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The bitch is back! Sorry I took a lil’ break last week. It was to take a trip and celebrate my bday being that it was 21 (21 I SAID. ANYONE WHO SAYS OTHERWISE IS A LIAR AND A TERRORIST). But holy shit did I miss a great showdown! Crazy Eyes VS Ms. I’m Done! And what’s the next step after two of the world’s greatest frenemies square off in public?! Why, they have LUNCH of course! Prepare yourself for ladies who lunch… on THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF NYC!
But first, we have the Countess meeting Sonja for lunch. And it MUST be fancy because LuAnn is speaking French. It all sounds like “flee-flee-floo-floo” to me but the guy understands her so I guess the lessons Frenchie’s teaching her in the bedroom are paying off. Even if she probably just accidentally offered to give the maitre’d the French version of a Dirty Sanchez.
Sonja starts by saying that she “just came from the gym” so that’s why she looks like a mess. Then adds she stopped by home for a bath. WHAT?! Bitch shows up late for lunch and it’s because she took a BATH. You know the Countess is thinking, “I’ve been sitting here waiting for you, speaking French to the help and you’re off waiting for Calgon to take you away?!!? <SMACK!!!>
LuAnn says that she just wanted to get together because she senses the girls are not all getting along. So what do they decide? They should all take a trip somewhere together. That’s great! There’s no WAY that could go wrong!!!
So we’ve all decided Scary Island never happened then, huh?
They discuss places to go and LuAnn is REALLY pushing for Morocco. Apparently someone has frequent flier miles on Moroccan Air to use up. Although Sonja’s hesitant because she thinks Morroco’s shady and she wants a villa to lock herself away in. Nothing like going to a foreign country to live in a villa and pretend that you never left home. Although I can understand her fear of what might happen in Morocco…
We all know about the crazy shit that goes down there.
LuAnn thinks it’ll be a great idea to “take the girls out of their element”. A GREAT IDEA? Maybe if you’re trying to start a nuclear reactor. I know Kelly will definitely be up for another trip (as long as she’s had a lobotomy since the last one – which is pretty likely).
So LuAnn giddily runs home and calls Jill to ask if she’d be interested in going. At first she says, “Another trip? But I just HAD a facelift!” Kidding. Jill’s actual response?
Ironic that you’ll check it off just as they kill you.
Luckily Bobby says Jill can go. Pretty sure he’s screaming, “SERENITY NOW!!!!” inside his head. I love how this is all LuAnn’s plan. She’s totally dodged the bullet this whole season and she totally just threw her hat in the ring. Did I say ring? I meant SHREDDER.
Next up, Sonja asks Ramona if she’d like to go (this is so fun to pretend like they don’t already have approval and tickets purchased!). Ramona’s response?
Isn’t this what you’d say at the end of a marriage instead of the beginning of a vacation?
Ramona says she’s afraid because “they don’t respect women and it’s a 3rd world country.” So much for the Moroccan Board of Tourism funding THIS trip.
Alex is also on board because “Simon doesn’t like couscous.” I never thought vaginas and couscous would have anything in common – but there ya go. Kelly, on the otherhand, says she’ll think of it. GIRL ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?! Wait. Forget I asked.
LuAnn and Ramona then have “lunch”…
Definition of a “RH Lunch”: an awkward encounter culminating in an argument that will later heighten at a large social engagement all under the guise of ingesting food and beverage. Repeat 2-3 times EVERY episode.
So before the Pinot is even ordered, LuAnn smacks Ramona on the hand for getting into a fight with Jill. Ramona counters back that at least “SHE” says it to people’s faces (cue LuAnn’s look of “WHAT?! ME?! NEVER!”) and LuAnn counters with, “Here’s the shitty gift Jill got your from Australia.” Check and mate!
How could Ramona ever respond to that?!
The ol’ ranting like a crazy person about HER being the victim all while her eyes are closed!
WHY does she do that?! It drives me NUTS. She looks like a friggin’ idiot and nothing says “I’m lying” like talking with your eyes closed.
Ramona says she’ll resolve things with Jill and LuAnn’s happy because she doesn’t want another Bethenny situation on their hands. “Bethenny”!!! Everyone DRINK!!!
Next we join Sonja for her photoshoot for her “Toaster Oven Cookbook”. Ugh for Christ’s sake. REALLY? She’s REALLY going through with this? I hope the book comes with a “How to Live Alone Forever” booklet and a reason to live.
