Shahs of Sunset Recap: Granny Iranny Loves Reza

Shahs of Sunset

By plockness monster | Tuesday, January 22, 2013 | 9:00 am | 21 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Recaps, Shahs of Sunset

The only way to get Mike to shut up.

 Hey dudes (I loved that show)! The Shahs are back from Mexico, and it appears this episode has a family theme going on. Plus, Persian Cher has minimal camera time, which means this episode already kicks ass.  Let’s check in with our favorite Persians.

We begin at Reza’s condo. He is packing for his trip to New York. Remember last episode when he invited the Core Four to celebrate Rosh Hashanah with his family? Good. Reza chats with his father on the telephone and nonchalantly inquires how is grandmother is doing. He tells us that his grandmother doesn’t love him. I thought it was in grandmas DNA to automatically love their grand kids no matter what. Maybe she knew Reza would turn out to be a little shit and decided not to waste her time. Why do you think she kicks ass at Sudoku?!

Asa has made a stop at some diamond emporium. Pat, the owner, is going to help her select a large diamond for her “Diamond Water.” He tries not to laugh at her when she explains the concept. He takes her back to a private room where she gets all creepily spiritual over some loose diamonds. Asa says that Diamond Water has three ingredients: water (no shit), diamonds (double no shit), and love energy (a phrase she just made up). She is immediately drawn to a nine and one half carat diamond which she places on her forehead, or third eye, to see what kind of vibes she gets. It’s a HUGE diamond. I am feeling the energy through the television. At 325k, that diamond is waaaay over her 65k limit. Conveniently, a five carat diamond gives her the same feeling, so she decides that it is perfect for her stupid water.

“Just checking the diamond’s energy.  Nothing weird going on here.  Stop staring at me!”

MJ meets up with GG for a friendly dog walk and talk. GG immediately asks MJ why she was sending her Asa-hate texts messages. She also wants to know who she is actually friends with, Asa or her. MJ says she just wants them all to get along. GG actually has some valid points. It’s confusing for her to be uninvited to MJ’s birthday and the Mexico trip especially when MJ is texting her all of these awful things about Asa. MJ turns the situation around and brings up the pool party fight again. GG doesn’t understand why that is such a big deal. MJ says that she was losing friends because of GG’s crazy behavior. She reminds GG that, although she made an effort to apologize to Asa, it took her three weeks to acknowledge the situation. Like most things in her life, GG blows off the conversation and tells MJ they should continue their walk.

“You hate Asa?  Who’s bi-polar now?”

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I am here for your amusement. 

21 Comments

  1. 1
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted January 22, 2013 at 9:29 am

    Poor Hadi. That seemed like the WORST date of all time. He seemed like a nice enough guy, picked out a nice restaurant, brought flowers, and complimented you and all you could do was talk about your ex. How disgusting and rude.

    The family time with Reza was awesome. I was happy to see Iran be so sweet to him because he looked like he was sweating bullets having to go and talk to her. I can only hope I will look that good and be able to drink at 90.

    Who does Asa plan on marketing diamond water to? So that 5 carat diamond is enough energy for how much water exactly?

  2. 2
    labowner
    Posted January 22, 2013 at 10:46 am

    “I refuse to believe anyone over the age of sixty has sexy times.”

    Someone hasn’t heard about the explosion of STDs in the geriatric group.

  3. 3
    featherhead
    Posted January 22, 2013 at 10:53 am

    PC is a vapid twit! I cannot believe how she wouldn’t shut up about her ex-boyfriend, that was so rude to her date. I cheered when he pulled out his phone!

  4. 4
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted January 22, 2013 at 10:56 am

    Featherhead then when PC said that she chooses not to look at her phone during dinner and he responded I don’t like to talk about exs during dinner I was so happy at the shocked look she had.

  5. 5
    plockness monster plockness monster
    Posted January 22, 2013 at 11:05 am

    Lab – I have heard about the STD explosion for old people. In fact, they dedicated a story line to it on Parks and Rec (that is where I get all important info). I chose to ignore it because it absolutely disgusts me. WHO wants to think about old people sex?! Who wants to picture their grandparents or older parents doing it??? Who, I say!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    What about when PC told Hadi that she wished she was actually at dinner with her ex?! Who the fuck does she think she is? You have been on half a season of a reality tv show. That doesn’t qualify you to think that you are the shit.

  6. 6
    labowner
    Posted January 22, 2013 at 11:08 am

    Holy shit. Is GG using the prozac suckers?

  7. 7
    featherhead
    Posted January 22, 2013 at 1:43 pm

    @labowner – maybe she’ll pull a “Linda ” from Intervention and start doing splits on her back!

  8. 8
    Sunshine
    Posted January 22, 2013 at 2:35 pm

    Good recap.
    I know you don’t want to think about sexytime in the older crowd but I can tell you it’s rampant!

    My motherinlaw who just turned 80 and was “dating” a man…they went to dances etc…movies..dinner… he told her the other night that they have had enough dates now and if she doesn’t “put out” they are thru.
    This is the second time this has happened to her since she moved to FL. I am totally serious.

    She told me (in her sweet Zsa Zsa Gabor accent) “this viagara is the worst thing to ever happen to society!”

    LMAO…so indeed I can believe Reza’s Dad’s stories.

  9. 9
    Sunshine
    Posted January 22, 2013 at 2:37 pm

    Oh yeah I forgot…PC is such a horrible bitch…I loved when the phone comment was made. Too funny!

