Tonight brings us more dancing! NO Mark! (bastards). Stories of inspiration. And yet another overly dramatic opening monologue from Cat! This! Is So You Think You Can Dance (dance…..dance)!
Hey. Did you know we’re live and there are only three girls left? I wish Cat would give us some helpful information instead of regurgitating what we already know?
Like how DO you fashion a dress out of leftover gift wrap?
Cat seems to have learned a new word just for tonight. Erudite. But I’m wondering if she really knows what it means since she uses it to describe each of the three judges. I think better words might have been sycophant, raging bitch, and pervert extraordinaire. Ah well, potatoes, potahtoes.
This week we’re treated yet again to witnessing the completely random and not at all producer influenced all star pick. The all stars themselves are not present for it this week. Instead, we’ll be treated to a little snippet of their dancing with whatever genre they’ve got in subtitles. I love the consistency on this show, don’t you?
Anyway, Lauren picks Neil, and they’ve got Broadway. My stomach immediately rolls over in anticipation of yet another Fosse-esque crapfest from Sir BitchyPants. Melinda picks Pasha and Salsa. I imagine Cristina sitting at home watching this and cursing out Mia and Adam.
Billy’s up next and he picks Kathryn and contemporary. Wow. Jackpot for Billy. Ashley picks Ade and contemporary, and for the first time ever in seven seasons I actually believe that the pick might be random. Don’t worry, it passes. But…..ANOTHER contemporary for Ashley? My prediction: next week she dances a waltz.
Robert and his goofy face pick Courtney and Jazz. Again. Jose picks Anya and a Samba, and his face just says it all.
Kent gets Allison and jazz. I predict more comments about getting eaten alive. Poor Adechike. Poor, poor Adechike. He has to dance with the devil.
Look! Even the toxic donuts are afraid of her.
They’ll be dancing hip hop. I don’t even know what to say. Alex is the last to pick, and he gets Twitch. He is confused. So am I considering there is another female all star that is a hip hop specialist. Obviously they will be doing hip hop. Where is Mark you ask? Off for the night. Booooooooo. Well, at least we have Pasha for shirtless consolation.
We’re starting off the dancing tonight with Adechike. Who has inspired him? Desmond Richardson.
Yowza. I’m feeling a little inspired myself.
Adechike and Lauren will be choreographed by Dave Scott who tells us that we will be having fun. Oh sure, it’s all fun and games until the devil steals your soul. Adechike tells us he already has a crush on her. Poor Adechike. So young, and already damned for all eternity.
I’m guessing they’re supposed to be straight-laced office workers who like to get funky after five. As much as I’d love to say I hate it because She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is in it, I have to admit, it was a fun number. Adechike looked like he was having a great time dancing it, and of course the devil was whoring it up for the camera as usual.
It wasn’t a mind blowing routine, but it was obvious they were having a good time dancing it, and that made it fun to watch. It was nice to see Adechike having a good time.
Nigel thinks Dave Scott has brought something out in Adechike that hasn’t been there so far in the competition: his personality, swagger and confidence. This is a different Adechike than he’s seen so far in the competition.
Mia says all of a sudden it’s shifted for him. She doesn’t know if it’s Dave or the devil or what, but she’s happy to see that there is some sunshine in there. Yay. Just Yay. Adam? Any thoughts?
And then he stands up to clap. Oh for fucks sake, really Adam? Really? Shut. It.
Cat talks to Adechike about what has made the difference this week. Dave and the devil. What a revelation! And then the devil says he’s had it in him this whole time and just not been able to show it. Gah! Why is she talking? Now I have to wash my ears out with holy water.
Up next is Ashley. She is inspired by her dance teacher. Without her she wouldn’t be the dancer she is today. Isn’t that part of being the dance TEACHER?
Ashley and Ade will be working with a new choreographer, Dee Caspary. He’s danced with Paula Abdul and Tiffany and was on the TV show Kids Incorporated. Hah! I loved that show!!!
The story of this routine is that Ashley is broken and unable to stand or move on her own. Ade is her backbone. Ashley says they really need to come together and dance as one.
Whoa. I really loved this routine. Ashley is BY FAR the best girl left in the competition (not that there’s a lot to choose from at this point), and I’ve always really liked Ade. The lifts were gorgeous (or gorgois), and I thought Ashley and Ade had a great connection. She has some beautiful lines. Now all we need is for her to get something other than contemporary (or contemporary pretending to be jazz). Hopefully next week she’ll get a hip hop or cha cha and knock it out of the park.
