Sister Wives Recap: Birthday Letdown

Sister Wives

By LadyBaldy | Wednesday, May 30, 2012 | 3:03 pm | 32 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Recaps, Sister Wives

Hola Gasmii! We’ve got TWO Sister Wives episodes to discuss this week, and we’ll get to the first one in a second, but first:

(1) Somebody rated this episode one star on Amazon.com…HAHAHAHAHAHA. I don’t know why that’s hilarious, it just is.

(2) One of the tabloid covers this week has the headline “SISTER WIVES SPLIT” (leaves or whatevs.) I got all excited / worried until I read the article and realized that they were referring to a time Janelle left many years ago. I HATE BAIT AND SWITCH! I don’t hate tell all books, and I’m interested in reading Janelle’s when it’s available.

Episode time!  This week on the Kody Show – I’m sorry, SISTER WIVES – Kody gets a birthday celebration, the wives buy him a pricey gift (a.k.a. Meri’s method of kill him with kindness instead of making him work on the relationship) and he’s less than impressed. Also, Christine clears the air with Robyn…FINALLY.

The kids have to get Kody something for his b-day, and the best big brother steps up to help. Poor Logan opts to take all billion kids shopping at a scrapbooking store. Janelle surmises that he’s doing it to soak up as much siblling time as possible before he leaves. He doesn’t want them to forget him when he’s gone.

“Say it with me now, your brother’s name is LOGAN! There’s going to be a test come Christmastime, so make sure you remember!”

He wonders how the dynamic will change when he leaves. I’m wonder what the hell they’re doing at the scrapbooking store as a gajillion kids plus scrapbooking sounds like most males’ idea of hell.

If this were me, college could NOT come fast enough

It turns out that each kid will make a special scrapbook page for Kody for his birthday. Here’s an idea – write “do you even know my name?” in glitter, or “Happy ¼ of a birthday for my ¼ of a Dad from 1/17th of his offspring” in fuzzy letters.

Christine, Janelle and Robyn show up at Meri’s for party planning. Not shocking: the wives spend more time on Kody’s bday than each others’ because four people planning a party for one person at the center of the family is different than one person planning and three other people half-assing the planning for a birthday party. We learn that each Sister wife gets her own b-day celebration with Kody and their kids…except for Meri last year but she’s going to Mexico this year so she doesn’t care. I’m so confused; love should be multiplied but the wives want a private celebration for their birthdays? I so don’t get this at all. I guess they want to feel special on their birthday.  Does Kody feel special on his birthday? Of course not! Kody basically says that his birthday is work for him since all wives want to celebrate with him and he has to spread the love.

“Celebrating my birthday is really hard” Really? Maybe the ladies should just skip it this year.

Janelle says she wants to get him a good gift because she hasn’t always been able to do so in the past. Meri suggests that they get him a computer since he keeps saying he wants one, and that sounds like a safe bet, Christine suggests a watch but Meri doesn’t feel comfortable picking something out for Sir Picky Pants. They all decide to go with Meri’s idea. Alpha Wife wins!

Christine is headed over to Robyn’s with Truly so they can get some QT with Solomon and Robyn. They’re going to weigh the babies since Solomon is huge and Truly is tiny (and bald) because Christine thinks it will be funny to compare her tiny child to Robyn’s baby Hulk. This day isn’t just about baby weight. Christine needs to talk to Robyn and get some things off of her chest. Robyn is nervous because she and Christine aren’t exactly close and she sees through the baby weight excuse. She knows a “crucial conversation” awaits her at lunch. P.S. I had to take a corporate training on Crucial Conversations and from what I learned, Robyn and Christine need to get in the “Pool of Shared Understanding.” P.P.S. I want a medal for not making fun of the “Pool of Shared Understanding” during training.

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LadyBaldy
About

LadyBaldy was raised by TV and thus has a completely warped version of what life is supposed to be like. She cannot have a conversation about anything without comparing situations and people to her favorite shows and movies. During the day, she works in clinical research and at night, she watches TV and discusses it with her cats.

32 Comments

  1. 1
    bautin
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 3:48 pm

    Oh no, in Utah, Mormon men (even the fundamentalists) LOVE scrap booking. It’s like our national past time, baseball be damned.

  2. 2
    Closet fan
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 4:27 pm

    I was out Sunday night so I am really looking forward to the recap! Was Janelle’s leaving ever discussed on any of the shows?

  3. 3
    Courtney
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 4:28 pm

    Bahahahahaha BroDad Hagar years….classic!