  10. 10
    labowner
    Posted January 22, 2013 at 5:42 pm

    I love how the 5 carat diamond was just as good as the 10 carat. Proof please that diamonds energize. The Jackson’s want this loon in their family tree?

    Feather – did you watch “You’re Cut Off”? One of those crazy bitches had them and I have noticed GG have a sucker the past few episodes. I think Kyle might run her down in her new Maserati if she saw GG doing the splits.

    So don’t care about Reza and his family issues since he has let being a celebutard go to his head.

    What is with all the picking on MJ? No wonder the don’t like GG around as she will stick up for MJ.

    Looking forward to the crazy from GG next week. :) This show needs a shake up as it is boring as Lilly. Forgot what a cee you next tuesday on her date.

  11. 11
    featherhead
    Posted January 22, 2013 at 7:04 pm

    @labowner – if you don’t watch intervention -you must watch the episode with Linda and the medicated lollypops, it was classic!

  12. 12
    Jane and Blanche Jane and Blanche
    Posted January 22, 2013 at 8:38 pm

    Ha! Magical Vag! That made me giggle.

    And WTF? When did granny become likeable?! Wasn’t it just a year ago she was the villainous old woman gumming her food in the corner?!

  13. 13
    Tmurda
    Posted January 23, 2013 at 3:07 am

    Holy hell…that episode of Intervention was CLASSIC!!! That lunatic would act like a total asshole to her brother, or guy-friend, or whoever the hell that guy was living with her that the way he walked by her was creating energy waves to enter her joints and cause her unbearable pain. Then she’d inhale a fentanyl pop and play dance dance revolution (minus the floor mat and actual video game). The “#1 Crazy” Award will forever go to the anorexic huffer who’s description of her duster-high being “It’s like i’m walkin’ on sunshine!” can never be topped, but Linda def comes in at a solid 2nd place!
    I wonder if, at any point in their 10-year-relationship, PC’ BF has seen her without her “mask”. Has ANYONE EVER seen her without it? Is she even a real person? No way, ya’ll. She CAN’T be!
    Um, what is up with this paricular group of people giving each other constant ultimatums and “it’s either me or him!/her!/them!” tests? Jeez. Give it a rest, people!
    AWESOME RECAP (as usual).

  14. 14
    Aunt Dorsey
    Posted January 23, 2013 at 11:35 am

    @Classy Drunk I know, that Persian Barfie is quite a gal! Total catch. After yammering on and on about her ex-fiance ad infinitum, she has the balls (i.e. plastic watermelon-sized boobs) to call HIM out for rudeness for pulling out his phone in sheer self-preservation. I was howling at his comeback, because her face, OMG, her mouth made the perfect little “O” of a sexy-blow-up doll when he gave her that verbal smack-down. “Moi rude?” Can you imagine how glad that Hadi was to be out of there? He was probably relieved he didn’t have to kiss her good night. He’d need a good professional-grade turpentine to get that paint off.

    Man, granny was rocking a small pumpkin with barbed wire on her face. They needed to be careful kissing her, you could put your eye out. (Note to self, instruct the kids re tweezing in golden years.)

  15. 15
    Aunt Dorsey
    Posted January 23, 2013 at 11:48 am

    @plocknessmonster “GG and the Magical Vag” sounds like another book in the Harry Potter series. Can’t wait until this one comes out! Granny Iranny has a nice ring to it. Reminds me of back in the day, when the news came on (been indulging in a little herb) and headliner was: IRAQ ATTACKED IRAN TODAY. Say that five times fast! It messed with my mind….. Great recap.

  16. 16
    labowner
    Posted January 24, 2013 at 12:53 pm

    Reza needs a good cock punch. What a total douche.

  17. 17
    Dizzle
    Posted January 24, 2013 at 1:26 pm

    I noticed Mike’s pudge in Cabo as well. Either way, I’ll take him. And I can’t believe I admitted that in a public forum…

  18. 18
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted January 24, 2013 at 1:28 pm

    @labowner I’m relieved to find I’m not the only person in the world that didn’t tear up over the Evil MeeSafta’s redemption arc.

    What I did do is get convinced the whole thing was producer driven in the 1st place.

    And my opinion about Reza’s mom’s sperm donor not so much as texting his son for 16 yrs didn’t change. He’s a grown ass man. And if the stuff about the mysterious rumor back in Esfahan’s even true that’s not an excuse to be a bigot. To your own grandbaby.

    In fact if it is true. And you scratched that rumor with your shortest nail I guarantee you’d hit bigots.

    Even if their psychic powers told them he was going to turn out to be a fuckwaffle. That’d still be no excuse. Since it’d just look like it was hereditary.

    Those Abraham religions might not be the oldest carrots in the crisper. But they’ve been around long enough. And in the same places. So it’s not like her baby was the 1st Jewish boy that ever knocked up a Muslim girl.

    There’s plenty of families with all kinds of religions and ways and groups. That are all mixed up. But they’re not bigots. And don’t cut each other off. They get together on everybody’s holidays and drink too much and argue real loud like civilized people.

  19. 19
    Tiger
    Posted January 25, 2013 at 1:32 pm

    Being 60 and having an active sex life feels pretty good too me right now. So glad to know, some apparently are going to be giving up sex when the reach my age.

  20. 20
    SMH
    Posted January 28, 2013 at 11:24 am

    Does anyone else think Mike looks (and sounds) like a chunky Mark Consuelos? Just curious.

  21. 21
    Classy Drunk Classy Drunk
    Posted January 28, 2013 at 11:35 am

    Yes SMH…they mentioned that on WWHL

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