Error: Twitter did not respond. Please wait a few minutes and refresh this page.
Boombie’s having a great time doing tricks with his yo-yo (like “Walking The Dog” and “Around The World” and “Up The Little Tramp’s Ass”) until that mealy-mouthed baby-loser Queenie Klink reminds him that he’s actually breaking his own law. Boombie, fearing that he’s just been “bambuzzled” orders Kris be arrested for realsies this time, but Kris makes a run for it (with his loyal dumbass sidekick, Topper) through the middle of the soldiers and his giant sack knocks them all down…
It turns out that all those animal-lessons paid off, because as he’s escaping up the trees over the roofs and down the walls, Boombie’s noticing how Kris “climbs like a sqvirrel, leaps like a deer, and is a slippervy as a seal” and orders the SSW boys to get up off their pansy asses and capture him! Ahh, but Kris makes it into the forest before the soldiers can catch up. They take one look and declare that amongst all that white snow they’ll never find a guy in a bright red suit with a loud-ass honking penguin, so they turn around and go home. Lazy motherfuckers.
Meanwhile, Kris and Topper The ‘Tard have slowed down to catch their breath and figure out where they are…
But Kris can, and immediately after he realizes they are on DubDub’s turf, one of the trees comes to life and grabs him and Topper! Then DubDub magically appears (to the tune of “Dark Lady”!) and says that now that he’s captured Kris he’ll never get away…. and does he believe in life after love? Mwuhahahahahaha! Fade to black.
After 34 commercials telling us to buy stuff (and one hilarious ad for credit counseling and promises to get you out of debt) we come back to Kris trying to talk DubDub into getting the tree to let him go so he can give him something…
It’s no secret, all that heavy drag makeup is hell on your pores. Anyhow, Kris says he’s saved back one special toy that he wants to give to DubDub, but he needs to call off the Terror Trees first. DubDub is so touched that anyone would want to give a mean old drag queen warlock a toy that he immediately complies. Then Kris hands DubDub…
Kidding! Naturally DubDub has always wanted to have his very own choo-choo train! Because having teleportation powers and Terror Trees as pets just isn’t the same thing as having a hunk of cheaply painted wood that barely rolls on linoleum, let alone snow. He actually kisses the train (ohhhhhh-kaaaaaay?) and then starts to cry, which tells me he needs to up the dosage on his Lexapro. Suddenly, his cold hard exterior flushes away in a cascade of tears… his icy heart has melted! Also, it looks like he’s lost about 75 pounds (and 2 feet of height)! Whoa, you mean crying is all it takes to lose weight?!?? I am forced to see my fat ass in the mirror every damned day, it brings on hysterics and depression, why don’t I look like Karen Carpenter yet? This is pissing me off. Wait, what are we talking about again?