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Friday, June 1, 2012
10:00 am
13 Comments
Tagged: funny, kody brown, LadyBaldy, polygamy, reality, reality show, recap, Robyn bugs, sarcastic, sister wives, Slaptastic, snarky, tlc, tvgasm, vegas
Meri tells us that people often approach them and offer to be the fifth wife and they have to explain that is not how it works; when the right person comes along, they know. They’ve never actively searched for additional wives.
Next question! Would the sister wives stick together if something happened to Kody? Christine says that the kids would kill them if they didn’t. Janelle says that other polygamist families go either way; some wives stay together, sometimes they remarry. Christine reminds everyone that she got into plural marriage to have sister wives, and her desire to have sister wives help raise her kids would not change if Kody was out of the picture. She openly cops to wanting help raising the terror that is Ysabel, and I don’t blame her. My mom could have used some backup when I was a teenager because I was a terror.
Kody says the ladies all have the right to remarry if something happens to him, and Christine has something to say but we’ll never really know what it was because Robyn (a.k.a. Ms. I know and love Kody the MOST) notes that this convo is making Kody sad. Robyn is on a ROLL with the irritating bullshit lately. SUPERSLAP!
“Guys, Kody looks super sad, am I the only one who noticed? Kody, are you sad?”
“I’m sorry, WHAT? Wow…Well I guess I’m done talking.”
Christine sees Kody’s sad face and agrees that they should move on to the next question. CONGRATULATIONS KODY, you got out of a difficult discussion YET AGAIN! Oh and Robyn? WAY TO ENABLE THAT SHIT. TAGTEAMSUPERSLAP!
I’ve long since given up on numbering them, so next question! How would the Browns react if one of their kids came out as gay? Janelle would not be bothered at all, and she assumes that at least one of their kids is probably homosexual just because they have so many. Statistically speaking, she’s probably right. I love the fact that she doesn’t care one way or another.
Christine is trying to come off as loving and accepting, but you can tell she’s struggling with the concept. First she tells everyone about the time one of her daughters asked her how she would feel if said daughter was a lesbian. She immediately points out that her daughter asked this because she likes to be spontaneous, and Kody clarifies that Christine means that her daughter likes to push her parents’ buttons. Nice save, Kody! And Christine, go look up what spontaneous means when you have moment.
“Fuck off Baldy, this ain’t the Oxford School of Perfect Vocabulary!”
In any case, Christine told her that she would not be able to have girls play in her room the same way she is not allowed to have boys play in her room at the moment. Boys are not allowed because they’re operating under the assumption that her daughter is straight. Basically the daughter would not allowed to be alone in her room with any genitals that interested her. Fair enough.
Christine also told her daughter that she thinks it would be really difficult to have a relationship with a girl because then no one would be allowed in her room or whatever. Bottom line: lesbians don’t get to play with anyone in their rooms, so you probably should avoid being a lesbian.
In fairness to Christine, what I think she is trying to get across here is that it doesn’t matter whether or not her kids are gay and date people of the same sex, the rules and the standards of behavior in her home will be the same.
Robyn says that she would be sad for a gay kid because it’s a hard life, and she would feel sad for the prejudice they would face. Robyn honey? The gays don’t want your pity. And yes, it is a hard life in some ways, but it’s also an ultra-fucking-fabulous life. Your gay kids will want you to be HAPPY for them. Kody sums it up by saying that as a family, they have already decided that they will accept their kids’ choices in relationships, whether gay or straight, monogamous or polygamous. And as much as this family bugs me in so many ways, this is one thing I do love about them. I’m not a parent, but I know it’s not always easy to let your kids be who they are instead of pushing them to be who you want them to be.
13 Comments
Thanks for taking this one for the team LadyB! I had to shut it off 10 minutes in for fear of dying of boredom!! Robyn came off as a total bitch. Team Christine all the way. Janelle is still my fav SW.
I love you for your Star Wars references.
Is it just me, or does Admiral Ackbar kind of look like a cross between the worst features of Christine and Janelle. No, really. Look at him, and then at them, for a minute… see it??
I would love to see Christine approach Meri and Janelle about a 5th wife for the sole purpose of watching Robyn lose her mind.
Fun fact: FLDS believe in sex for procreation. That lets women who cannot conceive for whatever purpose off the hook.and if I were Kdouche’s wife, I’d have probably said something like, ” well I’m SURE 30 isn’t too young for menopause.”
What kind of FDLS Mormons ( redundant, I know. Sue me.) are these?
