Sin City Rules Recap: What Happens In Vegas…

We are first introduced to the biggest personality on the show, Lana Fuchs. She has her hands in pretty much every industry and her husband is the owner of Helix Electric and he’s not some grandpa old guy like I totally pictured. Lana is a Billionaire and expects the finest, luxurious, and most grand things from life and feels that true power comes from within. She clearly channels Elvira and she wears fur in the desert heat of Nevada…in the daytime. I sort of really love her.

Alicia Jacobs is a celebrity stalker and legitimizes her obsession by claiming to be an entertainment reporter in Las Vegas. If a celebrity calls her, she jumps at the chance to hang out with them in the hopes of getting some kind of information. This includes Louie Anderson with whom she goes antiquing with…I didn’t know Louie Anderson was still alive so I guess she does a great job at reporting.

Next up is Jennifer Harman, a professional poker player, who couldn’t be more out of place on this show. She’s very normal and with all the female poker players stationed in Vegas, she was the only one they could convince to come on the show? Jennifer Tilly? Shannon Elizabeth? Beth Shak? Trishelle from the Real World? You know those bitches would jump to be on television. Jennifer describes herself as a pit bull in a chihuahua’s body but it’s more like a fruit bat in a sloth’s body.

Lori is the owner of Rain Cosmetics and says that there are plenty of women who make their money off of their looks and she makes hers off of them. She has a twin sister named Lisa who is her soul mate and whom she can’t do anything without. Lori has all the money and cosmetic resources at her fingertips yet she can’t get rid of the bags under her eyes? Have any of you even heard of Rain Cosmetics before?

We meet Amy at her father’s grave site where she explains that she is the daughter of an infamous mob hit man. She says that his name still gives her family power and that power is what gets you respected. She doesn’t engage in the mob activities and owns who her father is because she can’t change whose blood is running through her veins. Shouldn’t she be hanging out in a bar in New Jersey with the rest of the mob ladies?

The women are all getting ready for a black and white party supporting AFAN, an AIDS awareness charity in Nevada. The women explain that anyone who is anyone will be attending this extravagant event. Lori has invited Jennifer and Alicia to get ready at her house and get their makeup done by her company. Jennifer knows Lori through her husband and Alicia has met Lori at several events in the past. Alicia meets Jennifer and claims that she interviewed her years ago but Jennifer has no clue who Alicia is. Jennifer is pretty much like the rest of us because I had no idea who this chick was either even though she has explained 4 times already that she is an entertainment reporter. Lori and Lisa decide to wear matching fairy outfits which would be super cute if they were maybe 10 years younger.