Rock Of Love Something Extra

Rock of Love

By ChickBomb | Tuesday, September 25, 2007 | 9:58 am | 28 Comments

So dolls, are the programmers at VH1 the biggest teases ever or what? No Rock of Love finale, no reunion show….no, this week all we got was a damn clip show. Way to stretch out the franchise. And what a gyp!

Bret4

Ouch. This flashback hurts.

Ooooh, and speaking of stretching out the franchise, thanks to one of our tres fab commenters, we got a line on what we’ve all been waiting for…Rock of Love 2! I don’t think it’s Bret, and based on the intrepid reporting I did in tracking down the Craigslist ad, my money’s on Nikki Sixx from Motley Crue. This would present a problem for cappin’, cause my love for Nikki kind of never really died, but whatever, we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.

200Px-Nikki Sixx

I want to sleep under this bridge.

Anyway, just cause I didn’t want to want to recap some lame clip show doesn’t mean that I can’t still provide some skankertainment. So, I made excellent use of my time this afternoon, cruised the hos’ Myspace pages (cause I’m cool like that) and compiled a list of my favorite quotes.

Before I get to that, I just want to point out the similarities I found between all the pages. First, they have all clearly hired the same air brusher from VH1.com to do their Myspace pages. Second, they all have random “managers” – mostly in the 818 area code, which means the Valley, which means PORN! Lastly (and this came as no surprise) most proudly include Pauly Shore and Jeff, the spiky hair dude from Sunset Tan, as “friends”. See all the places Celebreality can take you? They’ll be upgrading to K-Fed in no time.

And I would also like to send a WTF out to Badass Brandi M., Cool Sam, Grandma Rodeo and Hooters Erin for setting their pages to “Private”. Seriously girls, what was the point of whoring yourself out on cable reality only to get private on Myspace?

That said, and without further ado, I give you the top twelve Rock of Love Hos’ Myspace quotes:

12. Mia – I’d like to find a guy who will lie under the stars and listen to my heartbeat.

11. Jessica “Simpson” – I graduated from college.

10. Tamara – Nothing. Literally, her page says nothing.

9. Streaky Tawny – Yes, I am a model.

8. Sidekick Kristia – A girl should be two things – classy and fabulous.

7. Annoying Brandi C. – You’re just jealous.

6. Clown Whore – A lot of people say I look like Carmen Electra.

5. Magdalena Legs – Thanks for making me famous.

4. Dallas – I am not famous. My goal was never to be famous.

3. Psycho Rocker Herpes Lacey – I bet money to every single person that if you spent 10 minutes with me in real life, you’d probably find me to be sweet, funny and kind-hearted.

2. One S Jes – Status: In a relationship.

1. Flasher – Status: Single.

SPOILER ALERT (select section with your mouse to read): I would also like to say that my crack reporting uncovered the information that the person One S is in a relationship is not Bret, but some random clothing designer. Where does that leave Flash? I don’t know. I also don’t know how I will survive the next six days waiting to find out. Get those shots of Jack ready, dolls, and get ready to rock one last time…

About

28 Comments

  1. 1
    cattyfan
    Posted September 25, 2007 at 10:20 am

    I wouldn’t be surprised if they got Evel Dick from BB to host it next…

  2. 2
    suedisco
    Posted September 25, 2007 at 10:22 am

    ChickBomb, thanks for indulging my summer trash TV love with your glorious recaps of “Rock of Love.” I’d say Nikki Sixx is an excellent bet…he’s whoring out a book right now, is on the intelligent/articulate side, and like you, my love for him has never quite died. Viva la Rock of Love II! Also, why do I get the idea that the producers had enough Lacey material for an hour clip show just about her antics?

  3. 3
    mle428
    Posted September 25, 2007 at 11:13 am

    Thanks for your excellent reporting. I totally thought Clown Whore looked like Carmen Electra…

  4. 4
    wintersux
    Posted September 25, 2007 at 11:41 am

    I feel stupid…I thought that Nikki Sixx was still married to Donna D’Errico… I hate to admit it, but I’m more of a Tommy Lee girl.

  5. 5
    teetle
    Posted September 25, 2007 at 3:20 pm

    Great…I just spent an hour looking at their myspace pages now. Flasher’s page actually says in a relationship actually. Her fan club page says single but her’s says relationship

  6. 6
    oneSjes
    Posted September 25, 2007 at 5:40 pm

    Chickbomb…sadly I also checked the myspace pages after the recap…how can you get enough of Lacy? And I had the same questions…private? WTF

  7. 7
    ugycutie
    Posted September 25, 2007 at 9:43 pm

    I’m with wintersux, I’m a Tommy Lee girl too! That would be an awesome show. That guy would stick it anywhere. Imagine the girls who would audition. DAYUM!!

    I don’t care what Lacey says, she’s a psycho bitch from hell. All the proof I needed was the way she acted with her folks. Her sedated attitude was actually scarier than her “evil” plotting.

    Who was that really pretty girl who was really dumb? She was the one who made no sense and even tried walking out of the wrong door when she was booted. Reminds me of that question, “Would you rather be beautiful and stupid or smart and ugly?” Sooooo…like I said…she’s really pretty.

  8. 8
    Katrina Patina
    Posted September 26, 2007 at 5:17 am

    Did Brandi C. really say “You’re just jealous” or did she say “Your just jealous”?

