Error: Twitter did not respond. Please wait a few minutes and refresh this page.
We’ve got a new show to play with and I’m so excited I don’t whether to cry, dance, or run around in circles with my pants on fire. Anyway, I think it’s safe to say that for the next few weeks, we’re going to party with ten middle-aged who are competing for the title of She’s Got the Look…
It’s a little overwhelming for everybody involved.
In case you’ve missed the general hype, the premise of She’s Got the Look is to search out and discover a mature woman, or at least a woman over the age of thirty five, to be the next great supermodel. I don’t want to be cynical, but I have to admit that I’m kind of wondering about the wisdom of this show. After all, we are the culture that’s embraced mass injections of dangerous bacterium, hoping to induce facial paralysis and desperately maintain our smooth unlined faces of our youth. I think it’s safe to say that as a society, we have yet to master the concept of aging with grace. On the other hand, it’s not my money they’re blowing, and it’s a new show to watch about the fashion industry. ANTM is all well and good, but for the more mature (read old) woman it’s a little hard to relate to a bunch of barely pubescent nut jobs and by the ‘barely pubescent’ description you know I ain’t talking about Tyra.
Our host for the show is Kim Alexis a pretty blond model from the 80′s who, in my mind, always figured as the other Christy Brinkley. From a quick google search I’m putting her age at about 48 and I have to say she’s looking pretty good, if slightly plumper than her modeling days, but that could be due to excess water weight from when the producers defrosted and resuscitated her for the show. Possibly in an effort to look a little less matronly, she’s dressed all in black as she greets us standing outside against the neon backdrop of the NYC skyline.
Recently defrosted, the Kimsicle is the new face of cryogenics.
The Kimsicle tells us that this is a modeling competition like no other in a search for the new face of the fashion industry and a chance to crown America’s next GREAT model over the age of thirty-five. Okay, two things here: first, I love how they’re being so careful not to infringe on the Tyra franchise by replacing “Top” with the word “Great” and, second, who was the last great/top working model over the age of thirty-five? Even the great Heidi Klum has been branching into other areas. Regardless, Kim keeps on repeating her well-rehearsed lines, complete with appropriate tempo and pitch. Ten amazing woman will be chosen for the chance of the lifetime; the chance to work with industry experts, a lucrative modeling contract with the world renowned Wilhelmina Models, and a photo spread in Self Magazine. Hmmmm, Self Magazine seems kind of an odd choice, not exactly the fashion foremost of the magazines out there, but it seems that they’re co-producing the show with Wilhelmina models. But, more importantly, where’s the money? These shows always have some sort of money prize. Sadly, Kim isn’t going to answer me. First of all, why should she? And secondly, she’s stilling finishing her lines and doesn’t want to lose her place. After all, it’s got to be a little disorientating to be frozen for twenty years and then suddenly plunked down in 2008, but like the little trooper she is the Kimsicle continues…For some this is a long awaited dream, for others this is a second chance, but for all it’s an opportunity to redefine beauty and prove that they are better than ever whatever the age. So there you have it and we’ve got a competition, except that first they’ve got to find the women. We’re told that the judges are going to start their search in LA and that they’re looking for twenty semi-finalists to be flown to NYC.
It seems like LA has thousands of desperate for a chance hopeful older women who show up for the audition and we get a shot of a never ending line of primping posing middle-aged femme fatales. This show is undoubtedly going to become MILF heaven for a large number of teenage boys. One proud woman tells us that life starts at thirty five and another, apparently fresh from the meth amphetamine lab, tells us that she “keeps going, keeps going,” while she shake, shake, shakes.
Then we’re introduced to the judges:
First and most importantly we have the head judge and producer Sean Patterson, the president of Wilhelmina Models. I have to admit that this impresses me and makes the whole shebang look a lot more legitimate in my eyes. After a little googling, I also unearth that Sean Patterson may be a bit of a reality show junky having also launched and starred in the VH1 show, “The Agency”. Sean tells us that they are looking for more than looks, they’re looking for that certain special something about the woman’s personality that makes them say “wow” that person would be very marketable. Sean is clearly a no-nonsense type of guy who’s bound and determined to be the little General of our troops:
Oops, wrong General Patterson
Our fearless leader
Our next judge is Robert Verdi and I’m having one of those ‘love at first sight’ kind of things. Robert runs what he calls a creative services company which involves handling celebrity lives and styling/dressing them for the red carpet. Just in case we’re tempted to dismiss Robert as one of those ‘brothers of cousins of the producer’, we’re shown a clip of him schmoozing with Jessica Simpson; so, now we know he’s the real deal.