Nigel first bitches that she got contemporary again. That’s so valid because we all know how the contestants control the random picks. He then qualifies his complaint, saying she was a completely different dancer than he’s seen over the last few weeks. She’s developed so much.
What’s your bra size now?
He thinks she had a beautifully smooth fluidity in her dancing; the steps didn’t get in the way. She just danced. He compares her dancing to a glass of scotch or honey, and she says it felt nice to just let go.
Let’s move on to Mia’s nonsensical notes, shall we? First, what does she think about Dee? “Ewww.” But not the way you or I think when we say ewww. When Mia says ewww she means amazing. But she’s not done. She follows it up with a “Wow. Okay. Wow. Okay.” I don’t know about you, but she’s lost me with all this technical terminology.
So if I call you amazing, does it really mean Ewww? You’re Amazing. With a capital E.
Mia loves the concept of being able to let go and someone being there to catch you. She starts to get choked up a little here, and I think it’s because of everything she just went through with her mom. The piece hit home for her on an emotional level.
She says Ashley was like a purple wind blowing through the theater. It was a hurricane and a summer breeze and it was everything. Mia says she’s a cut above the other female dancers (all two of them) and still her favorite.
Adam tells her she is breathtaking. He also thinks it was one of the best female contemporary performances he’s seen on this show in any season. And I totally believe him because he never says that to anyone. Like Ever. Except for at least once a week.
The judges have blown so much smoke up our collective asses over the past six seasons about this or the other performance being The Best Evah, that it has no meaning anymore when they say it. It’s lost any impact it would have by their overuse.
Now it’s time for the first solo of the evening. It’s Billy!
The judges aren’t commenting after the solos (YAY), so Cat goes right into the numbers. I think Billy did a good job doing what he does best. The kid has great musicality and insane lines, and showed them off well. Now he just needs to dance his ass off in his partnered routine.
Next up is Robert who tells us his inspiration is his mom. He then goes on to tell us about how his mom has survived divorce, miscarriages, and two babies dying in her arms. Yeah. I can’t make fun of that. Oh my god! He’s not even done there! He also tells us she’s fought breast cancer.
He and Courtney will be dancing jazz with Sonya who tells us her goal is for the world to see how dynamically beautiful Robert is. She want them to know how crazy they were for putting him in the bottom. Yeah, I don’t think he got there because of his dancing, Sonya.
Eh. The dancing was good, but I still don’t like him. He’s got this really annoying habit of pulling faces when he dances, almost like gaping fish faces, if you know what I mean. At one point I though he was talking to Courtney, but then realized he was doing the fish face thing again. I have to be honest here, I think I’ve already reached the point of no return with him. No matter how well he dances, I can’t see myself liking him; he’s this season’s Kayla for me.
The good news is that I think someone told him to tone down his antics. The bad news is the damage has already been done.
Nigel thinks sometimes Sonya’s choreography doesn’t suit certain dancers, but it suits Robert, just like it suited Mark. Did he just compare Robert to Mark? I think that may be blasphemy.
Robert is not even close to Mark, in my mind. I think in reality his technique is better than Mark’s, but that was never what made Mark so awesome to watch. Mark has a quality to his performance, and a commitment to that performance that Robert doesn’t even come close to. It’s what made people love Mark even though he was by no means the strongest dancer of his season.
Anyway, Nigel loved the routine. Mia would like him to take ballet. She thinks it will refine him and ground him and give his movement weight. Wow, a coherent (and helpful) comment from Mia! But wait! There’s more! “The choking was everything.”
Will you choke me later?
Adam thinks he’s a great dancer. He thinks Robert really nailed the punctuation in the stops. He says Robert needs to use his plie more, and when he jumps, he needs to not jump down. Robert immediately gets what he’s saying, as do I.
It’s something you learn in dance about jumps and leaps, even moreso when you learn partnering. It should be as if you’re being pulled upward by an invisible string, which is what makes those jumps look effortless. If you watch someone like Danny you can see it; his leaps are powerful, and he looks almost weightless, whereas you feel the inevitable downward motion of Robert’s leaps. I hope that made sense.
Time for Jose’s solo.
He’s not the most impressive b-boy we’ve seen on this show, but he still continues to be adorable. I don’t know how or why, but this kid has charmed me. That said, he’s definitely the weakest dancer in the competition and I think he’ll be going home the minute he hits the bottom three.
Melinda is up next, and she has been inspired by her mentor, Harold Cromer, who we met when she found out she made it on to the show. He seems like a pretty cool old dude, and it does make me wonder what he sees in her that we’re not seeing. She can’t be all bad, right?