  9. 9
    MichyPR
    Posted September 26, 2007 at 11:36 am

    Ugh, I hate Lacey. I read somewhere that she got on stage at a club and people started pelting her with ice.
    Anyways, I wouldn’t mind if ROL2 had either Tommy or Nikki, I like them both, both very hot guys lol. I can’t wait for the finale, I’m really rooting for Jes if only to see Flasher’s face when she realizes she has the name of the guy who rejected her on national tv tattooed on the back of her neck.

  10. 10
    Donna Martin Graduates!
    Posted September 26, 2007 at 12:17 pm

    Good point, KP (#8) — I’m betting the former.

    Hey, CB — that was an especially neat trick with the “select section with your mouse to read”

    hellakewl

    I’d never seen that before (then again, I don’t get out much…)

  11. 11
    uglycutie
    Posted September 26, 2007 at 12:42 pm

    I’m either computer-illiterate or just plain stupid because I didn’t get the last part of this piece…”select section with your mouse to read”. Am I missing some type of update or something? Can someone tell me what this does? Thanx.

  12. 12
    2 Old 4 This
    Posted September 26, 2007 at 1:16 pm

    Didn’t Poison & The Crue have some kind of band feud back in the day?

    Funny that members of each would be chosen for ROL

  13. 13
    2 Old 4 This
    Posted September 26, 2007 at 1:19 pm

    Didn’t Poison & The Crue have some kind of band feud back in the day?

    Funny that members of each would be chosen for ROL

  14. 14
    2 Old 4 This
    Posted September 26, 2007 at 1:22 pm

    Didn’t Poison & The Crue have some kind of band feud back in the day?

    Funny that members of each would be chosen for ROL

  15. 15
    Donna Martin Graduates!
    Posted September 26, 2007 at 3:41 pm

    uglycutie – it you pick the ‘select’ button on yr mouse, hold it down and run the mouse over the white space after the words “…select section with your mouse to read,” then the spoiler (2 or so lines of text, in blue) will be revealed.

    a very kewl technique.

  16. 16
    BlahBlah
    Posted September 26, 2007 at 7:59 pm

    I heart ChickBomb! Awesome ROL recaps and non-spoiler trick. I wish more recappers would let us CHOOSE to be spoiled.

  17. 17
    Memememe
    Posted September 26, 2007 at 9:34 pm

    Tommy Lee is already played out on Rock Star or whatever it was called. Nikki is Donna D’Errico’s ex-husband, according to Wiki.

    As for ROL2, Crazy Axl Rose would be a better choice than either of those guys. Or Jani Lane, that neurotic from Celebrity Fat Camp. But he doesn’t rock much, really.

    Oooh, how about Dave Navarro? Then they could accept both men and women as contestants.

  18. 18
    MichyPR
    Posted October 1, 2007 at 6:06 am

    I would love it if Axl did it but then I would probably lose respect for him as a musician…still that would be f’in sweet!! Saw the finale last night, can’t wait for the recap!!!

  19. 19
    sillage3
    Posted October 2, 2007 at 11:34 am

    Is someone going to post the new episode already. I saw it, but I want to know what everyone else thought about his decision and if there will be a recap of the reunion on Sunday? Can’t wait to watch and see if the couple is still together…..

  20. 20
    sillage3
    Posted October 2, 2007 at 11:38 am

    is anyone going to post the new episode already? I want to know what everyone thought about it and if there will be a recap of the reunion show airing this sunday?

  21. 21
    sillage3
    Posted October 2, 2007 at 12:08 pm

    when is someone going to post the new episode. Saw it, it was good. I want to know what everyone else thinks about who he chose. is there going to be a recap of the reunion show that airs this sunday?

  22. 22
    Bonesie
    Posted October 8, 2007 at 9:53 am

    Um… What are you guys talking about? It’s been confirmed for weeks now that Tommy Lee is going to be the star in Rock of Love 2, not Nikki Six. The auditions start soon.

  23. 23
    flipit
    Posted October 8, 2007 at 10:12 am

    congrats! you won hepatitis! come on down!

  24. 24
    LoLo
    Posted October 10, 2007 at 5:34 pm

    FYI Bret has signed on for ROL 2! A story in today’s NY Post says they’ve already put out the casting call, and the show is expected to begin taping really soon. :)

  25. 25
    elayne
    Posted November 2, 2007 at 1:46 pm

    Hi!! I absolutely loved reading your hilarious recaps of the show. My boyfriend and I dressed up as Bret and (Psycho Rocker Herpes) Lacey for Halloween — the photos are on flickr.com under username “024″ and “rock of love” tag.
    :-)

  26. 26
    elayne
    Posted November 2, 2007 at 1:49 pm

    Hi!! I absolutely loved reading your hilarious recaps of the show. My boyfriend and I dressed up as Bret and (Psycho Rocker Herpes) Lacey for Halloween — the photos are on flickr.com under username “024″ and “rock of love” tag.
    :-)

  27. 27
    elayne
    Posted November 2, 2007 at 1:51 pm

    Hi!! I absolutely loved reading your hilarious recaps of the show. My boyfriend and I dressed up as Bret and (Psycho Rocker Herpes) Lacey for Halloween — the photos are on flickr.com under username “024″ and “rock of love” tag.
    :-)

  28. 28
    sillage
    Posted December 11, 2007 at 10:36 am

    Did anyone see the previews for the Rock of Love 2? These girls look even more slutty than the first seasons.

    Can’t wait to find out when it begins. Until then….

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