Recap: So You Think You Can Dance Results: The Return of the Man-Skirt

As the title states, tonight we get the return of the man-skirt, thanks to Pasha’s Paso Doble. Take note NEIL, this is how you get ladies’ votes. Not by dancing some pussy solo to Maroon 5. Anyways, the results show has a Matrix themed group number, solos from everyone, tears and fears. Welcome to SoYouThinkYouCanDance!

The opening number this week is to “Get Up” by Ciara. Everybody’s in the future? I think? And they’re all dressed in gray, except Lauren who’s in a get-up strait out of The Matrix. Everyone’s got unfortunate gray bronzer underneath their cheekbones, but the dance itself is pretty cool.

Cat emerges in a sparkly black cocktail dress that I LOVE. Her hair is up in a huge bun, in a very Carrie Bradshaw way. Cat compliments “Shady” Shane Sparks, who choreographed the opening number. He’s accepts the praise from his seat in the audience where he is wearing women’s sunglasses. Seriously, what man wears sunglasses with rhinestones?

I mean besides this one.

Cat welcomes the panel, and starts host chat by asking Nigel why a dancer’s life is so hard, as he always says. Nigel chooses not to answer her question, but instead sends his condolences, thoughts, prayers, etc to the people of Minneapolis. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: That Nigel is such a giver.

Anyways, back to the question Cat asked, Nigel explains that a dancer’s life is short (And I hope he means their life actually spent dancing), because of injuries and such, so they really have to love it, even though they don’t get much money or fame. Unless they move into movies like Adam Shenkman or Rob Marshall.

God, 5 minutes later and Nigel is still talking about a dancer’s life. WE GET IT. It’s hard!

And now Adam’s talking about the Joy of Dance. He gives that old actor/dancer platitude: If you don’t feel in your heart that you must do it, then get out now because it’s a hard life. And wow, Adam danced the Oscars one year with four broken toes. He’s like an American hero. Not even addressing the “Catrey Hepburn” comment.

More judge talk time filler: does Mary think a girl could win SYTYCD this year? My friends and I discuss this and yeah, they’re going to make that happen right?

Once back from commercial, Cat explains that tonight we’re getting solos. Though they don’t make a difference towards tonight’s results, they can influence next week. Sara’s up first and does a typical b-girl routine. Sometimes I can’t really think of anything to say about the breakdancers on this show. Eh, I’m kind of over her breakdancing. It would be so much more interesting if it went like this:

Awesome.

Lacey is up next, dancing in short shorts with a tank top, tie, armwarmers and knee-high socks. Her solo is mostly her strutting around the stage, with a random slide, handspring and tiny bit of jiving (I think). I’m really over the knee-high socks thing, and I don’t think that’s a particularly kind look on Lacey.

Like, why a tie with the tanktop?

What is with all the acrobatics in everyone’s solos tonight? Sabra does some sort of handspring as part of her solo as well. Funny, cause a dancer friend the other day was telling me how everyone has tumbling skills these days and you can’t get work without them. After her dance Cat points out that Travis is cheering her on. Aw, I want to be friends with Sabra and Travis.

So that means Lauren is up last. She’s dancing to some P. Diddy song, and once again I think that Lauren has very questionable taste in music. Her solo is as good as any solo can be in sneakers. I think all the girls are phoning it in tonight, which I kind of understand. I mean, if the judges aren’t critiquing it, why risk injury and wear yourself out?

Now it’s time for the guys’ solos. Neil is up first and the ladies scream. Ugh, you’re just feeding his ego. This is one of Neil’s better efforts, though I think he trips a couple times. I like the end though. Because it’s over!

Is he wearing eyeliner?

Danny’s dancing to Elvis Priestley’s rendition of “Fever.” I mean, you guys know how I love his dancing. Even he works in some big acrobatics and it actually looks like he falls out of one, but he covers very well. Love!

