Recap: So You Think You Can Dance Results Show: Kameron Just Got Served

Well it’s another results show, only now the judges don’t make the decision, AMERICA does, so we’re left with even more time to fill uselessly than usual. Ah good times. There’s a controversy over coats and peace signs, because apparently some people out there really like war. What assholes, but hey, it’s FOX.

Welcome to SoYouThinkYouCanDance!

War is bad. And really sexy.

The show opens on a dark stage. In the corner of my TV, I can see the title: “The Moment Said It” by Imogen Heap. Totally a Mia Michaels routine here. It’s all dark and spazzy, but beautiful(?). Starring Danny Tidwell. He’s front and center for almost the whole thing, but I don’t mind. We see some classic Mia Michaels moves like the slide off the stage, etcetera. Oooh, I like the blinking red light over Danny’s heart at the end.

Danny’s a Cylon!

Oh and Eliza Doolittle is joining us on the stage! Yes, tonight Cat is dressed a the 21st century “after” Eliza. She reminds us that the girl and guy with the lowest votes are going home tonight. So here to do nothing but blabber for 40 minutes to fill some time are our jidges!

Get your own damned slippers, you pig!

Cat starts by addressing the controversy last night over Mia’s jacket. Only she says controversy like the Brits do… which I can’t even describe except to say it’s totally WRONG. Like as wrong as the way they say advertisement.

Anyways, like I said in the previous recap, there was a big controversy over Mia’s Marines jacket and the emblems on her arms were also upside down. Seriously, from working on more than one war play, I know military guys get freaking pissed about that. They’re so touchy about their patches. Oooh, too far?

Apparently people were upset by Wade’s routine as well. Whoever is pissed about a message about peace has to be out of their gourd. Yeah it was cheesy and ridiculous, but Nigel makes the very good point that no war is a good war, even if it’s necessary, so to say you are anti-war doesn’t mean you don’t support the troops. Of course they support the troops. Then he goes for the guilt trip to remind viewers the dancers used words like “humility,” “love” and “compassion” and he doesn’t feel he needs to defend those sentiments. It’s actually very well said.

Wait, a well spoken person on this panel? Better counterbalance that with a little crazy in the form of Mary Murphy. Mary’s scared the voters have made the wrong decision. But knowing Mary’s fickle ways, she’s going to call any decision the wrong one.

The decision to wear this top? WRONG.

When we return from commercial it’s time for a time filler as Cat welcomes Mika. They are a hipster band. The lead singer is wearing a pair of bright blue skinny jeans that are definitely girls’ jeans and he’s a dude. He also starts off in a pair of red Wayfarers and that’s strike one, two and three right there. The rest of his band is equally as absurd. There’s a lot of falsetto. Fast forward…

After the performance that band clears out awfully fast as Cat takes a moment to remind us of the rules before welcoming the top 5 girls to the stage. Cat will reveal which two are in danger. Then the bottom two will perform their solos, which won’t serve to change the outcome, but will remind the viewing audience “just how special they are.”

Last night Sabra was praised to high heaven for both her work in the contemporary piece with Kameron, and for her solo. Mia called Sabra her favorite. Sabra is safe. Duh.

Jamie danced a horrible horrible Viennese waltz disguised as a Paso Doble. The judges hated it but thought she danced it well. Nigel thought she could have done better at her solo, but Mary disagreed. Jaimie is the first one named to the bottom four. Dun dun DUN!

Lacey was partnered with Danny and danced a hot samba. She was on her home turf and was freakin’ amazing, though the jidges warned her not to lose sight of her partner. We learn that last night was the first time Lacey did a solo. Nigel liked it but Mia wanted more emotion. Lacey is safe. Again.

So it’s down to Lauren and Sara. Lauren danced a hip-hop routine with Pasha that the jidges liked well enough. Lauren danced her solo for her brother in the Air Force and the judges really liked her performance. Sara performed a kick-ass disco with Neil. Nigel thought Sara was small in her solo, but it made Mia tear up. So who’s safe? Sara! Congrats. Lauren goes to join Jaimie on the Stools o’ Shame.

Cat then welcomes out the top 5 guys. Cat reminds us that Neil was pretty awesome in the disco the night before, though the judges commented after his solo that his upper body can get ugly. Neil is pleased to learn that he is safe.

Mary didn’t like Danny’s samba the night before, though Nigel and Mia loved his performance. The jidges all loved his solo, though. As did America. Danny gives a high-kick in celebration of being safe.

The kick is ok, but the knee highs are BRILLIANT.

Dominic was the other one in that train wreck of a Viennese waltz. Nigel called him a caricature. The jidges found his solo emotional, but lacking. Dominic is unsurprisingly in the bottom four.

So who will join Dominic, Lauren and Jaimie in the bottom four? Pasha? Or Kameron? I mean, clearly Kameron, but the show still takes us through the song and dance. Kameron was ripped apart after his contemporary routine, but praised for his solo. Pasha was praised for his hip-hop, but criticized for his solo. They’re kind of even there, but Pasha has that little bit extra and he is safe. So Lacey really was carrying Kameron through to the top 10.

Mia is too busy gagging to hear Cat ask her what she thinks of these results. Mia would have liked to see Pasha there. Well the ladies of America disagree with you there. Cat asks the other jidges more time filling questions, blabbity blah, it’ll be hard to see any of them go, lies, lies, lies. Nigel reminds them they’re all on the tour now, so really it’s all about the quarter of a million dollars now. The non-billionaire dancers on stage are all like, “Oh that’s all, you say? I’m fine going home then.”

Pervy Daddy Warbucks

After the commercial, we are treated to useless solos from our bottom four. Jaimie’s solo is less “desperate” than last week and her hair comes out of it’s bun in the most ridiculous way.

Dominic’s solo is more Dominic, but he does perhaps the most impressive headspin we’ve seen from him yet. Ah yes, we remember why you’re here now. Dominic feigns fainting and Cat totally believed him for a minute. LOL.

Lauren’s solo is also more of the same. Spinny and mannish and spastic Lauren. Cat calls it a “smiley, happy solo.” That’s Lauren.

The last solo belongs to Kameron and yeah, I’m ready for him to go. I mean, we’re still getting married and all, but he’s not the most exciting dancer here. Apparently Cat thinks she could dance a solo that well as she challenges him, “How difficult was that really?” Uh oh, sounds like someone just got served!

So it’s time to learn who’s going home. But first Mia offers some words of advice: don’t borrow your friend’s military jacket. Secondly, she can’t wait to see where their careers go. That’s not really advice so much as encouragement, but whatevs.

Cat reveals that Jaimie is the one going home tonight. Aw, tear! Jaimie says she’ll remember all the people and dancing on the stage the most. Jaimie, that’s like everything you do on this show. Well, she’ll remember it all.

So is Kameron or Dominic leaving? Mary reminds them that out of thousands of people at the initial auditions, they’re here, so to think of this as the beginning of their careers. The guy going home is Kameron. I think my favorite part of the whole episode is the girl in the audience who screams “NO!” during the hushed silence right after Cat announces his departure.

I blame the faux hawk.

So what do you think of these results? Who do you think is the next to go?