Gasmii, the Browns are really starting to irritate me. It took me forever to get through this episode and it was only 20 MINUTES LONG! If I took a shot of tequila each time I wanted to slap someone during this episode, I would have died from alcohol poisoning before it was even over. And if I lived, I would have woken up with a penis drawn on my face because that’s how we do in my people group.
Seriously this was the most slaptastic episode I’ve ever had to sit through. It was so slapperific that I’m going to call out each and every SUPERSLAP! moment I experienced while watching. What’s a SUPERSLAP! moment? It’s when I wanted to jump inside my TV and smack someone, but since that is not possible, I had to turn the TV off for a bit.
The format of the latest episode is a little different. Instead of following the Browns around as they struggle with each other, they’re sitting down to answer VIEWER QUESTIONS! Hard-hitting, critical questions that require the Browns to really examine and defend their beliefs, right?
“This one’s from Shari in Raleigh, NC – what is each wife’s favorite color?”
For the first time, we get to see behind the scenes as the crew gets Kody and his wives ready for their interview.
Look for this guy on TLC’s new series “Hipster Wives”
Robyn thinks answering viewer questions will be harder than being interviewed by a journalist because these questions are coming from the people who really care about the Browns and their life. Robyn the martyr doesn’t want to let her public down. UGH.
Settle down, Evita. Your fans will love whatever you say and everyone else will continue to find you irksome no matter what you say.
Let’s dive right in! Question #1 – Have the Browns ever wanted to throw their hands up in the air…and wave em like they just don’t care? Every damn day, yo! Oh, wait this question was for the Browns, not me. My bad! The FULL question is “Have you ever thought of throwing your hands up in the air and asking yourself is it all worth it?” Well that’s a specific question. Technically they could all say no if they haven’t thrown their hands up WHILE asking themselves if the polygamist lifestyle was worth all the pain and effort.
Ignoring the semantic problems with the question, Kody says this happens all the time and he’s sure they all go through it. Flashback to how annoying the move to Vegas was for the whole family. Christine had a meltdown on the side of the road about something or other:
“Christine, I can’t make a Wendy’s appear on this highway or conjure a frosty so get off my back already!”
Meri says she has doesn’t feel that way about everyone at the same time; there is usually someone she can connect with. Robyn chimes in “and that’s when I get a text” and they’re all lolz over it even though the subtext here is “I’m closer to Meri than all of you.” SUPERSLAP moment! Last episode she’s asserting that she knows Kody best, this episode she’s Meri’s sounding board – is anyone else getting somewhat of a Single White Female / Don’t Rock the Cradle / The Crush vibe from Robyn when she passively drops comments about how close she is to Kody and Meri? Someone check to see if Robyn is wearing the Ring of Power since she’s trying to RULE THEM ALL!
Kody explains the one truism of the Browns (his words, not mine): none of them will ever experience loneliness as long as at least one other person in the family is alive. (a) I don’t understand what that has to do with the question and (b) I can think of at least three different combinations of Browns that could still be living and have little to nothing to do with each other. Now there’s a fun game! What do you think the most awkward combination of Browns would be? You can combine kids and adults; let us know in the comments!