The uber gay make-up artist that’s there to help yells at everyone to stay off his ass and then pulls one of these…
Make-up your mind buddy.
And now for the shoot!
Her initials are “S&M”. I die.
Kelly soon joins in the fun only to discover that Sonja’s squatting in the middle of her dining table without any underwear on…
Fish. It’s what’s for dinner. And btw that table’s going to need to be cleaned with a blow torch if anyone’s ever going to eat on it again.
Kelly’s completely disgusted and tries to tell Sonja that none of these shots are gonna sell a book about toaster oven cooking. In Sonja’s defense, if anyone’s buying this book, it’s not because they wanna learn how to cook in a toaster oven. And if they are, they deserve a muff shot for their stupidity.
Let’s check in on Cindy, Jill, LuAnn and Kelly as they head off to a spa trip! (Uh oh, methinks this is the beginning of “Blondes vs Brunettes” that we’ve all heard about. Sides are being formed!)
Kelly starts the trip by dishing on Sonja’s muffin-shot (oh Kelly – you really make it hard to believe in your innocence when you start the dishin’ first) and Jill’s appalled but LuAnn’s all “Girl I see vaginas all the time! I’m like the kid in “Sixth Sense” but instead of ghosts, I see hair pie.” Looks like Kelly’s not getting the reaction she hoped for.
LuAnn then dishes about Ramona and calls her a “Diva Bitch”. Let the games begin! Morocco’s going to be fun! (For us to watch, not them to experience.)
Gears shift and Kelly starts crying on LuAnn’s shoulder about her divorce and shitty marriage. She even tells her that she was slapped around a bit. Yikes. Best part? The awkwardness coming from the back seat as Jill and Cindy pretend not to be listening. I’m pretty sure they were just sitting there mouthing “watermelonwatermelonwatermelon” over and over.
The ladies finally arrive at Canyon Ranch and are surprised with gifts. Jill rips hers right open as LuAnn stands by in horror because “one should NEVER open a gift in a hotel lobby!” I wish everyone was privy to the rules of being a Cuntess.
The next day the ladies all enjoy the ranch and start with… a massage? Seaweed wrap?
A drum class?! There’d be a small cloud of dust where I was once sitting as I made my way to the sauna. If I wanted to bang something at a spa I’d give the massage therapist my number.
The ladies then all have to share something about themselves. Kelly shares that she’s “obsessed with smells” (well she’s got “fear” down pat), Jill shares that “red isn’t my real color” (call the “No Shit Police”), and Cindy shares that she’s “not as tough as I appear”. So what does Jill do? Make a crack that her teeth aren’t real. Ahhh friendship, when someone’s down, make sure to kick them right in the fucking horse teeth.
Back in the city, Ramona’s meeting with a plastic surgeon regarding her turkey-neck. And she brought Alex and Sonja along for the joy ride! Blondes unite under the needle! Yeah!
Alex gets her face shaved (which they fucked up because it’s still totally there) while…
Sonja gets the demons exorcised from her belly.
It’s too late!!! HOLD HER DOWN!!!!
She’s actually doing it to tighten her stomach. Too much toaster oven cooking will do that to a belly.
Back at the Ranch, the ladies get together and talk about menopause. To which Cindy asks, “Did you see the “Vagina Monocles”? OMG. That’d be the best show ever.
Almost as good as the “Peanut’s Monocle”.
Kelly talks more about her shitty marriage and the girls are all glad she’s healing. Then Kelly says she’s not going to Morocco because of the Ramonsta and the girls all go crazy because they want her to go – also because another Kelly breakdown would ensure great ratings and another season of them getting paid to feign dramatics. Did I say that?
The girls then retire into their bathrobes and play a game where they have to use one word to describe each other.
Cindy: “Is “ruthless-cunt” count as one word if I hyphenate? Also, can I use it 3 times?”
They all start revealing what everyone wrote. Was there anyone waiting for one of Kelly’s to look like this?
Use your words Kelly. Sound them out.
Back in NYC, the girls are back from their trip and Alex arrives to help Jill stuff gift bags for an anti-bullying event. Apparently it’s because she feels for all of the kids out there who have been bullied. She’s right. Those kids need to be allowed to become adults before she bullies them. I kid, that’s sweet of her anyways. I hope she’s not stuffing the gift bags with baseball bats and loaded weapons though.
