Sister Wives Episode 8 Recap


By LadyBaldy | | 11:00 am | 27 Comments

Sunset city“We’re changing it to Sunset City” – Robyn

Welcome to another recap of my favorite TLC show about those crazy but lovable polygamists, SISTER WIVES!

The title of this episode is “Another Wife” and let me tell you,  my jaw DROPPED when I saw the title. Initial reaction: YOU ARE EFFING KIDDING ME! Robin hasn’t even dropped her first baby yet and you want ANOTHER WIFE???

Lo and behold, I had nothing to worry about – the title refers to friends of the Browns. In my opinion, this episode was probably the most meaty and interesting episode in the history of the show. We get some insight into the struggles faced by people that share the Browns’ faith, and we get to hear the Browns weigh in on Warren Jeffs and the FLDS, and how the WJ and his followers relate to their reasons for doing the show in the first place

Before we get into some pretty deep discussion about polygamy, let’s catch up with the Brown teens. The kids have finished out their first school year in Vegas and had their summer break, and they are finally adjusting to their new life. Hunter and Madison, the two most unhappy teens, have really made great strides towards becoming well adjusted. THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY. It also makes Janelle and Kody happy, as it should. Hunter no longer sulks around; in fact, Hunter wants to play football again!! That is a huge sign that his depression is lifting.

Hunter is backHe’s BAAAACK! I’ve never been so happy to see football gear.

Happy JanelleYAY for Janelle being happy!

Madison has decided to focus on being more positive since being grumpy is exhausting. Her new mood is reflected in her new hair color. SHE LOOKS SO MUCH BETTER!

Madison After 2Teens, I know black hair is a statement; it’s a statement I made – but you should know that hair dyed solid black looks good on approximately 0.05% of the population. If you don’t believe me…


…then look at this pic.  Now look me in the eyes and tell me she looks better here. I DARE YOU.dad is out of his mind

She’s a little cutie when she has a nice hair color and smiles. Get the shotgun ready, DTKB: you’re going to have horny teen boys at Janelle’s door. Seriously tho, you go Madison!

Friends of the Browns are in town! Andy and Nicole, friends and neighbors and church peers, have come to visit!  Andy teases them for moving to Sin City, and Robyn says they are trying to make “Sunset City” happen. That’s nice, Robyn, but lots of cities have beautiful sunsets. You know what a lot of cities don’t have? A 24 hour orgy of alcohol, sex, and gambling. The name stays.

According to the Browns, there are a lot of people in their church who believe in plural marriage but don’t practice it. As we will learn from Andy, it’s hard out there for a pimp man looking to add wives to the marriage.

The family and their guests head to the mountains for an outdoor picnic. As we watch the families drive up and set up the picnic, we learn more about Andy and Nicole. They were both raised in plural families and they believe in it, but they’re currently monogamist. As we will see, they are fighting what is comfortable to them to try and live their faith. My two cents – if these two people ever bring in another wife, it is going to be a disaster.

Nicole not happyIf you make this face when you’re talking about how you want to be in a plural marriage, you don’t want to be in a plural marriage.

Andy wants to talk to Kody about how to date a woman while you are already married. They separate from the others and talk over the grill; how very manly!. Apparently finding another wife is on Andy’s mind a lot. He would prefer to marry someone with kids because he’s 37 and he doesn’t think it’s fair to date someone who is young and just starting out in life. It turns out that Andy and Nicole have already have 6 kids, and Christine thinks it would be hard to bring another wife in at that point. Meri disagrees – her family had six kids when her dad took another wife, and it worked out just fine. Meri – 1, Christine – 0.

Andy says that he and Nicole know it’s right, but then you see someone else that you think is pretty, and then all of the safeguards kick in, a.k.a., the guilt. Andy wants to know how to take something sacred and holy and do it in a way that is appropriate? Translation: how do you court another wife without getting a boner?

Andy confused 1“I’m so glad I get to talk to you about this! How did you deal with being attracted to other women in front of your wife?”

Kody reply“It wasn’t really a problem. I courted my wives because I felt called to do so.”

andy2“I get that, I do. But seriously, did you like, take cold showers, or think about old lady boobs, or what?”

Kody reply 2“Andy, how dare you? My unions are all the work of the Lord! Sex has nothing to do with it!”

Andy feels bad“Wow, Man, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you or anything…”

Kody reply 3“HAHAHA I’m fucking with you. In case you hadn’t noticed, my four wives are sitting RIGHT THERE and there’s a camera filming us. We’ll talk later, dude!”

As the family plays what appears to either tag or “let’s all run around in a field screaming”, Andy tells us that it is difficult to find another wife. Some men ignore the wants and needs of their wives to chase tail, but Andy thinks that is wrong. He and Nicole think about polygamy all the time, but they can’t just throw anyone into the mix. They have to find the right person. Judging by their expressions and body language, the right person is really no person.

