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Joey #2 is sitting on the sofa and shouts “Hi Roger!” to Paul Bunyan, who is sitting nearby in a papasan chair. “Are… you… thinkin’bout me morethanfriend?” Joey slurs. “Whaaaat?” PB asks, and Joey shakes his head, trilling, “Whoopsie!”
“So, Nicole’s Joey,” Paul Bunyan interviews, “seems like he’s taken a little liking to me.” Joey continues to flirt drunkenly, so Paul Bunyan decides that the appropriate response is to tip the sofa that Joey is sitting on onto its back, spilling Joey onto the floor. Joey tells JMomm that he shouldn’t have fallen off of the couch because he is “very fit.” He says this while rubbing his belly which, while not what one might call huge, does have a mildly Buddha-esque quality to it. “I know you are,” JMomm says in a reassuring voice.
Meanwhile, in another part of the room, Paul Bunyan is declaiming loudly about how he’s never been denied sex more often than he has while dating JMomm. “I don’t even think Roger realizes right now the number of sexual comments he’s making, cos he’s so drunk,” JMomm interviews, and we cut to PB saying, “I have a tiny dick and I love it!” thus neatly answering my questions about whether or not he uses steroids. JMomm continues her statement to us: “Especially, right next to my father.”
“My dad is next to you!” JMomm yells, and Paul Bunyan laughs and says, “He knows I have a tiny penis!” JMomm’s dad shrugs and smiles. JMomm interviews, “I feel like Roger just doesn’t know when enough is enough,” and her point is proven when PB overshares, “I’ve had chlamydia four times.” Sweet merciful goodness, use a freaking condom! What is wrong with people? After hearing this revelation of stupidity and reckless behaviour, JMomm’s dad looks troubled.
JMomm gets up saying she has to pee, and Paul Bunyan quips, “It’ll probably burn a little bit.” She tells us that if he keeps joking like this, she’s not going to have sex with him.
Daddy JMomm wanders outside and finds Papa Snooki sitting at the patio table. “This is more like it,” Daddy J says, “a little break from the action.” My father was pretty crap as parents go, but I can guarantee you that if I ever brought a guy home who said anything remotely like the things Paul Bunyan was saying in front of my dad, he would have had his ass handed to him before anybody even knew what had happened.
“So what’s your take on the girls?” Papa Snooki asks. “I think it’s awesome,” Daddy J replies. Papa Snooki says that he sees them… “Maturing?” Daddy J supplies, and that is indeed the word Papa Snooki was looking for. Inside, JMomm drunkenly falls out of the papasan chair. “They’ve been through a lot in the past few years,” Papa Snooki says, and Daddy J agrees. “It’s amazing how far they’ve come,” he says. Papa Snooki is glad that the girls have become such close friends. “They look out for each other,” he says. Daddy J asks if Papa Snooki is relieved at seeing Snooki growing up “in a sense,” and Papa Snooki nods and grins. This conversation is both stilted and nonsensical, and not just because Daddy J is so spacey.The party is over, and the guests are leaving. “Bye, handsome!” Joey #2 says to Paul Bunyan. JMomm interviews that it’s getting late, and everybody can get the fuck out so they can go to bed. That’s how I like to end my parties: “Everybody get the fuck out so I can go to bed!” Except I generally shout it through a megaphone.