Sister Wives Recap: Q and A Panels are Super Boring

Sister Wives

By LadyBaldy | Friday, June 1, 2012 | 10:00 am | 13 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Recaps, Sister Wives

Meri’s least favorite thing about Kody is that he is way too serious. Christine agrees – he needs to learn not to answer rhetorical questions. Maybe you ladies could stop asking him rhetorical questions since you are responsible for changing to fit the relationship needs of Kody while he glides through life like Sammy Hagar riding waves of tequila in Cabo.

I’m waiting for Robyn’s complaint to be something like “He works too hard” but she has a genuine complaint and thus sidesteps a SUPERSLAP! She says that Kody is often dismissive when the wives ask him questions about situations and circumstances. To be fair, if he’s already debriefed 2 -3 wives, he’s probably really tired of telling the story by the time he gets around to seeing the last wife in the rotation. Sounds like someone should put together a newsletter or a blog!

Christine wants Kody to pay her all of his wives more compliments. I get that. When your self esteem is derived from external sources, it’s important that those external sources continue to deliver or else you’ll end up depressed and angry and munching on a tube of cookie dough while hiding in your bathtub with the door locked and the lights turned out.  Or at least that’s how I cope.

Kody gives Christine a really lame complement as a joke, and Kody tells us that he goes into robot mode when Christine fishes for compliments. Christine laughs on the outside and cries on the inside in response.

“That’s hilarious! And by hilarious, I mean super-hurtful. Guess who just earned himself six more months of bitching courtesy of yours truly!”

Kody’s favorite things about his wives? Cue the sappy music!  Meri is organized and neat. Janelle is sweet and easy. Christine is light and enjoys life. And Robyn is thin and young kind and forgiving!.

Meri is irritated that Kody had flowery things to say about everyone but her. Sadly, her organization and neatness is probably is his favorite thing about her, but anyone with half a brain would have found something better to say. Per Kody, the other ladies are nice, kind, and fun to spend time with while Meri is functionally convenient. Swoon! Kody tries to save face by pointing out that the family would not have been able to get out of Utah as fast as they did without Meri’s organizational skills. At least call it leadership or something. Robyn agrees with Kody – who didn’t see THAT coming – Meri is all about the details.  Christine jokes that they would still be packing to move without her. SUPERSLAPS! all around.

 “HA-EFFING-HA. I’m barren and reliable. Isn’t the the way Orwell described the horse in Animal Farm? Fuck all y’alls.”

Question #7! Do any of the wives wonder what it would be like to to have Kody to themselves in a monogamous marriage? Kody says he’s sure they all think that way during the bad times (so all the time lately), and Meri immediately disagrees with this statement and Janelle concurs with her. Kody insists he’s asked Meri this very same question and she said yes. SUPERSLAP! Meri is all “hell to tha no!” and maintains that she has never thought this, not once. “NEV-ER. NEVER NEVER” is her exact response. Three NEVERS!. She is not fucking around here.

Kody….*sigh*…two things. ONE: WAY TO EMBARRASS MERI IN FRONT OF HER S-DUBS. I don’t care if she told you in private that she spends every second of every day wishing she was your only wife, you do not announce that shit in front of the other wives WHILE YOU ARE ON CAMERA. Use your head.

“Notice what my EYES are telling you? SHUT. YOUR. MOUTH.”

TWO: your wives CANNOT AFFORD to think about being your only wife because it would only depress the shit out of them. Don’t believe me? Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, I present to you Exhibit A: Christine since Robyn came along!

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LadyBaldy
About

LadyBaldy was raised by TV and thus has a completely warped version of what life is supposed to be like. She cannot have a conversation about anything without comparing situations and people to her favorite shows and movies. During the day, she works in clinical research and at night, she watches TV and discusses it with her cats.

13 Comments

  1. 1
    mere2142
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 12:08 pm

    Thanks for taking this one for the team LadyB! I had to shut it off 10 minutes in for fear of dying of boredom!! Robyn came off as a total bitch. Team Christine all the way. Janelle is still my fav SW.

  2. 2
    NotWithoutMyTV notwithoutmytv
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 12:27 pm

    I love you for your Star Wars references.

    Is it just me, or does Admiral Ackbar kind of look like a cross between the worst features of Christine and Janelle. No, really. Look at him, and then at them, for a minute… see it??

  3. 3
    Closet Fan
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 12:42 pm

    I would love to see Christine approach Meri and Janelle about a 5th wife for the sole purpose of watching Robyn lose her mind.

  4. 4
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 1:55 pm

    Fun fact: FLDS believe in sex for procreation. That lets women who cannot conceive for whatever purpose off the hook.and if I were Kdouche’s wife, I’d have probably said something like, ” well I’m SURE 30 isn’t too young for menopause.”

    What kind of FDLS Mormons ( redundant, I know. Sue me.) are these?