Andy wants to learn Kody’s secret. He also apparently wants to alienate the wives. Andy is observing to try and figure out how they make it work. He then says this, and I quote: “In Utah, you guys all lived together as a family. now you don’t. So whether anyone wants to admit it or not, essentially, you guys share custody with Kody. So now it’s almost a divorce.”

YEAH. I know, right? Meri makes this face:

Meri pissed“COME AGAIN, MY FRIEND? I will cut you.”

Andy is still yammering on after briefly acknowledging that maybe this is a sensitive topic. He and Nicole sleep in the same bed every night. If he gets another wife, he feels he will cut his life in half and he when he is with his other wife, he will be thinking about how Nicole is home alone. For people who say that they want to be polygamists, they sound a lot like people who DON’T want to be polygamists. They aren’t really even conceiving of this second person as being an equal wife. Instead, she is already viewed as an interloper causing drama in their marriage.

Meri says understands what Andy is saying. People have asked her if she would be in a plural marriage if it was not part of her religion, and she doesn’t think she would choose it. Whoa! That’s a huge admission. Kody makes this face:

say WHAT“Whaaaaaaaaat?”

Kody may think the truth is sad, but Meri has a point. We live in a monogamist world. that’s reality. Kody says they did it by way of commandment, but he would do it all again because of love. Well OF COURSE he would! You get to the center of attention and have four wives. You don’t have to share them with anyone, so you don’t know what the jealously and the neglect feel like. That’s like saying “I was born into money, but if I had to choose whether or not I was going to be rich, I would still choose it!” DUH OF COURSE YOU FUCKING WOULD! Whatevs.

Andy doesn’t want to approach plural marriage as a burden of his faith, but that is how he feels about it. When Andy is sitting in church, he suddenly sees that all the single ladies are potential wives, and he has to shut down his inner perv.

It’s Sunday and you know what that means – Home church! Christine’s house is serving as the chapel today. They’re stoked because they have their friends there to participate. I bet! They pray, do hymns – and there was no warning to mute the TV during the hymn, so I’m kind of pissed at TLC.

hymnDear TLC,  NEVER MAKE ME LISTEN TO A BUNCH OF WHITE PEOPLE BUTCHER MUSIC WITH OFF KEY SINGING AGAIN! Love, LB.

There are no priests or rabbis in their church; it is common for dad to head up church service. Since this Sunday is special, Kody has asked each of the wives to prepare something. Christine tailors her sermon to the younger kids by taking a modern concept – the cell phone everyone has on them all the time because we are sheeple tied to our technology – and tells them that there is someone they can always call if they need to talk, and that’s God. God’s number? J-E-S-U-S. While I think that’s a pretty clever way to explain the concept of Christ and God to kids, I just want at least one of those kids to actually try to dial that on a phone and then get disappointed when they get nothing. Why? Because I’m a horrible person. Seriously though – you know you would laugh.

Dial 9 first Don’t forget to dial 9 first

Andy gets to speak too, and he tells the family how brave he thinks it is that they are living their life in the open. He had to hide his whole life. He relates it to the story of Daniel, who threw open his windows and yelled his prayers when he was told he could not pray to the Lord, and that is what the Browns are doing. Comparing a family to a biblical hero = best compliment ever. Try it sometime.

Mykelti seemed to be inspired by Andy’s speech. She told her Mom (Christine) that she gets what they are doing now, and she is proud of them because they are putting themselves out there to pave the way for the acceptance of others. Christine is moved to tears, and rightfully so – Mykelti finally respects her! Meri says they don’t have a lot of support from their community for their decision to go on TV, and Andy’s support meant a lot. It certainly made up for his divorce comment. Good save, Andy!

Serious time – Kody is going to talk to the family about Warren Jeffs. Since he’s doing it on camera, he is essentially talking to us about it as well. It’s time to confront the stereotypes that plague the polygamist community. The grown ups think Warren Jeffs is evil, and say they are nothing like him. That’s true. Say what you will about the Browns, they would NEVER EVER marry their girls off to dirty old men.

Kody wisely states that those who inherit their power often do not respect that power and they abuse it. I’m agreeing with Kody, and it’s a new an unusual feeling. I think it’s good that he is discussing it with the whole family because I am sure the kids hear that comparison about their family, and it’s good to talk about it instead of ignoring it. The entire community that the Browns are a part of is sickened by Warren Jeffs and his church. Robyn gets super angry about it. It’s the most assertive I’ve ever seen her. I like this Robyn. Next time she’s acting all quiet spineless damsel in distress, someone should just whisper “Warren Jeffs” in her ear.

Robyn mad“Where is he? IMMA SNAP HIS NECK!!!!”

