Mike is on a date with, Jessica, a girl her has been dating for a few months. He says her dad is super loaded, like it is no big deal, but I could see dollar signs flashing in his eyes. Jessica is Italian, so Mike throws out a few semi-offensive Italian stereotypes. To ensure he gets laid later, he adds in that Persians are just as loud and obnoxious. Smooth, Mike. He invites her to a family dinner. She is hesitant at first, but he convinces her that she will fit right in. Do you think the cameras will be there to capture all of the animosity?! Ten dollars says his mother runs out of the room crying when she realizes Jessica is not Persian or Jewish.
Mike’s math: 1 Room + 10 Persians = 155 white people
Asa takes Reza to see famed Persian psychic, Shohreh. He shuffles a deck of cards and Madame S takes them. She tells him that he deeply cares for his family, but not so much for his father. He drinks some strong Persian coffee, digs some goop out of his cup, and makes a wish. Shohreh says he has problems in his love life that correlate to trust issues. On that high note, Asa pays her and the psychic leaves. Reza admits that he is going through a self proclaimed “gay life crisis.” He would like to settle down but part of him still wants to be a man whore. Asa asks him if he could see himself settling down with his current piece, Adam. He is not sure what he should do at this point.
Finally, MJ goes to see a therapist. She tells the shrink that her mother never really wanted to be a mother. She-Devil abandoned her and her father when she was a child. The most frustrating thing about the situation was the fact her mother moved into an apartment that was minutes away from the family home. She has continued to live there until present day. MJ realizes that her parent’s divorce affected her way more than she thought and has subsequently ruined all romantic relationships in her adult life. It’s all really sad, and I am sorry, I just can’t make fun of someone who recognizes that they need emotional help.
Damn you for making me have feelings!
Reza takes Big Booty Adam on a cooking class date. They learn and flirt and prepare food that makes me hungry. Reza questions the amount of passion Adam possesses and if it will be enough for him.
Put on your Swimgerie because it’s almost time for the pool party. Asa voices her fears that her friends will be a drunken embarrassment. Across Beverly Hills, GG foreshadows that she is probably going to act like a drunken embarrassment.
Asa arrives to the party first. Man, this chick will not stop repeating the name “Shawn Solati.” She says he belongs to a famous Persian pop music family. His shindigs are the best. Reza, MJ, and Mike filter in. Right out of the gate, the group decides to take some tequila shots because that is the best way to keep things calm and civil. Mike tells Asa that the previous night was awkward because Omid and GG were all over each other like horny, lush bunnies. Asa tells him to please confront them next time. Again, does she think that’s the best way to avoid conflict at the party?