Dear Cranky Bitch… Oops, I mean LadyB *wink* I really thought Robyn was so nice…. Before this year. Is it the dreaded editing that controls our perception of her? And the others?
Christine always came out as spoiled and whiney, but I’m really beginning to think she has had a reason not to, shall we say, appreciate Robyn.
Good call, Closet!
@LadyBaldy That was a great recap of the most annoying episode in Sister Wives history! Too bad the timing of me reading it and taking a pain pill turned out like it did. (START SCROLLING NOW)
I’ve watched my mind completely change about Robyn.
At 1st I felt sorry for her. Because it looked like she’d been left with 3 babies, a job that didn’t pay much and hardly any furniture. And I couldn’t help but wonder if she had a lot of other offers to stack Bozo up next to.
At least he came with TLC $ for food and baby beds.
But she keeps coming out with these little jabs. Like she thinks she’s better than them. I also think you’re right she doesn’t have a scrap of tact.
Hollering out about Meri has a choice now was just trashy.
Offering to do that for Meri was at least or more personal than birth control. And didn’t need to be on TV. But whatever. Once she offered it, she gave Meri a present. So it’s up to Meri if she wants to put it up on the mantelpiece and use it, or take it back to the store and swap it out for a pack of tank tops.
It doesn’t turn into Robyn’s business again unless and until it goes up on the mantelpiece to get used. And even if that happened once the baby’s born it should quit being Robyn’s business for good.
Which means Meri should get the tank tops. Because you know that baby’s whole life Robyn’d be hollering about how she carried it in her uterus because poor old Meri and her uterus are just 2 useless pieces of crap.
When she knows good and well that part of their ways is thinking the main if not the only reason women are even alive on earth is to have babies and be mothers.
So every time Robyn mentions it she’s saying a whole mess of subtext that’s even worse than a lot of people realize.
I heart Janelle though! She’s guessing 1 or 2. And I suck at math but I think from the latest % they’ve figured out it’s probably closer to 3 gay and around 1.8 bi.
All that stuff Robyn was saying about prejudice and hard life is exactly what old timey white folks used to give as their reason for wanting apartheid.
On account of mixed people having such horrible tragic lives. When it’s not even their fault. At least not when they’re little. Just so many people are prejudiced. Not them of course. Because they’re just thinking about the poor little mixed babies..
So I was giving out some SUPERSLAPS too!
Including a big and overdue 1 to Bozo for that crack about how vulgar and sickening to think of Meri with another man.
Although that might not be fair. Since he’s really still a middle school kid in his development. But talk about subtext!
So when they show pics of young Bozo, has anybody else’s gaydar ever started beeping?
Because mine’s probably expired and not that dependable. Since I’m married and not trying to fix up any relatives. Which according to my ways means I’ve got 0 reasons to even have gaydar anymore.
(SAFE TO STOP SCROLLING)
I’m with ClosetFan – they definitely need to add a 5th wife. How dare Robyn have the nerve to tell him he’s not adding another wife after knowing how Christine feels! I truly think she’s passive/aggressive and thinks we’re not onto her. If I was Meri, I wouldn’t take Robyn up on her offer unless she’s ok with being reminded every single day of her life how grateful she should be for Robyn’s ultimate sacrifice of generosity. Ugh.
Christine is my favorite wife just because I can relate to her emotions and I would be a bitch to Kody, too. I like Janelle, but she and Kody rate about a negative 1 on the chemistry scale – they’re basically just buds. Poor Meri with her organizational skills and nothing more to bring to the table.
I think Robyn is brilliant. What does she gain by the offer to cook Meri’s baby?
1. Attention. Lots and lots of attention, much more than with Solomon. Meri will be at her beck and call 24/7. Kody will be able to justify borrowing time from Meri to be with Robyn knowing that Meri can’t say a damn word.
2. Forever looking like the good young fertile wife in Kody’s eyes.
3. This is the one that confirms her brilliance. For all of these years Meri gets a pass on her attitude because everyone feels sorry for her. Robyn resents that “pass” and wants it to go away so she offers Meri a choice. If Meri takes it read 1 and 2 above. Robyn wins. If Meri doesn’t take it she loses her “pass” and Robyn wins for herself AND Kody.
Day-amn ClosetTwin — no wonder Mom always liked you best.
I loved your re-cap of this pathetic excuse for an episode!
This show is my guilty pleasure, but without the pleasure part. When I watched the first season, I felt sick just thinking about these people but I couldn’t figure out why. Then, in just these past two episodes it hit me: there is a fundamental lack of compatibility between K-Douche (<– love that!) and the Sister Wives.
