SYTYCD: Who’s Going Home…home…home…home

So You Think You Can Dance

By PottyMouth | Tuesday, July 6, 2010 | 12:00 pm | 18 Comments
Tagged: , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in: Featured, Recaps, So You Think You Can Dance

Welcome to the least suspenseful results shows ever!  After last night’s performance show, I think it’s safe to say we all can predict precisely who will be leaving us at the end of this hour.  Unless the judges try to throw us a curveball.  Do you think…...naw, they wouldn’t do that, would they?  Welcome!  To So You Think You Can Dance (dance…….dance)!

Poor Cat.  I think Thursday nights have traumatized her.  Her only consolation is her ritual pre-show fuck in her dressing room.  But I think she really needs to start giving herself a little more time.  At least enough to brush her hair before going on stage.

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Mmmmm……….That night off really did wonders for Mark’s stamina…..

As is the usual for these results shows, we’re starting with a group routine; this time danced to “O Fortuna”.

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Ummmm……I don’t know where to start.  I’m thinking choreography this stupid had to have been done by Sir BitchyPants.  I honestly never thought I’d think “O Fortuna” was boring.  This dance made me rethink that.  This was a clusterfuck of weird ballet/modern/afro pop jazz, and, for me at least, it did not work at all.

Oh, my bad.  Not Sir BitchyPants, but a new choreographer, Jamel Gaines.  Sorry Sir BitchyPants, but I’m sure you can understand my mistake, right?  I can only hope that if we see Jamel again, he’ll bring something better than this.  God, I hate it when I start out this cranky.  There’s nowhere to go from here.

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Don’t look at me like that, Jamel.

Some people are so touchy.  Next time choreograph something good and I won’t have to confuse you with Sir BitchyPants.

Anyway, Cat comes out and reminds us YET AGAIN that we are live.  I’m so glad, because I for one had completely forgotten.  As Cat introduces the judges I am convinced that we only have about two more weeks before Mia’s eyes disappear completely.

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Soon she will be judging by sonar alone.

When Cat gets to Nigel I’m thinking we’re going to hear more about dance day and how much we have to all whore it up so maybe Fox will send a camera to our neighborhoods.  I’m wrong.  This week she wants him to tell us about some changes that are coming.

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Don’t worry, I won’t be toning down my pervy comments.  I know how you all look forward to them.

He tells us that they like to challenge the dancers each week, so next week they will be doing two routines.  For those of you feeling sorry for the women all stars, don’t.  They will only dance one dance with an all star next week; the other will be partnered from within the contestant pool itself.

He says they’re going to make sure they dance with all star they’ve never danced with which should be super hard considering the pick is randomly decided.  Mia jokingly adds, “And then, one of us.”  As if that would ever happen.  And yes, I’m still bitter about the judges’ dance that turned out to be just a bunch of walking and posing.  No, I will not let it go.

Personally, I like that they’re finally going to dance with each other, and I’m really curious to see how they pair them up.  I mean, what random assignments they get.

Alright, enough of the blather, let’s get on to the results.  Instead of doing three groups of three, we’re getting a first group of four: Kent, Adechike, Ashley and Alex.

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We all know there is no way in hell that Alex is in danger tonight.  After we revisit his awesome hip hop followed by the judges’ multiple orgasms, Cat tells him what we all already knew; he is safe.  Ashley is also safe, and I’m glad. So we’re down to Adechike and Kent.  I’m thinking for sure Adechike is in the bottom three; Kent seems like he has too many fans to be voted into the bottom this early on.

But then, Cat says Adechike is safe.  And I’m really surprised.  But…..could it be……Kent is safe too!  Yep, that was a Cat fakeout, and I have to admit that she fooled me.  Well played Cat, well played.

After a short commercial break, we’re back with the next group:  Billy, Robert and Lauren.

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Unless both Jose and Melinda are in the bottom, two of these dancers will be in the bottom three.  I think Lauren might be in trouble when Cat starts with her, but the dirty old man contingent must have been power dialing last night because she is safe.

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So once again we’re left with Billy and Robert.  Cat says maybe they should arm wrestle to see who is in the bottom, and Billy says that it would definitely be him if they did that.  Hee!  She revisits each of their performances along with the judges’ comments, and then cuts to another break.  Yay!  I always appreciate the fake drama of a commercial break, don’t you?

When we return, Cat tells Billy he is in the bottom three.  Robert has a brief moment of relief before Cat informs him he’s in the bottom as well.

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Come on, who didn’t see that coming?

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I didn’t!

Oh Hugh, you’re so silly sometimes.

