Sister Wives Recap: Date Night

Sister Wives

By LadyBaldy | Wednesday, May 23, 2012 | 3:00 pm | 23 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Recaps, Sister Wives

Kody says that since they moved to four homes, there are times when he will realize that he hasn’t seen a wife at ALL in a four day period, and that it’s almost like he has four monogamous relationships that happen to be a family. Does that make them polymonogamists?Also, isn’t that exactly what he has all the time? In fact, he said something to that effect last season; he was talking about the sexual aspect of their marriage, so I’ll let this inconsistency slide…FOR NOW.

“It’s like four marriages that are one marriage” Right. Call me when you start making sense.

So what made Meri want to ski 22 years ago? Apparently Kody suggested it and she thought it sounded fun. Oh, I see, this isn’t so much about the “skiing” as the “with Kody” part. Got it. BARF.

Let’s take a stroll down memory lane, shall we? Kody and Meri tell us that they didn’t start out romantically. They were friends first. I hope they were more than friends when this picture was taken, because if they were just friends, the heinous factor increases exponentially:

Wearing matching outfits as a couple is acceptable in three situations: Halloween, ironic hipster parties, or NEVER.

Anyhoo, they were friends and married when they were 19 (Meri) and 22 (Kody). Kody knew that a relationship based on character was important because they were so young. Really? 22 year old Kody was thinking about their character? When I was 22, I was totally unconcerned with my boyfriend’s character and super-duper concerned about the fact that he was both hot and hilarious. Then again, I’ve got zero spouses and Kody has three. Make of that what you will.

P.S. Matching haircuts? Not an improvement.

Many of you have remarked that Kody acts like a teenager, and it has never been more apparent to me than in this moment on the mountain when Kody takes off and leaves Meri trailing behind, carrying her skiis. That is a total 14 year old boy on a date move. At least walk with your wife, and also, carry her skis for her you jag!

Ladies and gentleman, Goofus Sr.! I bet he’d carry Robyn’s skis. LOW BLOW, BALDY!

Kody and and Meri are engaging in one of Baldy’s Major Couple No-No’s: letting your significant other / partner / spouse teach you how to do something.

For most couples, this  would end in tears, divorce, or both.

Despite 22 years of yearning, Meri is not a natural on the slopes. Ski patrol rolls up after one of her spills and shows her how she can stop. Kody keeps trying to teach her but admits that he’s a lousy teacher. Meri finally starts to get it and she’s cruising down the mountain but she still only knows one way to stop:

The “hurl yourself on the ground” method 

Meri hurt her knee in her fall, and Kody lets us know that he knew this meant that they were done skiing even though the lifts were running another hour. I have to agree with Kody; SAFETY FIRST! 

The Ski Patrol hero shows up to evaluate Meri’s situation and his advice is to get some ice on her knee and go to the ER to get it checked out. He also says that if it was HIS wife, he would take her to the ER. Mr. Ski Patrol probably only has one wife though, so what does he know?

Commercial break and we’re back and still talking about the ski date. I’m pretty bored and I want to get to the drama in the teaser already. I don’t have to wait long!

We learn that Kody and Meri’s first kiss wasn’t that great and his proposal was pretty lame.  Apparently it was only slightly more romantic than a note asking “Do you want to marry me? Check yes or no”

“Should we like, get married or whatever?” Before he channeled Sammy Hager, Kody was Utah’s Zach Morris; a Zack Morris that got to date Kelly, Jesse AND Lisa all at once.

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LadyBaldy
About

LadyBaldy was raised by TV and thus has a completely warped version of what life is supposed to be like. She cannot have a conversation about anything without comparing situations and people to her favorite shows and movies. During the day, she works in clinical research and at night, she watches TV and discusses it with her cats.

23 Comments

  1. 1
    bautin
    Posted May 23, 2012 at 4:37 pm

    Yeah, that whole wedding reception in a gymnasium thing is totally standard in Utah, due to the fact that, you know, everybody is married within 4 years of graduating high school and can’t afford real venues. Most ward gym’s see more receptions than any actual sport.

  2. 2
    onie nicoll
    Posted May 23, 2012 at 4:39 pm

    loved your recap, i feel the same way, i think chrisine has been a bit naive, but it really seems that she is doubting her “marriage” to mr ego

  3. 3
    AmyOops
    Posted May 23, 2012 at 6:28 pm

    Wheee! A “Saved by the Bell” reference! Dead on, too. Back to reading :-)

  4. 4
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted May 23, 2012 at 6:51 pm

    I keep saying polygamy and modern ways love marriage don’t mix. I’m going to try to explain why so get ready to scroll.

    Some ways mix and some don’t. Take shoes in the house. If that’s a way you want to keep, fine. And fine if you don’t.

    But try to mix it, with some people leaving their shoes on and some taking them off, everybody gets the same outside dirt on their feet. And your rug.

