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Wednesday, May 23, 2012
3:00 pm
23 Comments
Tagged: christine, funny, humor, kody brown, LadyBaldy, las vegas, meri, polygamy, Polymonogamy, reality, recaps, Robin, sarcastic, sister wives, tvgasm
Kody says Robyn is spoiled because he learned how to be romantic with his first three wives and Meri is all “Robyn, Robyn, Robyn” Don’t be a Jan, Meri! Kody calls her out and Meri does that thing where you pretend you’re kidding when you’re not. Meri, you don’t have to pretend you’re okay all the time. It’s not a sustainable solution to your past problems with Kody!!
They fondly recall their courtship and marriage – are we still talking about this?? I am totally zoned out from their words I can and only focus on the fact that their reception was in a gymnasium:
“After we cut the cake, everyone break into teams for a game of HORSE!”
Meri also explains that when to kiss varies in their faith, but everyone agrees that there’s no nookie before marriage. There’s not much after either once you get a ton of wives in the mix since the opportunity only arises every four nights.
We’re done with Meri and Kody (FINALLY) and it’s off to Janelle’s house! All of Janelle’s kids have to get up early for school and Garrison and Gabriel, the fighters from last week, are being little shits yet again. Janelle tells them that there is no need for them to communicate. Seriously? That’s the call? That is so foreign to me. I bet they’d be quiet if she made them eat the Christmas tree like I suggested. Cruel? Maybe. Effective? You betcha. It’s hard to fight with your brother when your mouth is full of splinters.
Speaking of Gabriel, this kid has done nothing of interest for the last three seasons, but this season he is the ANTICHRIST. He punched his brother last episode, and when Janelle asks him to nicely wake up his sister, he gets in her face and then gives her doll a swirly when she won’t get up. At least he’s consistent and follows through on his threats.
I strongly suggest shaving his head to see if he has any 666 shaped birthmarks behind the ear.
Dr. Kody explains Meri’s injury and how her fall has left her stuck in bed. Kody feels bad that he can’t stick around, but it’s Janelle’s turn to ride the husband train. This leads into Meri explaining that sometimes Kody mentions that he is going to do something special for one wife in front of the others and it leads the other wives feeling a little jealous. This has led Meri to feel GUILTY and NERVOUS whenever Kody does something nice for her in front of them and she has to HIDE her joy. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? In the course of “multiplying the love” you’re having to suppress feelings of happiness and excitement? And this is a GOOD thing?
“It’s hard to suppress my joy when Kody does something special for me in front of the other wives. Luckily it doesn’t happen very often.”
Kody meets Janelle at her home and whines about how his back hurts from helping Meri. Yeah, well Meri’s knee hurts because someone didn’t hire a professional instructor to teach her to ski. For their date, Janelle and Kody are going hiking. Janelle has gotten into much better shape since she started working out with Bill the trainer. It’s great to hear that Janelle has stuck with the exercise. Fitness is empowering, which is why I don’t do it. I’m plenty empowered. Janelle is committed; she even keeps a fitness journal! This is what my fitness journal would say if I kept one: Dear Diary, today I did 30 squats without throwing up. I’m celebrating with a donut. Love, Baldy
More memory lane! While Kody yammers on about all the adjusting that went on when he married Janelle, we see this picture in the slideshow of Janelle and Kody photos:
Recognize the sweater? It’s a gift with purchase when you marry Kody.
Logan, the golden child, is what really brought the three wives together. As more kids were born, it held them together through the tough times at the start of their marriage. Janelle says she is more in love with Kody now than she has ever been, and he says he feels the same way. Janelle sees them getting more and more involved. That’s all well and good, but these two have almost ZERO chemistry. It totally feels like she’s his platonic BFF.
23 Comments
Yeah, that whole wedding reception in a gymnasium thing is totally standard in Utah, due to the fact that, you know, everybody is married within 4 years of graduating high school and can’t afford real venues. Most ward gym’s see more receptions than any actual sport.
loved your recap, i feel the same way, i think chrisine has been a bit naive, but it really seems that she is doubting her “marriage” to mr ego
Wheee! A “Saved by the Bell” reference! Dead on, too. Back to reading
I keep saying polygamy and modern ways love marriage don’t mix. I’m going to try to explain why so get ready to scroll.
