Eleven have been chosen……they have left home and family on a quest……..along the way they will face challenges unlike any other……Nigel’s disgusting boners………Adam’s tears and possible man love……Mary’s screaming Mia’s granola crunchiness and assorted backhanded compliments…..some will rise to the top…….others will fall. But in the end.
There can be only one.
Okay, I know, there can really be six, errr, seven. Welcome! To So You Think You Can Dance (dance……..dance)!
Continuing the tradition started last year, tonight’s show will be a performance show with no eliminations so that the top eleven can have a chance to show us their stuff before working for our votes next week.
But before we get started on tonight’s performances, we have to take a quick look at Cat’s outfit. She seems to have created a new style of clothing.
I predict the hippie-flapper look will be all the rage by 2020!
Let’s start off with a group number, shall we? This one is danced to “Fame” by David Bowie (LOVE) and choreographed by Wade and Amanda Robson.
Ummm……I am so happy right now. You all know how much I love Wade, right? Well, this definitely isn’t his strongest piece of all time, but I loved it anyway. I really liked how he played with the two groups: All Stars and contestants. I am in my happy place right now.
Cat says if we’ve been watching the auditions we already know who the top eleven are, but who are the All Stars? According to Cat they are the most popular dancers to ever appear on the show. Lies!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know of a couple at least that happen to be some of the most UNPOPULAR dancers to have been on the show.
Alright, I lied. What’re you gonna do about it?
Oh, Cat. I am so disappointed in you. Cat reminds us that they’ve changed the format this year. Each week a newbie will be paired with an All Star, then we’ll (you’ll) vote and the bottom dancers will be up for elimination.
She also wants us to know they’re in Hi Def now so you can get super nauseous from all that horrible camera work instead of only slightly green about the gills. Yay HD!
At the judges table this season will be Adam Shankman, Mia Michaels and Nigel Lythgoe. Yep, Mia’s back and Mary’s out. My eardrums thank whoever made that decision.
Nanny nanny boo boo.
First to dance will be Lauren Froderman and Kent Boyd. But before we get to any dancing, Cat tells us they have given each of the contestants eleven seconds (get it? eleven?) to tell us what they think we should know about them. Ready? Set? Go!
I’m Lauren Froderman, I’m sexy! I’m cute! I’m popular to boot. I’m bitchin, great hair, I like to stick my ass in the air!
Also, she’s from Phoenix, just graduated from high school and is ready to take on the world and So You Think You Can Dance. Lauren runs out of time before she can share anything else with us.
What will Kent tell us in his eleven seconds?
Awwww, shucks. Golly Gee Willikers. Baby Jesus.
Also? Kent’s single.
Their All Stars?
They will be performing a jazz piece choreographed by Travis Wall.
Wow. Mark and Kathryn totally dominated in that routine. And herein lies a big issue I have with bringing in these All Stars. With some of them (like Mark, Kathryn, Pasha and others) I just know that my eye is going to be inevitably drawn to them. And the performances should not be about them.
Ugh. At the end of the day, it really doesn’t matter what I think because the changes are already there; I’m just going to have to deal with it. I just really think this season’s contestants are getting shortchanged a little bit.
As far as the number goes, I really liked it. It was something unexpected from Travis. In fact, I would have thought it was choreographed by Sonya had Cat not told us that Travis created it.
Cat tells Travis they’re all so proud of him, and he says it’s crazy to him because four years ago he was the one up there dancing on that stage.
I like Travis a lot. I loved him on his season (he should have won, dammit), and I think he’s done some really good pieces for this show. I like that we’re watching him grow as a choreographer. He tells Cat this piece is set in 1920′s Paris, and it’s about the dark and twisted people that come out at night to celebrate the fall of an empire.
We don’t have time for that though because Cat wants to know if it’s true that Kent is single. Yeeeeeah. Ideal woman? “Someone like my mom. Or Beyonce.” Uh. Okay. I like you kid but please don’t fuck that up this early in the season.
Cat wants to know what Adam thought of the routine. Okay, he’ll tell you, but first he has to say a couple of things. He tells Nigel it’s good to be back, welcomes Mia back to the show, and tells Travis how proud they all are of him. Only he goes on for longer and makes my fingers want to mute his ass.
And then he stands up and shouts out a big “YES!” for Kent and Lauren. He thinks Kent is going to get a lot of votes, and that Lauren was amazing in Vegas and is still amazing now. He does not address the fact that the All Stars outshone them in this routine. Whatever.
Up next are Alexie Agdeppa and Melinda Sullivan. What do we need to know about them?
