Mike looks like he is about to take a dump on stage. Just sayin’.
So, after a week break, we are back for the second half of the Shahs reunion. My sincerest thank you goes out to the producers for giving my brain time to absorb and rest. This episode is basically one giant nod to Reza and MJ’s crumbling friendship. Each week I don’t know why I get so disappointed when I realize that Reza has failed to grow a heart, but this episode really takes the cake. I don’t know how he can ever mold himself into a likeable human being again. It’s not even fun to watch him try anymore. With my growing wanna be Persian mom disappointment rearing its ugly head, let’s get to the reunion, bitches.
Andy complements the Shahs of their choice of wardrobe. Sadly, though, he doesn’t mention the fact that PC is wearing a prom dress that the school slut would show up in. He also complements Reza and Mike on their Louboutin shoes. They are both sporting the “in” style, I guess. I don’t get the spike obsession, and their shoes probably double as some freaky sexy toy.
Shoe or sex toy? Also, heyyyyyy Kris Curry!
First topic of conversation? Employment. I know we have all seen clips of these fools working, but I still find it hard to believe they do anything but drink and talk shit about people. GG admits that it’s pretty sad that she is 30 and only now does she have something that resembles an actual job. Asa talks about her Diamond Water and being a PPP. She has yet to grasp the concept that performing in one musical showcase doesn’t make her famous, or a singer for that matter. I sing to my dogs on a daily basis. Just because I grab a hair brush and sing to an “audience” doesn’t mean I am ready to cut my first album and go on tour. MJ, Mike, and Reza discuss how hard they work in the real estate market. BOR-RING. Hilariously, there is no mention of PC’s swim line. A viewer wants to know what Asa will do if her singing career fails. Once again, she brings up her two degrees from UCLA. Asa, two associate degrees does not equal a bachelor’s degree, m’kay? Another viewer wants to know more about her Diamond Water. Why? Who fucking cares? Andy asks the other Shahs if they have tried the water. If I were them, I would demand a free sample for all of the times I had to listen to Asa talk about it. MJ says that she has not tried it nor does she believe that a diamond can interact with water to give it any sort of mystical powers. Asa immediately gets her panties wadded and wonders why MJ just can’t be happy for her. Since no one cares about PC, she has to jump into the conversation to reiterate that MJ is just a Negative Nancy. MJ says that, for her, it is real estate or nothing. She doesn’t have time to play with water, say a chant over it, and charge fifteen dollars a bottle. Asa says that Diamond Water is her dream and everyone else should just support her. Andy asks GG if she has tried Diamond Water. The way GG answers “No,” gives me the giggles. From one delusional girl to another, her water ain’t shit. GG does say that they all work very hard, and that’s no joke. Finally, a viewer question that isn’t as dumb as Persian Cher’s laugh. Why doesn’t Asa give up her nice home and car to support her family, since she always talks about giving her parents a better life? Asa says that she has supported her parents since her 20’s, and sometimes she has to make sacrifices to live the life she wants to live. So, basically, you don’t make any sacrifices for your parents because your music career and Diamond Water are more important? GG points out that anyone that wears copious amounts of gold jewelry, on a daily basis, can afford to forfeit more in life then Asa does. Asa throws her sweet mom under the bus by pointing out that, she too, wears a shit ton of gold. Me thinking out loud: Isn’t gold a cultural thing with Persians? Or am I just caving to stereotypes? I know that Indian women wear a ton of gold at their wedding because it is a status symbol. National Geographic has taught me well! Andy and Asa both tell GG to shut her face because her father supports every financial aspect of her life. Tell us something we don’t know, dudes. Andy quickly asks GG about her hair extension business, and she says that orders are coming in faster than they can process them. She then says that Jena Jamison is a client and a friend. Ew, why would you claim her as either? GG says that her life has been so crazy up until this point; she hasn’t had time for a job. Yeah, between drinking, smoking, and lying, there isn’t a lot of time left in the day to be, as most adults say, “productive.” Andy moves on to MJ’s employment. He brings up Reza’s statement that she too doesn’t understand the concept of work. MJ says that Reza admitted that it hurt his feelings when she said that he had to work harder in real estate to succeed. In other words, Reza works harder than MJ to be just as good as she is when it comes to selling homes. I know, it’s so confusing that Andy must repeat it. Mike jumps to Reza’s defense and says that he sold 7 million in real estate in December. As much as I dislike Reza, I don’t find it hard to believe that he is superb at his job. He seems like someone you would love upon first meeting, then as time goes on, you would see him for the nasty person that he truly is. It’s not like most normal people are BFF’s with their real estate agents, so this works out perfectly for him. Reza says that MJ has only sold one condo recently. When MJ tries to defend herself, he takes the high road by pretending to sleep and snoring obnoxiously. I am surprised that he didn’t go the typical five year old route by covering his ears and screaming “La! La! LAAA!”
Only immature on days that end with “Y.”