Jill tells Alex that Ramona’s coming over to and asks her to help “keep Ramona on a leash”. Aww! These are words friends use! I’ve learned so much from this show.
Later on at the event, Ramona arrives (while immediately demanding the Pinot Grigio she brought be corked and brought to her) and Jill confronts her immediately wanting to resolve things. But Ramona wants to wait for the trip. Yeah Jill! Don’t you know anything about building suspense and tension for the grande finale?! But Jill says she’d rather stay home and pick her nose than go on a trip with tension…
Thank God she found that new nose in Australia otherwise picking it would take some serious time. Loooots of surface area.
Then LuAnn arrives and she’s got a BONE to pick with Ramona. (Someone seriously lit a fire under her ass to get “involved”.) Apparently Ramona told a designer not to let LuAnn wear their clothes because SHE wanted to be the only one with them. So LuAnn is PISSED (NO ONE TELLS THE CUNTESS “NO!!!”) and calls Ramona a nasty bitch!!! ZING! Morocco’s shaping up to be a beautiful vacay!
Then LuAnn tells Ramona that everyone doesn’t want to go to Morocco because she’s such a bitch. Awww damn it LuAnn! Save it for the plane ride on the way there! Alex jumps in and defends Ramona and then makes the remark we’ve been waiting for!!! “SHE IS A THUG IN A COCKTAIL DRESS.” OHHH!!! Who here thought that about be about LUANN of all people?! I must admit that’s a big surprise.
Although I like LuAnn much better than Ramona, she’s totally stirring the pot while swearing she’s not holding the spoon. Alex just keeps begging her to simmer down while Ramona pops her “gummi berri juice” aka “Pinot Grigio” and starts to energize for the impending throw down.
Jill then enters the room and LuAnn tries to push her to confront Ramona but Jills just smiles her shit-eating grin. Which pisses LuAnn off because they won’t just have it out. She’s literally 5 seconds away from throwing a steak wrapped in diamonds down on the ground between them and firing off a gun.
Ramona then leaves just as Jill realizes she corked the wine that was supposed to be donated to the charity auction.
I have to give her credit, it’s not everyday an alcoholic takes the steps to make her own wine label so that she never has to share and always has a supply. It’s like a fat girl carrying around a marker and writing your name on everything in someone’s fridge.
But enough about Ramona – Kelly’s decided to go to Morocco!!! LuAnn says “This is going to be so good for you!” She’d seriously make the world’s worst therapist.
The fashion show then begins (why’s there always have to be a fashion show for every friggin’ event?!) and the ladies all notice that Ramona’s the only one pounding the wine back while watching. I kind of would too if I had to be there. Shit. I have to drink just to WRITE about these people.
After the show, Kelly goes up to Ramona to tell her she’s going on the trip despite what happened on the last one. Ramona declares innocence and Kelly forces her to just say, “Kelly I understand.” Friendship is forcing someone to say they care. Another lesson learned!
Jill then introduces her step-daughter to the audience who makes a speech about being bullied because she has a facial birthmark. It’s very touching and I’m sure the ladies all learned a lesson from it not to hurt others.
Stop laughing yet? Me neither.
And then we finish of the episode with Ramona finishing off her 8th bottle of Pinot Grigio while the other ladies look on in horror. Morroco’s gonna be a blast.
Rick, you best stock up on Pinot Grigio. Hire a barge. ASAP.
We then get a quick glimpse of what Morocco’s gonna be like!
I’m gonna wanna @#$% cut myself and drink poison?
We witness the world’s worst ab class?
And that’s it! Wow! What an episode! LuAnn’s put her balls on the chopping block and the stage is set for “Scary Island 2: Morocco!” What’d everyone think of the episode?! Are you Team Blonde or Team Brunette?! Is LuAnn really a thug in a cocktail dress?!? Come on everyone and DISH IT!!!
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Couscous is slang in many arab countries for pussy (or cous to be exact). They insult each other with sayings like this “cous um-uck” which literally means “your mother’s pussy”
So when Alex said Simon didn’t like couscous … well enough said.
I’m team ‘enuff already with these women’—ugh!!!!
The Cuntess really IS a Cunt! Team Blonde!
