Meri’s least favorite thing about Kody is that he is way too serious. Christine agrees – he needs to learn not to answer rhetorical questions. Maybe you ladies could stop asking him rhetorical questions since you are responsible for changing to fit the relationship needs of Kody while he glides through life like Sammy Hagar riding waves of tequila in Cabo.
I’m waiting for Robyn’s complaint to be something like “He works too hard” but she has a genuine complaint and thus sidesteps a SUPERSLAP! She says that Kody is often dismissive when the wives ask him questions about situations and circumstances. To be fair, if he’s already debriefed 2 -3 wives, he’s probably really tired of telling the story by the time he gets around to seeing the last wife in the rotation. Sounds like someone should put together a newsletter or a blog!
Christine wants Kody to pay her all of his wives more compliments. I get that. When your self esteem is derived from external sources, it’s important that those external sources continue to deliver or else you’ll end up depressed and angry and munching on a tube of cookie dough while hiding in your bathtub with the door locked and the lights turned out. Or at least that’s how I cope.
Kody gives Christine a really lame complement as a joke, and Kody tells us that he goes into robot mode when Christine fishes for compliments. Christine laughs on the outside and cries on the inside in response.
“That’s hilarious! And by hilarious, I mean super-hurtful. Guess who just earned himself six more months of bitching courtesy of yours truly!”
Kody’s favorite things about his wives? Cue the sappy music! Meri is organized and neat. Janelle is sweet and easy. Christine is light and enjoys life. And Robyn is
thin and young kind and forgiving!.
Meri is irritated that Kody had flowery things to say about everyone but her. Sadly, her organization and neatness is probably is his favorite thing about her, but anyone with half a brain would have found something better to say. Per Kody, the other ladies are nice, kind, and fun to spend time with while Meri is functionally convenient. Swoon! Kody tries to save face by pointing out that the family would not have been able to get out of Utah as fast as they did without Meri’s organizational skills. At least call it leadership or something. Robyn agrees with Kody – who didn’t see THAT coming – Meri is all about the details. Christine jokes that they would still be packing to move without her. SUPERSLAPS! all around.
“HA-EFFING-HA. I’m barren and reliable. Isn’t the the way Orwell described the horse in Animal Farm? Fuck all y’alls.”
Question #7! Do any of the wives wonder what it would be like to to have Kody to themselves in a monogamous marriage? Kody says he’s sure they all think that way during the bad times (so all the time lately), and Meri immediately disagrees with this statement and Janelle concurs with her. Kody insists he’s asked Meri this very same question and she said yes. SUPERSLAP! Meri is all “hell to tha no!” and maintains that she has never thought this, not once. “NEV-ER. NEVER NEVER” is her exact response. Three NEVERS!. She is not fucking around here.
Kody….*sigh*…two things. ONE: WAY TO EMBARRASS MERI IN FRONT OF HER S-DUBS. I don’t care if she told you in private that she spends every second of every day wishing she was your only wife, you do not announce that shit in front of the other wives WHILE YOU ARE ON CAMERA. Use your head.
“Notice what my EYES are telling you? SHUT. YOUR. MOUTH.”
TWO: your wives CANNOT AFFORD to think about being your only wife because it would only depress the shit out of them. Don’t believe me? Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, I present to you Exhibit A: Christine since Robyn came along!