Cat asks Mia why America is not voting for these guys.  She thinks it’s because they’re not connecting.  That may be true for Billy, but I think Robert is there because he’s fucking annoying as hell.  Mia talks about how brilliant Billy is and says he must be sick of hearing people say that.  She thinks that may actually be the problem; that’s stopping him from being open to growth and to making mistakes.  I think she may be on to something there.

She thinks Robert has a great personality (ha!), but when he hits the stage it’s not quite……he has to figure that out.  UGH!  Just fucking tell him he irritates people and there’s probably nothing he can do to remedy that at this point.

Whether or not he actually has a great personality doesn’t matter.  The personality he chose to show America the first couple of weeks has caused him to land in the bottom.  Shit!  Even his mom sob story inspiration package didn’t help him out this week.  The damage is already done.  I predict he will be in the bottom again next week.

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Don’t roll your eyes at me!  I didn’t tell you to act like a moron the last two weeks!

That leaves us with just Jose and Melinda.

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I don’t think I’ve seen two dancers on this show stand further apart during the results.  I’m fairly certain I know the way this one is going to go and……..

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Yup.  No surprises here.

Cat asks Adam what Melinda can do tonight to save herself again.

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Uhhhh…howcanisaythis…NOTHING.

Sorry, that’s what he would have said if he was being honest.  Instead, he goes on and on about how she needs to show some vulnerability, but only after he points out that he’s sure she saw in the playback that there were some technical difficulties with the routine last night.

Yeah, if I was her I sure would strive to show some vulnerability to the assholes who told me last night that keeping me was a mistake.  Shut the fuck up, Adam.  I’m pretty sure that Billy and Robert could both do a Kupuno “I’m taking a dump on stage” solo and she’d STILL be the one going home.  Frankly, I think I might have a heart attack if they decide to save her again.

Adam also uses this opportunity to point out that Jose isn’t as good a dancer as Melinda is, but says he has more charisma.  Even though I am not a fan of Melinda’s, I do think she’s handling herself well here; I’m sure she can see the writing on the wall, and she just stands there and listens.

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Okay, she throws a small eye roll in there, but after last night can you really blame her?

At this point we usually get a guest dance performance while the dancers are getting ready for their solos, but Cat tells us that since they changed the format this season they’ve been getting a lot of letters and e-mails about the all stars.  So they’ve decided to highlight them during this portion; reminding us of how we first met them, and revisiting some of their best performances.

This week we’re focusing on Mark and Courtney.  First we relive Courtney’s audition, along with Nigel’s season four hairdon’t.

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Yikes!

We also get a quick glimpse of Mark’s Vegas “Bohemian Rhapsody” solo which I think I would kill to see all of.  Cat tells us that when they got together with Sonya, it led to one of the most memorable routines ever.  Like, ever, ever.  For real ever.  Yup, you guessed it, it’s “The Garden”!

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I have always and will always love this dance.  LOVE IT.  That said, I love it more on the old stage than being swallowed up by the great pumpkin.  Still, cavernous stage or not, I love this dance.  Did I mention I love it?

I’m thinking we’ll be going right into the solos now, but I’m wrong.  We’re getting another dance performance.  This one feature the Cirque de Soleil performers from Viva Elvis and is choreographed by Mandy Moore and Tabitha and Napoleon.  I’m confused.  Did they choreograph the whole show, or just this routine?

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I loved the stepping in that routine.  So cool.  It was a fun number and well danced.  Cat makes sure to let us know that Chris and Marquis from season four were among the dancers in this routine.  Hey guys most of barely remember!

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Solo time.  Billy is up first.

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What can I really say here?  I mean, I love watching him dance.  He’s truly gifted and I think there is no way in hell they’re going to cut him from the competition.  Not at this point anyway.  I still can’t believe he only started dancing when he was twelve.  Unreal.

Up next is Robert.

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Meh.  Again.  I’m in the same position as always with this guy; I can see that he’s a good dancer, but I don’t enjoy watching him.  Also, his solos are not dynamic at all; he really needs someone to help him choreograph something better.

Last up is Melinda.

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She taps a cappella this week, and I have to say that I enjoyed her performance more like this, without the distraction of her dancing against the music.  I’ll tell you what, I may not get all warm and fuzzy watching her dance, but this girl has got some CLEAN tapping going on here.  I have to give her props for that.

Cat sends the judges off to have their fake conversation about who is getting the axe.  To help us pass the time while they all pick their noses backstage, we have Ne-Yo!  Don’t get too excited though because the all stars will not be dancing backup this week.