The men’s room is over there.
Robbie has decided to go the ‘bald is beautiful route’ and is wearing sunglasses perched firmly on his shaved head. I’m already impressed with his ability to accessorize. He tells us that with a mature model they’re looking for someone who is a friendlier beauty, who has a depth of character and you can see that in their eyes.
Our last judge introduces herself as Beverly…dramatic pause…Johnson and I have to say that Bev is looking mighty fine. It’s hard to believe that she was the first African American model to grace the cover of Vogue way back in 1974, which in model years makes her roughly a gazillion years old. At any rate, she’s old enough to have petrified, which might account for the complete paralysis of the majority of her face; the only thing moving when this woman speaks is her jaw. Seriously, do botox people never look at each other or do they just assume that it’s just the other person who looks like a ventriloquist’s dummy?
Could you push my cheeks up? I want to smile now.
Bev tells us that what they’re looking for is someone who still has a sense of fashion, style, of who they are, where they’ve been and where they want to go.
And, with the judges and their criteria out of the way, we start our audition search.
Shelly Slinker is our first contestant. The name may sound like a comic book villain, or a twisted attempt at a soft porn name, but Shelly actually seems like a sweet innocent kind of girl. She’s a 43 year old tall, slender blond, who’s pretty in a Midwestern country club/mall kind of way and she’s got no edge whatsoever. Shelly tells us that when she was young she had the opportunity to go to Europe and model, but, sadly, she gave it all up and she’s always been very mad at herself. She tells the judges that when she was 17 or 18 she was told that she was going to be one of the next supermodels, but instead she decided to marry her high school sweetheart and stay home to raise her children. And we’re off to a hopeful start as the judges unanimously decide to pass Shelly on to the next round. However, as she exits the stage I can’t help noticing that she has one of those weird bent knee walks which look really strange in heels. You know, where the person never steps out on to a straight leg so they’re always kind of, well…I hate to say it…but, slinking along.
Miss Jay would have a cow over this one.
We’re treated to a quick clip of Bev saying “lets get a jiggy” and the editors give us some hopping music to listen to while we watch a montage of various women desperately trying to get jiggy for the judges. Then, Ernestine arrives and everything comes to a crashing silence.
They want character? Well, here’s character.
You’ve got to love Ernestine. At age 59, she’s sporting a leopard skin unitard and a white braided headdress. I totally hope that when I’m 59, I’ll be brave enough to do that as well. My hubby is a little nervous at the thought, but I think I want to grow up to be like Ernestine. Our fearless leader asks to see her best model pose and Ernestine immediately embarks on a series of contortions that prompt a feeble “I wish I could do that” from Beverly. Sean is rubbing his head as if in pain and Robbie is wearing the world’s most fixed smile.
Is she gone yet?
Sean asks what Ernestine’s inspiration was, and she looks at him like he’s crazy before explaining that she’s trying to win this thing. She chose the unitard so that she could show them Ernestine. Sean asks her if she understands that they are seeing ALL of Ernestine. And Ernestine looks a little abashed. Sadly, Ernestine doesn’t go on to the semi-finals.
Tanya comes out next, wearing a black gauzy outfit that Sean says makes her look like Liza with a Z. Tanya, assuming this is a good thing, says thank you. However, Robbie goes one better, saying she looks like Cher had a garage sale. Love you Robbie. Okay, I may be wrong, but in my world this is only a compliment if you’re a performing drag queen. But, Sean continues that she looks adorable so I guess they mean it as a compliment and Liza, I mean Tanya, seems perfectly happy.
I was going to go with more of a Dolly look, but it just didn’t seem right.
