clips instead. How… cheap. I thought for sure Sonja would throw it back at her and demand to be taken to lunch… again. Because right after this lunch, SHE NEEDS MORE LUNCH!
Jill said that while down undah she decided she didn’t want to gossip any longer. Girl came to the WRONG ladies luncheon then! LuAnn immediately starts to dish about the ongoing “cigar drama” between Ramona, Cindy and Howie. Jill isn’t surprised that Ramona started shit because “she leaves dead bodies all over town!” Ladies and gentlemen, let’s go to the “Jill “No More Gossiping” Countdown Clock!!!
That’s right folks! It took her 2 minutes and 3 seconds after saying she didn’t want to gossip to accuse Ramona of laying waste to people! The sad part is, she speaks the truth.
Kelly then dishes that Ramona sent her a “threatening drunk text” while Sonja inquires about Kelly’s upcoming lunch with Ramona. I love that Sonja’s all nosey about the lunch. I swear it’s because she’s pissed she’s missing out on a “lunch”. This bitch is more concerned with her next meal than the entire membership of AARP.
The girls all decide it’s best to give Kelly a dry-run by having Sonja pretend to be Ramona. And although I can’t stand her, she NAILS the Ramona impression – except she forgot the crazy eyes.
There ya go! NOW she’s Ramona! Just cue the crocodile tears!
Sonja then grills Kelly “Ramona-style” (charred on the outside, while leaving the inside raw) and Kelly nervously answers back while Jill and LuAnn cackle about Sonja’s impression. I love that this is the impression that she gives of a friend. If one of my friends portrayed me as a vicious bitch I’d level her. Even if she was right.
But in the sweetest gesture yet, the girls all tell Kelly that she’s “ready” to go up against Ramona. Awww… poor stupid Kelly. This reminds me of the scene in “Jurassic Park” where the goat is tied to a stake in the T-Rex area. Best of luck Kelly!
We all know how that ended. Now just imagine Kelly’s head mounted on the roof of Ramona’s car.
Up in Brooklyn, Alex and Simone arrive home with their children to the sounds of a piano being played. Turns out they bought little Francois a piano for his birthday. And the kid looks AMAZED!
You know the smaller one is thinking, “Don’t be such a naive twit, it’s father’s lover and you know it.”
“I’m not! My name is Sebastian Pennyloafers and I’m a professional pianist!”
He’s a future real housewife in training. Total mindfucker.
Francois then sits down at the piano and looks completely underwhelmed while Mommy and Daddy ham it up for the cameras and make a big deal of it. Alex keeps saying “Juliard” this and “NY Performing Arts School” that while Simon begs the kids not to touch the piano as they’d leave fingerprints on it. A+ in parenting guys. You need to teach a class on how to raise a serial killer. If this kid doesn’t end up wearing someone’s skin as a suit or shooting up a town from the clocktower, it’ll be a MIRACLE.
Alex comments that it was difficult to find a piano that “sounds great and goes with the decor”. Well, I can agree, it must’ve been really hard to find a piano that screams desperation.
Speaking of desperation, Alex sits down to coax a “thank you for being an amazing mother” out of the kid and he just keeps staring off and grabbing at imaginary shit in the air. Yikes. I’m not touching this one. Something’s not quite right folks – he’s a little “off”.
Unless, maybe he’s reaching for the emergency brake for the “off-the-tracks” train that is his life right now.
On the other hand, I’m pretty sure that while we see the above, this is what he sees…
This is got to be what he sees on a daily basis. I call it, “Frantasia”!
The next day, Kelly is having her big boxing match / lunch with Ramona. And since lunch is involved, who happens to be joining?!?! SONJA!!! Kelly says she asked Sonja as a buffer. I hope this means she’ll push her in front of her when Ramona takes out the shotgun.
Ramona arrives and Sonja notices that they’re both wearing leather. Yeah leather!
And it’s in this moment Kelly realizes she chose the right outfit for the occasion.
Kelly shares her feelings for peace with Ramona and Ramona actually apologizes for the drunk text AND not sticking up for Kelly on “Scary Island”. And so they MAKE UP! WHAT?!!! RESHOOT! Booo! But wait, we’re all forgetting the law of physics on RHONYC – for every relationship saved or created, one must be DESTROYED!!! Cue Sonja throwing Cindy under the bus for trying to meddle and get into the middle of things. Which is TOTALLY Sonja’s job! Don’t fuck with her free lunches!