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Was it just me or did that performance seem to go on and on and on and on?  That felt soooooo long.  I think it’s hilarious that he didn’t even bother pretending to lip sync during the choruses.  Did he think no one would notice?  Does he not care?  I guess moving your mouth while dancing is just too hard.

Alright, the time has come.  Let’s find out who is staying and who is going.  Nigel tells us this week the judges’ decision was unanimous.  For one brief moment I wonder if they’ll send Robert home since we desperately need to lose a boy at this point.

Nigel says that both Billy and Robert have heard a lot tonight, and he thinks Mia hit the nail on the head; they’ve got to figure out for themselves what is missing.  With that, he tells them both to go sit down (or stand off stage) for this evening.  And just like that, Melinda is going home. I’m sure even she was unsurprised at that decision.

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Nigel says he adores her (ewwww) and thinks that she dances to the beat of her own drum; he thinks she won’t ever have a problem working.  After her goodbye montage, Cat asks her what’s she’s enjoyed most about the competition.  Melinda says she’s most thankful for being able to share the gifts that she’s been given and to share her music.

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She points out her fellow competitors as what she will remember the most, saying that they taught her about working with others, about herself, and about being in the moment.  And with that, Melinda is out, and this week’s show is over.

What did you think, Gasmi?  Were you surprised at all by this outcome?  Did you think for a moment that they would get rid of a boy just to even things out a little?  I think we’ll see a boy go next week, without a doubt.  In fact, I’m thinking that the next two weeks will be guy eliminations, then possibly Lauren might go.  That’s if Nigel’s boner doesn’t wake up and save her.

Whatever happens, you know I’ll be there to watch and cheer and bitch!  You’ll be there too, won’t you?

SWAK, PottyMouth





PottyMouth

When she isn't screaming curses at various dance show judges or washing her OWN mouth out with soap, PottyMouth is a proud mama to a gorgeous little boy. And yes, she knows everyone says that about their kids, but it's true when she says it. YES IT IS. Fuck you. She also laments throwing away the chance to be a trophy wife, and would like to find a rich husband so she can sit on her ass all day long and watch TV. If you are fabulously wealthy, look like Hugh Jackman (or ARE in fact Hugh Jackman), and are turned on by foul-mouthed, mature, slightly smooshy women, then she just may be the gal for you. Please send picture, references and your latest bank statement for review.

18 Comments

  1. 1
    Moli Moli
    Posted July 6, 2010 at 1:28 pm

    Robert was going home. I know, I know I’m the only person in the world that likes him or tried to understand him. Melinda’s gone yay! The first thing I said ‘Ne-Yo’ isn’t even trying to lip sync, and who were the former SYTYCD dancers? There was a guy name Chris on the show? I remember Marqui’s name and that is about it. Swoons I love love love The Garden, Courtney doing the(I have no dancing lingo)walking tiptoe dance thing(fav part)love it more each time I see it.

  2. 2
    Mooshie
    Posted July 6, 2010 at 1:52 pm

    Another fabuloso recap. I think the Gasmi should start a fund to help PottyMouth win this date with Wolverine! http://www.charitybuzz.com/catalog_items/211708?source=carousel

  3. 3
    s-k-s
    Posted July 6, 2010 at 2:37 pm

    If Robert is in the B3 this week, there’s no way he’s not going home. He will be the only one with three B3 appearances. I’m assuming Billy’s fans will rally and save him for another week, and we’ll see some combo of Adechike/Lauren/Ashley in the B3.

    I really think Lauren and Ashley are safe for a while – neither has made a B3 appearance yet, and they need at least 1 girl to make the top 4.

  4. 4
    CattyFan cattyfan
    Posted July 6, 2010 at 3:15 pm

    It was pretty obvious once Lauren was declared safe that both Billy and Robert had to be in the bottom three…or the last two dancers not on stage would automatically have completed the bottom three.

    I LOVED that two really great dance numbers were featured as entertainment. Please…more of those and fewer of those awful lip-synch du jour numbers.

    My apologies for having included the following in my response to the Wednesday show:

    “As for Melinda’s solo, she scrapped the music…because she never follows the music anyway. And if you tried to find what count she was using for her solo, THERE WASN’T ONE. She just does a bunch of moves she thinks are interesting, and that’s why I hate her as a tapper.”

    Regardless of when I said it, It’s still true.

    “Nigel says he adores her (ewwww) and thinks that she dances to the beat of her own drum” Yes…because that’s the only way for Melinda to keep time. If someone else is drumming with an actual BEAT, she’s pretty much screwed.

    As for the bidding on the charity item, I will bid on it for myself…but only if by “working out with Wolverine” they mean sitting on the sidelines sipping iced tea and ogling Wolverine.