She wearing a lot of makeup and speaking kind of quickly like she’s either really, really nervous or she’s had a few too many diet pills. Sean wants to know why she thinks she’s special and why does she think she’s got the look. Tanya tells the judges that she thinks she marketable; she’s proud that she’s been married seventeen years and has five fabulous children; and at 45 years of age she can still walk on the runway. Robbie’s not sure about this saying that she says all the right things like she’s in a pageant and needs to be perfect. Beverly agrees with Robbie, but has some empathy for Tanya because she has the OCD perfect thing too, which goes a long way to explaining the need to erase any hope of expression crossing her face. Sean then demonstrates why he’s our leader, saying that even though she seems fairly rehearsed, he thinks she’s somebody that’s just trying her best and he’s going to make a command decision and send her to the semi-finals. There’s no question of who’s the General in this group; sorry Bev it ain’t you.
After Tanya, we get a few more “no passes”, including Millicent who they would want to go shopping with and Doris who according to Robbie has a teeny tiny marshmallow head. I would love to hang out with Robbie some afternoon and listen to him go on about people.
Jodie is 40 years old and Robbie comments that he thinks she has a beautiful body but her ‘Shakespeare in the park’ dress is making it kind of hard for him to tell for sure. Jodie offers to get naked and Robert tells her, hell no, he’s gay, thank you very much. However, the General likes that she had the balls to offer to take her clothes off and Jodie, eager to please, assures him that she has balls. But, testicles are not what the judges are looking for in their mature women and, since we never see Jodie again, I think it’s safe to say that she’s out. However, the editors seem to feel that all the talk of balls is a perfect segue to Jassmun, who tells our judges that at 35 years of age, she is transforming physically, emotionally and spiritually. Robbie has that ‘Uh, Oh’ look on his face. Sean looks confused. But, Bev is honestly curious, bless her heart, and asks, “how?” Jassmun tells her that she is a transgender and Bev gives one of those drawn out “Ooooohhhhs” that you give when you don’t know what to say and you’re scrambling to figure it out.
A Twix moment.
Jassmun, obligingly jumps into the breach, explaining that she is changing from a male to a female. Robbie, Sean, and Bev all looked stumped. I have to say, Jassmun might not have model looks, but she handles herself really nicely.
Bahia is a 37 year-old woman from France. She tells the camera that nobody knows her background or what she used to look like, but she was never thin and recently lost 35 pounds. Whatevs, she’s drop dead gorgeous now.
Beauty without botox
She’s got sort of a Penelope Cruz, Ralph Loren thing going on. Our fearless leader asks her to pull her hair back and frowns at her. After a moment of concentrated silence, he announces that he loves her and the other judges agree. They tell her that they don’t need to ask her any questions, that’s it, she’s passing. You go girl. I have absolutely no sense of your personality, but there’s no doubt that you’re a beautiful woman.
Finally, we get an older woman with wrinkles who’s awesome and, at least from first appearances, sane. Sharon is a 58 year-old African American woman who has lost her husband in the last couple of years. She tells the judges that her husband had always told her that she could be a model. But, she was nervous when she came down to the audition and saw all the young pretty girls outside and she almost didn’t park her car. The little General asks her what her husband would say to her and Sharon promptly channels her husband saying, “Chicky Davis (his pet name for her) I’m so proud of you and they would be crazy not to take you.” Our leader is touched and says that he couldn’t be any more inspired than he is right now.
The General’s new muse.
They love her. I love her. And, she passes on to the next round. This uplifting moment is followed by a montage of unreal boobs, no votes from the judges, and generally unsuitable women.
When Karin comes out looking all tall, thin and model-like, it’s a little bit of a relief, even if she does have a bad hairstyle. And, of course, our resident stylist, Robbie, is all over the hair issue asking, “Why the mullet?” Karin tells him that she cuts it herself and Roberts all like, “Really? I couldn’t tell.”
I usually poke myself in the eyes before I cut my hair.
Then, Sean mentions that her fly is partly unzipped. I have to say that Karin is taking it pretty well. I would have come completely unglued if the General caught me with my fly down and would probably have run screaming from the stage. The judges all agree that Karin is a natural beauty and so much prettier than her hair style allows her to be and she’s a pass to the semi-finals.