  4. 4
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 4:28 pm

    I was actually hoping somebody’d come on here and explain scrapbooking to me. It’s like there’s something everybody else in the world knows but I’m just too butt ignorant.

    1 thing this show’s 100% telling the truth about is that they’ve got whole stores for it now. Not to mention clubs and web sites and I don’t know what all. But how come?

    How is it different from writing captions and putting decorations in a photo album? Which everybody in the world’s been doing since back when cameras were discovered.

    Anyway I’m glad Meri helped Christine learn to cope by remembering Creamsicle’s just another little kid. Although it’s kind of odd it took her 16 yrs to notice that when TV viewers could tell by the 1st commercial of episode 1.

    I know she was blinded by her romance ideas. Just that he seems like about the last place anybody’d point those at. Then or now.

  5. 5
    Kate Woehrle
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 4:37 pm

    Oh man, you crack me the hell up!!! “Dad, do you even know my name?” in glitter. LMFAO!!!
    I thought the same thing when Robyn confessed knowing all along Kody wouldn’t want the computer. I think she didn’t want it to seem like she knew him better than the other wives, since she’s clearly his fave in private and she knows exactly what he wants.
    Kody wanted a fun present but no one could figure out how to wrap a BJ ?!?!?!? This comment went swimmingly with the pic above it.
    I’m tempted to watch ALL the shows you do recaps for just so I can laugh along with you!!! Thank you for another hilarious take!

  6. 6
    Chicken Lips
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 5:22 pm

    I’m still reading on the first page, but I had to take that Crucial Conversations course at my work, too!

    Didn’t really help me – I still end all of my “crucial conversations” with a baseball bat to the other person’s head. Maybe I need more training.

    Reading on.

  7. 7
    Chicken Lips
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 5:41 pm

    This show is hilarious without even intending to be. That part where he opened the computer and hated it and then 4 was all “I knew he didn’t want that, it totally wasn’t me, man – I DID figure out how to wrap a BJ!”.

    This is why I don’t like 4. She is all “look at me, I’m so shiny and new and BroDad loves me the best!” I think she offered to be 1′s surrogate so that she could be pregnant again and get all of the attention back on herself. And then she drops little knowledge nuggets, but never anything important until it is too late OR she’ll tell the real truth in the interviews. 4 paints a picture that no one likes her, whah whah, poor me. Whatever, 4 – you lucked out because you may be married to 4 of the dumbest people ever.

    Actually, I think 2 gets it, but since she’s the one that was able to make it on her own for a couple of years when she left, she’s probably just staying around for the shiggles and doesn’t give a hoot what is going on with 1, 3, 4 and BroDad.

    Everything I need to know about polygamy I learned from Big Love, and I know that Barb would have never put up with this shit from Nikki and Margie. 1 needs to start throwing down the Alpha Wife hammer and getting some order up in here.

  8. 8
    Kimmi Paul
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 5:55 pm

    @Kate Woehrle

    I also thought the same thing about Robyn not speaking up, but my hubby has a completely different view why she zipped her lip. His thought was so she could get brownie points (no pun intended) with Kody by telling him “Oh, I knew you wouldn’t like it but what could I do? I was outvoted.” Actually if you think about, it’s kind of a scummy move. If she really wanted to be a team player, keep your yap shut! Robyn became a real brown noser (ok, pun intended lol) when she announced they all the other wives fucked up Kody’s special day. My hubby believes Robyn is very calculated and plays her part well to get Kody to baby her the way he does.

    On another note…I am also of the do you want to be right or do you want to be happy club. You can be right but probably be right all by yourself. As long as I know I’m right I really don’t need to convince anyone else of my rightness. Let them be happy in their ignorance. And that is how I prevent ulcers :)

  9. 9
    annie Annie
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 6:29 pm

    BroDad was not very excited about his BroBook…what does he do for a living?

    And yeah, sneaky-ass move on Robyn’s part to say (in front of the other Wives): ” Yeah I knew you weren’t going to want that”

  10. 10
    Closet fan
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 7:13 pm

    What is the deal with the commercial for Sundays show? Was Meri recently pregnant or are they discussing the previous miscarriage?

  11. 11
    leslilly
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 9:02 pm

    Hey y’all – haven’t read the recap or the comments yet, but I had to share this breaking news: I picked up on a Robyn comment that I think was a jab toward the other wives. When the 5 of them were discussing Kody’s disappointment w/his new computer, all the wives were commenting, one-by-one, that they thought Kody loved the expensive gifts, he had been talking about wanting the computer, blah blah blah…when Robyn chimes in with something to the effect that SHE didn’t think Kody would be too excited about the computer gift. Uhh….did she speak up re: this to her sister wives before they bought it?

