They all have the same middle name. It’s “dysfuntional.”
Wow. To say this reunion (part I) was interesting is an understatement. I wonder how much time has elapsed since the season finale? Reza and MJ are fighting like two wet cats in a bag. Mike, strangely, continues to be the voice of reason. GG is still delusional. Lastly, it seems as though we aren’t the only fans that can’t stand Persian Cher. Grab a gallon of your favorite alcohol because it’s time for a Shah reunion!
“DERP.”
Andy Cohen is our host for the night. I must admit, I have never watched a Real Housewives episode or the RH/Shah after show, so I am unfamiliar with Andy. After this, though, I have decided that I love him! He is straightforward and hilarious. Andy begins the night by asking the Shahs some viewer questions. Reza is up first. Has he ever rocked another style of moustache? Yup, he copied the Hulk’s style once, and he might shave it off completely, if there is a season three. Jesus, GG told HuffPo that she is “the Rosa Parks of reality television.” See? Delusional. Next! Why does Reza like to feel on MJ’s titty sacks so much? He says they are there, so why not? Also, he needs to give her a “hand” because she often wears unsupportive clothing. One viewer would like to know if the Shahs get to live rent and utility free in the states. They all laugh and make lame ass jokes about moving to THAT building. Mike, how can you be Persian and Jewish? Because that is his heritage. Fuck, who are the special need viewers that submitted these questions?! I would like to point that Persian Cher is wearing a formal dress. She looks like she is going to hop in a limo after the reunion, and attend a black tie affair. As usually, she takes it to the extreme.
Guess who applied her makeup and spray tan? Here’s a clue, the name rhymes with “Blursian Pear.”
For some reason, Andy decides to focus on Persian Cher first. Disgusting PC fact number one: she is so skinny, she must have her shoes narrowed. She had to tell someone that, or it would not have been brought up. WHY?? Andy asks PC about the AIDS/crotch juice comment. She admits that she was embarrassed that she even said that. She blames it on being human and saying dumb stuff. Next, why is PC’s voice so annoying and does she notice it? AHHAA! One viewer calls her the “Persian Fran Drescher.” PC says that sometimes her voice gets on her own nerves, but she would never change it. Why not? She has basically altered everything else about herself. Someone wants to know why she judges poor people and fat people. PC just doesn’t understand why everyone thinks she does this. She also never says that she doesn’t have a problem with fat people. We all know her definition of a fat person. If you don’t remember, review the Cabo episode, specifically the group conversation on the yacht. Then, go directly to the nearest trash can or toilet and gag up your last meal. Andy brings up her ex-boyfriend, Ali. PC says she stayed with him out of habit. Disgusting PC fact number two: although she is no longer with Ali, she still uses his Black Amex card. She says she gave him her v-card, so she’s keeping the damn card. Did she just basically call herself a prostitute? She had sex with him. He gave her a credit card. Sounds like a prostitute to me. PC takes this chance to bring up something that MJ may or may not have said about her. She heard that MJ was telling people that Ali supports her financially. That bitch pulls out her company’s January earnings statement! It’s 72k, in case you are wondering. PC then produces multiple bills of sale for her various cars. I am partly confused because she tells Andy that some of the cars are Ali’s. Doesn’t that defeat the purpose of the point you are trying to prove, PC? Andy hilariously tells her that no one asked her to bring the documents, so she does seem like she is bragging. Thank you, Andy, for saying exactly what we are all screaming at our televisions. Thank God Persian Cher’s me time is over.
“Did I just poop my dress?”
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20 Comments
Did we really need a reunion? I was already sick of the season halfway thr0ugh but now I get to see them yell at each other about the same stuff they’ve been yelling at each other all season long. UUGGHH!
I still don’t like anybody on the show anymore except maybe Mike. If he doesn’t go full monty on playgirl then I will add him to the hate list from this show.
The only thing I liked on the show was the montage of the parents telling them to get jobs. That is what they need to do: Go get a job, work and stay off TV!!!
The only thing that made me laugh is when Asa told GG that GG is jealous of her natural looks. Now I agree GG is an awful human being but she is pretty. Asa is not. All the karma and diamond water will not change that fact. Also did the natural looks thing make anybody else nervous? Like she is super hairy? Just a question lol.
Fame ruined Reza and I hate Asa. GG is just a child, they need to leave MJ alone she doesn’t hurt anybody and half the country takes Ambien. PC is gross. I love Mike.
Did I mention I hate Asa?
Omg, Asa is a waste of film. And my fingers are crossed for some full-frontal Mike action, he is delicious…
High five Sunshine on the Asa hate.