Later on in the week, Sonja has Cindy over for tea aka a “Come to Jesus” meeting. Cindy starts to have some fun dancing with Sonja’s help and she just about loses it. It’s HER hot lil’ latin “house man” and Cindy shouldn’t be dancing with him!
Can’t Cindy see that Sonja’s already marked HER property?! BACK OFF BITCH!
Sonja reprimands Cindy and makes her sit down for a proper scolding about meddling. Ya know – tea with friends.
There’s no fucking way I’d drink anything in that house. If the tea’s not laced with arsenic there’s probably gonna be roofy resin in the cup leftover from previous dates.
Sonja then lays into Cindy for telling Kelly about her plan to ambush her with Ramona. Instead of saying, “Yes I did. Because it was a bad idea and you’re a shitty friend” Cindy retreats and says she never said anything about Ramona coming. Lies. She’s so fucked when the White House releases the tapes.
But then Sonja gets to the REAL crazy shit. This is what makes the Housewives REAL, y’all! Sonja chews Cindy out for not having Pinot Grigio at her party for Ramona. ARE. YOU. FUCKING. KIDDING. ME??!! I didn’t realize that when you’re a guest at someone’s party that you make demands about what’s served and then throw a fit when those demands aren’t met. FUCK YOU. What a stupid bitch. Both of them. People are starving around the world and this bitch has the nerve to say something that stupid? If there’s a God it’ll turn out that Pinot Grigio reverses the effects of plastic surgery and causes boob shrinkage. Get a fucking grip you pompous morons.
Ahhh that feels much better having said that. Now, if ONLY Cindy had said something back – ANYTHING. But instead she’s too worried about the “Heathers” getting her kicked out of the RHONYC franchise. So she just sits there and stutters and rolls her eyes.
Funny how it went from Tea Time to Turtle Time in a matter of minutes. Where’s Ramona when you need her?
Speaking of, now we’re off to an event of Ramona’s that she came up with. It’s this brilliant idea where she invites all of her friends over to sell her jewelry to them. That’s SO groundbreaking! I bet if they tried that idea with tupperware it could really work.
LuAnn arrives and the Countess is NOT impressed with the party. It’s so… working class. And besides, as she points out, THIS jewelry is just NOT her thing…
Alright Madame Butterfly, let’s not point fingers over tacky jewelry. I was waiting for Indy to snatch that thing off your neck and then get chased by a giant boulder.
The Countess then tries some of Ramona’s very own Pinot Grigio (Sidenote: Bitch if you own your own wine, MAYBE bring it to an event your invited to as a gift). LuAnn makes the mistake of asking Ramona how she makes the wine…
In the same bathtub I make my meth in – why – do you like it?! DO YOU LIKE IT? ARE THE COPS HERE?!?! LIGHT THIS !@%!@ PLACE ON FIRE!!!!
Ramona says it’s in the “Ven-netto” region and LuAnn’s eyes just LIGHT UP because she gets to correct Ramona on how to say it. LuAnn then says “Veeehneeeeto” like she’s Giada hosting one of her obnoxious cooking shows…
“After this we’ll make dessert with MAAAHHHSCAHHPOOONAAAY. It’ll be very good. Did I mention I’m Italian? I’m EEEE-TAL-EEE-AAAHHHNO!!!”
Suddenly the convo gets changed to Ramona bitching about Cindy’s lack of Pinot Grigio at her party and THANK GOD LuAnn tells her to quit the shit and that she thinks it wasn’t a big deal. POINT FOR THE COUNTESS! I’m loving her this season (mostly).
Now we move on to Kelly taking a stroll through Central Park with Cindy as Cindy bitches about the scolding she got from Sonja. Cindy specifically brings up that Sonja said there’s a “pecking order”. In Sonja’s defense, I think she meant there’s an order in which she likes to line up her “peckers”. Otherwise known as “date night” for her.
Then the girls “just happen to” run into Jill! Which is SO crazy since she already has a mic on as she approaches. It all feels so “real” and under-produced!
Jill is out walking her little rat dog. Does anyone else miss Ichiban from RHODC?! That dog was amazing. He’d wrap Jill’s dog in mochi and eat it for lunch.
Kelly immediately tells Jill that Sonja said there’s a “pecking order” in their group which has fantastic repercussions on Jill’s face:
Her eyes literally might roll into the back of her head and kill her. Don’t let Ramona win, Jill! It’s time to use your evil for good!
