“That was a lot of news to take in over dinner,” Pauly says. The rest of the roommates agree, and they all thank Snooki and Jenni for dinner, hug goodbye, and head out into the night. As they file out onto the sidewalk, Pauly says, “I thought Jenni would be the one to announce her engagement first.”
Meanwhile, JMomm lets us all know what she’s going to look like when she’s 80 and has taken her dentures out.
The girls stare at each other awkwardly for a while, and then JMomm half-heartedly attempts to apologize for the way she acted. “You’ve been saying things like that this whole time,” Snooki tells her. “I didn’t think before I said,” is JMomm’s excuse. “I am really excited for you, even though it comes out weird.” Yes, that is obviously what is going on.
Now in their jammies, Snooki invites JMomm to watch a video of “a baby coming out” with her. “I don’t know if I’m prepared for this,” Jenni says, “am I gonna have nightmares?” “Maybe…” Snooki replies, smirking quietly. “I’m really intrigued about birth now because, obviously, I’m going to have a baby,” she tells us. Snooki pulls up some child birth videos on the computer, and JMomm watches it with her. “Just seeing babies pop out of vaginas is so crazy!” Snooki interviews. The word vagina comes up so often in this segment of the show, it has started to lose its meaning. JMomm is shocked and appalled at how far a vagina stretches during birth.
Videos of natural deliveries can basically be summed up with one magical little word: Horrorporn.
JMomm tells Snooki that she better be working on her Kegels over the next six months. “Do you do your Kegels?” Snooki asks. “Yeah,” Jenni nods. “Why?” asks Snooki. Sadly, JMomm’s reply is bleeped out, and she is being filmed in profile so I can’t lipread her brief answer, but I’m assuming that it has something to do with keeping things nice and tight, because Snooki’s response is, “You slut.”
The next morning, JMomm is bitching about how she is spending soooo much time getting the house finished. “I haven’t gone to the gym, I haven’t gone tanning, I haven’t done my nails…. I wake up thinking about parties and what to get for this stupid house.” Snooki and I roll our eyes.“Today we’re having our housewarming party,” Snooki tells us. “So we’re inviting friends and family here to celebrate, finally, our finished apartment.” The trouble is, it’s not quite finished yet. They are going to need some handyman help in order to get everything done before the party.
Speaking of handymen, the phone rings, and when the girls let the answering machine get it (outgoing message: “Leave a sexy message, bitches! Byeeeee.”) the person calling them is Anthony the Handyman. He hasn’t been paid for his work yet and wants to know when he’s getting his money. I am having a very difficult time believing that this is not a manufactured story line. JMomm says she’ll call Anthony the Handyman back when Brian the Handyman is at the house, because then they’ll feel safer.
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