    That’s why Meri’s advice was good and it also sucked. I’ll totally cosign the part about you can only change you.

    But a lot of it was more like something you’d say to a single mom trying to decide if some guy she was dating was boyfriend or dumpster material.

    They’d all be living as single moms most of the time no matter who their husband was. But you’re right about Bozo being stuck at 14. Christine can’t change that. She can put up, or she can bounce.

    I’m sticking by my theory that Christine’s the only 1 that had those romantic love marriage expectations to begin with.

    A modern ways love marriage is about personal feelings 1 particular person and you have for each other.

    Old ways marriage, polygamy or not, is about stuff you expect, like your roles in your families or tribe or whatever.

    Which is NOT the same as falling in romantic love with somebody that’s got the same goals and ideas you do. Because the number 1 thing is still that specific person and you guy’s personal feelings. Everything else is icing on the cake.

    With old ways marriage, personal feelings come after the wedding. Usually it’s more like affection and appreciating them as they get to know them as a person. That affection’s the icing on the cake. Falling in romantic love would be like winning power ball.

    It’s not that it never happens. But it’s not why they get married.

    My guess is when Bozo and the swives (except for Christine) talk about how much more “in love” they are now than their wedding day they mean that old ways kind of affection.

    But Christine wanted to be the 3rd wife of a guy that was in romantic love with all 3. I think now she’s starting to figure out 1) that’s not possible and 2) Bozo’s not into her like that.

    Their ways are to put their religion 1st. Which means sucking it up and putting up with Bozo.

    Bozo’s already done all he can to help Christine get those expectations down. She’ll have to do the rest for herself.

  5. 5
    Kimmi Paul
    Posted May 23, 2012 at 7:23 pm

    I have to agree. I think Christine has unreal expectations that has been fostered by her being the “baby” wife for 16 years. My thing is Meri’s advice was actually good. Any marriage counselor would tell you basically the same thing, change your attitude first, see what changes then go from there. Basically what Meri was telling Christine was if you always do what you always done, you will get what you always got. Christine is a bit like me where her emotion shows all over her face and she can’t hide it. So I am sure once Kody walks in the door her whole demeanor screams “Oh great, the ass is here….again.” And (I can’t believe I’m saying this) in his defense, who wants to walk into that? Maybe if she relaxes a little and calms down he will want to be there. Because lets be real, the problem with her and Kody only started when Robyn came into the picture. And the bigger bitch she becomes, the more in Kody’s eyes, Robyn is sweetest, bestest wife ever, and the angrier Christine gets. It’s a vicious circle.

    My hubby asked me what if we took another wife (we’ve been married for 17 years), I said GOOD, now she can deal with you. :)

  6. 6
    lovesthehobbitses
    Posted May 23, 2012 at 7:43 pm

    Can we PLEASE discuss Kody’s song to Meri at their wedding?? The falsetto? The length and repetition? Good lord.

  7. 7
    Closet Fan
    Posted May 23, 2012 at 10:17 pm

    Robyn has become the Marcia Brady of the group. As Meri and Cody were sitting in the ski lodge, Meri said (in her best Jan voice) … Robyn, Robyn, Robyn!

  8. 8
    Closet Fan
    Posted May 23, 2012 at 10:31 pm

    I am watching the show again now and wrote my comment before I started reading. So LadyBaldy I agree, lol :)

  9. 9
    notwithoutmytv
    Posted May 24, 2012 at 2:40 am

    Let’s get real: Kody Hagar is boning one wife. And that wife is not Meri, Christine, or Janelle.

  10. 10
    Wasabipeas wasabipeas
    Posted May 24, 2012 at 5:20 am

    OK @lovesthehobbitses! Here goes:
    Why did Kody sing a song about death at his wedding? Odd choice.
    Why did he sing harmony instead of melody when it was a solo?
    How come he didn’t have the words in front of him if he didn’t know them?

    AY, YI, YI!

  11. 11
    no cars go
    Posted May 24, 2012 at 5:44 am

    and i would give everything i own
    give up my life, my heart, my home
    i would give everything i own
    just to punch you kody brown

  12. 12
    Pat Ledoux
    Posted May 24, 2012 at 6:25 am

    Like the wives, especially Meri, but I can’t see the attraction for this clown. Kody is such a douche bag. Nuff said.

  13. 13
    sheesh sheesh
    Posted May 24, 2012 at 7:02 am

    @no cars go…No you didn’t! That was great.

    Baldy…you’re recaps are so well done! I kept nodding my head while reading the whole thing.

  14. 14
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted May 24, 2012 at 8:07 am

    LadyB, while I love, love, love your recaps, could you please stop it with all those close pix of KoDouche? My plants are beginning to wither. Thank you.

