The holidays have come early for you, my beloved Gasmii. Coconut is back! After last week’s comments, I have decided that Coconut is the most popular living thing on this show. Lilly globs on makeup and tells us that she used to work at a law firm in Texas. Apparently, the slut look did not fly there, so she left that job and decided to shoot for the stars. The stars in her situation consist of bikinis that look like lingerie. Dream big, Lilly, and get creative with your company name. You chose the name “Swimgerie?” I bet you were up countless nights thinking of that one! Even Coconut gives her the side eye.
Lilly goes to the Swimgerie headquarters to meet with her business partner. They need to get some pieces together to present to Bergdorf. Everyone knows that Bergdorf can make you or break you. If it breaks you, you end up designing boring bathing suits for Target’s plus size women’s department. This would be Lilly’s own personal hell. The Swimgerie model arrives and her and Lilly exchange the forced, “You’re so skinny!” “No, YOU’RE SO SKINNY!” skinny bitch greeting. The conversation veers into a discussion about bathing suit crotch juice. It’s really gross, and it seems as though the company lent out a sample suit that was returned with said stain. Lilly says it could be AIDS. I am thinking venereal disease.
Herpes is forever.
Yay! MJ’s dad stops by her apartment for some bonding time. Bonding time for these two involves hair dye and nose hair trimmers. She is in full grooming mode as she tells us they are very close and basically it is the complete opposite of her relationship with her mother. Even though her dad is really hairy, and it kind of grosses me out, this is a really cute scene. I am glad she has one great parent in her life otherwise she would already have seven kids and a meth addiction.
Totally normal family activity, right?
Reza meets Lilly for lunch and he takes a moment to fantasize what her skin would look like hanging on a satin hanger in his massive walk-in closet. He gains his composure to get down to brass tacks. What does she really think about his friends? For once, I agree with Lilly when she says they all need rehab, stat. Reza is horrified at their behavior, and Lilly has the sads because she thought she was going to meet some new and enjoyable people in Beverly Hills. Surely she has watched season one? She decides that it is probably best for her to avoid the impending pool party. She forgot her drinking pants in Texas and tells Reza she will have them shipped UPS before the next Shah get together.