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Wednesday, January 9, 2013
1:00 pm
16 Comments
Cabo time. Everyone except MJ walks to the pool. Reza calls it “Nikki Beach.” There is a pretty feisty party going on. Of course, PC has been to the real Nikki Beach, in France, and where they are is complete shit in comparison. Could she get any worse? MJ is still in her room, primping and drinking. Mike: “White people are crazy.” Debauchery surrounds them, and PC is not amused. Get used to it Gasmii, she is like this for the rest of the episode. Everyone starts dancing up on random people, but they decide to take a break to eat some foods. MJ arrives. PC tells us that it is clear she is drunk. Who fucking cares, PC? She is forty and in Cabo. I wish someone would throw her in the ocean.
Liquor face, we’ve all been there.
Mike is downing shots straight from the bottle. He is very friendly to anyone standing within two feet. Everyone is trying to get on Mike’s level but Persian Cher. From her throne, she throws shade at anything and everything in her line of vision. Reza is happy that MJ is acting like her old, drunk self. Mike tries to tell PC to relax, but she again reminds us that she is a lady and this isn’t her scene.
Meanwhile, this is happening.
Everyone is ready for dinner except Mike. Even MJ is on time! They decide that they need to go see what he is doing. The gang bursts into the room, and Mike has no clue what is going on. It probably wasn’t the best idea to mix all that liquor. He shuffles to the bathroom to puke. Asa and MJ open the door to see if Mike is okay. He is naked, and MJ’s eyes almost pop out of her skull. She comments on the size of his schlong while Asa giggles like a school girl. The girls leave the bathroom, and MJ informs Reza and Sammy that Mike’s penis beats both of their penises in length and girth. Reza tells us MJ would know because she is the Queen of Peen.
The Shahs sit down to dinner sans Mike. Reza asks MJ about Drizzy. Will she get serious with him? She tells the group that she had her first therapy session on her birthday. I call lie or bad editing on this. Asa asks her what she talked about with the doctor. MJ says she can remember one fight between her parents very vividly. It was about “the affair.” Persian Cher asked who cheated and is very surprised to find out it was MJ’s mom. PC toasts to MJ and says she would like to get to know her better. MJ tries to resume the conversation with PC, but Reza interjects to say that all conversation from here on out should be happy. MJ says that she is just taking the opportunity to discuss life events with friends, but she adds in a PC jab by calling her an acquaintance. Let the fighting begin. Asa laughs and this offends MJ. For some reason MJ continues to politely diss PC, so she calls her out. Sammy tries to defuse the situation by saying MJ didn’t mean anything in an ugly way. Reza butts in to basically tell the girls to get along. Side note – He said he adored MJ, but LOVED Persian Cher. Hmmm. Anyway, MJ asks Asa and Reza if she has ever called them to talk shit about PC. Asa says MJ called PC a Chia Pet. MJ changes her question, and asks Reza and Asa if she has ever called them to find out what PC is like. I guess she means her personality? Reza repeats the Chia Pet insult and says that, yes, MJ did say that. MJ admits that she only said it to Reza but not to Asa. Potato, patato. MJ focuses all of her hostility towards Asa. They come to low blows, as MJ mocks Asa music career. Asa tells MJ that she is a pill popping drunk. MJ says that she has never popped pills. PC calls her out because she told her she took an Ambien on the plane. MJ gets up from the dinner table and walks away. MJ continues to yell at Asa through the bushes. She calls Reza away from the table for a private conversation. He agrees, if she will put down her drink. MJ tells Reza that he is choosing Asa and Persian Cher over her. He yells that MJ is taking her PC anger out on the wrong people. Asa joins the two and MJ immediately tells her to go fuck herself. MJ is super pissed about Asa’s pill popping comment. I think MJ is really angry because it’s true. To Be Continued!!!!
“I’m over here. By the palm tree!”
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16 Comments
My gawd I am starting to dislike every single one of these people. How does that happen?
Lily you looked horrible in your bathing suit. Your tits were practically hitting your chin.
I dated a Persian man who was not well endowed at all.
I usually don’t like Lily (if I have to hear how fabulous she thinks she is one more time…), but I agree with her on the whole alcohol thing. Lol she’s on the totes wrong show with that ideal, however. MJ needs to get real with her clothing choices, that bathing suit needs to go.