I tried out four times and I was a Laker Girl! And I’ve tried to get on the show FOUR TIMES!!!! FOUR!
I am so cool you cannot even comprehend how cool I am.
Their All Stars will be……
I saw her in Louis Van Amstel’s Ballroom With A Twist and (unsurprisingly) she was fan-fucking-tastic!
BARF. PUKE. BARF AGAIN.
Together they will be dancing a Broadway routine choreographed by Sir BitchyPants, performed to “There’s Gotta Be Something Better Than This” from Sweet Charity. Oh, I love this number! Let’s hope Sir BitchyPants doesn’t fuck it up completely.
Wow. I didn’t hate that number. That’s rare in a Sir BitchyPants Broadway routine. Write it down people!
Cat makes sure to tell us that this week Sir BitchyPants has worked with J Lo and Tom Cruise. Umm…..good for him? Did he also watch Katie dance horribly some more?
She asks him what it was like working with the newbies and All Stars. Absolutely fantastic. He thinks they brought such brilliant work to the stage. Sweet Charity is like a legacy…..Shirley MacLaine, Paula Kelly, and Chita Rivera. He says they’re passing on something more than just dance steps. And then I stabbed myself in the face to make it stop.
Nigel says that sometimes he couldn’t tell the difference between who was an All Star and who was a competitor, which is actually a pretty good compliment, if you agree with him. He does say that one thing that Alexie and Melinda are lacking that Allison and Lauren (BARF) have is the fire. The magic in their eyes.
Next time we’ll bring the lighter fluid and matches!
There’s only one b-boy this season, Jose Ruiz. What do we need to know about him?
What’s up? I’m Jose Ruiz. I have awesome cheekbones, and have gotten rid of the pimples that plagued me during Vegas week. I’m humble but confident, and I’m smoov and explosive so don’t stand behind me cause I will blow you away.
Jose gets three, count em, three All Stars….
Thank god he left those stupid glasses at home
Who knows just how badly you can get fucked by not getting the right partner
Oh shit. Anyone wanna guess how many minutes until he starts humping Cat’s leg?
They will be performing a hip hop number choreographed by Tabitha and Napoleon. Oh, hell yes! Their music is “Din Daa Daa” by George Kranz! I love that!
Okay. You know what? I really liked that number, but I couldn’t help but ponder what Shane Sparks would have done with these four dancers. Just take a minute, think about it, and then mourn the fact that we will probably not get to see one of his routines on our televisions again. Anyone have an update on his legal issues?
Back to this routine. Tabitha and Napoleon did a fairly good job here. I just wish it had been even harder hitting. I think these guys could have delivered even more. Jose is a little rough around the edges, but he held his own here. Nice job all around.
And in no time at all….
He’s back to feeling Cat up again. I wish she would just smack him.
Tabitha tells Jose that they are so proud of him. She says it’s not easy to step on the stage with these three guys; it can be intimidating, but he didn’t let that get to him and he worked really, really hard. This performance was about initiation into the So You Think You Can Dance family, “And welcome. You have arrived.” Aww, that was sweet.
He is beaming which prompts Cat to tell him that he has the most delicious smile on the planet.
He is a cutie pie, isn’t he?
Adam has created some of the most successful hip hop movies. What did he think? Well……first of all he’s really excited to see how the whole Cat/Dominic thing plays out. Oh, come on Adam! Don’t fucking encourage him!
He thinks Jose is fantastic and he is so happy that he’s here. He tells him it’s really important for him to bring performance each and every week. He’s so proud of him as well.
Ready for some Latin flavor? I sure hope so because Cristina is up next. What does she want us to know about her?
I’m a Salsa dancer from Mexico now living in San Diego. I go to college, I work, I teach Salsa, so please stop talking about how I gave Billy Bell a nosebleed last year, okay? Is no bueno.
Are you ready for Cristina’s All Stars?
Did it just get hot in here?
They’re teaming up to perform a hot Latin number choreographed by Jason Gilkison. Make sure to have your fire extinguishers close by!
Cristina seems like a sweet girl, but she is out of her league with these two. I mean, come on! Pasha and Anya just smolder across that stage. Does anyone really stand a chance with them up there?
Of course I meant besides you, Hugh! Don’t be so insecure.
Jason admits that it’s not easy to choreograph a number for three people in ballroom, but he says when you have Pasha and Anya they are fantastic. He also gives Cristina a WOW, and calls her amazing.
Nigel says that Pasha and Anya are two of the best Latin dancers in the world, not just on So You Think You Can Dance. So for Cristina to get up there, and then he never finishes that thought because he goes off on a tangent about how Jason has his fantasies come true.
