Shahs of Sunset Recap: Cabo + Syphilis – A Cure = Persian Cher

Shahs of Sunset

By plockness monster | Tuesday, January 15, 2013 | 1:25 pm | 19 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Recaps, Shahs of Sunset

GG arrives at the venue where she is throwing HER party. She begins to freak out because none of the people she has hired have shown up. GG calls her mom to yell at her because that seems like the most logical thing to do in this situation.

Mike decided to rent a yacht for the Shahs to enjoy for the day. Man, these Persians never do anything half ass. I love that Mike points out that there is no gold or marble on the boat. Asa has decided to wear a thong bikini for this outing. She doesn’t look great, but I love that she totally rocks it. No pants for her.

This boo-tay is jui-say.

For a second, I think PC will be tolerable. She says she loves a curvy girl that loves her body, but in the same breath, she basically says Asa has a fat ass. At this point, I am praying that Persian Cher will drown in the ocean, but then I remember she has two flotation devices sewn into her chest. Sigh. Oh yay, PC is still talking. Now we learn she has been yachting all over the world. It seems that she can’t actually remember where because she can only name two places. She tells us she wasn’t born on a yacht, but she was born TO yacht. Shut. Up. Jesus, then she orders a virgin margarita. Do y’all understand where all of my hate is coming from now? I can’t be the only one who wants to kill this bitch. The boat anchors and everyone takes turns jumping off of the side. MJ tries to do a front flip, but ends up busting on her back. Definitely not the first time that’s happened. Hey-oh! A private chef cooks up some lunch, and we are treated to another intelligent Persian Cher conversation. I feel like I need to mention that the majority of these conversations are one-sided. She’s getting old, y’all! Almost thirty! She thinks it’s time for her to get some type of laser treatment to tighten the skin Around her ass. What ass? She weighs, like, 85 pounds, and most of that weight is hair and plastic. She tries to convince Asa to go with her. After all, crazy recognizes crazy, but Asa tells her she is perfectly happy with the body she has now. The gang discusses their plans for the rest of the day. Nap, shower, dinner, club. MJ is ready to go out and dance her flabby ass off.

And boom goes the dynamite.

It is one hour until the GG’s Extension launch party. No one that she has hired has arrived to set up. Finally, John walks in the door, and tells GG to relax. She heads to a back room to get ready. Omid stops by to give her something created by her favorite designer. If you guessed that it is gold jewelry, then give yourself a pat on the back. Better yet, take a shot. You deserve it after that Persian Cher rant! Also, I would like to point out that Omid appears to have one of those feather things in his hair that was popular with middle school girls last summer. Finally, GG is ready to greet the masses in the ballroom, but there is maybe twenty people there. Everyone is messing around on their iPhones, and there is one random Asian chick playing with a Rubix Cube. Since everyone knows the cool people arrive at least an hour late, guests start to trickle into the party. Leila walks in. I am surprised at how negative she is being. She balks at the hair extension booth and gags when she tries GG’s signature drink, the GG Manhattan. So, when GG mentioned she invited famous people, she was referring to F-list celebrities, like washed up porn star Jenna Jameson? As GG talks to another F-lister, Alex, her ex, walks in. They recently broke up, and GG tells us that she felt like she needed to invite him because he is still a part of her life. We soon learn the real reason she invited him was to make Omid jealous. It works as Omid asks his friend what’s up with GG and the “English guy.” Side note: I thought English was a term Omid used to refer to white people, and then I realized that Alex is actually from England. Lol.

F-listers have to stick together.

My thoughts exactly, Leila.

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I am here for your amusement. 

19 Comments

  1. 1
    Sam
    Posted January 15, 2013 at 3:13 pm

    I think Mike was spot on with his comment to PC on the yacht – “theres not anything wrong your legs, there something wrong up here (referring to her head)” lol.
    Honestly it doesnt really bother me if MJ pops the occasional pill or not, she’s hilarious and I love her even more after this episode. Her talking heads where she was talking about PC had me laughing so hard, and she really is the life of the party. Love her.

    As for how Sammy managed to (probably) get laid – I figured those were just some Cabo hoes who found their way off the street and into the club.

  2. 2
    labowner
    Posted January 15, 2013 at 3:30 pm

    “This boo-tay is jui-say.” – Now I have The PJs show stuck in my head.

    I was farking livid when PC called MJ an addict. Where in the fark does she get off? I hope one of her boobs pops. Go away. Not sure which one I detest the most Asa, Reza or PC.

    Reza again showing what an ass he truly is. Asa is head case. Why do her and Reza think it is okay to just shit on MJ and treat her like crap?

    Go GG. Congratulations on the party working out as well as it did. Momma GG is gorgeous. Was her sister no longer pregnant at the party? Interesting to see the rest of the season unfold as GG has me thinking every thing does a 180 by seasons end.

  3. 3
    Aunt Dorsey
    Posted January 15, 2013 at 4:59 pm

    Just when I was so over seeing Beyonce in all her onesie splendor, now we’ve got MJ. If only she’d pull it out of the crack of her ass, I could live with it. Lily is beyond annoying, I wanted to get a wooden spoon from the kitchen and play whack-a-mole with EVERY talking head she did. Or at least play operation and take her adenoids out.

    But Reza ought to be shot for going through MJ’s purse. What a POS. What were there, four mis-matched pills? I wish Lily would STFU, she chimes in an awful lot for someone who doesn’t know MJ at all. I did love Asa telling her she was just fine with her body. Lily ought to be careful, lasers melt plastic.

