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Let’s dive right in, shall we?
Previously on Snooki & JWoww: Snooki is pregnant; Snooki decided to invite the Jersey Shore roommates over for dinner and to announce her engagement and pregnancy; JMomm is doing a terrible job pretending that she is not insanely jealous about Snooki’s impending domestic life.
I don’t care, I love it!
We rejoin the girls and their summertime roommates at the dinner party, with Snooki saying, “The real reason why I invited you guys here… is because me and Jionni are engaged.” The girls squeal with excitement, the boys express disbelief and surprise, and Vinny says, “I’m a little upset about this.” In an interview, he tells us, “Everybody knows you don’t even get a girlfriend at the Jersey Shore. A wife? A husband? That’s out of control.”
He quizzes Snooki about whether she really thinks that two years of dating is enough time before deciding to spend your life with a person. He then says, “You know that’s one penis for the rest of your life?” “I love his penis,” Snooki responds. Pauly asks to look at the ring, leading to another talking head from Vinny. “Jionni can’t afford that shit, he doesn’t even have a job.” At the dinner table, Pauly asks, “Did you buy it?” and is rewarded with an “Oh no you didn’t!” guffaw from JMomm. The whole table finds the question funny, actually. I’ll admit it, I also assumed that she paid for her own ring, but it’s one thing to speculate about that privately and another thing entirely to say it to a person’s face. “This isn’t something to bust my balls about,” Snooki interviews. “You’re supposed to be happy for me.”
“You’ll probably be divorced soon anyway,” Vinny says. I know he and Snooki had an on-again-off-again thing in the early Jersey Shore days and that she cheated on Jionni with him when they were in Italy, but he is being an incredible dick about this whole thing. “Greaaaat…” Snooki mutters, probably wishing that she had “forgotten” to call Vinny as well as Mike.
Everybody shuts up at this point, because Vinny has obviously gone too far and turned what was intended by most of them (I hope) as good-natured teasing into pure bitchery. “Awkward,” Ronnie finally says. This breaks the ice, and Pauly says what everybody should have said right off the bat: “Congratulations on the engagement!” Snooki tells them all, “Dig in. Assholes.”
The dinner now takes an even more awkward turn as Vinny asks JMomm if she is also engaged. “I wish,” she replies, which is the most honest thing she’s said yet about this whole situation. “You’re getting up there, girl,” Vinny helpfully contributes, “you gotta get on that.”
“Ask Roger,” JMomm says despondently. Sammi asks how long they’ve been together, and it turns out that Paul Bunyan and JMomm have been dating for almost exactly as long as Snooki and Jionni. Information that is revealed later in the episode will help shed some light on why PB is dragging his feet when it comes to making an honest woman out of poor Jenni. The conversation turns back to Snooki’s engagement, and Pauly interviews that he can’t picture Snooki being tied down… except to a bed post. Zing!