  5. 5
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 2:14 pm

    Dear Cranky Bitch… Oops, I mean LadyB *wink* I really thought Robyn was so nice…. Before this year. Is it the dreaded editing that controls our perception of her? And the others?

    Christine always came out as spoiled and whiney, but I’m really beginning to think she has had a reason not to, shall we say, appreciate Robyn.

    Good call, Closet!

  6. 6
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 4:22 pm

    @LadyBaldy That was a great recap of the most annoying episode in Sister Wives history! Too bad the timing of me reading it and taking a pain pill turned out like it did. (START SCROLLING NOW)

    I’ve watched my mind completely change about Robyn.

    At 1st I felt sorry for her. Because it looked like she’d been left with 3 babies, a job that didn’t pay much and hardly any furniture. And I couldn’t help but wonder if she had a lot of other offers to stack Bozo up next to.

    At least he came with TLC $ for food and baby beds.

    But she keeps coming out with these little jabs. Like she thinks she’s better than them. I also think you’re right she doesn’t have a scrap of tact.

    Hollering out about Meri has a choice now was just trashy.

    Offering to do that for Meri was at least or more personal than birth control. And didn’t need to be on TV. But whatever. Once she offered it, she gave Meri a present. So it’s up to Meri if she wants to put it up on the mantelpiece and use it, or take it back to the store and swap it out for a pack of tank tops.

    It doesn’t turn into Robyn’s business again unless and until it goes up on the mantelpiece to get used. And even if that happened once the baby’s born it should quit being Robyn’s business for good.

    Which means Meri should get the tank tops. Because you know that baby’s whole life Robyn’d be hollering about how she carried it in her uterus because poor old Meri and her uterus are just 2 useless pieces of crap.

    When she knows good and well that part of their ways is thinking the main if not the only reason women are even alive on earth is to have babies and be mothers.

    So every time Robyn mentions it she’s saying a whole mess of subtext that’s even worse than a lot of people realize.

    I heart Janelle though! She’s guessing 1 or 2. And I suck at math but I think from the latest % they’ve figured out it’s probably closer to 3 gay and around 1.8 bi.

    All that stuff Robyn was saying about prejudice and hard life is exactly what old timey white folks used to give as their reason for wanting apartheid.

    On account of mixed people having such horrible tragic lives. When it’s not even their fault. At least not when they’re little. Just so many people are prejudiced. Not them of course. Because they’re just thinking about the poor little mixed babies..

    So I was giving out some SUPERSLAPS too!

    Including a big and overdue 1 to Bozo for that crack about how vulgar and sickening to think of Meri with another man.

    Although that might not be fair. Since he’s really still a middle school kid in his development. But talk about subtext!

    So when they show pics of young Bozo, has anybody else’s gaydar ever started beeping?

    Because mine’s probably expired and not that dependable. Since I’m married and not trying to fix up any relatives. Which according to my ways means I’ve got 0 reasons to even have gaydar anymore.

    (SAFE TO STOP SCROLLING)

  7. 7
    Kate Woehrle
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 5:01 pm

    I’m with ClosetFan – they definitely need to add a 5th wife. How dare Robyn have the nerve to tell him he’s not adding another wife after knowing how Christine feels! I truly think she’s passive/aggressive and thinks we’re not onto her. If I was Meri, I wouldn’t take Robyn up on her offer unless she’s ok with being reminded every single day of her life how grateful she should be for Robyn’s ultimate sacrifice of generosity. Ugh.
    Christine is my favorite wife just because I can relate to her emotions and I would be a bitch to Kody, too. I like Janelle, but she and Kody rate about a negative 1 on the chemistry scale – they’re basically just buds. Poor Meri with her organizational skills and nothing more to bring to the table.

  8. 8
    Closet Fan
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 5:18 pm

    I think Robyn is brilliant. What does she gain by the offer to cook Meri’s baby?
    1. Attention. Lots and lots of attention, much more than with Solomon. Meri will be at her beck and call 24/7. Kody will be able to justify borrowing time from Meri to be with Robyn knowing that Meri can’t say a damn word.
    2. Forever looking like the good young fertile wife in Kody’s eyes.
    3. This is the one that confirms her brilliance. For all of these years Meri gets a pass on her attitude because everyone feels sorry for her. Robyn resents that “pass” and wants it to go away so she offers Meri a choice. If Meri takes it read 1 and 2 above. Robyn wins. If Meri doesn’t take it she loses her “pass” and Robyn wins for herself AND Kody.

  9. 9
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 5:34 pm

    Day-amn ClosetTwin — no wonder Mom always liked you best.

  10. 10
    Caroling
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 10:20 pm

    I loved your re-cap of this pathetic excuse for an episode!