Christine gets pissed not only about the evils of Warren Jeffs; she also gets really upset that people still assume that community is the norm for polygamists. Kody thinks that the hiding and secrecy of the FLDS is how they are able to pervert the polygamist faith, and that by opening up the community and making it safe, those being abused could go to the normal polygamists and and be free to practice their faith without the abuses. If polygamists like the Browns trash the people in WJ’s community, it will alienate them and drive them into further secrecy and hiding. Christine wants them to come out of the compound to a world that is safe for them. If the normal polygamists judge them, then they have no one.

This is the most intelligent I have ever heard these people sound EVER, and I love them for it. They will not judge the people trapped in abusive polygamist society because they want to be able to support them and show that they can still practice their faith without having to live in a closed and oppressive community. I never really thought of it that way, but that must present an enormous spiritual conflict to those trapped in WJ land – if they leave, they have no where to go that they can safely practice their faith. The Browns are not just trying to pave the way for polygamists like them, they are trying to open the minds of our society to make it harder for people like WJ to do what they do.

Also, Warren Jeffs only got sentenced to 20 years in prison. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 20 YEARS?? Can’t we just put him in a hole somewhere until he dies? (This is why I’m never selected for juries).

It’s grown up time! The grown ups take a dinner cruise on Lake Mead. It looks like fun. It’s time to grill Nicole! For realsies – we’ve already heard Andy’s take on polygamy, let’s find out more about Nicole’s views. Meri says that they seem like they really want polygamy from their words, but she is curious about their motives. Nicole knows it is “true”. She grew up with it, but it’s their faith.

Robyn is next – does Nicole see any other benefit besides the fact that the testament commands it? Nicole’s response? Iit’s good for the kids will have playmates and lots of moms, right? Oh, dear. Janelle makes this face:

Janelle

Nicole is not getting it, and Robyn goes in for the kill – does Nicole see any benefit as to having relationships with your sister wives? Nicole has to THINK about this one.

Nicole on the spot“WOW, um…I mean…well, um….sharing shoes? I mean, I can borrow hers but I don’t want her borrowing mine..wow…this is hard….can I get back to you?”

playmates.Bitch called the other kids ‘playmates’. Oh HAYULL NO!”

Christine was disappointed in Nicole and Meri says that Nicole and Andy are not ready. I have to agree. If the only reason you want to be a polygamist is “we have to” and “my kids have playmates and more supervision,” you are missing the point. She is clearly not excited about the idea of having sister wives, and her fears – not having Andy every night and her kids not having their dad around all the time – scream that she wants to stay monogamous. You know what she actually tells us? They are SACRIFICING THEIR RELATIONSHIP for this.

Andy and Nicole 2Let me just tell you two what everyone, including you, is thinking: THIS IS A REALLY BAD IDEA

Meri says it’s important to find someone who wants to be a part of the family, not someone who wants just the man. Meri also says you cannot understand the benefits until you do it. They joke that they should write Polygamy for Dummies. DO IT! IT COULD BE YOUR FAMILY BUSINESS!

It’s clear that Nicole and Andy are not ready. Andy is worried about being attracted to others, and Nicole is going to be super uncomfortable sharing her husband. Compare that to the Browns, who say that they felt a spiritual call to bring each wife into the marriage. Andy and Nicole feel obligated because of their faith, but they can’t seem to conceive of plural marriage in spiritual terms.

Whether they realize it or not, the Browns have already taught us how polygamist marriage works: the First Wife has to be the driving force behind it. If you’ve been watching since Season 1, you know that Meri has been the captain of the polygamy ship, not Kody. She convinced him to seek other wives, and they were smart enough to bring in two women that they already knew very well. Christine and Janelle both knew Kody and Meri for a long time before they married Kody, and both ladies have said that it was Meri’s influence that convinced them to get on board. You may also recall that it was Meri who first brought up courting Robyn. Kody and Meri met her at a party and Meri felt a spiritual pull towards Robyn.

Compare Meri’s behavior and actions to Nicole. Nicole cannot conceive of not having Andy all to herself, she doesn’t seem to see herself having a beneficial and positive relationship with her future sister wife, and she sees the hypothetical children of her sister wife as playmates for her kids – not siblings, not children that she shares, but playmates. As a result, Andy feels like he is on a wife hunt by himself, and that makes him feel like he is cheating on Nicole. Of course you feel that way! If you want to mirror the success of the Browns, then your wife needs to be involved 100%.

It’s too bad that Andy and Nicole are trying to push forward with their plan even though they clearly want to keep their marriage the way it is. Perhaps they can get past their feelings of obligation to just enjoy being married to each other. I’m sure it will be okay with Jesus, and if you’re still concerned about what Jesus thinks of you, just give him call! I heard Christine has his number.

In closing, Meri says you have to just jump in, while Kody says that it takes a lot of work. Robyn adds “it might take a couple years” AWKWARD!

