Recap: So You Think You Can Dance Results: Cedric the Entertainer

So, before we get into SYTYCD…. Don’t Forget the Lyrics: What’s up with that? I just caught the last minute and a half, but the things I did see looked absurd and expensive. Like, couldn’t that money have been spent on an African baby or something? How ’bout Don’t Forget Your Lyrics, Darfur? At least those kids would have a chance at dinner.

But back to the matter at hand. This is SoYouThinkYouCanDance!

Cat Deeley looks like she’s about to dash off to perform Odette/Odile in Swan Lake tonight. Which I would totally pay good money for. By the way, why don’t they ever get Ballet as a style on this show? Sure, some of the girls couldn’t work on pointe or whatever, but it is it’s own (and perhaps the most legitimate!) style of dance.

Tonight’s opening number keeps with the performance show’s Whoring-to-Hairspray theme and is set to Queen Latifah’s version of “You Can’t Stop the Beat.” So, I LOOOOVED this number in the Broadway show (It’s in my Top Moments of Musical Theater I’ve Actually Seen), so as infectious and well-danced as this is, I’m still feeling lukewarm about it. AND! They skip my favorite part – when the singer rhymes: “Come on you Von Tussles/ Go and shake your fanny muscles!” Come on, GENIUS!

Eh, it just doesn’t compare when you’ve seen someone do that and sing at the same time.

But don’t get me wrong. I love seeing musical theater represented, even if it is only in conjunction with a movie.

Inexplicably, Adam Shenkman (who totally finds the proposed boycott ridiculous!) gives the “kids” the “hungry jazz face.” I’m lost. What’s going on? Inappropriate!

Oh good, Cat has rehearsal video that should explain it. Yeah, no, it doesn’t. We do get a lot of Adam throwing himself around the stage, speaking fast, doing an impression of Paula Abdul and many, many splits. Apparently he’s also swearing, but “the kids” swear they’re having fun.

First up to hear their fates are Sabra and Dominic and Anya and Danny. Damn, Anya and Danny are in the bottom again, aren’t they? WHY America? I know he’s arrogant, but he’s fucking amaaaazing.

Last night Sabra and Dominic danced a hip hop routine that was soft and told a story and the jidges loved it. Danny and Anya performed a contemporary routine. It was gorgeous, but Adam Shankman thought Danny was arrogant and Nigel thought Danny lacked the “x-factor.” Aaaand Sabra and Dominic are safe. Oh, how the tides have turned.

Nigel takes a moment to clarify why he doesn’t think Danny is arrogant. He thinks no one could train that hard and be so good if he was arrogant. Which isn’t a real reason. Just look at Shaq on Shaq’s Big Challenge. Nigel maintains that they are two of the best dancers ever to be on the show, but there’s something missing. Whoa, way to rope Anya in there too.

The second group consists of Lacey and Kameron, Sara and Pasha and Shauna and Cedric. Clearly it’s going to be Shauna and Cedric, who danced a pretty ugly Mambo that Mary pretended to like, so her comments wouldn’t backfire like the week before. Lacey and Kameron danced the Hustle really well and are the first to be told their safe. Sara and Pasha’s West Coast Swing, choreographed by Benji Schwimmer was also a hit with the judges and yes, they are safe. Bye Cedric!

Mary continues to lie that Cedric is growing and deserves to stay. Aw, nice consolation speech.

The last group consists of Jamie and Hok and Lauren and Neil. Jamie and Hok waltzed and the judges slammed it. Lauren and Neil had a kick-ass Jazz routine from Wade Robison. Jamie and Hok are in the bottom. I’m not shocked, though I did think Hok was going to skate through to the Top 10 on personality alone.

AWWW! Mary brought Phyllis Diller along as her date! How sweet!

Before the solos, more Whoring-for-Hairspray as we get video of everyone attending the L.A. premiere. It’s mostly boring, but I do have a few quick notes. First of all, that is not a dress, Lauren! It’s a slip! It goes under the DRESS.

And heh, Nigel makes fun of the fact that Mary’s ta-tas are having a night out too.

Next up on Adam’s agenda: Step Up 2. Not kidding. Well have fun with that, buddy.

First up to solo is Anya, wearing a leopard print unitard. With fringe. Ballroom dancers… This week she’s got faster music and it’s certainly better than last week, but still not mindblowing, which is what the judges seem to look for in a solo. Also, female dancers really need to stop trying to use the railing as a prop, it just makes them look like strippers.

When did Fran Drescher’s couch start stripping?

Next is Danny. Beautiful, shirtless, AMAZING Danny. Once again, he freaking DANCES for his LIFE. Shauna is up next and does another great solo, though not as spectacular as the last time she saved herself. Though maybe I’m just distracted because she’s dancing to The Cranberries. Heh, Cat pulls the “fingers crossed it’s enough to stay.” Every time she says it I detect a little more sarcasm.

I think you’re fine just the way you are, stud.

Cedric’s solo is full of the boneless dancing we’re used to from Cedric. So freaking cool and, yes, unique, but it’s not all about the solos. (Thank God!) Jamie’s solo is lovely and impressive. I didn’t know 190 degree splits were possible. Hok dances last to “Ease on Down the Road,” and it’s amazing how he puts a story and a character in his 30-second solo. Love him.

After the judges head backstage to deliberate, Hilary Duff comes out to perform. Okay, want to hear a secret? She’s the first performer all season that I didn’t immediately fast forward. I’m sorry, but “So Yesterday” is so catchy! Don’t judge me. Anyways, this is really boring and I eventually come to my senses and fast forward.

Hilary sure loves showing off those new abs, doesn’t she?

When we come back from commercial, the girls are ready to hear who’s going home. Nigel makes a point to mention that they are not basing their decision purely by how everyone danced that night, but on how they’ve performed over the entire show – AhemCedricAhem.

Jamie is safe. Anya’s solos are not strong enough, and he knows she’s used to dancing with a partner, but SYTYCD is also a solo show, so she needs to figure out how to do one. However, Anya’s shown great growth throughout the season, so she is staying. Also because Shauna has no personality. Shauna doesn’t seem that surprised.

On to the gentlemen. Cedric is going home. Nigel gives him the ol’ thanks and goodbye. We all knew that was coming. Next step: Debbie Allen’s school, Cat reminds him. At home, Debbie Allen is all:

Huh? Whaaa?