Jill says that Ramona’s been a bad influence on Cindy and they only make each other worse. Line’s are being drawn! Let the games begin! I wonder what it’s gonna look like when Jill wears Ramona’s empty skull as a hat. Either way it’ll still be better than what Alex has going on on top of her head.
Days later we see Sonja at a baseball event for the ASPCA. She’s modeling and posing for photos. Where are these photos going to end up? Buried in the same spot as Jimmy Hoffa hopefully.
For those of you who believe in reincarnation. My guess is those panties were once Adolph Hitler. And you know she’s cramming 10lbs of potatoes into a 5lb bag. Take that Hitler!
She then poses for some photos with some HOT firemen. And, here’s where the universe folds in upon itself…
I really hope by “information” he means the number of her younger and better looking sister. Because otherwise, I’ve lost all hope in humanity.
Ugh! What’s the deal?! He’s hot and she’s dressed like slutty Raggedy Anne. There is no God. Maybe, since he’s a fireman, he’s drawn towards tragedy.
A few days later it’s FINALLY time for Sonja’s toaster oven party.
If that thing’s still plugged in we’re about to see the greatest moment in RH history.
Sonja doesn’t get electrocuted (sadly) but she explains that she can cook for anyone, no matter how special, out of her toaster oven. Congrats, you’re a shitty cook! I can just imagine how awesome your burnt on the outside and raw on the inside Thanksgiving turkey is. Nothing like spending Black Friday feeling like a poltergeist is inside of you.
But instead of turkey, Sonja goes with asparagus and sole…
I never thought Sonja’s soul would be white, but I definitely thought it’d be that small. ZING!
Sonja said she didn’t realize sole goes in big but comes out small. Honey, Imma guess that’s nothing new to you. OHHHH!!!! I’m mature. The Countess laaaaahves it though. I can’t imagine why. Did anyone else see the amount of butter she put in the pan?! Toaster oven cooking: Just add a stick of butter. Voila! Delicious! She’s a friggin’ genius!
Over in Brooklyn, Jill stops by to have a drink with Alex and make amends. She starts by giving Alex a bag of stuff from “Bed, Bath & Beyond” for her kids. WTF DID SHE BUY THEM?!
Jill: “I got them sanitary hand wipes! Ya know, cause they like to climb all over people all the time. Because they’re ANIMALS!!!”
Jill tries to play REALLY nice and butters Alex up. She says, that life is choosing 2 out of 3 things to do well: Work, work out and be a mother. Now, since most of my closest friends are women, I can tell you with certainty that the only sentence that follows should be: “But look at you – you have all 3.”
Unfortunately Jill didn’t fare so well. She tells Alex that she is a mother and works…. and then stutterfucks. You just called her fat and ugly! BWAH!!!
Once they finally sit down, Jill pours her heart out that she misses Alex and Simon and she wants them to make up. WHAT?!?! What the fuck’s in the water down under?! JILL ZARIN wants to make amends?! Ahhh but have no fear – Alex tells us in the confessional, “I still don’t trust her at all.” Best friends!
Meanwhile, Ramona and Cindy then meet for lunch so that Cindy can tell Ramona what’s what. However, Ramona just blankly stares at her and says that it’s great seeing her like she’s reading lines from a script. What the fuck is going on with all of the faux making up?! This is awful. It’s like this show was taped right after 9/11. Ya know, that interim of time when everyone was really nice to each other but you knew it was only a matter of time before things returned to normal and people started using their horns and middle fingers again?
And I love how Ramona won’t take her eyes off Cindy like it’s a staring contest…
“Bitch I’m WATCHING you. Now and for the rest of your life.” How awkward must that waiter have felt?!
Ramona is acting super weird like right before the lunch someone showed her a poll of how 99% of viewers think she’s a crazy bitch. I mean, that poll HAS to be out there somewhere.
We cut back to Alex explaining to Jill why she thinks she’s a raving bitch. Since Alex thrives off digging up shit from forever ago, she goes all the way back to the Age of Bethenny (DRINK!) and how Jill called Simon a drunk and her kids animals. Stop making me nostalgic! Ahhh those were the days! Come on Jill! You can turn this all around by smacking the bad hair off her head and storming out!
Instead she apologizes to Alex for everything and asks her if they can move on. Well… enjoy your last season RHONYC.