I loved Cindy’s super-intense ear-hustling face in the car when she was listening to LuAnn and Kelly talk, but THEN pretending not to hear (or see) Kelly upset and LuAnn hugging her. I don’t usually endorse abuse, but Kelly would make anybody wanna slap the shit out of her! Her ex probably gave her that slap that they do on TV when a crazy person won’t settle down. And LuAnn made SURE to let Ramona know that THEY went on a super-neato spa trip and she wasn’t invited. Cindy should stop trying to buy friendship, she is a weirdo and nobody really likes her-she is tolerated at best.
Not finished yet, but I truly LOL’d @ this:
LuAnn’s all “Girl I see vaginas all the time! I’m like the kid in “Sixth Sense” but instead of ghosts, I see hair pie.”
LOLOLOLOLOL!!!
And this!
The uber gay make-up artist that’s there to help yells at everyone to stay off his ass and then pulls one of these…
Make-up your mind buddy.
Buhahahahhhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaa!!
I have 3 things to contribute, as follows:
1) I’m pretty sure the “thug in a cocktail dress” comment was something Alex heard somewhere, she thought it was BRILLIANT, and has been waiting on pins and needles for an opportunity to say/use it.
2) I’m def team blonde cause I hate Luanne, and Sonja can do no wrong in my eyes.
3) Although I laughed my ass off for pretty much the entirety of this recap (great as always B), I laughed EXTRA hard when I realized that I was reading the words “But Jill said she’d rather stay home and pick her nose than go on a trip with tension…” AS I was picking MY nose!!! Hahahaha. What are the chances? Well, higher than you’d think, actually.
Why does Ramona bring bottles of wine for people to drink then drinks most of it!? She seems to lack sales skills or her drinking over takes common sense. Whatever company hooked up with Ramona in this venture realizes now how much inventory will go right down Ramona’s throat. Hubby is glad someone else if footing the pinot bill.
I think I have to go with team brunette. I dont generally mind Kelly or Luanne this season, although the countess had her moments this ep. With team blonde, two of them are total effing lunatics and Alex is just kind of a dishrag.
Never liked that phony Countless and her phony title. When Bethenny called her a snake, she was right.
@joslynjones—-lol, thanks for the visual! I immediately flashed back to the scene in Airplane! where all the passengers lined up to smack some sense into an hysterical passenger, lol. I think you are totally right – that has had to happen to Kelly at some point in her life.
But still I have to ask, no beg the question — what the hell is up with all the housewives pretending that Scary Island either didn’t happen the way we all saw it happen?! As a viewer that is especially difficult to handle. I remember that after the Scary Island episodes aired Bethenny, Ramona and Alex wrote extensively about the experience in their blogs and all of them said that it was one hundred times worse then what was shown. Now all of a sudden we the viewers are supposed to sign on to the revised Kelly friendly version that Ramona was just being a drunken bully? Please. If anyone was a bully it was Kelly with Jill instigating the entire mess by phone.
If for no other reason this makes me solidly team Blonde.
Luanne needs to stay out of Jill’s problems and ass.I HATE Luman HATE,HATE,HATE!! Sure Romona’s a big asshole, but Luman is a two faced shit starting Snake-as Bethenny said. Always acting all proper and better than everyone, what shit. She’s the fakest of them all. She only has money and “status?” b/c she married some creepy old man. I want to smack that smirk off her extra large face. Did someone call her trustworthy? I’d trust her as much as I’d trust my butt not to make a wet fart after 10 bowls of chilli, TEAM BLONDE
Team Blonde. I can handle someone when they present their real selves to me. Then I can decide how to handle them. When I get a two faced bish like Luann or an exaggerator (liar) like Cindy and Jill or a space cadet like Kelly I don’t know how to handle them or the situation.
I have to say that the blondes are just who they are and they don’t apologize for it. I loves me some Ramona.
Classy drunk, I have to disagree. I refuse to accept this Reality TV convention that as long as you’re a flaming cunt to someone’s face, you have more character than if you’re a flaming cunt behind their back. And it’s ok to be a flaming cunt as long as you don’t pretend to be something else. Like that’s showing some kind of character. It isn’t. These whores want to display character? Stop being a flaming cunt. (Two out of the three blondes now have negative numbers in the husband column, so I guess their “I am who I am” thing ain’t working out so well.)