  5. 5
    rubberduck1810
    Posted July 6, 2010 at 3:25 pm

    I had that split second panic that Robert was going home too. Two weeks too late, but so glad she’s finally gone. Still can’t believe Adechike wasn’t in the bottom though. I’m never happy, I know.
    But I am really looking forward to next week though, to see the contestants dance together! I’ve got my fingers crossed for Billy and Ashley. Plus, that means 2 all male routines! I’m hoping for one of those to be a Tyce number about AIDs.
    Seriously, Adechike better go next week. I just don’t get how he’s still in. From the editing of his time in Vegas, I thought he was almost certain to be gone in the first few weeks.
    Billy is still my favourite male soloist since Danny. Oh Danny…

  6. 6
    vallegirl vallegirl
    Posted July 6, 2010 at 3:39 pm

    “Seriously, Adechike better go next week. I just don’t get how he’s still in.”

    I’m someone who likes Robert and all I can say is his boot is almost as inevitable as Melinda’s was this past week. His only real hope is somehow managing not to be in the bottom three this week, and short of him dancing in a thong (because of the censors) with his phone number written on his chest and then leaving the stage immediately so as not to annoy anyone before they vote, he could literally be Baryshnikov at this point and would still be going home.

    I like the kid, but I agree with PM, he’s not in the bottom three because of his dancing. He just let his nerves take over his brain and acted like a fool.

  7. 7
    Moli Moli
    Posted July 6, 2010 at 4:49 pm

    I hope what was previously written aka rambled comment was understandable. Rushing while working and surfing is not always an easy task.

    Robert was going home.-Oh no Robert is in the bottom 3, he’s going home! I didn’t think they would let another female go home this week.

    I can understand the rest of my comment;). Thank goodness I’m not alone in liking Robert. I wonder if his point blank goofiness is a result of his being ONLY 18(and looks 30) and knowing he has to ham up for the camera. If it were one or the other it would be acceptable, together we have ugh….Robert of SYTYCD. Please B3…..Adechike, Jose and maybe Billy*on hands and knees* BTW, WTF went wrong in the opening performance? I had no idea what was going where it was going how it planned to get there! I know my dance knowledge is limited to whatever I payed attention to on this show since season 1. But, goodness why do many different types of dance in one routine. Or was he trying to show he was versatile hmmmmm like Tyce’s Broadway that is never quite Broadway…….*snickering* I wonder what he thought that style was

  8. 8
    fire@will
    Posted July 6, 2010 at 7:19 pm

    Good recap! I couldn’t really notice the dancing in the opening… I was so aghast at the costumes. Had to look hard to tell the girls from the guys. Neither gender had falttering clothes.

  9. 9
    chibby
    Posted July 6, 2010 at 7:51 pm

    I am definitely not getting the Jose love or the Robert love or the Adechike love. It’s been pretty much a little too late for all 3 for me. I’m still on the fence with Lauren, thought she is slowly growing on me. Loving Alex, Ashley & Billy. Maybe Kent.
    Also, come ONNnnnnn… Jose skating by with Oh you’re bad but you’re just too darn adorable so we’ll give you a pass AGAIN is getting on my nerves. Judges, please give out valid criticism to every body and not just the select few. And don’t be so harsh on Billy!

  10. 10
    georgiababe
    Posted July 7, 2010 at 1:43 am

    In response to Moli – Chris and Marquis both left early in their seasons – unfairly, in my opinion. Marquis left in the second week of Season 4 and Chris left in the third week, after being saddled with a terrible African jazz routine with Comfort. It was beyond awful and I felt bad for him, because he is a good dancer, but he was one of those people who was pretty much guaranteed to be booted right away.

    Also – I LOVE army numbers. One of my favorite dances that I ever did was a tap army number and, as you can imagine, the precise, hard and crisp movement required by a group of soldiers can be transformed very quickly and easily into some super clean tapping.

    I couldn’t stand Melinda but I agree, the girl can tap. And I also predict Robert’s departure next week, although I do like him.

  11. 11
    Stacy Perry
    Posted July 7, 2010 at 6:58 am

    Man, that opening number really was awful! But the Viva Elvis thing was completely awesome. I even liked Ne-Yo’s performance, though it did seem to go on forever. I badly want some lingerie like those girls were wearing.