This episode was very enlightening and interesting, but I want to hear whether the situation with the kids is any better, and I hope they address that next episode. You can’t just drop bombs like “Dayton may leave because the other kids are mean” and then leave it unresolved.

What did you think? Are Andy and Nicole ready to find another wife? Do you think that the Browns are noble and brave for trying to break down the walls of prejudice towards plural families, or do you think they’re deluding themselves and this whole thing is a disaster?

LadyBaldy
About

LadyBaldy was raised by TV and thus has a completely warped version of what life is supposed to be like. She cannot have a conversation about anything without comparing situations and people to her favorite shows and movies. During the day, she works in clinical research and at night, she watches TV and discusses it with her cats.

27 Comments

  1. 1
    no cars go
    Posted November 11, 2011 at 11:40 am

    so, let me preface this by saying i’m genuinely curious about other people’s responses to this and in no way am i trying to offend anyone.

    my question is, if there is a part of your religion that you believe to be true but to actually fullfill it bothers you to the point that you can’t bring yourself to do it, why wouldn’t you try to find a different religion you feel comfortable with the principles of? i admit that i’m a horrible person to understand this concept because i am not at all religious. but, from what i understand a main part of their getting to the celestial kingdom (i think they call it) is polygamy. so if you can’t bring yourself to practice polygamy then you don’t get in? so they would be torturing themselves to get in. i don’t know it just seems to me that religion should be something that brings joy to people’s lives and not so much guilt, stress, and discomfort.

    sorry for such a serious comment! i’m just wondering if anyone can enlighten me.

  2. 2
    LadyBaldy LadyBaldy
    Posted November 11, 2011 at 11:59 am

    @no cars go – I welcome your serious comment. We come to TvGasm to laugh, but we can learn here too :)

    I want to add more to the discussion but I am typing this on my piece of crap phone. More later!

  3. 3
    beebs
    Posted November 11, 2011 at 12:08 pm

    People not believing all the tenets of their chosen religion is the reason why there are so many religions in the world. You don’t like that the Catholic church won’t allow divorce? make your own religion! But that’s not how “religion” works. that’s how faith works. You may believe whatever you want, but religion is the law that dictates how you practice that faith.

    I think Meri wanted more sister wives, because she grew weary of Kody. So she got more wives to share the burden of both Kody and the kids.

    Ever noticed how no woman wants multiple husbands?

  4. 4
    Honeybee
    Posted November 11, 2011 at 12:14 pm

    @no cars go – I get what you are saying. I was raised in a catholic family. A little over 10 years ago I was in a class (call it bible study) when a discussion came up regarding Papal infallibility. This along with other things was something that bugged me. I also didn’t appreciate the church trying to influence my political views at Sunday mass (totally happened btw). When I realized that I was going through the motions, and didn’t really believe what I was saying, I knew I needed to step back.

    So to answer your question in a more direct way, yes. There are beliefs that one is expected to hold as truth. I don’t believe them. Therefore I can’t profess my unyielding faith if I don’t believe it.

  5. 5
    captain-save-uh-hoe
    Posted November 11, 2011 at 12:16 pm

    @ no cars— there are two different sets of Mormons when it comes to polygamist beliefs. Forgive me, but I haven’t read up on the subject in a while, but if you’re FLDS (Fundamentalist lds) you believe in polygamy, while LDS does not. I think the struggle with whether polygamy is right or not according to those of the Mormon faith dates back quite awhile has the texts on the subject have changed their mind and opinion on Polygamy. Sometimes it was right, other times it was declared not to be right and then later in texts it was declared to be right and so on… So I’m assuming it may just be that struggle of figuring out which side of that line you fall on. It’s a little vague of an answer, sorry, but that’s vaguely what I remember after having read “Under the Banner of Heaven”

  6. 6
    kthxbai
    Posted November 11, 2011 at 12:39 pm

    So the at risk and troubled teen stuff was just show drama! I was so played!

    @LadyBaldy I have to disagree with you about black hair. It looks just fine on the about 88% of the population of earth came with it. The 0.05 is for the 12% of people that came with colory hair.

    I do agree that Madison looks 900% cuter now, and I’m also glad they get to use hair color in the 1st place!

    Nicole and Andy were 1 of the saddest things I’ve ever seen on any reality show. The way they kept looking at each other near about made me start crying.

    They’re obviously totally in love with each other and neither 1 of them wants any more wives or husbands and it’s breaking their hearts to think somehow that they’re supposed to “sacrifice their relationship.”

    Thanks for confirming that they really did say those actual words and I didn’t just imagine it.

    I guess I’m going to say this every week like a broken record: Polygamy and modern ways love marriage do.not.mix.