    I’m usually a total Robyn fan, but I have picked up on a couple comments like this – a passive-aggressive way of saying that she knows Kody better than the other 3 wives do. Interesting…makes me see the other’s perspectives a little better.

    Did anyone else pick up on this or am I reading into the comment too much?

  12. 12
    no cars go
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 9:02 pm

    “shit like this is why no one likes you” made me laugh hard. robyn and kody make the perfect douche couple. the other wives will never be able to compete with that.

  13. 13
    leslilly
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 9:04 pm

    AHA!! I just skimmed everyone’s comments and you all noticed it too! yay! Now I have to read the recap and the comments. Man, it is SO much more fun to watch drama unfold in other people’s lives while I sit here and ignore the drama unfolding in my own life. ;-)

  14. 14
    leslilly
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 9:13 pm

    LadyBaldy – great recap! Insightful AND hilarious.

    Kody is such an enema-hose. I typically watch the show w/minimal judgment, but that pic of him in between his four wives makes me sick to my stomach.

    And I want to cut his hair off. It’s hideous.

  15. 15
    ash1
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 9:17 pm

    I don’t think Janelle gives a shit what happens with bro-dad or the others. She’s in this as long as it benefits her and her kids, and when it doesn’t anymore, she’ll be out like a ….well like a second wife….and I DIG THAT about her!!!! My guess is she’s planning her own future and socking away finances for the day her last kid goes to college, and then she’ll get herself a cozy cottageon the east coast and live happily ever after as a single woman, maybe hook back up with the crew for Christmas.

    Meri is the professional martyr (she RECRUITED Robyn for christ’s sake!), so she HAS to stay, Robyn will stay because she’lll always be the honeymoon wife, Christine is a wild card, could go either way.

  16. 16
    leslilly
    Posted May 30, 2012 at 11:04 pm

    Interestingly enough, the Christine-Robyn talk kind of helped me see something different in my life. I have tons of problems w/my sister-in-law. She glares @ me, rolls her eyes, makes snide comments…you get the picture. This is completely unprovoked. My husband & I have tried everything and concluded that she’s just a bitter, angry person. I also realized that no matter who married her brother, she would have hated them as well & they would get this treatment. No matter who Kody’s 4th wife was, Christine would have those same feelings. I get it in that respect about it not being personal. It just feels personal BIG TIME!

  17. 17
    StageMom
    Posted May 31, 2012 at 12:31 am

    Does anyone know what kind of “marketing” this family does for a living? My google stalking is failing me.

  18. 18
    amandalee27
    Posted May 31, 2012 at 3:06 am

    leslilly–are you Melissa Gorga??

    I like how Janelle is letting airhead Christine pretend she is actually going to pass the real estate exam. It’s sweet.

    Robyn is a bitch. Meri should have punched her right there. They should have returned Kody’s computer. I need a computer for school/work too and if I got a $1500 one, I’d be pumped. What a douche.

  19. 19
    NotWithoutMyTV notwithoutmytv
    Posted May 31, 2012 at 8:31 am

    @Chicken Lips: Everything I know about polygamy I learned from Big Love, too. (And, I’m sure that info source is just as impeccable as Wikipedia.) But I have to disagree: Barb put up with an insufferable amout of shenanigans from Margene, but especially Nicki. Like, so much shenanigans that it got ridiculous that Barb didn’t sprinkle rat poison in Nicki’s raisin carrot salad…

    Does anybody else think that Robyn carrying Meri’s baby is just about the best recipe for disaster they’ve ever heard? In an “ideal” polygamous marriage, where everybody truly WAS married to each other and all the families WERE melded together, that plan would work fine. But this ain’t one of those ideal polygamous marriages. Because there AREN’T any ideal polygamous marriages. A whole psychology career could be made by studying the raft of issues that would develop between BroDad, Meri, and Robyn if Project Procreation was… ahem, conceived.

  20. 20
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted May 31, 2012 at 8:41 am

    NWMTV– ya nailed that no such thing as an ideal polygamous marriage. Just go to Amazon. I’ve read an embarrassing number of those books and they are all tragic.

    Swing by Murphey Village and then head toward the north rim of the Grand Canyon. (or the reverse, depending on where you live) We took a wrong turn on a vacation and wound up in a FLDS town. Rod Serling stepped into the road and told us to turn around and go the other way. It really was the Twilight zone.