And Mike… the fuck bro? Quit with the race thing! Just stop! Persians aren’t better than anybody else as this show is proving in SPADES.
I don’t know how these awful people can live with themselves. They all gang up on each other, they hate each other, they’re the Persian Jersey Housewives! By the end of this show it’ll be a depressing mess and they’ll all end up alone with bankruptcy problems and broken friendships. Calling it right now!
And it disgusts me when people gang up on someone, it’s the worst when the people doing it are shooting low blows. Like, they aren’t saying anything to help her, they just want to see how upset they can get her so they can laugh at it later. I don’t even care what MJ said about Lily at that point.
I actually think Omid’s attractive though… Idk what to do with that.
“I actually think Omid’s attractive though… Idk what to do with that.”
Seeing how angry and violent GG can be, I might keep that a little close to the vest.
MJ needs to lose about 200 lbs. Every 1 of them named Reza.
The only person that deserves the compliquation of his nasty ass is Morally Corrupt Faye Resnick.
What needs to happen is for Miss Andy to get the 2 of them together by any means necessary. He’d be doing a good deed for humanity. By saving other people from both of them. Plus get the reward of the Guinness World Record Repulsiveness Prize in the reality show category.
@plockness monster this is a great recap! I just had to say that before I finish reading it. And probably make some more comments. ( So everybody should go ahead and crank up their speed scroll to turbo. For pain pill related reasons)
@labowner: Hah! No kidding. She might try to cut my face off or something.
“I actually think Omid’s attractive though… Idk what to do with that”
Don’t worry Valleygirl, GG will surly cut his purdy face long before the wedding.
This show put me in such a bad mood I wasn’t able to get the keyboard away from my alter ego Preachy McJudgington.
GG’s sister is the best example of a flower blooming up through >9000 miles of putrefied trashmud that’s been on tv since Tyler and Catelyn.
@plockness monster we’ll just have to agree to disagree about this. But it’s 2 wks in a row we’ve seen Mahmoud treat Leila like she’s a piece of garbage. And GG’s his golden angel from Jannah. So if GG wants to cut her pregnant sister’s face off then Leila’s the 1 that should apologize?!? Maybe on Planet WTF it’s like that. But not in my philosophy.
But to be fair it looks like Leila’s being their enabler. Probably from growing up desperate to get just part of 1% of the love that GG got. Even so it also looks like she’s the 1 that managed to grow up and live a normal life. At least from what we can see. I hope to God her husband worships her bath water’s ass.
Persian Cher is always looking down her nose. I’d be uncomfortable too (well, especially if I’m not Cabo Drunk), but it seems she is ALWAYS saying how classy she is, what behavior is disgusting, etc. She’s a brunette Yolanda from RHoBH with a vocal fry voice. And she does not deserve the name Cher anywhere near her, because I think Cher would be a lot more fun.
Reza has definitely drank the breakout star Kool-aid. Sad, because I like him for the most part, but even last season I was worried about this happening. Because I certainly don’t have anything else going on, no underwear swim line or hair extension party.
I guess MJ’s the next getting iced out, due to her “substance issues.” Which I’m sure she has, but I’d rather have a fun woman who may take the occasional chill out pill to some egotistical assbag squawking about diamond infused water, pop priestesshood and putting on a poor mouth with her gold coins and ostentatious house.
As always entertaining and fun recap. TvGasm really has the cream of the ‘capper crop.
I feel like I should point out that I , in no way, condone the way Mahmoud treats Leila. He should reserve that kind of parenting for GG, but obviously he didn’t and that’s why she turned out to be such a drunk fucktard. Leila apologized to GG because she felt bad for being mean to her sister. I don’t think GG would EVER do that. Just goes to show that Leila is a better person.
I am loving the “fat Reza” comments! He has gone from lovable (season one) to deplorable (season 2). I don’t understand his obsession w/ Asa or Persian Cher and I do NOT like the way he is treating his best friend of 20 years.
@Plock…the reason why Leila is the more successful child is because he treats her that way. Had he treated GG that way she would be the same.
My brother was babied and I was held responsible for so many things it’s crazy. That’s why currently I am the more successful child. That’s generally how it works. If you are always held to high standards then you will meet high standards.