    They broke my heart so bad and with so much cheese that I started thinking about that scene in The Sound of Music where Maria’s all conflicted and the Mother Superior has to remind her that love between 2 people is holy too.

    (OK she said a man and a woman but MY belief is that God’s way too busy to be worrying about what body parts people have, and is just tickled when any of us love each other that much.)

    Andy in case you’re reading this those safeguards are there for a reason! Actually several.

    1 is that it would be every which way unfair to some girl that really wants a plural marriage to condemn her to a husband that really doesn’t.

    Sorry. I got a little bit carried away by my Preachy McJudgington side. But they made me feel so sad!

    Anyway, Andy’s comment about the Browns being divorced isn’t much different from what I’ve said so I can’t disagree with him.

    LOL It felt odd to me to agree with Kody about anything too but I do give him and the sister wives props for educating people that polygamy does not equal Juniper Creek and for reaching out to the Junipers so they’ll have someplace to escape to.

  7. 7
    LadyBaldy LadyBaldy
    Posted November 11, 2011 at 1:04 pm

    @kthxbai – Perhaps I was not clear. I think people who were born with jet black hair looks just fine. I live in the Bay Area and I am surrounded by lots of folks with naturally jet black hair that looks beautiful and fantastic on them.

    I said that hair DYED solid black looks bad on 99% of the population, specifically Caucasian teen girls who have pale coloring. I am definitely among that 99% and I have the pics to prove it!

    I myself am not religious, but I cannot imagine that it is easy to be raised to believe that something is true and feel that you cannot live the way your faith dictates you should. It takes a lot to say “I don’t believe this anymore.” If you decide to join a church as an adult, that is one thing; you can evaluate what you are hearing and decide whether or not that you believe that what you are hearing is true. When you are raised in a faith, you don’t really get that choice; you are simply told “this is the way it is.” Both Andy and Nicole were raised to believe that polygamy is true, and obviously they believe it to the degree that they are willing to put their own relationship on the line, and that breaks my heart.

    I have a lot of respect for the Brown family because at no time during the episode did they put any pressure Andy or Nicole to seek other wives. If anything, the Browns think that they should wait. Meri did say that you have to just jump in, but she also expressed that she doesn’t think they’re ready. I grew up around many ultra-religious folks who are more than happy to lecture others on how they should live. I don’t get that vibe from the Browns at all.

    Sidenote – I checked out the twitter feeds of some of the Brown teens, and I was kind of surprised at how NORMAL they are. They sound exactly like my teenage cousins. I don’t know why I was so surprised because they seem very normal when we see them on TV, but it was still nice to see that they sound and act like normal teenagers, religious or secular.

  8. 8
    no cars go
    Posted November 11, 2011 at 1:39 pm

    thanks for the feedback everyone! i just feel bad for them because they seem to be very happy, healthy people without the polygamy. how unfortunate that just one aspect of the religion that they were born into is causing them so much stress.

    sidenote, i’ve always thought that madison was the prettiest of all the girls. she has her mothers facial features.

  9. 9
    kthxbai
    Posted November 11, 2011 at 2:00 pm

    LOL LadyBaldy I agree with you about the hair, I was just teasing and being a smart ass about the %s.

    And complaining because people with colory hair can get these subtle little highlights so easy but put a different shade of black on regular hair and nobody can tell you did anything. It’s a pet peeve, so not fair and caused by me wishing I could get aubergine glints with a drug store product.

    Nicole and Andy broke my heart too. Lots of us get taught stuff as little kids that we think about in a different way when we grow up.

    Maybe they can take some inspiration from all the people that were raised Catholic but use birth control and break those other rules like being willing to get pregnant every time they do it and never doing anything that couldn’t result in having a baby. Or even getting married if you don’t want kids. And that’s just the straight 1s!

    It just doesn’t seem like now that they’re adults that they’re getting joy and comfort from their faith. @no cars go said it better than I could though!

  10. 10
    SMH
    Posted November 11, 2011 at 5:23 pm

    Warren Jeff’s received the maximum sentence on both charges…life in prison. That typically means 30 years before parole is even considered. AND it only took the jury 30 minutes to deliberate. Thought a light sentence on this by a Texas jury didn’t sound quite right.

  11. 11
    Lizbot
    Posted November 12, 2011 at 6:32 am

    Ok, let me preface my question with 3 disclaimers:
    1. I am definitely anti-polygamy, primarily from a feminist point of view. I think it’s a sweet deal for the men in these communities to have figured out a way to convince women that God has commanded them sleep with lots of different women on a regular basis. It’s not me, baby, it’s the bible! There’s a lot of other reasons I’m not pro-polygamist, but that would be the main one. I think if the practice swung both ways — i.e., women could have multiple husbands — it would bug me less.

    2. After reading this recap, I have to agree that I have a new respect for the Brown family. While I disagree with their lifestyle (and their choice of a shared mate), I have to support their stated reasons for going on tv. Basically, they sound like good people.