Some ways mix and some don’t. Take shoes in the house. If that’s a way you want to keep, fine. And fine if you don’t.
But try to mix it, with some people leaving their shoes on and some taking them off, everybody gets the same outside dirt on their feet. And your rug.
That’s why Meri’s advice was good and it also sucked. I’ll totally cosign the part about you can only change you.
But a lot of it was more like something you’d say to a single mom trying to decide if some guy she was dating was boyfriend or dumpster material.
They’d all be living as single moms most of the time no matter who their husband was. But you’re right about Bozo being stuck at 14. Christine can’t change that. She can put up, or she can bounce.
I’m sticking by my theory that Christine’s the only 1 that had those romantic love marriage expectations to begin with.
A modern ways love marriage is about personal feelings 1 particular person and you have for each other.
Old ways marriage, polygamy or not, is about stuff you expect, like your roles in your families or tribe or whatever.
Which is NOT the same as falling in romantic love with somebody that’s got the same goals and ideas you do. Because the number 1 thing is still that specific person and you guy’s personal feelings. Everything else is icing on the cake.
With old ways marriage, personal feelings come after the wedding. Usually it’s more like affection and appreciating them as they get to know them as a person. That affection’s the icing on the cake. Falling in romantic love would be like winning power ball.
It’s not that it never happens. But it’s not why they get married.
My guess is when Bozo and the swives (except for Christine) talk about how much more “in love” they are now than their wedding day they mean that old ways kind of affection.
But Christine wanted to be the 3rd wife of a guy that was in romantic love with all 3. I think now she’s starting to figure out 1) that’s not possible and 2) Bozo’s not into her like that.
Their ways are to put their religion 1st. Which means sucking it up and putting up with Bozo.
Bozo’s already done all he can to help Christine get those expectations down. She’ll have to do the rest for herself.
I have to agree. I think Christine has unreal expectations that has been fostered by her being the “baby” wife for 16 years. My thing is Meri’s advice was actually good. Any marriage counselor would tell you basically the same thing, change your attitude first, see what changes then go from there. Basically what Meri was telling Christine was if you always do what you always done, you will get what you always got. Christine is a bit like me where her emotion shows all over her face and she can’t hide it. So I am sure once Kody walks in the door her whole demeanor screams “Oh great, the ass is here….again.” And (I can’t believe I’m saying this) in his defense, who wants to walk into that? Maybe if she relaxes a little and calms down he will want to be there. Because lets be real, the problem with her and Kody only started when Robyn came into the picture. And the bigger bitch she becomes, the more in Kody’s eyes, Robyn is sweetest, bestest wife ever, and the angrier Christine gets. It’s a vicious circle.
My hubby asked me what if we took another wife (we’ve been married for 17 years), I said GOOD, now she can deal with you.
Can we PLEASE discuss Kody’s song to Meri at their wedding?? The falsetto? The length and repetition? Good lord.
Robyn has become the Marcia Brady of the group. As Meri and Cody were sitting in the ski lodge, Meri said (in her best Jan voice) … Robyn, Robyn, Robyn!
I am watching the show again now and wrote my comment before I started reading. So LadyBaldy I agree, lol
Let’s get real: Kody Hagar is boning one wife. And that wife is not Meri, Christine, or Janelle.
OK @lovesthehobbitses! Here goes:
Why did Kody sing a song about death at his wedding? Odd choice.
Why did he sing harmony instead of melody when it was a solo?
How come he didn’t have the words in front of him if he didn’t know them?
AY, YI, YI!
and i would give everything i own
give up my life, my heart, my home
i would give everything i own
just to punch you kody brown
Like the wives, especially Meri, but I can’t see the attraction for this clown. Kody is such a douche bag. Nuff said.
@no cars go…No you didn’t! That was great.
Baldy…you’re recaps are so well done! I kept nodding my head while reading the whole thing.
LadyB, while I love, love, love your recaps, could you please stop it with all those close pix of KoDouche? My plants are beginning to wither. Thank you.