  12. 12
    bambinoitaliano
    Posted July 7, 2010 at 2:37 pm

    If this is So You Think You Got Personality, perhaps Jose can win. I Said perhaps because Kent will give him the rent of his money. Russell win over Jacob last year is precisely what the judges weere doing here this season. First come the talent then the personality. Jose does not even hold a candle to any of his current competitiors. As a Hip Hopper or Street Dancer, he is not even close to any of the past season top 20. I just do not get the show trying to recreate the Rocky type story.The underdog that eventually take the top prize. It’s so insulting to the other real talents on the show. Seriously, this is not Twilight franchise, stop luring those brain death voters to skew the competition. If they make it a personality contest, and you think the rating is dropping, the show is going to lose credibility and lose more viewers who actually appreciate talented dancers. At this rate I rather have Mary Murphy screaming her tamale train than the bablbing idiot of Mia Michael. She is a talented choreographer but she should not be talking in front of the tv camera. I miss Wade and Shane. This is what happen when they screw up a perfectly good formular.

  13. 13
    Tommy Girl
    Posted July 7, 2010 at 5:11 pm

    Your comment about Cat’s hair was exactly what I thought when I saw her! Hilarious. It was a no brainer that Melinda was going – why did Mia and Adam have to be so mean? It’s all about America and their votes but sometimes the judges sway their votes with these uncalled for comments. Boo, hiss. Miss Mary!

  14. 14
    John Bender
    Posted July 8, 2010 at 3:37 am

    “The Garden” means more Courtney dancing in lingerie on my TV screen, which is always a good thing.

    @bambinoitaliano: I, for one, do NOT miss anything about that damn Hot Tamale Train/Warm Burrito Bus. That being said, I never hated the judges’ comments section of the show more than I do this season.

  15. 15
    PottyMouth PottyMouth
    Posted July 8, 2010 at 4:23 am

    Moli: I love “The Garden” too. Never ever get tired of watching. NEVER.

    Mooshie: I don’t think the type of workout I’d want with Wolverine is covered in this auction. I wonder if I could just watch him work out. Mmmmmmmmmmmm.

    s-k-s: I agree that the girls should be safe for a while. Robert may not go home if he’s in the bottom again. He judges love him and it seems like the other choreographers do too based on his placement in group numbers. I can see them keeping him for a while.

    cattyfan: LOL about Melinda dancing to the beat of her own drum. And great minds think alike (well after my dirty mind gets its thoughts out of the way!); ice tea sounds like a lovely accompaniment to Wolverine sweat. Mmmmmmmmm.

    rubberduck1810: “I’m hoping for one of those to be a Tyce number about AIDS” LMFAO! It would be so great if SYTYCD could bring attention to that unknown subject the way they did to the obscure disease of breast cancer, wouldn’t it?

    vallegirl: I don’t even think dancing in a thong will save him. The kid is definitely doomed…..doomed……doomed.

    Moli: I don’t know what that opening number was supposed to be either. Whatever he was trying to do, he failed. Miserably.

    fire@will: Oh, the costumes! What the hell! The girls looked like they had air conditioning filters around their necks, and were the boys wearing tights for sleeves?????

    chibby: Hopefully the judges will start giving Jose SOME critique. After all, the kid is there to learn, no?

    georgiababe: I’ve been in one of those military tap numbers too! So fun! I also love stepping, so that routine was a win/win for me.

    Stacy Perry: You lost me at liking Ne-Yo, although at least he and his backup dancers can dance unlike most o the other musical guests we get here.

    bambinoitaliano: Mia may be a bitch but she is not making me miss Mary AT ALL. My ear drums are finally starting to recover from years of her rupturing them! I do however miss Wade and Shane.

    Tommy Girl: Exactly. Their comments could have caused people to rally and vote for Melinda. Which is why I don’t like the over gushing either. It can make people think someone is safe and then not vote for them.

    John Bender: You can oogle Courtney while I gape at Mark. Although Courtney is some hot stuff in that routine. I completely agree about the judges comments this year.

    Thanks everyone for reading and commenting!

    SWAK, PottyMouth

  16. 16
    Moli Moli
    Posted July 8, 2010 at 8:14 am

    PM, I’m bursting at the seams over here…….there is so much to talk about from last night!!!!!!!

  17. 17
    Snootchy Bootches
    Posted July 8, 2010 at 8:48 am

    The Garden was really beautiful. I missed a season and a half of the show, and that was aired during that time.

  18. 18
    leslilly
    Posted July 9, 2010 at 5:44 am

    Moli: I’m with you! I am DYING to discuss this week’s performance and results shows.

    SPOILER ALERT*****************
    I am SO effing glad that you guys were wrong about Robert! That said, what a sad results show :( …. For me, it’s at the point now where I’m fond of all the “kids”, so it’s getting more difficult.

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