    2. While they disagree with their lifestyle, I consider it none of my business if they choose to live that way (other than from a voyeuristic way of me getting all judgy while reading the recaps, of course)

    So, my question is, having some mild working knowledge of the LDS faith, but very little of the FLDS faith: what part of the “testament” commands people to live polygamously? I have never seen that anywhere in the traditional bible (I’m not Christian now, but I used to be), so I’m going to guess it’s somewhere in the book of morning? And what is the rationale? I can understand that the religion condones polygamy, but is there something in the religious texts that actually commands it? I’m just curious on that point.

  12. 12
    fact
    Posted November 12, 2011 at 9:23 am

    Genesis 4:19
    And Lamech took unto him two wives.
    Genesis 31:17
    Then Jacob rose up, and set … his wives upon camels.
    1 Samuel 1:1-2
    Elkanah … had two wives; the name of the one was Hannah, and the name of the other Peninnah.
    1 Kings 11:2-3
    Solomon … had seven hundred wives … and three hundred concubines.
    2 Chronicles 13:21
    But Abijah waxed mighty, and married fourteen wives….

  13. 13
    Homework vs Tv-- Tv wins
    Posted November 12, 2011 at 2:03 pm

    I agree with all of this… religion should not be something that causes you guilt and makes you unhappy. Jesus said, “I have come that they may have life, and have it abundantly.” John 10:10. I don’t think Andy and Nicole will ever be ready, their body language and facial expressions said it all. I really like how the Browns approached the situation, with open-mindedness.

  14. 14
    Tapnfeet99
    Posted November 12, 2011 at 9:03 pm

    Dude Solomon was a busy guy.

    I was part of the 0.05% of the population that looked good with dyed black hair and I’m pale as a ghost, but since my hair is naturally dark brown, it actually didn’t make a huge difference lol.

    I actually gained respect for Kody this episode which shocked me. I normally find him a hypocritical greasy-haired douche.

    Madison always looks cute with her hair straightened. Don’t like her ‘fro. (some look good with one, she does not). I agree that she’s the most attractive teen in that family.

  15. 15
    kthxbai
    Posted November 13, 2011 at 5:15 am

    It’s not the Book of Mormon that says they have to polygamize.

    I think Joseph Smith said he had a special revelation about it. Plus you can google and read about this extra stuff they have on top of the Book of Mormon called Doctrine and Covenants and polygamy was in 1 of those a long time ago.

    It seems like to me that lots of religions have the extra stuff thing. Like there’s the Koran but then there’s the hadith. And there’s the Bible but there’s Canon Laws. And there’s the Torah and there’s also the Talmud. And that’s just the religions Abraham started up!

    Once you get to the really old religions that have been at it for more 1000s of yrs their piles of stuff are too huge to even think about.

    I read somewhere that nobody knows how many different Hindu gods there are but the experts are pretty sure its in the millions. Which in a way is just another kind of extra stuff because they mean millions besides the basic 108 names thing.

    Anyway, all that is probably how come 1 of the 1st etiquette rules we get taught when we’re little kids is that it’s not polite to talk about religion.

    Because if we think people can argue about what this or that word of the Bible or the Koran or the Book of Mormon means according to how people talked in whatever time and place etc, once people get started tearing into the extra stuff all hell breaks loose!

    Which naturally will start them all arguing about hell.

    But to get back to the really weighty topics:

    @Tapnfeet99 I think Madison’s the best looking of the teens too. Because she looks just like Janelle! I think she’s the prettiest of all the sister wives!

    And btw you’re so lucky! Pale skin and dark hair is so pretty but not that many people are born with it and if you’re not, like @LadyBaldy says, it’s just not going to happen.

    And not just with hair. 1 sad day in the 9th grade I learned that putting light makeup on a beige face won’t give you that natural Snow White look either. It did look kind of cartoony though.

    My hairstylist (that I have to go see to get my aubergine glints) was telling me that her rule is that for a natural look that looks good, people should be real careful about anything that’s more than 3 or 4 shades lighter or darker than your eyebrows and eyelashes natural color. Even if you always wear mascara.

    That made me feel validated about my controversial opinion that Beyonce would look way better with darker hair, the color of Robyn’s at the very lightest, and she should totally lose that frosty lion shade she likes so much yesterday.

    Wow that was a lot of typing. So now I’ve probably offended everybody equally I guess it’s a good time to stop.

  16. 16
    Kimmi Paul
    Posted November 13, 2011 at 7:18 am

    The main reason for the split between the FLDS and the LDS and the end of polygamy is that the US government would not allow Utah to become a state as long as they practiced polygamy. So the elders had a “vision” that polygamy was now bad. Utah applied to become a state again and the US said fine but you have to put in the state constitution that polygamy is outlawed. They did. So they basically sold out their beliefs for statehood.

