RHONYC: Spanx You For Being a Friend!

54 Comments

1. 1
   TCM
   Posted April 9, 2011 at 12:52 pm

   Quick comment on Kelly’s opening an envelope line about the Mccords…Didn’t Bethenny say that in the first season??

2. 2
   thiajok
   Posted April 9, 2011 at 12:57 pm

   “LET’S BE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE UNTIL ONE OF US IS JUST AGGRESSIVE AND THE OTHER ONE CRIES!”

   My favorite game. I always pick the aggressive team.

   Great recap. Thanks for watching so I don’t have to break my word. I promised Miss Andy that if Krazy Kelly kame bakk I wouldn’t watch again.

3. 3
   sojo
   Posted April 9, 2011 at 1:11 pm

   Luanne’s boyfriend looks like a french version of Ross Gellar from friends!!!

4. 4
   TV Junkie
   Posted April 9, 2011 at 1:18 pm

   I love your recaps…how awful are the two crazy eye girls ??!! Alex worst and Ramona!!..Alex reminds me of the high school outsider who turns mean because that is that is how she was treated..and a model for what… Casket companies as the dummy inside???

5. 5
   MSquared
   Posted April 9, 2011 at 1:22 pm

   That opening of an envelope line is almost verbatim what Bethenney said in an earlier season.

6. 6
   NYCFan
   Posted April 9, 2011 at 1:24 pm

   Did Bethenny deliver the line about the Mccords going to “the opening of an envelope?” I thought she said Simon would crawl through a heating vent to get in to a party. Maybe she said both; but no way Kelly came up with that herself. Oh and Jill is such an obvious liar and her immaturity is embarrassing. How old is she?

7. 7
   Miss Molly
   Posted April 9, 2011 at 2:08 pm

   In Jerry Oppenheimer’s book (“Front Row: Anna Wintour: The Cool Life and Hot Times of Vogue’s Editor-in-Chief”) he quotes Vivienne Lasky as saying “she would go to the opening of an envelope” about Wintour’s days on the nightlife circuit in London circa 1960′s.
   It was also included in the movie “The Devil Wears Prada” which is probably where Bethenney heard it.

   I also really dislike the new girl. She has the SJP horse face thingy. If they ask her how old she is I am afeared she will tamp her hooves 51 times.

8. 8
   Bea from NJ (sweeetbea on twitter)
   Posted April 9, 2011 at 2:17 pm

   LOL!! Hilarious recap! Thank you so much for the laughs.

   I’m a stickler for details, just a few notes:
   -It was Kelly who said the photogenic, not pretty comment
   -Kelly copied a line of Bethenny’s from an earlier season with regards to Silex – Bethenny said ‘opening of a door’, Kelly said the envelope (which we now know came from elsewhere too).
   -Tunisha was not the girl who said she was sensitive in interview with Ramona, it was another girl altogether.

   Looking forward to many more recaps now that my favorite bitches are back!!

9. 9
   DagnyTaggart
   Posted April 9, 2011 at 2:45 pm

   Love the National Lampoon’s Christmas shout-out!

10. 10
    nyccookie
    Posted April 9, 2011 at 3:15 pm

    Yes–Bethanny said Alex and Simon would go to the opening of a door. Looks like Kelly has been studying her Bethannyisms!(with a twist)!

11. 11
    sunshine
    Posted April 9, 2011 at 3:35 pm

    Awesome recap BBitz! I am so glad you are recapping this shitshow! Or should I say goat rodeo? Jill was so ridiculous about being nice now. Bitch please….

    I love Ramona – she is horrible but funny to watch. At least she says it to your face. Jill talked about how she changed and learned from last season. Meanwhile the brilliant editors kept showing her talking smack about everyone. I could not believe the comment about Alex not really fitting in or belonging at the wedding. Really? I believe this is still America – not a country with a caste system (at least in theory). I can’t stand her but her true colors are coming through. Alex needs to tone it down – but I still like her.

12. 12
    Angela Parisi LaRoe
    Posted April 9, 2011 at 3:50 pm

    I loved the recap BBitz! I was so excited to see this show and I was in heaven watching it. It is my number one favorite, even with The Bethanney gone. I thought this season was going to suck without her but with Zarin bringing her up every 5 minutes, it is like she is still there.

    I am not sure about the new girl. I think she is not as stupid as the new girls on the OC (which is my 2nd favorite because it was the original Housewives) and I admire her having kids at her age. After watching the preview this season, I think I am going to despise her because I am a team Blonde member (Ramona, Sonja, and Alex and honorarily member Ms. Bethanney) and if she likes the Countess, Zarin, and Kelly, then I have no respect for her. How can you be friends with people who seem to be the most awful people one earth, at least on TV?

