Kody says Robyn is spoiled because he learned how to be romantic with his first three wives and Meri is all “Robyn, Robyn, Robyn” Don’t be a Jan, Meri! Kody calls her out and Meri does that thing where you pretend you’re kidding when you’re not. Meri, you don’t have to pretend you’re okay all the time. It’s not a sustainable solution to your past problems with Kody!!
They fondly recall their courtship and marriage – are we still talking about this?? I am totally zoned out from their words I can and only focus on the fact that their reception was in a gymnasium:
“After we cut the cake, everyone break into teams for a game of HORSE!”
Meri also explains that when to kiss varies in their faith, but everyone agrees that there’s no nookie before marriage. There’s not much after either once you get a ton of wives in the mix since the opportunity only arises every four nights.
We’re done with Meri and Kody (FINALLY) and it’s off to Janelle’s house! All of Janelle’s kids have to get up early for school and Garrison and Gabriel, the fighters from last week, are being little shits yet again. Janelle tells them that there is no need for them to communicate. Seriously? That’s the call? That is so foreign to me. I bet they’d be quiet if she made them eat the Christmas tree like I suggested. Cruel? Maybe. Effective? You betcha. It’s hard to fight with your brother when your mouth is full of splinters.
Speaking of Gabriel, this kid has done nothing of interest for the last three seasons, but this season he is the ANTICHRIST. He punched his brother last episode, and when Janelle asks him to nicely wake up his sister, he gets in her face and then gives her doll a swirly when she won’t get up. At least he’s consistent and follows through on his threats.
I strongly suggest shaving his head to see if he has any 666 shaped birthmarks behind the ear.
Dr. Kody explains Meri’s injury and how her fall has left her stuck in bed. Kody feels bad that he can’t stick around, but it’s Janelle’s turn to ride the husband train. This leads into Meri explaining that sometimes Kody mentions that he is going to do something special for one wife in front of the others and it leads the other wives feeling a little jealous. This has led Meri to feel GUILTY and NERVOUS whenever Kody does something nice for her in front of them and she has to HIDE her joy. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? In the course of “multiplying the love” you’re having to suppress feelings of happiness and excitement? And this is a GOOD thing?
“It’s hard to suppress my joy when Kody does something special for me in front of the other wives. Luckily it doesn’t happen very often.”
Kody meets Janelle at her home and whines about how his back hurts from helping Meri. Yeah, well Meri’s knee hurts because someone didn’t hire a professional instructor to teach her to ski. For their date, Janelle and Kody are going hiking. Janelle has gotten into much better shape since she started working out with Bill the trainer. It’s great to hear that Janelle has stuck with the exercise. Fitness is empowering, which is why I don’t do it. I’m plenty empowered. Janelle is committed; she even keeps a fitness journal! This is what my fitness journal would say if I kept one: Dear Diary, today I did 30 squats without throwing up. I’m celebrating with a donut. Love, Baldy
More memory lane! While Kody yammers on about all the adjusting that went on when he married Janelle, we see this picture in the slideshow of Janelle and Kody photos:
Recognize the sweater? It’s a gift with purchase when you marry Kody.
Logan, the golden child, is what really brought the three wives together. As more kids were born, it held them together through the tough times at the start of their marriage. Janelle says she is more in love with Kody now than she has ever been, and he says he feels the same way. Janelle sees them getting more and more involved. That’s all well and good, but these two have almost ZERO chemistry. It totally feels like she’s his platonic BFF.