Heeeeelllllllooooooo, Gasmi!!! We know you missed us so we won’t make you tell us… unless you really, really want to. What we really, really want (try to get THAT song out of your head now)- we want to tell you what we thought of Bravo’s new show Start-ups. We know you’ve been holding your breath, so let’s dive right in.
It’s the first episode so that means introduction time where each player gets to tell us who they are- did anyone else notice they were all naked at some point during their intro. Was this a conscience choice by the producers? An artistic reference to a new show being born, perhaps? Or just Andy Cohen wanting them to show some skin. Really, Andy, the only thing we hate more than a hipster dufus is a naked hipster dufus. Put some clothes on, please.
Meet Ben. Or Harry Snotter.
The intro on the show claims he is 31 but this pic from the website says 32. Which is it Bravo? Lies already? This is a show about computer nerds and no-one caught that and fixed it? We’re disillusioned already.
The best day of his life was when he found out he had dyslexia. Ok, we saw that episode of The Cosby Show and Theo didn’t think it was so great, but whatever. Enough about him.
Hermione’s next. Auto-correct has named her Herman, and so it shall be.
Herman says that she and Ben were separated when she was 2- she lived with her mum and Ben lived with their dad. They didn’t meet again until they went to the same camp and had a crush on the same boy…wait…
A BravoTV trick!
(Yes, the Hayley Mills version, we can no longer support Lohan and her dirty deeds)
Freeloader and high priced hooker.
Sarah is living at the Four Seasons, trading her services for free room and board; sounds like a hooker to us. Apparently each of her tweets is worth $10, 000…mmmmhmmmm, try writing a whole recap, byotch.
She’s ordering room service for her dog. We bet they just LOVE her at that hotel. We hate her already.
This is Kim in her toilet scrubbin clothes cuz that’s what the SV (yes, we just shortened the city’s name for them, they’ll thank us later) is all about; closing a million dollar deal one minute then scrubbin a toilet the next.
Kim isn’t endearing herself to anyone either- she slams her pregnant friend to the world then claims that being a NBA dancer is huge everywhere but the SV so she’s keeping it on the down low. News flash Kim: no one cares anywhere.
Dwight Schrute. Beets. Bears. Battlestar Galactica.