Is it right…maybe maybe not…but don’t we all wish GG had a little more Leila in her?
My best friend doesn’t drink. She’s never had a sip of alcohol in her life. That being said she’s never acted like she was above or better than the rest of the group because we have overindulged. I am sure when we were younger she hated being the care taker but at 32 she parties with us and has a great time. She finds it funny when we get a little out of hand.
The one minute throwaway clips should ALWAYS be of a drunk MJ…I love her when she’s buzzed.
MJ has quite the insecurity issue doesnt she…considering she is a criminal and her mom has beat her down emotionally for her whole life I want to feel sorry for her, but honestly Lily tried to be polite and listen when her other “friends” didnt want to hear it so MJ needs to reign in her jealousy. I think Lily would be good for MJ…she could help her tighten up, and be less sloppy and MJ could help Lily loosen up a little and have fun. That would stick it to Reza too if Lily & MJ became friends!!! Wake Up chunky and learn to live in the world you claim to be a part of Persians are sharks, when there is blood in the water they are gonna swarm around you, open your eyes and lay off the booze for a bit & you may learn to like yourself a bit more.
Great recap Plockness! I too am at the point of hating all of these people. I think Sammy is my favorite now?
It surprised me to hear that. MJ was 40, only because at the age these people are they act like petulant teenagers and its not cute. Partying aside, these fights and jealousies and petty face-rubbing (I’m looking at Reza, you pills bury doughboy) are really childish.
That’s so Persian!
Say whatever about Reza, but if my friends put out the kind of breakfast spread we’ve seen twice from him, I’d visit them all the time.
@plockness monster Yikes! I mean we disagree about if Leila should’ve apologized. Not about nasty Mahmoud! I should’ve looked at my sentences. Instead of just typing out of my head like that. So now I’m the 1 apologizing. Can we hug?
@Classy Drunk I think drunk MJ’s a hoot too. It seems like everybody does. Whether they’re in real life or just watching her on tv. It’s like the only positive reaction she gets is when she gets shit faced.
Maybe because it’s also the only time she lets her guard down. But that’s something she needs to work out with her counselor. That went to school and studied that stuff.
But not everything’s like that. You can just look at her with her dad and see what happened. He felt so bad about how her mom was he put his whole life into loving her enough for a dozen moms and dads.
And was also 1 of those divorced parents that’ll cut their mouth off before they say a word against their ex where their kid could hear. Even if their ex is the devil x Hitler.
So he ended up not giving her 1 of his best advantages. Teaching her from a young age that her mom’s not the way to be. Which of course she knows now. But when her feelings get hurt her go to reaction is to act like her mom. Without even knowing it.
Anyway I hope she gets real counseling. And not just the show kind. Because out of the lot she’s the only 1 that’s decent in her heart. Not to mention she’s absolutely stunning. But she’s ruining her looks from too much drinking and sadness.
MJ is making me cringe. She’s got nothing to be jealous of Lily about. She’s an absolutely gorgeous woman who just, for the LOVE of god, needs to wear the proper sized clothes. Ten pounds of shit in a five-pound bag doesn’t cut it. She doesn’t appear to have a problem showing up in public in a bathing suit which is refreshing as hell, but please find one that’s flattering. That white diaper is hideous. Woman, find a stylist STAT! It’s nice to see a normal sized woman on TV who isn’t a coat hanger, but stop squeezing yourself into dresses that are too small for you . I don’t want to see the outlines of your underwear. You’re turning into your mother and it isn’t pretty. Leave the snark for Azza.
Other that that, I hate most of the characters this season. They make Sammy look good. I hope Reza develops aluminum deoderent allergies from sniffing Twinkie armpits. The Persian Pop Priestess (gag me) is insufferable. GG reminds me of one of those troll dolls that were all the rage in the ’60s. The best thing about Persian Barfie doll is her dog.
Aunt Dorsey – I automatically like you for 2 reasons:
1 – Dorsey is the last name of my all time favorite college basketball player. Richard Elmer “Joey” Dorsey. He played at the University of Memphis and I love him.
2 – You called MJ’s bathing suit a white diaper. AHAHAHAHA! I realllllllllly wish I would’ve thought of that.