    Alex and Simon: I really despised them the first season. Simon gave me a bad vibe and Alex looked like she was one upchuck away from an eating disorder and her kids had weird names. However, after the Zarin fiasco, I am a total McCord groupie. The whole modeling thing is frighting but she doesn’t look that bad dressed up. She kind of looks like Skeletor with makeup.

    Sonja-I love her. I love women in their mid-50′s who are more sexual than a man. Her boyfriend is HOT too!

    Countess-Ugh. That song makes me ears bleed. After I listened to her song all the way through on my old computer, my computer hard drive crashed. I am not joking. She thinks she is high and mighty but my 3 year old having a dirty diaper is more classy than her.

    Ramona-!!! TURTLE TIME! She is the reason why people hate interviewing for jobs. Love her but more scared as well.

    Kelly: BWAHAHAHAHA. That girl is so psychotic it is scary. She really needs help. I liked her but she really is losing her marbles. I cannot believe she hasn’t been to a psych ward because if this happened in real life, you bet she would already be in a ward. I have no doubt she is a good mother and all that, but she really needs to think about going on medication. I know this from experience.

    Zarin-I went on her blog and read how all the people LURVE her and thinks she is the truest, most real person on the show. HAHAHAHA. The chick came up with a horrible lie to cover up another horrible lie and looked more like an idiot. Anyone could tell she was full of crap talking to Alex and it was quite embarrassing to witness. Just say you didn’t want to go! Also, her bit about Ms. B seemed fake and such a stupid setup. Grow up woman. We all lose friends. Smile when you see her and try to move on. It has been a year.

    However, I do have a TINY soft spot for her because I saw her on Celebrity Apprentice and Zarin helped Marlee Maitin. I have a small crush on her so when Zarin came to help her, she gained one point in my book.

    Anyway, I am so looking forward to this season. It has been too long and this might beat last season in craziness. I look forward to the recaps B!

13. 13
    Joy1333
    Posted April 9, 2011 at 5:08 pm

    Priceless Bbitz……”Bitch you’ve already burned enough bridges to make your own island”. Jill has always been the mean girl, bravo (ha!) to Alex for calling her out on her shit.

    Who in the world thought it was a good idea for Simon “to leave the hotel and start up a media company…” for shit’s sake?

    Great job Bitz…looking forward to next week. Thanks

14. 14
    Bridget Miller
    Posted April 9, 2011 at 6:15 pm

    About the envelope line: prior to Kelly saying it, Jill actually said it first to Bethany, Bethany continued the joke by saying that Simon would crawl through the heating ducts to get into a party, but I could be remembering it wrong. Either way, Kelly is definitely getting fed her opinions and lines from Jill. She is Jill’s new little puppet because all the other puppets were smart enough to go the Blue Fairy and get turned into real little harpies. Women.
    Glad to see that B-Bitz in the house of the Housewives. I can’t wait to see what happens once the show gets going and once your recaps get going because they have both had such stellar beginnings.

    It isn’t wonderful, sad, pathetic that Jill is still the same crazy, delusional bitch that she grew into during the last season. How can she claim that she is always nice. She is the nice one when she was constantly talking shit about all the other wives, well not all of them but Ramona and Jill. I guess she considers herself nice because she is sort of nice to her friends and since she doesn’t like Romana or Alex that doesn’t count. She can treat them however she wants.

    I also love that last season she was practically begging Bethany to take her back as a friend. After their lunch, the one where Jill brought potato latakes as her friendship present, she kept begging Bethany to plan another time for them to get together. She didn’t get it. Bethany was done. Now she is saying that Bethany was the one who made the mistake and had been in the wrong the whole time. Nope sorry Jill. You were the one who destroyed that friendship with your jealousy, raging insecurities, coupled with your immense ego and narcissistic attitude.

    Also I am not sure if people watched Miss Andy’s after show, but I strongly suggest you take a moment to check out what Jill is wearing. She is wearing an outfit from Madonna’s closet circa 1995. Well one of Madonna’s rejects. Also her hair was done up like Madonna’s during her Truth or Dare days. It was laughable. Whoever she surrounds herself with must really hate, to let her go out looking like she did. It seems that Jill’s latest business venture is selling lingerie/bustier type tops. If you the fug then you will like what Jill is selling.