In the intro Christine (my fave) says "I wanted a family, I didn't just want the man". Clearly she is in this for her children. Her focus is on her children. The wives' comments consistently reflect their concern for their children and how their family will grow together. K-Douche is concerned only with himself and (only because he wouldn't be getting any loving without them) the wives. The episode about Date Nights showed him with the wives, but where is his overwhelming concern for the kids? When does he spend time with his children? I would have liked to see him try to name all of his children in order of age, with their full names and birthdates. I know that the mothers could do it in their sleep, but K-Douche is a huge whiny pain in the ass who does not seem to care at all for the world that exists outside the range of his penis!
But I support Christine in her struggles, as they demonstrate that some part of her common sense has not lost touch with the world. I love her human-ness and her fallibility and I would totally look the other way if she hit Robyn upside the head with a frying pan one of these days!
I get so frustrated with this show. I kinda like these people. They have their dumb moments, but we’ve all got our dumb moments. They seem like a nice enough family, if a little outside the box. But my main issue is what happens when they do these question answer sessions like this – the same thing happened when they did that talk at that school on the east coast. Someone asked them if it was okay for one woman to have many husbands, because obviously it should be since it’s apparently okay for one husband to have a ton of wives. It immediately cuts to Kody saying that’s one of the most frequent questions he’s asked, and it’s one of the most abrasive.
And I get that. I totally get that. It’s because this whole marriage thing to them isn’t one dude just deciding he wants a bunch of chicks at his beck and call, it’s because according to whatever there religion is, they have to do this thing to get into heaven or whatever. Asking them if brother husbands are okay just does not compute, because it’s not a part of that religion. It’s an offensive question because it’s calling those religious beliefs into question. It would be the equivalent of going up to a Catholic and politely saying “Hey. Hey. You know how you eat the body of Christ? What body part is that? I mean like … is it all the body parts? Does that mean you’re eating his dick?”
Needless to say, that question WOULD NOT GO OVER WELL. It’s the same concept here – people think they’re asking an innocent question, but it’s not really innocent at all.
Which brings me to the problem I have with the show: For all the chatting they do about plural marriage and polygamy, for all the talk of how this is part of their faith, they really, really haven’t discussed that faith at all. Like…they avoid the topic almost entirely. I’m not a religious person at all, but I find theology fascinating – and it would be great if they actually shed some light on why exactly they think the way they do. Why it’s a faith thing. What’s up with the religion. What exactly is behind it all, what the history is. Yeah, it’s a fairly new religion when compared to the myriad out there, but if they want to be taken seriously, people need to understand. People aren’t going to understand if they keep dismissing any question that requires a direct answer about their faith with “Well it’s a tenet of our religion.”
No, these wives aren’t happy all the time. Yeah, they’re jealous of each other. Yeah, they probably fight way more than they show on TV. But according to their faith, this is what they have to do. Is it weird? A little. But what religion isn’t, when you get down to it?
@Caroling I’ve wondered about that. She put it in as her tag line. And it is more the reason they’re supposed to be doing it. But she’s the 1 that’s had the big adjustment from thinking of it as a love marriage!
Or that’s my theory. But then I’ve also been getting way too armchair head shrinker. Wondering if (at least) 1 reason Bozo got his development so stuck at middle school stage could be because of confusing feelings he had.
That were so far from his ways and religion he never was able to accept himself.
Kthxy, I think you nailed it. I’ve done lots of reading about polygamy, all from wives and ex-wives, so it is a tad biased. But one thing is consistant: “traditional” FLDS Mormons require a quorum (I believe it is 7 wives) for a man to get to heaven and bring the wives with him (the women can’t get to heaven without a man, as we all know). I haven’t read the Utah statute and never will ’cause I’m waaaaay too lazy, so I don’t know how stricktly it adheres to FLDS tenets. I would think it would have to follow.
In any event, Ko-Douche seems to be a cafeteria FLDS. He can have three wives, and make it. Oh wait, he can have four wives…
Also, nobody seems to understand the FLDS stance on birth control: abstence when the woman cannot conceive. Reprehensible as most of us view polygamy, at least the FLDS have rules and adhere to them. This family is neither fish nor fowl– mostly foul. I’m talking Ko-Douche here.
And as you noticed, Kthxy and others, he is stuck in a junior high mentality. He’s a stunted adolescent. And those women are stuck with him.