Anyway, Melinda will be dancing a salsa with Pasha choreographed by Fabian Sanchez. Melinda tells us she’s Columbian, so she’s done the salsa before and is comfortable with it.
Oh, where to begin? Okay, let’s start first with the dress getting caught in her shoe. Remember last year when the same thing happened to Ellenore and she danced with her dress stuck in the shoe until it came unstuck on its own? This is less impressive. Although to be fair to Melinda, I don’t think that she could have danced with her shoe stuck in her dress, so she had to get it out of there.
This salsa was not spicy at all. I think the big issue with Melinda is that she can’t just let go and trust her partner. Maybe it’s because as a tapper she only has to rely on herself. In this (and every other dance), I can see her holding back, not giving over control to her partner whether it be in simply letting him lead, or in trusting him for their partnering moments. She stiff and uptight, and I’m surprised that she hasn’t gotten hurt at all.
Nigel thinks she looks fabulous, but he doesn’t feel the fluidity of her movement. It feels like she’s doing a step into a step into a step. He questions her musicality, not knowing whether or not it was what she was given in this piece, or a problem with her own musicality; he doesn’t know if she feels the music.
Mia says she danced as hard as she could, but says there were moments that felt like she had bricks on her legs and was trying to stay afloat. And then…..Mia says she feels like they made a mistake keeping Melinda last week. Really, Mia? Was that necessary? I mean, I don’t even like the girl and I thought that was completely out of line.
And then…..Adam agrees! What a jackass. And a bitch. For chrissakes, own your fucking decision you assholes! Ugh, I can’t even listen to anything else he has to say because I think what they both did here was out of line and SOOOOO unnecessary. And I wanted her gone last week!
Let’s move on before I go off on a tirade about professionalism, shall we? It’s time for Kent’s solo.
This solo is interesting for me. I think the choreography of it isn’t that great, but man, when this kid leaps? WOW. This is exactly what I was talking about before about making it seem effortless. Love the leaps. Now he just needs to put them together better with the rest of his solo.
Alex is up next with his solo.
AWESOME! I mean, did you have any doubts?
It’s Lauren’s turn for her partnered dance, but first….who inspires her? She tells us it’s her student council adviser, but I think the woman also might coach Lauren’s cheer squad because she’s wearing a cheerleading sweatshirt. My theory is that Lauren wanted to acknowledge her without reminding us that she’s a cheerleader. I know, I have nothing better to do with my time than come up with these theories.
Lauren and Neil’s Broadway number will be choreographed by Joey Dowling. Yay. I guess. I mean, I’m happy it’s not Sir BitchyPants, but I’m not a fan of Joey’s either. I absolutely hated that hack routine she choreographed for Evan and Randi. Where the hell is Spencer Liff?
The story of the routine is that Neil is a paperboy reading the paper and daydreaming about an actress he sees in the paper. Did I mention he’s reading the newspaper? Joey tells us that because this is a daydream, Lauren and Neil can be overdramatic. As opposed to their usual low key performances.
Whoa, halfway through that number we got a wardrobe malfunction! I have to hand it to both Lauren and Neil that they managed to keep her boob from falling out and didn’t miss a step in the performance. Very nicely done. I also have to say that Joey put together a good Broadway number here. I actually enjoyed it! Joey, I didn’t know you had it in you!
Nigel is of course all about Lauren’s boob and the lack of it popping out. We all know his boner has popped up to say hello, and of course both of them thoroughly enjoyed the routine. He thinks it worked out very well in the end.
Portrait of a perv
Mia thought it was a great piece and danced really well, but she wanted a little more slinkiness. She thinks that as an athletic female dancer Lauren needs to work harder to have a little bit more of a feminine quality. And then she says she wanted a little bit more about fifteen more times. I think what she’s trying to say is that she wanted more.
Adam wants her to think of herself as dancing through water. He then goes on to say that she reminded him of a young Cyd Charisse. Are you fucking kidding me, Adam?!?!?!?! Seriously? I think he may have smoked some crack before this show. I don’t even know what to say about that. I think he needs to get his ass over to You Tube and watch some videos of her dancing.
Let’s leave Adam with his crack induced delusions and move on to Ashley’s solo.
This solo is just meh for me. I think Ashley is a really good dancer, but the solo doesn’t really show that off enough. I find myself wishing that this wasn’t the last impression she was leaving us with tonight.