    But Jill is still under the impression (however wrong and false that it may be) is that she is still the cute one, the adorable, nice, warm housewife. She still thinks that the story line is focused on showing how crazy Ramona is and that Simon & Alex are just pathetic wannabe. No one has given her new notes- hey you cunt. The show is now focused showing how terrible you are- you are now the bitch of the show and maybe even the crazy one. The editors are also going to try to highlight kelly being nuking futs, but I think that she is going to work hard at keeping all the voices inside and her lips away from the crack pipe.

    It is funny that Jill still think she is the Queen Bee. For awhile the Queen Bee is going to be the new girl because change always fucks with people and her presence is the one mostly to stir shit up. I thought the cigar comment made no sense and the New Housewife’ reaction was a bit over the top.

    Also I can’t believe you didn’t comment on Alex talking about modeling, when she said that she had two beautiful parents and she got luck in the gene pool. What gene pool is she swimming in? Because the patrons of my gene pool, don’t understand how she thinks she got lucky- not that she is hideous or ugly, but she isn’t even that pretty or beautiful and not even the model way- you know how some models look very strange/weird/unique. No, Alex is just kind of homely looking and I love Alex but a model she isn’t. Also her baby teeth drive me crazy. She does not have the teeth of an adult. I don’t understand what she is going to be doing- is there all of a sudden a need for 38 year old models that haven’t gotten rid of their temporary teeth, and bare a striking resemblance to skeletor from He-Man. I can’t imagine she isn’t hot demand. Maybe her and Simon are just trying to hide the fact that they are now making a living by being on the Housewives, so they just decided to pick to two jobs that sound cool (to them).

15. 15
    Meg
    Posted April 9, 2011 at 7:25 pm

    Kelly is incapable of an original thought….or to be honest…any thoughts at all. Nothin’ but air up there.

    But she has a new groomer in Jill. Oh good old Jill….always there with a helping hand…to those so beneath herself. Willing to hold the hand of a crazy person and guide her to The Jill House Of Worship. No one else likes her….and Kelly is too dumb to know when she is being used…so it’s a match made in heaven.

    Although it seems that Alex has finally woken up and realizes that standing back while all the world (read:Jill) steps all over you…I think she needs to do it more. If she stood on Jills balcony jutting out from her house of horrors makeover fiasco…with a bull horn…shouting insults at the top of her lungs for the rest of the season…it still would match the Jillinator.

    Face it…Jill started her bit*hfest long ago…and no one was spared. She didn’t even need the bullhorn. Whatever Alex throws her way…I can only hope smacks her dead in the face.

    Of course since Bawby is suddenly her bodyguard…and Jill needs to wrap his arms around her….as if he is some kind of force field…that will deflect all dirty looks and mean remarks from her…..and bounce back to …well Alex. Yup…Alex is the chosen one this season for the wrath of Jill.

    Afterall…she needs someone to take out her Jillously of Bethenny….and who better than someone who isn’t even in her class? It is weird that Lu is now treated like a second string bit player…now that she found a life and doesn’t need her protector Jill any longer.

    Yes….Kelly and Jill are a match made in Bravo heaven.

16. 16
    Amy Petrica
    Posted April 9, 2011 at 7:58 pm

    @Bridget I didn’t quite get the whole cigar comment either. Ramoner was saying there was something funny about Howie’s mouth and then I saw the new girl in the background and wasn’t sure what was going on. I’ll have to listen more carefully next time I see it. What could Ramoner have said that would piss her off the whole season, which is what the previews are leading us to believe. You just freakin’ apologize! And, Alex is laying it on a bit thick. She needs to back off a little and just sit back and collect some ammo that she use for appropriate occasions. Then, BAM. POW. Let ir rip! I think it would be more effective than to keep sniping all the time. Sonja really should let the “I’m a horny little trollop,” thing go already.

17. 17
    NotWithoutMyTV
    Posted April 9, 2011 at 8:21 pm

    Heh. I haven’t heard anyone call SJP “horseface” in a while. But I do really enjoy it when someone does. So thank you, Miss Molly, for giving me an evil laugh.

18. 18
    ohralphie
    Posted April 9, 2011 at 8:23 pm

    This is what I got from the cigar imbroglio….
    Ramonas friend X died last summer and his then fiance is now dating Howie, the new househos brother. Howie either said to Ramona or was overheard by Ramona joking at the wedding that he was now smoking one of Xs cigars. Ramona found that hurtful and insensitive. If that is what went down then Ramona is absolutely right and Howie is a complete dick.

    Anyhoo – great recap, bBitz – I’m so glad you’re back!