    Either that guy buys Viagra by the case, or he has some ‘splainin’ to do to at least some of the wives.

  15. 15
    NotWithoutMyTV notwithoutmytv
    Posted May 24, 2012 at 10:23 am

    Meri’s night: “Anal? Nah. I already did that with Robyn this week.”

    Janelle’s night: “Oral? Not feeling it. Robyn took care of that earlier this week.”

    Christine’s night: “Know what? I think I just sleep on the couch.”

  16. 16
    Kimmi Paul
    Posted May 24, 2012 at 7:00 pm

    Ok if we needed any more reason to think Kody is a D-Bag…

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/24/sister-wives-kody-brown-none-of-wives-can-satisfy-all-needs_n_1542439.html?ref=tv&ir=TV

    Such a man-child…

  17. 17
    Closet Fan
    Posted May 25, 2012 at 5:53 am

    Thank you for the link Kimmi. Ugh… who chose the UPS Brown color dresses for the wedding. “Brown”? Ugh again. Did I just answer my own question, lol.

  18. 18
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted May 25, 2012 at 6:55 am

    Kimmie’s, that was certainly an interesting article. Glad you sent it alone. What does the “lightness of being together” with Christine? Is that “lite” as in Lite Beer, meaning not much of it?

    Eeeewwwwwww. Every time I see him I hug HubbyCat. All of a sudden he has been wondering what’s up with that.

  19. 19
    leslilly
    Posted May 26, 2012 at 5:57 am

    Thanks for the shout-out, LadyBaldy! What a surprise! Now, back to your awesome recap…

  20. 20
    imani
    Posted May 28, 2012 at 8:24 am

    I don’t think Robyn ever wanted to share Kody with anyone. Her past marriage was monogamous. I thing Janelle is pretty much detached from all of them, and has shown that she can leave and make it on her own because in their book she talks about having left the family for two years. And when they moved to Utah i think she stayed behind with her five kids at that time. She initially lived with her mom and her mom’s sister wife who happens to be Kody’s mom. Kody’s dad is married to Kody’s mom and married Janelle’s mom after Kody got married to Janelle. After staying with her mom and in-laws for about six months, she and her five kids at that time, moved to their own home and she was able to survive quite well for two years, and then this lucrative contract with TLC came through and all the wives were on board for it. At one point all three wives had filed for bankruptcy. Meri has never connected with the other two wives and one of the reason’s Janelle left was because of a big blow up with Meri. Janelle at one time was married to Meri’s brother, but had no children by him. And Meri had problems with what had gone on between her brother and former sister-in-law. And Meri and Kody met Christine at some sort of youth camp where they were the camp leaders. And at some point decided to bring Christine in as the third sister wife. And so it remained… until 16 years later when Meri, her daughter and Kody met Robyn at a dance and Meri encouraged Kody to bring Robyn in as the fourth wife. Kody said he initially balked at the idea because Robyn had three kids from a previous marriage but eventually capitulated. And i think Meri did this to get back at Cristine and it has worked, maybe better than she thought. It is quite obvious that Meri does not like Christine and bringing in a younger fourth wife was more an act of vengence than anything else. In the end i think all the relationships Kody has with his four wives will implode and he will be left standing alone.

  21. 21
    Rebecca
    Posted May 28, 2012 at 12:04 pm

    Thank you so much for the hilarious and dead-on recap! You have made my day!

  22. 22
    annie Annie
    Posted May 29, 2012 at 2:50 pm

    When Kody said that line about “I spend more time with each individual wife than I do with the family as a whole” I was like…..whu whu whut? Im confused….is this about being a family, or having 4 relationships with 4 women? Maybe the words just came out wrong, I dunno.
    It’s going to be very interesting when they build the houses on the “Brown Cult-a-Sac” because then Kody will be closer to all women. He can’t have the excuse of “they live so far away I can only see each one every 4 days” But again, I have to ask….if it’s about being 1 family, why not all live under 1 roof? Isnt that what they did in Utah? Ehhhhh Im confused.

    I think Christine is just old-fashioned jealous, which is totally normal. She’s no longer the new wife…she feels replaced.
    There’s no freakin way I could share my man….even IF he drove a Lexus convertible (and randomly for 1 day a Nissan Convertible)

    P.S. Logan? Cuuuuuuute!

  23. 23
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted May 29, 2012 at 3:41 pm

    Many books on the market discuss the problematic issues involved in polygamy. They are absolutely heartbreaking.

    “Predators, Prey, and other Kinfolk: Growing up in Polygamy” is the best. Others include “Stolen Innocence”
    Oh, so many.

    The point is that polygamy is difficult for and unfair to women. Many of the households are separate, and in many, many cases the husband drives expensive cars (often purchased with money earned by the wives) while the wives virtually starve.

    Go to Amazon and enter “polygamy nonfiction” and you will be amazed.

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