A seriously butch looking African American woman named Paula is up next and the first thing I notice is that she walks like John Wayne when he’s in a gunfight.
Hey there little lady, thought I’d just mosey on over to say howdy.
When the General asks her for her age, Paul tells him “thirty…long hesitating pause…six.” I don’t know, it really sounded like she was going to say 34. Anyway, Paula tells the judges that she believes that she’s the evolution of women; a little androgyny and a little mystique. And, that it doesn’t take six-inch stiletto heels and your boobs popping out to be sexy. Of course, she does that lift and shove movement with her hands when she mentions boobs popping out. Robbie comes right out and asks if she’s straight. Paula answers that nothing about her is straight. The General likes her confidence and Paula goes on to the next round. Once out of the audition, Paula has a crying, praying, thanking sweet Jesus, breakdown, because she made it muscles, tattoos and all. Meanwhile, the General is pleased with his choice and holds up his palms for a high five from his co-judges. Robbie’s on the ball and smartly smacks his hand, but Bev doesn’t notice and high fives herself.
It’s not good to leave the little General hanging.
Leaving LA, our weary judges head south landing in Dallas. And, we start with a montage of a few women that aren’t going to make it, including a Dallas cheerleader hopeful who ends her routine by jumping and landing in a split. Robbie observes that her husband must luuuuuuvvvvv her. I also picked up a new piece of trivia from this segment. One of the contestants, unfortunately named Fifi, explains that her name really means daddy’s little girl. I never knew that and, apparently, neither did Robbie who’s struck with the revelation that, OMG, he should have been named Fifi. We also see clips of Ronica who lives on a farm, Ruth who’s hoping to overcome the limitations of her 4’9′ height, and Eleanor. Eleanor’s appearance is a little startling, prompting Robbie to hiss “Donatella Versace,” but I was thinking more along the lines of Rocky Horror Picture show myself.
It wasn’t a good look for Uncle Fester either.
Eleanor proudly tells our judges that she hasn’t had any cosmetic surgery. And our judges struggle to find an appropriate response.
Maybe you should consider it.
Next up is Alana a 37 year-old, 6’1′ pretty blond woman who describes herself as a lover not a fighter. She tells the judges that she modeled before, but she didn’t take it seriously. She says her confidence level wasn’t high enough and she messed it up. Alana also reveals that she’s never had children and she’s never been married. But, most importantly, she wants this chance really badly. Our fearless leader is conflicted and wants to know what his co-judges think. Robbie is concerned about her height, but he says yes. Bev is thinking more along the lines of a ‘no’, pointing out that Alana has never committed to anything. Alana has a passing facial moment that clearly expresses exactly what she’s mentally saying to Bev and it’s not nice. However, Bev says that if Alana Ãs truly committing to this competition, then yes.
I’ll commit you, b*tch!
At age 37, Sharice has had a lifelong dream of posing with a lion as a Siamese twin, because as she tells the judges, “thats artistic.” The judges are intrigued enough to ask for a demo. However, they don’t bring out a lion for her to demonstrate with, instead they give her Robbie. And, after the way Sharice’s eyes have been popping out Robbie’s looking a little skerd, kind of like the cowardly lion. But, Robbie’s a good sport and goes up on the stage to lie down for Sharice’s dream shot.
Robert’s last moment as a virgin.
Roxanne comes out next, looking as Robbie says, like Annette Bening and really the resemblance is pretty strong. Sean comments that the word that comes to mind when he sees her is poise. Bev asks Roxanne if she dances and, oddly enough, Roxanne answers that she’s a belly dancer. Somehow, belly dancing just doesn’t jive with the Annette Bening look, but Roxanne does some shaking for them. The judges love her and she passes with Sean saying, “that’s what we’re looking for.”
The new face for Secret Antipersperant.
Kathy has that tall, thin thing going on and the General wants to know why she
decided to pursue modeling at age 39. Kathy tells him that she grew up with a strange obsession for fashion and style, but she went to college, got married, and had a couple of kids, ages nine and eleven. The General asks if it would mean a lot to her for her kids to see her succeed as a model. Kathy says she struggles with the idea because she doesn’t want to leave her kids. The General is torn. Robbie is also torn, but he thinks, yes. Bev says no, because she doesn’t think Kathy is going to want to leave her children. Kathy agrees that it may not be her time. The General assumes his duties as our fearless leader and passes Kathy because he’s convinced that if she doesn’t try she’s going to regret it for all of her life.