    Side note…I too dyed my hair jet black at 18. I looked like I had died…not a good look at all…

  17. 17
    SuburBint
    Posted November 13, 2011 at 7:11 pm

    @Lizbot – neither the Bible nor the Book of Mormon command polygamy. It was some special revelation Joseph Smith conveniently had when his wife caught him banging the household staff. It was later included in the book of Doctrine and Covenants as part of Mormon doctrine but, as Kimmi Paul said, the LDS church miraculously received a revelation that polygamy should no longer be practiced when it became the defining factor in Utah being made a state. Also, although the Bible never outright condemns polygamy, pretty much all of the stories involving polygamous families are more cautionary tales than “and you should totally model your family after these guys” tales.

    I read (in either Under the Banner of Heaven or an autobiography by a woman who escaped from a Juniper Creek type environment) that at least into the 1950′s, LDS higher-ups would select young mainstream Mormon men to go and join FLDS communities so that they could ensure that the practice of polygamy was continued by more than just the child rapist Warren Jeffs types.

    And my two cents in the great dyed-black-hair discussion: My 13-year-old daughter dyes her hair inky black, and she looks awesome. Like Snow White, but not lame (she told me to add the not lame part). I would like to see Madison’s hair curly in its new color.

  18. 18
    Lizbot
    Posted November 13, 2011 at 10:14 pm

    @SuburBint @kthxbai @Kimmi Paul: Thanks, that helps clear things up. It makes sense that it wasn’t actually included in the Book of Mormon, given that the non-fundamentalist LDS don’t follow it anymore. I hope Nicole and Andy come to their senses and realize that if it’s not for them, then it’s just not for them!

    @fact: I know polygamy was practiced and condoned in the old testament, but my question was where does the FLDS get the idea that it was commanded. Thanks though.

  19. 19
    Lizbot
    Posted November 13, 2011 at 10:23 pm

    Oh, and kthxbai, I totally agree with you about Beyonce!

  20. 20
    kthxbai
    Posted November 14, 2011 at 9:48 am

    @Lizbot Thanks for that. It’s good to know there are others and I’m not alone.

    @SuburBint All I’m going to say right now is that I can’t wait for @LadyBaldy’s next recap and if you watch last night’s episode you’ll be reminded of that saying about being careful about what you wish for…

  21. 21
    SuburBint
    Posted November 14, 2011 at 9:34 pm

    @kthxbai I don’t have cable right now cos we’re moving! So I have to get my Sister Wives fix from recaps. Did Madison have bad hair? I hope there’s a screen cap! I have to admit that I liked her black curls because that’s what my daughter’s hair looks like when she leaves it alone, even though black wasn’t the best color for Madison.

  22. 22
    Jazzy
    Posted November 15, 2011 at 7:43 am

    @SurburBint – do you mean the LDS church would send out young men to see if polygamy was happening b/c they wanted it to be happening or b/c they didn’t? I think the Mormon church is really interesting which is why I get sucked into shows like this and Big Love!
    If anyone is interested, the book Leaving The Saints is great.

  23. 23
    themiki
    Posted November 15, 2011 at 8:25 am

    I’m so late to this discussion, but I can answer most of this stuff that’s causing confusion. The actual Book of Mormon contains very little along the way of commandments. It’s a story of some ancient tribes that fought in America and how Jesus actually came to the United States for a brief period of time. The actual “How to live your life” stuff is all from Doctrines and Covenants, which are a collection of revelations recorded back when Mormon prophets actually had prophecies. Most were written by Joseph Smith, but a few were added or amended. The “New and Everlasting Covenant of Marriage” does refer to plural marriage, and it states in D&C that no man shall enter the Celestial Kingdom without taking part in it. Modern LDS followers now say that the book is only referring to Temple Marriage, which is performed only for and by Mormons, and that it has nothing to do with plural marriage. That’s one of those things the modern church likes to sweep under the rug and hope no one looks into too deep cause the truth of it is all right in the church’s own history.

    The splits in the church (there are many) are all regarding the line of prophets. The LDS church always has a living prophet, who is their leader/president and whose word is as good as god’s. When one prophet dies the “Keys to the priesthood” must be metaphorically passed on to a new prophet. Because Joseph Smith died young and somewhat unexpectedly they were unable to pass down the keys to his oldest son, which was always his intention. There was a debate and an election, and the church officially annointed Brigham Young as his predecessor. Emma, Joseph’s wife, did not believe Young should be the new prophet, and thus started the first split which formed the RLDS (reformed latter day saints) and which is currently the church with the lax rules and that welcomes the gays. Young, being an angry violent racist asshole, had the revelation that blacks could not hold the priesthood because they were lazy in the pre-existence (the dark skin as a mark of lesser valiance is actually in the Book of Mormon, but Joseph Smith ordained a black priest and had no problem with it). Young’s reign as prophet involved a lot of bloodshed and he put a heavy emphasis on blood atonement for sins. Certain sins were only forgiven if your blood was spilled to atone for them. This is the reason that Utah still allows death by firing squad if the prisoner chooses it. Some old-school Mormons feel that they will only be forgiven if their blood spills, which doesn’t happen with lethal injection or the chair.