  4. 4
    Aunt Dorsey
    Posted January 15, 2013 at 5:04 pm

    Oh crap, that photo of Lily looks like a butch poodle. Great recap by the way!

  5. 5
    ius2bmargo
    Posted January 15, 2013 at 8:46 pm

    I thought the same thing about the “English guy” comment too!

    Sammy probably offers to pay for many drinks…

    PC’s personality is as annoying as her voice.
    I do love Asa’s confidence

  6. 6
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted January 15, 2013 at 9:42 pm

    @Aunt Dorsey She used to be part butch poodle!

  7. 7
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted January 16, 2013 at 5:27 am

    Why the hell do you need such a big purse, in the club, in Mexico?!?!!? What did you bring? Do you try to limit the items you bring on the plane? Like you don’t have the regular sized lotions, perfume, baby wipes, hand sanitizer etc, so really all you need is a decent sized clutch?!?!?!

    If you don’t want a 15K purse to get sweaty then don’t bring it to the club where people dance and I don’t know…get sweaty!!!

  8. 8
    Aunt Dorsey
    Posted January 16, 2013 at 6:57 am

    @ Classy Drunk, Lily carries around a bicycle pump in case she springs a leak and needs to blow herself back up. Those sexy blow-up dolls are actually pretty fragile.

  9. 9
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted January 16, 2013 at 7:09 am

    @aunt doresy…that make sense. If someone carries a bag that big to the club I am trying to put my flask in the bag to save on drinks. Am I the only one who does this?!!?!? I am…ok…I was just kidding.

  10. 10
    Aunt Dorsey
    Posted January 16, 2013 at 8:04 am

    @kthzbai Persian Barfie is working that Dog Collar! (oh, like your handle, one of my favorite drinks…)

    @Classy Drunk I prefer mine loaded with bourbon, preferably not Old Doorknob, too pricy for me.

  11. 11
    MsMmm msmmm
    Posted January 16, 2013 at 9:20 am

    @ClassyDrunk: I couldn’t agree with you more! What a tool she is. Seriously I usually try to DOWNSIZE when I go out. Who wants to lug a big ole sack around all night? ESPECIALLY a $15K Hermes? What a dumb-a$$!

    I am keeping my fingers crossed that this will be her first and LAST season!

  12. 12
    Jason
    Posted January 16, 2013 at 9:58 am

    Everyone on this show needs to downsize.

    Asa needs to drop 100 lbs off her fat ass and thighs.

    Persian Barbie needs to puncture her giant titties.

    Reza needs to drop 10 lbs off his swollen head and 50 lbs off his fat ass.

    MJ, however, needs to upsize and wear a one piece burkini.

    Mike needs to wear a tiny speedo so we can see what he’s packing.

  13. 13
    labowner
    Posted January 16, 2013 at 10:04 am

    Jason you forgot about GG.

  14. 14
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted January 16, 2013 at 11:08 am

    also Lilly just stood there. It’s as if she’d never been to a club before. People dance and get drunk and sweaty at a club. Are there clubs where this doesn’t happen and if there are I don’t want to go.

  15. 15
    plockness monster plockness monster
    Posted January 16, 2013 at 11:51 am

    Y’all always make the best comments! Love it.

    I forgot to point out that, once again, the timeline doesn’t make since. It takes longer than a few days to plan a party, yes? So why would GG plan a party at the same time she was supposed to go to Cabo? The editing made it look like the party and Cabo were the same weekend.

    Persian Cher wears wigs. I want to know who told her the butch poodle (Lololol, Auntie D!) wig looks good. She is always wearing it during her talking heads.

    Sam – I agree with you, Mike’s comment about Persian Cher was spot on. It’s not body problems, it’s ALL mental!

    Jason – I am not saying that Mike has ever posed nude OR taken a nude picture of himself, but I will try my damnedest to find a naked Mike pic just for you!

    Lab – Mama GG is gorgeous! Maybe the producers will replace PC with GG’s mom. Wishful thinking…

    ius2bmargo – I am so glad I wasn’t the only one that thought that about the English guy comment!

    msmmm – I am the same way when I go out. Downsize all the way! I switch out my giant hobo purse for a little clutch. Who wants to keep up w/ a suitcase when you are trying to get your freak on on the dance floor?!

    Classy Drunk – Haha, Classy! All clubs ARE like that, unless we are talking about a book club, and I highly doubt PC belongs to a book club, let alone knows how to read a book.

    Aunt D – You are cracking me up this week – “Lasers melt plastic.”

  16. 16
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted January 16, 2013 at 12:00 pm

    @Plock,

    you don’t think Cabo and the party were the same weekend? I think they were because if not then Mike would have been there for sure. He still has hope for GG.

  17. 17
    plockness monster plockness monster
    Posted January 16, 2013 at 1:21 pm

    You’re right, Classy, Mike would be there. Also, GG actually said she was going to plan a party for the company b/c she was uninvited to Cabo. Maybe the time inbetween MJ’s b-day and the trip was longer than production lead on?? I just don’t see how GG put that party together in like, 4 days.

  18. 18
    mere2142
    Posted January 17, 2013 at 1:45 pm

    Did anyone else notice that GG’s event had cash bar? Seemed like if you wanted people to buy your shitty extensions you could spring for a few drinks!

    PC is so fucking annoying. She can go back to Texas at any time now!

  19. 19
    Derek Hazelton
    Posted January 18, 2013 at 6:22 pm

    Did anyone see MJ on WWHL? She mentioned that her and Reza are not speaking and that Shahs will get Housewives treatment with a live reunion. I can’t wait!

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