At the church. It looks like everyone’s wearing left over costumes from the first season of Dawson’s Creek. The choir director tells his kids that “Christmas is almost here and there’s not much rehearsal time left!” Best Friend’s daughter is all worried that Bridget and Christy won’t show up. The Choir of Outfits From 1997 starts singing “Away In a Manger.” In unison.
Don we now our . . . oh, forget it.
The choir director has every reason to be nervous. I mean, it’s not like the kids are singing a really simple song that every Christian knows anyway. Oh wait. They are. God, I hate Hallmark. 40 more minutes left?! What the hell? Christy and Bridget show up, so if you were worried about that sub-plot, you can rest easy now.
Catherine steps out of the “subway.” Christy again calls her the “museum lady.” She works. In. A. Gallery! Shut up, Tate Donovan! Catherine talks to Best Friend about telling Christy about Danny. What should she do? She should just tell him already and end this crap fest! Danny lurks around the Xmas trees, and Christy sees him. He runs after Danny, but to no avail. Tension filled violins tell the audience that we should be on the edge of our seats.
Christy, in his haste to grab Danny, gets hit by a bike messenger. Awesome. Catherine catches up to Christy and invites him up to her apartment. I really don’t know why. He’s not wounded or anything. And it’s a Hallmark movie, so no one can French kiss until the last 30 seconds of the movie. You know, I think I had the same flannel shirt that Christy is wearing in high school. Of course, that was at the height of the My So-Called Life phase, when everyone was wearing flannel and listening to The Lemonheads and Matthew Sweet. Methinks Hallmark spent the entire budget on the soundtrack to this film. Was it worth it? Of course not.
They blah blah blah about Danny and kids and teddy bears. Catherine says she has to tell Christy something, probably that she has herpes but she really likes him so can he look past that? But I’m wrong. She tells Christy that she’s seen Danny at the “museum” that’s actually a gallery if you ask me. I’m noticing an extreme lack of chemistry between Tate “one season of The O.C.” Donovan and Anne “crazy as fuck” Heche. And Christy runs away as Catherine watches him through the window.
God, I miss Ellen. And having good industry representation.
Best Friend walks out of the pizza parlor with a salad. She runs into Officer Tough Voice. They vaguely flirt. The brilliant use of the Hallmark movie sub-plot is almost Shakespearean. Christy tells Officer Tough Voice that his cash box is missing. The NYPD puts everything on hold to look for a missing cash box from The Byrne Family Christmas tree stand. I’m sorry, but that’s just much more important than murders and drugs and rape, if you ask me. So Officer Tough Voice says that even if Christy doesn’t think that Danny took the cash box, he can put out an APB on Danny, which would make it easier to find him. APB stands for All Points Bulletin. I learned that from that insane 12-disc X Files game. Yeah, I’m a dork. Eat it.
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