Not sure what Reza is thinking by being such a dick to MJ. Is he jealous that she has become the fat, sloppy, drunk fan favorite and most every one has turned on him? Did he really think we were all going to love Persian Cher as much as he does?
Persian Cher is a prostitute or I guess high class call girl. Dad must love that. I am sure as soon as the new girlfriend finds out PC will be cut off. I wonder if PC will sue for palimony?
Love me some GG.
Forgot, hopping that next season Asa and Reza get the full on bitch edit they deserve.
BRAVA @Plockness for recapping this season. I have not been available to watch the entire season or catch all of your caps but you deserve a medal for doing this. It’s God’s work for sure.
I’ll take the slaughtering for saying this but, with respect to GG I can see where her issues come from.
I was bullied to the point of torture when I was younger and it lasted through high school. GG is 30. If she was picked on for as long as she said, that is almost 2/3rds of her life. I can see where those rage issues come from. I can also see that it will take a long time to undo what was done.
I’m not saying it’s right at all but what I am saying is that’s what hardcore bullying produces, a really, really angry individual.
She has a long way to go in the ‘being a decent human being’ department but at least she is seeking therapy.
Other than that, I have no use for this crowd.
Have to disagree with the comment that GG is pretty. I just don’t see it. She has a constant sneer as though she’s smelling a fart. and whatever drinking and drugging she’s doing is not helping. Her sister is much prettier.
I do find Asa attractive in an unconventional, natural, confidence that shows, way but her personality completely negates all of that. Also her eyebrows are great but just a WEE bit on the thick side
I’m trippin about how different I feel about some of these people and their conflicts/situations than the majority of other veiwers do. I am usually with the majority in my opinions of who I hate and love on thse shows, so it’s interesting, but anyhoodles…
No, GG is not pretty. Not ugly, by any means, but I’d never call her pretty. I do not think she nor Asa are jealous whatsoever of one another. I wish GG would understand (and maybe she would if Asa would just SAY it) that Asa is not MAD at her for the pool party incident. Asa just DOESN’T LIKE GG. Anyway, as far as GG’s abuse excuse, she aint foolin’ me. We don’t know for sure if it happened, cause all we know is what GG said about it, and we all know how reliable GG’s version of things is. *eyeroll* Here’s what we DO know for sure:
1) GG is incapable for taking responsibility or ownership for any of her actions/decisions/words
2) GG lies…A LOT
3) GG’s father has no problem putting either daughter in her place if she is being out of line.
4) GG has no problem hitting other females below the belt with cruel remarks about their weight/appearance.
5) GG’s sister is the less-attractive sister
6) GG has never lived as a normal, self-sufficiant, independent,responsible adult, but she expects others who DO live like that to shower her with praise and respect for any effort she puts forth.
Sooooo…..my point is this. Siblings fight. Siblings hit, push, punch, insult, tease, and compete with each other. I’d imagine GG played the “I’m the pretty one” card from the second she was able to talk. If GG’s sister beat her ass, I can only assume that she was hit with hateful insults about her appearence from her irresponsible, riding-on-her-looks kid sister, and that desrves a beat down. And the little bit we saw of their father was enough to make me certain that he would never have tolerated the level of unprovoked abuse GG is claiming to have endured. GG’s version of every incident includes a scattered version of the sequence of events involved, and any of her actions leading up to climax of the incident are not mentioned. She isn’t a piece of shit cause her sister pummled her for fun her whole childhood, she’s a piece of shit cause she is bored, and she lacks the self-confidence tha one gets from setting and achieving goals. As a kid, she played the role of “the prettiest child”, and that made her feel important. Now, as an adult, she butts heads with anyone who A) Is pretty and accomplished, and/or B) Isn’t impressed by her “beauty”, making her feelings of insecurity over having nothing else to offer eat her up inside. Ok, I just psycho-analyzed the shit out of GG. I could have summed up all 7,095 words of that by just saying that I think GG is a childish bitch who loses her shit cause hates herself inside, but can’t take ownership for her behavior cause that would lead to her having to make life changes and she is too spoiled and lazy to do that, so…yeah. My fiance laughed at how pathetic her reaction to Omid and her ex’s uneventful introduction/small talk at her hair party. They were being polite, mature, reasonable gentlemen having a grown-up small-talk sesh, and she could not have been any more obvious that she wanted the introduction exchange to turn into a cockfight over her for all her party guests to see. Like, bitch, mind your business. Let the ex and the newdick meet each other like normal secure adults do in a potentially awkward situation like this. Ugh. HATE.