I do agree that I don’t know how to handle insane people. If somebody like Kelly sits down next to me on the Orange Line to Government Center, I get uncomfortable. How do you know what’s going on in their Froot Loopy head? When they look out of their crazy eyes, do they see me with a lobster head? What if Kelly decides she’s afraid of lobsters, and must defend herself against my lobster head? What if Kelly decides she LOVES lobster, and is famished?
That’s it. I’m not leaving the house anymore. Too much crazy shit could happen.
Ramona’s “they don’t respect women and it’s a 3rd world country” remark baffles me because she recently went to africa. Men throw AIDS at the women there like a water sprinkler so I’m not sure they respect women and they wish they were as advanced as a thrird world country
Team Blonde all the way!!! Jill and Cuntess make me sick. Love to see them fight each other if Cuntess could get her head out of Jill’s ass for a second. Kelly and Cindy are invisible white noise to me.
I admire the hammer like subtlety of the editors. Specifically at how these tired bitches can go on and on about a slight or an insult for 27 episode but when it comes to Ramona suddenly becoming a raging alcoholic…or in Orange County, Vicki and Donn’s marriage dissolving overnight there is no preamble, just boom! (and yes I know Ramona has been shown to be drunk at least once per episode since this franchise began, but for 3 years it was all fun and games and now in this episode, everytime she lifted a glass, everyone’s head would spin around and the the ominnous organ music would begin….we get it, we get it!)
@NWMTV, I don’t think that the blondes are flaming cunts. That could be the beginning of our differences right there.
@nwmtv– not for nothing but all the brunettes are also on their second (more?) marriages.
@ Veronica. Morrocco IS in Africa.
I have to agree with Oralphie,s comment above, why are we being instructed that Ramona was bad and Kelly acted sane on last years trip? Wth?!
@Veronica I don’t understand your comment. You do realize Africa is not a
country right?
Wait, Africa is NOT a country? No Child Left Behind=Epic Fail
Omg, ‘Cuntess’, the likeness between vag and couscous, ‘Jeel’ – I’ve laughed so hard my abs hurt (obviously I’m hardcore about working out if laughter burns). But my favorite is ‘ watermelon watermelon watermelon’. I remember doing that as a kid and it’s totally what they were doing. Thank you so much for this badass recap.
Oh, and I’m starting to think I’m strictly team Alex on this trip. She’s the only one that doesn’t take sides for the sake of taking sides and has the good sense to know that Ramona and Sonja were acting like idiots. I wonder if Kelly will be wearing anyone’s pelvic bones as a helmet once she undoubtedly goes off the deep end.
Two blondes without husbands, something I’m missing? Or is Simon not being counted as male? In any event, Ramona and Alex still have spouses.
I think I get Ramona. Jill, Luman and Kelly are all so dismissive and condescending of her although they aren’t in a position to be. None of those women have accomplished ANYTHING asided from marrying wealthy men who are at least 15 yrs their senior. In addition, they all have been busted or seen doing things that paint them in a less than favorable light. Jill pathological liar, Luman’s drunken crotch grabbing escapades and well Kelly. Who are these bitches to criticize Ramona? Successful business woman, married an attractive wealthy man her age and she has a well behaved good student for a daughter. Their constant insults and digs would bug me too.
Wish she would really go in on the lot of ‘em and stop with the cheap digs. Besides I think she would really feel better. Ha!
Yes Ro has her faults and emotionally lashes out. Just don’t think this would have happened if the others didn’t bring their bitch faces first.
I think what Veronica was saying was that at the end of last season, it said that after renewing her vows, Ramona went on a three week African safari with her girlfriends. I don’t think the country was specified. Either way, Ramona complained about Morrocco, saying she only likes to travel to luxurious places and most off all, she hated dust and dirt, not to mention her disdain with traveling to 3rd world countries where women aren’t respected. One then wonders why she would choose to visit a sub-Saharan African country for three weeks on a safari? It all just seems hypocritical.
@NWMTV: I wholeheartedly agree. I soooooooo hate that “I don’t mind a flaming cunt if she’s a cunt to my face” logic. Maybe it works for TV because it always leads to confrontation but I’m not sure people would be so accepting of this in their real lives. The minute they are told off by a colleague who was just “keeping it real”, they’ll go running to HR with their tails tucked between their legs.
I’d say most people, viewers included, are more like Luann than they care to admit. They see someone, a colleague or neighbor doing something foolish, and they NEVER go up to the offender and tell it like it is. They wait until later and discuss it with their girlfriends or husbands, like, “Can you believe so-and-so got so drunk at the holiday party?” Or, “What was Lisa wearing? Seriously, not cute.”