    This show is my guilty pleasure, but without the pleasure part. When I watched the first season, I felt sick just thinking about these people but I couldn’t figure out why. Then, in just these past two episodes it hit me: there is a fundamental lack of compatibility between K-Douche (<– love that!) and the Sister Wives.

    In the intro Christine (my fave) says "I wanted a family, I didn't just want the man". Clearly she is in this for her children. Her focus is on her children. The wives' comments consistently reflect their concern for their children and how their family will grow together. K-Douche is concerned only with himself and (only because he wouldn't be getting any loving without them) the wives. The episode about Date Nights showed him with the wives, but where is his overwhelming concern for the kids? When does he spend time with his children? I would have liked to see him try to name all of his children in order of age, with their full names and birthdates. I know that the mothers could do it in their sleep, but K-Douche is a huge whiny pain in the ass who does not seem to care at all for the world that exists outside the range of his penis!

    But I support Christine in her struggles, as they demonstrate that some part of her common sense has not lost touch with the world. I love her human-ness and her fallibility and I would totally look the other way if she hit Robyn upside the head with a frying pan one of these days!

  11. 11
    whatwhat
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 11:21 pm

    I get so frustrated with this show. I kinda like these people. They have their dumb moments, but we’ve all got our dumb moments. They seem like a nice enough family, if a little outside the box. But my main issue is what happens when they do these question answer sessions like this – the same thing happened when they did that talk at that school on the east coast. Someone asked them if it was okay for one woman to have many husbands, because obviously it should be since it’s apparently okay for one husband to have a ton of wives. It immediately cuts to Kody saying that’s one of the most frequent questions he’s asked, and it’s one of the most abrasive.

    And I get that. I totally get that. It’s because this whole marriage thing to them isn’t one dude just deciding he wants a bunch of chicks at his beck and call, it’s because according to whatever there religion is, they have to do this thing to get into heaven or whatever. Asking them if brother husbands are okay just does not compute, because it’s not a part of that religion. It’s an offensive question because it’s calling those religious beliefs into question. It would be the equivalent of going up to a Catholic and politely saying “Hey. Hey. You know how you eat the body of Christ? What body part is that? I mean like … is it all the body parts? Does that mean you’re eating his dick?”

    Needless to say, that question WOULD NOT GO OVER WELL. It’s the same concept here – people think they’re asking an innocent question, but it’s not really innocent at all.

    Which brings me to the problem I have with the show: For all the chatting they do about plural marriage and polygamy, for all the talk of how this is part of their faith, they really, really haven’t discussed that faith at all. Like…they avoid the topic almost entirely. I’m not a religious person at all, but I find theology fascinating – and it would be great if they actually shed some light on why exactly they think the way they do. Why it’s a faith thing. What’s up with the religion. What exactly is behind it all, what the history is. Yeah, it’s a fairly new religion when compared to the myriad out there, but if they want to be taken seriously, people need to understand. People aren’t going to understand if they keep dismissing any question that requires a direct answer about their faith with “Well it’s a tenet of our religion.”

    No, these wives aren’t happy all the time. Yeah, they’re jealous of each other. Yeah, they probably fight way more than they show on TV. But according to their faith, this is what they have to do. Is it weird? A little. But what religion isn’t, when you get down to it?

  12. 12
    kthxbai kthxbai
    Posted June 1, 2012 at 11:24 pm

    @Caroling I’ve wondered about that. She put it in as her tag line. And it is more the reason they’re supposed to be doing it. But she’s the 1 that’s had the big adjustment from thinking of it as a love marriage!

    Or that’s my theory. But then I’ve also been getting way too armchair head shrinker. Wondering if (at least) 1 reason Bozo got his development so stuck at middle school stage could be because of confusing feelings he had.

    That were so far from his ways and religion he never was able to accept himself.

  13. 13
    snowshoecat snowshoecat
    Posted June 2, 2012 at 7:06 am

    Kthxy, I think you nailed it. I’ve done lots of reading about polygamy, all from wives and ex-wives, so it is a tad biased. But one thing is consistant: “traditional” FLDS Mormons require a quorum (I believe it is 7 wives) for a man to get to heaven and bring the wives with him (the women can’t get to heaven without a man, as we all know). I haven’t read the Utah statute and never will ’cause I’m waaaaay too lazy, so I don’t know how stricktly it adheres to FLDS tenets. I would think it would have to follow.

    In any event, Ko-Douche seems to be a cafeteria FLDS. He can have three wives, and make it. Oh wait, he can have four wives…

    Also, nobody seems to understand the FLDS stance on birth control: abstence when the woman cannot conceive. Reprehensible as most of us view polygamy, at least the FLDS have rules and adhere to them. This family is neither fish nor fowl– mostly foul. I’m talking Ko-Douche here.

    And as you noticed, Kthxy and others, he is stuck in a junior high mentality. He’s a stunted adolescent. And those women are stuck with him.

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