I will barf on you, Nigel.
But in case you had any gay thoughts in your mind, Nigel makes sure to say that his fantasies are not about Pasha taking his shirt off. Yes, because you never remind us of what a perv you are for the girls Nigel. Now I have to go take a shower.
Now it’s time for Alex Wong and Billy Bell to dance. Both together? Holy Shit! My brain may overload on endolphins! What do Alex and Billy want us to know about them?
I am a golden god of dance! Watch for the judges to start being assholes to me in a couple of weeks. If they call me arrogant, PottyMouth will drive to L.A. and bust a cap in someone’s ass.
I’m so good they added an extra spot for me. Suck on that, Wong!
Such a dirty mouth, Billy. Tsk, tsk. Their All Stars are is
Yay! Maybe he’ll get to do more than just lifts this time around.
These guys are dancing a contemporary piece choreographed by the great and wonderful Oz Mia. She is the only one that gets to say anything about her piece before the dancers perform. She tells us that for her right now time is a very heightened thing, and the journey of life from being a child, to a man in his prime, to an old man, it’s just a very precious thing for her right now, and that’s what this is about. Get it? Me either. Let’s go!
I really wish I could have seen this number live. Or just full on the entire time. I have a feeling that the camera work really fucked this one up because we never really got to see what they were all doing. Ugh! It’s frustrating to me! They really need to hire cameramen who know how to shoot dance sequences.
From what I could see, it looks like they all did a good job, I’m just really annoyed about the editing of this number.
Cat asks Alex what he’s learned from the All Stars. He says they’ve told them to enjoy it while it’s here because it goes by so fast. Hey! That’s just like the theme of this dance! What a coinky dink!
Mia says that usually the choreographer is going to be the toughest critic, picking and picking, but she just tells them that it was an honor. She tells Ade it’s amazing to have him on this stage again, even if he hasn’t aged well (hardy har har).
She goes on, telling Billy he is a freak of nature. The things he does with his body, she has never seen in all the years of her experience. She then turns her attention to Alex, calling him a stallion, powerful, a beast. She says now they both have to take those things and translate them into all the different styles.
Hopefully we’ll get to see them dance together again n the finale!
We’ve got one more dance left, and this one brings Adechike, Ashley, and Robert to the stage. What should we know about them?
I am NEVER tap dancing again!
You’ve barely seen me at all! I sure as shit hope I get an awesome dance next week or I may be one of the first to go!
Admit it! You hated me just a little when you thought I took Billy Bell’s spot. Don’t worry, I sort of hated myself for a minute there too.
Which All Stars did they get?
Has he learned how to keep his shoulders down yet?
Can someone please get me a pair of scissors so I can cut her fucking bangs?!?
They will be dancing a Sonya Tayeh jazz number to “Freak” by Estelle.
If you love Sonya’s choreography you probably loved this, if you don’t, well then obviously you didn’t. I for one happen to really like Sonya as a choreographer. I think she explores some really interesting movement. Really, my only issue with her is that there are a few moves I think she over uses, but in general, I really like what she did here.
Sonya is whooping it up over at the judges table, and Robert says something about her screaming during rehearsals. Shhhh, dude. Less is more.
Sonya would like to explain why. Wanna hear it? Too bad. She knows how difficult dance is, and she knows what she expected of a dancer and what she’s strived to create as an artist is the theory of fighting and pushing for mdaksndfNDFKEI:SFNHifenhindhcslx<Xx. Oh, sorry. I must have dozed off there.
Do you want me to go over it again?
Oh no thanks! Really! I think we’ve all got the gist of it.
And that’s it for tonight’s show! That went quickly, didn’t it? I have to say, I did enjoy the All Stars (well, most of them) in this format. It still doesn’t change the way I feel about adding them into the competition, but I guess I’m just going to have to get over it and move on. Don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll have PLENTY more to say about it as the season progresses!
What did you think, Gasmi? Any favorite routines? Dancers? Anyone you were over the moon to see back again? Anyone make you want to barf?
I’m heading off on vacation in just a few hours, so unfortunately I will not be here to recap next week’s first round of competition. What was I thinking?!?!?!? Don’t get your knickers in a twist though! Flipit has gotten someone to cover for me. A mystery newbie. I’m excited to see what they do with the show next week!
I’d like to say I’ll be thinking about you while I’m lying on the sand in Bermuda, but honestly, I think I’ll be a little too busy.
Swimming? Why, I’d love to!
Be good! See you in two weeks! I can’t wait to catch up with you all then!