The look of the caped crusader.
The judges’ last stop is NYC and, as always, New Yorkers are nothing if not colorful.
We start with Anna, who is 39 years old and has multiple personality disorder. Upon hearing this, the General utters a succinct, “Jesus” and wonders which one of his production assistants is going to get his ass fired. Anna assures the judges that all of her personalities are really sweet, except for the one that comes out when she’s been crossed, or passed over on a reality show audition; that personality is the mean one. In the interest of establishing the level of danger that eliminating her would place them in, the General asks what would happen if Robbie was her boyfriend and he cheated on her. Well, Anna would punch him and it would hurt. Alot.
I would so love to see her star as The Bachelorette
Alrighty then, time to judge and the General strategically passes the decision on to his co-judges. Robbie, being a smart young man, stresses how much he loves Anna and that he thinks she’s really beautiful, but, sadly, he sees her more as an actress. Bev suggests that Anna takes up professional boxing and then votes no. Clearly, Bev isn’t as easily intimidated by wackjobs as the boys are.
Celeste is 50 years old and feisty. The General asks her, “How old are you, honey?” And Celeste snaps back, “I’m fifty, honey.” Celeste isn’t one to let that “honey” crap float by.
I may not have multiple personalities, but that doesn’t mean I won’t go all diva on your ass.
The General takes this without a blink, saying that he wouldn’t have guessed 40. Celeste smiles and takes the opportunity to mention that not only was she in the modeling business when she was younger, but she had been in a show with Bev a number years past. Bev isn’t looking so thrilled, but the boys love it and get Bev up on the runway to do a walkoff with Celeste.
Out of my way, Bitch!
I think it’s pretty safe to say the Bev rules the runway. But, Celeste still passes on to the semifinals.
Laurie is fifty and has five kids aged twenty-nine to fifteen. The judges love her, decide she’s gorgeous and she passes on to the semi-finals.
This one is my husband’s favorite so far. Hmmmmm.
A shorter, but adorable, African American woman named Hope comes out and before she can catch her breath the General demands that she tell them her deepest, darkest secret. Hope says flat out that she likes very young guys. Robbie perks right up at that one and asks how young? Mindful of the legal limit, Hope tells him eighteen, but I’m guessing that she wouldn’t object to a cute sixteen year old. Robbie asks her if she’s ever shoplifted, because, hey, maybe they could hang out together sometime. Hope happily says, “yes” and Robbie wants to know what was the most expensive thing she ever shop lifted. Hope tells him a fur coat and Robbie is thrilled gushing, “You go girl.” Now, excuse me, before I get all caught up in this girl bonding moment, isn’t shop-lifting a pastime for teenage girls grabbing makeup or starving old people grabbing food? In my mind a fur coat kind of exceeds the idea of shop lifting and is more like major theft. Bev suggests that Hope is a thrill seeker and asks if she realizes that modeling is boring. Hope earnestly tells her that if you love something it can’t be boring. The General, apparently not a stickler on the point of ethical behavior, loves her personality calling her both enigmatic and magnetic. On a more practical note, Robbie asks her how tall she is. Sadly, Hope is only 5 1/2 feet, which as we all know is way too short for a model. Bev says she thinks Hope is lovely and funny, but she doesn’t know if she could be a model. Hope demands to know why? And waffling, Bev says she’s torn. The General takes command and tells Hope to get her ass down there and so he can inspect her face. After checking out her profile, the judges decide to unanimously pass her despite the height issue and the fact that they’re going to have hire extra security for the wardrobe staff. After she leaves the room, Hope has crying breakdown and, you know, I might be wrong, but I’m thinking Hope is an adorable little sociopath.
I like to mug little old ladies.Is that a problem?