    I did think it was terribly ‘mean girl’ of Jill and the Countess to make fun of the march **while Alex was explaining it**. It would have been one thing to joke about showing up naked after Alex was done explaining her idea, but to make jokes and basically ignore Alex while she was speaking was beyond rude.
    I also dislike the new girl – Cindy?. I despise rich women with nannies who call themselves single mothers and sigh deeply about the unique trials and tribulations it brings. A single working mother is more in line with my MIL who had five children to raise while she worked a full time job, a part time job and went to school nights in a city 60 minutes away from where she lived. Without a nanny or a babysitter. She did have headstart, but I think the likes of Cindy or Camille Grammer would not really consider that ‘help’.

    Needless to say I am so very Team Blonde………….

19. 19
    sarcasatire
    Posted April 9, 2011 at 9:18 pm

    Yes, Amy, I agree that Alex should just pick her battles. What would be the point in trying to get a confession out of Jill when you can just point of her statements in your interview portion? She can’t even smile and pretend to be happy in Jill’s presence and she keeps looking for things to fight about. C’mon Alex..you were likable last season because you stood up for yourself..don’t go from protagonist to antagonist, please!

    Not only did Jill look a hot mess on WWHL, she and Ramona went at it ala the Miami reunion. Andy just stood back and let them go.. no curses, but one minute they are at each other’s throats, the next they love each other again.

    I still haven’t seen the entire episode so I don’t know much about the new girl yet. But she totally could’ve had those twins, despite her age.. remember those 60 yr old women getting IVF a few years back? Sure, not sensible..but totally possible.

    I don’t get that a single mother cannot call herself one if she is well off and has nannies? I mean, she has a job right? So…. childcare is naturally part of the equation. If she didn’t work, that’s one thing. But Cindy works, owns her own business, and her income alone supports her girls, her household, and their childcare. So, I find that she is a great example of a successful single mother.

    I’m looking forward to the season and to your recaps BBitz. I’m so glad you’re back! (And that you got promoted from DC to NYC. “You did good, son. You did real good.” )

20. 20
    Reality Viewer
    Posted April 10, 2011 at 5:54 am

    No offfense to Bbitz butI was disappointed in this recap. Where is Flipit? Actually it was Kelly who made the remark about photogenic vs. being pretty. Making fun of Cindy’s brother who may or may not be gay, was unnnecessary and not really funny (IMO). As for the show, Kelly is clearly sick (mentally) and obviously still very obsessed with Bethenny. Case in point her ridiculous youtube video’s she keeps posting. She is doing things from cooking (no Kelly you are NOT a chef), to decorating (since when is throwing faux fur over a chair deemed decorating), to her own drinks to fixing a toilet. She also used Bethenny’s quote regarding attending the opening of an envelope. No one believe’s Kelly’s lies that she was “playing a part of crazy because it makes for good tv”. Why Bravo even let this idiot back is mind boggling. She lied on the reunion about Bravo MAKING her go to “scary island” and Andy (one of the producers) said that wasn’t true. She basically called him a liar. She also lied that the producers had to have an “intervention” with Bethenny telling her to “lay off” Kelly. Yet the producers had to escort Kelly home because she was so unstable. As for Jill – no she hasn’t changed. I honestly believe she made Bravo promise that only positive comments be posted on the Bravotv website for her blog. Go anywhere else online and you see people bashing the eff out of her. Yet on Bravo, she is so wonderful. She is also back to making excuses: it is editing, the words at the wedding don’t match the track, the poll on WWHL was wrong because there was a problem with Sprint……I mean this woman is beyond delusional it’s sickening. She & Krazy Kelly deserve one another.

21. 21
    ohralphie
    Posted April 10, 2011 at 6:57 am

    @sarcas — I didn’t mean that she couldn’t say she was a single mother – clearly she is. My point is that it is ridiculous and disengenuous for a wealthy woman with live in help to don the mantle of single mother martyrhood and I resent it.

22. 22
    Where's My Coffee?
    Posted April 10, 2011 at 7:18 am

    I did not get the cigar thing either, and it seems that it wasn’t the new girl that heard it? It looks on the previews like NG’s brother is telling her about it after the fact.

    Jill looked downright embarrassing on WWHL. I wonder if she or Bethenny launched her shapewear line first? I liked Jill’s gutt puffing out in the lower part of the shirt. lol The fat’s gotta go somewhere!

    Enough already Alex! We know you found your voice. Now stick a cork in it. Constantly poking at Jill is going to backfire. It just makes Alex look petty and negative. A model???? LOL!!! She looks like she’s aged 10 years since last season. Her eye lids are all puffy and droopy. It’s probably from all that drinking in order to find more voice.