Billy’s turn. He tells us his inspiration was Legacy, except he didn’t know it was actually Legacy until they met last season. He saw him performing when he was twelve and then started taking hip hop. How cool is that?
He’s dancing with Kathryn tonight, and being choreographed by Stacey Tookey. She tells us the story for this routine is that Billy has broken Kathryn’s heart, and now, just as she’s starting to get over him, he wants her back.
I think they did a great job here. Billy looks great, as usual, and Kathryn is just phenomenal. Yet again, she steals a routine. In fairness to Billy, I think Stacey gave Kathryn more of an emotional journey in this piece, and she just ran with it. He did a good job, don’t get me wrong, but my eyes kept going to Kathryn.
Oh, and for those of you keeping tabs…..Legacy is there again in the audience. I’m still saying it’s because he lurves Kathryn. Other explanations? Don’t care to hear ‘em.
Nigel says that Billy is a brilliant dancer and a brilliant soloist, but he thinks he needs to learn how to partner. He didn’t quite believe the partnership. He says that Billy needs to figure out the acting and performance side with someone else there.
Mia thinks that sometimes he gets so caught up in the technique that we lose him, Baby B. That’s who he is to her in this competition. I’m sure he loves her calling him a baby. Don’t worry though, baby or not, she respects him as an artist. Because using the word baby to describe someone is the ultimate way to show respect for them. Amazing.
Adam thinks he will see it all in playback. He thinks Billy is one of the most exciting thing to happen to dance in a really long time, but he needs to find that one element, and none of them can tell him how to do it.
Billy spends the critique looking like he’s about to cry. It’s not that he’s being a brat about the criticism, but I think he’s taking it (and last week’s) really hard. Somehow I think he’s more used to people gushing over him. I’m hoping he can shake it off and find the spark that will blow us all away because he’s certainly capable of it.
Robert’s solo is next.
It’s alright I guess. I’ve said it before, he’s just not doing it for me. He’s a good dancer, but I don’t enjoy watching him. I am glad to see that someone appears to have spoken to him about all the mugging for the camera because he has toned it down a lot.
From Robert we go over to Jose who tells us he has been inspired by Bruce Lee. That seems really appropriate for a breaker, doesn’t it? But it’s more than his moves that inspire Jose, it’s his philosophy on life.
He’ll be dancing a samba with Anya, choreographed by Dmitry. Oh Lord. I think this is going to be painful.
That actually wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. That having been said, it was still pretty bad from a technical point of view. I think Dmitry putting the table in there helped Jose a lot; it gave added support to some of the lifts, and cut down on the time he had to turn with Anya in his arms.
One thing I do think he did better than the other guys that danced with Anya so far was in his performance. I didn’t think he looked like a little boy dancing with a woman, where I did feel like that a little bit with the other guys. It’s another one of those performances where he bones it and the audience doesn’t even give a shit because they love him.
Nigel says that Dmitry not only brought out the man in Jose, but he’s now a member of the “I’ve lost the buttons on my shirt” club. Please. Aren’t all the guys this season a member of that club?
Nigel says to Jose that he’s not the best dancer on this show, but he has magic in his eyes and his smile. His dancing makes Nigel smile. Mia and Adam are both in the same boat; they know that he’s not great from a technical standpoint, and for the second week in a row none of them care. Normally I’d be screaming about this, but somehow, I’m not. I think Jose is spiking the nation’s water with something.
Time for Melinda’s solo.
I think I’ve said it all already with her; I don’t enjoy her solos, I don’t enjoy her dancing, I don’t enjoy her personality. I cannot imagine she won’t be in the bottom three.
Kent’s up next and his inspiration is his brother who is a youth pastor. I’m guessing he’s the one who put a good word in with Baby Jesus last week.
Kent will be dancing a Mandy Moore jazz routine with Allison. Mandy tells us this piece is all about strong dynamics, beautiful body lines, and instant chemistry. Just add water!
Oh Hugh, I didn’t mean that literally! Wait….never mind……continue.
Allison tells us Kent’s biggest challenge is being a man, not just acting like one. Wow, harsh words from Allison there. And this is coming from someone who spent most of her season partnered with Ivan! Kent’s hoping to grow some chest hair before the performance show.
I like Kent, but he got owned in that performance. He does have a lack of maturity in his dancing, and when performing with someone like Allison, that doesn’t help him at all. He did a good job, but to say he was overshadowed by his partner would be an understatement.