So, now we have twenty women and they’re off to NYC for a final casting call. We’re shown a quick montage of ecstatic women as they spew quick soundbites expressing their excitement. Kim Alexis greets them and of course, they ooh and aw over the Kimsicle. I can’t help wishing that Kim Alexis had been a little less carefully coached in the delivery of her over articulated lines as she reminds the women that the winner will get a lucrative contract with Wilhelmina and photospread in Self magazine. Then, she delivers the bad news; by nightfall half of the women will be going home and, oh yeah, by the way, the competition begins now. Curtains open behind Kim, displaying a setup for a photography studio. The women are about to have their first shoot of the competition right then and there. They have thirty minutes to put together their own best look from the clothes in their luggage and based on the outcome of their photos the judges will decide which women will be sent home.
The women are all kinds of stressed as they rush around grabbing their clothes and applying makeup. And, we get a montage of women posing for the camera, dressing and chatting; some are confident, some are nervous, and some are whining. Sharon (I love Sharon) tells us that it’s the first time in her life that she’s ever had this kind of attention.
And, now, it’s time for the judging table. The General, Bev, and Robbie are seated at the judging table, while the Kimsicle stands to greet the women. I’m a little curious about how she and Bev are going to interact. After all, Bev is a judge and the Kimsicle is the host, but they’re both models and I can see them being all kinds of diva competitive. Our contestants come out as a group and Kim reintroduces the judges and reminds the women that ten of them will be leaving.
Roxanne, the belly dancer, is up first and Robert, the stylist, notes that she wore the same outfit at her audition. The General’s concern is that Roxanne is almost too poised and she needs to make sure to show the real Roxanne not the “actery” Roxanne. Then he turns it over to Kim Alexis to give the final decision of whether to stay or go. Kim delivers the catch phrase for this show, “She’s on the board.”
Segal is up next and, since we’ve never seen her before, I’m guessing she’s toast. Sure enough, Kim gets the first critique and tells her that she has an inner beauty that didn’t show up in the photo. Segal says that she photographs better than her pictures showed. But, the General vouches for their awesome photographer and Segal is gone.
Celeste, the former model, chose a bizarre outfit to wear for her photo and the General is not happy. He wants to know her inspiration for the outfit and Robbie quips, “MC Hammer and Beau Arthur.” The General isn’t appreciating the humor and points out to Robbie that if Celeste was one of his models and showed up dressed like that for a shoot he’d be dead in the water. But, Celeste gets lucky and despite the outfit she’s on the board.
Bev takes a moment to share some mentor like wisdom and tells the women that the key is to success as a model is to make the photog see their beauty. They have to MAKE the photographer see something in them. I’m thinking this is kind of interesting because, even after seasons of ANTM, I still tend to think of modeling as passively moving or not in front of the camera. Holy crap, Bev just summed up everything Tyra’s been trying to say in ten seasons and we haven’t even gotten past the semifinals. The Kimsicle agrees and kind of nastily uses Bev’s advice to segue to the next contestants saying, “with that in mind…” Pictures of two women we’ve never seen before, Alura and Christina, flash on the screen and Kim finishes, “You’re not on the board.”
My girl Sharon is called to step forward. Robbie loves her photo, saying that they could put a campaign on it right away. However, the General has a problem with one thing and calls her out for lying about her age. Instead, of the 58 she previously claimed on the runway, Sharon is actually 63. Sharon explains that she was nervous and never expected to be chosen and the General warns her never to lie to him again. Then the Kimsicle tells Sharon that she’s on the board. I have to say that, as of now, Sharon is my favorite. But, sadly, I’m guessing that someone a little younger and more mainstream is going to win this thing.
Shelly Slinker, the Midwest mom from Indiana, is up. The General tells her that he doesn’t see the same person in front of him as he sees in her film and they all agree that she’s prettier in person. So, Shelly’s not on the board. I’ve got to wonder who came up with the “on the board” catch phrase? Seriously, it can’t hold a candle to “pack your knives” or “you’re fired.”
‘Nothing straight about me Paula’ is the next to learn her fate. Bev says she’s been watching Paula and she seems very nervous. Paula reluctantly cops to being a little nervous. But, I’m wondering about Bev’s interest in her…Anyway, the judges agree that her closeup does her no justice and, for a woman that walks like John Wayne, Paula has a crapload of excuses. Sean repeats a list of her shortcomings: never modeled before, doesn’t feel comfy in front of a camera, doesn’t feel comfy in heels. So the question is can they overcome those issues? I have to admit that I’m kind of hoping they vote this one off. I like the idea of the new super model being a cool tough butch or futch, but this woman just seems a little too crazy. But, none of the judges are listening to me because the Kimsicle tells Paula that she’s on the board.