    The countess and her David Schwimmer look-alike boyfriend have the same haircut. And Sonya’s constant sex talk is already wearing thin. Those who brag usually aren’t getting any (unless they’re on a popular show, and their boyfriends want national exposure).

23. 23
    Where's My Coffee?
    Posted April 10, 2011 at 7:22 am

    ps, this was so damn funny that I bellowed out a laugh. It’s a good thing I wasn’t wearing Jill’s corset shapewear, or I’d have popped a few seams!

    “And then Kenny Loggins chooses the worst time to let an Ensure fart rip.” LOLOLOLOLOL

24. 24
    jersey4041
    Posted April 10, 2011 at 9:33 am

    As I said elsewhere, Jill is not going to be able to redeem herself. She probably could have flown under the radar and looked like Alex’s victim until she made the comment about Alex “socializing with people completely out of her league”…like who the F*&^% are you to dictate who could and should be talking to who?! This woman can’t understand why no one likes her and I wish someone would show her her performance and let her know its because she’s condescending. Like Camille she seems to think she can ‘help’ people or that people “NEED” her connections as if she’s some saint. I don’t enjoy watching people look bad on TV, like make an ass out of themselves but I enjoy it so much with her. She’s so bitchy and awful I love watching her fall and I hate myself for saying that.

25. 25
    TVCyn
    Posted April 10, 2011 at 12:10 pm

    I refuse to watch RHONY, even though it’s my fave. Why? I can’t stand Bethenny not being the counterweight to that hag Jill and psychopath Kelly. I will just read your comments. I swear whenever I see Jill I get this nasty attack and want to throw her off the Empire State Building. I have to go read an excerpt from The Secret just to get back on an even keel! (Love to everyone! – except Jill. Kelly gets pity love.)

    And Bbitz – “She’s so tone deaf she makes Rebecca Black look like Christina Aguilera.”.. Great. F@cking. Line.

26. 26
    sarcasatire
    Posted April 10, 2011 at 12:26 pm

    @ohralphie: I figured that it was Cindy’s financial independence that helped in her decision of becoming a single mother in the first place. She probably wanted to be married and have a family but time wasn’t on her side. Neither was a man. So, she decided to go ahead a become a mother and raise her children alone. I’m not sure if she considers it martyrhood but I’m sure there were some sacrifices made. But I don’t feel a woman should be denied the gift of motherhood if she so desires, man-less or not. (As long as she isn’t pennyless, lol.)

    As far as childcare, whether rich or poor, whether it’s a nanny or a relative, someone is helping most single working mothers raise their children. I mean, a mother of five, who works two jobs and goes to school…is probably not home a lot. So who cares for the children? A relative, perhaps. Not much different from a nanny (unless they work for free. Then they’re much, much better! )

27. 27
    sk
    Posted April 10, 2011 at 3:47 pm

    Anyone notice the Zarin wore the same blue dress (to Ramona’s party) as Lea Black wore to the Miami reunion? FYI, the “opening of an envelope” line was old when I was a teenager and that was thirty plus years ago. The shameless product promotion is getting on my nerves. Jill’s carrying on about her Spanx (in the wedding scene) was just about how she would “have to do it” herself. Also, who is buying Simon voluntarily “leaving” his job to start some BS web site? Give up a six figure income and med insurance for a family of four? Give me a break!

28. 28
    sarcasatire
    Posted April 10, 2011 at 4:28 pm

    @sk: Yes..I totally saw Jill using the Spanx comment as an opening to begin shilling her wares. And, I did notice that was Lea’s blue, one shouldered dress. Isn’t there a shitload of jewel toned one-shouldered dresses stored at Bravo that the ladies can just borrow at will? I mean, I feel like I keep seing the sames one pop up all over again, especially on the Countess. You know, since she’s poor and all.

    I read that Alex had lost her job and when I saw them working together in the basement, I figured Simon lost his, too. I don’t see him leaving a steady income when his wife has yet to secure some for herself (minus the show). Then again, these two don’t always think ahead. But I’ll be really sad if they ever end up in foreclosure.

    Wait!! The NYC gals don’t end up in foreclosure, do they? Every other franchise is practically homeless but it seems the City girls can live within their means. So, I’ll give you some credit, Alex. If you and Simon can work in the basement, seated on lawn chairs while using a dial up modem, and *STILL* pay your mortgage, then you definitely know what you’re doing.

