Kody says that since they moved to four homes, there are times when he will realize that he hasn’t seen a wife at ALL in a four day period, and that it’s almost like he has four monogamous relationships that happen to be a family. Does that make them polymonogamists?Also, isn’t that exactly what he has all the time? In fact, he said something to that effect last season; he was talking about the sexual aspect of their marriage, so I’ll let this inconsistency slide…FOR NOW.
“It’s like four marriages that are one marriage” Right. Call me when you start making sense.
So what made Meri want to ski 22 years ago? Apparently Kody suggested it and she thought it sounded fun. Oh, I see, this isn’t so much about the “skiing” as the “with Kody” part. Got it. BARF.
Let’s take a stroll down memory lane, shall we? Kody and Meri tell us that they didn’t start out romantically. They were friends first. I hope they were more than friends when this picture was taken, because if they were just friends, the heinous factor increases exponentially:
Wearing matching outfits as a couple is acceptable in three situations: Halloween, ironic hipster parties, or NEVER.
Anyhoo, they were friends and married when they were 19 (Meri) and 22 (Kody). Kody knew that a relationship based on character was important because they were so young. Really? 22 year old Kody was thinking about their character? When I was 22, I was totally unconcerned with my boyfriend’s character and super-duper concerned about the fact that he was both hot and hilarious. Then again, I’ve got zero spouses and Kody has three. Make of that what you will.
P.S. Matching haircuts? Not an improvement.
Many of you have remarked that Kody acts like a teenager, and it has never been more apparent to me than in this moment on the mountain when Kody takes off and leaves Meri trailing behind, carrying her skiis. That is a total 14 year old boy on a date move. At least walk with your wife, and also, carry her skis for her you jag!
Ladies and gentleman, Goofus Sr.! I bet he’d carry Robyn’s skis. LOW BLOW, BALDY!
Kody and and Meri are engaging in one of Baldy’s Major Couple No-No’s: letting your significant other / partner / spouse teach you how to do something.
For most couples, this would end in tears, divorce, or both.
Despite 22 years of yearning, Meri is not a natural on the slopes. Ski patrol rolls up after one of her spills and shows her how she can stop. Kody keeps trying to teach her but admits that he’s a lousy teacher. Meri finally starts to get it and she’s cruising down the mountain but she still only knows one way to stop:
The “hurl yourself on the ground” method
Meri hurt her knee in her fall, and Kody lets us know that he knew this meant that they were done skiing even though the lifts were running another hour. I have to agree with Kody; SAFETY FIRST!
The Ski Patrol hero shows up to evaluate Meri’s situation and his advice is to get some ice on her knee and go to the ER to get it checked out. He also says that if it was HIS wife, he would take her to the ER. Mr. Ski Patrol probably only has one wife though, so what does he know?
Commercial break and we’re back and still talking about the ski date. I’m pretty bored and I want to get to the drama in the teaser already. I don’t have to wait long!
We learn that Kody and Meri’s first kiss wasn’t that great and his proposal was pretty lame. Apparently it was only slightly more romantic than a note asking “Do you want to marry me? Check yes or no”
“Should we like, get married or whatever?” Before he channeled Sammy Hager, Kody was Utah’s Zach Morris; a Zack Morris that got to date Kelly, Jesse AND Lisa all at once.