  21. 21
    taffup
    Posted May 31, 2012 at 9:29 am

    He is such a douche. At least fake happiness over a MacBook for goodness sake. And for that matter who WOULDN’T be excited about a MacBook. I really doubt he does much working, he is just a douche. If they gave him a Rolex he would probably be down on that too b/c it would represent the time he was forced to split up and how he knew the other wives were upset when he was with another wife.

  22. 22
    Dear Crabby
    Posted May 31, 2012 at 10:52 am

    “Happy ¼ of a birthday for my ¼ of a Dad from 1/17th of his offspring” in fuzzy letters.”

    “Whatev, I bet the recycling bin was full that night. ”

    HAHAHA! Great lines – totally cracked me up. This family is nuts and it’s so funny how much stuff they put up with from Kody.

    Also, HOW are they making money (I’ll assume the show, but why get upset at the computer when he’d clearly only be using it for porn/finding another wife)?

  23. 23
    CynTV CynTV
    Posted May 31, 2012 at 3:12 pm

    Ms Lady Baldy – LOVED your remarks re: the kids. They all should wear t-shirts that say “Hey! Do you remember me?” I cannot watch more that a few minutes of this show at a time, because I find Kody so physically repulsive. And I believe he subconsciously has a weight requirement for a new wife; by that I mean that once his newest wife gains a certain amount of weight, he looks for a new, skinnier one.

    And the wives have no right to be jealous of other wives. They knew what they were getting into. I, personally, would be relieved that multiple spouses would mean I could permanently have a headache so creepy hubby would stay away from the bed chamber, if ya know what I mean!

  24. 24
    leslilly
    Posted May 31, 2012 at 6:08 pm

    amandalee27 LOL!!! I had to google her to see what you were referring to. That is similar, for sure.

  25. 25
    leslilly
    Posted May 31, 2012 at 6:33 pm

    snowshoecat, I’ve read too many of the polyg books as well. So many that it probably looks like I’m considering the lifestyle. And I’m not.

  26. 26
    Chicken Lips
    Posted May 31, 2012 at 9:17 pm

    @notwithoutmytv I’m sorry – I should have told you my theory. I think that instead of shaming everybody with a divorce, Barb paid the neighbor to off Bill. The ultimate hammer being thrown after putting up with his and 2′s and 3′s BS all those years.

    You didn’t actually think he got popped over replacing some sod, did you? Even the craziest person in the world wouldn’t kill someone over free sod.

  27. 27
    Pageant-grandma
    Posted May 31, 2012 at 9:21 pm

    Really, though, Does meri really want another kid? Really? Now? Her own own spawn is nearly grown. And she seems reasonably normal and cool. Does she really want to roll the dice again? Really?

  28. 28
    LadyBaldy LadyBaldy
    Posted May 31, 2012 at 9:31 pm

    @Pageant-grandma – if that’s not the name of your band, it should be. If you are not in a band, you need to start one immediately and call yourselves “Pageant-grandma”

  29. 29
    Pageant-grandma
    Posted May 31, 2012 at 10:00 pm

    No band here. I was on orchestra (I played the cello) in the 4th grade. Then they figured out I am dyslexic. I can read music, but it’s never the same song twice.

  30. 30
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted May 31, 2012 at 10:56 pm

    I don’t know if there’s a such thing as ideal any kind of marriage. But I bet all of us that have a happy 1 think ours is! The problem is we don’t go writing books about it.

    Because no publisher’s going to give me any $ to write My Monogamous Love Marriage To Mr Thxbai Keeps Causing Me To Have Personal Happiness Dammit!

  31. 31
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 4:05 am

    Kthxy, love your title! Not long ago Hubbycat and I had a huge fight. It was terrible. We went at each other for about half a minute and then let it go and went back to normal.

    Then I started to laugh, thinking if the cameras could endure watching us interact as mature, loving adults as we usually do, they’d stick around long enough to cobble together the inevitable disagreements and show us as a nasty couple seething with barely hidden rage.

    Normal adults make for terrible reality tv.

  32. 32
    Pageant-grandma
    Posted June 5, 2012 at 2:52 pm

    I often joke that my family needs our own tlc show– we are a blended family, with a special needs child, lots of pets, off-the-wall jobs, our granddaughter does pageants, and my significant other qualifies medically as a “little person” (under 4’10″.). But honestly, we are extremely normal, very uninteresting people, who lead very “boring” (by tv standards) lives.

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