29. 29
    ohralphie
    Posted April 11, 2011 at 5:20 am

    @sarcas – never questioned her reasons for being a single mother nor was I saying that noone ought to be a single mother. I just take exception to women who act as though ‘She Works Hard for the Money’ is her personal themesong and is playing everytime she walks into a room.
    Now let me make it clear – I know Cindy works hard for her money, but there is a difference working at a business you created and love and make buttloads of money from versus working a shit job making shit money and still barely able to cover the rent. Both may very well be single mothers, but only one has a right to complain on how hard it is.

30. 30
    thiajok
    Posted April 11, 2011 at 5:39 am

    Absolutely Ohralphie. I get your point.

31. 31
    LAC
    Posted April 11, 2011 at 7:41 am

    BBitz, what a funny recap! Ahh, the broads are back.

    My silly versions of their opening tag lines:

    Ramona: I may be bat shit crazy mean but your skin sucks and you dress like a hooker!

    Jill: I have changed for the better. Who told you otherwise? Bitch!!!

    Alexis: Damn the Sears catalogue – this model is not keeping quiet!

    Luann: I don’t apologize for being a privileged tranny, dahling.

    Sonja: Sonja loves being pounded by young men and young men love pounding the Sonja.

    Kelly: Sparkles!! I am up here and you are down there! Let’s run in traffic – YAY!!!

    Cindy: Neigh!! Winny!!

32. 32
    2Hyper
    Posted April 11, 2011 at 7:52 am

    So I refuse to watch RHONY for no other reason than I want to honestly look at people and say “I dont watch that” while feeling all smug and superior…while secretly knowing every detail how what happened. These recaps help me live the lie…thanks!

    Its just getting too embarrassing to say the most thought provoking and intriguing TV show I’ve watched all year is “Jersey Shore”. My whole TV line up is trashy reality shows.

33. 33
    Gypsy
    Posted April 11, 2011 at 8:47 am

    ***NOT SURE IF THIS WAS MENTIONED IN THE COMMENTS, SORRY IF IT’S A REPEAT***

    But…Was Jill ZARIN wearing the same dress Lea Black wore in the RHWOM LIVE REUNION show. I believe she is.

34. 34
    sheesh
    Posted April 11, 2011 at 9:49 am

    Sonya’s boytoy Brian…GOTDAYUM!

    @Gypsy…yes, same dress.

    Alex is going to get herself into a mess if she doesn’t learn how to pull back a little. Direct confrontation is not her usual MO, so she is failing miserably at it. She needs to watch some “Ru Paul’s Drag Race” and take notes on how to properly throw shade.

    Jill. (Sigh) It’s like she can’t help herself. Her outfit on WWHL was hilarious. Plus Ginger in a kimono to show support for Japan? I hit my head against the back wall I was rolling my eyes so hard.

    Ramona is a gift. I loved her speechlessness when Cindy cught her talking about her brother, just loved it.

    Kelly is so stupid I have no words (yet) on how stupid she is.

    Great job BBitz!

35. 35
    sarcasatire
    Posted April 11, 2011 at 10:13 am

    @Sheesh, I found out recently that Sonja’s ex-husband is 80 yrs old! Sonja is living the dream life..marry an old man for his money, leave him before he’s in diapers, then spend the rest of your years exploiting sexy, younger boys ‘on the come up!’ The beauty is that she doesn’t have to marry them..just have a bit of fun and move on. Well, there’s that alimony clause, too. But hey, the guys get cougar sex and possibly a free meal or two, so win-win!

    I wonder if Ginger still likes licking the insides of Jill’s nostrils..there’s more than one way to dig for gold.

36. 36
    jayem
    Posted April 11, 2011 at 10:32 am

    First of all, Alex is only 36?!?! Dude, invest in some sunscreen and plastic surgery. You look older that Jill and she’s like 50. Also, using every single minute of your time to find some reason to “call Jill out” is really lame and sort of ironic. I have a feeling the viewers are gonna be turning on her really soon if that’s her schtick all season.

    Sonya’s boyfriend is way too hot for her. Damn her!

    Like the new HW so far. We’ll see how she deals with these wackjobs. And just so you don’t think I turn a blind eye to Jill, I thought she was WAY out of line with her baby questions. It’s fine to be curious and ask, but she damn near gave her a verbal Pap Smear. Cindy handled it pretty well though, so ka-dooz to her.