Nigel thinks Kent has a great personality, but he thinks he needs to be careful about keeping a sense of honesty in his work. Nigel thinks he likes to play to the crowd, which isn’t necessarily a terrible thing, EXCEPT for when it’s taking away from your connection to your partner. He says Kent needs to be careful because the viewers at home can be a bit turned off by that.
Mia agrees. She says he gets caught up in the television personality of it all rather than in the artistry. She doesn’t want to see the deer in the headlights look every week. She wants to see him. It felt a little like a competition dancer to her; not the choreography, his interpretation of it.
Adam thinks he’s one of the most hireable dancers they’ve ever had on the show, but tells him he needs to lose the hungry jazz face. I agree with that, but at the same time I’m annoyed because no one mentioned to Robert that he needed to lose his gaping fish face. Adam says he’s better than that, and he’ll see it in playback which is apparently Adam’s new catchphrase.
Adechike’s solo is next.
I’ve finally figured out what’s been bugging me about Adechike’s dancing; he leads with his head and neck. Throughout most of his routine his head and neck are pushed forward, and that’s disturbing the lines of his dancing for me. I actually enjoyed this solo when I wasn’t wanting to push his head back in line with his spine.
From Adechike we go to Lauren’s solo, which is the last of the night.
This is actually a nicely choreographed solo, and she dances it well. She’s still not my favorite, but she did a good job here.
Alright, it’s time for the last dance of the night. It’s Alex! But first, who inspires him? He tells us it’s Edward Villella. Hmmmm……if I was at all cynical I’d say he was saying that because it seems like there may be some hard feelings over him leaving Miami City Ballet. But that would only be if I was cynical, which you all know I’m certainly not.
Alex and Twitch will be dancing a Tabitha and Napoleon hip hop number. Tabitha says they were so excited to hear they had two guys……until they found out one of them was Alex.
Ballet dancer? I’ve got more swagger than him, YO!
There is much talk about how out of his element Alex is in this genre, and the glimpses we see have me worried for him. Tabitha wants the routine to be so Wong it’s right. Oh, Tabitha. I was saving that joke for later. Dang.
HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT. I loved this routine. I honestly did not think Alex had this in him, and I was so wrong. I loved every minute of this dance, and it makes me hope that Tabitha and Napoleon get more chances to choreograph routines for two guys (or two girls for that matter) so we can get away from their love story numbers and get more like this.
I loved how they incorporated some of the ballet moves, and the ending with Twitch mimicking Alex’s ballet movement was on the money. Alex may not have ht everything as hard as Twitch did, but he sure hung in there with him. All I can say is WOW.
The judges are all on their feet, and Alex looks overjoyed. Cat says she’s never heard a crowd reaction like this one. Nigel says let’s try to treat this like an ordinary routine even though it isn’t. He says this is the best routine Tabitha and Napoleon have ever done for the show, and thanks Twitch for validating their choice to add all stars to the show. For those that still don’t like it?
Idiot. I will say, this is the only thing so far that has made me like the all star format. I’ve always enjoyed the same sex partnerships in the finales because it adds yet another dynamic to the dancing. Do you need all stars for that? No. They could incorporate same sex routines into the seasons much earlier than the finales. But Nigel will justify his decisions whatever way he can. For once, I will skip my bitch session about the all star format.
Nigel can’t imagine that this routine won’t be up for an Emmy; I think he may be reaching a little bit there. Mia wants to know who the hell Alex is. She says he’s just defied everything about the ballet world. Don’t ask how, because she won’t tell you.
Adam says it’s Alex’s world and he’s just visiting. As he bows down to Alex. He thinks it was the best hip hop ever on this show. I think he thinks it was so great because it was so unexpected. And then…….Adm cries. Oh lord. Really?
Now, I think you all know how much I love Alex, right? But this is even a bit much for me. Yes, the routine was awesome. Yes, it was even more so because of how unexpected it was. But really? I mean, at this point maybe they should just unzip him and Nigel can suck his cock while Mia and Adam cup his balls and stick a finger up a ass, because I think that may be all that’s missing right now.
I’d love to!
Alex then starts talking, and someone please tell him to stop doing that because people (me) get annoyed by the contestant’s chatter. Just stand there and listen, you can never go wrong.
And so thus ends this week’s show. What did you think, Gasmi? Did your love of Alex’s dancing outweigh the dicksucking going on? Do you continue to be annoyed by Robert, even when he’s not mugging? What did you think about Mia and Adam backpedaling about their decision to keep Melinda?
I apologize for the delay in the recap this week; I had a little too much fun celebrating the fourth! I’m jumping right into the results recap, and will have it up for you as soon as possible. Until then…..