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Yes! Time to talk about the parents, and the producers show my absolute favorite clip of the season, Asa’s Mommy June asking her what the hell a Persian Pop Priestess is. And then her father hysterically laughs. Can these two get their own show? Andy asks the Shahs what’s up the whole “golden penis” thing? Asa says it is a term of endearment, like “honey” or “baby.” GG says the phrase fits in with how Persian men are viewed by their parents. Asa tries to give Andy a Latin lesson, but it’s not hard to see that he wants her to stop talking almost as bad as I do. He wonders if being so close to your parents, in Persian culture, is normal. The Shahs assure him that it most definitely is. GG admits that her parents fully support her financially. That is no surprise. Reza says that his relationship with his mother was worse after the season two teasers premiered. His mother’s friends were very concerned that he was kissing another man on television. Persian Cher, on the other hand, didn’t even tell her family that she was going to be on the show until two days prior to the air date. Her mother was proud of her for doing the show, but her father didn’t talk to her for months. Again, I don’t find that surprising. I guess her parents didn’t watch the show. Honestly, I don’t blame them. Who wants to see their daughter act like an asshole on television?
Guess what the gang’s favorite insult is? The word “bitch.” We get a montage of everyone saying it multiple times. Andy asks why there is so much animosity between MJ and PC. They both blame the other stating, “I only said this because I heard she was saying this about me.” PC gets upset because MJ repeatedly referred to her as “skinny.” OHMYGOD SHUT UP! She whines about how unfair it is that skinny people can’t call anyone “fat”, but its okay for fat people to call skinny bitches “skinny.” MJ looks like she is trying so hard not to laugh. MJ apologizes to PC for talking shit about her. Instead of accepting said apology, like the mature person she claims to be, PC continues to argue with her. Mike steps in to tell PC to shut her mouth and accept what MJ is offering. PC says she could take all of the insults that MJ threw out except for the ones about her family. Again, MJ says that she is here to mend fences. She apologizes for bringing family into their petty arguments. PC accepts and it appears to be over, but we all know that’s a fat lie.
Andy finally brings up the Asa and GG pool debacle of season two. I still can’t believe this all started over a comment about Omid’s nose. Whack! Andy asks GG how she feels while watching the clips of her and Asa’s season long fight. She says she is saddened by it. Somehow, I highly doubt that. Andy then asks her what possessed her to grab the gigantic knife during Sammy Lamb’s dinner party. She CLAIMS it was to scare Omid enough to get him to leave the house. Right. GG defends what she said about stabbing her sister. When they were younger, Leila used to beat her. It’s never your fault, right GG? I don’t even know what else to say about GG because I feel like, between the recaps and the comments, we have said it all. Asa says that GG has never apologized for the pool fight. She says that GG is jealous of her natural features. GG says that Asa uses blood diamonds to give her diamond water life energy. For the tenth time this season, these two fight about stupid shit, and talk over each other. It’s all basically a giant waste of time. GG tries to say that Asa put her hands on her first. Yes, that is where GG’s pill popping comes into play. Bitch can’t remember anything. She is in denial even though there is video evidence! I pray that no one talks about this in season three. Just. Drop. It.