Swimsuit time! Kody wears boardshorts and a tight purple shirt, Meri has a swimsuit and shorts. Looking at Kody’s getup, I wondered if the modesty thing applied to males and females. Kody answered my question – he took off his shirt, so never mind. You know, if he would have left the khakis on for swimming, he could have destroyed the evidence of his sweaty butt / crotch problem
They rappel down into the cave; Meri took her time to savor the experience. It looks like a blast. Kody says there is a lot he loves about Meri, but he did not realize he loved her for her sense of adventure. That is a huge improvement over “I love your organization skills.”
“Hey Mer, can I get a do-over on the what I love about you question? I’ve got a good one this time!”
To get out of the cave, they have to climb a rickety rope ladder sideways. Why can’t they climb it normal style? Meri decided to do the ladder even though it was physically challenging to prove to herself that she could do it. It looks exhausting! Meri is a superstar and gets it done, which earns her shoulder pat from Colonel Kody Von Swampy Slacks and a bear hug from the hot lady tour guide.
At least hot tour guide gets how rad Meri is!
Hot tour guide says that Kody and Meri are the first polygamists she and her tour guide partner have met, and that they were very nice. The Browns really are excellent ambassadors for their lifestyle when you consider that the most notorious polygamists in our country are sick bastards (Warren Jeffs, I’m looking at you). Kody and Meri bid the tour guides a fond farewell and head back.
Back to Vegas! Janelle and Christine have finished their test so they roll to a Greek restaurant with Robyn. Janelle says that one of them passed and one of them failed, but they’re not going to say who until they call Kody and Meri. Drumroll…Janelle passed and Christine failed! Unfortunately the phone connection is not great. Kody cannot tell that it is Janelle speaking so he thinks it is Christine saying she passed. This means that poor Christine has to keep yelling “I failed” over and over hahahaha.
“I FAAAAAAAILED!” This would be more awesome if Kody was fucking with her so she would keep yelling “I FAILED!”
Robyn forcefully tries for the billionth time and finally gets through to Meri and Kody. Kody’s response to the news? “Congrats Janelle, Bummer Christine.” Wow. You should write greeting cards, brah!
Day Two in Mexico – Kody and Meri head to Xel-ha to swim with dolphins. As they head to the facility from the car, Kody reveals that Meri mentioned that hot lady tour guide was cute. Kody is immediately reminded of when Meri said the same thing to him about Robyn and look how that turned out! Kody tells her to stop wife hunting, and Meri insists that is not what she had in mind at all. The other ladies are hearing about it in Vegas because they’re all like “REALLY?!?!?!” Meri was just admiring her. Janelle says she thinks Meri goes sister wife recruiter when she wants to get to know someone because that is just the way her mind is wired. Kody wants to leave it as they were smitten by the tour guide but that is all.
I have to wonder if Meri’s real motive was to hear Kody admit that he thought the tour guide was hot. If so, Kody was wise to make the conversation about Meri instead. He sidestepped one of the oldest games in the book entitled “How to Screw With Your Man.” First, we lull you into a false sense of security by complimenting another female. Thinking it’s safe to do so, perhaps you agree or compliment said female. As soon as you do, we immediately go all Warren Commission on your ass and start asking specific questions. This interrogation usually culminates with emotional landmines like “is she prettier than me” or “you’re thinking about fucking her, aren’t you?” Yes, women are the devil.
“Why, Baldy??? Can’t you give us dudes a break?” Of course I can. I’m just not going to.