I love MJ, but I love Reza too. MJ is in her little world of denial, and is in the stage every alchy goes through when they are maybe starting to consider they might have a prob, but are still hesitent cause they only consider a person who drinks all day every day a true “alcoholic”, (which is COMPLETE BULLSHIT if youknow ANYTHING about addiction). Reza is coming off like a harsh, insensitive ball of judgement, but he has been in a close friendship for 20+years with MJ, who is basically a sister to him, and he’s had to deal with the elephant of addiction in the room for that long. He’s “over it”, and I would be too. You can’t keep ignoring a friend’s addiction or you become an enabler and you start to feel like the addict is useing you to stay in “Wonderland”. He’s tired of “playing dumb”, and I don’t blame him.
I love Mike and Lilly. My opinion on Asa is basically a neutral “meh”.
Like, whoa.
How did I end up liking Asa? I didn’t like her last season but this season I do. Basically because she wasn’ t going to pretend for the sake of the show that she and GG were friends. Sorry but if you hit me then all bets are off we aren’t friends anymore and I really don’t care if we are ever around each other again. I just find Asa kooky with the whole diamond water artsy fartsy thing.
GG doesn’t take any responsibility for anything. Even though if she watches the film it’s clear that she gets aggressive with Asa first and everyone was tired of that whole bit.
@Tamitha (seriously?) I cannot believe you didn’t turn up at the R.I.P.Mimdy site to overanalyze the hell out of that one too.
Yikes.
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!! @SSC
@ssc- Saaawww–wyyy…I’d clearly had WAY too much coffee when I wrote that. I seriously felt like I was typing for like 3 mins, then I clicked to post, and a 7-page thesus on the “Soul less Rich Bitch Psyche” popped up.I was like “fuuuuuuuuuuuuuck…” when I saw it. I love to psycho-analyze people iv’e never met. haha. Not the most christian thing to do, but anyone on a reality show is fair game. Maybe next time I’ll nutshell it for ya. I coulda just said “she acts out out of insecurity issues, and she’s a liar filled with excuses and ugliness” and would have got my point across.
I love y’all. I really do.
Glad to see no one is enabling GG around these parts (Gyp, I think you’re awesome, so I look past what you said. Also, I am sorry you were bullied. Who do you want me to beat up?). Not that we know her or anything, but you get what I’m saying.
I have to disagree w/ “GG is pretty.” 1 – Her attitude automatically makes her ugly to me. 2 – Anyone can be “pretty” with the amount of plastic surgery she has. That does double for Persian Cher.
Per the previews for part II of the reunion, Reza stoops to a whole new level by bringing up MJ’s past. I am sure, even though it’s probably a matter of public record, that those are the types of things that you DON’T throw back in your BFF’s face. I think I strongly dislike him to the point of hate.
I don’t think GG is pretty. All her features are scrunched up in the middle of her face.
MJ is the only girl on this show that I actually find to be physically attractive. She just needs to take care of her hair and wear clothing more flattering to her shape. Her face is gorgeous and she’s the only one. I don’t find Persian Cher attractive at all, I look at her and see plastic features and wayyy too much fake hair and make up.
And for the sake of fairness in objectification, I don’t find Mike all that hot either, but I do like his personality a lot.
Laurenb – Totes agree on MJ’s hair. Someone needs to get her a deep conditioning treatment, STAT.
It’s as if MJ has never watched what not to wear based on the choices she makes…
Let’s face it, this is not the most altruistic group of people in the world, but MJ, for all her addictions and unfortunate choices in wardrobe and companions, I’d the most likable. She seems to be a sweet, simple person and everybody around her wants to putmher down and keep her there, from her mother to her so-called friends.
Gad, I’d drink and pop pills too.
Oh wait…
I think GG has been playing the “daddy’s baby girl” card her whole life. Pretty pathetic. She’s 30 years old and she still needs daddy to wipe her bung hole. She reminds me of one of the little troll dolls with the squinchy features and cotton candy colored hair that were all the rage in the late ’60s. She’s ugly inside, slammed into that ugly tree and hit every damn branch. I call bullshit on her sister beating her up every day for no damn good reason. Name one person on the planet who has not been bullied for something. Get some intestinal fortitude. Give me a break, some asswipe ragged her about her nose. Boo hoo……always the victim.
MJ does drink enough to fell an ox, but until she’s ready to do something about it, nothing that Reza says is going to matter. So he should just STFU, he has his own little agenda. Mike nailed it when he said the issue was her hag of a mother. It’s not like Reza and Asa were holding an intervention for her and offering legitimate help, they were just ragging on her. So they should just butt out.