On the other side of what seems like the world, Cindy and Ramona are NOT coming to an understanding. And since Ramona can’t resist being a passive aggressive bitch for more than than half a glass of Pinot Grigio, she tells Cindy that she was upset because she’s been married for 18 years so time is precious with her husband and that’s why she was upset she had to go to Cindy’s “kiddie party” where there was no PG. I only wish I was making this shit up.
Things got even worse when Cindy knocks a drop of Pinot Grigio out of her glass and onto the table.
Side note: If you told Ramona there was a glass of Pinot Grigio inside of either a newborn, Santa Claus, or an elderly nun, how fast would she rip all three open to get to the glass of wine?
Cindy clearly thinks she’s bat shit crazy but WON’T just come out and say it. She just keeps shaking her head in disbelief that Ramona won’t apologize for anything and has the longest bout of crazy eyes yet.
So she just gives up and starts texting (who?!) and tells Ramona she can leave. I want to know who she was texting! Kelly? LuAnn? Nannies 16-24?!
Ohhhh… yeah that makes sense.
Meanwhile Jill is crying and explaining to Alex why she was such a bitch last year to her. And Alex is finally coming around to accepting her apology. I can only hope that this is all happening so that they can join forces and destroy someone.
Jill comes up with the idea to write down everything that upsets them about each other and then burn it. So they both write their lists out and while I’m hoping that when they’re done Alex only has one page and sees Jill’s list is 20 pages long, that does not happen. Damn it.
If these were REAL Real Housewives they’d be burning $100 bills. Not paper. They’re a shadow of their former selves.
Finally, they attempt to set their past aflame and what happens? Nothing. The paper won’t light. Ya know why? Because even a piece of paper can’t be brought to care enough about this. The paper don’t give a shit.
“And neither do I. These bitches even tire ME out. And I’m a Honey Badger damn it!”
And that’s it! Ramona and Cindy start a war while Alex and Jill end one. Thank GOD for the new girl, huh? This is the second episode, for me at least, where close to nothing happened. They sat around and whined, apologized and gave crazy eye the whole time. DO SOMETHING!!! Or get REAL. Maybe they should stop doing the confessionals so that they’re forced to say shit to each other instead of running to the cameras to say how they really feel. This shit should be called “Watch What Doesn’t Happen!” That’s my two cents. What’s yours?! Dish it!
24 Comments
HONEY BADGER DON’T CARE! hahahaha
Am I the only one that is having a huge problem with the rewriting of Kellys breakdown last season? Jill and Luann going along with what Kelly is trying to say about it (now that they have seen the footage)plus that they let Kellys assertation that Ramona sent a ‘threatening’ text to her slide is downright irresponsible and dangerous.
I’m not sure how this season is going to play out except to say that there seems to be no ‘good side’ whatsoever.
Super funny recap. I wondered the same thing about Alex and Simon’s older kid. Loved Ramona’s look at your thought of a spilled drop of P- G ! BTW – I read somewhere that CIndy is 46. For reals?
It definitely seems like they’re editing Kelly with kid gloves this season. No idea why. And really, Ramona had NO reason to apologize for what happened on thy vacation. Maybe I’m one of the few who likes Ramona and her crazy, but true. I mean ya know she likes her Pinot, she said she’d bring her own….it’s almost as if….they’re trying to create DRAMA!! Imagine that! Now that Bethenny is gone, all these ladies seem to be jockeying for position of fan fav – too bad they all suck for the most part.
lol @ slutty raggedy ann doll!! i felt abit hopeless in men there too for a second.. but gotta give it to Sonja. if we were in her position we’d be doing the same thing. bitch has got it made. LOL.
I completely agree that they have re-written Kelly’s breakdown from last season. It’s ridiculous how they are all pretending nothing INSANE happened! And now they’re portraying Kelly as normal? It just goes to show they can make these reality shows and stars look any way they want. Last season Sonja could do no wrong; this season she is revolting. It’s however Bravo wants it to look.
OMG, I never laughed harder at the Housewives than I did when Alex’s son was duly unimpressed by anything they had to say. I’ll be nice and say that is one weird kid. Maybe it was the cameras?
Sonja is getting on my nerves this season. And I used to like her. I can’t stand Ramona in any way, shape or form and I’m glad they are starting to see her for the whackjob she is. I wish Cindy would have read both of them the riot act. But maybe she just doesn’t have enough chutzpah yet. But I like her so far, so I hope she ends up on the “good” side.