    Jill’s new way of handling Alex is cracking me up. She just keeps smiling and shrugging. It’s kind of amazing. I don’t care if everyone hates her, I kinda dig her attitude of “Whatever.” If she keeps doing that to Alex and Ramona everytime she sees them, the comedy will be out of this world, watching them try to fight with someone who isn’t fighting back. I didn’t really get the whole Alex/Jill thing anyway, but Ramona purposely trying to bait Jill just proves how loathesome she really is. It’s more than a little laughable that everyone cosigns Ramona and Alex (and even Bethenney) being total assholes who hide behind being honest or real or whatever, but let Jill say one teeny little thing and she’s the biggest bitch ever. Ramona has said WAY worse things than Jill ever has. Count me on Team Brunette. (Team Blonde looks like it’s about to fall apart anyway when Alex and Sonya get into it.)

37. 37
    sheesh
    Posted April 11, 2011 at 11:13 am

    @sarcastire.
    I heard that about Sonya(ia?)(ja?)too!
    Well…”No fool like an old fool”.

    Speaking of fools. Alex a model? Really?

38. 38
    sarcasatire
    Posted April 11, 2011 at 11:23 am

    “No fool like an old fool”…my favorite kind! LOL

    I know..I’ve worked with models from NY Model Mgmt..they are a reputable agency and rep quality models. Perhaps they are booking Alex on celeb type shoots and just want a cut to manage her appearances. You know, the ones where she shows up as “Alex McCord” and not a beautiful, fashion model. Because she sure as hell won’t be getting any high fashion work. If gorgeous ass Cynthia (from RHOA) is doing backwoods plus-size catalogs, then there’s no hope for Alex. Unless Vogue needs a giraffe as a prop and can’t get one in time.

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    mick
    Posted April 11, 2011 at 11:56 am

    You guys – I just saw a publicity-type photo of the cast of that show Alice (from the early 80s) and Alex is Vera’s TWIN. They’re TWINS, I tell you!

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    mrswigglesworth
    Posted April 11, 2011 at 2:40 pm

    Love it, so funny!! You’ve really met your match with the RHONYC fans. They are sticklers for details.

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    bBitz
    Posted April 11, 2011 at 2:54 pm

    @ Reality Viewer: Sorry I disappointed! It must be something on your end because I’m unbelievably fucking hysterical. Maybe you blacked out from laughing and don’t remember it. However, I get paid upwards of a bajillion dollars for doing this so I’ll def try harder. Let me know what I can do differently. Other than be Flipit. I can’t do that. I stole his wallet once and tried but no one believed I was a 7 foot, buff & blonde, Nordic-looking, God.
    Btw I didn’t make fun of Cindy’s brother. I called him homo-bro when I thought he was gay and then not-a-homo bro when I realized he was straight. Not a crack. Nothing wrong with being a homo. I’m a homo everyday of the week.

    @LAC: LOVED your tag lines!

    @Bea: Thanks! I meant Kelly. I can’t tell you how many times I switched up the damn names before I edited. I might end up sticking to nick names. Thanks for keeping me honest.

    @Sunshine: You said “goat rodeo” and I literally shivered. Thank God they canceled that shit. I was afraid Flipit was going to blackmail me into doing it again.

    @Bridget: LOL I totally thought that about Alex’s parents. Sometimes I think things and forget to write it down. But yeah, I imagine her parents to be Cynthia Nixon and a giant forehead.

    @ohralphie: You reminded me I forgot to make a joke about the girls saying they’d walk naked. This would result in the largest mass suicide of people throwing themselves off the Brooklyn Bridge EVER.

    @sarcasatire: Thanks! Glad you’re commenting. I aim to please. Put me in coach! Put me in!

    @sheesh: LMAO at “throwing shade”. I LOVE THAT SHOW.

    @mick: I have no idea what any of that means but I love a conspiracy theory.

    @everyone else: Thanks for reading and commenting! Looking forward to a fun season!

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    kenzie
    Posted April 11, 2011 at 6:07 pm

    i found Alex nit-picking fights to be pretentious and annoying.. i was starting to like her last season too, hope she tones it down. The countess saying “alex found her voice and now its time for her to zip it” to be the funniest thing that hag has ever said.. I miss bethany. i really didn’t like her until last season.. and go figure she becomes an NYC housewife FINALLY and she’s off the show.. good for her carrying her own show AND more successfully than RHONY though. Ramona and Alex friends? holy shit that’s weird. I like how Jill just shrugs off Alex. let’s hope that keeps happening. though something tells me she’s just bottling up and will explode mid season ahah. I really wish they get rid of Kelly. she’s so egotistic and bat shit crazy she’s a liability. Sonja!! god i’m jealous. she looks great for her age and gets the hottest guys. YUMMY!!! haha but BBitz i found your comment on her marking these men hilarious cause i agree.