Dominic’s solo actually kind of rules. He does, like, a sideways flip, and boy is that man a showman, because tonight when he does his patented spinning-on-his-head move while interlaced with a chair. It’s pretty awesome. Afterwards as Cat interviews him, Dominic is still all over her. She doesn’t seem to find it amusing. Enough Dominic!

The old sit and spin.

The last solo belongs to Pasha. Holy shit, is he wearing a skirt? I thought the man-dress might be back, but no, it’s a cape to aid Pasha’s paso doble. I mean, Pasha’s shirtless for the whole thing, so I can’t complain too much, but I don’t know how much actual dancing he did there. Oh Pasha, don’t fall in the Dmitry trap.

After the next set of commercials, the girls are lined up on stage. Cat reviews the previous night’s performances. You know how they went. Sara did well in the Argentine tango, but the hip-hop didn’t go over as well. The judges didn’t like Lacey’s Latin jazz performance, though everyone adored her in Mia Michaels’ contemporary routine. Except me.

Sabra danced a kick-ass Broadway routine with Pasha, and then a very fun quickstep. They were my favorite couple of the night. Then there was Lauren, paired with Dominic. Totally my least favorites. Lauren fell at one point in the krump and their rumba wasn’t that popular either.

So who’s in the bottom? Sara and Lauren. For once I think America got it right, much as I love Sara. Mary comments her ol’ standard – she’ll be sad to see either of them go.

After commercials, the boys are all lined up on stage. First up is Neil and right after Cat says his name the girls in the audience scream bloody murder. Ladies, can you show your love in a quieter way? Maybe a golf clap? So respectful. Anyways, Neil looked good shirtless in the Latin jazz routine, but the judges didn’t like his performance. Like Lacey, the judges loved him in the second routine, Mia Michaels’ contemporary about meeting her dead father in Heaven. There was no way you could not like it unless you don’t have a heart like me.

Danny danced the Argentine tango with Sara that the judges liked, though their hip-hop was not as popular. Yeah, the end was kind of a hot mess, as they show us in the replay. Dominic’s krumping and Rumba were kind of weak. Like I said when talking about Sabra, her and Pasha were totally my favorites.

So who’s in danger? Neil. SHOCKER! Only not so surprising because he’s so freaking unlikable… when clothed. My favorite part of the entire episode is Danny jeté-ing out of screen. Also in the bottom: Dominic. Not so shocking.

Adam is surprised to see Neil in the bottom, but thinks Dominic should be there. BURN. But of course, it’s all smoothed over with the knowledge their in the top 8 out of thousands. Dominic continues to harass Cat Deeley through all of this. Creeper!

Special guest performance from One Republic. They’re only relevant because Danny and Anya danced a contemporary routine to this song earlier in the season. Thoughts: They all need a shower. Is that a chubby Ryan Gosling on the piano? Love the live cello. Is he like, part of their band? Fast forward, I’ve heard this before.

I’d still do him.

So to recap the recap: Sara and Lauren are in the bottom. Who’s going home? Sara. DAMN, AMERICA. Lauren has been in the bottom so many times, when will this nightmare finally be over? Video montage of Sara. Hey, remember Jesus? Oh and that awesome 80′s number. And the disco? And the swing with Pasha? Sara’s been in so many of my favorite numbers of the season!

And between Neil and Dominic the one going home is… Dominic. Aw, bye hobbit! Nigel’s goodbye speech to Dominic and Sara mentions that with so many celebrities making asses of themselves, dancers like these with their “endeavor” are the true heroes to America’s youth. That’s Nigel. Bringing hope to Ameriker.

That’s it from me this week, and next week Flipit will be filling in, as I will be on vacation in Hawaii. Yay for my first real vacation in two years! Anyways a big THANK YOU to Flipit for filling in AND for doing all my pictures and captions in my SYTYCD recaps all summer. Give him a round of applause folks, he’s the best!

So what did you think of those results? When will Lauren finally go??