They’re going paintballing! It was Christine’s idea because she wants to shoot Kody over and over again. Who doesn’t, amirite? Kody has a surprise for Christine after they take out their aggression with paint. Good for you guys! Burn calories AND blow off some steam.
After paintball, Kody and Christine get into a party bus and go for a helicopter ride over Vegas! Christine is thrilled since she’s wanted to do this FOREVER! Was it 22 years ago? If not, don’t show your joy in front of Meri.
Armed with a fresh outlook on their marriage, Christine lets herself enjoy the helicopter ride. Kody explains that his relationship with Christine is based on their shared love of enjoying life and having fun. That sounds built to last.
Christine explains that growing up, she always knew she wanted to be a third wife because being a first or second wife looked like too much work. Being the second wife is like being a wedge, but the third wife gets to enjoy the marriage after the first and second wife have worked out the kinks. As she is saying this, I’m marveling at how she has spent her life stuck on the idea of “third” instead of “last”. Did Christine think that all plural marriages are capped at three wives, or did she miss the lesson in school where it is explained that “third” and “last” are not the same thing?
“Who has FOUR wives? That’s just stupid. Do they give out Olympic medals for fourth place? The playground rhyme goes “first is the worst, second is the best, third is the one with the hairy chest” – fourth isn’t even MENTIONED. Oh and P.S., I do NOT have a hairy chest.”
When it was just Meri and Janelle, Christine came on board and helped balance things out. She made their lives a little bit lighter with her joy and tiebreakery. Subtext: Robyn came in and effed that up.
Christine is pleased with the date and calls a truce with Kody. She promises to be more grateful going forward thanks to Meri’s words of wisdom. Christine realizes that she has not been appreciating Kody and….and…and I can’t even keep typing along these lines because it’s killing me.
Back to Robyn! Robyn’s house is filled with a symphony of children’s coughs. Robyn is handling it as best she can even though she is tired. She spares us a sob story of how much harder it was to deal with sick kids before she married Kody and I count my blessings.
(cue the violins) “Before I married Kody, I had to sell my hair to buy medicine for my kids. No wait, that was Fantine in Les Mis. I relate to her a lot, except for the whoring.”
Kody and Robyn haven’t been on a date since Solomon was born! Since Solomon is not 22 years old yet, Robyn probably should not advertise this statement to Meri unless she prepared to look completely un-excited about her date.
It’s been a year and a half since Robyn signed on to Team Brown and she feels like she’s getting along with the other wives swimmingly. She and Christine have reached an understanding, which isn’t quite friendship or sisterhood, but it’s better than mutual resentment. Robyn wanted to be close to the wives really bad; she expressed this often in the previous seasons. Robyn is not willing to do ALL the work, however. The other wives need to want it too; they need to recognize that she really does love them, and be loving back. Well look who grew a spine! Robyn also mentions that sometimes one ends up with a sister wife who is not so nice, which sucks. While Robyn grew up around polygamy, this is her first time as a sister wife and one cannot help but wonder if she is thinking about someone in particular…
Kody shows up to Robyn’s for date night, and Robyn expresses how great Kody is for treating her children as if they were his own….on the one in four nights he’s there. Robyn LUUUUVS him for it, and Kody says that he’s got the ghost of his father in heaven nagging him to be a good dad to his step-kids. He’s in love with Robyn AND her kids. Also, I’m not sure if he’s talking about his own father or the heavenly father.