Recap: So You Think You Can Dance Results: J’accuse!!

Last night the Top 20 danced for our votes and tonight the results are in. Sucks to go through that entire audition process and have to go home the first night, but one boy and one girl gotta go. A solitary tear is dripping down my cheek right now. THIS is SoYouThinkYouCanDance!

We start the show with another of my favorite aspects of this show: the group numbers. Tonight’s was choreographed by Wade Robson and it looks like he was going for zombie go-go-dancers meets zombie-Fosse. It’s Rich Man’s Fugue from Sweet Charity. This number is choreographed really well for TV, and we get lots of camera movement, which makes the whole performance much more dynamic than if we were viewing a wide shot of the whole stage.

Spirit Fingers Court

Omg, I want Cat’s dress so badly. Also: a body that would look that good in that dress. Curses!

Same judges as last night: Nigel, Mary and Dan. Cat gets right down to business and calls out our first round of couples. Jamie and Hok are up first. Last night the judges loved Hok and thought Jamie did well, considering hip hop is not her style. They are safe. Anya and Danny did the Jive last night and the judges looooved it. Me too! Btw, Love the sweater, Danny!

Not even that body can make this sweater work.

Anya and Danny are safe, they leave the stage. Last in this group are Sabra and Dominic. They did the disco last night and it did not go over well with the judges. It’s no surprise that they must dance for their lives.

Cat has the second group ready on the stage as we return from commercial. Up first are Lacey and Kameron. In case you forgot, they danced a Mia Michael’s contemporary routine last night and were stupendous. AMERICA agreed and they are safe. Ashley and Ricky did not do so well last night in their Argentine Tango. Ashley towered over Ricky and they lacked chemistry. They are in the bottom three, and Nigel acknowledges that it was the show that paired them, and the height difference should have been taken into account in the choreography.

Sara and Jesus did a Wade Robson pop-jazz routine last night and Mary called it spectacular. Did AMERICA agree? Yes, of course. Finally in this group are Pasha and Jessi, who did a slow waltz last night. I freaking love that Pasha wore a tie to rehearsal. The judges loved them and so did AMERICA. They are safe. I give up.

Results time for the last group. Lauren and Neil are first. The night before they did a club salsa routine that received tepid response from the judges. Neil was ragged on by the judges for being gay (basically) and not into Lauren enough. AMERICA disagreed with the judges and Lauren and Neil are safe. Now it is down to Faina and Cedric and Shauna and Jimmy. Faina and Cedric danced a hip-hop routine, and Faina could not match Cedric’s technique or style. Shauna and Jimmy danced a Broadway routine that went over slightly better with the judges, though Nigel though Shauna looked fat in her dress, which, relevant. So who’s in the bottom? Faina and Cedric.

I gain a little respect for Faina when she looks excited to be dancing again that night. Mary thinks America got it wrong on this one, but I am completely unsurprised that they are here, because they just weren’t that good last night.

Before the commercials, Cat introduces someone who managed to avoid the bottom for all of last season: Benji Schwimmer. The audience goes bat-shit crazy! Cat and Benji small-talk a little before she asks him if he’d dance for us again. Right, like he just came out in red satin gloves for the hell of it. CLEARLY he’s going to dance. Also, what’s with the sideburns, Benji? Uggo!

It’s typical Benji, kicking and sliding all over the stage to that “Americano” song from The Talented Mr. Ripley. He hams it up to the max, but that’s why we love him. Um, something we don’t love: Benji pulling his pants down at the end of his routine to show his American flag underwear… WTF??

Proud, Tiny Packaged American

When we come back from commercial, it’s Sabra’s turn to dance for her LIFE. Sabra does her contemporary/lyrical thing, throwing in a no-handed cartwheel and showing us her beautiful extension all over the place. The “So you think you can dance dance dance…” plays her off and she joins Cat Deeley at the end of the stage. Okay, is Cat like 8 feet tall, or is Sabra a midget? Seriously, Sabra goes up to her shoulder!