Cathy, the ambivalent mom, took a great picture. The General proudly reminds her that he was the person who told her to take the chance to come to NYC. And Bev, who initially voted no for her, says that she can’t tell if person is really beautiful until she sees picture. While all the judges agree that Cathy has the glow, Robbie comes closest to articulating what I’m thinking. He warns Cathy that, as they peel away layers, the judges want to know that there’s a real model in there, not a mom in a Christmas catalogue. And Cathy passes. Sadly, I’m pretty sure that Cathy is more likely to win than my favorite, Sharon, simply because people like to think of middle-aged women as moms in Christmas catalogues.
Pamela, who we’ve barely seen, is called down and, of course, she’s not on board.
Robbie is surprised that Karin, the mullet women, didn’t photograph as well as he expected. He says her picture is not a high fashion, instead, it’s more of a niche look for an obscure magazine and Bev, taking the opportunity to get in her catty comment, adds “or a drivers license.” Karin tells them that the photog session helped her to realize how much she could learn. The General likes this attitude and asks if she really thinks that she could learn. Karin is super earnest and sincere saying, “Oh yes, I can’t say anything unless I truly believe it.” Hmmmmm. Anyway, she’s on the board and, despite not trusting the super sincere, earnest act, I kind of like Karin.
Sandra doesn’t do much to sell her outfit and, despite claiming to have taken better pictures, she’s history.
Bahia, the gorgeous Frenchwoman, is an easy shoe-in.
Next we have Melissa, Carla, and Tiffany. The General says the question is whether they are that unique beauty they haven’t seen before. Apparently, Tiffany and Carla are not because they’re history, but Melissa is on the board. We’ve seen almost nothing of Melissa and I have to say that, while she’s really pretty, she looks like hundreds of other blond model actress types, so I guess unique is in the eye of the beholder.
Tanya, the next Liza Minelli, comes forward and the judges all express frustration at her need for perfection. Robbie explains that she needs to have flaws for people to relate to her. Tears are running down Tanya’s face and the Kimsicle decides it’s the perfect occasion to take a sadistically long time to deliver her news. She waits with her perfectly preserved cryogenic smile until Tanya starts to crack around the edges before delivering the news that Tanya is on the board.
And, then, we’re left with one spot and three desperate women: Hope the short sociopath; Lori my husbands favorite; and Allana the 6’1″ woman with commitment issues. The General loves that Hope went all out for her photos. Lori doesn’t like her picture. Allana, strangely enough, looked more confident in her photo than in person. Of course, at that moment, Allana is looking a little like a morning sick horse. The General says that all three women could get work, but the judges’ job is to figure out which woman could move to become a superstar. Kim gives the verdict and Hope, the sociopath, gets to stay.
Hope has another crying meltdown, similar to the one she had when she made the semi-finals, and I’m kind of hoping that she doesn’t do this every time she wins something. Meanwhile, Lori and Allana slink off stage.
The Kimsicle gives the winners their final pep talk for the day. All of them made it on to the board, but their goal is now to stay on the board. Over the next few weeks they will be living and competing together. But, in the end, only one of them can win and they won’t win this competition on looks alone because to be crowned the winner of She’s Got the Look they’ve got to be the complete package.
Melissa tells us that she never thought she’d have another chance for modeling. Sharon tells us she never thought that she would be in print like this, saying “I don’t look like a little old lady at all.” Hope quit everything for the chance. She just knew that it was going to work out. And, the ambivalent mom is thrilled to have the experience of the lifetime and she hopes that she wins.
So what do you guys think, any favorites yet? Is this going to be the next big thing in the reality show genre or is it just going to fade away into the recesses of Sean Patterson’s resume?
See ya next week for gauze, burlap and maybe a trapeze.
To read Chapter 10 of Yenta’s novel, “Honor Among Thieves”, click here.
To start from the beginning, click here.