Either that guy buys Viagra by the case, or he has some ‘splainin’ to do to at least some of the wives.
Meri’s night: “Anal? Nah. I already did that with Robyn this week.”
Janelle’s night: “Oral? Not feeling it. Robyn took care of that earlier this week.”
Christine’s night: “Know what? I think I just sleep on the couch.”
Ok if we needed any more reason to think Kody is a D-Bag…
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/24/sister-wives-kody-brown-none-of-wives-can-satisfy-all-needs_n_1542439.html?ref=tv&ir=TV
Such a man-child…
Thank you for the link Kimmi. Ugh… who chose the UPS Brown color dresses for the wedding. “Brown”? Ugh again. Did I just answer my own question, lol.
Kimmie’s, that was certainly an interesting article. Glad you sent it alone. What does the “lightness of being together” with Christine? Is that “lite” as in Lite Beer, meaning not much of it?
Eeeewwwwwww. Every time I see him I hug HubbyCat. All of a sudden he has been wondering what’s up with that.
Thanks for the shout-out, LadyBaldy! What a surprise! Now, back to your awesome recap…
I don’t think Robyn ever wanted to share Kody with anyone. Her past marriage was monogamous. I thing Janelle is pretty much detached from all of them, and has shown that she can leave and make it on her own because in their book she talks about having left the family for two years. And when they moved to Utah i think she stayed behind with her five kids at that time. She initially lived with her mom and her mom’s sister wife who happens to be Kody’s mom. Kody’s dad is married to Kody’s mom and married Janelle’s mom after Kody got married to Janelle. After staying with her mom and in-laws for about six months, she and her five kids at that time, moved to their own home and she was able to survive quite well for two years, and then this lucrative contract with TLC came through and all the wives were on board for it. At one point all three wives had filed for bankruptcy. Meri has never connected with the other two wives and one of the reason’s Janelle left was because of a big blow up with Meri. Janelle at one time was married to Meri’s brother, but had no children by him. And Meri had problems with what had gone on between her brother and former sister-in-law. And Meri and Kody met Christine at some sort of youth camp where they were the camp leaders. And at some point decided to bring Christine in as the third sister wife. And so it remained… until 16 years later when Meri, her daughter and Kody met Robyn at a dance and Meri encouraged Kody to bring Robyn in as the fourth wife. Kody said he initially balked at the idea because Robyn had three kids from a previous marriage but eventually capitulated. And i think Meri did this to get back at Cristine and it has worked, maybe better than she thought. It is quite obvious that Meri does not like Christine and bringing in a younger fourth wife was more an act of vengence than anything else. In the end i think all the relationships Kody has with his four wives will implode and he will be left standing alone.
Thank you so much for the hilarious and dead-on recap! You have made my day!
When Kody said that line about “I spend more time with each individual wife than I do with the family as a whole” I was like…..whu whu whut? Im confused….is this about being a family, or having 4 relationships with 4 women? Maybe the words just came out wrong, I dunno.
It’s going to be very interesting when they build the houses on the “Brown Cult-a-Sac” because then Kody will be closer to all women. He can’t have the excuse of “they live so far away I can only see each one every 4 days” But again, I have to ask….if it’s about being 1 family, why not all live under 1 roof? Isnt that what they did in Utah? Ehhhhh Im confused.
I think Christine is just old-fashioned jealous, which is totally normal. She’s no longer the new wife…she feels replaced.
There’s no freakin way I could share my man….even IF he drove a Lexus convertible (and randomly for 1 day a Nissan Convertible)
P.S. Logan? Cuuuuuuute!
Many books on the market discuss the problematic issues involved in polygamy. They are absolutely heartbreaking.
“Predators, Prey, and other Kinfolk: Growing up in Polygamy” is the best. Others include “Stolen Innocence”
Oh, so many.
The point is that polygamy is difficult for and unfair to women. Many of the households are separate, and in many, many cases the husband drives expensive cars (often purchased with money earned by the wives) while the wives virtually starve.
Go to Amazon and enter “polygamy nonfiction” and you will be amazed.