GG arrives at the venue where she is throwing HER party. She begins to freak out because none of the people she has hired have shown up. GG calls her mom to yell at her because that seems like the most logical thing to do in this situation.
Mike decided to rent a yacht for the Shahs to enjoy for the day. Man, these Persians never do anything half ass. I love that Mike points out that there is no gold or marble on the boat. Asa has decided to wear a thong bikini for this outing. She doesn’t look great, but I love that she totally rocks it. No pants for her.
This boo-tay is jui-say.
For a second, I think PC will be tolerable. She says she loves a curvy girl that loves her body, but in the same breath, she basically says Asa has a fat ass. At this point, I am praying that Persian Cher will drown in the ocean, but then I remember she has two flotation devices sewn into her chest. Sigh. Oh yay, PC is still talking. Now we learn she has been yachting all over the world. It seems that she can’t actually remember where because she can only name two places. She tells us she wasn’t born on a yacht, but she was born TO yacht. Shut. Up. Jesus, then she orders a virgin margarita. Do y’all understand where all of my hate is coming from now? I can’t be the only one who wants to kill this bitch. The boat anchors and everyone takes turns jumping off of the side. MJ tries to do a front flip, but ends up busting on her back. Definitely not the first time that’s happened. Hey-oh! A private chef cooks up some lunch, and we are treated to another intelligent Persian Cher conversation. I feel like I need to mention that the majority of these conversations are one-sided. She’s getting old, y’all! Almost thirty! She thinks it’s time for her to get some type of laser treatment to tighten the skin Around her ass. What ass? She weighs, like, 85 pounds, and most of that weight is hair and plastic. She tries to convince Asa to go with her. After all, crazy recognizes crazy, but Asa tells her she is perfectly happy with the body she has now. The gang discusses their plans for the rest of the day. Nap, shower, dinner, club. MJ is ready to go out and dance her flabby ass off.
And boom goes the dynamite.
It is one hour until the GG’s Extension launch party. No one that she has hired has arrived to set up. Finally, John walks in the door, and tells GG to relax. She heads to a back room to get ready. Omid stops by to give her something created by her favorite designer. If you guessed that it is gold jewelry, then give yourself a pat on the back. Better yet, take a shot. You deserve it after that Persian Cher rant! Also, I would like to point out that Omid appears to have one of those feather things in his hair that was popular with middle school girls last summer. Finally, GG is ready to greet the masses in the ballroom, but there is maybe twenty people there. Everyone is messing around on their iPhones, and there is one random Asian chick playing with a Rubix Cube. Since everyone knows the cool people arrive at least an hour late, guests start to trickle into the party. Leila walks in. I am surprised at how negative she is being. She balks at the hair extension booth and gags when she tries GG’s signature drink, the GG Manhattan. So, when GG mentioned she invited famous people, she was referring to F-list celebrities, like washed up porn star Jenna Jameson? As GG talks to another F-lister, Alex, her ex, walks in. They recently broke up, and GG tells us that she felt like she needed to invite him because he is still a part of her life. We soon learn the real reason she invited him was to make Omid jealous. It works as Omid asks his friend what’s up with GG and the “English guy.” Side note: I thought English was a term Omid used to refer to white people, and then I realized that Alex is actually from England. Lol.
F-listers have to stick together.
My thoughts exactly, Leila.