So, if you’ve never done this in your life, they by all means..cast the first stone.
That said, where’s my Pinot?
@sarcas — Sure, everyone and I do mean everyone has gossiped/let off steam/stratigized about friends/coworkers/whatever. Luann though goes beyond commiserating. Remember last year when she actively prevented Bethenny and Jill from making amends? Or telling Ramona she should confront Homo Cindy at the pony birthday party and then denying it? The countess is a bitch, my freens. And tone deaf but that is a subject for another post, lol.
That said, team blonde isn’t perfect. Ramona and Sonja would be embarrasing to travel with and are complete bitches themselves more often than they should be. Really, the only one I truly like on either side is Alex. She owns her freak, she is embarassed when she is bitch, and actually tries to grow into a better person. Not bad for the social climber, eh?
Hey everyone! Thanks for all of the comments! Love them! And I had no idea there was such a divide between teams. Shit’s getting good!
Do me a favor – I just created a Facebook page for these recaps. Visit it and “Like” and spread the goodness around. Thanks gasmi!
http://www.facebook.com/pages/Real-Housewives-of-New-York-City-Recaps-on-TVgasmcom/151997464868895
Jill is kind of a hypocrite (surprise!) about the “not respecting women” remark. She said something similar about going to Morocco and being Jewish in an interview before the season started. Maybe she just doesn’t remember because she didn’t have her list with her. If I find the link to that interview I am going to post it on the recap facebook page.
These guys don’t deserve to go to Morocco.
I do…I would actually appreciate it.
Hey Ms. Bitter! Table for one!
I am on team WTF right now – I know I will be watching these episodes with my mouth hung open in disbelief that 7 women could make countries rethink their tourism business.
Funny recap, Bbtiz! Thank you.
Frankly, I hate folks who are in the “keeping it real” business. It skeeves me to no end when a dingbat like Ramona thinks that it is her God given role to say stupid shit. Usually when she is three sheets to the wind. She is making me hate Pinot Grigio. Bitch is making me hate WINE???!!! Nah, that ain’t right.
Sonja continues to embarrass – little wonder we never see her daughter on this show. Jesus, when you make Kelly seem normal in a scene, then we are in trouble.
Luann DAHLING is a thug in a cocktail dress – but what’s new? I got a laugh out of that shot of her desk with what looks like a CD with her face on it. DAHLING, you never just leave out a CD by a tone deaf title obsessed twit. How gauche!!
Uggh…I could have done without the face shaving and stomach tightening sequence. It only serves as another way for Alex to remind us that she is a MODEL and to remind us that what Sonja probably needs tightening has ruined her table for good.
It looks like Cynthia has figured out the pecking order – she Jill’s bitch now?
Honestly, I hate it when people suggest that all women bag on their friends behind their backs. I don’t pull that crap, and I don’t hang out with people who pull that crap. These NYC chicks are embarrassing.
@LAC, I noticed the same thing! Lulu also had her book out next to her cd. Desperation is so declasse, dahling.
@Coffee – couldn’t agree more. This is reason numero uno I have like two female friends. Talking shit behind someone’s back is reminiscent of middle school and that bullshit that is ‘ keeping it real’ just means the person has no tact or consideration for the feelings of others.
What is up with Sonja showing up in workout clothes to lunch? This time she said that she was coming from the gym. A few weeks ago when she had another lunch date, she didn’t want to take her coat off because she had just come from yoga. The funny thing is that when she was doing the stomach tightening thing she admitted that her doctor had told her to exercise after the lipo but she hadn’t done anything.
My guess is that, like her dirty and messy house, Sonja is just a closet slob that walks around in sweatpants all the time.
As for the teams. For this episode I was Team Blonde, but I suspect that is going to change on an a weekly basis. LuAnne is getting set up as some sort of a villain/protagonist for the Morocco trip…I really hope the editors keep the DAHLINGS to a minimum, that crap is so contrived.
About the drumming scene at the spa:
Jill–she is such a loudmouth freaking bitch
Luann–her secret reveal was the opposite of what the guy wanted, she should have said: “well, you would never know it from the way I act, but I actually have children.”
Kelly–you are freaky about smells? How about cat pee Kelly? Do you notice the smell of cat pee?