As far as Kelly goes, I think she’s just prone to hyperbole. I think she’s really harmless. Who hasn’t been in a situation where you didn’t want to be there and couldn’t leave, so you started acting a little crazy? Her kids seem fine. I just have a problem with people trying to diagnose someone’s “mental problems” based off of a few moments on a tv show.
I guess at some point, it comes down to blondes vs. brunettes and I am totally Team Brunette! It’ll be interesting to see what Ramona does to set Jill off next episode. That crazy cooze. I don’t know how anyone hasn’t slapped the hell out of her yet…
Speaking of diagnosing mental problems…I think Alex and Simon’s oldest kid has some issues. I’d take a guess he is on the autism spectrum somewhere, and I hope they’re getting him checked out if this is his normal behavior. If this was just a fluke, then I’m glad. Autism is a bitch and I wouldn’t wish it on any parent.
I say this as a psych nurse for 26 years. I really hope the kid is ok.
I think the only thing wrong with that kid is his parents. They created such an awkward situation for him to be in with the strange man playing piano in his house and expecting him to be all excited. And then the cameras on top of it all. I felt really bad for him.
I don’t know @jayem — last years vacation was not merely hyperbole. The woman has problems outside the norm and pretending otherwise is not going to help her in the long run. Actually I don’t think Andy Cohen should have let her back on, her behavior was so erratic and deranged.
As for the elder of Alexs kids — I think that he is probably just a little kid with two helicopter parents; the kind that will take him to several psychologists to prove he is ‘advanced’ or gee..hire someone from Julliard to play on a piano because he played chopsticks on a keyboard. Anyone else remember NYs first season when Alex was explaining that they only employ French au pairs so that the boys will be bilingual — then Bravo showed the au pair begging the boys to say ‘please’ in French and they wouldn’t do it, lol!
I think the kid was swatting at a microphone, and Alex was trying to get him to act excited over a piano and a stranger playing it in their home. I bet A & S act a lot more pretentious with the cameras around, and it confuses the kids. My 10 year old sticks his butt in the air whenever I pull out the camera. I can’t imagine what mayhem would ensue if there were an entire camera crew in my living room. It’s just another reason to keep kids off reality tv.
I think the only reason that Jill and the Countless are sucking up to Kelly is that they’re building an alliance. That’s all they care about, not Kelly’s well being. Jill is still seething that Ramona didn’t want her on that island, and she’s going to give it back to her no matter how long it takes. Yeah sure Jill has changed. The only thing she’s done differently this time is honing her alliance building skills BEFORE the altercation.
Sonja is the same pig she was last year. She’s always played both sides of the fence, and she’s always flashed her body parts. This year, she probably drinks more because of her money problems.
I sincerely doubt any of them appreciate the new chick from downtown. They snubbed Alex because she lives in Brooklyn. The new chick removes pubes for a living. How gauche. Since J & C are building their alliance, they’ll put up with this “mutt” for the time being. Sonja’s just expressing what the rest of them feel (besides Alex). You’ve got to know they’re all pumping her up with this crap off camera. She’s just gullible enough to do the talking for them. Point Zarin.
Ramona’s going to get slammed hard this season, and Jill will be behind every step.
Does anyone remember Kelly being quite confrontational with Bethenney in the bar? I’m having trouble reconciling this new Kelly with the one that I’ve known and despised in previous seasons. It’s almost as if she’s on some really good meds now …
*sigh* I miss Bethenney. (yes, I know I can watch her show … I miss her on RHONY!)
Thanks Bbitz. Funny, Funny.
@ Wheres My Coffie, Darn good post and I couldn’t agree more.
As far as Alex’s son is concerned, I remember a few seasons ago when they were at a dinner party and Alex and Simon allowed those kids to grab food off of other dinner guests plates. AND THEY LAUGHED ABOUT IT! I remeber Alex saying that her reasoning for bringing the children to event’s like that was so they would learn at a young age how to conduct themselves. I almost split a gut. Yes, children should be exposed to these things at an early age. I agree. But when they start grabbing shit off somebody’s plate,..it’s time to teach. Not laugh like it is the cutest thing since the sliced bread your kid just hijacked from someone’s plate. They give those kid’s mixed signals while they are on camera, I can’t imagine what happens when the camera’s are turned off.
Robin
Bbitz, this recap was excellent! Your photoshop wkills are superb and crack me up every single time! (Especially the one about what Alex’s son really sees..)