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    fancyface
    Posted April 11, 2011 at 6:12 pm

    Did anyone hear Jillousy call Cindy a ‘baby mama’ @ her art party or am I just hearing condescending, judgemental bullshit by mistake? It was during one of those coming up segments when they show what’s in the next scene, the one after Silex’s scene in their office/basement. Can somebody tell me if I’m crazy or really did hear that piece of vile insult come out of her hate-filled mouth? Because if she did….no words for her ignorance and I hope Cindy really rethinks her ‘friendship’ with her after viewing this show.

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    shayne
    Posted April 11, 2011 at 10:55 pm

    I personally loved the controversy over whether Jill knew or did not know Alex was coming to that wedding. Though she vowed to Alex that she knew she was coming, when Alex dug, I distinctly heard Jill gasping and “Oh my God-ding” upon seeing Alex drive up with Ramona. She totally lied about that, clearly. And…with her Alex is socializing at a party above her station comment she was channelling her best bud Kelly’s “I’m up here, you’re down there” spiel to Bethenny of seasons past. Your true colors are shinning through, Jill!

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    Libithina
    Posted April 14, 2011 at 10:37 am

    Watching first season of RHONY…what happened to gay husband Brad?

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    sarcasatire
    Posted April 14, 2011 at 10:47 am

    I think Jill dumped Brad after he renovated her home and she became the laughingstock of the cast/viewers because of her obviously poor taste in metallics, mirrors, and busy wallpaper. And to think people made fun of Alex/Simon’s renovation, lol. I think Jill’s was worse because she had letter tables that said ‘POP.’ I mean, isn’t she a lil mature for such silliness?

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    Thatswhatshesaid
    Posted April 17, 2011 at 6:38 pm

    I am definitely late to the party. I just watched week 1 & 2 back to back. Few things: 1) I also thought Cindy’s brother might be gay. 2) The cigar thing @ the wedding definitely confused me, but I knew the tryst tvgasm recapper would make all things clear (and how AWESOME that it’s Bbitz!!!) Ramona took forever to get her story out. 3) The relationship between Cindy & her brother seemed a bit “too close” to me. And the fact that his girlfriend was confused by many (including me at first) to be Cindy is creepy and telling. He might still be gay, or just extremely passive when it comes to women (not that they are the same thing – no misunderstandings please) being that he seems to be constantly bullied by Cindy. No wonder she’s single??? She’s not exactly a “soft place to land”. Sorry for any typos. iPad – can’t edit. Can’t WAIT to read week 2′s recap!!!

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    Thatswhatshesaid
    Posted April 17, 2011 at 6:40 pm

    Ahem, *TRUSTY* not “tryst” SMH.

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    maryedith
    Posted April 18, 2011 at 1:17 pm

    Someone else mentioned this, but to reiterate — that was not Cindy with Howie during the cigar thing. It was some chick they all referred to as Carol. Ramona seemed more angry at Cindy for telling Howie that the cigars were her dead friend’s than she was at Howie for smoking them. Why Carol was so mad at Ramona for talking about it I have no idea.

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    wherewordsfail
    Posted April 19, 2011 at 10:31 am

    You know what REALLY gets to me? Kelly’s comment about Simon/Alex going to “the opening of an envelope.” WHY? BECAUSE BETHENNY SAID THE EXACT SAME THING ABOUT THEM IN SEASON 2. Bitch needs to get her own material and REALLY needs to get it from someone other than the woman she hates. UGH.

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    sarcasatire
    Posted April 19, 2011 at 10:36 am

    I think that saying is pretty common, WWF. I was watching the Upside Down Show (Nick Jr, anyone?) and one of the guys said the other would attend the ‘opening of a drawer.’ Yes, Kelly may be repeating Bethenny, but I don’t want to give Bethenny that much credit, like she made it up.

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    Jason Lau
    Posted April 19, 2011 at 5:57 pm

    Spin art… amazing!

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    PrincessDaisy
    Posted April 20, 2011 at 8:26 am

    Yay!! I have found a brilliant new recapper! Great job .. “spin art” brought me back.. Remember ” clackers”? I still miss them!
    Thanks for the wit & laughs!

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    Bobbi Jo Woods
    Posted April 20, 2011 at 7:59 pm

    Hey, bBitz!

    I’ve been watching these Howives of NYC since their inception, and that’s when I started going back and looking for RHOC episodes, because I was late to the DirecTV game…and RHONYC was the first show I’d ever seen (I moved in 2008 and didn’t have Bravo on my cable at the old place).

    Thanks to the wonders of the Interwebz, I am all caught up But this is the first time I started reading recaps for either show. Thanks for the fun recap! Look forward to more…you’re doing a fantabulous job ♥