I hope you win, Charna!

Dominic is up next, breaking to some Earth, Wind & Fire. Fun! He’s awesome, as usual, doing is shoulder flip/rotating handstand and manages to take his shirt off while spinning on his head. Incroyable! Lol, two nights in a row of Dominic’s nipples.

Ashley is dancing to Barbra Streisand, and if she can make it past this night, she officially has the gay vote. But it looks like she’s not going to make it because what kind of solo is that? She doesn’t put in any enticing moves, nary a pirouette or leap in sight. Snooze. And look at that, we’re going to see Ashley’s nipples as well. I guess it’s cold in there?

Ricky solos next and THIS is what a solo should be. He’s spinning and flipping to Jamiroquai, which, thanks to my never-ending love for the movie Center Stage, is the only music I find appropriate for ballet dancing now. Well, Jamiroquai and Mandy Moore. Bravo, Ricky! We’d like to offer you a place in the company.

You’re hired!

Now it’s Faina’s turn to solo. We all know she’s incredible at what she does, and this solo is no exception. She’s dancing to Christina Aguilera’s “Ain’t No Other Man” and wearing a teeney weeney dress and looks AMAZING. Her dancing is great too, all leggy and full of attitude.

Cedric is the last one to solo, and like Dominic, he sticks to his breaking tricks. The kiss-up, he’s dancing to a Wade Robson song, which I guess is why its so perfect for his brand of breaking. Seriously, how does he get his body to move that way?

Cat sends the judges backstage to deliberate, and they’re all sure to bring their cups o’ alcohol back with them. (I don’t really know that, but that’s the only reason I can think of that explains the outcome… at least on the male side.)

And now it’s time for our corporate-sponsored performance by Lloyd! I got excited because Cat shouts his name like Ari Gold and I thought for a moment it would be everyone’s favorite Gaysian out there singing and dancing which would be AWESOME, but no, it’s not. It’s the Lloyd who “sang” the song Faina and Cedric danced to last night. Seriously, dude, you’re on TV. Use the magic of television and get a backup track, because we can all hear how out of breath you are. Fast forwarding…

Now this I would have watched.

Ha, LOL, in the interview afterwards, Cat tells Lloyd Faina and Cedric danced to that exact song last night. “How’d they do?” He asks. Good to know you have not been paying attention AT ALL, Lloyd.

It’s decision time. Starting with the girls, the judges thought Sabra danced the best she’s ever danced tonight, truly embodying the spirit behind “dancing for her life.” She’s staying. The judges thought Faina showed great style and she, too, is staying. Ashley was a great dancer, Mia loves her, but she didn’t show enough in her solo.

Later, loser! This year’s goodbye girl song is the less patronizing “I Will Remember You.” We see her greatest moments clips and this is more than we’ve seen of Ashley, like, ever.

Now for the boys. Nigel found this decision very difficult as each of these boys has a unique style. Nigel calls Ricky forward first, telling him he has the potential to be one of the best dancers this year, but didn’t show it tonight in his solo. LIE. Nigel sends him back to the line. This does not look good. Nigel calls Cedric forward and tells him he is unique and actually did not let his partner down last night, much to Nigel’s surprise. Cedric is safe, and he can’t wait to get off that stage. Dominic brings “another side” to the competition, and though Nigel is worried he will always be doing the same tricks to save himself, the judges think Dominic has a wonderful personality, so he is staying! WTF?!?!?!

I CANNOT BELIEVE Ricky is going home. He’s freaking incredible!! Ricky just doesn’t make good TV ’cause he’s such a creeper. J’accuse, show. Call me a snob, but I think the classically trained Ricky should have stayed over Dominic or Cedric. His clips just remind me how great he really was. Except in that tango. Tear, bye loser!

Does anyone else find it suspect that the show so poorly matched this pair that were the first booted tonight?