Although, i feel a bit guilty laighing about. Only because there Alex has been getting flack on other sites where people think her child has real ‘issues’ and don’t like the fact that she’s parading him in fromt of the cameras. Of course, like Jayem mentioned, many of these people are armchair experts, only seeing the child in two minute incrememnts and making a diagnosis. But if it turns out to be true, I’d feel really bad for laughing. Although, I suspect it isn’t. Only because the cynic in me knows that Simon and Alex would use it as an excuse to attend more charity functions and pose on more red carpets, all in hopes of ‘finding a cure.’
Cindy. Poor Cindy. She seems to be ‘our’ eyes and gets that all of this is ridiculous. The pettiness, the ‘pecking order’, and such. But she’s no quick wit. All she can do is stare blankly and play with her cell phone. Bethenny, she is not.
Luann..please with the tacky jewelry! That gold butterfly looked like a prop from a Mariah Carey video. Except, it would have adorned a horse in a field of poppies. You have no right to call anyone else’s taste, tacky. (But I did laugh when she called Ramona’s party “Mary Kay.” Especially with that weird Stepford Wife of a sales rep. Does Ramona only hire women who look like her crazy eyed clones?)
Bbitz..let the conspiracy theories emerge! I read a while back about Jill having some come out of Australia saying she was Jill’s number #1 fan. Funny thing is, this girl is only 17! Some people, after Amazongate (Jill was caught faking positive reviews of her book on Amazon), didn’t really believe this teen actually existed. But a website tracked her down and ‘Melinda’ said she supported Jill, as does the other “Gingerettes.” (You guessed it, Melinda is a redhead.) Anyway, read it all here and decide if this is why Jill went to Australia or if she just wanted to see John Travolta’s lacefront up close in hopes of purchasing one for Bobby.
http://stoopidhousewives.com/2010/11/13/does-jill-zarin-have-a-1-fan-now-we-all-know/
Sonja..Baby got back! ” And during the pitch seemed to have Juvenile lyrics in her head..”Yous a real fine woman won’t you back that ass up!”
I must say, her bottom looked surprisingly perky and made me wonder. Was it the (too) tight panties? Or is the visible light line at the top of her thighs where her Spanx cut off? Either way, it’s getting her laid. And when a man is drunk and lying in your bed, sometimes he isn’t too particular about you coming from the bathroom with a little extra wiggle and jiggle. So, go ‘head girl with the ole bait and switch!
Oh, I almost forgot about Ramona! Ramona, please spare us the hysterics. Like an alcoholic is really particular about what they drink.
Reminds me of a friend I had back in college. This girl was great fun..as long as we weren’t dining out. You know the type..wants everything on the menu (let’s buy a bottle of the finest champagne!), puts on airs like an aristocrat, and then when the bill comes, whips out her cell phone to calculate her portion to the penny! *rolls eyes*
Well, this particular evening, I’d invited her to dinner to meet my best friend since high school. We went to this restaurant and after declining the Aristocrat’s offer of splitting a $200 bottle of champagne, we all bought wine by the glass. The Aristocrat said she could only drink Pinot Grigio. Nothing more, nothing less. Well, we ordered our drinks and I got a Chardonnay, because why not? I like wine..chilled and dry, but I’m not going to pretend to sniff the bouquet, I’m gonna drink! Well, I tasted my Chard and didn’t like it all that much but wasn’t going to complain. Well, the Aristocrat went off to powder her nose and left her Pinot unattended. I tasted her drink and it was much better. So I switched it. *gasp* Yes, immature, but I was annoyed with her highfalutin BS and, besides, it proved my point. You think she noticed? NOPE! She drank that chardonnay with her pinky in the air like the klassy lady she thought herself to be! This..is Ramona. If I were Cindy, I would buy two bottles of Ramona’s wine, drink it, and before Ramona came to dinner, refill it from my box of Franzia. That bitch would never know the difference. As long as she leaves with a buzz, everybody’s happy.
It’s Turtle Time!!
Bbitz your photoshopping kills me every time, love it!!! You are awesomely funny!
I’m not done yet, just wanted to jump in on the piano issue. I was a little distressed about it too. I generally like Silex more than I used to but cut it with the Julliard shit already. What if A) your kids sucks or B) Julliard didn’t accept him? They’d be crushed. Anywho, I wondered about the possibility of Autism. But, Alex Twittered that the kids were tired and he was reaching for the boom mic. He could have cared less about that damn piano (my comment not Alex’s). Back to reading…
Here is what I don’t get about Pinot-Gate: Why did Cindy tell Ramona she would have it there? Ramona was willing to bring her own, if Cindy wasn’t planning to serve it, so why not let Ramona bring her own? Why lie to her about it and then act all put out when asked where it is?