    After Young there was a prophet who swore that the church would never abandon polygamy, and if it did then it was sure sign that it had fallen into apostasy. It’s worth noting that Young also stated that if the church ever gave blacks the priesthood then it was a sure sign it had fallen into apostasy too, so yeah… There’s that. Once polygamy was repealed there was the big split between LDS and FLDS, and LDS is constantly saying that FLDS are NOT Mormons and have nothing whatsoever to do with their faith. This is blatantly unfair, because FLDS lives the way that Joseph Smith told everyone to. The splits amongst the RLDS and FLDS are all due to disagreements over who the next in line to be prophet was. All FLDS compounds are overseen by the “One true living prophet,” so that’s a clue as to how many of these one true living prophets are running around at any given time.

    Basically, RLDS is a kinder, gentler (but still a little wacky) branch of the Mormons. They own the land that is prophesied to be the true zion that all saints will return to before the second coming (Jackson county, Missouri). I believe they’ve always allowed blacks to hold the priesthood, but don’t quote me on that because I could be wrong. RLDS is the church that Joseph’s wife chose to follow after his death.

    LDS is the mainstream Mormons. They are the most organized and the wealthiest, but FLDS thinks they’re blasphemers and charlatans because their version of the Book of Mormon has been sanitized and white-washed to allow for mainstream acceptance.

    FLDS are still practicing old-school Mormonism. Pretty heavily stuck in the Brigham Young way of thinking they embrace polygamy and refuse to give blacks the right to the priesthood. Each compound is a different “split” because each follows a different prophet. All agree that the LDS church fell away from the light and entered apostasy when they repealed polygamy.

    Okay, good? Got it? Questions?

  24. 24
    SuburBint
    Posted November 15, 2011 at 9:11 am

    @Jazzy, my understanding from the book I read is that they wanted those selected men to enter into plural marriage because as @themiki said, the book of Doctrine & Covenants states that a Mormon man can’t enter the Celestial Kingdom unless he has multiple wives. The hope was that if they kept feeding FLDS churches with mainstream LDSers, it would help them reintroduce polygamy into mainstream LDS life once social policy reached a point where they would no longer be persecuted for it. I’m fairly certain that either the Book of Mormon or D&C teaches that when a man enters the Celestial Kingdom, he will take additional wives as well as the wife that he was sealed to in the temple, and they will spend eternity popping out spirit babies. So the Celestial Kingdom is going to get pretty damn crowded.

    Regarding the spilling of blood that @themiki mentioned, certain fundamentalist sects of Mormons (Juniper Creek types, probably not the Brown’s church) still have hit squads who are responsible for “saving” those members of the church who have committed certain sins by killing them. Even in the mainstream LDS church, part of the temple ceremony in which you become a card-carrying Mormon (seriously: they give you a “Temple recommend” card that you need in order to gain access to certain ceremonies and to buy your magical mystical underwear) involves a promise to be gutted and have your throat slit if you commit certain “crimes” against the church.

  25. 25
    themiki
    Posted November 15, 2011 at 9:16 am

    @SuburBint – They redacted the death oath part of the temple ceremony back in 1990. Anyone who went through the temple for the first time after 1990 will tell you that’s a vicious anti-Mormon lie. Many who went through before 1990 will pretend it never happened because that’s what the church wants everyone to do. There absolutely WAS a death oath that involved pantomiming slitting your throat and disemboweling yourself if you ever spoke about what you were about to witness, but those were whitewashed out too. The church is trying like hell to appear normal, and has been for the past fifty years or so. Before that they were all sorts of proud to be a “Peculiar people” because that’s what God’s elect were.

  26. 26
    Nolongerbre
    Posted November 30, 2011 at 5:21 am

    Great recap as per usual! Your snark is right on point and that crack about Meri made me lol for real. It is very interesting that Jeffs only got 20 years. I am a law student and Texas has some of the most stringent criminal laws in the nation. I am so tempted to look into the actual judgment et al. 20 years seems crazy low, but then again, with all the money he has been stealing… er “tithing”…. from his people, he could prolly afford some pretty bad ass defense counsel.

  27. 27
    LadyStardust
    Posted December 4, 2011 at 2:10 am

    Re: Warren Jeffs’ prison sentence — I just watched the episode and it actually said he was sentenced to life PLUS 20 years.

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