But, I think this is the thing that bugs me the most about Cindy. She lies about the most unnecessary stuff. She knew she wasn’t going to have lunch with Sonja, but lied that the plans were still on anyway, only to back out at the last minute. She knew that Sonja was well aware that she had told Kelly about the Ramona/Kelly reconciliation attempt, but lied to Sonja about it anyway. Does she not realize that the cameras are recording? Is she so worried about confrontation that she lies just to avoid it?
The thing is I could understand a little white lie to spare someone’s feelings, but these things aren’t even worthy of lying about. These are things that could prevent minor or even major inconveniences all around.Is this how she proposed to bring the drama of being worthy of being on the show? What is her freaking deal?
I agree Paganchick. Plus her brother is dating a girl who looks just like her. That’s hella creepy IMO.
@Where’s My Coffee, I agree that the girlfriend looking like Cindy is very creepy. I totally get a “Flowers in the Attic” vibe from the too of them.
@Paganchick, I agree about the lying. These are stupid lies that are easily outted. Why bother with them? If you are going to lie about something make it a big something like Jill did with Bethenny not showing up for Bobby when he had cancer, only to find out she didn’t know because Jill never told her.
I also have to admit that while I think the whole pecking order thing is ridiculous, I kind of loved Sonja in that scene. It was so entertaining to see Cindy squirm because otherwise there is nothing going on with her that I find the least bit entertaining. And, I also wonder how difficult it must be to avoid talking about the show on the show. If Ramona was the one that got Cindy on the show, then Sonja reminding Cindy to be loyal to her without saying “bitch she got you on the show.” was pretty well done. Of course that wasn’t as entertaining as watching Sonja fall off that horse.
I was so hoping Cindy would put her big girl panties on and give someone a smackdown. How disappointing that she just sat there and took it. And I’m glad I am not alone in thinking that Silex’s kid seems a little…different. that scene was really uncomfortable to watch.
Cindy should have not told Ramona that Pinot would be there if it wasn’t. Ramona doesn’t really drink anything else and instead of inconveniencing the host for her she is willing to bring her own. so when she gets to the party there’s no pinot which means nothing for her to drink and Cindy lied…I would have been upset also.
I actually have never been in a situation where I didn’t want to be there and acted like Kelly did.
I don’t think there is anything wrong with little Frankie. If you watch the extra scenes on BRAVO’s site where Alex and Simon are interacting with the kids, the kids seem perfectly normal and well adjusted. I’m pretty sure that the kid didn’t know how to perform, so he just checked out and tried to grab the boom mike above Alex’s head. Also, what kid wants a piano for their birthday? That sucks. No wonder he was disinterested.
I think Alex and Simon make it easy for BRAVO to make them the butt of the joke, and since the season is so freaking boring so far, BRAVO is pulling out everything they can to keep people watching and talking about it.
I agree there doesn’t seem to be a “good side” this season. I really miss Bethenny – she’s the only intelligently quick-witted Housewife in the entire franchise. That girl has ballz. I really thought Cindy would carry her own pair of balls around, but alas she has none. She’ll be the next Alex or Kelly, the victim to those others who love to play puppetmaster.
I can’t take a side. I hate this. I loved Alex and Ramona last season, but Alex is just being silly this time around though I do see where she’s coming from on everything…except the parenting (and I’m a parent, so I can say that haha). Ramona I still like, but there have been moments where I want her to just stop making herself look like an ass. Like the lunch with Cindy. Ramona is Ramona though and what she does is she speaks the truth, sometimes gets a little ugly, but will always offer up a genuine apology. Not like Jill who denies everything she’s ever done and has never given a real apology in her entire life.
And, yeah, what’s this Kelly crap? That woman is insane. This is not armchair psychology. There is plenty of footage, even this season, showcasing just how much that woman needs psychological help. Andy should be slapped on the wrist for letting her be on the show another season. She’s not any better – did you see her on WWHL? She’s still in this fantasy world where she’s a victim and does nothing wrong and anyone that hasn’t “stabbed her in the back” yet is someone to be trusted…right, because LuAnn and Jill are so effing trustworthy.